bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

    • "It's fine, though.", the wolf reassured him and he meant it. There was no need to feel bad about being unable to do certain things, or reign himself in. Yujin liked Richard for more than one thing and he also was, even if painfully, aware that he liked to beat himself up over some of the silliest things sometimes. Was that bad? Yujin doubted it, but there was no way of knowing anyway and there also was no reason for him to try and kill time with someone that couldn't quite cherish it. Did the prince really feel bad about being unable to remember all of this in the end? He surely was, not to speak of the fact that Richard deserved somebody that could cherish him, his feelings and try to actually piece the puzzle together that he was - but Yujin was none of that, because even he would try and then forget once more, which was why he had no right to have done any of this in the first place. Did it matter, though? As long as Richard felt good, it probably didn't and that was a verdict to live by. "I'll make do, and as long as we have each other, I doubt it'll get too boring. After all, it never gets boring with you around."

      The truth was, Yujin kind of kind of knew that once Richard was gone, maybe he'd just forget all of this happened in the first place - maybe, just maybe, to him none of this had ever happened then, and even if he tried to remember any of it, he couldn't. Was that supposed to be bliss or a nightmare in and of itself? Whatever it was, he didn't want any of it, he'd much rather stick to Richards side and spend as many days in the hut as possible, before they both grew annoyed with each other or bored of one another. Was there even such a thing as that? He doubted it, but he also couldn't tell if he'd have time to figure out how to make any of this work until the fireworks - what if his father actually showed up at the doorstep and what if he was going to be brought home regardless? It seemed like they were playing a losing game either way. "And I thought I had, but the more I struggle to remember something, the more I hate the sole thought of not remembering.", he sighed, but he knew this was inevitable either way. There was no way of knowing more things than his brain was capable of, even if he missed a matching scar to go with it, he'd deal with it one way or the other. What even was going on? "I'm not going anywhere.", he mumbled, squeezing Richards hand in return - he wondered if it would be smart to wiggle the other one beneath the blonde, but who knew if that wouldn't hurt somewhere? "Then you've at least got something to remember me by, that's neat." A scar, just for him, huh? That sounded much worse than it was. "No, me neither. I just thought of something silly, actually, but lets leave that for another day."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Usually we do more than just lie around though.", Richard pointed out, but it would maybe not be the whole week. He doubted he was up for a walk tomorrow, but maybe in two days. For now he shifted his position and turned his head to the side to be closer to Yujin. It was nice just holding his hand and knowing that Richard wasn't alone, that there was someone caring about him. Richard doubted he'd ever be very good at being alone and that was probably why he even let Yujin come this close. He changed a lot, but he was still himself somehow too. Would Yujin regret ever speaking to Richard at some point? it felt like he had fallen for him way too hard, but Richard did nothing to stop that. He turned his confession down, but there hadn't been any other consequences. Yujin claimed it was only a joke, but Richard was sure he meant it. This led to nothing though, which was the reason Richard didn't even start thinking about what he actually felt for Yujin. Maybe he loved him too, but it hardly mattered.

      "Don't beat yourself up over it...", Richard mumbled. "People around you know about it and they take it in consideration and sometimes you do remember after all." He hadn't forgotten Richard even when they hadn't sen each other for a while and there were some things that remained very clear for him for a long time, like the one time Richard shoved Yujin out of the bed on accident. Maybe it was all there, but he tried to access it the wrong way. At some point it all would come back to him eventually, just not when he wanted it maybe. Richard pressed a short kiss on Yujins forehead, maybe to comfort him, or maybe just because he said he'd remain where he was. "I think I remember you either way.", he replied. He didn't need a scar for that and it probably wasn't the best memorial either. "Something silly? You can at least tell me, I'm not tired yet." The painkiller needed some more time to do its work anyway, Richard doubted he'd be able to sleep right now.

    • "Not that we can, with your dad in the next room and you in visible discomfort.", the wolf uttered, but he knew as much that it wasn't always about the one thing, rather than the other. They came up with plenty of silly ideas during their time together, as much as they came up with things they could do as long as they stuck togethet, yet, in the end, they also both knew that whatever happened, happened and none of the things he didn't know how to figure out would matter much. There were many things that could go one way or the other and there were even more that weren't made to be found out about at all - Yujin was perfectly fine with cuddling for now, with wasting the rest of his days away and not ever giving a flying fuck about anything again. Surely, he'd eventually have to return home and the only way to escape his rampant thoughts would be to bury his nose in books and to pretend nothing had ever happened in the first place, but even then, he was far from doing anything significant, from changing anything that he could, or would be able to and there was no way of knowing what was going to happen if he only spend his days lunging around, waiting for some time to kill or for Richard to suddenly return, once the darkness swallowed him and buried him somewhere else.

      "I'll try not to.", he reassured, even though there was no way of figuring all of that out either way. Yujin would forever stay the way he was, naive and kind of lonely, unable to conntect with anyone for real, simply because he'd eventually forget every single one of them and realize that nothing was going to happen from here on out, only for him to start over and over and over again. "But sometimes isn't always good enough.", Yujin sighed. There had to be a way to figure all of this out, to evade Richards gaze because he suddenly, ever so slightly, felt a bit uncomfortable, but he didn't - instead, he found himself stuck in place, only looking at the blonde that offered him a kiss, just before wistfully casting his gaze aside. Did he truly deserve it? It wasn't a kiss on the lips, nothing of that sort, but it was something at the very least. "I'm hard to forget, aren't I?" At least the blonde wouldn't forget him, just like his friends wouldn't and yet, it felt somewhat odd, didn't it? There was no way of knowing, of figuring any of this out for either of them, but it happened the way it should, even if he didn't figure it out right away. Was this truly how it was supposed to be? "I cut the palm of your hand, you cut the palm of my hand and we exchange some droplets of blood, how's that sound? Well, aside from painful and probably stupid."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Visible discomfort...?", Richard asked mumbling. "Sounds like I'm moaning non-stop with a frown on my face." Was he? No, not really. Sure, he was in pain, but he was able to just lay back and zone out a bit and that was enough to bare it. The painkillers would start to help him soon enough too, but Yujin was right with one thing, Richard wasn't up for any sexual activity for multiple reasons, Nayantai being next door was only one of them. Besides that Richard just felt tired, worn out and his whole body ached, not just his arm and side. He had probably overused every muscle in his body by dragging that bear back to town and he'd feel that for multiple days too. Tomorrow he probably wouldn't even be able to lift up his right arm, just because the muscles in his shoulders were overworked and tired. It wouldn't be much fun being around the blonde, but he had the feeling that Yujin didn't mind and instead was happy about every instance Richard asked him for help. The blonde already got over not asking, he was too tired to do everything on his own and having Yujin fetch some medicine had been a good decision.

      Richard wasn't the right person to tell Yujin to get over his shortcomings, because he himself couldn't live with the fact that he did absolutely nothing to save his siblings and that resulted in their death. Richard hated himself for it and sometimes hated himself for being still alive, having fun with some strange wolf and he most certainly wasn't able to let go, lest he'd not go back to Adrestia. Proving his strength was one thing, but he only did it so he'd be let go of Nayantai to what he felt needed to be done and was the only reason he still walked this earth. "It's good enough for me.", Richard replied to Yujin and squeezed his hand once more. "Let's say I've never met someone quite like you before, but I also don't know many Thrians to compare you with." Richard didn't mean Yujins forgetfulness, his crazy father or his blue eyes that suck out, no Yujins character was just so different. He seemed like all he did was for someone else and not himself, but maybe that was what happened when someone didn't remember, not even oneselve sometimes. How could one form a character, wishes and dreams, if that person didn't have any experience to feed off of? When Richard thought about it, Yujin had it worse than he thought. "Don't I have enough scars already?", the blonde then asked slighty shaking his head. "Why would you want a bloodpact? Isn't that something between brothers usually?"

    • “Nobody said that.”, Yujin chuckled softly and he was right. Couldn’t visible discomfort be many things? Or was it just that he had picked up on something that wasn’t even quite there, or maybe not even as obvious as he thought it to be? “Maybe I’m overthinking, but you are in pain regardless. I wish that I could mend it.” It seemed more like a dream than anything, he was sure of that, but as long as he kept on dreaming, maybe they’d become reality one day - even when he had no idea how he’d manage that. Then again, Richard had received painkillers and they’d probably start working anytime soon, though, there was no way of absolutely knowing for sure if that would take care of each and every problem he had. Yujin, on the other hand, couldn’t help him much either, he could just offer comfort whenever it was due, though, that seemed to he about it in regards to things he could help the blonde with. “I’m glad I can stay here with you …”, he admitted eventually, knowing that this was his safest bet either way. There would be nothing to do at home and the longer he sat in this stupid room of his, the more he forgot - at least that was, what it felt like. Taking a hit to the head had to he the worst thing that had ever happened to him and yet, he wasn’t even sure if it had been that. There was no scar, no visible sign of anything - and he didn’t know what to do about it. What if he’d been like this forever and just forgot?

      Yujin squeezed Richards hand shortly thereafter, knowing that they both probably preferred silence over uninformed rambling, yet, there was only so much either of them could really do and it showed. Being in the hut wasn’t so bad and sleeping next to Richard was even better - however, that was all that Yujin could do right about now, especially since he didn’t want to hurt the blonde or pretend he actually was still mad at him. Was he? No, he doubted that, absolutely, and there was no way of really telling if he’d be the one that was able to let go. All of this was a joke. “But what if it isn’t for me?”, he questioned, yet, it was so silent he didn’t even know if Richard understood - he didn’t need to, Yujin didn’t care if he did, just this once, because that would just spark an argument he was well aware of. Whatever or not he wanted to, change was impossible in his case and he’d be stuck like this, probably until he forgot who he was himself and that’d be it. “Guess I stick out like a sore thumb among them anyway.” That was true, but Richard was not much different and they both knew that, yet, he was odd for an entirely different reason - though, they both didn’t look like typical wolves, did they now? “You do, that’s why I said it was dumb.”, he mumbled, knowing that the outcome would have had to be something like that. What would they even need something as silly as that for? Yujin had an idea, but instead of wording it, it just sounded sad - and after all, Richard would disappear, never to be seen again at some point, there was no need to play pretend. “Not necessarily, but … it’s silly, forget it. It doesn’t matter much anyway.”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "It's fine really...", Richard answered. The truth was, that he was glad he wasn't alone. He was glad Yujin was here, simply next to him and he was glad he'd stay a while longer if his father didn't pull him out of here on his hair. Richard didn't bring himself to say it out loud though, he felt like Yujin came way too close already anyway and he'd miss him either way, that was something Richard never intended to happen. Then again, his memory was bad anyway and it seemed to be getting worse for some reason, or maybe Richard was just imagining things because the things he told and experienced with him got more and more, so there was more he forgot too. "When we leave, you could still use this hut, you know?", Richard suggested. It would remain empty anyway, why wouldn't Yujin flee here if he needed some time for himself? Maybe Richard shouldn't have mentioned that though, Yujin always kind of zoned out when he did, becau7se he didn't want Richard to go, or to at least come back, but Richard couldn't promise neither of those options.

      Yujin was feeling down right now, Richard could feel and hear it. he was very quiet, but Richard still understood what he said and because of that he lifted up his hurt arm and turned on his side. It hurt a little, but it was fine. He turned a little more, almost on his stomach to not lie on the wound on his side. Then he moved his hurt arm over Yujin. Once he could rest it on the bed behind Yujin again it was fine anyway and he didn't care about the pain, it hurt holding still too. "I wish I could help you.", Richard mumbled, resting his head on Yujins shoulder. "I'm the Adrestian with blonde hair here, if we're together, I'll always be the one sticking out." There was a reason he didn't go out too much. He hated all those gazes and he was sure it was partly because of his looks, or maybe it was all about that. "It won't change anything. I won't forget you though, if that's what you're scared of." There had been enough blood already today, they didn't need more of that and there would be more once they changed the bandages too. Richard still felt a little bit stupid for making such a mess.

    • Yujin was glad and yet, it felt odd to be just that - Richard tried his earnest to make him feel better, at least Yujin figured that his fellow wolf at least tried to, but he went quite a bit overboard in more than one way, or at least he believed that the blonde did. Was it because they both cared more about one another than they should, or was it because the prince was nothing more than the selfish brat that Richard had called him out as so many weeks ago? Actually, it felt odd to have exactly that kind of knowledge stick with him and if he tried to wrap his head around all of that now, he almost felt as if something was going to happen that had no real place in this conversation or bed, much like his own sadness or the fact that he was the one being accommodated for and not trying to accommodate Richard instead, who needed it more than him. Normally, he'd feel at peace here, yet he didn't and his mind seemed to race and go into many, many different directions that all made no sense, almost like he was pulling strings from a piece of yarn, all cut up and tangled. "I ... guess? Someone has to take care of your plants ... because ... I mean ... they still have to be there when you ... come back, right?", the wolf babbled, barely audibly and his throat feeling horribly dry anyway - actually, it was nice that it was as dark in here as it was, because Yujin was sure that his eyes were probably all glassy and he barely bit back some tears. What was up with him anyway? Whatever Richard came back or not didn't matter much, didn't it? In the end, this was just some escape, probably, and he'd go back to nothing soon - once he forgot Richard, nothing would hurt and there would be no tugging at his heartstrings to begin with. Something that actually hurt was rare, yet, this did, more than it most likely should and it felt incredibly awful, kind of as if it were a special kind of questionable torture that he'd never asked for. Wasn't all of this happening because he was an absolute idiot and only focused on himself?

      "Doesn't that hurt?", he croaked instead, not that he did mind, but he didn't think that could be comfortable for Richard, either. What was it with the blonde and trying to accommodate him now? The wolf felt conflicted, almost as if he wanted all of this and none of it at the same time, almost as if it was going to hurt to think about it to begin with and yet, he couldn't deny that he liked it. "I can't even help myself. Thank you for trying, though.", he chuckled. Normally, he was full of high spirits and always trying to help anyone who needed it - was that really what he wanted? Didn't he just look for someone that was going to help him? That sounded silly, he didn't need help, he never had, never would - his head was messed up, he'd been over that, yet, since he knew Richard, he questioned things he never wanted to and it all had turned into a gigantic mess. Yujin moved his hands and arms around the blonde as best as they could, navigating around the wound on his side to get to the back and hugging him for real, just to draw circles on his back. Who was he trying to soothe - himself or the blonde? "I think, even if we are together, we still kind of both stick out. If we'd each prance around with some of my friends, we'd just stick individually. But you're right, blonde hair is quite easy to spot among black and some brown." Thrians were quite boring, too, and it seemed almost as if there was going to be no way of resolving that in the long run. Who knew, maybe just trying to recall Richards outlandish looks would help with keeping him close? It didn't sound so bad. "I'm glad that you won't ... but ... I can't promise you the same. I'll try, though, okay? Sorry ..." Fuck. In the end, the sad, sorry sap that he thought Richard was had actually been him, hadn't it? No, they both were, and sharing pain probably was fine, but this was just ... "I'm sorry for ruining your birthday with this stuff."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard wouldn't come back, even now, when he found someone he genuinely cared about, even though he swore himself he wouldn't let anybody get that close again. Either way there was no coming back though. His nightmares wouldn't stop and his revenge was a fruitless attempt, one he'd never succeed in fully without dying, which was fine. Even if he did come back, Yujin wouldn't remember him, not one bit and he'd be all alone again, maybe even more alone, because his stubborn father wouldn't just quit either probably. Richard didn't want that, but he also couldn't talk to anyone about it. Nayantai knew, silently accepted it, but he wouldn't stop him either and Yujin couldn't know, he would try to stop Richard and he might succeed. Richard couldn't let him try and he stopped telling Yujin he wouldn't come back for exactly that reason. "You're right. But they also need a burning fire, you know? You'd have to come here often.", Richard replied as if he thought he'd come back here to healthy plants and a warm hut, as if he thought Yujin would be able to even do that...

      "It's fine, don't worry.", Richard replied. He doubted he'd be able to sleep that way, but being awake like this was fine. "Sometimes we need other people to help us. You helped me, you know?" Not by patching him up, by being an annoying little brat that didn't keep his distance. By dragging Richard out of the hut even when he told him he didn't want to. Richard healed a little bit. Yujin might not have patched his emotional pain up fully, but he made him live a little while longer, but the blood seeping through forced Richard back to Adrestia anyway. There was nothing Yujin could do about that, but what he had done was already enough. Yujins hand on his back and around his body felt warm and comforting and Richard wanted to use the time they got left well - like this, just together, talking or no talking, either was fine. "Still you like it, huh?", Richard asked, meaning his hair that was so different from all the other people here and in some of them it probably woke feelings of the war they fought in, but in Silesse he was probably lucky in that regard. "It's fine if you forget me.", Richard simply said, that was the whole reason he let himself be pulled closer to Yujin anyway. "You haven't ruined anything. I ruined the evening, but in the end we had a little bit of fun anyway, right?"

    • People came and they went - Richard hadn't been around all his life and Yujin was sure that he wouldn't stay until he himself forgot, until the snow in Silesse thawed, if that was possible in the first place, or there were some more adventures to be had. Regardless, he tried to reassure Yujin, tried to tell him what he wanted to hear and given the circumstances, Yujin was neither sure if he was being lied to - something he didn't think Richard would do - or being treated the honest way. They had made promises and deals, left and right, until they figured that wouldn't work for them, knowing that Yujin would have a hard time recalling and Richard wouldn't be able to keep track of all of it for both of them - whatever it hurt or not didn't stand up to any scrutiny. He cuddled closer, wanted to bury his face in his bedmates chest, or a pillow, or one of those many furs, but he wasn't able to, he didn't want to move in any way. "I can manage that. As long as ... well. I should stop souring the mood.", he voiced, sounding vexed. Whether he remembered or not, Richard or the plants, he could at least try his earnest, not fish for compliments or promises, hoping for the best, putting some trust in himself, in his brain and his ability to recall this conversation, this agreement, word of honor, pledge - whatever it was, in the end. Yujin could do that, as long as he made an attempt. That was a dirty lie. "You usually say that when I should worry.", he pointed out. Not that he recalled an instance, it was merely to feign the ability to hark back to what they'd one talked about, whatever words had poured from his lips like a fine string of pearls, only to disintegrate upon impact with the outside world, to show him that nothing was going to happen, that nothing was in his favor and he could hardly tell who he himself was supposed to be.

      Yujin always tried to, metaphorically, get back up on both legs, ever since the incident, but once he had regained the footing he'd lost and tried to take a step forward, upward the steep hill that symbolized all that had been flung his way, he fell, scraped his knee and slided down further, until he'd wind up at the foot of said hill, unable to help himself back up, the peak sliding further and further out of his grasp, forced to watch on. "It's not like you wanted yourself to be helped, at least at first." If there was one thing that had burned itself into his head until the day he'd pass, he wanted it to be a genuine moment, something like the things he'd experienced not so long ago, and yet, it seemed to be the former princes' initial reaction to shove him away, rid himself of the one that dared to come too close too soon. He wound up looking for support on Richards back at first, only to twirl some strands of his hair with his fingers, wondering when it had gotten so long and why he was so worried about him disappearing in the first place. "It feels nice when I touch it ... and it's part of you, why wouldn't I like it?", he acknowledged. "I'm just surprised it got this long that fast." That was true. Sure, Richards hair hadn't been as short as that of other sheep - he hoped it wasn't - but it was easier to touch like this, much like it wasn't easy to smile like this. "I ... Richard, it's not. I can't just forget everything about you, or you. That's not only going to hurt me, it will hurt you, too. Especially if I see you up close and can't tell who you are when you come back." Thinking about a possible scenario like that tugged at his heartstrings - and as if it were of any help, Yujin shut his eyes, hopefully blocking any tears from forming. This was bad enough. "You didn't ruin anything, you're hardly responsible for what your heart does or doesn't do." That much was the truth, Richard couldn't control his own turmoil of feelings. "It was a lot of fun, actually. Thank you for that. And I'm glad you liked my present.", he chuckled, eventually. Yujin felt tired, spent, probably from the suspense and the weird adrenaline rush from earlier, but he wasn't sure if he could sleep like this, let alone if Richard would. "Hm, what about you turn on your back and I just cuddle up to your good arm or side? That would be better for you and you could sleep, too."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I am fine. Everything hurts regardless, my position doesn't matter...", Richard replied and besides, it would only be a matter of time until the medicine he took would work and rid him of his pain. It also meant that he would probably get tired again and fall asleep. That wasn't too bad, it was still dark outside and not nearly early enough to get up. The longer he slept the more time his arm would have to heal too and maybe the pain would dissipate soon. The sooner the better. Richard wanted time with Yujin, but he also wanted to go home, to finish what he simply had to do. He didn't beat Nayantai in a fair fight, but he brought home a giant bear, much bigger than anything setting foot into Adrestia. Richard wanted to talk to Nayantai, he wanted him to acknowledge that Richard was ready to go back and get his revenge. He gave himself another week to heal up and to watch the fireworks with Yujin, but then he needed to go back home and end this. His arm would have plenty of time to heal on the way.

      "No... I mean yes, I said that. But I needed it... I think." Maybe the medicine was speaking when Richard admitted to all of this, but he knew it was true. He fell in love with Yujin, even though he'd never tell him, he did very early on and just wanted to keep him away, because he didn't want to be bound to this place, when he had to go back to Adrestia eventually. He didn't want to hurt Yujin either, once he left, but now he would. Saying goodbye was not an option. Yujin wouldn't let Richard go and Richard wouldn't know how to tell him to. "Fast? I've been here a while...", Richard replied. Could Yujin even remember how Richard looked like when they first met? Richard wouldn't come back though, never and it was better if Yujin didn't remember him. "It's fine. It doesn't mean you hate me, right?", he simply said. He knew it didn't and it wasn't Yujins fault. It was better that way anyway. "With all the things happening today... I almost forgot that I turned eighteen...", he mumbled. Not that a number was that important. He slightly shook his head, then finally moved again and followed what Yujin had proposed. He turned on his back again and tried to find a comfortable position. Then he closed his eyes and let the medicine do the rest.

    • This was his fault, wasn't it? No, Yujin was grasping at straws here - he was making all of this harder than it had to be, he didn't have to throw more of his insecurities at Richard and fish for a reaction; it hardly mattered anyway. This idea was his own, or rather Richard would claim he himself was to blame and Yujin was too tired to argue for once, too pained to deny his bedmate any more sleep or another claim to being at fault. They both wanted silence and therefore, they should both shut their mouths indefinitely, not keep bickering and arguing for old times sake - and still, Yujin didn't want to shut up, didn't want to accept the dread creeping up from within, but there was nothing more to say about any of this. "I could never hate you, not in a million years.", he admitted; he couldn't just seal his lips and let Richard wait for an answer that would never come - and it was the truth. Whatever mix of ill-advised emotions he felt for the fallen crown prince were real, far from hate, and yet he couldn't express them, not because he lacked the ability to put them into words, but rather because it was something that was better left unspoken, locked away and ignored. Yujin didn't hate Richard himself, no, but he hated his inability to commit to something - to talk about the obvious, and yet he let him, knowing well enough that none of this was supposed to be all that hard; Yujin loved Richard, that much was for certain, but admitting to it didn't help with the headache he was causing both of them. "It's a lot, that's true ... Happy birthday, Richard.", he mumbled, still forcing himself to smile, even if neither of them could see it - and soon thereafter, after they had adjusted their position and Yujin had cuddled up to Richard, there was nothing but silence. The wolf didn't feel like sleeping, but he also didn't feel like waking up someone that clearly needed his well-deserved rest; Yujin shut up and lay there, in silence, eventually falling asleep himself.

      The week he spent at the hut was over in no time, even if Yujin would have wanted to savor the feeling just a tiny bit more, the night of the fireworks approached rapidly and that was that; he'd have to go back to his cold and boring room after that and while he had appreciated the much-needed silence that he sometimes shared with both Nayantai and Richard, he could only wonder how angry his father would be once he set his foot back into the frozen castle - he shook the thought of soon enough, the headache he was swallowing down was only going to get worse and he'd claimed his leg didn't hurt. Richard was quick to notice, but it hadn't been anything a bit of medicine couldn't fix and Yujin was grateful for that. Who was he to complain, though? He still demanded a boatload of cuddling from the guy that had a fucked up arm and was particularly glued to him at times, so much that he sometimes could only hear the old man laugh about it and Richard getting embarrassed over it in the process (or did he?) - it was fun, even if they didn't do much in the first place; they could still be close, spend time with one another and be silly, Yujin didn't need much more. However, none of this was bound to last forever, so it was only natural that he stepped out into Silesses crisp nightair eventually and shivered, for once in his life. "We should go look for our spot ... and you're sure you don't want to fold paper boats?", he asked again, as if he hadn't for the fifth time today and as if Richard was a moody child that needed to be roped into things, like all the other times before this. At least it wasn't dark yet, but it would be soon - it never took long for the dusk to fade. "Or do you still think it's silly?" Honestly, it wasn't - but maybe useless, to someone like Richard at the very least. "We'd just have to take a short detour!"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard felt odd the following week. It wasn't because he was hurt, because his body needed rest and the medication that took away his pain made him feel drowsy at times, no none of it was the reason. When Yujin took a bath Richard took the opportunity to talk to his father, to tell him that he still wanted to lave and that he proved his strength by bringing home this bear, albeit being hurt. To Richards surprise it didn't take much convincing, Nayantai agreed and Richard told him he wanted to leave as soon as this winter festival thing was over. Once Yujin got back home, Richard would vanish. Knowing that this was their last week together Richard felt weird and he might have been a little nicer to Yujin that he used to be. He spent most of the time with him, while Nayantai already took preparations for their journey. Yujin couldn't know however, Richard didn't want a long teary goodbye and he didn't want to argue with him. He also wanted this last night to be just for them and he wanted Yujin to have fun, without thinking about loosing or forgetting Richard.

      The week went by very fast and now Yujin was dragging Richard to that spot he wanted to show him, to watch the fireworks together. It was cold outside, it would only get colder, but Richard was fine in his multiple layers that made him look kinda fat. He eyed Yujin that seemingly got used to the warm hut and he also eyed his leg that started to act up a few days ago. He seemed fine now at least and Richard questioned if he judged Shuren too soon. Either way, it didn't matter now, all that mattered was having a good night and the little present Richard had stuffed into his coat to hide it from Yujin, though he probably noticed the bump in his clothes. It was wrapped in some leather and string so he at least couldn't see what it was right away. Richard took great percussions to hide the fact that he prepared something for Yujin. "Yujin... I don't think I can even fold them with that arm...", he sighed after telling Yujin he didn't believe in a tradition like that multiple times already. His arm was still bandaged and swollen, he even had it in a sling still, even though he was pretty sure he didn't need it. "Is it really that important to you?"

    • If Yujin had to guess, the plethora of clothing - the foreign heaps of fabric - that Richard had draped his body in were anything but something he wanted. Given, he felt kind of bad about it, essentially just because they probably could have picked any other day of the year, but alas, maybe he was wrong - maybe Richard wouldn't freeze to death, having to thank multiple layers of fabric for that and if Yujin was terribly honest, maybe he was exaggerating as well; Richard would be able to hold up against the cold, to stomach whatever the world outside threw at him and it wasn't like he'd just spent multiple hours passed out in some snow a week or so ago. "I can help you fold one, that won't be a problem!", he remarked, suddenly back in high spirits, just as he used to be. Why was that a thing, though? Richard had asked him to see everything, so Yujin wouldn't be the one to deny him. Sure, there were other things - like the fireworks - that were far more important, but the paper boats were a nice addition to something that Yujin could hardly not call a tradition. Spending it together with Richard sounded far better than doing it with any friends of his, and while one could argue that it kind of was their thing to begin with, Yujin was certain that Richard wouldn't be here when the next set of fireworks rolled around; which was a shame, yet nothing that he wanted to think about tonight - this wasn't about goodbyes after all.

      "I ... I wouldn't say important. It's more like, it's part of the tradition so, I guess I want to show you everything that there is to see. If you don't want to do it, I'll stop asking. I just figured that you might need another push in the right direction.", Yujin admitted, laughing about it, but he'd already grabbed the others hand - the one that hadn't been fucked up at least - and yet, instead of pulling on it, pulling him into one or the other direction, he was just holding it for once, all the while he found himself intertwining their fingers. Whatever it was that would happen tonight, it would be away from this hut, even if the wolf would be a liar to not admit that he, in fact, had enjoyed the warmth within quite a bit more than initially anticipated, as it was quite cozy. "But the choice is yours - I didn't take any precautions, so I have no folded boats on me, just a bit of paper, but pay it no mind if you aren't interested, really." That meant that there was no obligation for Richard to do in the first place, aside from freezing to the ground if they stood around here any longer. Whyever was he so indecisive today? Normally he had no problem with taking the lead, but whatever it was that occupied his mind today stopped him from doing so; it probably was nothing more than his imagination, though. Or was he sad that he had to go home after tonight? "Well, I think the easiest thing to ask would probably be if you even have something you'd like to write on the paper. If not, there's no need to force you.", the wolf explained. Maybe Richard had one after all? Yujin could only chuckle - the thought was funny, kind of, but that was very much it.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I can't imagine you stopping to ask, you asked me the fifth time already.", Richard remarked and Yujin seemed so very happy about the fact that Richard for once didn't answer with a blatant no. Yujin wanted to do that, that much was clear, but the wishes Richard had would ever com true and he felt stupid to ask for it. He wanted his family back, he wanted that the past year didn't happen and if all of that didn't work, he at least wanted his revenge. He was the one that would see that come true however, not a piece of paper that would just drown in the ocean eventually. Additionally he felt stupid to write anything on a piece of paper, hoping that it would come true, Richard was not a child anymore, he turned eighteen just a week ago too, but even before that he already had grown up. Yujin hadn't, he was childish and often enough didn't have a care in the world. It would be their last night together, Richard couldn't stop thinking about it and Yujin had no clue. Maybe Richard should indulge in some stupid little traditions for Yujins sake.

      "I don't want to write something on it, but I can watch you if you want. If there aren't any other people around..." Richard wasn't up for seeing anyone else and even now that they stood here in the snow all alone, it felt odd to hold Yujins hand. Richard was hesitant about it, but he didn't pull away either, he just felt somewhat embarrassed and only saved by the fact that no one saw them right now. It was different in the hut, or a tent, or in bed, Richard felt a little bit exposed right now, too much maybe. He looked at the colored sky that would soon be pitch black. At least there almost never were clouds in Silesse, unless there was a snowstorm. It was either a storm or it was sunny. Tonight it seemed like the moon would be bright enough to lead them back home eventually, like it mostly was. For some reason Richard had to think about the fact that he missed the sound of rain. The calming noise of drops of water hitting wood and stone while he sat at his window and tried to read. Dayan mostly kept him from it though and his brother hated the rain, because it trapped him inside... why was he thinking about that now?

    • Now that he'd uttered that Richard should at least join him, indulge in a stupid silessian tradition that he'd never heard of before, he himself wondered if there was anything he could do - if there was something he'd missed before and if there'd be something to miss soon again - what was he even going to write on that paper? It wasn't like it worked, it was more of food for thought - the paper boat would sail away from Silesse, as long as it could, and then it would be swallowed by waves, never to be seen again, sinking to the ground with whatever wishes it carried. Wasn't that stupid? It felt just like that - but maybe it was for the best, swallowing down all the wishes that one had to offer to it, never to be seen or read by anyone else - and never to be realized. "I wasn't sure if this was the fifth or sixth time, actually. But no, seriously, if you'd rather not I'll stop." Third time's the charm, and yet he'd already gone overboard. Whatever else was there for him to do? Hope that Richard would indulge him because he'd always indulge him as well? That was nothing he was supposed to think of, let alone was the blonde anything like him - they were far from similar, yet they worked remarkably well together. What was Yujin going to wish for, then? That Richard would stay here until the end of time, that this week wouldn't end or that he'd stop forgetting everything all at once, just so that he could savor the memory he'd eventually forget about? All of that was sad - Yujin didn't want that and shook his head instead.

      "So you'll fold one?", he chuckled, knowing that Richard only meant to come along, not to partake in this silly little tradition of theirs and if he was terribly honest, he didn't have to. Whatever made him feel more comfortable was fine, Yujin was wrong for pushing him into one direction because he wanted it - he'd have to accept that Richard wouldn't want to do everything that he liked; it was quite simple like that. "I'm joking. There should be no one around and we have plenty of time until the fireworks start anyway - we should get going, though." And thus, he set forth on their little journey, away from Silesse itself and down a steep snowbank - there were no people around, factually, nobody came out here to set out their boats, even if lanterns were set up, persisting against the cold, crisp air and the frost that crept inward - it was just the two of them and a lone lantern, next to the riverbank, and yet, he still wasn't letting go of Richards hand, as if it belonged to him and him alone, and letting go of it would only lead to something neither of them could use. "Do you want me to show you how you fold one?", the wolf asked soon enough, using his free hand to fumble with the outermost layer of his clothes where he'd tucked the paper away - if he was honest, Richard was right, thrian clothing was stupid, if only for the fact that it lacked pockets; but it was handy as well. "Did you ever fold anything before? Like, a boat, or a crane, or a star ... maybe a flower?" Did Adrestians do silly stuff like that? Yujin didn't know, but he could still ask Richard - maybe there was something, anything, and after all, his father was still as thrian as can be.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Yujin would never stop. He never did, not once, that was the only reason Richard now ended up with him, holding hi hand like that.If he would have stopped when Richard told him to, they never would have spoken a single word to each other. Maybe if he ever would have stopped in the past, Richard would tell him he'd be leaving soon, maybe he'd tell him goodbye, but like this, he'd ask him to stay a hundred times and if that didn't work, probably would come along. Yujin was the most stubborn person Richard ever met, even more so than his brother. What was Richard supposed to do if not go with him, walk to the shore and set a boat afloat for traditions sake? So he followed him down the snowy path, not far from the spot they emerged from when they fell down the cliff on the first day they met. Richard shivered by the thought of it, he never felt colder than in that moment, but he survived it somehow. His coat still was down there somewhere and Yujins boat would probably follow it.

      Once they arrived down there Yujin started to get some paper ready, but he still held Richards hand. "I told you I can't fold anything with only one arm...", he sighed and right now he had none available anyway. The only thing Dayan and him ever made out of paper were stupid paper crowns and that was a long long time ago. "No I didn't.", he answered therefor, but instead of looking at the paper in Yujins had he looked at the water and the reflected nightsky, as well as the ice floating on the surface here and there. Richard couldn't say he was able to concentrate today very well. He felt a little bit nostalgic, maybe even sad. He'd lie if he said he'd not miss Yujin and maybe he felt like folding boats was a waste of their remining time together. Maybe he just didn't like anything new, whatever it was. He sighed silently, trying to muster somewhat of a smile, which was odd for him in iself and then just sat down. "Just fold your boat and I'll watch."

    • Did he say or do something wrong? Yujin wasn't sure and he had to admit that sometimes he wasn't even sure if he was doing the right thing by forcing Richard out of his hell, yet, if he was terribly honest, it was the right thing to do - at least for him. Not only was he trying his utmost to make all of this, every single minute that they shared, much more enjoyable for Richard, but he also was asking himself whatever or not he even had reasons to do that; maybe the blonde would have prefered to be left alone, maybe Yujin shouldn't have deluded himself into thinking that he'd be enough to make him stay after he figured out that Richard wasn't going to spend the rest of his life in Silesse, but whatever it wound up being, it was too late to regret anything now, that much was for certain. "I know, but I offered you mine for help, right?", he metaphorically asked, as if it wasn't almost obvious that both of them would only waste paper and make a mess - folding a paper boat together sounded sillier than ever, but Yujin was the one that wanted Richard to do it with him, not by his lonesome, and it always had been like this. Why was that stuck in his head, though? He still felt kind of beat and he'd be lying if he admitted that his leg wasn't still hurting, despite all the medicine that had cleared it up initially - but his thoughts and memories felt so clear, even though he wanted to blame it on the fresh nightair in the first place.

      "Hm, really? Well, there's no knowing what you do know, I was just curious." Folding paper was really boring, though, but it was useful for whenever Yujin needed to occupy himself or his little sisters with something when the weather outside was just too horrid to even consider leaving the castle - not that it happened often, but a few times was enough to fold what felt like hundreds of paper cranes. "Alright, alright.", the wolf chuckled instead and soon enough got to it, having to figure out the basics with one hand first while he sat down was well, unwilling to really let go of Richards godforsaken arm. The boat came out crooked, if anything, but it still looked like a boat and it wasn't the worst Yujin had ever made, either, which was probably why he folded another, just in case - a significant improval already, though, he had to admit that folding with one hand available had been a shitty idea to begin with. "Something on your mind?", he eventually asked, after Richard was very much staring at the water in the river below and Yujin set both of the boats free that he'd made, watching them swim down the stream, wondering what he'd wished for eventually - all that he had thought about was, that he'd much rather go with Richard, that he'd rather not have him leave whenever that was and that, if none of this would be granted to him, he'd just want to remember him for as long as any normal person would. It wasn't a nice wish - a very selfish one indeed - but Yujin never had to speak of it anyway, lest it wouldn't come true. The waves soon enough swallowed the first, however, and the second was only a tiny speck disappearing into the dark night. "Do you want to push me into the water, for old times sake?", he joked.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I don't have a wish though.", Richard simply replied with a sigh. Even when Yujin said he'd stop, he never truly did - never. And Richard stuck with his plans and ideas, because he always gave in at some point. He had no chance anyway, just like now when he already walked towards the shore with Yujin and the wolf still didn't let go of him for whatever reason. Richard still had no hand he could use right now and Yujin made folding paper that much harder for himself too. Now Yujin was the one with only one hand, trying to figure out how he'd be able to make a boat like that. "You sound surprised. We never celebrated the end of summer, since at this point it would be autumn in Adrestia...", Richard replied. There were almost no Thrian traditions they upheld and if they wouldn't have fled out here Richard probably wouldn't have heard about the becoming of age ritual. He wasn't sure why Nayantai never talked about those traditions, but he also didn't care much. There always had been plenty to do in Adrestia too.

      "Why aren't you letting go of me?", Richard asked while watching Yujin a bit, then he looked back at the waves however. Was he feeling homesick? He never really did before, it was odd how he felt today, but he seemed to notice more about Silesse than usual, or rather what it lacked. He looked at Yujin again, at his colored clothing and the red ribbon in his hair. "Mh... just knowing that it gets colder and darker from here on out isn't the best of things... I miss rain, grass, flowers...", he answered. The firework would have plenty of colors amongst all the white, right? "What did you wish for?", he then asked to change the subject. One boat already drowned, the other ws still floating ahead until it was too far away. "I might, but... that'll just mean no firworks, so maybe not." Were they ready to go now? Yujin said he knew a good spot didn't he? Had Richard been too cold just now? Maybe he should have folded a boat with him after all... He felt sorry for being that stubborn now.

    • "That's fine, don't worry. Sometimes you don't need one, I had to think of one as well.", Yujin admitted, trying to spy even the faintest of hints of his boat in the darkness down the river, but that was very much all he could do - there was nothing to see, not that there had been anything to begin with and it was getting rather late; they should move, not waste time and get cozy here when they could be elsewhere instead, waiting for the fireworks to start. "I might be, but it's more because ... well, Nayantai is from around here, I thought he teached you loads of things about the other side of your heritage as well." That was true, but sometimes it just didn't happen - it wasn't like he or any of his siblings needed to know the adrestian language in the first place and as ignorant as it was, Yujin was convinced that he didn't know a single adrestian tradition that didn't miraculously match up with a thrian one. It was rather sad, but that didn't matter much in the first place. In fact, they both were just trying to figure one another out and that was fine - they had plenty of time, plenty of festivals to learn about and Yujin still had plenty of places he wanted to show Richard, even if most of them would be cold and icy, nothing remarkable, really. "I ... like holding your hand. Did you want me to let go? Just say the word.", he chuckled and if Richard asked, he'd actually let go and stop playing around, trying to get what he wanted for once; not that it mattered much and not that he was doing himself a favor by clinging to what, essentially, was nothing pretty. Why was he clingy like that?

      He wasn't sure of that himself, but he stole a glance at Richard soon enough - he was always complaining about thrian clothing, yet it did fit him very well, at least from his fellow wolfs' perspective - even if it wasn't a perfect fit in terms of size. "I can't show you rain, but we did talk about that one spot I wanted to show you, remember? Where there's grass, probably blooming flowers and some odd berries, if we're lucky. How about I take you there for a change of scenery? Not tonight but, tomorrow is also a day ... or in a week, if you're already tired of me being so close to you for an entire week.", the wolf teased. Who knew? Richard looked like he could use an uneventful change of pace and Yujin wanted to go out some more, cross things off of his list - things he wanted to show Richard for better or for worse - and he remembered that one darn spot that they'd talked about what felt like forever ago! "It won't come true if I tell you, right?" That it wouldn't, based off of the fact that anything he told Richard would probably fall on deaf ears, at least in that regard. Yujin wasn't going to make any attempts tonight, they had plenty of other topics they could talk about and he was sure that Richard grew tired of his constant whining anyway. "Alright, alright. Let's just do it after the fireworks then, how's that sound? We should get going, though." Yujin got up after that, waiting for Richard to do the same and led him to the place he'd had in mind - it was far enough away from the hut and Silesse itself, up a snowbank and somewhat of an icy incline, through some lonesome pine trees, somewhere where they could see all the way to the coast, but high above the rest of them; given that Silesse was mostly flat, there wasn't a lot of these places, but nobody else made the effort to come here, either. "See? I wasn't lying!"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I don't know why he didn't... We almost never visited Thria either, maybe he just wanted to get away as well as Rikiya?", Richard suggested, but he really couldn't know. "Maybe there are just too many Adrestian festivities though... every other week we were invited somewhere else and Nayantai never wanted to go there, while dad was not supposed to... he also wasn't a fan of big crowds though. Dayan was... I guess... whatever." Richard didn't like thinking about all that, especially not now. He felt so close to his revenge and therefor so close to the deaths of almost all in his family that he didn't feel like talking about them. All the festivities and balls seemed stupid in hindsight too, maybe they should have spent their time more useful. Maybe if he had trained more and... no, he stopped himself from going down that path. "No it's fine, it would have been easier to fold your boat with two hands though... I'm not running away only because you let go of my hand for a few minutes." Not tonight at least, tomorrow he would though and he felt bad for lying to Yujin like that.

      "I remember, yes.", Richard nodded and he was surprised Yujin did too, but didn't point it out. Rather than that he bit his lip then nodded, lying again. "Yeah. I'd like to see it, if your father let's you go out ever again... maybe you should lay low for a bit." Didn't Yujin say it would have been a trip for another night out to get there? It wasn't a good idea to vanish once more now anyway. When Yujin was let out of his room again, Richard would be long gone though. For now he followed Yujin though, he wouldn't leave him just yet. "I guess not.", he nodded and still wondered what Yujin had wished for... probably something cheasy, like Richard wouldn't leave ever or something like that. "Do you want to get wet so badly?", Richard asked, wondering why Yujin would offer to be thrown into the waves once more. Richard wasn't nearly as angry as back when Yujin fell off the cliff. He looked forward to the fireworks somehow and he set down as soon as they arrived at the spot Yujin picked for them. They were able to see the lights from the houses in Silesse from there, but it was far enough away to be all alone. "I never said I don't believe you.", Richard reminded Yujin that for a while said nothing. How long until the fireworks started anyway? "I have a present for you... do you want it now, while we wait?"