bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

"I'd like that a lot, I'll just ... I'll figure out something to meet you somehow, alright?" It would have to work, whatever it took - he wanted to be there, especially since Richard had no one but his father and the more the merrier, right? Not only that, however, he also was fairly certain that if he wasn't there then, he couldn't be with Richard at any other point, either. Why did he even have to go back, why did he want to go back? It was unfair, Yujin thought so at least, since he wanted to accompany him, yet, he couldn't even do that - he'd just be dead weight and Richard would injure himself because of him, he took note of that - it was a bad idea all around. A sigh escaped from his lips upon the gut-wrenching realization that, if the blonde wasn't going to come back, that would actually be goodbye - and he loathed the sole idea. "I'll make it work, I promise." He would, somehow, but what exactly? They still had some things ahead of them, actually, Yujin just wanted to show Richard a bunch of things, but showing up at his doorway every single day would probably prove to be a bad idea, given that the blonde wasn't always in the mood, either. "Don't say that! It does!" In the end, maybe it wouldn't matter to any outsider, or somebody that didn't care enough for Richard, but Yujin did - a lot more than he ever should have.

"You better be!", he chastised the blonde, albeit just playfully, not seriously. In truth, there was nothing to be glad about in the first place - something as silly as a tradition could kill Richard and he knew that, especially when he took longer than a single day. Maybe Yujin could help him cheat, but that would hurt his pride and probably anger him instead - even when that was the least that the wolf actually wanted to do. Figuring something out that worked for a half-wolf was most likely a pain. "I figured, but you got along just fine, I liked that. Usually, when I come over, it's kind of gloomy, but it wasn't this time around, which was nice as well. He seems friendly enough, not as hard of a nut to crack as you, though. But I'm glad he likes me, too.", the wolf giggled and Richard couldn't even pretend he was wrong - the blonde always tried to keep himself out of anything and Yujin, who didn't want any of that, always roped him into so many things, it was ridiculous that he only fully gave in now ... or had he done that earlier? Fuck, he couldn't remember, but their trip had kind of helped, hadn't it? "Unfortunately we do, but it's just one way to get upstairs, right?" That it was, and it sounded more adventurous than taking the stairs, if not a bit more dangerous, too. His father would probably scream bloody murder if someone did actually ruin the castle, though. "So that's a yes, huh? After you, then.", he chuckled, as he made way for Richard, grabbed his hand and held it for a while instead. Man, he was embarassing when he didn't quite know what to do with himself.

"I'll make it work, just so you wait!" Not that he could work against his father however, and hearing that Richard wouldn't be mad at him if he wasn't, well, could he blame him? No, Yujin just tried his earnest to be someone he wasn't, tried his hardest to get around all of the loopholes he fell through and he also knew that, whatever happened, he couldn't help himself anyway - he had to stick with the things familiar to him, not with what was actually convenient and not with what he could barely call his own idea. "It is one! Just this once." That it was, even if he wasn't sure if he was able to fulfill it - if he weren't, he'd most likely feel sick to his stomach and lost in some sort of abyss, neverending miasma he couldn't free himself from. It was pain to say the least and Yujin knew that Richard was the one that deserved more than something like baseless hope, empty promises or anything of that sort - and yet he wasn't sure if he could offer him anything like that. "I'm not worried, I just want you to feel well, and I want you to know that I'm there for you for as long as you need me, you hear that? Even if I forget stuff, I'm always there for you, whatever you need me or not!" That sounded a lot sadder than he intended it to be, but it was the truth, and another truth was, that he couldn't always be there for the blonde.

"I'm pretty sure that ... uh ..." There it was again, the realization that something he thought he had a grasp on was just gone, completely wiped out, not within his grasp any longer - fuck, he hated that! Whyever that happened to him, he didn't know, but the two days he was out there with Richard, his head had kind of cleared up, hadn't it? Sure, he woke up with a slight headache on the third, but it went away as soon ... as soon as he did what? He couldn't even recall that, damnit! "It was within the first day, probably quite a while, though. It was pretty dark when I finally came home, that's what I remember." And nothing else, it all had just disappeared from his mind. Had he even ruined his clothes with fox blood? No, they were ... just fine, weren't they? Something told him that there just was something completely wrong with the entire situation he tried to recall. "But you do get along better than when I met you first, right?" Yujin didn't know much, but he was fairly convinced he'd never seen the blonde in high spirits around his dad, not up until now and that was somehow, something really nice, especially since the two of them seemed to get along very well for the entire evening. "No, he looks scary, but I think that's just how you'd perceive him on first glance. It's like, meeting the biggest, meanest looking wolf and then it acts a bit like a puppy." An actual wolf, that was, but Nayantai had seemed excited to talk about all of this - and he didn't stop talking, especially not when Yujin added fuel to the fire with more and more questions. This had been silly, but very needed, for all of them. "Yes, I'm very sure." Or was he? Yujin instead watched Richard get in, before he followed suit and he was sure that he should have agreed to be pulled in with the rope, but he managed to get back inside just fine! Once he stood there, however, he did pull on the rope to get it back inside, only to jokingly and losely wrap the end of it around Richards wrists. "See? I got in just fine."

Could he even truly leave the blonde alone? It seemed as if, if he actually did, he'd just more and more reckless stuff and never what he actually intended to - it was stupid to say the least and Yujin knew that, but he was fairly aware that no matter what he put his mind to, he'd not even realize that he'd become too clingy, too fast, and that all he could do about that was out of his grasp anyway. What would he do if Richard disappeared? Hope for the day of his return? He liked to be optimistic, yes, but what he didn't like was lying to himself, swindling himself into believing that one day, everything would be the same again - just fine again - but his thoughts were running rampant instead. He'd have to make them count, all those shots that consisted of nothing but him admitting that whatever it was that he honest to god tried to make his own weren't as worse as he thought them to be, but maybe he was just wrong about all of that in general. Did Richard even care? "No need to be, it's good to force my brain to remember stuff I'd have buried otherwise anyway.", he admitted, and he knew that. Why, of all things, would he even care if something went awry? It seemed silly, yet, he also was fairly aware that nothing that he actually denied would come to fruition in the first place. Forcing himself to do things was ... good.

"That's good to hear.", he admitted, his trusty little rope still tied around Richards wrist, even though he was only holding it in place and if anything, Richard could just get out of it whenever he had the urge to pull his hands back, but he didn't, which Yujin - admittedly - liked quite a bit. Usually skittish and easy to anger, it felt as if this, right here and right now, was just a good time they were having and there was nothing important going on in the first place, not here, not now, not anytime soon. "No puppy? What then?", he mused instead, but he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to keep talking about the blondes father, instead, he derailed the question. "What even are you, then?", he wanted to know and he was sure that there had to be a suitable, non-scary answer. Maybe Richard was the puppy, lost and stuck in his own dreamworld, but Yujin doubted it - Richard seemed to be more of a cat person anyway, but ... he also seemed more like a kitten with sharp nails to begin with, much more than a lost puppy. "Isn't that good?", Yujin replied, his tone hushed, as he closed the window behind them to lock out the rest of the world and before he leaned closer to Richard, actually pulled on his makeshift rope, just to get him a bit closer and rid himself of the distance between them. If he could, he figured, he'd press him against a wall, but instead, he just gave him a kiss - not as wanton and messy as usual, more of ... the adrestian way, as Richard had called it, didn't he?

"Often enough, but the further it gets away, the blurrier the details become. I can't get you out of my head anyway." That he couldn't, but there were many things that found no place in his head either way and Yujin knew that, without much of a doubt, he was still trying his earnest to be someone he couldn't be for Richard - no matter what he'd do from here on out, he was stuck in a perpetual limbo of always trying the same, of always urging himself to keep track of things, but ... it was silly, wasn't it. "Are you sure? Whenever I touch you the right way, that sounds quite different.", Yujin chuckled, but he knew that he was merely teasing Richard right now - they were in love, yet neither of them spoke it aloud, didn't dare to, almost as if they were going to be touching hot iron with bare hands and would soon realize that no matter what, they were indirectly dooming themselves by admitting to their feelings and speaking things aloud that were, if anything, better not even talked about. It was silly, if not painful, to say the least and he was, albeit fairly sure of what he knew, quite lost in his own miasma as well. What else was there worth hoping for. "You don't know? You seem like a feral cat, all skittish and angry on the outside, but loving and sweet on the inside." Was he a cat, though? Maybe, but his shadow was larger, loomed over him, only to reveal that he actually wasn't all that bad.

"A fox? No, I'm not quite as good as lying as folklore tells they are." And that they were - masters of deceit, actually - but Yujin was none of that, actually. His father, on the other hand, probably fit the bill much better than Yujin ever would and he found that Richard wasn't wrong, not even slightly. "A kitten? That sure is one way to look at it." Was he one, though? Probably, much like a kitten, he was never far from his parents either and whenever he got too far away, got lost, he felt like the world was going to come crashing down on him and he was doomed to die, freeze to death alone, while he was perfectly fine in theory. It was a pain, but Richard was right with his guess and even so, Yujin wouldn't quite want to admit it. "Good thing I found someone to bring me back home and keep me company, then.", he retaliated, not that it was much of a counter-argument in the first place, but it was something to begin with. Silence was all there was soon after, aside from the fact that Richard kissed him back and once he found himself ever so slightly shoved, he gasped in surprise as he found the window at his back. How mean of Richard, wasn't it? Yujin wanted more, yet didn't kiss back and he finally let go of the rope he'd held onto as well. He grabbed the hem of one of Richards layers, or maybe two, and pulled him closer, not forcibly, but close enough to find warm breath hitting him soon enough. "Maybe I was wrong about you being a feral cat, you seem more like a starving wolf at times.", he whispered into the blondes ear. They could hide from the world for now, especially if the blonde wanted it, but he was fairly sure there were other things they could do as well.

It was hard to do anything much when he spend most of his time just trying to remember Richard, much like how he was trying to figure out what to do with his feelings for the blonde, which, at some point, had felt more than borderline sinful. There wasn't much he could do, much like there weren't many things for him to figure out in the first place, but Yujin always got by many things and with many things, he oddly just meant the blonde himself - sometimes, he was hard to read and yet, at other times, the wolf seemingly had figured him out before he knew what he wanted himself. Given, it was odd to even think about it and consider there circumstances, but even worse, he couldn't help himself and only figured that, no matter what it was that gave him a plethora of ideas, many headaches alike and quite a few questions he couldn't answer, he also realized that - no matter what he tried - he'd find himself swallowed whole, not only by Richard but the world around him, especially when the blonde wasn't going to do it first and foremost. "I know. And also, you don't even hate me. It's more appropriate to tell you that, I love you, too.", he chuckled instead and while that did seem like a forlorn love confession, Yujin was sure that he'd done something akin to that plenty of times and it didn't even matter that he did, right now, or anythime ever again. "Much like I don't know what a pomegranate looks like, at least you think that."

But did he know what a feral cat was? No, given, his father had one, but it wasn't feral to begin with - though, Richard acted just like any feral animal would and could and maybe that was why he was so hellbent on declaring him one, especially since he rarely accepted pats from anyone and if he did, he sometimes did bite the hand that fed him. "That is ... true. Losing myself in you is easy, easier than it should be, but I don't mind." Damnit, Yujin had fallen head over heels for Richard, which was something he didn't realize just now and he was fairly convinced that, whatever it was that would plague him after the fact, it wouldn't be the first or the last thing to do so. Often enough, it only needed a bunch of silly little things to distract him, and Richards whole existence was - albeit not silly - enough to do that for him. The kisses felt good, so good that - for just a moment - he shivered in anticipation, something that he'd wanted for a while now, without even considering it seriously, and Yujin was painfully sure that it would be outrageously hard to turn Richard down, not that he wanted to do that to begin with. "So, you're suggesting I stand in for that?", he crooned instead, knowing that it definitely had to be something along those lines - and how hard could it be, really? The wolf found his way back onto the window sill, someplace he rarely was even at, but it wasn't too bad, he liked it - he liked it when Richard was demanding of him, as well. "No, it's just fine.", he mumbled, as he let go of Richards clothing - he found himself trapped against a window, with no idea where to put his hands, but he pressed his face against the arm that the blonde had pressed against the window just earlier, nuzzling up to it. "I can't believe the big bad wolf cares about what his dinner feels like."

That's what he got for being an idiot - Yujin should have seen it coming, yet, he ignored it in favor of fulfilling his own, quite selfish desires of confessing to Richard, which meant the blonde wouldn't even want to hear it. Could he wolf blame him? Not in the slightest, they probably had agreed on not falling for each other, or at least not outright stating they had, to keep it as loveless as physically and emotionally possible - he'd fucked up by taking a chance he never should have taken and he was fairly convinced that Richard hated him now, more than anything. For crying out loud, he was the one that felt like tearing up for a second when the blonde stopped and just running his mouth once more, apologizing for the nonsense he'd just babbled and getting the blonde out of the door - and still, that was just plain rude, which was why he didn't do it and sat there in silence, alongside the blonde, who wasn't even sure what he was supposed to do right now. "Sorry, I'll zip my mouth. I just wanted to tease you.", he quickly lied, not knowing if that made it any better, but he'd have liked a hug and some sort of reassurance that this would get better from here on out - it felt like a fever dream if he only thought about it, no way in hell this would become reality.

"Are you? I raise you a counter-argument: I'm sure you've never tasted one, either.", Yujin teased, this time for real, and while he couldn't quite tell, he wasn't sure if pomegranates even grew in adrestian lands - weren't the more of a fruit from the southlands? Who knew, he didn't, but he was sure to have read about it at some point and thrian myths like to talk about it like some sort of holy thing, too. "Not like a hungry wolf is much better." And that he wasn't, but the two of them were kind of a match made in hell, Yujin had noticed that a while ago, all the while he kept noticing it over and over again, but that was very much it. "What do you think that I think, then?" While the wolf had plenty of things in mine, he wasn't exactly thinking he'd be eaten alive, or fucked against the window - Richard could have chosen a more comfortable position for that, since this one would have just meant he had to hold his own and Yujins weight at some point, which made no sense. "And yet it isn't false, huh?", the wolf teased once more. He didn't mind, after all, Richard had complained about not being able to be on the receiving end when it came to softer things and Yujin, of all people, wouldn't force him to - in fact, he quite liked it like this. A shiver ran all the way from his leg up to his spine as soon as the blonde had exposed parts of him and he was touching him - this was more than fine, really. "You may repay you debt, unless you want to keep accumulating more. I wouldn't mind that." Yujin would forget, but it was good that the blonde was at least honest about one thing. Still, he felt like being selfish tonight. "One more thing, though. Your kitten demands more kisses."

"Do you want to shut me up, then?", the wolf suggested, knowingly, and in truth, he wouldn't mind. Richard was by far the best person he knew, not only from a sexual standpoint, but also because he often enough seemed to be fun to tease. Still, that wasn't what Yujin was out to do tonight - he'd already gotten his hands onto him, just for tonight, and he'd already spend enough time with him, loving and cherishing all that he was, so it only served him right to be at the receiving end this time, even when he least anticipated it. Was this all there was, though? The wolf doubted it somewhat and even if he had to admit that he couldn't always stick to the things he was used to, the wind of change that Richard brought with him was nice as well - it was something different, if only for the current moment and Yujin was fairly sure that, no matter what it was that he did, he only stuck around for so long because it had been the right thing. Yet, there was no way for the wolf to make him comfortable enough to stay where he was, to keep him with him and away from home - essentially, Richard wasn't even stuck here and Yujin wasn't sure if he should be more sad or mad about believing that there was something like love in the first place. But ... Richard loved him, somehow, right?

"No?", Yujin whispered, kind of surprised. He wasn't hard to read, at least he didn't think so - he was quite ... easy, in fact, and even if his opinions changed every now and then, nothing was quite as bad as hearing that, maybe, he wasn't even who he believed himself to be. Did that hurt? He had no time to think about that, not when Richard was trying to make him feel quite good to begin with and kept him in check, even when he tried to just inch away from all the warmth and kisses he received - he sad on an icy wall, back pressed against a cold window - and Richard was between his legs, he wasn't going to get away from him and telling him that he didn't want this anymore, that his heart wasn't pounding against his ribcage in anticipation, would be a straight up lie! "N-no, just let me talk a bit of nonsense.", he admitted, even though he wasn't sure if he couldn't have much prefered an answer instead of silence. The only thing he really was hearing were the little noises that Richard was making while getting closer and closer, and his own, almost silent whimpers whenever the blonde found a new spot - and it got even worse when he actually got to it. Yujin tensed up for a second, air got stuck in his lungs and he was sure he had nothing to hold onto for real - all he could do was wrap his second leg around the blonde and hide him, mostly behind a bunch of fabric that losely dangled from his body. His own hands searched for support from his own clothes and a relieved sigh escaped his lips. "Keep going ...", he murmured, almost as if Richard was going to stop if he didn't, but he very much would like that!

What else could he want? Yujin struggled to think of anything else he might have potentially wanted, couldn't even make out what it was that maybe incited him to seek out somebody else after Richard was gone - he wanted these to be happy thoughts, he wanted himself to be happy, as much as he wanted Richard to be happy, but as things were right now, none of this was going to happen and nothing else would come for them - one day, the blonde would be gone, maybe in a puff of smoke, maybe in just a natural way, but alas, whatever happened, he'd not be in a tangible form anymore. For crying out loud, Yujin didn't want that, he had no idea what to do with himself and with this situation, but he'd come to accept that it was hardly worth anything - that he hardly could put his feelings aside and decide that, no matter what it was that he did, it wasn't quite worth it just yet. Instead, Richard seemed to be eager to care for him, to take care of him and he also seemed like he enjoyed his presence, very much at that, it only for the time being. Why was it like this? Had he asked for this before, or was it all just happening now? Yujin knew no suitable answer for why the world came crushing down on him, but that was, in fact, nothing his thoughts should be occupied by - Richard would come back, eventually, somehow. Right? "That's just unfair."

What was he even worrying about? In the end, he was thinking too fast, too far and it all came boiling down to the fact that he - once more - didn't know if he should cry or not. There barely was anything that happened the last few months and the wind wouldn't whisk Richard away overnight, Yujin believed he had the decency to just say his goodbyes when they were due, but he most certainly hoped that wouldn't be until late into the next year, or maybe never. Still, that didn't matter much, not when he had the man of his literal dreams - even if that sounded a bit uncanny - between his legs, feeling him up, making him feel exceptionally and the truth was, he enjoyed every little bit of it, he liked it as much as anyone would, but this was special instead. Every little thing that Richard did was enough to stir up a reaction in Yujin, one he begrudgingly held back and it made him feel good, good enough to search for support elsewhere for a second, only to not find it and even worse, his legs pulled Richard in just ever so slightly more with every move the blonde made - Yujin didn't know if he had space to breathe, but he hoped for him to, lest he'd be the only one enjoying all of those soft touches in the first place. "It really ... is ... you really are ...", he huffed. It was enough to make him feel like burning, to make warmth spread all over him from any spot Richard touched, whatever it was his lips, his tongue, or his hands and the wolf didn't want to rush anything, despite the growing urge to just grab a fistful of hair and force his fellow wolf to do his bidding - Yujin didn't want that, he felt content with what he had, especially as he started panting and wasn't so sure where to look for support anymore. "You're ... really ... testing me ... today."