sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

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    • Caelan didn't care putting effort into things, even though his father always complained Caelan was lazy, he wasn't, just not interested in what his father wanted him to do. He wasn't at all what his father wanted him to be and what he did with Ronan here just proved that he never was or would be a good son, instead he broke every rule their was and his father had been right all along. But how could something like this be wrong? How could it be wrong when it felt so right and felt like all Caelan ever wanted? Why was this not okay, when the time he spent with girls just exhausted him and didn't feel good? Why would he force himself to be someone else, when he exactly knew what made him happy? It was dangerous, yes, but Caelan didn't want to stop being close to Ronan and out here no one would know anyway, right?

      "Still, I liked doing it, I... you know.. like you a lot, so I wanted to be nice to you...", he said kind of embarrassed, though he had slept with so many girls, he didn't really know how to act in a relationship... or whatever this was. He didn't know what he could do or say, but he pretty much rolled with whatever he felt like, like he always did. After all they should love each other how they were and not make themselves any different, to have everything perfect. "I would have lost my mind if it took you any longer, I thought mqaybe something happened to you...", Caelan mumbled and as soon as Ronan sat down, Caelan did too, directly behind him, wrapping his arms around him and placing his chin on his shoulder. "I'm spoiling us both... I like holding you.", he chuckled, placing a kiss on Ronans cheek and pointing on the plates afterwards. "Take whatever you want... and because I'm busy holding you, you have to feed me too!"

    • Contrary to his initial belief, this was more than comfortable and having Caelan sit down with him was also a nice change of pace. They didn't have to worry about anything, not out here, so far away from a lot of people that probably had no idea this place even existed - and that was, theoretically, not even that bad. This way, they had more silence to enjoy, just like they'd do once they'd make their way for the hutch and as honest as Ronan was trying to be to himself as well as the blonde that held him by now, they both knew that at some point they'd have to lie to the others about all this stuff that they were doing, about why they seemingly disappeared together, even if they were leaving apart from one another. At some point, somebody would catch on, but until then, Ronan enjoyed the warm embrace he was given and rather focused on his lover than anything else - this was the best thing that could have happened and yet, he was doubting if all of this was reality, if it was possible for him to even realize this as the truth. Why did it sound so outlandish that he had found someone he could love, that actually loved him back?

      "You're already so nice to me, I almost feel bad, you know?", Ronan sighed, wanted to hide his embarrassment with his hands, but it was near impossible to actually do that when all his hands wanted to do were tease the blonde and also, maybe, grab some of the food he had prepared. His hand reached for the biscuits instead, just to feign interest in them and instead changed direction to what Caelan had prepared. He truly was hellbent on preparing food for him and making him enjoy this, wasn't he? "I'm not that easy to kill, you know? But I'm fine, thanks for your concern. I feel bad for taking so long, I truly do." Ronan was sure he had gotten out on time if they wouldn't have struck up more and more conversations between themselves and just cut out the young heir - the only thing that was good about this scenario was that, if Darragh heard of it, he'd be sure to not punish his son but maybe the nobles that had just not shown any interest in him. "Then we are both spoiled brats, huh?", Ronan concluded for himself, rather than for the two of them, before his hands reached for a piece of meat that he - albeit a bit unwillingly - offered the blonde while he used another hand to shove another piece into his mouth. "Whatever you say, darling", he chimed, leaning back a bit so that Caelan would be the one who had to endure his weight. "Were you lonely?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "You don't need to feel bad, I like doing it and I don't ask for anything in return.", Caelan smiled giving Ronan another kiss. It was actually fun to prepare all this and also to see Ronans face when he showed him. He was only glad Ronan liked it and it wasn't too much or too cheesy. The idea was rather spontaneous, he just had it when grabbing the food and thought why they couldn't eat somehow fancy out here as well. Caelan was maybe a little bit too romantic for the time they knew each other, maybe he was too rash again but Ronan seemed to be happy about it after all. That most of that stuff more or less was stolen didn't bother either of them as it seemed. "You probably aren't and yet I was worried about you. I would even be if you were the strongest man on earth.", Caelan grinned, only glad that nothing bad had happened in the end and Ronan was here now. "You don't have to feel bad, we didn't loose any time, we had slept here anyway and tomorrow we can take as much time as we want as well, as long as we are together."

      "Our parents are powerful and rich, so of course we are spoiled, no?", he joked wrapping his arms tighter around his lover, he never wanted to let go again. He was glad Ronan was here and he could hold him in his arms finally, he wished they could just ran off, live together somewhere where nobody cared. The more he anticipated the time together the more he feared leaving Ronan again, going back to Fhaergus while Ronan went back to Alster, huge mountains separating them from one another. He didn't want to think about it before the time to say goodbye even came, so he shook these thoughts off and instead opened his mouth to grab the piece of meat with his teeth and eat it. Ronan leaned back and Caelan made himself more comfortable, letting him use him as he wished, cuddling leaning on him, whatever he wanted... He pressed his cheek against Ronans neck. "Yes... yes I was. I guess you have to care about that...", he acted all sad, though in actuality Ronan looked tired enough and Caelan felt good, just because he was here.

    • "I'll take you by your word", he hummed, very much contend with that he had gotten - one couldn't want more than to have someone like the blonde being thoughtful and loving, right? Wasn't this exactly what so many girls were dreaming of? Caelan of Fhaergus, doing whatever they desired and so much more, for the small price of their earnest love and some heartfelt words once in a while? And now he sat here, as a man, embraced by said noble and held tight, as if too much pressure could tear him apart and as if too much pain would cause him to lose balance and fall apart. Ronan was one of the lucky ones, if not the luckiest person to be alive - maybe there was no gods, no fate - only luck, which hadn't been fun of him up until now. "That's very sweet of you. But trust me, even if I take longer than promised, I'll find my way to you eventually", a faint smile had crept unto his lips, but from here, Caelan probably couldn't see, which was fine enough for him - he grabbed another piece of meat and offered it to his lover and ate one himself. "That sounds delightful. Though, I probably should make this up to you, still. You waited for quite some time - would you like a reward?" Wasn't Caelan still a puppy anyway?

      "Truth be told, you're right but sometimes I wish you weren't", he giggled, cuddling closer to Caelan. He was right, their parents were both ruling over an entire country, were in direct contact with the king - well, usually - and they had so much more than just a bit of power or a bit of land that they were governing. So, of course it would make sense for their kids to be spoiled brats, just like Declan was. "Though, I suppose being spoiled by your lover is something else than being spoiled by your parents, no?" Even if Caelan said he wanted nothing in return and even if Ronan would try his earnest, he'd still feel bad - even if he offered the blonde all of the meat and some of the vegetables on their plate, from which he picked anyway to feed them both, it wouldn't be enough, just like a few shorts kisses wouldn't suffice. A slight yelp escaped his lips as Caelans skin touched his, his neck of all places, and only then he realized that it wasn't something he had to be afraid of. "I was lonely too, so ... yes, I just wanna make sure you're fine too!", he spouted, then huddled a bit closer to Caelan. "I don't want you to go home and we aren't even at the hutch."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Yeah? I can always count on you to come back?", Caelan asked, giving Ronan another kiss on the cheek. Maybe he should stop that, maybe he should just let him eat first and afterwards there was enough time for cuddles and kisses, but did Ronan even mind? Caelan never felt like this, he never had felt the need to be at someones sides, the urge to kiss that someone and touch him and now it seemed like his mind wasn't occupied by anything else, Ronan was driving out all other thoughts not related to him. It felt good, but also strange and somewhat scary, especially because they both could loose their heads for doing something like this, for committing to each other. Caelan did not worry too much though, his mind seemed clouded enough to just ignore it and he took another piece of meat in his mouth to chew and swallow it. "I like to see this cabin of yours and be alone, without worrying too much, but I don't mind if it takes us longer, really. As long as I don't have to wait for you anymore. You don't have to please me today either, you had a rough day, so... if we go to sleep right after eating, that's totally fine by me."

      "I'm always right!", he proclaimed, tightening his hug for just a second, while Ronan came closer himself. Caelan sometimes felt bad for complaining, after all he couldn't say he had a hard life. He never had to work, he never had to starve, so yes he was spoiled and not the only one whoms father didn't like him. "Well you're right, but you should get used to being spoiled, because I very much like to spoil you.", Caelan smiled. Ronan shouldn't worry too much about what he did there, after all he had the time anyway and the smile on his face was reward enough for all that work. "I'm fine, don't worry. Now that you're here.", he hummed and noticed how cheesy they both had gotten. He was used to sweettalk girls but this was different, he really meant it and the words he picked somehow felt weird if he thought about it. "I know how you feel... I don't want this week or two off to end... but we'll figure it out. First however we should enjoy ourselves a little bit, we can worry later." It was funny, because Caelan didn't feel lonely when he actually was alone, now he had Ronan and a minute apart from him made his heart ache.

    • "I wouldn't want to be apart from you either way, so yes, yes you can", the young noble responded, knowing well enought that there would be a time when this promise wouldn't hold true. At some point, they had to say goodbye to one another, but until that happened, he should stop caring and instead focus his attention on other, more important things - on the kiss that he got, on the love that made his heart swell with more than pride and made it beat so fast, it felt almost as if were impossible to keep it locked away in his chest. They both were constantly in danger of being found out, but the hutch was not a place that a lot of people visited - aside from his father, maybe a few wolves and that was pretty much about it - he had curtains he could use to drown out nosy strangers as well as the sun and moonlight if he needed to. "Mh, no. Don't you deserve a reward? Do you think you really can wait until tomorrow night? Or even later?" They both were so desperate for one anothers attention, their bodies could - most likely, at least - also use some love and care, no? "Just because my day was rough doesn't mean you had a better one, either!"

      "And no, you're not always right!", Ronan complained. It was impossible, especially for someone like Caelan, to be always right, as well as it was impossible for himself to be equally always right. Ronan knew, well enough, that there was no right answer anyway, just wrong answers and neutral answers that, maybe, could be right - right? "Oh? I almost feel bad for having to tell you that I want you to read a book when we're in that hutch of mine, but I'm sure you'll survive and it'll help you still your curiousity", and for that, he'd have to crawl down into the cold and wet basement, but naturally, he didn't mind all that much. There was worse and Ronan was, in fact, keen on teaching Caelan whatever he wanted to hear. "Just because of me?", he asked once again and couldn't really believe it himself. Try as one might, but they had gotten so attached to one another in such a short time, it almost felt surreal and weird. "Enjoying ourselves sounds great, you know", the young noble said, leaned bad just a bit more and then brought up one of those hands gently holding him before he pressed a soft kiss onto the back of it. Not wanting them both to hunger, he reached for some vegetables and offered Caelan some as well, while slowly chewing on his own. "It'll be fun when we're at the cabin, trust me."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "That makes me happy...", Caelan hummed and he didn't want to be the one bringing up Ronans father again and what he told him about him, but he hoped Ronan was aware, that he could and should always come to him, to Fhaergus if he needed it. After all, as long at it wasn't winter it wasn't far from the Alster mansion to Caelans home. Maybe this winter Caelan would just not stay at home and instead stay with Ronan in Alster. If he wasn't welcomed in his home, maybe Ronan could hide him away in the hut and visit him, but until that they had a long time, it was spring after all, Caelans life of seclusion just had ended. "I think my day wasn't that bad, aside from the waiting...", Caelan purred and poked Ronan with his nose, as long as he had been occupied, the waiting wasn't that bad either. The ride over here was fine too. "But I'm curious what you have in mind...", he whispered softly, pressing a kiss on Ronans cheek. If he wanted to reward him, Caelan would certainly not stop him, he just didn't need to necessarily.

      "You know, I am able to read. You sound like me with a book is something strange!", he complained. Given, he didn't read often, but he could sit down and read a book if he wanted. Sometimes he even took one with him to the mountains, in case just staring at nature got boring at some point. Though he could of better things while with Ronan, after all they could do something together, but he was able to put one and one together and was pretty sure, Ronan talked about those books and they seemed interesting enough. Caelan looked at Ronan from the side, let him kiss his hand and afterwards picked a vegetable from his hand. "The sooner we wake up tomorrow, the sooner we will be there, are you prepared for that?", Caelan asked with a small chuckle, Ronan seemed to hate mornings. "You can continue sleeping on your horse maybe."

    • "I wouldn't want it any other way", he said, meaning it just like that - didn't he? He'd come running to the blonde, whenever he wanted to, even if that meant crossing one of the mountains to Fhaergus in winter, probably killing himself in the process, but the thought of being alone forced him to have such stupid thoughts - Ronan never wanted to be alone again, unloved, uncherished - all he wanted was to be in Caelans arms, was to be held tight and nothing else. He knew that it was selfish enought to want so much from his lover, selfish enough to admit that he wouldn't be able to live without him already, but what was this, if not love? Was he sick, maybe even desperate enough to want to be loved forevermore, or was this just what humans sought? "I'm glad to hear that and I'm sorry I had you wait, I truly am", the noble sighed, still feeling bad about leaving his puppy unattended for so long. But who could blame him? He only wanted him to feel good and not like his master had disappeared within the woods to never return again - or even worse, ditched him because of fear. "Of course you do. Though, I'm afraid that the woods aren't really a good place for that - we'd also need an actual bed", which the hutch had, did it not?

      His mood lightened up upon feeling the kiss, felt a bit better and handed his fellow noble another vegetable to eat - he couldn't kiss him all that well from here, but they both knew that much as well as Ronan knew that he liked to be warm, which was essentially why he wasn't struggling for freedom within Caelans grip - why he wasn't trying to get out, run away and blame it all on the heat of the moment. "It is strange to picture you with a book in your hand, you know? I'm not saying you're illiterate, I'm just thinking that you won't read stuff unless you absolutely have to!" They both were such different people, yet fundamentally the same and try as one might, they both seemed to know much more about the other than anyone else did - than somebody that claimed to actually know them did, while they also knew almost nothing about one another. "I just have trouble waking up, I don't mind getting up that early. It's not about how much sleep I get, trust me. Sometimes my inner clock doesn't work and nobody bothers waking me up and suddenly I've slept for a whole day because I couldn't wake myself up whenever I tried. I don't benefit from that at all", Ronan explained and then shoved a piece of meat into his own mouth, offering Caelan one as well. "Should I do that, I will fall off my horse and break my neck."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Please, stop apologizing already!", Caelan laughed, pinching Ronan in the side, because he didn't want to stop with that. "You didn't mean to, it's not your fault!" Ronan didn't stall and he didn't forget about Caelan waiting for in, he even rode here in the middle of the night, though he could have just stayed at the event after the sun was setting already, but he came here to keep his promise and meet up with Caelan. Now they sat here, alone, but with only just leaves protecting them from any unwanted eyes. However, nobody was here and as soon as the fire went out, nobody would find this place probably. No one would accidentally stumble over them in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. "So no reward after all... why have you kept asking me about it then if I have to wait anyway!", Caelan asked grinning, Ronan got him so far that he wanted to know and wanted to get something and now he told him it'll be later in his little cabin. How mean!

      "I mean... you're not wrong I guess. I just find many many other things more interesting usually, so I do that instead of reading.", he said, admitting that he didn't have a book in his hands very often, but maybe whatever Ronan wanted him to read wasn't that bad, though he would need to sit still for a while... "You know... you could read it to me, while I do something useful. What about that?", he expressed the idea just popping into his head. He could chop would or prepare the food while just listening, at least he could do something with his hands in the meantime. "Alright, then I'll just wake you and if you don't want to wake up, I'll shove you on my own horse and take care about you not falling off!" Caelan actually planned to get going very very soon, after all the sooner they left, the farther they got and the quicker they'd arrive at their destination to finally be alone. Caelans inner clock worked pretty well, if he set his mind to waking up early tomorrow, his body would do the rest and wake up at an appropriate time.

    • "Alright, alright! I will!", Ronan yelled, shifted - the pinch in his side didn't feel all that comforting, but he had it coming, didn't he? "I know but I still feel sorry! Fuck, sorr- no, fuck." Now he was the one that was tonguetied, jumbling from word to word and letting go of another sigh as Caelan was probably already rambling on about something. Ronan was, in fact, very much aware that this was all a mess that they shouldn't even be apart of - and yet they were, were the very cause of said mess, hidden in the woods next to a lake with nothing but the moon and the stars and the animals as their sole witness to the crimes against human nature that they would be about to commit. All in all, he was unsure if this was truly a crime or if he was just imagining things - if, in reality, he was nothing more than a desperate man, picked down to his bone, yearning for what nobody was willing to give him. "I like teasing you and also, I can kiss you or suck you off again if you accept that has a reward. I also, theoretically, have two hands, you know?" And with that, he offered the blonde a few more vegetables - their plate was almost empty, thankfully.

      "And you're just lazy, so get your ass up and read a book for once!" He had no ground to stand on, yet he tried to chastise his lover for such simple things, simply because Caelan had let them happen. All in all, he looked like someone that neglected his studies when someone didn't see to it that he completed them and in reality it probably was just like that - but he was in no position to be a pain in the neck for him, especially since he himself wouldn't go outside if he didn't absolutely had to. "Reading is useful. Also, you might want to read it yourself so you get a vague idea of what I want you to do - of course, I can show you after that but be aware that you should at least skim over the books", Ronan sighed, cuddling up to Caelan and finally letting go of the food - he wasn't full, actually pretty far from it, but as he twisted and turned in Caelans arms, he finally found a way to kiss him on the lips, even if the position wasn't all that comfortable. "As long as you take my horse with you as well, you might as well let me ride on your horse alongside you. That way, I can't get cold and you can keep your arms busy, how does that sound?" Ronan was tired, yes, but he definitely didn't want to sleep right now - what a pain. "So, what now?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan laughed while Ronan tried to apologize for apologizing without apologizing which was an unsolvable problem. This time he would let him off the hook, since he was so cute anyway. Caelan wasn't keen on disturbing or annoying him all the time, sometimes he probably had to let him do whatever he wanted to, so he didn't get sick of Caelan too fast. A comfortable makeshift bed and some candles wouldn't fix everything in the long run. "If you're always telling me what you are going to do, it's only half as fun...", he said, slowly kissing Ronans neck once more and wondering what was going on in that head of his. Do you always plan everything in advance?" After all Caelan himself just did what felt right in the moment, without previously thinking too much about his options and even if he planned on doing something, if it was unfitting he just left it be.

      "The problem is, that I don't get to move my ass while reading!", Caelan complained, he wanted to move, run around, do something, anything but not just focusing on some letters. Though the books sounded intriguing enough, these special ones at least in which Caelan would find things he never could have imagined. "So I have to study and then there is some kind of... practical test?", Caelan asked chuckling, wondering what this all was about, maybe the books would keep him concentrated after all. Ronan moved meanwhile, twisting and turning until his lips found their way to Caelans. "What if someone sees us, would that be a problem?", Caelan asked and though it was a joke, he might actually put Ronan on his horse and ride with him, having him close and feeling his body in his arms... that sounded actually nice. Caelan moved now, to the side and one arm at Ronans back to support him, while he let him slowly down on to the soft moss under them, leaning over him and kissing him. "I don't know... do you want to go swim...?", he asked, initially he didn't want to let go of Ronan again, but on the other hand they had a reason to undress though... no Ronan was probably cold already. "Are you still cold?", he asked, thinking about a solution already.

    • Dealing with Caelan seemed like an impossible task - mainly, because Caelan was not only a charming ball of sunshine, but also because he made him feel bad for things without even meaning to and now Ronan felt bad for apologizing. Wasn't all this happening because he'd never felt like this before, because it was so weird and new to him despite being exactly what he had wanted, what he had read about anyway? The candles flickered and illuminated their bodies, gave them more shadows than necessary, whereas the moonlight was barely able to find its way through the slowly growing leaves on all those trees already. Once summer would invite itself into Lavern, this forest would be darker than the bottom of a well - the leaves would be too thick to let any light shine through and this place itself would become even more enjoyable than it was already. "So you want me to keep my secrets? Alright then, but don't be disappointed", he chuckled, letting Caelan do as he pleased. An electric shock - thats what it felt like - coursed through his body for a second, just where Caelans lips had met his skin. "Sometimes, not always. But as if you haven't planned all of his in advance, or at least parts of it!"

      Some things were better left unanswered and yet Ronan couldn't help himself as the faint smile on his lips got more visible. "You don't have to sit while you're reading! You can still walk around!" Not, that he did it and not that it was solid advice; Caelan would most certainly run into something, maybe it was just a chair or the bedpost, but what if he actually fell over something more ... dangerous? Ronan shook his head - these thoughts shouldn't be here. "Practical test? You could call it that. I'll grade it for you", the noble retaliated but he knew well enough that first times were awkward, usually somewhat painful and sloppy enough to - essentially - ruin ones night, or at least someone for said night. They had nothing to judge all of this by, except for books and whatever Ronan thougt he knew, but that was something he wouldn't disclose to his lover just yet. "Hmm, I don't think so. As long as you have a solid reason", he answered. No, what would be weird about one man helping another - who usually looked like he was feeling miserable - to get from one destination to the other? However, that meant he was at Caelans mercy and he wasn't entirely sure if he wanted just that. But instead, he'd get to be held and kept warm for the entire ride which, in Ronans opinion, was nothing more than a rewarding situation through and through. "I'm fine, you warmed me up really well so ...", his hands lay on Caelans shirt and, almost as if it had become a custom, started unbuttoning it while he looked upward now, at Caelan who had oh so gently laid him down, and pressed a kiss to the nobles lips. "... I wouldn't mind a swim, but for that, you have to get rid of that shirt. And whatever else you want me to take off of you - maybe even everything?" Ronan licked his lips, then chuckled and kiss the blonde once more - did he mean it or was this just a joke?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "IF I don't know what you're planning to do, how could i be disappointed?", Caelan asked smiling, looking at Ronan. What was he to him now? An affair, fleeting and soon to be over when they realized, that what they did was too wrong and they couldn't keep going with it? When they realized it was way too dangerous? Or maybe it ended when they realized, that it wasn't enough to just have found someone as twisted as themselves and that after all they didn't have very much in common, or did they? They both didn't have it easy at home, their fathers hated them for some reason and they both loved men, not women, was this enough? Or was this already more than just an afair, was Ronan his soulmate? Was he his lover and would also be in the future? His boyfriend? Caelan liked the sound of it, but it probably was too early calling them a couple. "I have planned the setup, but everything since the moment you arrived just happens, without me planning any of it.", Caelan explained and pressed another kiss on Ronans neck.

      "And who's gonna grade you? After all you might know all those things you have read, but have you done any of it?", Caelan asked, after all he maybe had no idea what to actually do with Ronan, but Ronan was the inexperienced one, he never had a lover before and he still was a virgin, Caelan definitely was not. "Then we better think of a reason beforehand.", Caelan smiled, after all now he really wanted Ronan on his horse to cuddle him during the ride. The cuddling wouldn't even look weird, they had to be close together on that horse anyway. Caelan looked down while Ronans hands wandered to his shirt yet again, opening up the buttons. The kiss sent a ticklish feeling down his spine, while he let Ronan do what he wanted. He really hated shirts on Caelan, didn't he? Maybe it was because the first time they talked Caelan had been shirtless. "What about you? If I undress you, wouldn't you get cold again...? As well as in the lake?", he asked and this was his only concern. He was pretty sure that if the unlikely case should occur, that someone found them or saw them from the other shore or even when they went in the lake, that person couldn't make out that it was two men holding and kissing each other. Ronans long hair even helped with that, but as long as they kept hidden under the willow Caelan had found, none of this mattered, no one could see them, only some lights in the night if anything.

    • "Maybe you have expectations anyway because I let you on, but I meant something completely different?" Disappointing Caelan would be no small feat for sure, but who said that it couldn't happen? Just like their meeting here was a product of their own foolishness. On one hand, Ronan didn't have to fall for Caelan, but he did anyway - and that wasn't up for him to decide, just as it wasn't up for him to decide whether or not they would be found out here or not. Destiny wasn't what had brought them together, nor was it fate - in fact, it probably was luck, was the chance that one droplet of wine could have let things turn out differently. As gentle as their love was, it probably was as fragile and if they both had a wider selection to pick from, would they even be here, knowing well enough that what they were doing was wrong? Ronan knew that, maybe, just maybe, his crush on Caelan was fake and that all of this was just a culmination of his feelings and the blonde being his outlet - but who cared? Not him, not now - they were living in the moment, as well as they could. "Well, I didn't plan everything for after I got here - so this will be full of surprises for the two of us."

      No matter how he twisted and turned, or how many kisses the blonde pressed to his neck, he knew well enough that his cheeks were getting warm and that the spell that lasted on him was there forevermore - that he was at the blondes mercy and that he shouldn't have so many thoughts about not loving the man that was already doing so much for him. Ronan was willing to give himself a chance and he shouldn't turn away someone like him that was as confused about so many things as he used to be. "I ... Mh. Caelan, this is embarrassing. I mean, yes I touched myself, but still, admitting to it is embarrassing", he sighed and then tried to hide his face well enough while continuing to unbutton Caelans goddamn shirt. "Alright, I have a vague idea already." Everyone always thought that Ronan was a sickly child anyway, so that was an excuse that could work for just about anyone that saw them. "I don't care about that, undress me if you'd like and if you don't want to do it, I'll do it myself", he said, stuck his tongue out and soon enough had opened the last button of his shirt, carefully peeled it off of his shoulders and left it there - he couldn't help him like this, he'd have to get out of the rest himself. His hands wandered, stopped at Caelans pants. "May I? Or do you want to get your pants wet?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I won't get disappointed by something not happening which I have fabricated in my mind. In fact, you won't be able to disappoint me anyway.", Caelan smiled, another kiss followed. That Ronan was here with him was all he needed, he may have been disappointed when Ronan hadn't shown up, but other than that there was nothing much he could do to manage that. Caelan was happy about everything he received from his lover, but he wasn't mad or disappointed if he received nothing. Ronan was no machine, he gave what he could and that was more than enough for Caelan. Even if it was something Caelan didn't want, the thought was what counted in the end. "I like surprises.", Caelan hummed and he was already curious what surprises would wait for him in Ronans little oasis. What those books would tell him and what Ronan would want and also what they'd even do there. They couldn't lie in bed all day, could they? But until now they haven't done much more than that when together.

      Caelan watched Ronans cheeks getting red even in the flickering light, though it was more how Ronan acted to hide it that made it pretty obvious. It was cute and Caelan liked seeing him like this. Ronan always seemed to try looking strong and taller than he was, but his fragile side was what caught Caelans attention in the first place. If he showed that to him, Caelan was happy about it. He stuttered for a moment and Caelan couldn't help but laugh a little bit. "That wasn't exactly what I meant.", he said, giving Ronan another kiss on his lips. "I'm pretty sure you haven't done anything else but that, though... now I'm interested in what you did exactly... after all you've read there must be something I wouldn't even think of?" He pretty much knew that these kind of questions would just embaress Ronan even more, but one, Caelan was truly interested and two, Ronan had looked so sweet right now, he wanted to see more of it. Caelan sat up for a short time to get out of his shirt, then leaned over Ronan again, starting to move his fingers to unbutton his shirt as well. If he was going to be naked anyway, Caelan might as well do it. While he did that he pressed another kiss on Ronans neck, the nobles fingers went down his own body meanwhile. "We can swim completely naked today... I have no problem with that.", he answered whispering in Ronans ear and after all the buttons were open, he brushed over Ronans skin with his fingers, moving the fabric to the side and exposing his upper body. Even in this light he still could see the marks he had left there two days ago and he was somehow proud of that.

    • "So it's impossible to disappoint you, even if I wanted to? How boring", he chuckled. Well, he already was a disappointment to his father, so why would he want to be one to Caelan? Not being able to disappoint his fellow noble actually sounded good, as if it were bliss and maybe just what he needed, next to a nice bath when they would be arriving at the hutch. Well, as nice as a bath could be in there - they wouldn't have any water supply, so that meant he either would have to see how much water had remained in the barrels or if he had to go and grab bucket after bucket from the creek. "Do you now?", he asked, his lips already curled upward to a firm smile - they both were still so different and yet Ronan felt almost bad for being the one corrupting the blonde, the naive little puppy that only knew one side of the coin, rather than two. The trip to the hutch wouldn't be a bad idea after all, not when he already felt his whole body tingling just because Caelan was close to him, oh so close, he almost wanted to ask for a kiss - but why should he?

      Whatever he was trying to hide, Ronan was usually doing a horrible job at it - for him to openly show emotions, except for maybe disgust and annoyance, was kind of hard to begin with, but now that he did and now that he tried to hide them again, it must look ridiculous and Caelan was probably keen on teasing him about it, especially when he started talking again and kissed Ronan yet again. "I. Um. You. I. Yes. Ah", Ronan stammered, trying to regain his composure and miserably failing as he actually hid his flushed face behind his hands now, peeking out between his fingers, upwards to Caelan. "Spelling it out ... is. I would ... rather show you? Not here, not ... now. Even just thinking about it makes me embarrassed ... and yet, here I am ... undressing you", he mumbled, taking his hands off of his face after a while, but his embarrassment was nothing he could hide, no matter how hard he tried, especially not like this, when all of it was so tender and soft and Caelan was so very much more genuine than he was. "You don't mind? Then get out of your pants, silly", he chuckled and tugged them - alongside the blondes underwear, as far down as he could, even if that was exactly ... not far. Instead, cold air brushed against his chest and he bit back his urge to flinch immediately, instead, he looked upward again, directly at Caelan. "I could use some help", he said, tugging at the nobles pants once more, before removing his hands from there, sitting up just a bit and getting rid of shirt he was wearing. A kiss on his neck was all he needed to feel just a little bit better, to flare up some more - he sat up just a bit, just for a second, helped himself by putting his arms around Caelans neck and pecked him on the lips. "Unless you changed your mind about getting out of your clothes."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "You could still try doing your best, you know?", Caelan laughed, this should not have been a free pass to be a lacy bum all to the time, though that sounded more like something Caelan would do than Ronan would. He generally seemed very ambitious and conscientious, at least when it was about something important and he felt the need to actually do it. He could have just left without talking to all those nobles, but he didn't and Caelan was pretty sure it wasn't just because he was scared of his father, but because he just wouldn't have left this unfinished. Caelan was feeling some sense of responsibility too, but he would have been easily convinced to just leave and he did, he didn't tell his father who was probably looking around a bit, not finding his son and hoping he'd see him at home some day again. At least Caelan told him that he would stay away a week longer, he didn't want to do that at first either.

      Caelan looked at Ronans cheeks getting even more red and his hands rushing to his face to hide himself, though that made everything even more obvious. He was embarrassed and it was cute how he tried to avoid Caelans gaze, while the ideas that came to him because of what Caelan asked probably rushed in his head and he didn't know how to tell Caelan any of it. He started to stutter... a lot and his voice sounded a little bit different while he tried to form his thoughts into words and Caelan just stared at him anticipating. After all this time they weren't drunk and while Caelan had no problem with being naked, Ronan may have and also maybe would not be able to say things he did say two nights ago. "Show me...?", Caelan purred excited, he wanted to be at this damn hut already, not somewhere in the middle of nowhere. "Will you show me on my body or on yours...?", he asked with a sly smile and only now thought about watching Ronan while he demonstrated what he did to pleasure himself, it was a nice though indeed and he thought it would be very enjoyable. The wish he previously kept in the back of his head wasn't probably that good compared, so Caelan maybe rather asked for this? But would he be able to sit still while watching anyway? "You're cute.", Caelan noted when Ronan put his hands down again, not hiding anymore. Shortly after Ronan pulled on Caelans pants a little bit, not nearly enough. Ronan was getting rid of his shirt himself and Caelan watched, maybe, just maybe also somewhat embarrassed now, because after all also his thoughts weren't clouded from alcohol this time around. He had seen Ronan without a shirt before, but in another context after all. "What about your pants though? Are you leaving them on?", Caelan asked, while he put his hands on Ronans neck and slowly let them wander downwards, over his shoulders, chest and stomach until he reached the button of Ronans pants, stopping their and seemingly wanting an answer, before he'd really get him out of it.

    • "Oh, I will, don't worry", Ronan answered, equally amused. The two of them were nothing more than a disaster together and yet, he felt complete - as if Caelan was the missing part he was always searching for and yet, Ronan thought he was the one of them that was honorbound despite being the one that had started this, that had been eyeing the blonde up and down for no particular reason and that actually had hoped he'd get him drunk two days ago. Now they were here, under the trees and only gazed at by the moon and his many stars, their bodies almost exposed and their bodies and minds longing for more than they were willing to give one another. Having laid his eyes onto someone as beautiful as Caelan, as handsome, actually, Ronan wasn't sure if he'd want him to leave - not only was he attractive, his mouth also tended to spew words that - for some reason - found a way to worm themselves into his heart, to make him fall for the other even more. Whenever he touched him, it felt like he was burning, flaring up - and whenever he kissed him, it was so nice, so warm and like static finding its way into his body, taking him over. Ronan didn't want to miss that ever again.

      Was this what he had wanted? To tease him, to drag the worst out of him? Was this all that Caelan wanted from Ronan, to embarrass him and lay his sins bare in front of him, or was it just that the blonde anticipated much more than he would get? "Show you, yes", he answered, truthfully at that, and couldn't help but notice the tone in Caelans voice, which was alone to make him excited, even just a little bit. "Whatever you prefer, but it might be easier for you to watch than getting to feel it yourself, unless ... you want to", he mumbled and, again, felt the heat crawling up into his face. Wasn't he a disgrace? Wasn't this just indecent? Caelan had seen so much, had slept with so many girls and yet, he probably never saw a single one of them touching themselves and yet here he was, offering to his lover to put himself onto full display in their little hut and show him whatever he wanted to see or know. "Cute!?", he blurted out upon hearing it, but it was already too late - Caelans hands found their way back onto him, making his heart skip a beat in anticipation, making his chest swell seemingly - his breathing ragged and yet, he couldn't say no. "Leaving them on when you're naked? Not a chance." His own hands didn't know what to do with themselves, so Ronan clutched them against his own chest. "I can't pass up this opportunity", and he didn't even want to.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan was excited and he didn't want to take back what he just said, but even his pale cheeks got a red color when Ronan committed to it, though Caelan meant it half as a joke. He wanted to see him anyway and he was glad Ronan did just take it in just like that, as if it was something normal and he had planned it all along. Did he? Probably not, because his cheeks were still red, more than before maybe. What brought Ronan to gift Caelan all of him, what made him wanting to kiss and touch him, what made him want to blow him and show him those books and what he read himself on his own body? Caelan didn't complain, but he wondered and he wondered as well why he just committed to this relationship, to being with a man rather than a woman. It felt all very sudden and yet he didn't feel like anything was wrong with it. Was there more than just having the same twisted desires between them? Maybe their meeting was fate after all and they were meant to be together, hence it felt easy and right from the start, all of it. "I'll see what this all is about and maybe I might even let you show it to me on myself afterwards...", he whispered with a smirk on his face and every second more of this reminded him that he wanted to be somewhere else, namely in Alster.

      "Your are cute...", Caelan repeated, focusing on Ronans reaction right after his touch which was pure bliss, he liked seeing him reacting to all of this in exactly the way he did and Caelan was keen on experimenting during the next week. What spots did Ronan like, which did tickle and which provoked other reactions? He never was so interested in someone elses body than in Ronans. Caelan opened Ronans pants while he leaned forward again and kissed his chest. He softly licked over his skin while working his way further down to his belly, he kept kissing and caressing his skin until his lips reached the waistband of Ronans pants, only then he slowly pulled on them to get rid of those, including Ronans underwear, just as the fellow noble did himself. For some reason Caelan got a little nervous himself, pulling on the fabric and revealing what he had seen and touched before, but not without a good amount of alcohol in his system. But Caelan wouldn't be himself if something like that would be enough t startle him, so he kept going as if there was nothing to it. One hand slipped unter Ronans back to help lift him up in order to get the pants out between the blanket and Ronans butt and he undressed him fully, even picked the pants off of his legs and feet. Then he stood up, with his own pulled down pants to remove them fully and offer his hand to Ronan. After all they wanted to swim. He averted his gaze away from the center of Ronans body however, feeling like this was indecent and more difficult when sober. Not that he didn't like Ronans body, he just felt it wasn't right staring at him without being invited to it.

    • Ronan knew well enough that this was wrong, that this shouldn't be happening and yet his trembling body seemed to speak a different language - it was on a wavelength with Caelan, who's desire for him seemed to have long overtaken his voice of reason and Ronan wasn't going to turn that down. The truth was that, albeit his best efforts, could he even ever be enough for someone like that? Succumbing to lust and desire was one thing, but it didn't need love to blossom - it fed itself on what it had, and if it was the intoxicated minds of two young, confused men, then that seemingly was enough fuel to let them commit various crimes, all at once, because they couldn't keep it together. "Generous today, are we?", the black haired noble finally regained bits and pieces of his usual cockiness. Ronan wouldn't dare call it confidence, simply for the fact that he didn't have any and Caelan knew that well enough, but they both cold lie to one another as much as the wanted, because in the end, lies would become the truth sooner than later. "Though, you do deserve to be rewarded eventually."

      "I am cute? What brings you to that conclusion?", he asked, confused enough as to why Caelan would even feel prompted to say such things. Nothing was certain, not always anyway, but it was very much obvious that he enjoyed the teasing and the love he was getting, the simple touches and pushes into the right direction - Caelans words, or his tongue on his skin, or his soft kisses travelling down his body - nothing else mattered anymore, Ronan wanted just that, the warmth that spread in his body where skin touched skin. It was almost cute, seeing Caelan so eager and yet so hesistant about something like this, despite both of them having seen one another naked, despite Ronan being the one to blow him a few days ago and yet this felt almost awkward, new and foreign. His pants and underwear soon pooled at his ankles, Caelans ghastly touch still lingering on that body of his and when he finally got back up, his lover had managed to pull down his pants completely and expose himself - which, for one, he absolutely didn't mind, even if one stare too long, too far almost felt like it had made his jaw ache. Now that they had gotten back onto their feet and were walking towards the shore, he wondered what this would be - out here, everyone could see them and before they would eventually leave, Ronan did well to toss that hairtie of his to the rest of his clothes, knowing fully well that he wouldn't be needing it anytime soon. Once they had reached the shore, though, Ronan was quick enough to first grab one and then both of his lovers hands, tiptoeing and gently kissing him on those lips of his - there was nothing more than moonlight and stars out here, and them. "This feels ... nice, you know?", Ronan murmured, pressing the back of one of Caelans hands to his cheek. "But, we can save all of this for later ... we really ... should go for a swim", he giggled, finally letting go and slowly walking into the cold water, until nothing but that head of his was poking out. It wasn't unpleasant, but for it to become pleasant, he'd actually have to swim to warm up a little. Ronan was already exhausted and yet he stood there, waiting for the blonde and grinning at him from afar - maybe he could splash him with some water when he got in?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.