[2er RPG] The Shepherd [ENG]

"Well, I can't say No to him unless I wanna discuss this for the next ten years until he gets hisnown out of some sort of rebellion", Marcus argued, "but telling me, that this thing is almost two decades old didn't help, thanks. I never trusted those things..."
He stopped himself from imagining the cruelest of accidents involving bikes like this and cars and trucks and everything. Not a happy place to be but the alternative Logan provided with his next question wasn't that enjoyable either.
"No, I went for a walk in the park to clear my head. He just happened to be there as well."
Marcus sighed and rubbed his face.
"I don't like that he's so close. But at least he doesn't know where exactly we live", he said in some sort of defense, "he got me his new number. Apparently he doesn't like the fact that you could contact him at any time."
But Marcus wondered. If his brother was capable of doing good, like he did when catching their father, couldn't he just... become part of it all? Use his particular set of skills in a good way, like Logan and Marcus and all the other Agents of the Shepherd Organization? And maybe become part of the family he so desperately tried to protect in his own weird way?
"You know, I was thinking... maybe he... I don't know. Forget it. I said nothing."

"Two decades? I'm not that old...", Logan complained smiling. He knew Marcus could do the math, but he liked being overdramatic to make his point. When they talked about Francis, Logans face darkened a bit.
"Trust me, I don't like it either... and what makes you think he doesn't know where we live?", he asked and looked at Marcus again. He studied his face, imagining what he just was about to say.
"Your agreement is over, you know that right? Your father is behind bars so Francis will start killing again. Maybe he had enough thrill for now, killing that woman, but he will start again and he will never change. He's not going to kill you, or Dylan or me, or anyone who is close to you, but he'll destroy other lifes, just like your father did. He's next on our serialkiller list. And Mike probably won't let you work on this one, and I'm agreeing with him on that."

Marcus teeth grinded. Logan had a point, he was right. Mike, too, probably. But Marcus wouldn't let that happen just like that. Maybe he was as insane as the rest of his family but he believed that with the right motivation, Francis could actually be one of the good guys. Well, maybe not the GOOD guys but he could at least stay on the right side.
He said nothing of that out loud.
"He doesn't know, trust me", he said instead and went back inside.
Francis was a complicated topic. Marcus knew he should hatee him like all the other people they stopped so far. But he couldn't. Sure, Francis did horrible things and Marcus would not forgive him for that. But at the same time, Francis was his brother. Family. If there was only the slightest chance for him to survive this headhunt, Marcus would do anything for that.
He went to the boxes Logan brought in yesterday and started sorting. He needed a clear head and organizing stuff in the real world helped organizing his thoughts. He needed to do this right. But he couldn't tell Francis. Or Andrew. Or Mike. Or Logan. They would just have an eye on him. They would keep him in sight, stopping him from anything he could do to help. So for now he just needed Francis to do what he did best: hide in plain sight. But besides trying to rescue his brothers soul, Marcus was sure of another thing. If Francis would kill again, it was over. If this happened, Marcus would kill Francis by himself. No one had the right to end this madness. It was Marcus' family. It was his duty.

Logan watches Marcus going inside again. Francis was a topic they couldn't talk about, most of the time someone left the conversion angry or hurt. Logan didn't know what Marcus was thinking, but he himself felt anger building up inside him again. Francis had Marcus in his hands, maybe he honestly cared, maybe he used him to get away with all he did. He had a tragic life, but so did other people and not everyone of them chose to be a killer and it was a decision Francis obviously could take, at least he stopped killing after his agreement with his brother.
Logan tried fixing his bike again and he also tried to not think about this topic any longer. He had no gain from overthinking this and he couldn't do anything about it. Marcus knew exactly what Logan was thinking about Francis and he wouldn't change his mind if Logan just annoyed him with it any further. He couldn't concentrate anymore though and after squeezing his fingers more than once he gave up. He just laid down on the grass in their backyard and looked at the sky. Taking in the warmth of the late summer sun.

With lightning speed, Marcus got through all the boxes. In just one hour nothing was left and everything looked as neat as before. He brought the cardboard boxes back outside and threw them into the shed before sitting down next to Logan and reaching for his hand.
"I'm sorry. Touchy topic. I shouldn't have jumped like that."
He kissed Logans knuckles and laid down next to his boyfriend.
"What are we looking at?", he asked.
Just staring at some clouds wasn't Marcus' thing. Meditation in general wasn't his thing. His thoughts became louder like this, therefore it had the exact opposite effect on him. It wasn't relaxing at all.

Logan looked up to Marcus who sat next to him and sighed. "It's okay. I get it. He's your family.", he said, then looked up at the sky again. He didn't get all of it, but he imagined himself in the same situation, with Leia or one of his brothers being a killer... he'd probably try to save them too, no matter the cost. Actually... Marcus was doing way better then Logan would ever have. Logan himself was no good person and if his family was on the line, he didn't care who he had to hurt to save them. Marcus was different, although he didn't realize it. He always was scared of being one of the bad guys, to be like the rest of his family, a murderer, a psychopath. But whatever his reasons where not to be one of them, he certainly was one of the best people Logan knew. He caught many killers and therefore saved at least as many lives as his family had destroyed.
After not saying anything for a while now, Logan turned his gaze to Marcus again and put his hand on his boyfriends cheek. Maybe Logan was jealous of Francis, maybe he was scared Marcus would pick his brother over Logan. And while Marcus was trying to get the conversation to another topic, Logan was the one who couldn't get Francis out of his head. He didn't know on which side to be on, but he pushed the thoughts away.
"Kiss me.", Logan demanded of his boyfriend, at least it always seemed to help Marcus to get his mind off of something bothering him.

Without hesitation, Marcus leaned over and followed Logans order. In the back of his head, he asked a million questions, tried to understand the situation. But he muted those question, since he knew that he didn't need to understand Logan. A little mystery once in a while wasn't that bad after all.
He pulled back only inches from Logans face.
"Now that's a view I can deal with", he whispered and kissed him again.
He hated fighting with Logan. Nevertheless they did it all the time, especially over Francis. Luckily, they managed to pull themselves together rather quickly afterwards.
Marcus leaned back and stared at the sky. They could use some rain. The weatherforecast didn't say anything about rain but it was the beginning of autum and in Washington, D.C. that usually meant a lot of water. So where was it?
"You better not leave me alone at that BBQ on the weekend. You know I'm only good with people when I'm interrogating them."

Logan was relieved when Marcus kissed him and his thoughts did actually stop. When his boyfriend leaned back he thought about pulling him down on the grass and pinning him down for another kiss, but he was still careful with him. Only a few days before he got the stitches removed.
Marcus sat up again and Logan followed his gaze in the sky, then chuckled a little. "I'm mostly surrounded by kids at such events, but I'll try. Also, you did good at Dylans training. I almost didn't say anything and we still got invited to the BBQ, so that's all on you.", he replied and looked up again in Marcus face and his heart jumped a little when he thought about him being his boyfriend.

"I did good? I literally told them about our work. I barely managed to cencor myself. Now imagine a bunch of people surrounding me and asking the same question. I'm gonna be like 'please let this end' and just say 'we're hunting serial killers down!' and run away from them. Or what if they ask the infamous 'how did you do that?' cause I mentioned something I'm not supposed to have known, hm? Happens all the time. Then I'm pulling out the Sherlock, insult everyone without knowing and we're the hated couple."
Maybe he was over exaggerating but tit was plausible that at least his behavior would be like this. The other attendees were an unknown factor right now, but Marcus' experience - and maybe some movies - tought him, that this scenario could be what was going to happen.
"Look at me, all socially awkward when I'm usually the cool, intimidating cop", Marcus chuckled shaking his head.

Logan laughed and sat up too to be face to face with Marcus. He took his boyfriends hands into his own and smiled calming. "Listen, if you don't want to talk about yourself, just ask them questiones like they do. It doesn't matter if you care, people like to talk about themselves so they'll happy tell you all sorts of stuff and you don't have to answer questions. Juggling back and forth and both talking is the polite thing to do while talking, but trust me, they'll happily have the whole conversation for themselves." Logan made a short break and chuckled again, imagining Marcus trying to ask 'normal' questiones. "You wanna train with me?"

"You know that I don't ask questions. I interrogate", Marcus replied.
But then he had to laugh.
"Practice? But I already know you! I know your siblings names and ages, your favorite food, color, movie, music genre, intimate spots... I know your shoe size, clothing size, favorite shampoo. I can tell when you're lying, when you're happy, when you're angry. And if I try to get more information about you, I'll have to interrogare you. I'm a lost cause."
He shrugged smiling, then leaned against Logans shoulder.
"Guess we have to see how it goes. Maybe I just tape my mouth shut? We got a bunch of Duct Tape around the house."

"Just imagine you talk with Dylan. You never interrogate him and when I dragged you out of office to eat with me, I felt like having a normal conversation, although I talked most of the time.", Logan replied still smiling and put his arm around Marcus as he leaned against him. "And I can pretend being another person. Like a normal wife doing a BBQ and live normally or something. Or an old trucker who is home from work after 2 weeks. Or some guy from Texas, although my accent isn't very good." He started stroking the back of Marcus head softly. "Another advice. Just ask one tiny question, like about their children. Then, when they tell you, you just nod and smile and ask tiny obvious questions, when they want you to. You know like 'And you wouldn't believe what happened next' then you say 'Oh my! Do tell!' And if they really want you to talk about your life, just talk about Dylan. You can't go wrong with that, he's awsome and there is so much you can talk about." Logan chuckled. "And if we would duccttape your mouth, we'd really be the odd ones."

"Why? On Britians Got Talent, the peiole liked the guy with the tape on his mouth. Called himself Tapeface. Pretty funny dude. Stupid, but funny."
Would Marcus be a cat, he would purr right now. Logan knew exactly what to do to make him melt beneath his touch. And Marcus wouldn't dare to stop him. He enjoyed it too much. This closeness... he never had it before.
Marcus reached for Logans free hand and fumbeld around with his fingers. Occupational therapy.
"We're gonna rock this BBQ. I'm scaring the people by interrogating everyone and you confuse them with your not working southern accent. Then we steal all the steaks and run like hell."
He chuckled and sank down, putting his head on Logans lap.

"That wouldn't work... we don't got talent and we are not in Britain.", Logan argued and chuckled. He went on with caressing Marcus head after he laid down and watched him fumbling with his fingers. "And there is a big flaw in your plan. Dylan would never let us steal anything and he would never let us leave early and without saying goodbye." Logan laughed again, Dylan was a good child and he didn't learned that from them, Logan was sure about that. "Hey, you never told me of his mother. What was she like?", he asked curious.

Oh boy, another question Marcus didn't really want to answer.
"She was my highschool-sweetheart. Sort of. Back then I was a loner. I somehow managed to fly under the radar, so nobody would pick on me. Being the smart kid, having a sharp humor if any and those weird eyes... I had my fair share of comments all through middleschool. So I hunkered down in my paranoia-corners during break and just ignored everyone else. But then there was this new girl. She had friends, she was socially accepted. But she would always look over her shoulder and watch me reading books or finishing homework early or something. I'm lretty sure everyone told her that I was the freak and she should leave me alone. But she didn't. She picked me as her lab partner and not just for a joke. So we hang out together because we had to. And then it turned out, that she was a freak, too. Her family had this genetic disease that altered their faces in a weird way and brightened ther skin, hair and eyes. She was beautiful, everyone thought that. But this defect had more downsides. If you're lucky, like her, you only get the awesome face, the beautiful eyes, a weird white spot in your hair and are deaf on one ear. But you can get deafness, blindness, heart and skin problems, even issues with your brain, because the bone structure of your skull is wrong. Sometimes she would have these intense migranes because of that..."
Marcus sighed and for the first time, Marcus compared her face with Dylans. He may uave his eye-color, but there was definitely something of his mother in him as well.
"Her family was mostly deaf and she had to do all the talking and stuff. Nobody knew about her condition. She always colored her white spot or said she colored it white. She was just the pretty one for everyone. Except me. I was curios and asked, she gave me the name of the disease, the rest took me about two hours in a library. Bless the internet today.
We somehow bonded over the fact that we were different. I told her about my filtering issues. She told me about her headaches. I told her about my memory, she told me about her deaf ear. You know how the story continues.
We broke up shortly after Highschool. She wanted to go to college in Seattle, I stayed at my aunts for some time. We tried, but long distance just didn't work. Then I took off for New York to become a cop. About eight or nine years ago, I met her again. Someone stole her purse. We talked and met for a drink later that day. She was now some beauty magazine columnist or whatever. She was in town for the fashion week. That night... we were teenagers again. I found her purse two days later, we said our goodbyes, we never saw each other for the next eight years. Then I get this call from her, she asked to meet me, I said yes, you know the drill. That was the day she told me about Dylan."
Marcus sighed. Now he looked back and called it one of the happiest days in his life. But right then he was... confused. To say the least.
"She was always kind. Had a heart for the outsiders and underdogs. But she knew what she wanted and she wanted to earn her way. She wanted to be respected as she respected others. She was... great. And looking at Dylan, she was the best mother one could have."
He didn't realize but a single tear crept its way down on the side of his face out of the corner of his eye. Marcus didn't know if he loved her, but she eas definitely one of the few people who managed to crack his shell and actually come close to him.

Logan listened to Marcus story and didn't say anything until he was finished. He tried to imagine Marcus being in highscool, what he looked like and what Dylans mother looked like. Logan had many more questions, but he felt he should leave this topic alone again for now, Marcus obviously was hurt talking about her. Who knows what would have happened if she was still alive. Maybe Marcus would sit in the garden with her instead of Logan. And Marcus was right, she raised her son exceptionally well.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to catch you off guard like that.", Logan apologized for the question. "Seems like I'm the on interrogating you now." Logan still stroked through Marcus dark hair and smiled a little. "Still, I'm happy you told me."

"You didn't. I just didn't think about her for a long time. Dylan actually has some of her facial features. His nose is quite short and his eyes are a bit more spaced than mine. That's her. We should have some photos in some of the boxes. I just cleaned out her apartment, didn't look around much."
Marcus smiled a little.
"Always the jokster, aren't ya. Now it's your turn. Kiss me."
He reached for Logans neck, pulling him in for a kiss.
"Don't be jealus of her. It was never like this between us. She cracked my shell. She was the first person I let in in a long time. A time lonely time. We are different than it was back then. And besides... there is nothing left to be jealus about."

Logan got pulled down and kissed Marcus softly. Then he looked at him, still being close and he was a little startled. "I'm not jelous...", he replied. Okay maybe he was a little bit, but mostly because he'd like to have a mini me too, someone who shared his features and just like that there was something left to be jealous about. But it was stupid and Logan didn't mean it. He loved Dylan and wouldn't change him a bit, he turned out to be great with the parents he got.
"You don't have to answer, but... why didn't she tell you earlier about him? Or that she was pregnant, she must have known you would have taken care of your son from the start.", he asked. "I don't mean to pry, like I said, we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to."

"She was scared", Marcus answered right away, "not of my family, she had no idea what happened. She was scared of me saying No. Of me giving up my life here to be in Seattle with her and Dylan. As I said, she had a heart for the outsiders. She saw that I found a place where I fit in. She actually told me that. She just didn't want me to be unhappy."
He shook his head a bit.
"I don't blame her. Who knows? Maybe Dylan wouldn't be alive at this point, if she said something. I mean..."
He sighed.
"My father wanted him for his experiments. Francis was a failure, he couldn't get his hands on me. If I had known that Dylan existed, if I had been there to care for him... my father would have found him earlier and I couldn't help him, because I wouldn't have access to the Organizations ressources. She did the right thing by keeping Dylan away from, by keeping him a secret. She just wanted to do right by me, too, and that's what got her killed. Her big mistake was her big heart."
Now he felt the tears and quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand.
"But I'm glad she told me. Were would he be without me knowing? He could've ended up like me with loving foster parents getting killed by his grandfather. Or worse, my father took a hold him. Made him another monster. No, he's good here, with us. Not perfect, but he has a government organization and a highly skilled serial killer to protect him."

Logan looked at Marcus, feeling sorry for tearing open wounds which hadn't healed completely yet, although they probably never would. Nevertheless, Logan felt bad for asking him right away. That's why he didn't say out loud, that Dylan being protected by Francis wasn't really a thing he was happy about. Instead he leaned forward again and kissed Marcus on his forehead.
"You are right. He's save now and when your fathers trial is over, we can finally breath for a moment. And I didn't mean to attack his mother, I know she must have had good reasons for keeping him from you. And still, it is like you two always knew eachother. You are not his mother, but you can be proud, you are the best father Dylan can wish for." Logan smiled and wiped away a tear from Marcus face he missed earlier.