[2er RPG] The Shepherd [ENG]

"You should be careful, buddy. So much honey attracts nasty insects", Marcus joked and smiled a little.
He knew that Logan only meant good, but right now it got a bit cheesy. Too cheesy.
Marcus stood up and stretched his arms careful not to stress his neck.
"C'mon big guy. I'm out of boxes. Go get some for me to work on. Watching you is no fun if your dressed like this. Or at all."
He winked at Logan and made his way back inside. It wasn't that late but this morning Marcus didn't eat as many pancakes so he was a bit hungry. Fortunately the bought some fruit yesterday. He sliced some like a fruit ninja and brought a bowl outside to Logan.

Logan sighed smiling before he stood up too. Then he made his way in the shed to bring some more boxes inside which Marcus could go through. Afterwards he went on repairing his old bike. Marcus brought a bowl with some fruit and Logan smiled thankful. "You know, there are not much boxes left. Maybe you should start searching for another hobby. What about a big jigsaw puzzle which consist only of black pieces. It'll be extrem sorting.", he proposed and started eating. His hands where a little dirty, but he didn't mind.

"No it wouldn't. I would still remember how all the pieces look. Would just take the time it takes to actually place the pieces."
Marcus flicked a grape up in the sky and cought it with his mouth.
"You're not gonna get me with visuals, you know that. No, I think I'm gonna tackle the laundry afterwards. Pairing your immense collection of black socks back together is a puzzle on it's own. Or, you know, I could tell you what's wrong with your bike and how to fix it. But where would the fun be in that?"
He smiled his charming smile and put an apple slice in his mouth.
"And I only got three days left to mentally prepare for the BBQ, if you count today into.that equation. But don't you worry. I got a list of things to do. I'm longer 'on vacation' than you, remember. I already thought of everything."

"But you also know most of the things in the boxes... you helped me clear my apartment.", Logan answered and shook his head. "And pairing socks is more exciting then doing a puzzle? I'll never get you." Then he looked at his boyfriend like a child, he didn't want help with his bike, but Marcus knew that anyway. "Nooo thank you. I know what's wrong, I just need to get it fixed and stay fixed. And I'll gladly do it alone, otherwise I'll get bored pretty soon. And I'm annoying when I'm bored, you know that."
He also got another apple slice and ate it before he looked at Marcus with a different look. "At least socks aren't heavy. So, no heavy lifting still and now shoo shoo, I can't stand you being here with your neck all fragile." He grinned and certainly knew what he'd do if Marcus wasn't hurt still. Instead he moved his hands as if he waned to scare away a pigeon.

"I never said, it's more fun. It's just something else to do and something productive. A puzzle is not. And just because I know what's in the box doesn't mean I don't have to organize it so it can fit perfectly into the new space. My DVDs don't like other people's DVDs."
Marcus got up, kissed Ligan on the cheek and went back inside imitating the sound of a scared chicken.

Two hours later he was pretty much done with the boxes and managed to get the laundry train going.
"Hey muscle man", he said, leaning agains the sliding glas door leading outside, arms crossed, "no heavy lifting. So you gotta get this printer upstairs in the office. And I have empty and neatly folded boxes for ya. I'm gonna change the dressing", he waved at his neck, "and gonna get Dylan. The bike's better out of side when we get back. No need for dangerous daydreams just now."
It sounded very demanding but Marcus was just pissed that he couldn't even do a simple task like putting a printer in another room. It was so annoying to have to depend on others like this.
He got back inside and upstairs in the bathroom to deal with the stupid cut. The stitches looked messy, the wound did, too. Carefully, Marcus cleaned the area put some disinfectend on it and a new dressing in top. Uncomfortable, like always. With a sigh he made his way back and headed out to Dylans school.

Logan got far with his bike and sat up smiling when Marcus came back outside, to tell him what was up next. He didn't mind his demanding voice, nor did he mind carrying stuff around. So he stood up and put his bike away, so Dylan wouldn't see it, then he brought the printer upstairs. He put away the boxes too and heard Marcus closing the front door to get Dylan. Logan decided to take a quick shower, because he was pretty dirty from working outside.
As he stood in the shower and the warm water dropped on his shoulders he sighed a little. He asked himself if it was okay for them to go on a carefree BBQ. Of course it was... but he hadn't got the feeling of closure yet. Maybe he'd feel better when Marcus father was finally convicted and Marcus brother stopped creeping around them. He shook his had, it wasn't like him to be worrisome and it probably was good for Marcus to go out a little. And Dylan could meet his friends outside of school, it was going to be a lot of fun for all of them.
After he was finished enough time passed for Marcus to Dylan to come back soon, so he went down, noticing that Marcus had put everything to a distinct place. That meant he had no cleaning up to do to make the time pass faster. If the had at least a child which didn't put their stuff away, but no, Dylan was just like his father. Everything was put back at its place after usage. So Logan sat down and switched the TV on. He didn't want to watch the news so he skipped a little until he stopped at a documentation about wolves. Nothing that particularly interested him, but it wasn't bad either.

Marcus watched. He was a few minutes early and one of Dylans teachers decided to utilize the pleasant day. Art class. The kids sat around a tree and tried to find the right colors; every leaf seemed to have a different one now that fall was coming.
Dylan sat between Kyle and Jack. They talked and joked around. Dylan had this cute habbit of biting his tongue with a gentle smile in certain situations. Mostly it showed after he got his will, especially when using puppy-eyes. Just like his mom used to...
"Hey Kyle", Marcus greeted the boys when they came out, "care for some lunch and a ride home later on?"
Dylans eyes exploded. Did his father just invite another kid over without any planning ahead?! What was wrong with him?
They said their goodbyes to Jack and hopped into the massive black car. Back home, the two ran upstairs laughing. Marcus stood behind Logan on the couch and put his hands on his boyfriends shoulders.
"There are two kinds of people out there. The sheep: innocent people, not thinking of anything bad, just caring about their own life. And the wolves: bad, bloodthirsty monsters who only seek to destroy the peace", he quoted Mikes infamous speech of what a shepherd is.
When Marcus first heard that one, it made more sense to him than anything ever before. But, to be honest,he was pretty lost at that time. And Mike did a bunch of shit to get Marcus to say yes. Shit he still didn't forgive his boss.
"Wolves are actually kinda fascinating...", Marcus mumbled and slowly massaged Logans shoulders.

When the door opened Logan let his head fall back to have a look behind him. Marcus brought Kyle with him and Logan slightly shook his head. "You know... you should plan such invitations ahead.", he smiled at his boyfriend. He looked back at the TV and sighed a little, he longed for Marcus touch so much these days. He almost lost him and he had the feeling he had to hold hil close all the time now, to not loose him again. But he was patient and didn't annoy Marcus with that.
Logan grumbled a little after Marcus citation. "He's kind of right, but at the same time he's not. And you forgot the part where he made clear what the origins of any kind of dogs are... but it's also true." Except Logan didn't really fit. He defended his family first on the street, then in war until he quit. But there was no serial killer who took something from him, not until he met Marcus. War was something else, it wasn't about anyone personally and he only killed because he was told to,but actually it was darker then killing someone out of a reason. Logn didn't feel bad about it though.
"Wolves actually can't be evil. They just survive by hunting a sheep once in a while, it's their nature. Comparing serial killers with wolves always leaves a bad taste in my mouth and has the opposite effect on me as Mike intents to with this story." Logan looked up again and looked Marcus in his eyes. Having origins of a bloodthirsty animal is something Marcus seemed afraid of and Mike of all people knew that. He was an asshole to say the least.

"But you're not a sheep. And no actual shepherd whose life somewhat depends on the wellbeing of his animals. For a sheep, the wolf is the devil. But you're right. Mike has a point, the organization has a point. But that doesn't mean it's right. Perspective. That's what matters."
Marcus leaned forward and kissed Logan on his head. Only a second later, the laughter grew louder again and the boys came rushing downstairs.
"I'm gonna make sandwiches. Want one?", Marcus asked Logan.
The ex-soldier almost looked tired to him. Not in not enough sleep. More like what are we even doing.
The boys barely noticed the grown ups. They were discussing what that awkward new teacher did today. Marcus let them and joined Logan on the couch with a PBJ-sandwich.
"You okay? You always take care of me but right now, you look like you could use an ear. And possibly a shoulder. You know I'm here. So shoot. What's going on in your pretty little head?"

"Actually Mike is the Shephard, and we are his dogs, right?", Logan asked sighing, at least that was what he made of all this talk about hypothetically everyone being an animal. He needed that kiss Marcus gave him and nodded at the question if he wanted a sandwich too.
After Marcus came back he took his sandwich and leaned on his boyfriend. He didn't care if he got another 'eew' from the boys. But he was startled yet again when Marcus asked him if he was okay.
"I'm no... I'm...", there was no point in trying to lie to Marcus and playing the strong and happy one all the time, so he leaned back again to look at Marcus blue eyes. "I just... I never was so close to loosing someone I love. And I have this bad feeling creeping up my back all the time since we got back home, that we aren't finished with this. Maybe because of your brother, or... something else, I don't know." He didn't want to fight over Francis again, so he shook his head, that wasn't what he was going for with that statement. He toned down a little, but the boys didn't seem to notice anything they say.
"I know, your father is in prison and is most likely to stay there, but...", he stopped for a second. "It's stupid, I know. I never worried this much when he was loose and now I'm freaking over nothing. I guess it's more then unlikely for him to hurt you anymore. I just have a really bad feeling about this, but maybe it's because I have too much time to think lately. I'm just afraid of loosing you again and I... kind of miss you." Logan reached for Marcus hand resting on his lap. "I know you are here and I'm here too, but I have the feeling some big nasty shadow is following us everywhere we go and us being together feels somehow different. I can't pinpoint exactly whats bothering me though..." Them being at home all to time, everyone was doing there thing, them even wanting to go to a neighborhood BBQ, it felt like they forgot something big and at the same time, although they where together in this house all the time, Logan felt like seeing Marcus only rarely. "Sorry, I make no sense..."

So he noticed.... marcus sighed.
"You actually make a lot of sense. To me at least. Since all that happend I... I feel different. Francis said, I sound like father. That I... changed my perspective and that it's dangerous. I don't know what he meant exactly but lately... I feel normal. And I never feel normal. Because I am not normal. And before you start talking me out of that last point: I don't only mean my violence-magnet. My eyes out me as different. My brain does."
He shook his head.
"I don't know what to make of this. Something changed, yes. But I don't know what and I don't know if it's really that bad to feel normal for once."
He wrapped his fingers around Logans hand. They would figure it out. Together. Like they always did.

It was true, Marcus felt different, also to Logan. But what kind of person would he be to be sad, or angry, or confused, or whatever he was feeling about the fact, that Marcus may have a chance to be happy for once.
"I think I'm just not ready to let my guard down and I'm a little bit confused that you seem to have done exactly that. But... please, just try this normal for once. Try it as long as it lasts and let me be on watch for everything bad that may or may not be heading for us. There is no point in us both freaking out. I know what your father was trying to achieve by getting to you, but that doesn't mean he was or will ever be able to. You are your own person and your father wanted to use that to prove his point. He never believed killers where born and I feel gross agreeing with him, but I don't think so too. You weren't born a bad person, don't think about your family that much all the time and try being yourself and do what you feel is best for you. And if it is going to a friendly neighborhood BBQ and have some fun, than we shall do exactly that, without any doubts or regrets." Logan smiled at Marcus.
"Whatever you decide to do or however you choose to live your life, you know I'll always got your back. And if you need me to be on watch for a change, you can count on me. Sorry for sounding cheesy again though... ", the ex soldier laughed a little, he seemed to have a habit of being too cheesy lately and it added a strange mix to his already confused feelings. Maybe he should fix his bike already and leave for a few days, sorting out what was going on. But now he agreed to stay here and take care of Marcus and Dylan, so he probably couldn't just disappear a few days.

"Be as cheesy as you want, as long as you don't start smelling weird."
Marcus pulled Logan in for a kiss, then leaned his forehead agains Logans.
"I trust your instincts. You should, too. And as much as I hate saying that: be my knight in shining armor. Just don't make me a stupid princess, okay? I can't wear dresses, doesn't suit me."
He leaned back, threw an arm around Logan and pulled him in, so he could rest his head on his shoulder. He, too, had earned a break from their brutal reality.

Marcus helped the boys with their homework and later on brought Kyle home. The evening rituals of eating, watching some cartoons and getting Dylan into bed stayed the same and Marcus, usually the first one to complain about such routines, didn't even notice. It was a boring day in a boring week, nothing major happened. And he was content with it.

Logan was glad Marcus didn't think he was crazy for worrying so much, but he hoped his instincts would fail him. If they could live a normal, happy life, that was a good thing. He rested a while on Marcus shoulder and just closed his eyes, taking in the warmth of his boyfriend.

The next days where as normal as the previous ones. Dylan went to school, Marcus wasn't allowed to lift heavy stuff and Logan finally got his bike fixed. They still put it secretly back in the garage. Now the BBQ was almost there and Dylan was overly excited about it. Logan still was a little tense, but he hoped the BBQ was something to distract his mind. Marcus felt like this the whole time, worse than this... Logan didn't know how he handled that. Only now he seemed... kind of calm and a little bit carefree.
As long as Marcus didn't got the stitches out, Logan carried around stuff and he had a close eye on him. But he still played with the thought of leaving for two or three days, but first, Marcus had to be well again. And now they had to deal with the BBQ anyway.
Logan was in their bedroom and dressed, after he took a shower. "Are you freaking out yet?", Logan asked grinning at Marcus, while he decided to wear black jeans and some casual checkered shirt.

"No, not really. Well, I wouldn't call it 'freaking out'. More like 'shitting my pants'."
It was a joke, yes, but Marcus actually was a little nervous. Social interaction never was his strong suit. But he would do this and he would not freak out, he promised himself.
At least he was more creative it the choice of clothing by just owning more than just black stuff. But that was about it. He did manage to go for a button down instead of a normal t-shirt. Jeans, sneaker and leather jacket were as usual. Maybe he wasn't that creative after all...
"Dylan! You ready yet?", Marcus asked down the hallway.
"Putting on my shoes!", was the answer.
"We're eally gonna do this, don't we?", Marcus asked going over to Logan and putting his arms around his hips, "we're absolutely mad."
He kissed his boyfriend maybe a little bit too long but he needed this short moment of peace.

They parked the car at the end of the street and walked the last few meters to the garden party. It was hard to miss with all the people atttending the BBQ. Dylan held his fathers hand, looked up and after a short nod by Marcus ran towards the other kids playing in the garden.
This was definitely not the first BBQ in this household. There were hightables, a corner for smokers, light snacks, cooled beer, everything was set for a bunch of guests. And everyone was talking.
Marcus' grip on Logans hand grew a bit tighter. He questioned his decision for a moment but than Joselyn saw and greeted them.
"Hi! So nice you could make it. Come in! It's just the parents of the class this time, so not too big."
Did they really uave even bigger parties? Marcus would probably never come over again.





@Earinor

Logan watched Marcus freaking out at home, in the car and then outside of the BBQ. Dylan went off and Marcus looked like he wanted to jump in the car and drive home again. His hand closed tighter around Logans and Logan just couldn't stop grinning.
Joslyn greeted them as soon as she saw them and Logan couldn't get his hand out of Marcus grip to politely greet her. Instead he nodded with his most charming smile.
"Nice being here. You have a beautiful house. And maybe we should think about getting some plants in our yard too. The flowers look beautiful."
"Ah well... I just attend to them here and now... nothing special.", Joselyn played the modest one and led them to the other parents. Logan leaned over to Marcus. "Just relax a bit, you're breaking my hand...", he whispered smiling, before starting to greet everyone and try to get their names right. That was something Marcus could do easily.
"Would you like something to drink? Beer, Water, Limonade?", Joselyn asked them politely and Logan asked for a beer, while he felt like Marcus father who had to take care of him. Somehow this situation was funny.

Marcus would kill for a good Whiskey right now but he wasn't allowed. So he settled with boring water. He was surprisingly quiet. Usually he held back in an interrogation, watched, learned and then broke the suspect within minutes. But this right here was different. He was the one intimidated by all these people. Well, not the people. It was the combined force of their voices that made him a bit anxious. He tried to relax, really. He needed a few minutes to get the rhythm of everything. But finally, he let go of Logans hand.
"Sorry", he said quietly.
"Not a people-person, hm?", asked Joselyn.
"Not a bunch people person, actually. I can read people. I just cannot talk to them. Call it a police thing, if you want."
"It's okay. Most of the men here talk about sport and the women talk about their kids or other women. You'll get the hang of it, I'm sure."
If she only knew...

Logan took his beer and took a sip before pushing Marcus a little further in the room. "Don't stress yourself we---", he got interrupted by Dylan who poked him in the side. "Logan! Logan! We need one more to play soccer, or we have uneven teams.", Dylan asked more or less and Logan smiled. "I don't think I can leave..."
"Please please please! I already told them you would play with us! You are our goalkeeper!"
"Isn't that a bit unfair with my size?"
"No, you are slow, so it's okay."
"Hey little one...", Logan mumbled and poked him a little.
"Yeah whatever, but you see, you have to come or my credibility is lost forever!"
"Where do you get those fancy words...", Logan sighed and looked at Marcus apologizing, before Dylan pulled him away. The other parents took that as a perfect conversation start.
"So you are Dylans father?", a young looking woman with blonde hair asked Marcus, suddenly standing beside him.

"Please don't leave..."
It was too late, Logan was already gone and Marcus was swarmed by other parents in mere seconds.
"So you are Dylans father?"
"Y-yeah", Marcus replied.
For a second, he felt like being in middle school again. The weird kid out, getting asked all those questions. He didn't like it then, he wasn't now. So he fell backninto his police-self. He answered the questions short, honest and direct. Yes, he was Dylans father. Yes, he was somekind of policeman. Yes, he had a BOYfriend. Yes, he had a gun. No, he didn't brought it over and he secured it all the time out of Dylans reach. Blah blah blah. He felt, like he was the one being interrogated.
"What happened to your neck?", the blonde woman asked.
"Work", Marcus replied.
"Oh, c'mon, tell us! The most interesting thing that happened here was that racoon last week", someone else said.
Marcus sighed.
"Someone tried to cut my throat. Well, that someone succeeded on that. But the part with me dying didn't quite work out because this one", he gestured over to Logan, "wouldn't let that happen. Saved my life..."
It was the first time he was emotional while answering a question.
"I think, you two are cute. I mean, I don't care who someone loves but this is a boring ass place. You know l, you're kinda exotic."
Exotic? Really? So they were talking about sexuality now. Oh God, that was even worse.
Marcus let them talk and was not at all shocked that they had such a tiny view of the world. Should he really destroy that picture? Just for fun? Yeah, why not?
"So, how did you decide, who was going to be... you know... the father?", Blondie asked.
Perfect opportunity.
"We didn't. Dylan's mom didn't tell me about him for six and a half years-"
"So he's from a previous relationship?"
"Yes."
He could see the gears turning in their heads. Was he really gay? Was Dylan just the outcome of him experimenting? Was he bi? They had no idea. And Marcus left them like this. While they were thinking and discussing, he went to see the kids - including Logan - play some soccer. He watched his boy. Every time he smiled, he looked like his mother.
"They grow up so fast, don't they?"
Another woman sat down nextto him. She had beautiful red hair, lightly curled, pulled backninto a ponytail. Marcus could tell that she was tall and athletic. Pale skin, probably some irish genes, no freckles though.
"Not necessarily. The big one is mine as well", Marcus replied.
The woman smelled like oranges. Marcus liked oranges. And her soft laugh sounded great.
"Yeah, I got that. The others are still talking about it confused", she said.
"I have to admit, I kinda did that on purpose."
"Great escape tactic, actually. They can be pretty persistent."
"Yeah... which one's yours?"
"The red-head."
"Right... could've guessed that. Sorry."
"No, it's okay. Red hair isn't really a strong gene. Statistically it could've been any kid out here. Except your boy. He's pretty unique. Just like his father. Man, I would love to get my hands on a sample of you two... oh! Sorry, I'm geeking out about genetics again."
"Oh, please, go on. It's fascinating. And it's not glutenfree salad or happy cow steak."
She laughed. He laughed.
"So you're a geneticist?", Marcus figured.
She nodded: "Laura Burge, geneticist and bio-engineer, at your service."
Marcus shook her hand and introduced himself in a less theatrical way.
"It's nice to not be the odd one out anymore", she said.
"Only parent?", Marcus gyessed and earned another nodd.
"You're quite good at the cop-thing, aren't you?"
"Some.people say that, yes. I'm just good at noticing the details and not forgetting them."
Marcus shrugged.
They continued talking and it felt good. Laura was really nice. And man, she was a nerd! As soon as the conversation shifted over to movies, the two of them lost it. They dived head first deep down the rabbithole of directors, actors, classics, modern tripple-A blockbusters and so on and so forth. Marcus actually had a great time.

Logan played half heartily to give the kids a chance, he was almost bigger then this little backyard soccer goal thingy. Dylan noticed, of course and scolded him for it, but Logan didn't mind. They played some time and Logan always looked in Marcus direction, who was swarmed with people. Did he do okay? Did he need help? Was he angry because Logan left him alone?
"Logan watch out!", Dylan demanded and Logan smiled.
"Yeah yeah...", he sighed catching the ball and throwing it back to him.
"And have some fun!"
"Yeah yeah!"

Afte several minutes of playing Logan decided he had to check on Marcus. "Guys? You can play without more for some time right?
"Nooo Logan! We need you!", some boy of Dylans team yelled and they demanded a break of the game to discuss. "Okay Logan, wait one minute...", Dylan mumbled and put together heads with his friends. After a few words spoken they turned to the other team and asked them over. Logan raised an eyebrow and had a bad feeling about this.
"One Two Three....", Dylan whispered, before the kids ran at Logan and started chasing him playful. He felt like home a bit.