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The tent was busy, a lot of people were working and didn't even notice Louis crawling out of his trailer it seemed, at least they didn't swarm him anymore. Blair spotted him though and walked over to him. Before he could answer him though, Josiah was already there as well, basically shoving him out of the way. Josiah grabbed his hand and talked a bit too much, making Louis headache slightly worse. "I'm fine.", he reiterated for Josiah, who himself was still hurt and was better off not doing too …

Blair was odd. Why speak to Louis now? Why try to help him now when he was about to give up anyway? It didn't make sense, but Louis head hurt too much to think about it and figure out what it was he wanted. He told him he owed him for Roy, but that seemed odd. "You couldn't train with us more often than not, I remember.", Louis told him. A sickness was what claimed Blairs life, but he'd been sick plenty of times before. Louis wondered how the ringmaster decided who he called to his trailer, who …

"Ugh... it doesn't really matter, it's not like I could have hid this from anybody for too long.", Louis sighed. It was quite obvious, especially should he shun his tasks altogether now. He couldn't in good conscience, but at the same time he knew that Blair was right and that he needed rest. It wasn't up to him or anyone else, he was hurt and needed rest to heal. He'd just make it worse if he worked like this and he especially didn't trust himself with the equipment checking today. Everyone had…

"No I know... I just thought people might think he did. Wouldn't that get them on his case after they came here?", Louis wondered. Blair had a point though, the attention lay here it seemed. "You really don't have to get involved in this..." Louis wasn't sure if he appreciated it, or if there was anything Roy wanted to do anyway. For all he knew maybe Blair just wanted an ally against him, someone who hurt him before. Maybe he'd be better off going for his other self in that case though. Louis h…

"Wouldn't Roy feel the blunt of this...? We haven't been on good terms quite obviously, he was missing from one of the shows and now this... not that I think he did this, I was just overdoing it.", he added at the end. He didn't want to blame Roy for anything, from what he could remember, he felt dizzy and then he fell, that was all. It was just his own stupid mistake. Louis sighed and supported his head with his hand. He shortly looked at the breakfast, he wasn't hungry as always, but today he …

Louis was met with too many voices he could barely untangle and half of them at least probably wondered why it was Blair who helt the plate with breakfast. Usually he kept away from them, not that Louis was part of any of the groups that existed in their troupe. Blair already apologized, while everyone else tried to make their own concerns known and Louis furrowed his brows. "It's fine. I'm fine." The first bit was directed at Blair, the second to everyone else. Curiously enough Louis didn't spo…

Louis didn't know how to continue, he didn't know how to seem normal, as normal as he was since the fire anyway. Why did people even still worry about him? Blair supposedly too, of all people. Louis was aware that all of this happened for a reason, that the ringmaster gave him all of these tasks and not anyone else. Maybe he was intrueged, or he wanted Louis to accept his fate already, or maybe he just wanted to play like Roy and Alice. Knowing that didn't mean he could deal with it any better h…

Lucy felt odd and Josiah confused her. She wasn't sure what he thought about her, if she was still a little girl to him and if not what was she? All of this was confusing, but for the longest time she wanted more, she wanted him, not just for herself, but close. They spent so much time with each other and she enjoyed every single moment, whether they laughed together or cried together. Sometimes though Josiah wasn't truly here with her, or he brushed over her compliments as if she didn't try to …

"You don't have to achieve things to earn compliments. If you're starting like that, I'm telling you that you achieved being you by growing up and other people grew up into people I like less.", she answered. There was definitely a too humble. "You always think you're not good enough, but you're good enough for me, better than good enough. Doesn't that count for anything?" Sometimes it felt like the only person Josiah cared about was Louis and it hurt, especially today. He'd take compliments fro…

"But you earned them, by being you and by making me laugh and if I happen to like your height, I'm inclined to let you know." If he was taller he'd barely fit into his bed, how did James do that anyway? Maybe he had his bed in the trailer sideways? Or he curled up everytime he went to sleep. "Well they had to make it work with the macarons somehow, right?", Lucy asked with a smile. There surely were recipes available. Where those expensive? She didn't even know. Compared to Josiah she had so lit…

"When have you ever just accepted a compliment, hm? Maybe I just like you just the way you are.", Lucy asked with a smile. Josiah lived in his own head more times than he joined them in the real world, she knew that, but she was happy even more that he spent his time with her, in the here and now. "You can still grow, you're not that old. Just eat enough.", Lucy giggled a bit. "Spinach popcorn sounds disgusting but it would look neat if it was green, don't you think?" Josiah was the one who had …

"Not all my compliments are fabrications, actually none of them are. You're so bad at receiving them.", Lucy complained with a smile, but it was true. Josiah never wanted to see what was right with himself, only what wasn't and even then he made things up. "Maybe if not for the meat break, you'd be taller.", she teased, sticking out her tongue for a moment. "Well surely color is achievable with something that has a lot of it's own...? But not much taste I guess. Spinach maybe? Blueberries? Straw…

"You're tall enough, perfect even. When I talk to James I always have to bend my neck uncomfortably, your height is better.", Lucy chuckled. "I think you just wanted to make up the nutrient you missed out on to catch up with him." Josiah was cute and he was somewhat still the same, or would be, if Louis was still the same too. There was no way Josiah would forget about him and since Lucy cared for him deeply, maybe she should help Louis, to help Josiah, or something of that sort. "Who else? Also…

"I think it could have worked out, with some careful thinking.", Lucy chuckled, "But then you'd probably hadn't grown as tall as you are now." Suddenly she started laughing as she remembered something. "Wait, wasn't that how we got you to eat again? I think Louis was growing a bit taller and you were a bit behind and so we told you it's because you didn't eat right and we didn't need to say more for you to suddenly chow down a whole chicken." It had been so easy back then, but it felt easy right…

"I remember the times when you refused to eat meat altogether.", Lucy chuckled. That was a long time ago, but Josiah eventually didn't do all too well without any meat, so he relented. He was always so sweet and loving and even a chicken or pigeon was too precious for him to kill for his own sake. He changed, a bit at least, he probably still didn't want to kill anything, but he became a man and he felt dutybound at times. If it had to be done for the childrens or Lucys sake, he'd do it. He alwa…

"Most of the time, yes. But sometimes I just can't be around fatty stuff.", Lucy chuckled. Somtimes she just craved an apple or a pear. Winter was coming, so they'd not have any then and it was back to meat and bread and maybe sometimes some cheese. At least milk was around for the whole year. She wondered if they could have their own, for fresh milk, caring for one or two more animals wouldn't be that hard, right? "They are pretty at least, aren't they? So many colors... I wonder how they make …

Lucy looked up smiling when the door to Josiahs trailer finally opened. She quickly got up to take one of the plates off his hands and put it on the table. That gave him a hand to close the door behind him as well. "Thanks Jo.", she smile, sitting down again. "It's some incense... I hope you don't mind. I thought it might be nice, not that the smell otherwise bothers me. I didn't ask what it's supposed to smell of to be fair." Lucy giggled a little bit and took a dramatic whiff of the smoke ling…

It wasn't that easy, none of this was easy. Louis would love to talk, or simply not be alone, to be with his friend that had been like his brother years ago. He would today, he'd already given in before and let him come close again, there was no use pushing him away for the sake of making him leave, but this was different now. He didn't want to hurt him, he didn't want to hurt anybody, but he couldn't be sure what would happen. Sure with Roy it was close to the show, he'd tried to fight back, hi…

"Yes.", Louis quickly answered. He'd try at least, he couldn't promise more than that. "Like what? You don't even know what I'm talking about..." With a sigh he looked at Josiah, who always had to corner him somewhere, who never gave him the space he asked for. Sometimes he'd not look for him for days, but that was a good thing. Instead now like many other times he forced Louis into a corner, making him feel even more trapped than he already was. He was trapped in this circus, tied to the ringma…

"I'll eat it.", Louis answered, he'd at least try, even though he was sure it was futile. He wasn't hungry and forcing anything down felt like a chore. Half human, half whatever it was, he wasn't even sure if he needed to eat, or if he could die. He wasn't like Roy, but he just got up again. Well he was still hurt and it seemed annoying to him, but he wasn't dead, not even out of comission for a while. "I can't be around anyone right now." Talking about it wouldn't help and Louis rather didn't s…