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"Why would I think that? I really don't understand where you get that idea.", Lucy answered confused. Last time she spent the night felt good and Josiah listened while she cried and today was nice as well, with a warm dinner and a friendly face for once, a place where she didn't have to think about all the gloom and when the topic went there anyway, she knew she could talk openly to Josiah. Lucy tilted her head. "I feel like you're hiding your feelings from me already. I don't want to pressure y…

"You put yourself down too much.", Lucy retaliated, but left it there. Josiah always thought he wasn't good enough and Lucy didn't understand where that notion came from. It probably started with competing with Louis and then got worse when that guy didn't have any love left for Jo, for whatever reason. "As I said, it's just a funny fantasy. It won't happen, but that doesn't mean I can't think about how it would be." A little fantasy didn't hurt, much like thinking about how it would be to have …

"Like your act, huh? Hm..." Lucy wondered if anyone else took their profession into their personal life. Louis was certainly always acting and playing a role. James always was the strong one in body and made... and Roys tongue was as sharp as his knives. "You're too good Josiah.", Lucy sighed with a smile. She didn't want to bring up Louis, but he just showed why she just said that. He had no love for Josiah, quite the opposite and yet Jo still saw him as that young boy, as his best friend and e…

"Sometimes I forget how you always take everything to heart. It's not a bad thing, you know? You always want everyone to be happy and everyone to like you. Just know that that doesn't work out for every single person, hm? Sometimes you just have to be yourself. I like you how you are. You don't need to change, not for me and nor for anyone else." Especially not Louis who's affection Jo was always chasing, even more so since the accident, when Louis just stopped being his friend, all of theirs ac…

"I'm sorry, Jo, I'm just joking. You are perfect just the way you are.", Lucy smiled upon noticing that she maybe crossed a line just now. Josiah only ever saw his shortcomings and teases often stuck to him and he worried about what of it was true and if he needed to change something about himself to make others happy. "I mean you could ask him. I know you worry, all the time, but it could be really neat. We could try some things outside of the premise if you want? Even if it goes wrong, nobody …

"Is that truly the reason you didn't buy any before, or is it because you'd be scared o the consequences if it wasn't true?", Lucy asked chuckling. He took Josiah as a dreamy person, but also as someone who was incredibly self-conscious and scared of others judgement or not doing what he was asked to do, failing in essence even if what he brought was better than what he was tasked to bring. "It's probably also hard to make just a few, we don't have to buy as many.", she smiled and then listened …

"You seem like the kind of guy to uy magic beans, I'm surprised you always come back with everything we ask for.", Lucy smiled and she didn't mean it in a bad way. Josiah was just often idealistic and sweet and he wanted everyone to live a better life. If some magic beans could help, he'd probably buy them. "I don't think we stay long enough at one place to build something like that. We'd have to leave it behind... and we have the grills and stuff, they work well. Maybe it's somehow manageable, …

"I never said you're not allowed to carry anything, I just said I will carry things too.", Lucy explained with a giggle. Josiah was way too worried about her, actually about everyone, it wasn't just her, even though she kind of wished it to be. The people Josiah mentioned weren't her favorites sans James. "James is sweet, he just underestimates his strength all the time.", she chuckled and ignored the other examples, since she had nothing good to say about them. Roy was mean, always causing trou…

"Hmph, and let you carry all the stuff or what? No way!", Lucy refused. She was just as strong as the guys and Josiah was hurt and would be for days to come, so he wasn't the one who whould carry stuff around. "I won't get hurt, I'm carrying children around all day and help with the tent as well, it's not always you men doing everything, even though you'd like to think so. WIthout us you'd all be pretty lost.", she proclaimed. Sure, James strength was unrivaled but Josiah had weak little spaghet…

"What's that supposed to mean? I can pull my weight, I'm probably even stronger than you!", Lucy complained. There was really no need for Josiah to protect her, she worked just as much as the others here and even though she spent a lot of time with the kids, hosting them around wasn't easy either. Josiah would know himself anyway. "Hm, I think I want some macarons, I never had them but a lot of our customers talk about them. They are supposedly very good." And fancy, they never had something fan…

Ruth hammered home what Louis already knew and she presented it as if she had a solution. Instead he just wanted Louis to feel worse than he already did and he took it, not complaining, just listening, because he kind of deserved that. In the end Louis couldn't think of them as monsters that didn't deserve some dignity or empathy and he felt bad for what he did. It was only right if he was put down by them further, wasn't it? Yet Roy disagreed and challenged Ruth even. Was this some form of ploy…

Louis got the same answer twice, albeit differently told, which made him believe they told the truth. Then again both of them stuck together always, maybe it was another game. Either way, Louis chose to believe that they were all human once and then they stopped being themselves and became this, all by behest of the ringmaster for some reason. Still neither of them had a transformation taking this long it seemed. It's been years since the ringmaster showed his true face to Louis and still he was…

Louis sat there, a bowl of stew in his hands. He wasn't hungry, he rarely was, but now it was even worse. His hand shook a bit, mostly because the sight of Roys... corpse for a lack of a better word, was still present in his mind, very much so. Not only that, but also the fact that he was capable of doing something like that and even though he was curious about if it would even do anything, he shouldn't just take the chance, no matter who he was dealing with. He was scared of himself, scared of …

The air was heavy here, all of them looking at Louis worse than they would normally. It seemed even they had some form of comradery, something Louis was never able to find here or with the others. He couldn't even truly be mad at himself, because this wasn't his fault in a way. Nothing of it felt like himself and yet it put him into positions he'd rather not be in. He hurt Josiah, now Roy and it felt like a curse put upon him so he'd not fit in with anybody, so he'd just be alone for the rest of…

As Louis approached the little get together he already heard some bickering and once he turned the corner he saw Roy there, alive and well, more or less, as if he hadn't hat his throat cut. Louis somewhat hated the fact that he remembered every little detail of what he did when he didn't feel like himself and for a moment he was at a loss of words. He saw them as they were, demons and shadowy figures shimmering underneath their human looking facade, much like Louis himself when he looked in the …

Louis made do with the people he had left for the show. Josiah was better off resting and Roy... well, it was fine either way, the guests were happy and Louis was too. As always he wished the guests a happy evening when they left the big tent, mostly to go home, some to make one last trip around the circus to buy some sweets or a present for their children. It didn't take long for the last person to leave and Louis closed the big gates to their home. As soon as they were closed, as was usual, he…

"Didn't you all find that very funny, that I was protecting the wrong one? That the wrong one died? She knew, I am sure you did too...", Louis let out through grid teeth. His headache grew worse but he refused to give in. They could have told him, Alice led him astray but it was his own fault for listening to her. Even after all that Louis still felt bad for losing his temper and pushing her, but her grin then told him that that was the reaction she looked for from the start. Roy wasn't any diff…

Lucy was happy Jo listened to her and wanted to spend some time alone. Maybe it was selfish to hog him for herself tonight, but sometimes it was alright to be selfish. "You don't have to make anything up to me.", she smiled. Jo looked happy for once, the last couple weeks, even before the accident, had been rough on him and Lucy rather saw him smile. Her cheeks turned red when he tugged her hair behind her ear, she was selfish in this moment too. For a few seconds she met Josiahs gaze and her he…

"No, no! That's not what I meant, I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying I could use a break tonight after the show and... I'd rather not be alone.", she quickly told Jo after he seemed to feel responsible for her stressful day. "She's... She won't eat or come out of her trailer. I'm... I'm sure she just needs some time." Conny was everything but fine, she blamed herself for what happened to Leila and she was angry and disappointed about how her body was handled, how she just vanished. Lucy unders…

When Gin came Kosuke stopped and looked up at him. This was new for him, not for Gin probably abd Kosuke slowly got up with a small nod, taking Gins suggestion. He went to the next room, into his little bath that barely was one. He spit out any remains and washed his mouth with some water. He drank some too. He had no shower here, not even warm water, just a toilet and a small sink. He grabbed a fresh small towel, wetting it under the water and hoping it wasn't too cold. With it he came back out…