bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

“War’s never fun, but I’m glad they found one another. It seems like they were close … I’d like to be close to you like that.”, he blurted out, knowing better, yet causing a ruckus on purpose. Nothing was earned, much like many things weren’t awarded. Yujin felt as if no matter how deep he fell, how far he sank and ultimately however far down it it was that he came to a halt, he finally understood that this wasn’t the lowest point of his life, it never had to be - Richard would pick him back up as he had picked him up. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Daring to question his entire family would lead nowhere, the penchant for the less than mundane was established long before him or Richard even were a splotch on anyones mind. Why was it that this mans family was seemingly so into wolves, then? No, it wasn’t even that - it seemed as if they were all born weird, with strange tastes that nobody else had. Yujin found it funny. “What about that Fhaergus place you mentioned? I’d like to try.” Anywhere was better than Silesse at this point, no matter how far they’d be from his fathers’ looming grasp, Yujin convinced himself they’d be crunched underfoot by him. He tired of these dumb games with an old man. “You have to start somewhere and yes, I know what you mean. Next time it’s your turn, but let’s hope that never has to happen again.”

Being consumed by rage, hatred, revenge and breathing for it, living it, wasn’t Yujin’s style. Whether he would stay as he was before or change was not up for him to decide, even then, he realized that, within the grander scope of things, he never once wanted to be someone that was consumed by his own emotions, then run around in a never ending cycle, an ouroboros of hurt, no matter what. Chasing after Richards lips was futile - Yujin relaxed his tense body with a heaving sigh, expelling a wordless breath from his mouth. “You weren’t difficult. You needed time and space. That’s the least I can give you.” A dream come true, to bed himself next to the only person he’d ever desired in his - albeit still short - lifetime. What wouldn’t he give to stay by his side now and forevermore? Nimble fingers moved to move the pendant - the nightstand - as he let Richard continue this, which ultimately would turn into a dozing session, at least at Yujins usual behest it had to. What he didn’t expect was the innate closeness, the desire for more than just cloth on cloth contact and Richard, who seemed to want a piece of the same pie, was seemingly tugging at him like a present, meant to be unravelled sometime between now and soon. “Not at all. Go on. However far you want. Wherever your mind takes you.”, Yujin mumbled the go ahead, his heart picking up the earlier slack - he could feel it thrumming, going higher and drowning out the pain again, all the while he stole another kiss from Richard, like he’d been starved for them for too long.

"Close enough to have children? I'm too young for that.", Richard replied with hushed voice, joking for once. He wasn't even sure if he ever wanted children. This world was cruel after all. "It was good for my parents, it's good for me. Maybe not ending up here, but ending up with you." They still talked as if they were teenagers didn't they? By now they both grew up, but Richard often enough still felt like a child. When he was a teen, he thought he was so much smarter than anyone else, especially Nayantai and now he was humbled and wished for his fathers advice. He already got his blessing, that much he knew. "It might be like a hot summer day in winter for you and in summer... well at least you get to see all sorts of flowers." He always wanted to show Yujin a meadow. "Well whatever is going on now, I'll help you. I'm sorry for abandoning you the past couple weeks, for being scared and not fighting for you. I want to fight for you." In his own way, however much he could, which wasn't a lot right now.

"I had enough time away from you, I don't want it anymore.", he told Yujin, giving him another soft kiss. As he was allowed to go on, he opened the sash that held Yujins clothes together, then he slid his clothes off his shoulder, on the one side he didn't lie on. Richard kissed him again, tasted his lips and tongue and ultimately pushed Yujin on his back. There was some hesitation here and there, but Richard through all his worries to the wind. Why would he be scared of anything that had to do with Yujin? He's seen the state of his body too in the baths, multiple times. Richard climbed on top of him, removing his own sash and grabbing Yujins hand. He didn't get out of his own clothes, partly because he was still a bit reserved and partly because he was cold, but he led Yujins hand past his clothes onto his chest to tell him that it was okay to touch him. He wasn't sure if he could handle about anything and he definitely felt like he could change his mind if he ended up under Yujin, but he felt fine like this, good even. The soft flickering light of the fire illuminated Yujins body. He did look stronger and more muscular than Richard remembered him from the other times he saw him from this perspective. Possibly even more than Richard looked like about a year ago. He couldn't possibly say he disliked it.

"Not that close, we need to see more of the world ourselves first.", Yujin chuckled. What good was it having kids this early, tying themselves down and waiting for something that never would come to pass to no avail? He didn't want to regret any of this, not that he thought he would, but he most certainly thought they should take it slow, in case something else came up. Right now, this was about them, not how their relationship would or should progress. "Ending with me? That makes it sound like you never will meet anyone else again. Don't worry, I'm glad to have met you as well. I wouldn't want it any other way." Lady Luck smiled upon him in the most questionable of instances and Yujin braved preciously few of them at times, not coming to a satisfying conclusion when he just went over them in his head. Regardless, however, he was now the one that found that, no matter how much he held back, in the end he'd always crave the same things. "Flowers? I'd do anything for you, the flowers are just a bonus." A really good one he didn't want to miss out on. Hadn't Richard said he wanted to show him more than he knew once upon a time? Yujin recalled something at the edge of his mind. "I'm happy for your help, really, but it's alright. I respect your boundaries, as you respect mine. I just want you to know that I have zero intention of being with anyone else." He'd need to stop messing around, then.

"Are you sure?", he cautiously asked. Nothing was more important than Richards own feelings, not even Yujins own, to him at least. Letting him do what he wanted, kissing him back ever so hungrily as he felt the chill of the room around them creep around exposed skin, peeled layer for lair, was blissful enough to not want to forget even the slightest bit of it. Richard acting like this took him back to, to when they were fooling around before he left, when the world seemed a little less real to him and not as gloomy at times, when all he had to go off was both Richards word and the stories that his parents had told him as a child, much like precious little gifts. What was more, it seemed a sense of normalcy was persisting, as if nothing had ever happened to either of them and Yujin, who was sure his hands were colder than usual, fumbled a slight bit with Richards layers to get his hands between them and his skin, gently roaming the expanse all while pulling him closer. Being trapped underneath him like this stirred some more memories at the back of his mind - they made him feel embarrassed, made him feel warm all over and upped the peristance of his own touches. The fire, feeding warmth to the room from the singular hearth in a castle of ice, was a nice backdrop, giving Richard an almost glowing outline which, to Yujin, made him seem even more like an angel. "See something you like?", Yujin chuckled, lifting himself slightly to pull Richard down into another kiss, much less innocent right out of the gate. He'd missed this.

Richard wasn't sure if he was up for adventures anymore, for seeing the world, all he wanted was some place he could just live his life at without anyone having it out for him. Yujin however had never seen anything else than Silesse, so it was only fair if he wanted to see more and discover new things. "You gifted me a pendant, I gifted you one, I think that also means I'm not going to meet anyone else again.", Richard told Yujin. Maybe he took his proposal of sorts back, he said he wanted to do it again and right too and maybe he also didn't take Richards gift that seriously, not today and in this rash manner. Fair enough. "It'll not be as hot as in the bath if that helps.", Richard smiled. "I don't know if you can call lack of commitment a boundary." Richard didn't let himself off the hook that easily. He was disappointed in himself for almost throwing everything away, just because he was too weak to deal with Yujins family too.

"With all of the things happening around us, I shouldn't waste any time.", he explained. If he was sent away or something was to happen to Yujin, or he was to marry Yin after all and left, Richard would have wasted the time he still had with him. Being scared and feeling unsafe should give him even more incentive to stay close to Yujin, not less. Besides, the first time he was here he aways did the opposite of what people wanted him to, why change that. Yujin found his way under all the layers of clothes Richard wore, his touch felt hot and cold at the same time. When he felt the pull he leaned foward to kiss Yujin once more, a shiver running down his spine. His skin was full of bumps and bruises, unlike back then when he only had a singular scar he hated. "You've grown strong.", he mumbled an answer. "I'm jelous." Richard wanted to be strong again as wel, he wanted to be able to fight and claim what he wanted, nor hope nobody took anything from him again.

Richard wasn't wrong. They were now meant to be and Yujin wouldn't kick that sort of promise like he had done the other times - Richard being his fiancé was wholly different to Yin, whom he never loved in the first place, or even spent a single tender moment like this with without being coerced into it first. In the past he'd have hated to admit it, solely as to not hurt anyones feelings but now he was more than happy to spend the rest of his days with someone that cared about him, not anyone else. "That makes you my fiancé, you know? I never exchanged anything with Yin, so you're my first ... I couldn't be happier, but I'm sure you know that.", Yujin confessed, sounding astounded that he even remembered as much as that and at the same time, it didn't matter. As long as he had Richard he wanted no one else - hell, he couldn't be assed to even think of anyone else anymore. All that mattered to him was a single person. "Mhm, that's already good enough." Better than in the baths, then, which surely he'd miss. "I would say you can. You also have more to deal with than my families issues, so I can't really blame you. You're here to get better, not entangle yourself in this mess."

"You're not wrong.", he mumbled away. Yujin wanted to be done and over with this as well, not this relationship but this situation that seemed to eat away at both of them for no proper reason other than it endangered both their relationship and lives, which seemed awfully convenient given their circumstances. Yujin wanted to lose himself again, if just for tonight, if just in the embrace of a man that loved him as dearly as he did him. Every second apart was one too many, every moment not spent by one anothers side a moment wasted. Richard still seemed like paper beneath his fingers, thinner than his conscious mind could ever recall him, yet soft in parts - it was already getting better than it had been before he came here and things like that took time. They had plenty of that now. "Jealous? You flatter me.", Yujin chuckled. "I loved you before and I love you like this. I liked it when you held me before, I felt save and now I want to make you feel save - that sounds kitschy, doesn't it? Maybe I should shut up and keep kissing you." Lovestruck like always, no matter who he was - Yujin dove in for yet another kiss, of course.

"It feels weird to be called that...", Richard admitted. This sounded like a thing old people did and they weren't that old. Why waste time though? Richard didn't want someone else and he also wouldn't meet someone else. They probably wouldn't get married, but Richard didn't care about that anyway and it didn't matter politics wise either. Xu got Silesse, Dayan had Adrestia, there was no need to tie their blood together and it wouldn't fly in Adrestia anyway. Richard knew how his fathers were a couple and married under Thrian customs but without the former king, Nayantai was and had nothing in the eyes of Adrestia. Dayan has been officially adopted, so it was easier for him, but even then, everyone knew he didn't share their former kings blood, while Richard did. "We also have baths though, not as big ones, but a cozy tub for two.", Richard smiled, thinking about other things that weren't politics. "But that's over and I shouldn't let it linger. Aramis is dead, Lucien is weirdly on my brothers side and Ares? Well he won't be coming here and he won't be allowed to hunt my down." or so he tried to tell himself.

They kissed again and Richard took in the warmth Yujin gifted him. He liked feeling his hands on his skin again, albeit it feeling somewhat dull. He couldn't even locate where exactly he touched him when he didn't touch one of the few patches of skin without any scarring on them. "I want to be strong again. I want to protect those I love. I failed before, I can't be doing that again." Richards voice broke. He didn't want to ruin this moment, but he couldn't help but blame himself still and his weakness. If Yujin were to be hurt and he couldn't do anything about it, he'd never forgive himself. If he died, Richard would die too. He wanted to train again, pick up a sword again, he wanted to scuffle with Yujin too, just for fun without being easily overpowered. He didn't want to be weak, if he got even stronger than Ares than he would also become an annoyance at best.

"Don't like it? If I called you my sunshine you'd just find a way to tell me you're not that sunny at all.", he teased Richard. They had known each other for a little while too long and with new old memories, Yujin felt confident in his assumption that his beloved, at times, worried too much about the wrong things. Nothing was going to get him out here, much like Yujin wouldn't suddenly turn on him - he'd make sure to protect him, come what may and scare off anything that got any stupid ideas. "Cozy tub for two, hm? Come to think of it, we never shared the tub in the hut, did we? I think it'd be a bit crammed but we'd be close." No big baths like the one they had at home then, he'd learn how to cope somehow and if not, he'd simply dig himself one - he still was thrian, not adrestian and following every single custom of the other country didn't seem feasible enough anyhow. "He'll hunt anyone down, especially not you. I know I'm probably no match for him but I'm not my fathers son for nothing. Fighting with honor isn't his forte.", Yujin confessed with a giggle, pulling Richard onto his lap, the pain in his leg long forgotten, even as it hammered on. He'd manage, somehow. "You know, I could call you my dove, my sweetheart, my beloved ... but I have a feeling that'd be quite over the top." Richard was fine, wasn't it?

His hands roamed uncharted territory, scars he couldn't see but feel, skin he had touched a long while ago, now replaced by tissue that burdened the man that bore it. Picking his studies back up would be hard, he was sure of that, but he could help Richard, not fix him, just help him, given the long gone wounds seemed a point of contention. "I'll train with you if you want that, how about it?", he offered, only half listening like he always did, much busier with cherishing what he was given right now, like a present he'd not expected anytime soon. Was he going to unravel it? He thought about it, only to reconsider and pull Richard closer, into a hug, onto himself now that he lay on his back. "We're not going to go to Adrestia to get revenge this time but to just be away from any trouble. It'll be fun and this time I'm with you. Four eyes are better than two and six are better than four.", Yujin reminded him, rubbing Richards back with a certain softness. "You still worry plenty."

"Because I'm not.", Richard told Yujin, agreeing with his assumption. "The tub in the hut is not big enough and besides, the reason we don't have a gigantic bath is because we don't just have a flow of hot water underneath our house. Servants have to warm up the water and bring it in, it's a lot of work and even more work the bigger the tub. In Myriad my father had some plan for pipe systems, but it was never built.", he explained to Yujin who sometimes was so silly and shortsighted. What did he think how the rest of the Sillessians got their water hot? By the time the next bucket of water was heated up, the water left would already be cold again with a size of their bathroom. "He beat Nayantai as if it was no effort at all.", he told Yujin to give him an idea of how strong he was. It took only one or two minutes to incapacitate them both and Richard still felt the sting on his back from when his sword parted his flesh all the way to his spine. That scar wasn't superficial at all. "Sorry I didn't mean to mention any of this...", he mumbled, gripping the sheet underneath his hands. "Nicknames are kinda of embarassing."

Richard closed his eyes for a moment, he just wanted to feel Yujin touch his frail body. "Maybe I can teach you something, your footwork is terrible." He wanted to just be normal and tease Yujin a bit and yes he wanted to get stronger again. He was capable of picking up a sword, so why shouldn't he train? "Still, we don't know what might happen. I want to protect you." Richard let himself be pulled down and shoved his arms under Yujin to hug him back. "Sorry, I kind of ruined this... I can't shut off my brain...", he apologized mumbling. How did he do that before? They used to just meet up, find a bed and sleep with each other, it seemed so easy and now Richard was constantly distracted by so many things.

"Dove it is, then.", Yujin decided for them both, amid the embarrassment sinking its claws deep into his very being. He wanted none of this not too long ago, wanted to be free of shackles that seemed very much self imposed at times and yet, he agreed to the silliest of things, putting himself back in binds that he never once ought to wear before. "Mh, sounds like a pain in the ass. It'd be easier if those pipes had actually been built, but we can leave that for when we actually get there." Maybe they could do their own part once they got back, though, Yujin was sure Richard would be happy to be with his brother and father and not waste away the rest of his life in some secluded place elsewhere, just to appease the needs of the man he wanted to marry. Happiness was something one seemingly had to bargain for, something that every groove in Richards skin, every marred cut, every scar told a story for. Finding what one once desired seemed like an impossible task, grander than ascending past the need of what reality should provided them with already - Yujin didn't know what he wanted, he was happy with what he had, however. "Then I have to keep at it." Which was to say Richards father surely was one opponent he'd have to face to test his mettle - first, though, he had to beat Muhan. "It's okay, you can't help it and keeping it all bottled up doesn't help."

Yujin mused about many things at times, sometimes stupid other times less than that. "Give it a few years.", he tried to reason, having grown attached to a nickname he didn't have to use way too quickly. Nothing to gain, nothing to lose. Richard lay in his arms all the same, not much different from before and Yujin pulled him close, cuddled with him, would promise him the stars and the moon if he so desired. "I'd be quite happy if you did. A good foundation is key, no? I did manage to beat Muhan once, I think that was mostly the anger getting to me, though." The part where he always caved his fathers face in was ommitted for good reason - he didn't need to make Richard scared of him and he knew himself how uncalled for it had been, how deeply entrenchend he was within his own anger. Eagerness replaced that right now, hopefully for longer than just a few seconds as his hands found something more to do, peeling Richard slightly, the outermost layer being a nuisance he wanted to get rid of. "Mhm, I won't stop you. We should train soon enough then - which means you should eat plenty, even if you don't feel like it." Before long he'd burn himself out without any of it. "Ruined what, exactly? Do you really think I thought we were already going that far again?", Yujin laughed, sliding one hand beneath the warm fabric again. "We have all the time in the world. What do you want? Just stay like this? I'm fine with it. But I'll do whatever you want, however you want it."

"Why that name?", he asked. Yujin was just teasing him and probably picked the most ridiculous one on purpose. "What do you think how I took a bath in the hut? Or how your friends wash themselves?" Did Yujin never think about this? Nobody around here had fancy pipes or a giant natural hot spring under their roof. "Besides you're probably so warm in Myriad, that you just want to take a cold bath anyway." That probably counted as warm in Yujins book too. The water wouldn't be freezing cold after all. There would be so many things he would be so confused about. Richard at least visited Thria before, not Silesse specifically, but he still knew a thing or two. "I've wasted enough time thinking about all of that...", Richard let out with a sigh. Whatever he did these thoughts got in the way and stopped him from doing what he actually wanted to do. Richard rolled his shoulder, the scar on his back didn't hurt, the sting was only in his head, he was aware.

"You want me to be embarrassed for years to come?", Richard retaliated, but Yujin was just the nickname type. "Nayantai always said fighting angry is bad, even though he did it all the time in his youth. My grandfather said something similar, but he tended to be a bit cryptic sometimes." Both of them actually, but usually serious topics were reserved for his parents, not his grandparents. As Yujin got rid of some of Richards clothes he let him, as long as he had at least on layer, though being on top had the disadvantage of not being kept warm by Yujin. "I know, I am." He'd been eating all he was given even if it took him half the day to finish the food, he got it down eventually. He used to be able to eat so much... Richard looked at Yujin who waited more than enough already in his opinion. "I said I didn't want to waste my time anymore... but I still feel unsightly, no matter what you say. You wouldn't tell me I'm ugly to my face either way, not that I think that you think that. It's just... just seeing my arms like that, this body doesn't feel like mine..." That's why he liked keeping his sleeves down and at least shield most of his body from himself. "Anyway, I know what I can do." Richard smiled a little, then grabbed the blanket to put over his head, before sliding down, hiding underneath. His body was no issue if nobody could see it, they weren't prepared for anything anyway - they would have needed to go to Yujins room for that - but he could still be in control, on top, hidden and all the other things he seemingly needed if he didn't want this to go downhill. Well, he did go down for now, kissing a path over Yujins stomach and maybe this would also make him forget his pain for a while longer. His hands pulled on Yujins pants.

"To annoy you, why else?" One more joke added to his pile was hardly anything Richard couldn't deal with - Yujin still wanted to mean it. "I'm not saying I don't know, I just think it's an inconvenience for everyone involved to get the bath filled in the first place. Your dad sounds a bit more considerate and smart is all I meant." He never had a chance to meet that man and yet, he couldn't help but feel like he would have gotten along with him, maybe even been scared of him; king was a large title to bear and the thrian queen was enough of a pain in everyones ass about most things. "But you won't and I don't want to stop bathing with you. I'll brave the heat for you.", he mumbled, rubbing Richards back a bit more. How far was it until they were free from his families grasp? Yujin felt almost bad for plotting something like that, for running away without anyones permission but what other choice did he have? Not once had anyone else except Richard stopped to think about what he might want and therefore, they had played their little games amongst themselves, Yujin nothing more than a figure on a board that wasn't tilted in his favor. "No time's wasted like that. It's alright." He wouldn't ever tire of saying that, would he now?

"Yes.", Yujin chuckled right into his face, making his grand scheme known to the man he loved more than he could ever love himself. "They aren't wrong, probably. I don't think fighting angry is a good idea, anyway. No matter how good of a motivator it tends to be." If one fell back to anger, eventually they'd find that there was nothing to be gained there, only lost, but Yujin hadn't made that experience yet - he hoped he never would, simply to keep himself away from his idiotic thoughts. "I know." For the most part. Keeping a close eye on Richard all the time was impossible, not when they needed a bit of a healthy distance to one another here and there. "Unsightly? I know what could help with that, I just don't know if it'll work. No matter what, though, you are you.", he expressed with a smile, bigger and better than the earlier ones. Making someone else believe his words was harder than just spouting them, nimble fingers were hardly ever enough to just fix what was wrong in the first place - it needed brains over brawn, a plan, no shortcomings, only methodical precision. "You do? Show me.", Yujin was the one demanding this time around, none the wiser as to what Richard had planned. Perhaps he should have seen it coming, perhaps he was too much of a lovesick idiot in this moment to connect the obvious dots in his mind, but when Richard fled from his gasp inch by inch, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake and grabbed his pants, Yujin couldn't help but snort in amusement. "Should've thought of that.", he whispered and helped by lifting himself off the mattress for a bit, eventually discarding his pants down the side of the bed.

"What if I called you... uh... Magpie then?", he asked, it was the most fitting bird he could think of and he wasn't sure if Yujin even know how one looked like. He mainly wanted to annoy him back but it wouldn't work probably. "It's just how these things work." Shrugging his shoulders he didn't think that thought further. Sure new things were invented all the time, especially in times of peace, but in the end it has just always been that way. Thrians tended to be a bit more hands on however, even here where they had plenty of servants. "You don't have to. If this weather is not killing me, I can jump in a Adrestian river no problem." He wasn't wrong there. The temperatures in Silesse was easily killing most people not born here. As a half breed he still had his issues with it, but for the most part he was fine if he only wore enough clothes. "I think it is.", he ten refused, his time better spent elsewhere.

"I miss brawling with you too, you know?" Just exhausting themselves over something silly, Richard wanted to be this dumb and carefree again. He wasn't even that carefree then but it was much worse now. "Help? Some food, some training, but the scars won't fully go away no matter what." Richard didn't have any illusions regarding that. Hopefully some of them would just fade away. Anyway, enough of that, Richard could hide away under the blanket and still please Yujin. He felt like this was long overdue and if the prince of Silesse should want him, he had to work for it at least a little bit, didn't he? Once Yujins pants were discarded somewhere on the floor, Richard slowly but surely went to work. He wondered if Yujin simply hooked up with someone at the den, Richard didn't mind if so, or if he took care of it himself. Richard hadn't been in the right headspace for anything like that anyway and maybe he still wasn't, but doing this was fine, no thoughts he needed to chase away and he finally got to give something back to Yujin too.

"Doesn't that imply I stole something? Like ... your heart?", he returned the question, grinning from ear to ear. Yujin was someone that, by any means, was never entirely innocent or complicit with anything, much less someone elses ideas or plans for something. This time around, he wasn't even the one with the plan - not that he ever was - those mostly fell back onto Richard. It didn't have to be that way in the future, Yujin could think about things now without worrying that a dark void would swallow them, sink its teeth into his thoughts and pull them under the day after, jaws shredding and ripping every semblance of it into thin strips, akin to the bloody mess a shark left behind after driving its endless jaws into an unfortunate thrian, dumb enough to paddle far out. "I suppose so." What more was there? Probably a lot - Yujin knew nothing about Adrestia, aside from speaking its language to the fullest. "The river won't get us clean, though. I'll share a bath with you, whenever and wherever, no matter the temperature." He meant it, too. Love was a fickle thing, a flame in need of constant supervision and nourishment but once it prospered, that care couldn't be sidelined, either. "You don't have to keep blaming yourself."

As much as it was Richards fault then, it was his own. If only he had been more useful back then, for anything, really, he could have helped him in some way, maybe even made sure he never went back and if that were the case, perhaps none of this would have had to happen like that. Yujin would've been fine living the rest of his days in stupor if he had Richard by his side, that much was apparent. "We could still do that, it's not like you'd break every bone because I touch you a little." The cushioning was missing but as long as Yujin wasn't too harsh on Richard who said they couldn't do it? This was silly. "They'll fade over time. Maybe you'll feel more like yourself once you train a bit, worth a try, no?" Everything would help, Yujin figured and if not, they could still try and make amends to the scars that Richard didn't seem to want to bear. As Yujin considered everything ever so carefully, their conversation died and the head that had dipped beneath a blanket a while ago moved again - what was he even expecting of Richard? Yujin didn't know, but he knew himself he was pent up either way and he'd done a good job holding back up until now, making this some sort of reward in his mind. The question that remained was if he deserved a reward in the first place.

"Oh shut up...", Richard sighed, trying not to chuckle. Richard had a hard time answering like this, he was busy after all and he wanted to make it enjoyable for Yujin. He did notice that even kneeling like that was somewhat taxing though, not because he was so weak, but because he used his legs a lot today and just from that he'd probably have sore muscles tomorrow. At least his hair was long enough to twist it and just throw over his back by now, it used to just be in the way with an awkward length. Still, he could have and should have done this sooner and he would keep blaming himself, much as he hated the fact that he couldn't bring himself to do more than this. He wanted more today, but in the end thinking about it more than a hot second, he didn't feel ready for it and he feared something could simply set him off.

"I don't want you to go easy on me... but I also don't want to lose all the time...", Richard answered during a short break, before going back to it. There was no way he could defeat Yujin and if he was pinned down, he wasn't sure how he would take it. He also wasn't sure how much his body would cooperate and the same went for training. He didn't hold a sword since and sometimes his back hurt from just simply sitting. This was about Yujin though, about making him feel better and showing him that Richard was serious. Richard still knew what he liked ans he used his knowledge of his body. It didn't take long for Yujin to finish, Richard suspected maybe he didn't meet with anyone else and because Richard didn't want a big mess in his bed, he was fine with swallowing everything down. He wiped his mouth with his arm before he emerged again from under the blanket and bedded his head on Yujins shoulder.

"I'm the wrong guy for that." Shutting up, that was. Yujin always ran his mouth, just as much as his hands and fingers, maybe even his tongue if Richard would let him but that was really besides the point. What mattered was the two of them got along, and what was even more important was that the two of them got to spend time together again, hopefully for a long time. "I can arrange that, just for you.", he sweetly told him, as if that was hard to do as a prince of a nation filled with people that would much rather spend time with him than their own, as long as they believed to be getting something from it, anything at that point if they weren't picky enough. Yujins heels dug into the sheets below the moment Richard dedicated some much needed time to him - while grateful, he was much needier than anticipated and likely spoiling the moment, too. Who had time for these things? How did Richard even ...? He gasped for air as his pulls quickened and lamented that he was read like an open book, just like that, a quickshot if he had to judge himself. Just as fast as Richard had disappeared, he appeared once more and Yujin wrapped his arms around him again as if he'd left him all alone for way too long.

"Does that count ... as a win? For ... you?", he asked, still trying to regain his breath and making light of the situation. Just like that, he kissed the first part of Richards head he could reach and rubbed his back. Was he to return the favor? Richard didn't seem like he wanted to undress, nor did he act like he really expected it - Yujin felt bad, just laying there and playing with some strands of hair. They could do it with clothes on, kind of at least, even if it would get rather stuffy and would ruin at least one, if not two pairs of pants - despite the blankets, he still felt exposed and Richard hardly doubled as a good coverup, should someone come looking for them, whatever reason they may have. And yet, it was so peaceful, Yujin enjoyed himself for the time being - the world felt whole for a moment as his chest heaved and then it was wedged apart again. Yujin wasn't mad about it, just eager to go do something with his time, get something done - just about anything, whatever it may be. "I want to repay you, too.", he mumbled.

Richard didn't think Yujin was a quickshot or that he ruined the moment at all, if anything Richard didn't have a lot of stamina anyway. He was just happy Yujin enjoyed it, he was happy to be able to do something for him, to make him feel good after he demanded so much of him all the time. Yujin spent so much time fixing him, both times Richard was here. First he had to tame him, had to keep up with his moods and sassy attitude and then he spent days at Richards side, in his bed, just holding and cuddling him as if that didn't bore him after a while. "Hardly a win for me.", Richard replied placing a kiss on Yujins chest. He liked to be just hear, but he felt oddly calm while Yujin still caught his breath and his body was hotter than was the norm. Richards fingers drew some patterns on Yujins skin and listened to his quickened and strong heartbeat. For now at least it seemed like the pain he felt before subsided, or was at least bearable.

As they lay there Yujin was the one saying something first. "Oh uh... no need.", Richard replied, quickly. Yujin knew that he didn't need to, he wanted to. "I... don't know if I can shut off my brain enough.", he admitted. He also didn't know what little thing could send his brain into a spiral, but he also realized Yujin really wanted this and would do whatever Richard tell him. He'd stop to if he wanted him to. Richard shifted a bit under the blanket and slid slightly off of Yujin, laying on his side. He didn't want him down there, even if it was dark under the blanket and he wasn't sure if he felt comfortable to actually have sex, but he was fine being touched. Well not always, but now he was and he felt like if Yujin didn't explore too much, he didn't change all that much anyway. "I think I might be fine with just your hand..."

What had been like before this? Less tender, more heated and usually it devolved into sex with the two of them - it didn’t matter why, it simply was. A cherry on top, something quick to sweeten the deal or heady to rid oneself of thoughts more questionable than carnal desire. All that had devolved into nothingness upon Richards return, for reasons Yujin needed no culprit for, but accepted as a fact, a happenstance. The tides seemed to turn in his favor today, once more lapping at him as if he bore an answer to their questions, seemingly long forgotten by the current of time, flowing steadily between a world that had once been and another that was to be. Yujin giggled out of nowhere, sounding even more excited now. “Why? You did this to me with so little effort, no? I’d say that is a win for you.”, he mused, desire shoehorned into the undertone of his voice, like a badly hidden secret. What made Richard so irresistible to him, their bond aside? Was it his personality? The way he carried himself? The fact no one but Yujin got the privilege of seeing him like this? It ought to be an answer most plausible and yet, it escaped him even now when he dedicated actual time to it. There didn’t need to be an answer, right?

“No need? I insist.” He’d feel bad if he didn’t, like he was the only one that received gifts when Richard sat right there, next to him, ignored like he wasn’t worth anyone’s time. That was one of the worst feelings, something Yujin didn’t want him to experience - he was coddling him now, acting like Richard couldn’t fend for himself and maybe that was what he saw him as sometimes. Innocent, shy, scared underneath an exterior made of dented iron, buried by pride and rage. Now that said exterior had been worn away, some parts of the former core remained, changed and unrecognizable to most but not the one that forgot everything else in his life. “I’ll make it shut off, and if it doesn’t work, you tell me and we’ll stop.”, Yujin assured him, knowing where the boundary lay. Richard didn’t stand to gain anything from stumbling from one traumatizing situation into the next and Yujin also didn’t want to be the cause of any of them. “That I can do.” As Richard relented, Yujin was the one that turned onto his side to face him, kissing him to serve as a distraction - he played with the waistband of Richards pants for a bit before sticking his hand in. He’d make both of them savor it somehow and adjusted a little to kiss Richards throat instead.

"I wouldn't have minded if you found someone else you know, just for the time being...", Richard mumbled, assuming why he'd gotten Yujin undone so quickly in the first place. "Someone in the den or... just doing it yourself." Richard wasn't big on sharing, but in this case why make Yujin wait for so long? Besides, if it was only physical, Richard wasn't worried in the first place. Yujin slept with all of his friends and some point, didn't he? What was one more night? It wasn't fair to not commit but also demand loyalty. Richard didn't sleep with anyone else, he didn't have the time and then he didn't have the energy and also didn't even think about it, but their circumstances were different after all. "I'm just standing in my own way all the time..." Richard sighed. He wanted this, he wanted more and yet he couldn't bring himself to do it. Like he couldn't bring himself to a lot of things, some of them very simple like going outside or eating.

"I trust you.", he let out and let Yujin put his hand between them. The touches were soft and hesitant. It gave Richard time to reconsider, but he shook that feeling off. Instead he pulled Yujins head up again and kissed him. He needed a kiss, he needed Yujin right there as close as possible, occupying him. When he touched Richard he flinched for a moment. It had been so long, but the up and down of today definitely did something to Richard. Again, he wanted this, it was simply hard to execute it seemed. Richard pulled his pants down himself, he didn't mind Yujin touching him there and like this he had better access. "More...", he asked of Yujin who was a bit too careful right now. He moaned quietly into the kiss and put his arms around Yujin, holding on to him and eventually exchanged the kiss for air.

"And I didn't want to. I remember you saying you don't mind, but it would be unfair." If Richard couldn't, then Yujin shouldn't - that had been his reasoning so far, nevermind that he probably was off the mark with it. Did he care now? Yujin couldn't even be sure, hell, he couldn't even really check in with him for it. "Is it that obvious?", he asked with a chuckle, knowing it had to be. Nothing else would have met Richard point it out like that, but it was fine. There was nothing to be gained from keeping something like that a mystery, nothing to be gained from not being honest with both himself and his lover when it was so plainly obvious what had happened, which was clearly not anything at all. Regardless of what that spelled out for them, he just enjoyed that, at the tail end of it all, they were getting through to one another ina way they both wanted to, without any sort of problems that might have plagued them otherwise. "You have your reasons, you don't need to blame yourself for them or anything of the sort, you know? You are you, with every flaw and every issue. You'll be fine.", he reassured him, kissing him on the lips once more to hopefully melt away those thoughts fully.

"So do I. Wouldn't want it any other way." Just as he wouldn't want anyone else. Yujin didn't gain anything from it - from denying Richard his desires or denying himself any sort of closure for things he had experienced before. The two of them fit together, like a key and a lock, the one crafted for the other, and Yujin was adamant about making sure Richard understood that he had so very little to worry about, especially when he was with him. "If you say so.", he chuckled, once more making light of the situation. Easing Richard into this seemed harder at first, but now that Yujin actually got him as far, it seemed like it was easier than they both let on in the first place. Both of them were idiots. Hungrily, like a starving man, he lapped at Richard, kissed him again, sprucing smaller kisses inbetween to give all of his exposed skin within reach enough attention - his lips, his face, his throat, his scars - Yujin loved every part of Richard just as much as he loved him, even if his hand was doing most of the work. "You're so cute ..."

"No it's unfair to hold you up like that.", Richard answered. Well now they spent time together so it hardly mattered and there seemed to be no reason why Richard couldn't spend time with Yujin like this again. Nothing bad was happening, Yujin even finished quicker than he anticipated and that just meant he wasn't disgusted by Richard. He did worry though, because now that Yujin remembered, maybe he'd miss what was gone, who was gone. "I mean I'm not that good.", he answered. Yes it was obvious. "I know I'll be fine, but I can't get it into my head.", Richard sighed. It was hard to convince himself, he'd been even more terrified before, couldn't even talk or go anywhere and the journey on ship to here had only been bearable because he'd gotten sick and barely noticed any of it. The crew probably panicked around him, if they lost the kings brother, even if it was to a fever, they'd have had all kinds of different troubles. Not that Dayan wasn't a nice person though.

With Yujin touching him more Richard held onto him. He didn't want to be let go of, he wanted to keep feeling safe and warm. It took a while to actually get him going, to dismantle his worries and defenses enough for him to let go of a bit of control. Yujin kissed different parts of his body, wherever he could get to. He always was obsessed with the scar on Richards neck, probably because he wanted to see how much Richard actually trusted him. By now that one was almost an afterthought, but Richard still covered it most of the time. Right now though he felt warm and somewhat embarrassed. He slid his arm out of his sleeves anyway, all the layers he still wore and it felt freeing. He wanted to feel Yujins skin on his own and thus he pressed his now exposed body against him. He felt so much taller now, and Richard felt small, but that was alright. "I don't want to be cute...", Richard let out. He always called him that, even when he was barking at him most of the time. As it used to be, he melted in Yujings embrace however. There was nothing of that angry facade left, but it would have faded by now. He just made sure to muffle his moans in the pillow. So much for keeping appearances.