bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

    • “You liked me? That’s nice to hear. But don’t worry, we don’t have to push further than this if you’d rather not - maybe I’ll remember on my own accord.” They had a lead now and Yujin knew, better than anyone else probably, that Richard wanted nothing more than to help him. The thing was, they both weren’t exactly engaging in anything less than transgression - and while Yujin would, most likely, never leave the castle for real, Richard wasn’t bound to it by blood, and Shuren could make him leave again if he ever wanted to, he was sure of that. “Wait. I cheated on her with you? Isn’t that … didn’t that make you feel bad? Like, it’s as if I was saying you’re just the side fling, when I never really cared for her in the first place.”, he mumbled, sounding humbled, if not apologetic about the whole thing. Why did these things happen and why was his past self like that? No, it was still very much him - unlike Richard, he probably hadn’t changed at all and was still all smiles and giggles, still as lovelorn as before, and definitely smitten. “Not listening sounds like me, very much at that.” Why did it, though? Yujin didn’t know, but he was fairly aware that he was an airhead, as well as an idiot at that. Then, however, the wolf had a stupid idea - and he felt like proposing it right away.

      “Just in theory, if … there’s a way that would guarantee you’d be able to stay here because you’re, well, family … would you …?”, he asked, sheepishly and embarrassed at his own thoughts. If he called off his marriage with Yin, maybe Shuren would agree to let him marry Richard instead - but it was too early to think about something like that, damnit! Kissing him was good, it made his heart flutter and spread unimaginable warmth through his body, but that didn’t mean they were starcrossed lovers, either - even though he thought of Richard as attractive and … holding him felt just right. Fuck, Muhan was right. “Did he? Sounds like me. But I doubt we’re alike.” Not only that, why would Richard fall for someone that was just a bad carbon copy of his beloved brother? Was Richard even in love with him? All those thoughts made it hard to enjoy the massage, yet, Richard kneaded away on his back anyway. “Oh, I was … just asking. And no. I mean, I know Xu’s mother and she’s the one that taught me adrestian, but I … barely remember my own, if at all. And Ruoxe and Fei have different mothers, too. But all that aside, I’m the only one that came out kind of … fucked up.”, he sighed. Was he fucked up? His eyes were out of the ordinary, and yet, Richard stuck out like a sore thumb, too - and that meant they were quite the weird match for one another. “Alright, I’ll ignore him and his existence, for you.” Or maybe he wouldn’t and to something incredibly stupid instead; Yujin didn’t know yet, though, he knew that Richard apparently wasn’t too pleased about that idea in the first place. What a pain. “And? What about them? They are a part of you now, no?”, the wolf spoke, eventually sinking back into the water and denying any further massaging. For once, he turned around and faced Richard, grabbing the blondes hand and putting it on the large scar, the formerly bleeding gash, on his chest - a constant reminder of what had happened. “That’s also a part of me, as well as the one on my leg. People change, one way or the other - what happened to you didn’t need to happen, it was undeserved and I feel bad for even letting you go, but … that doesn’t mean that I would think any less of you because you have more scars. I’m just saying I won’t allow you to have any more.”, he spoke, still smiling, still convinced that he was capable of keeping the blonde safe, by his lonesome no less - and maybe he’d be able to. “Yes, a massage. You don’t have to be afraid of showing me, alright? I won’t think any less of you - and besides, you’re probably stiff from sitting around, too.”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Well I already told you we kissed...", Richard mumbled, how much more was there to tell? It was supposed to be an affair, but it had been much more than that and now they were at the start again, Yujin because he forgot most of Richard and Richard because he didn't feel like the same person anymore. "It didn't bother me. I wasn't in for any feelings... I knew I'd leave again and I was pretty sure I was going to die in Adrestia. Once we met more often, that line might have blurred however, I didn't plan it though. I tried to send you away once, we set up rules instead, but it didn't work out well...", Richard explained and he noticed that even his voice changed. He spoke more calm and silent, maybe a bit sad even. It sounded so different even to himself. "You literally never listened to me. When I told you to leave me alone, you didn't. When I told you to shut up about certain things you didn't either. I guess I needed that back then, otherwise I would have never gone anywhere."

      Richard knew where Yujin was going with his question and he let out a short sigh. "Don't ask...", Richard simply mumbled and he sounded a bit apologetic as well. Again he wouldn't be able to agree to it, not like he was now and not when Yujin didn't even know who he apparently fell in love with again. Those were old feelings for someone that wasn't here anymore, Richard couldn't accept those. Should he even tell him that he asked him before? Kind of? In a pretty backwards way, but he did. Richard would decide that at a later point. "You're not very alike, no. He was cheerful, but differently and now he... I don't know. He gets angry very easily and he's kind of... sour about a lot of things. He changed too." He was always happy when he was around Lucien however. Richard didn't know what to think of that. "Your eyes? My brother has a Thrian mother and Nayantai is his father. His eyes are green. It doesn't seem that uncommon.", Richard commented. He felt much more odd himself. When was there someone of the Fhaergus bloodline who wasn't blonde and didn't have blue eyes? Only him. Well Yujin probably felt the same. "I like your eyes.", he added, just to make sure. "Thanks...", he then mumbled. Ares was no one to toy with, especially not for Yujin, who suddenly turned around. Richard let his hands sink into the water, apparently Yujin didn't want to be massaged anymore, instead he grabbed one of Richards hands to put it on Yujins own scar. Richard didn't feel like that was comparable, but he didn't want to argue about it. "Mh...a-alright.", Richard mumbled giving in and eventually slowly turned around, only saved by the fact that his own hair probably covered a bit of the mess on his back.

    • “Well, I, uh, thought we dated.”, Yujin admitted and he meant it. But not only that, he also was painfully aware of the fact that yes, not only was he cheating on Yin with Richard for what felt like forever now - even if Richard was gone for a substantial amount of time - but he was still not coming clean, this time to the other person involved, and he felt bad about it, too. Richard didn’t deserve that - he deserved happiness, but calling off an engagement wasn’t the easiest thing to do, especially when his father was the one calling the shots. “Was I clingy?”, he chuckled, genuinely curious about the version of him that Richard remembered. Was that fair on him? Yujin didn’t know, but he was still grinning like an idiot, even if Richard had given in by now and was willing to receive some massages, too. “Would it bother you now? I mean, we said we’ll take our time, but I … just want to know. You’re different from before, and while I don’t see a reason why I would cheat on you, I just want to know what your expectations are?” That sounded harsher than it was and Yujin was getting more and more embarrassed. Why the fuck was he like this? Why would he cheat on Richard? Did he want to hear him say something specific? “Pff, that sounds like me, alright. So, in theory, I was annoying you in the most affectionate way possible?”

      Yujin understood social cues just fine, though - and still, being a prince and a forgetful nutcase led to many things, and all those things aside, he wasn’t doing a great job at hiding anything from anyone at any point anyway. “I’m … this isn’t a proposal, it’s too early for that. And besides, I want you to make your own decisions, you shouldn’t feel obligated to love me so you’d have a place to stay.”, he assured Richard, his voice firm and his hands busy with getting the blonde hair out of the way - not because he wanted to see all those stars, but rather because all of it was in the way and he wanted nothing more than to make all of this enjoyable for Richard as well. “We all do, but I’m still sorry. It sounds like you love your brother very much … and he seems so distanced from you and everything else. I … that’s harsh.” Then again, Xu and Yujin hardly talked much and even when they did, it sometimes felt odd as all hell. Why was that? Because he couldn’t shut his mouth and because his brother valued his silence? No, that couldn’t be it. “Sounds like an oddball, just like me. Speaking of which, I think … oh, no, nevermind.”, he chuckled instead, running his fingers over Richards back as he let the blonde lean against the ice in turn, swiftly switching their positions and letting the blonde get some enjoyable kneading - he started around his shoulders, slowly working his way downwards, then back up. Was he doing a good job? He wasn’t sure. “You do? I’m glad. Yours are quite lovely, too. But you do know that I like you anyway - you’re pretty cute, and honestly, Muhan called me out about being smitten and always stealing glances at you. Maybe he’s right.”, Yujin confessed and worked his hands some more, before he started humming something to get rid of the silence that would persist otherwise. Hm, parts of Richards skin felt uneven and somewhat rugged, and then, there were others that were smooth and warm to the touch, heated up by the warm water they stood in. He liked it, all parts of it, and before he even knew he was doing, he pressed a short kiss to Richards back. Why was he …? Fuck, he had no other intentions than giving him a massage anyway!
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I don't know...", Richard answered mumbling. Were they dating? Richard didn't want to and it started as something completely different. "I... think we did after a while, even though I wouldn't have admit it." Yujin probably needed more context and knowledge and it felt a little bit unfair to leave him in the dark like that. Richard didn't know where to start though. "Oh yes. Very clingy, but I think you realized that I couldn't deal with it all the time. You left room for me, but you picked me up and dragged me out when I needed it. It was a hard time for me... especially the time of my brothers birthday... even though that one didn't end too well. But It doesn't matter." It really didn't. That fight had been stupid and Richard should have just accepted Yujins feelings without lashing out at him and basically breaking up. Then he came crawling back, because he was feeling so miserable, so bad and he needed someone to pick him up. "I Think it would bother me, but... I also won't hog you for myself, especially not how I am now. I know that I might not be able to give you everything you need, want or deserve.", he explained. Maybe it was stupid, he always was in that regard and Yujin never accepted it. "It was good you didn't stop trying to drag me out. You forced me to live my life, which was good for me."

      "You proposed to me before.", Richard admitted slowly, maybe he shouldn't have, maybe he should have kept that for himself. "It's not about me... I want you to have memories of us first, new ones if not old ones." If it was only about him, Richard would say yes right away, he wouldn't deny himself that once more, but Yujin should know who he proposed to. He should not be locked in with someone that could barely live on his own. Richard took Yujins initial position and put his arms on the ice and his head on top. Yujins hand felt nice, Richard hadn't been sure how it would feel with all those scars and the broken nerves under it, but he felt the hands, even when the touch wasn't tight. Richard closed his eyes, wondering how his back looked, but Yujin didn't mind, he said that. "It's alright... maybe after some time we get closer again.", Richard answered regarding his brother. He wasn't sure if he even missed him though, he had Lucien after all. "What did you think of?", Richard wanted to know now, but he himself often enough backed down on a thought he had had. "I saw that you looked at me everytime I watched...", Richard mumbled. Yujin was still trying to figure out what he felt about Richard however, didn't he? After they stopped talking a bit Yujin started to hum a tune Richard didn't recognize, but he felt himself calm down and loosen up, maybe he was stiff from sitting too, Yujin was right. Suddenly Richard felt something else, some breath and then soft lips. it was nice, but he also felt Yujin stop in his tracks. "Yujin it's fine...", Richard let out and then smiled a bit, even though Yujin couldn't see his face right now. "When we first kissed... we both went for it at the same time... we were also pretty drunk.", Richard explained with a slight chuckle. He liked thinking about that, even though he might have felt very differently back then. "You took me to the den and you introduced me to your friends. Thinking back I think I was pretty shy back then too..."

    • "Did I never ask you out?", he soon wanted to know, almost as if he hadn't understand what types of feelings Richard was trying to confer to him. Yujin didn't understand a lot of things, most of the time at very least, and while he was always adamantly trying to do the best thing - or at least whatever he considered to be the best thing - that didn't mean it was, in fact, all there was. "So, I never asked ... but you also never did, and you never said yes. But the things we did and the feelings we had said something else?", he summarized for both of them, as if he was truly understanding where everything was going and what was happening. Was there even something, anything in fact, that was supposed to make sense at this point? Yujins missing memories seemed like an obvious hurdle, like the key to the lock that wouldn't budge, no matter how much he rattled on it, but it ... that wasn't his only priority. "Oh, I sound like quite the handful. Did I say something wrong? On your brothers birthday, I mean." There were many things he could have done wrong, or said wrong - or maybe Richard had just gotten something n the wrong throat. All things considered, however, he could only ask at this point, waiting for an answer in return, that he'd maybe get at some point. "Mh, I understand that, but ... you don't have to worry, you can hog me as much and for as long as you want. You are everything I need and want right now, the deserving part comes later." Who knew, maybe he did deserve the blonde after all. "I'll do the same this time around, don't you worry." Yujin went back to diligently kneading away at Richards back, touching all the spots he could fine and that felt either cramped up or sore, making sure to not miss anything as he ran his fingers along the scarred skin. Yes, he'd insisted it looked horrid and Yujin knew that Richard didn't like his scars very much, but even now, he found himself unable to picture his back any different - almost as if it'd been like this since they met for the first time. Then, however, he stopped again, letting a flustered noise escape his lips, shortly before he resumed his work. "I ... proposed? Did you say ... yes?", he whispered.

      Fuck, had he broken up with Yin before? Or did he just think that was going to work out? Damnit, that meant Richard had a pendant somewhere, proof of Yujins tomfoolery, and likewise, it was incriminating evidence for anyone that would come across the engagement piece - and at this point, there was only one possible candidate for that, which was ... well, him. "There's no need to rush, like I said. I'll respect you wishes, just as you respect mine - I'd like to make new memories with you, even if my old ones come back." Most likely, he'd just fall for Richard all over again - for the half wolf that looked mesmerizing with every breath he took, whose voice he remembering sounding warm and silky on rare occassions, and who was being terribly honest at this point. "I hope you do, you'd deserve it." Would Dayan listen to any of Yujins foolish attempts? No, it sounded too good to be true anyway. "Nothing important, but I'll tell you if I ever consider doing it." He'd figure out how to properly address the King of Adrestia on his own, however, though, likewise, he didn't want to embarrass Richard, now that he thought about it; he didn't want that idiot brother of his to think any less of him. "I like looking at you, not just because I like your looks. I mean, I'm glad you like my eyes, I like yours too, but ... I just was so happy you tagged along, I felt like I had to make sure you were still there after all." Keeping Richard save also entailed not letting him get out of his sight - which had proved to be a much harder task than it had to be, with the blonde sitting at the sidelines and his father occupying him entirely. Richards new voice sounded sweet, still silky and yet, oftentimes raspy from not using it much - Yujin liked it, and felt persuaded enough to kiss alongside the blondes spine instead, one kiss first, followed by another, but all of them rather tender and sheepish. "I like your voice, and your laughter.", he commented, well aware of the little chuckles that seemed so welcoming, he replicated the noise in his lovestruck daze. "To the den? How much persuading did that take? Did ... well, we drank, so ... how messy was that kiss?", he asked, continuining to work away at Richards back with both his hands and his lips, feeling inclined to do so, after being assured that it was fine.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Not really, no...", Richard mumbled. "I think we were very couple like at the end, but it started as something different. An outlet for me I guess... I don't know what it was for you. Then we became closer and closer and I started relying on you coming to pick me up. I cared for you too. At the start when I proposed to take a ship and sail off, I guess I just wanted to make Shuren, or maybe even Nayantai angry. When I took you on that trip to the accident site, I cared for you and I wanted to protect you." They hadn't even gotten along when they didn't sleep with each other, Richard had been so angry all the time and he found the most little things to explode in Yujins face. "We went to the end-of-summer festival... I don't know how that's called. Anyway, we watched the fireworks, we gave each other presents and you stayed the night. I... actually regret not folding a boat with you, you did that on your own." That was very much a couple thing to do, all of that day and Richard wished it would have played out a little differently. "On that one particular day, we had some time alone and you... you told me what you felt and I shut you down. I'm not sure if we were a couple, if yes, I almost broke up with you over it." What an idiot Richard had been and he probably still was. "I won't be angry if you engage with someone else. I really won't." Silence followed for a bit, then Yujin asked about what Richard just told him. "I couldn't say anything... you told me to open my present when I left." Richard didn't know what more to say about it.

      Before anything like that could happen again, they needed to get closer again. Richard needed to figure himself out and maybe learn not to sabotage his own happiness and Yujin needed to learn who Richard was now and if he truly liked him. Dayan wasn't even his priority now, Richard was sure he was happier without his little brother around. He wanted to keep those thoughts out and thus he concentrated on the hands on his back and the occasional kisses that made Richards hard flutter and his body tingle. He enjoyed this, but he also felt like he let Yujin do this for way too long already. "I will join you again. I promise." Yujin was so happy about so many things again, about simple things, like Richard sitting in the courtyard. it was incredibly sweet. Then his cheeks turned red, he wasn't prepared for a compliment. "I... think I never really laughed much when I first came here...", he admitted. Did this count as new memories? "I don't really remember anymore... I think I just came with you after you showed up. The kiss was... in the middle of the road and it snowed. I was cold too... because I refused to wear Thrian clothes. So you dragged me back home pretty quickly afterwards." Richard slowly turned around, denying Yujin to continue his massage, instead he looked at him. "Do you... remember any of it...?"

    • "Mh, I should have done that ... asked you out, I mean.", Yujin answered. Who was he, at this point in his life? It seemed almost as if he used Richard for his own entertainment, enjoyment even, because Silesse got too boring on him, but then, his feelings told him something different yet again and some of the more tender moments that Richard described didn't fit that assumption, either. He didn't think of himself as vile, or even a scheming rat that had some ulterior motive, but given the fact that he couldn't remember who he used to be himself, he wasn't even sure if that led to anything on his part. Explanations helped, feelings too, but all in all, Yujin was the one that had to make attempts to remember, while all information was readily available to Richard either way. "Did we ever sail off? I can't remember, but, maybe, I'd like to try that at some point. It's not like I leave Silesse a lot, and besides, in the end, you cared for me despite me only being an outlet at first, didn't you?" Yujin smiled, one of the first ones Richard wasn't able to see like this, and yet, it most likely proved true. Why, on earth, would he stick around any other way? It seemed idiotic to consider that something happened just because it had to - or that Richard would just completely change his mind. "But I folded two, didn't I?", he suddenly sprung on Richard, almost as if that detail was clear in his hazy, preoccupied mind - which struggled to remember, though, felt much clearer without the medicine he'd ignored on purpose. "So, I think we both weren't ... no, we both knew what we wanted, maybe, but it didn't align. You didn't want that relationship, but I did ... sorry for being pushy.", the wolf sighed, condemning his past self for his very own stupidity. "But, I have a question ... if you were to be allowed as selfish as you can be, what would you pick, out of all the options you have?"

      There was much to talk about and even more to realize, and as the wolf tried to keep up with all that Richard told him, his headache returned, for better or for worse - it wasn't a big, throbbing one and it was good that way, and yet, he knew well enough that no amount of fixing would ever get rid of that, almost as if his head was telling him to cut it out. "And I won't engage with someone else.", he blurted out, wondering why he'd dragged Richard to that end-of-summer celebration in the first place. Probably for the fireworks, big and flashy, like a burst of color in a snowy, icy cage that hardly ever changed. "Did you ... hold onto it?", was, what followed the next revelation. Yujin was wondering what way he did that proposal of his, and if he did do it like the fucking idiot he was, there wasn't even an incentive for Richard to actually answer him. One or two pendants, how many did he put in that damn box? ... Didn't he ...? No, rummaging around his head only felt worse now, as if his brain was already punishing him for brushing past the things he recalled, for setting out to find more things that he didn't recall or hardly understood as was. "I'm glad, I'd love that.", he chuckled himself. Having Richard by his side gave him some sense of security, not only because he could keep the blonde close and out of harms way or someone elses daily schedule, but also because ... having Richard close felt nice, maybe rewarding even, and as if nothing was wrong, or ever would be, in any way. "You didn't? Time to change that. I like making you laugh, it's a very nice one, and besides - laughter is the best medicine after all." Keeping Richard engaged with him wasn't particularly hard, either, and now that he talked and came out of the brittle shell that hardly kept him save for any amount of time, Yujin could carefully start chipping away at it, for both of their sakes. "You ... wore your adrestian clothes? In winter? Oh gods, Richard, how did you not catch a cold?", he asked, almost as if he knew the blonde hadn't been sick after their little rendezvous out there, though, now he turned to face him and Yujin couldn't hide his own insecurities and his questioning gaze behind Richards back. Was he blushing? Or was he hot from the warm water? "I ...", Yujin spoke, mulling over it for a while. Did he? Surely, he'd be capable of doing so, it felt important to Richard, whos hand he grabbed to hold onto, as if that would help him, but ... "It was during winter, right?", he sheepishly repeated, looking up while holding onto Richards hand, as if the ceiling held all of his desired answers. Then, he looked down at Richard again - ah. "Didn't I look at the stars and spring the kiss on you?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "No... I would have turned you down and pushed you away if you had...", Richard answered. It was better Yujin didn't, because when he had gotten too close, Richard always pushed him away in turn. It was different now, though in both cases Richard felt like he didn't quite deserve Yujin. Now it was more apparent, but he was done with pushing him away and driving him out, he was stupid enough in his previous life here. "We didn't sail anywhere no, probably because we both didn't know how anyway and yes, I did care for you, not more than I cared for my revenge though. I wish I had." Maybe he would have stayed. Maybe he and Nayantai would be happy right now, maybe they would have found out that Dayan was still alive and met him, maybe everything would have been fine and maybe Aramis would have died anyway, Lucien wanted it and it seemed like what he wanted was what he got. "Yeah, yeah... you folded two.", Richard nodded, Richard had denied himself so many things because he deemed them stupid or childish. if they went to the festival today, he'd fold a boat with Yujin. "Don't apologize, if you hadn't been pushy I probably wouldn't be here right now..." What would have become of him if he hadn't fallen in love with Yujin previously? Who would have saved him then? Yujin pose a good question next and Richard wasn't sure if he should be honest about it. He contemplated for a while before he spoke up. "I would marry you.", he answered. Richard didn't want anyone else and he didn't want to be anywhere else either. He just didn't marry Yujin because it wasn't fair of him, not like this, with Yujin only having feelings spilling over from memories of a different Richard.

      "Yeah... I have the pendant in my room. I used to wear it wrapped around the sheath of my sword in Adrestia... after the initial shock at least. I almost threw it away, but Nayantai saved it..." It had given Richard strength and it kept him going and surviving. He actually did quite well in Adrestia, he wasn't angry all the time and he felt like what he did was good, yet he needed that pendant to remind him to not recklessly run into danger - he did anyway in the end and it got him in his current position... "I want to try to get out more, so I'll try joining you whatever you want to do." The courtyard was fine, the library would be fine too if they wanted to go there and the bath of course. Maybe the next step would be eating dinner on an actual table and then maybe joining in on that training. "It was summer back then, but yes... it was still cold.", he then corrected Yujin. Winter only started when Richard left Silesse and by then he already wore Thrian clothing. Richard looked at him as he tried to collect his thought and find the memories Richard was speaking of. Once he got an answer, he smiled. "Silessian summer I think... autumn in Adrestia. But yes, you looked at the stars then at me and you kissed me. Then you wanted to leave, but I pulled you back and kissed you too. It wasn't a very pretty kiss and I think I might have almost stumbled, I drank a bit too much, ate almost nothing and I smoked for the first time too." Richard fished Yujins second hand out of the water too and he squeezed both a little bit. He missed how easy life had been in that moment.

    • "Sounds like you were a real handful." Indecisive, too, by the looks of it, and Yujin couldn't know if Richard was truly making attempts at anything, trying his utmost to understand what was happening, or if Yujin was the one that kept pushing him into a certain direction previously, only wanting one thing and nothing afterwards. Was it fair on Richard to toy with his feelings, to promise him the world and so much more when he was to be wed to someone he'd known for years prior to their meeting, yet, never had developed any attraction too? No, but it wasn't fair on him to be unhappy for the rest of his life either, and it felt stupid to consider everything, all at once at that. "It's in the past now. We can change things now, no? Maybe we should go on that trip sometime - we have all the time in the world, though." Richard wasn't going to go anywhere and Yujin wasn't, either - it only followed that the two of them would spend their time together now and once Richard felt better, better about himself and in general, they'd still have much more time that was only waiting to be used up. "See? ... I mean, would you like to join me the next time?" Summer wasn't over yet, that much was for sure, but it wouldn't stick around forever and if it meant that Richard saw the fireworks again and actually folded a paper boat with him, then ... oh, right. "I mean, fireworks happen twice a year, once at the end of summer and once at the end of winter.", he suddenly added, as if it was important to note that yes, they could fold a paper boat sooner than expected, even if it wasn't part of that particular tradition and never would be - but that didn't matter much. What mattered was, that Richard stayed with him, or Yujin stayed with Richard - regardless if it was winter or summer, anyway.

      "Would you have stayed if I had been any more annoying?" Yujin needed a few more answers, not because he deserved them, but rather because his curiousity was insatiable. However, there was only so much he could do, and all of that entailed that he actually made room for his feelings, tied to memories that were stuck at the back of his mind, unable to be accessed without giving him a literal headache. Richard had changed, very much so - based on both the things Yujin could force himself to recall and the words that the blonde spoke - and yet, he found himself unable to do anything sensical for the two of them, unable to figure it out for himself, almost as if he'd not changed once and stayed stagnant, as he'd always do. "Marry me?", he repeated, his heart fluttering and happiness welling up inside him - in fact, his eyes were glassy now, and he soon enough cried again. "Ah, sorry ... it's happy tears, I promise!", he laughed it off, slowly wiping them away. Yujin was overjoyed to say the least, or at least that part of him that still remained the same old, and yet, he couldn't act on it - they had so much more to find out about one another, so many more memories to make, too. "I'm glad he did ... honestly, if you'd like to wear it, I'd be happy, but you don't have to feel inclined to. And ... uh, did you ... does it fit? Do you like it? I don't remember what I made, but I hope it's not too ugly.", Yujin admitted, unsure what to think of that. Richard had admitted to keeping it close, and Yujin was smiling even brighter, almost as if he was trying to rival the scarce sun in Silesse, holding onto both of the blondes hand, that could use more smiling, too. "Mhm! I'll include you into my plans, don't you worry!" They weren't conjoined, not at the hands or the hip, even if they acted like it; neither of them wanted to let the other go ever again, it seemed, and for now, that also meant that they had spend all of their days together, almost as if they only had each other. "But ... yes, summer is still cold. Do you ... miss you adrestian clothing? Would you like some more of your own? I don't mind you wearing my clothes, I have too many anyway and I like it when you wear them, but you just have to say the word and I'll get you whatever you'd like instead." Though, didn't Richard look somewhat cute in slightly oversized clothing? Sure, he was growing into it by now, but some of it was still a loose fit, mainly because Yujin proved to be the slightest bit taller and - probably for once - the stronger one of the two, which also meant that Richard had to try and fit into something like that. "Nice scenery but a messy kiss, huh?", he crooned, almost like he sounded somewhat pleased. "Hm, next time, maybe I'll bring some food you can eat, then - you don't like spicy food, do you?", Yujin figured, his smile apologetic, his hands squeezing those of Richard, slightly pointing up at the ceiling, too. "Look.", he mumbled, but soon enough, stole himself a kiss from Richards lips, a quick one, and nothing more than that.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I was.", Richard admitted and couldn't believe Yujin kept up with it. It seemed like he kept up with everything Richard put him through. "Maybe sometimes we can go, yes." After all Richard intended to get even better and to someday be able to leave the castle and maybe even Silesse, if only for a trip. Yujin deserved that too, even though Richard doubted Shuren would allow it all of a sudden. Then again, he let Yujin stay with Richard too now. "I... yes sure, it's just... isn't the end of summer pretty soon?", Richard asked. maybe a month from now? He wasn't sure if he could manage to go outside to put the boat into the water. Maybe they could just fold them and watch the fireworks from the window. Richard wanted to get better, but it felt impossible in such a short amount of time and additionally it didn't felt like something he wanted Muhan to join in. He rather was with Yujin alone in his room, than with Muhan outside, just to feel save. maybe the end of winter was the better alternative. It was about half a year from now, that was plenty of time for Richard to heal.

      "I... don't know. Does it matter?", Richard slowly asked. Yujin hadn't been too annoying and now everything was different and the started back at the beginning anyway. He wasn't the slightest bit annoying now either. Soon after Yujin started crying again and Richard wasn#t sure what he did wrong. "I'm sorry I..." Yujin claimed it were happy tears again and Richard was still confused. He shouldn't have been so blunt. "I shouldn't be that blunt.", he apologized even though yujin claimed he liked to hear that. Either way, Richard wasn't selfish enough to propose to Yujin now anyway. "It's not ugly.", Richard quickly replied. "Wearing it now would be a little... weird, wouldn't it be?" They weren't engaged, that was not even on hold, it was reverted back and maybe Richard should return the necklace for now. "I'll show it to you when we are back in my room." When Richard got it he found it pretty tacky, nothing that would fit him, but he very much liked it around his sheath. Yujin was glowing with joy right now, just because Richard told him all of that. Was that good? next time Richard should be the one proposing, but it wasn't the right time yet or anytime soon. "No, your clothes are fine. I... back in the hut I had some Adrestian clothes for sleeping. Thrian ones feel too complicated sometimes, but it is no real issue. Besides, in the hut it was much warmer than here." Did Richard want back some shirt and loose pants in exchange for even loser pants? There was no real need actually, but even Thrian sleeping clothes felt like he was dressing up for an occassion. "Mhm. Adrestian food is way less spicy, I'm not used to it.", he then admitted and the cooks seemed aware too. Richard always had to eat that bland food too, didn't it bother him? Richard looked where he pointed first, but was met with Yujins lips soon after. Richards cheek turned red, but recreating that night was out of questions, not entirely at least. Richard still held Yujins hands, they both had wrinkly fingers by now. He looked to the side a bit embarassed too as a thought formed in his mind and let butterflies spawn in his stomach. "I'd... I'd like to... kiss you more... and cuddle... Shall we... get out and... back to my room...?" Or Yujins by all means, after all he wanted to, but they needed to get some stuff from Richards room first.

    • Everything was different now, all of it had changed and Yujin was bearing witness to something he hardly understood, let alone that he could make amends for. Richard was, without a doubt, not the person he used to be and yet, it didn't bother him in the slightest, nor did it uproot any of the feelings that he felt for the man, apparently at the very least, almost as if all the things he had considered doing prior to this were, without a doubt, going to resurface later on. "No need to rush, though." There never had been or would be, and it only followed that Yujin, however much he desired to be with Richard, was making himself look bad by trying to make both of them adhere to his stupid logic. Forcing his head through a wall didn't help or benefit either of them, and making amends to change that was, often times, hardly possible at that. Why was that? Did he desire something else than the very things he had right now? No, that wasn't it. "Yes, it should be in a few weeks ... hm, that reminds me, your birthday was before that, wasn't it?" In some weird terms, they shared a season for their birthday, though, Yujin was fairly aware that adrestian seasons - most likely - worked differently from thrian or even silessian ones, much like their dates. "Hm, we don't have to go anywhere. How about we wait for winter, if you don't feel comfortable?" Was his goal to lure Richard out of his shell, or to make him comfortable within? Yujin wasn't sure of that anymore, almost as if his goal had become muddled in between, but that didn't matter - they'd be able to arrange something for sure.

      "No, I'm glad to have you back. You did what you had to do, but, I feel like, if I would've been able to keep you here ... maybe I'd be able to remember all those memories and promises I made, and you'd still be safe.", the wolf admitted, though, he knew that he wasn't capable of any of that in the slightest. Hadn't he only picked up training to vent his frustrations over something he hardly recalled? Sure, he wasn't an asset to Richard before, more like a liability, but that had changed now, and he'd prefet to keep it that way, no matter what else was bount to transpire. "Richard, there is nothing to be sorry about - please, you can be as blunt as you want, I'm just glad to have you back.", he spoke, his voice soft and tender, much more lovely than it most likely was at any other point up until now. He liked being with Richard, and he liked him enough to accept just about anything thrown his way - however, that didn't mean he disliked anything that had happened just now. "I'm glad ... and, well, we aren't engaged, in theory. But if it brings you comfort, you can feel free to wear it, whenever and wherever you like. It'd make me happy, but you really don't need to feel like you have to wear it." This time, he was just taking into consideration that, unlike him, Richard was very much still able to recall the person he'd been, the memories he'd made and to take into account that, if anything, the old Yujin that haunted him, most likely at least, was still dear enough to him to love someone that lacked his memories. "I'd like to see it." Whatever he wore it or not, it was made from the labor of love, in a way at least. "But you wouldn't feel safe there, right? Do you want me to go to the hut and pick up some of your stuff, to make your room feel more like home? Or would you prefer to leave it untouched?" Yujin hardly remembered anything about the hut, but he knew where it lay - slumbered - and he also was fairly certain that he'd frequented it, sometime after Richards departure - a small victory, in lieu of everything he'd forgotten. "Would you ... like to try some spicier food?", he asked, springing said question on Richard. "Just to see where your spice tolerance is." If he remembered correctly, Nayantais food wasn't particularly spicy either - and Yujin didn't mind bland soup stock, even if it got boring after a while - he still had more than enough dumplings. That thought, however, was soon thrown out of the window - and replaced by familiar warmth, spreading throughout his very body. "Mhm, that sounds good to me ... I'd like that a lot, let's get going.", he giggled, sheepishly at that, before stepping out of the water and bringing Richard with him, drying Richard off first and then himself, without even asking, and helping the blonde back into his clothing, as a loose fit at least. "Your room is more than fine.", he chuckled, still holding onto the blondes hand as they descended up the stairs.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "My birthday?", Richard asked and he completly forgot about that. "Y-Yeah... it's one week before the end of summer..." So he knew Yujin for over a year already, but he also wasted most of that time somewhere else. It truly felt like wasted time at this point, though the time with Nayantai had been good too. Then again, all that they fixed about their relationship vent down the drain pretty soon after. Hopefully Yujin didn't ask what Richard wanted for his birthday, because he sure didn't have any idea. he didn't feel like he was in a position to ask for things and besides, he was in his room and did not much else, what was there he'd need? "Mhm... we'll see how I feel when the day comes.", Richard nodded mumbling. Maybe he'd be able to go outside, maybe not, maybe if Muhan was around at least if Yujin wasn't bothered by that. Come ti think of it, most of the time one of their parents were present it had only been Nayantai, never Muhan or Shuren. Richard felt almost bad for not talking to them.

      "I decided to leave. It's not your fault and besides... it happened. There is nothing we can change about it. I'm just glad you took me back in after all of this..." Richard still felt bad for how he left, but he would have left regardless. The nightmares didn't stop after all he did, he thought they would, but instead he had more of them and more frequently too. That wasn't Yujins fault though, it was his own. Then Richard shook his head. It wasn't like he didn't want to wear that necklace, it was just that he didn't want to explain it to people and he was also pretty sure that everyone could guess who it was from. He'd also have to explain that wearing it didn't mean they were engaged which was odd in itself. But he'd show it to Yujin regardless. "I... I don't know what you'd still find there... we took most of it with us. I don't mind you going there though, to see what's left." But he couldn't go himself, no he truly couldn't. He shook his head again. "Mhh... maybe I should stick to Shurens diet for now..." He didn't want his stomach to get upset after all and he got dumplings with the soup now. Afterwards Richard let himself be helped out of the water and into some dry clothes. Then Yujin dragged him upstairs again and once they had entered the room with the crackling fire and the door was closed, Richard let go of Yujin. he knew what he said he wanted to do, but first he approached his bag and searched for the necklace Yujin gifted to him. Once he found it, without the wooden box he seemed to have lost somewhere on the way, he brought it back to the bed and set next to Yujin to carefully hand it over. Richard took care of it, but it had some little cuts from dangling from the sheath attached to Richards waist while he had been fighting. "I'm sorry about the scratches..."

    • Their ascend was swift and the way to Richards room wasn't a long one, even though they both only had so much they could do without changing their mind completely - they belonged together, they figured all of that out a long time ago, but they were coming to terms with it now, after all they could have done to uphold the relationship prior to that had gone down the drain, it seemed. There was silence, an eerie amount of it, but even that didn't matter. What mattered, however, was the swift realization that, despite everything, Yujin could stand to be less impressed by the little things in life, as well as the giant amount of roadblocks thrown his way. Silence settled in, way too soon, maybe. "One week? That's soon ... would you like to do anything? Adrestians have cake, don't they?", Yujin asked, not sure if he ever had ... yes, he did. A chocolate one at that, looking all sad, but still tasting good enough for Richard to actually dig in with fevor. Would Yujin be able to replicate that? No, he feared he'd be at a loss, but even then, it was better than not having anything for the blonde, now that he had nothing for himself. "Give it some time, that's really the only thing we can do.", he agreed. It was, and honestly, it would continue to be. Not only did Yujin know that, but he also was painfully aware that, despite everything, he could only make so many attempts at something.

      "And I'm glad you're back, here, where I can see you. Actually, I missed you - you do know that, but it feels amazing to have you back.", Yujin admitted. It did, and hugging Richard or hearing him chuckle - no, seeing him get better felt like it was much needed, as well as well deserved on the half wolfs part - he had done so much, much more than he ever needed, and lived through so many obstacles, Yujin felt almost bad about not sharing any of those traits with him. As things stood, Richard would most likely go through hell and back for him, and Yujin would thank him for it, unable to do much else for him. "I'll take a look, maybe I can find something that's of comfort for you, who knows? Taking a look won't hurt, and besides, even if you took most of it, that doesn't mean you took everything, right?" Yujin sunk down on the bed, sitting there and wondering if a change of clothing was in order - it very much was, and putting on old clothes after sweating through them defeated the purpose, and yet, he let Richard do whatever he wanted. "Yes, probably - I'll ask him about it, if you'd like? He probably will yell at me.", Yujin giggled - that his old man would, as a reminder that he was already doing too much for Richard, as well as making too many attempts at being the goody two shoes he was. Could he help it? No, and he was an idiot for it. There was some rummaging, just before Richard brought something over to him - the pendant was still deep red in color, and the motif was neatly carved in there; it reeked of Yujins selfishness, and soon thereafter, he showed Richard a cut on his thumb. "I'm pretty sure I got this when I made it. I think I actually made a ton, before I found a motif I liked and that I was able to make look good. Forget-me-nots are pretty ... but, in the end, you remembered and I forgot.", he mumbled, running his fingers over the carvings, just before grabbing Richards wrist, pulling his hand up to his cheek and rubbing his face again it. "I hope you like it, though. It's meant to convey the deepest of ones feelings, and yet, I was a coward for only handing it to you and telling you to open it someplace else. I was scared of rejection, possibly. ... Maybe I wrote about that?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "No need and... I don't think I am allowed to have cake.", Richard answered, taking note of the fact that the old Richard, the one Yujin had known, would have spit on those rules. Not that he was after cake, but he simply would have eaten it just because. Now he was more akin to the young crownprince back in Myriad, who told Dayan that he wasn't allowed cake and then Dayan would bring him some anyway, no matter the consequences, just because he didn't want to eat it alone. Actually he would have brought two slices, because even though Richard didn't look the part right now, he was eating a ton of food, more than Dayan and more than Yujin. "If I don't feel like going out, we can still fold the boats in here. You could bring them down to the water too if you want and I will watch from a window." Yujins window for example had a view on the cliffs and the see on the backside of the castle where it was quiet. Richard could just watch him and even yell if he wanted to tell Yujin something.

      "I'm glad you still here...", Richard then mumbled as a reply. Without Yujin Richard would probably be dead by now, he was pretty sure of that. It didn#t need muscles or his training to save Richard, Yujin did that by just being there by his side. He nodded again when Yujin suggested he'd go look for real. Nayantai packed their things, Richard didn't even know what they left, but he never missed any of his belongings on the journey. Of course they didn't take all of those many neckerchiefs for example, there should still be some and maybe also some more things. "No don't worry. The food tastes well enough and I'm glad I get something to chew legally now, not just what you are willing to give." As mentioned before Richard didn't want to cause trouble, especially not for Shuren or Yujin. Enough of that however, their focus soon shifted on the pendant and Yujin showed Richard a cut on his thumb. He didn't recall any bandaid on it back then, but he also didn't know when Yujin made this exactly. Richard was a little startled when Yujin grabbed his hand suddenly, but he didn't pull it back as Yujin led it to his face. "Do you want to check?", Richard asked about Yujins diaries. "If you had done it any differently, I might have not taken it with me..." it was the right decision, Richard couldn't possibly have accepted that as well as he didn't accept Yujins confession on the last day. Richard wondered if he should make one of these himself, but it was hardly possible without Yujin noticing.

    • "A forkful won't hurt.", Yujin told him, even though he didn't know that. Given, adrestian birthday celebrations were beyond him, but Yujin also knew that his twentieth birthday as the next one that he'd have, which meant it would be some tacky, grand celebration, just because he made it twenty years without losing his head. "Hm, how old are you turning? Nineteen, right?", he summarized, based off of the fact that Richard had told him something about his coming of age ceremony before that, and Yujin was the one that apparently got him to do that. That was why, if he anything, he had that pillow and the scarf - something to remember the blonde by, something that reminded him of how dearly he missed the young man that hadn't haunted him in his dreams, not once, and he felt bad about it. "I wouldn't mind that, I could set the boats out and then come back up - the fireworks are usually something like a couples celebration, they are meant to be spent with those most dear to you, in a somewhat romantic sense. But we'll decide when the day comes, alright?" Yujin felt awkward, he didn't want to stand down there all on his own, and all that aside, he didn't know what to gift Richard. Maybe his past self knew, had written down some of last years ideas that didn't make the cut, but even then, he'd probably have to go out and leave Richard to his own devices - something he loathed doing.

      "I'm not going anywhere - I'll be here for you, as long as you need me." Their relationship wasn't purely based on friendship, that much had become apparent and Yujin couldn't help but realize how much had changed overtime, let alone how ... natural it felt to interact with Richard, even in a somewhat lovey-dovey matter, despite not doing so before. Were those his true feelings? Everything pointed in that direction, making him painfully aware of just how idiotic it was of him to not consider any of this before, the very first time Richard had proudly shown him that scare that adorned his neck like a permanent reminder of the many things that happened to him - something Yujin couldn't protect him from. "Legally? Sounds like I committed crimes by feeding you some meat or my dumplings before.", the wolf laughed, amused by the wording, still running his thumb over it - did he really cut his finger while cutting that? Maybe not this particular one, more like one of the first ones, among a large badge of discarded misfits on his hunt to make Richard something that he actually liked. "I ... would like to. Just to be sure.", he admitted, even though he knew that it might not be the best course of action, though, understanding himself felt like a key point, even when he was tenderly rubbing against Richards hand with his face, gazing at him somewhat expectantly. "Then, what do you say ... would you take it now? ... I, this isn't and shouldn't be a proposal, but I want you to have it, regardless.", he admitted, as he handed the pendant back over to Richard. "You do deserve the world."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Maybe.", Richard smiled, but he doubted anyone around here even knew how to make an Adrestian cake. Besides, it was just a huge hassle. They'd have to find chocolate somewhere, something that wasn't available very often around here and sugar neither. Thria was more famous for their spices and of that they ate plenty, sweet wasn't really their thing. Richard nodded with a smile, yes he'd turn nineteen. Killing that bear was almost a year ago and he didn't look like he'd ever been able to do something like that. "You don't have to spend that day with me though...", Richard mumbled just in case Yujin had someone else in mind and he wasn#t even sure if they'd be able to watch the firwork from a window or if they'd miss everything. They couldn't go back to that hill, that much was clear. It was Richards fault and he could try to change that, he did in fact but it was easier said than done. There were too many things he was afraid of or felt uncomfortable with eventhough he wanted to get a move on.

      He wanted to get better for Yujins sake mostly, so he'd be able to go out with him, to have fun and protect him again. Maybe he could marry him even, if he still wanted to. Richard wondered how much longer it would take. Another whole year? That sounded awful, but he didn't make much progress at once, at least it didn't feel like it. Richard nodded with another smile, he phrased it like that n purpose. "I think your father wouldn't be happy and he is king, so he is the law, isn't he?" That was a weak attempt on a joke, but Richard made it anyway and besides, Yujin already laughed about it and that was all Richard wanted. The blonde caressed Yujins cheek a bit and even though the prince said he wanted to check his diaries, he probably didn't want to right now. Instead he looked at Richard expectantly and he knew that they went up there for something else. First however Richard got the pendant back, looking at it for a while. He hid it before and he'd hide it again, but he was still glad he had it and for now he careully placed it on the nightstand, together with the letters he had stashed away. He could finish them up later. Richard turned to Yujin again and looked at him, his hand still rested on his cheek and he slowly came closer to kiss him softly, very softly indeed, but he didn't back away as soon as previously.

    • "Won't know unless we try.", he confirmed, for both him and Richard. It couldn't hurt to try, surely, but it also would be odd to figure it out on his very own, expecting something to happen, after putting together a cake all by himself. Given Yujins inability to brew tea, however, it wasn't just that he figured out that he'd much rather leave the baking to the ones in the kitchen, he'd most likely be the biggest help if he never went near the cake to begin with, unless it meant that he'd be able to feed it to Richard. Slipping away tomorrow or the day after, whenever was preferable, to make the necessary purchases for it wouldn't be too hard, but finding a recipe might prove difficult. Would it, really, though? Who knew - Yujin could only hope that yes, Richards nineteenth birthday would be met with much anticipation, as well as his appreciation. "Who else would I want to spend it with?", he asked, not expecting a coherent answer. Spending a couples holiday with friends was ingenious, but it sounded like a solid idea - and even then, Yujin liked it the way it was; and he wouldn't trade anything for the time he spent together with Richard, either. "Richard, I'd love to watch the fireworks with you - would you like to spend the day with me and watch them together?", he asked, much more formally than he normally would - but it was just one of many silessian customs - and as long as Yin didn't show up, there was nothing to worry about anyway.

      Spending time together was important, as if it was everything that Richard needed to heal - and as if it would stay that way, for as long as Yujin could make time for him and shower him with as much love as he needed. It was stupid to believe that everything would work out, just the way he wanted it to be, but hope was, what died last - and Yujin didn't want to give up just yet, simply because his fluttering, warm heart belonged here - with Richard - and nobody else, ever again. "But the law's there to be broken, too, isn't it?", he chuckled, amused by the thought that, yes, his father was very much the law and the king of this icy place - having qualities that Yujin hardly possessed - but he could still test him, his laws and his undeniably selfish nature, until every straw he picked at was broken, from having been bent too much. Why was that, though? Was he just amused by the fact that Richard recognized it as such and that he, now, found himself back in a painfully rebellious phase? "I'm sure that wasn't what he had in mind, either.", he admitted, sounding shy but not the slightest bit concerned, as his heart pounded in his chest and he felt Richards lips on his own, the kiss slow and loving - and Yujin was the one that trailed after him, demanding another one, before he grabbed onto Richards shoulders and pulled him closer, letting both of them fall onto the bed beneath them as their lips parted. Soon thereafter, however, he was in need of another kiss ...
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Yujin never stopped when an idea had been planted in his head and Richard was fine with it. He could try some cake and leave it be, before his stomach would rebel because of the foreign substance entering suddenly. Dayan used to bring Richard cookies too, but he didn't eat them, now he was better though and he felt like he could take a bite of something sweet. Richard nodded therefor, agreeing that they might as well just try and see where it lead, though Richard was kind of sure, that Yujin wasn't that into sweet things himself. It would be a waste of cake. "Your friends maybe...?", Richard suggested to Yujin, maybe he wanted to drink and have a fun time with everyone, but Richard should know better. Yujin would never leave Richards side if he didn't have to and Richard felt bad about that. The following question confused Richard a bit though, why was Yujin talking in Thrian all of a sudden? A puzzled look was emerging on Richards face, but he nodded anyway. "Y-Yeah, I'd like to.", he answered, feeling like that wasn't how he was supposed to say it.

      "Are they...?", Richard slowly asked next, not sure if he wanted to get on Shurend bad side again, but there were things he could probably look past. Soon all of that didn't seem important anymore though. Their lips met and Richard kissed Yujin for quite some while before parting again. Yujin wanted more however and they kissed some more. Richards whole body felt like it warmed up and his fingertips started tingling. He heard his own hart beat in his chest and soon enough Yujin pulled Richard closer and let them fall onto the matress. Richard stuck his hand out and softly placed it on Yujins cheek to pull him in for another soft kiss. The blondes head started to feel heavy in a good way and he softly let his thumb run over Yujins cheek. He didn't know how much he had missed this until now and it felt just as good as a year ago.

    • Contrary to popular belief - or maybe not - Yujin was not only an idiot but also a menace upon society, as well as his very own fathers wishes and ideas that never seemed to last long, especially in the presence of his youngest son, who often times challenged him more than he had to or needed to, at any point in his life. However, while Yujin was currently busy proving his father wrong again - trying to get his lips onto Richards own and staying too close for comfort - he also knew that all of this defeated any logical purpose. Not only was he dooming both himself and Richard with his own selfishness, he was endangering this relationship of theres before it even really blossomed into something tangible again. The work of a fool, nothing more than that, but even then, Yujin knew fully well that he was making stupid assumptions about stupid things, all of them unprecedented to begin with. "I'd much rather be with you.", he clarified, trying to erase all doubts while he searched for Richards lips again, peppering soft kiss after kiss onto his lips, some longer than others, some sweeter than others, but all in all, none of them were anything bad. "I'm glad.", he hummed, sounding somewhat satisfied. Why was that? Possibly because, after everything that happened, Yujin would prefer some peace and quiet - something he got from sticking with Richard.

      "I'd say yes, from time to time - to have some fun.", Yujin admitted, knowing that yes, this was some breach of some law, and yet, he felt almost intoxicated by the feelings that Richard ignited within him. Would he spare too many thoughts, Yujin would know fairly well that all of this was wrong, and yet, the cold hand on his cheek - the cheek that tingled, much like his heart, and felt burning hot - brushed against Richards hand, with Yujin chasing after his touch. There hardly was anything he could do, and there was no way for him to pull away now, and yet, he didn't even want any of that. In fact, he felt comfortable where he was, and he was also fairly confident in admitting that yes, he was going against Richards wishes of only being his, but right now, the rest of the world didn't exist, not when Yujin was hugging Richard somewhat, fumbling the slightest bit with his clothes - not to take them off but to get a comfortable grip - only to lean into his own, soft touches and chase after his lips whenever they were too far away, for just a bit too long. The thought of reaching for his dairy had long since left his head, his mind occupied with something else and his mouth astonishingly dry, bespite sharing soft kisses with someone he ... "I love you.", he mumbled, between all their kisses, burying his confession in another kiss, too. "Your touches and your kisses ... they are soft, and so very nice. I don't want to let go ever again."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard had missed this, but he wasn't sure if those kisses came at the right moment. Yujin still learned almost nothing about Richard and all his feelings stemmed from a place he had forgotten. Maybe Richard was allowed to be selfish though and maybe this helped him get better too. He leaned into the kiss, knowing that he wasn't warmed up for much more than that and he didn't know when he would be. Thinking back to their first kiss, or any kiss really, it didn't take much time to go further than that and suddenly find themselves naked and on top of eachother. Not today though, he couldn't just yet, or at least Yujin needed to ease Richard back into that thought. At the same time Yujin didn't remember much of their time together, so taking it slow was probably the best for both of them. Those kisses were more than enough for now anyway and Richard softly caressed Yujins cheek while he continued to kiss him. "Mhm...", he mumbled into the kiss, because he wanted to be with Yujin too and he was glad as well.

      They shared kisses much softer than what they usually did before, even though Richard had showen Yujin one of those before too. Yujins kisses felt the same, his lips were as soft and he was as playful as ever, the blonde wondered if his own kisses felt different though. He'd always been a bit shy, but also very eager with Yujin, now he was careful, not using his tongue or his teeth. He just got taste after taste of Yujins lips while the sound of them kissing was complimente by the crackling fire and the waves crashing onto ice outside of the window. Richard eased into the sudden hug a bit slowly, but he did once he figured out what Yujin was doing. Richards heartbeat grew faster and stronger, he almost felt a bit exhausted from it, probably because his body wasn't used to using energy or having a racing heart. Yujins confession came sudden and Richard didn't know how to respond to it. He felt like he had to say something too, but he struggled to find words. How often had he told Yujin that no, he didn't love Richard, he just imagined things, but it had been true and maybe it was true now too. Whatever the case, Richard was sure of his own feelings towards Yujin. He backed away abit to be able to look at Yujin. "I love you too...", he softly spoke, then closed the distance again to kiss Yujin once more. "I don't want to be anywhere else..."