bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

"I like holding you, so that's a nice bonus." Why did he, though? Richard fit right into his arms and holding him just felt like it was the right thing to do, even though he sometimes asked himself why that was, why it was like that and it wouldn't become easier from here on out, but maybe he just was a tad bit too sensitive right now - his head felt woozy, it felt as if it spun in circles and as if the world around him was turning and turning and on and on it went, before it stopped and gave him a good idea of how the world around him worked, despite not knowing a damn thing about how it really, truly was these days. Yujin was occupied with himself, with the fact that holding the blonde was something that he only gould do every once in a while, but whenever he did, the experience was a good one. "Mh, it's fine, something we don't need a reason", he recalled, for both of them. In fact, he had no reason to continue being nice to Richard, yet he was and the fact that he - often enough - was trying his earnest to be someone that hardly had a good time as was said a few things, even though an attempt was futile, he still made one, more often than enough, for the stupidest shit. "Are you? Then there's nothing stopping us, I'd say", Yujin made clear, grinned ever so slightly, but that wasn't it, it never was.

Truthfully, they both had a few things left to uncover, something to understand that they usually wouldn't and if coming up with a solution to their problems were an easy task, he was fairly certain he'd have it figured out by now, but alas, he didn't and therefore, they were stuck like this, in the dark and the cold, cuddling up to one another under a heap of fur. "Ah, that ... you are right", the wolf made clear and felt slightly embarrassed - this had been obvious and it wasn't even hard to figure out, yet he'd just blurted out whatever came to mind and found himself wondering why he did when he could have done other things, could have come up with something actually inteligble, but he hadn't, like always. "What about we both get under the blanket then?" Blanket was the wrong word, yet they were treating it like one and he was almost convinced that no matter what, they'd be stuck using certain words for certain things as it'd always been - Yujin was wondering, always and ever so slightly and he was questioning, often and plenty of times, but this was what really put a dent in all of this, wasn't it? "How about we try it without booze and smoke next time, then?", he suggested, drunk on sleep and high on emotions, but it was fine, they both were old enough to at least try and figure something out, even if he soon enough found what he'd bargained for. His heart felt as if it fluttered and he wasn't sure - this wasn't all tongue and teeth and saliva, it was way more tender than he was used to, soft and lovely, something that Yujin didn't recognize, but he liked it. Once Richard pulled away, the wolf returned the favor, albeit a bit rash, but he tried to be soft and loving as well, something he barely ever did, but right now, he was doing his earnest, all the while letting his own fingers wander over Richards back, softly stroking over it.

Fragile and tender were good words to describe this relationship of theirs, void of any carnal desires and filled with some sort of oozing liquid that couldn't be held up inside of them, that spilled out of a broken bottle that was trying to keep whatever it was inside of it with a cork, but it didn't help, the glass was chipped off and there was a giant crack at the bottom, of course there would be nothing left inside, not even with that stupid, gigantic cork that was supposed to make all of this foolproof. Yujin was wondering what had led to any of that, why he was trying so hard to not understand what his own feelings were trying to tell him, but honestly? He had some sort of idea and while it wasn't a fun one, it was an idea that he'd share with someone else if he could, even if it seemed absurd and painful to beigin with. "Hm, we held our hands into the fire right before that, didn't we? I still have a burnspot from that, but I don't ... no, wait. I do remember that I accidentally got you to almost drown us both and that your coat sank to the bottom of the ocean", he recalled and that was something new, it surprised himself and his gaze grew wider, despite the fact that neither Richard could see in this darkness nor that he could really figure it all out for what it was. "I know what you mean, 'kins", the wolf suddenly teased the blonde. Arikin was a name that they didn't use all that often, but Arikins was too long to be a nickname - so why not just Kins?

"Then we'll do it again when the circumstances are better", Yujin decided, he did, there was no room for Richard to deny, yet, he wouldn't force him into something like this if he truly didn't want to - they both were quite skittish as it seemed, especially without drugs and booze and the truth was that neither of them was supposed to endure all of this for so long - the wolf was dying from something, he thought so at least, maybe it was love, maybe it was sexual tension or maybe it was just the good, old and usual pain that he thought he was feeling, wasn't it that? There it was, draped ontop of them like a tablecloth and while the air down here wasn't exactly the best, he thought that most of his feelings were amplified anyway, every spot that Richard touched felt electrified, not quite aflame and burning yet, but the touch was nice and let his heart beat fast, all the way up to his throat. The prince had a few options from here on out, but taking any of them would ruin this quite tender moment so instead, he let his hands wander, carressed the blondes back and somehow tried to reassure him that he wasn't going to let go or leave at any point in time to begin with. Shortly after their lips parted, he did leave Richard some room to breathe and the wolf wanted to be stupid again, wanted to say something, but he actually made quite the telling move under Richards grasp, squirming ever so slightly into the direction of the softer than silk touch. "I like you, like, a lot", he voiced, before pressing his lips to the blondes again - like this, their kisses weren't languid and wolfish, wanton and charged with desire, they were loving and while still quite telling, a lot bit softer. Yujin did pull away eventually, once more, before he chuckled. "What are you waiting for?"

But why did he? The wolf didn't get it - all in all, he never retained anything for that long and all the hurt in the world would eventually dissipate into nothingness, leave him feeling empty and craving the void that called out to him, but like this, he ought to realize that nothing was truly ever happening to him - he was having his own kinds of fun, that much was for certain and he also was fairly aware that nothing would ever fix that brain of his, no matter who tried what. However, Richard seemed a strong contender when it came to at least getting his thoughts aligned properly. "But we both burned ourselves and so we both lost!" As it that was important, not after all those weeks and not when Yujin wasn't even sure if Richard did, but he didn't want to pry, to ask for something that just straight up wasn't there, wasn't happening - it all didn't matter and why was that? Because, in the end, no matter what he did, they both were lost souls. "What makes you think that? Both your adrestian and thrian clothes suit you, I wouldn't want you to throw them away, you just could stand to wear warmer clothes from here on out - summer doesn't last for long and soon, it'll be winter." This, however, didn't matter in Silesse, the only thing that was going to change was, that it would be getting colder and that it would snow more often, but also that there wouldn't be a cloud blanket painted onto the sky all the time. "Short for Arikins, though, you don't sound that approving."

What a bummer, huh? Now that he ran out of good nicknames for the blonde, he wondered if he could make up something on the fly or if the sole reason that he was doing something for someone was that he thought he'd gain something from that, that there had to be something that he might as well have liked the way it was, but Yujin wasn't sure. Instead, he lay there, in a tent, somewhere in the frigid cold of Silesse, huddled among furs and blankets and the only one offering him tangible comfort was a traumatized half-wolf that barely knew what to do with himself. "Do you now? I'm glad", the wolf mused eventually, knowing fully well that no matter how futile his attempt at making Richard smile some more was, tonight he wouldn't be seeing if his effort bore fruit, he'd only hear it, if he could stop hearing his own hearbeat, that was. Why was he slightly trembling and getting nervous? They'd fucked before, plenty of times and truth be told, nothing changed, not now and it wouldn't change anytime soon, so what was the reason behind all of that to begin with? Was he getting cold feet because he couldn't use pain as an excuse and as a barrier like he'd done so many times? "You have it", Yujin spoke, knowing that it barely made a difference to begin with - and yet, Richard was asking for it. The wolf revelled in this unknown feeling of want, of not needing, but wanting, of knowing that this was fairly soft and nothing else, but he let do the blonde, let himself figure it out - and once the layers had been partially shed, he helped himself and Richard out of some, not of others, only to chuckle. "So, what now? Should I undress as much as I can?"

Chaining events together and figuring out what they meant wasn't Yujins strong suit, he knew as much, but the fact that he tried his best to be someone he wasn't didn't prove to difficult - now that he had discarded all of those shells that he'd built up and let Richard in, which wasn't hard in the first place because the blonde had more recent baggage to carry - he once more wondered if this was the right thing to do or if he should do something entirely else, figure it out for himself and wonder what it meant to be someone that had their priorities and thoughts in order. Yujin knew very little of what it meant to be someone that knew what they wanted, that remembered what they should and all in all, it was a suprise to him that nothing ever had an impact on him, at least not strong enough so he'd be able to recall it, but now it was different, Richard was there, keeping him sane, teaching him that not everything had to be forgotten at all. What was it worth, if not so much more than that lousy heartbeat of his? "You do?", Yujin teased, he knew that Richard knew, that was all there was to it. "Thank you." There was no need to move, to go anywhere, to understand something that was beyond that and there were too many questions - at least that was what the wolf felt like - that were better left unanswered.

"So we both don't want to let go, is that right?", he wondered out loud, but it very much was. Attachment came in many forms and this one, fragile and thin, was nothing more than them wanting to be with one another, not caring what they'd have to do to manage just that. Yujin liked the touches he received, as much as the answers that Richard was willing to give and he wondered how long it would take him until his body - some sort of temple, ancient and crumbling - would give out under all those soft and thoughtful touches, rather than the rough treatment that it was used to. What was foreign, however, were those fingers pressed against his lips - there was no explanation, instead he took it as the question itself and opened his mouth, licked the fingers he was given, coated them in as much saliva as possible and if it were any different, maybe he'd have put his mouth to good use and he'd have figured out what it meant to him when he found that, no matter what he tried, nothing was going to suffice in a case like this. In the end, those fingers left his mouth, Richard moved, something twitched and there it was, another kiss, one that he returned as best as he could, all the while he tried to absentmindedly follow those hands and fingers on him that led somewhere that the wolf didn't quite know, only to immediately tense up when he did. Saliva wasn't as good as oil, that much was for sure and while the idea itself wasn't a bad one, the sensation itself was dull and only amplified by the leg between his own, teasing his crotch. "Mh, saliva isn't a good substitute. But I have an idea", he mumbled, grabbing the other one of Richards hand and kissing it after bringing it up to his face. "How about you use my thighs? With my legs closed, that is."

What was the blonde to him? Many things, a lot of them at once, others only ever sometimes partially and it made Yujin wonder why he stuck to him like honey would to a honeycomb, why he thought that this was the biggest and best idea of them all, but if he were honest, he'd know that it was because Richards presence was a comfortable one, because no matter how many scars marred their skins, it no longer mattered who did what, who'd eventually find themselves figuring out what and who'd think twice about what it all meant in the end. "I'm glad you're here, with me, though", he clairifed with a light smile and while he knew that nothing came without any good answers, he was left wondering once more what it meant to be around Richard, what it meant to be with him for what felt like an extended period of time and where certain boundaries ended and where they started. Often enough, Yujin was quite helpless and found comfort in misplaced words, in something that was anything but akin to what he truly wanted and once he was left wondering, he found himself at a crossroads that begged more questions than it gave answers to him. "You might as well so I can pay you a visit!" Shuren, as sad as it sounded, wasn't immortal and he'd eventually die, too, which was an opportunity that Yujin could take and make his own. What a shame though, no?

"That's not what I said", he commented and sighed, somehow their roles were reversed this time around, with the blonde worrying a bit too much about it all, yet, he wasn't deterred by that and instead kept on doing what he thought he did best. "You'd still be rubbing against me", he clarified, quite blunt at that, but the faintest of smiles seemed to be enough to fix things entirely, even if a fallen prince of Adrestia was currently carressing him and trying to coax him into what exactly? "Yes, but like I said, saliva isn't a good enough substitute", the wolf added, but he knew that once the blonde had seemingly set his mind to something, he'd do it and this was, without a doubt, the most embarrassing part of it all - Richard wouldn't be deterred, would he? Yujin found lips on his own and a hand on his dick and this was getting really embarrassing, really fast, especially when he could only make muffled sounds into said kiss and wonder what it was that let all of this happen the way it did - it didn't feel bad, he was sure, but it wasn't over just yet and the finger went in a bit smoother than expected, yet, oil still felt a bit better, though, neither of this was bad and the sensation was way too good already, as if all that had led up to this moment had made it as electrifying as it was - and the wolf felt selfish for liking it as much as he did. "Both ... but", he huffed already, grinning at Richard like an idiot. "I want you to get off to this, too." Not just from watching, that could barely be enough, even if he was squirming under all of those touches and letting his body react in a honest way.

Richard was different from all the others, at least Yujin thought as much, but telling him felt out of question, as if the slightest word of such things was going to throw him out of loop, despite knowing that it was all different from here on out. Tonight was different, mainly because they both were hurt and insane enough to look for comfort in one another and whatever else would transpire after that was, in fact, entirely up to them. Yujin knew that a hand was enough, now he had two o him and tried his earnest to shut his mouth, despite being fairly aware that even that wasn't going to help him all the time, that not everything was able to keep him together, in one piece, or even tell him what it was that he might want in the end. His fellow wolf was good at confusing him, at planting ideas in his head and giving off the impression that, while neither of them really wanted it, they could have whatever as long as they put their mind to it and no matter how many times he thought about it, in the end, the proper solution to all of this was nothing more than mutual understanding - of one another and their problems, of the fact that nothing was supposed to last forever and that - despite the two of them being in love as much as they were - not everything had to be voiced the way they sometimes did.

"Make me kneel?", he summarized, but that barely was the right way around it, they still wouldn't be as close as they were now and whatever they wanted to think about was barely going to be a good solution to their problem, at least not as it stood. Maybe the sole impression of all of this being nothing more than a flickering dance among the vast shadows of this world was comfort enough, but in the end, Yujin felt quite comfortable and loved in Richards care, in all the things he did for him, drunk or not, memorable or not - he liked it as it was, and thus, he peered at him with interest once in a while, despite knowing that nothing changed and the almost crawling rhythm wasn't going to change, but he had no complaints. Yujin liked it as it was, letting Richard know by not sealing those lips of his and instead letting out any sounds that escape him just like that. "Sure is", he eventually answered with a snicker - but he'd like more, yet, knew that he couldn't get it, which was probably why he eventually took one of his hands off of the blonde and stuck it between their bodies, before finding what he looked for - he started stroking it, ever so slightly. "Then I'll lend you a hand", Yujin made clear, gifting the blonde a grin that barely was visible in this darkness, but it was the thought that counted - at least in his opinion - and his hand was, most likely, not even that bad, even if it just barely stroked Richard.