bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

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    • “That you’ll not allow me back into your humble abode? I don’t think so, it would be stupid if I wasn’t allowed in here sometimes”, the wolf informed Richard. Wouldn’t it be incredibly stupid to just assume that none of this was worth a damn to either of them? Why was Yujin getting back to that, though? At some point, he’d probably have to tell Richard that getting him out of that pea brain of his was not only incredibly hard but also fucking silly, so silly in fact that he wondered if it was even fun to meet someone like Richard every once in a while in the first place. Wouldn’t they be the ones that clearly were losing their fucking minds over one another at some point in their lives or was all of that so far up his head that he just believed whatever his brain came up with? Not only was Yujin not sure, he also knew that whatever the case, in the end, all the yelling and crying and his own berating would not only get him nowhere, it would also show him - very clearly - that not everything on this planet was made for him, tailored to his needs or that none of this mattered, because in the end, he’d forget and Richard would find that they both should have stayed far, far away from the other in the first place. “Do your worst, then.”

      Richards idea of his father seemed almost plausible, yet, Yujin had to shake his head, almost in defeat. “I’m pretty sure he’s just a tad bit too eccentric on the surface, that’s all. But he also has no patience and that means that a garden isn’t for him. Trust me. And if he wants one, he’ll get his hands on one.” Shuren was, by all means, an odd fellow and a lot of people knew and saw just that. What was it with him anyway? Rumors after rumors surfaced, all of them talking about some sort of malicious deeds, yet, when he asked about them, nobody felt like doubling down and rather denied ever speaking of it. “Eh, what are layers for anyway? I can just get out of these and wear the rest of them later”, Yujin elaborated, shaking his head and then looking at Richard, before he gazed back to his leg and then back to the blonde. “You’re worried that I can’t keep up because you never see me train? Oh, shut the fuck up”, the prince did try to defend his pride, but they already got to the meat of the conversation anyway. His leg was going to fuck him over so bad after this, this was why he never trained. “I am! No need to tell me!”, the wolf hissed as he started running after the blonde and eventually, did get back to him, keeping the pace as was. “Have you ever heard of properly warming up for something!?”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Stupid? You mean because we can't always meet at your place? Well I rather have your sister listening in than Nayantai.", Richard answered and it was the truth. Sure Nayantai knew already that there was something going on between them and he didn't disapprove, he probably was glad Richard found someone he could talk to, but having him hear something he shouldn't? God no! Quans hut had been nice, but that probably was a one time thing too, right? Weren't they supposed to be adults? How come Quan had his own fucking home and Yujin and Richard did not? That was embarrassing. "Do Kun and Jia have their own huts like Quan?", he wanted to know. He needed to know if he was considered lazy or whatever if he continued to live with his father. "I will.", Richard assured the wolf. He said everything and didn't specify if he could have something one time, or until the snow in SIless melted, so this was going to be fun, right? Whenever he wanted him to shut up, go somewhere, or get something for him, he could tell him, almost like Yujin was his little dog, right?

      "He's patient with you, isn't he? Translating his stuff, learning Adrestian in the first place,...", Richard asked and he still didn't quite know how to pay Yujin for those seeds, or how all of that worked with abstract things like the den. "Can I ask you a stupid question? You don't have money, right? But would it be worth anything if I helped translate stuff for your father? I mean I have some time and I need to pay you for the seeds... and eventually I need some form of... currency...", Richard asked. He was pretty good at speaking Thria, he'd be able to translate some texts, right? Between training and hunting and now maybe caring for his plants, there still was enough time to do something else. He didn't comment on Yujins layers, but in the end he could also borrow something to go home wth from Richard if he needed to. But it was true, he was worried Yujin would drop halfway of the run and then what? "Well then prove me wrong.", Richard demanded, already running ahead, but at least Yujin reached him again and was keeping the pace steadily. "What? Do you need a break already?", Richard asked and then pointed at a distinct edge in the cliff further away. "That's our goal, then back. If you feel like you can't make it, just have a break and turn around earlier. I don't want to carry you back."

    • "I'd rather not have Ruo listen to anything I do!" That was true, he didn't want his little sister to be able to get him to do whatever she wanted, just because she cought him cheating on his beloved with the same guy yet again. True, he wasn't afraid of that little monster, but sometimes, not only could she get terrifying, she also dug a bit too deep into things that didn't concern her. Yujin always wondered why she did, yet, she was much like Shuren, so there really wasn't any need to explain anything - if anything, there was no way for his father to contest that that wasn't his daughter, so that left two of them, him and his youngest sister, who had no idea who their biological father was. "Uh, why?", he suddenly burted out, but he still was keeping up with Richard, tried to keep a steady pace, tried to keep his body going, but he'd fall and break his nose if they kept going at this pace for too long. "Kun? No. Jia shares one with his girlfriend but ... they are like, three or four years older", Yujin answered and that meant that Quan was an outlier, but for a good reason. Should he tell Richard? There was no harm in it, right? "Quan has his ... own because he's an orphan, that's all." As sad as it sounded, he couldn't evem remember if the brunette ever had had family.

      "He's a fucking nightmare, that's what he is", he cut in. Shuren was eccentric, maybe even a bit too much, but he was nowhere near lovely and while he wouldn't lash out at him or his siblings, things could get ugly once he started yelling at Muhan or someone else, especially one of the servants. "Money isn't a thing here, like ... I said. If you want to work for that madman, I'm sure he ... wouldn't deny you, though", the wolf informed the blonde and now, they were still going, still towards the cliff that Richard had pointed him toward and his legs were still doing fine, doing great, carrying him faster than he thought they would and that was odd, why weren't his lungs imploding and why was all of this so seemingly easy when it really wasn't? "I am trying to!" That he was and once they did, in fact, reach the edge of the cliff, they'd turn around and once they came back to the hut, they'd stop there and actually go for a nice sparr, wouldn't they? That was it, right? Richard definitely wasn't going to force him to run another round ... yes? "I can take that, I'm not made of brittle ice. I'm just, unfortunately, a bit broken, in a physical sense!" And again, he wasn't wrong and he actually was running closer and closer to the edge - gods, how fast could Richard run? He still matched his pace, but this wasn't getting easier. "Carry me? You're insane!"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I feel like all your friends are cheating on their girlfriends, is it really that big of a deal?", Richard asked. Jia had his girlfriend with him last time and she was acting like she didn't mind sharing, but Richard wasn't sure if that included times were she wasn't present. He wasn't sure if Yujin told him Quan had a girlfriend or not, but if he did, he definitely didn't care and if Richard remembered correctly Kun had one too and though he seemed true to her the first time they met, last time he tried to get a date back home as well, didn't he? It seemed like wolves didn't take relationships all that serious, Yujin seemingly had no remorse either, but he didn't want to share Richard, that at least was something and the blonde himself didn't mind stirring only one pot. "Mhm... okay I get it. I just wondered if I'm pathetic for living with Nayantai still.", Richard answered, then again why would he find his own hut if he wasn't going to stay here? He and Nayantai barely saw each other anyway.

      "Okay I get it.", Richard almost grinned, but he didn't. Yujin didn't think too highly about his father, didn't he? Well Richard didn't think too highly about Nayantai as well, but that was because he wanted to blame someone else but himself once in a while and he was sure he knew who was responsible for the assassination. It had to be Olette, because Alster wouldn't with Declan in power and Lavern lost their lord in the war and had to figure a lot of things out still. The fact that that wasn't hard to discern was prove enough that Rain and Nayantai should have killed that stupid family too and set someone else as Lord there, but no, they believed they surrendered and for what? Richard shook his head, usually he avoided thinking about all that, it was no use right now. "I can only pay with some fur and meat otherwise.", Richard answered, he didn't want to owe anything. Richard was actually impressed that Yujin still kept the pace, he was doing fine, didn't he? But even Richard pushed himself to his limit like that, otherwise there wasn't really a use to it all, was there? He usually managed the way towards the cliff with ease, but he needed to fight the last few meters back most of the time. "Well good then.", richard said and even went a little faster right after. "Well should I let you lie on the floor and have you crawl back on the floor yourself? I can do that."

    • "Oh gods, Quan doesn't even have one and Jia and his are just a tad bit too open-minded", Yujin replied, grinning about it. It wasn't uncommon for someone, as long as they were cute, to end up in bed with Jia and his beloved and sometimes, it wasn't even uncommon for the two of them to become three for a few months, only to have the weak link fall off their chain - that had to hurt. "Kun is just hopeless, but the only person he'd cheat on his girlfriend with is Quan anyway, which, honestly? Just why", the wolf complained, but he didn't even know why they got back to talking about that. Because he was the one that was obviously worried about all of this and he was the one that had brought up that he didn't want his sister to hear any of that, to chime in and tell him that all of the things that he was doing were wrong? Was Richard one of those things, too? Whatever the case, he'd find out the next time he got to fuck the blonde in the castle. "Wouldn't I be pathetic for living with my parents and my siblings in that castle, then? Though, that's something different, but look, you aren't - and your old man goes out often enough, too." They were running their asses off and for what? Yujin didn't know if he could keep up with Richard like that, but even if he didn't, it'd be fine, there were ways to deal with this.

      "Do you now?", the wolf chuckled, amused by the glimpse of Richards face he had gotten. His lungs were eventually going to start to burn if this went on - he was out of shape, but the dry, cold air down here made it even harder on him and his body to even get something going, to keep up with his peers and when his leg was mangled, found out to not be in the best shape it could be, he often enough had used it as an excuse to get out of something he didn't want to do. "Hm, I don't think he needs any of that, so, if you really want to subject yourself to my fathers insanity, I'm sure he wouldn't mind a helping hand - or someone that actually has thrian as their native language as opposed to his children." Shuren was a lunatic through and through and the quick, one-sided obsession that he had with many things would either go away soon enough or be part of his personality for years to come. Whatever the case, in the end he wouldn't hurt Richard. By the gods, how fast was this madman going? Keeping up with him became even more of a strain. "You could, but I'd probably fuck over my leg like that aaand that means I'd be going nowhere, maybe even the next few days. You wouldn't do that, would you?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Would you have spent the night with them? They looked very into you.", Richard asked, he was just curious for whatever reason. He remembered hw both of them looked at him and how Jia just put Yujins head on his lap without any comment. "I thought they never slept with each other?", Richard then asked regarding Quan and Kun. He wondered if they did that night. "And didn't you sleep with Quan too? So who are you to complain?" Richard was the one that backed out before anything had happened. Thinking back on that evening and Yujins friends Richard still wondered about the face Kun made after he kissed him. It kind of worried him, it made him think that maybe he did something wrong, or maybe that he was just an awful kisser. At least those problems seemed normal, which was nice. "You live in a castle, I think that's very much different. I would have never moved out of mine if things would have been... normal. An well, my younger brother would have probably moved to Fhaergus, but if there is no other country to rule they can't expect you to go anywhere.", Richard concluded. "But good, I wouldn't even know how to pay for a own hut. Though it was nice being a-... never mind"

      "He's shady.", Richard pointed out and then shook his head. "I don't want to pay him back, I want to pay you and that merchant for the soil and seeds. If I pay you with doing some of your work it'll be fine, right?", he asked. It would give Yujin some time to do whatever he wanted to and did in his spare time. Richard actually didn't even know what that was - odd. Richard looked at Yujin over his shoulder, was he falling back? Well of course, but Richard didn't intend to prove anything or make him almost die. "Even if you lay there in the snow for three days you wouldn't freeze, right? So I don't need to worry!", Richard answered, not truly meaning it , which was why he turned his head towards Yujin and even ran backwards for a few steps to look at him. "How about you turn around right now and run back. I'll run the last bit and catch up to you. No need to overdo it.", he suggested and turned around again to finish what he had started. He wouldn't think less of Yujin if he turned around now and Richard eventually would catch up to him at some point.

    • “Uh, no idea. And don’t worry about that, they aren’t too picky and they usually just want to help - if you ever are in a bad mood when they are around and they take note of that, well, she does because Jia can be a blockhead sometimes, they’ll at least try to get you to calm down a bit.” Yujin wouldn’t admit that, but both Jia and his girlfriend could - at least sometimes - offer a reasonable amount of love to anyone crossing their path and they were saints when it came to soothing someone. Sure, they didn’t approach everyone or offer them to spend the night with them, but to a default, they were nice and lovable, almost as if they belonged together and their sole goal in life was making those around them feel better, too. “They don’t do that … or at least they don’t admit to it. No idea what they do, but Kun isn’t necessarily into Quan … Quan, on the other hand, seems to have the worst crush on him that I’ve ever seen.” Often enough, the brunette pulled Kun close, kept him there and made him focus on only himself - was the other wolf jealous? He didn’t have a clue, but in all honesty, he didn’t want to find out anyway - he’d only question too much, too soon, too fast. “Yes and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.” Quan sucked, in the literal sense of the word, and he was quite bad at it, but that probably was the punishment for being shitfaced. “So you just stay home no matter what? And what if you wanted to see more of the world, could you do that?”, the wolf wanted to know, simply because he couldn’t go anywhere anytime soon anyway.

      “No idea what he meddles in but yes.” His father had always had some sort of aura about him, something indescribable and haunting, but he masked it with a grin, with nice clothes, with loving words and with a fan and everyone that thought that something was off eventually shook that feeling off of themselves. “Sure, I can bring you some of the things I should be translating the next time then? Or would you rather come over?”, Yujin inquired, he didn’t have a problem with either, but he’d have to clean up that desk of his and make it a bit more comfortable, just in case Richard was going to be hunched over one piece of text for one entire day … well, he did have an idea. “That’s cruel! … but I probably won’t, though, I’d appreciate the help - just because I don’t die doesn’t mean I won’t get freeze burns, so don’t you dare!”, he grumbled, somewhat flustered. Hell, he’d not want to lay there, out here somewhere, for three days straight and try to claw his way to the next tree to gain some support and pull himself up. He’d done that once. And … ah, fuck. “Mh, fine. Back I go, then”, he announced without much splendor before turning around - what was first; his lungs or his leg?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Yujins friends seemed more complex than he thought they were. "Hm, well did it work on you?", Richard asked and he also wondered what he himself thought of that kiss. Well not too much actually, it had been fine and at the same time he had been the one kissing Kun, right? He thought about who Yujin behaved with other people in bed and it kind of made his heart jump, whatever that meant. Why was he even thinking about sex right now? And why was he able to remember all that so vividly when all the conversations mostly just vanished because he had been high as fuck. "He does?", Richard asked almost laughing about it, he didn't notice. "Does Kun know?" Actually Richard didn't think so for some reason, but he didn't know them, so he couldn't really judge anything. "Worse a crush than yours on me?", Richard wanted to know but it just slipped out of his mouth and he regretted asking that in the first place. He acted like he didn't and rather concentrated on Yujins question. "The castle would have been my home, but I could have gone wherever I liked as long as I wasn't gone for too long. Somewhere in Adrestia, or even Thria, though I believe if I had become king it would have been harder to do that, because nobody would have wanted to let me go alone. Well I probably would have gone with my bro...ther... nevermind."

      That didn't matter, because Yujin agreed to turn around and Richard nodded to go on ahead. He upped his pace even more, reached his goal and then turned around to catch up with Yujin. Why did he think about Dayan? Everytime he did he felt like a piece of him died and that was probably the reason he went faster right now and filled his lungs with the burning cold air of Silesse. Yujin wasn't quite all the way back to the hut hen Richard caught up to him and for some reason, while he ran by, he grabbed his hand, slowed down a little and pulled him after him. "Come on.", he mumbled under his breath and tried to remember what they talked about before he ran off. "If I can do it here, that's fine.", Richard eventually answered. "The translating I mean..." Then he looked over his shoulder to check on Yujin, Richards own breathing got heavier right now after he almost sprinted a bit and the cold air wasn't good for him most of the time, but he didn't want to pull some of his clothes over his mouth right now. "We do't want your nose to fall off, got it. And we're almost back." The hut wasn't far now.

    • His entire circle of friends was a mess through and through, it only followed that none of them could be able to form lasting relationships and it became painfully obvious that none of them knew how to treat each other seriously, at least not as long as they were doing all of this in so many different ways. "Hm? No, it took my mind off of things, mainly you, but that only for a split second and I wouldn't say that it worked all too well", Yujin admitted, he knew as much and Richard probably did, too - in the end, he'd been the one that had made him feel like that, albeit only because the wolf was an idiot and he wasn't exactly in love with Yujin, much to the wolfs chagrin. "Yes and no", the wolf answered, once Richard was back on track with him - he had dipped out earlier because his lungs burned by now and his eyes felt uncomfortably dry, but his leg wasn't complaining, which was a good thing. "Hm, wouldn't say that Quan is crushing worse, just way less obvious and also a bit more painfully", he made clear to Richard, who definitely wasn't going to hear some sort of love confession from him, not like that, but Yujin also didn't apologize for bringing the topic of his brother up again, that felt, like so many other things, out of place and as if he was only fishing for some sort of of compliments that, by no means, were going to have any visible impact on him or the blonde.

      Going back to the hut would be a cakewalk, at least he thought so and once he was there, he'd have some kind of fun, really, anything, because he and Richard were alone and talking to him went well this time, nothing bad had happened just yet and if this went on, maybe it would not happen again, maybe their little goodbye pulled them back on the right track - whatever the case, though, Yujin felt the tugging on his hand and stumbled after the blonde who suddenly seemed to be all about speed, for a reason unknown to him - was this still about his brother, about the deceased, about the end of the world that barely amounted to anything. "I'm coming, don't stress me!", he blurted out and went after Richard, who's hand he did squeeze in his own - was it really like this? Was this what their relationship ended up amounting to? Love? "You can do me, too, you know?", the wolf then proposed, but it was more of a joke than an actual offer - that, however, didn't mean that he wouldn't take a quick fuck for payment - but then again, that was nothing that he wanted to do right now, actually, sleeping with Richard was off the table for now. "Almost doesn't mean already, but you can slow down a bit, no ... no need to wear yourself out like that."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "And I didn't even sleep with Quan. There was no need to get worked up about it in the first place.", Richard answered still running and dragging Yujin after him. Probably what had ticked the prince off was that Richard would have and that he didn't consider turning Quan down at first, he just went and vanished with him into another room, leaving Yujin sit with his friends without him. Was that it? Yujin was jelous, he knew as much now and he agreed to only sleep with the wolf, so there was nothing Yujin needed to be jealous of now. Then again, Yujin actually had no reason to be, Richard wasn't his, but... the blonde didn't mind. The sex with Yujin felt good, why would he need anyone else? Also he was pretty sure whenever he truly wanted to fuck, he could just show up at Yujins doorstep and get what he wanted and needed to have some time out from all those thoughts that swirled up also right now and wouldn't go away, even if his lungs started burning. "Less painfully? Because you get to sleep with me but he doesn't get to sleep with Kun? I bet he'd be more interested if Quan wouldn't fuck everything that moves.", Richard answered but right now maybe he even pitied Quan a little bit.

      "You're a slowpoke!", Richard yelled over his shoulder, still dragging the stumbling Yujin with him, but he slowed down in order to not make him fall on his face. He'd asked for a race the rest of the way, but Richard was sure he'd win and thus it was no use. Instead he dragged the wolf with him. "That seems unfair, because I get something out of it too.", Richard answered as if they talked business and nothing more. His hawklike eyes were fixated on the hut, his legs grew heavier, but that was what he was going for, right? Fuck, he didn't want to think about Dayan, why wouldn't the thoughts go away right now? Why did he start talking about him and his own life that would never be. Richards heart pumped harder but for some reason Yujins hand in his own calmed him at least a little bit, especially when he felt a familiar squeeze. "Wearing myself out is the point of training.", he answered and instead of listening to Yujin, he went faster and still dragged the wolf after him for the last view meters. Then, when they finally reached the hut again, Richard stopped, pulled Yujin close and dragged him down into the snow with him, where he lay then to catch his breath. "Let's do something stupid...", he let out, closed his eyes and furrowed his brows as if that would help getting Dayan out of his head.

    • "I am an idiot, we established that already", Yujin answered him and he wasn't wrong. They both were, painfully obviously, idiots that felt like they were pulled toward one another, that felt as if gravity was keeping them together, chained in one place rather than two and Yujin would be insane for denying Richard all that he wanted, for not giving him a piece of him and for not giving him some of that time of his. This was going somewhere, well, their bodies were and his mind circled about one too many topics, all at once, because the fact that his hand was hold did stirr up his muscle memory a bit and well, fuck, when did they really hold hands like this except when they were having sex? No, this wasn't what he wanted right now, he wanted to do something, anything, but nothing that showed Richard that he actually did long for him and that the goodbye that they'd uttered last time wasn't one after all. He giggled, only for a good second though, before he heard more words fall from those rosy, soft, kissable li- fuck, no, this wasn't what the prince wanted, he'd have to contain himself, this went on for a bit too long, didn't it? Shit. Richard was making a mess of his brain. "Sure would, but I can't blame him, if there's a void to fill, he will, even if Kun doesn't give him attention", he voiced, slightly exasperated. Richard wasn't wrong.

      "I'm out of shape! I only ever use my leg as an excuse!", he suddenly admitted and for crying out loud, Richard could know this kind of stuff, Yujin didn't care if he did - they traded secrets back and forth like some sort of currency anyway, there was no need to make it all obscure and unpredictable in the first place, was there? "But you wouldn't be opposed to it?" That was an answer that could mean many things and a lot of them were, probably, only a favorable outcome for one of them. Sure, there were other things that they probably had to adhere to, whatever that'd be their own rules or the fact that they couldn't always meet for sex, but then again, what else was their relationship if not that? The sudden movement felt close, especially when he found himself so close to the blonde, so close to the snow on the ground and ... they were laying in it now, weren't they? Yujin did have time to catch his breath like that, which was nice, but he also pressed his forehead against Richards chest, which was only really possible in this little misshaped constellation of their. Fuck, this was going somewhere, wasn't it? One of his hands found its way into the blondes hair, softly caressing him and guiding a few strands out of his face. "What do you ... suggest, then ...?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I guess we did." What if Richard went back to Adrestia? Would Yujin even let him? Whatever they had was no more by then, right? Not that Richard wanted to sleep with someone else then, no, not at all. He needed to find those who took everything from him and he needed to make them pay, for his siblings that lay dead and cold somewhere, he didn't even know where... Someone probably had disposed of them, maybe threw them in a nameless grave, that... was not a nice thought. Why was he thinking about all that right now? Fuck... he hated this. He wanted this to end, but running until his lung felt like burning up or simply lying down in the cold now did nothing to help right now. "Filling the void, huh?" Didn't they all do that? Yujin as well? Though Richard wasn't sure what void he was trying to fill, or if it was just the holes in his brain that made it hard for him to remember the simplest of things. Richard was trying to fill a void too, but nothing truly helped, not for long, just for the moment and sometimes even that didn't help. Whatever he did he felt like a part of him was missing.

      "You should train some more then.", Richard let out, Yujin wasn't even that bad though, he didn't run as far or fast as Richard but he did. For someone probably running every once in a while he wasn't half bad at it. "We have an agreement right? Who am I to deny you your part of it?", Richard asked. If he could show up whenever he like, Yujin could do the same to ask Richard to take his mind off of things, even if that wasn't why Yujin was here right now. Richard didn't know why he threw both of them in the snow and right now he looked at the sky and wondered what it was that would help him. Everything in Silesse was cold and without color, be at the pale skin of almost everyone, the snow, or the black hair and then there was Richard with the blonde hair, reminiscing of the sun. He truly wanted to do something majorly stupid and if Yujin hadn't been here he probably would have gone to town to start a fight with about anyone. He grabbed a fistful of snow, not intending to do anything with it, but he got snapped out of it when he felt Yujins fingers in his hair and he looked down at him. "What's the farthest you ever went?", he asked instead of giving an answer.

    • “See?” That only meant that there was no need to contest to it, that he’d be an idiot for as long as that relationship of theirs went on and that was fine, there was no need to redefine himself, to make him be someone he wasn’t - it was all in good faith, it never was something else, that much was clear to Yujin. They both cut themselves on one another as if they were sharp knives, as if nothing quite mattered just yet, but they also were - very apparently - not appalled by the fact that if anything, they were using one another for their personal gain, to fill a hole that had been there for an undisclosed amount if time and that would never heal up if they went at the pace that they did. From here on out, it all was theirs to decide, whether or not they wanted to do something and if they wanted to, if it even mattered what they did. Sure, nothing revolved aroudn them and it was painfully clear to him that that would always be the case, but as long as he at least could contest it somewhat, he didn't necesarrily care about any of the potential details. "Someone ought to, somehow", the wolf gave back, knew that they both had something to fill and while emotional wounds festered, too, they sometimes seemed to love hurting one another with the simplest of words, wasn't it that?

      "No way in hell", Yujin answered and he knew that Richard wasn't wrong - he could and he should, it wouldn't kill him, it never had, but for one reason or the other, not only did he not feel like it, it also gave him more questions than answers anyway and no matter what he did, it wasn't what his father wanted him to do for the rest of his life anyway. "... Right, no, forget about it", he chuckled, knowing that he could have been more delicate about the topic at hand, or really, anything, but he wasn't and why? It didn't make much sense to him to just tease the everloving fuck out of Richard when he seemingly wasn't in the mood and they were currently cuddling in the snow, full of sweat, and Yujin was pressing his face awfully close to his ... what was the blonde again? It didn't matter, he let his head rest where it was and nothing else was important right about now, not when he lay there and for a while, he could only hear their breathing and nothing else because the world around them was, by far, not even important to any of them. "Out of Silesse? Probably when I got kidnapped. Anything else, no clue, but I think I didn't even come close to any of the borders. Why?" Was Richard willing to entertain some stupid idea of them running off right about now? Or was he actually hoping for a story? "I mean, if you want to hear something, I can try and think about it, maybe something comes up?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "You seem proud.", Richard said, that was odd, wasn't it? Well Yujin sometimes was an idiot on purpose, wasn't he? Whatever it was that he tried to hide with that farce, Richard didn't know, but he did know that at some point Yujin was still an idiot not by choice too. At the very least he often was goofing around. Richard usually always tried to think before he talked, he was never like that, if he felt something he said was stupid he simply didn't but now all of that was different and he didn't seem to be able to shut his mouth. Most of the time he didn't even mean what he said and often enough he tried to make a joke, but his face was stuck and nobody got it. Why did he change that much? He didn't like this at all and entertaining Yujins company didn't bring his old self back, nor did it fill the whole Dayan, Atwick and Flora left when they died. He missed them all and clinging to someone like Yujin wouldn't help him with that, but at least it did for some time, for a break and that was also something he needed. Did he grab Yujin tighter right now? Fuck.

      "If you want to get out of here, you should, otherwise you truly are safer staying right here.", Richard answered and then maybe Shuren wasn't even that wrong. Didn't Yujin say he wanted to come with Richard to Adrestia? How would he even manage that if he was out of form. Did he even know how to hold a weapon? It was cold right now, both of them didn't wear all too much and they were sweaty, but the cold burning into his skin felt good and let him focus on the present and not on the past. Yujins answer however wasn't what Richard wanted to hear and thus he used the snow in his hand, he actually didn't want to use before and just let it hit Yujins head. "That's not what I meant. How far is that then? A few days? Weeks? Can we make it there?", Richard asked. He told Yujin he wanted to do something stupid and while he didn't intend to run off and back to Adrestia, he just wanted to go somewhere and if he wasn't defying his own father than at least Yujins, by dragging him one step further than he ever got, before walking back.

    • “I have to be proud of the little things if I can’t remember any of the others, right?” When had he become this sappy? Yujin was in pain, not physically, not even entirely emotionally, but because all of this somehow hurt him - he’d forget, like he’d always done, because his memory didn’t retain a damn thing. Richard would be gone eventually and he’d probably wind up being someone that he never saw again, someone that never crossed his thoughts again, wasn’t it? “I just wish we’d met earlier - then you’d have been able to call me an idiot sooner”, he laughed, but that sounded kind of pained and strained, not like the usual one, did it? Whatever, he could blame it on the fact that his lungs ached, on the fact that nothing of this was even important to either of them - time moved on, much like his thoughts did and if he gave it a few hours, this conversation would be conveniently erased from his mind, just like … what was that again? It didn’t matter, instead he cuddled up to Richard some more when he was pulled closer and harder than before - they both were having a grand, old, painful time, were they not?

      “I might as well, you’re right”, he agreed. For that, he needed a sparring partner, at least if he wanted to get to the meat of it, yet he didn’t want to bug Richard about that - what about his father? Muhan would probably wipe the floor with him in one swift go, no wonder everyone claimed he was pretty much a rabid animal when it came to fighting, though, Yujin had seen him a few times and … “Did you ever sparr with your father? Do you think he could snap me like a twig?”, Yujin blurted out soon thereafter, but that was a silly question, wasn’t it? Neither of them were old enough to have seen the war, it only followed to know that someone who did would be messy and unfair in a fight. “That aside, I don’t want to stay here until the end of time, I’m sick and tired of Sile- aaaah! What was that for!” The snow was going to get his hair all wet and make it partially freeze on some spots, this was going to end in a disaster - or another cold. Yujin didn’t want to spend the days sick and alone in his bed, so he grabbed a fistful of snow as well and rubbed it into the blondes face - that was going to make him think about something else. “I’d say a good days ride from here, if we have a sturdy horse - which also means that we’d have to borrow one, but I know just the place!” Yujin did, it was called the royal stables and for some reason, he did know how to get there - if only by intuition. “Oh, actually, if you don’t want to waste an entire day because we are incredibly unprepared, I have another suggestion”, he inched upward, pressed his forehead against Richards and then grinned straight up into his face. “We can try beating each other up?”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "So you can't remember what you're good at?", Richard asked confused, this was such a pain, whatever. "What?", he shot right after because he didn't even know what Yujin meant by that. Was that supposed to be a compliment? Either way, Yujin didn't sound happy about his own joke or whatever it was and Richard didn't know what was going on in his head. If he wanted to tell him though, he just would, so there was no need to ask any questions. Instead he rather nodded at the next statement. "You should come up with a plan and stik to it, if you truly want to get stronger.", Richard answered and then Richard almost started laughing, instead he just blew out some air. "He's a damn idiot and if he were stronger no one would have died, but that is not meant in a physical sense. He'd swipe you off your feet in a second and probably every other person out here too.", Richard answered regarding Nayantai. The wolf was strong which was why Richard hadn't fought him by now, not for real, because he knew that he wouldn't win, not yet. "He trains with me sometimes.", he added, but suddenly got snow into his face and since the first thing he could grab was Yujins hair, he pulled on it to get him off of him. "For you being stupid, idiot!", he answered once he didn't have Yujins hands in his face anymore.

      Then Yujin came close and Richard just sighed and shook his head. "I have everything we need inside, we ride there, camp one night, go back. I thought you wanted out?", he said and eventually turned around to force Yujin on his back. He just sat himself on top of him quickly and grabbed his wrists to hold him down. "If I'd fight you, I'd just win, there is no point in that and I said I wanted to do something stupid. But if you're too scared, so be it, it was just a suggestion.", he said, then let go of Yujin again and stood up to get the snow off of his clothes. "If you ever want to leave this place you need to cross the desert or find someone that lets you on his boat, but I guess Shuren would notice that. You need a few test runs before, right? Unless you don't really want to get out of here?" Why was Richard trying to make Yujin come? The one with stupi ideas was usually Dayan, not Richard, but for some reason he wanted to get into trouble and this sounded fun. Maybe he also just wanted to be alone with Yujin as well as he wanted to prove something to both of them. It was stupid, but that was the point.

    • "That's not it. i just don't remember many achievements I could potentially brag about", he admitted. This was turning into a gloomy conversation on both sides and he didn't want it to - this was a waste of time, a waste of air and a waste of something else, something other than that, yet, he couldn't quite understand what it was. "Nothing, it's fine. I'm an idiot." What he meant by that, however, was that he probably would have had cemented Richard into his brain if only they had met before the accident, that way, he would at least have known who the blonde was - and why? Because he didn't forget anything of what happened before, but all of what happened after - usually - went straight into the trash and nowhere else, as stupid as it sounded, the truth lay right there for both of them to see - and it wouldn't change, not now or in ten years, when this conversation wasn't remembered by one of them. Everyone forgot, that was the gist of living, nothing else. "So you're telling me that, in at least a physical sense, Nayantai and Muhan would probably take a while to murder one another in some gruesome but purely physical way but I'd be dead meat?" The thing was, Yujin was fairly convinced that Muhan was the one that would get all of his teeth kicked in - that ... couldn't be fun, so no need to try. "What about me? Can I train with you? And don't call me an idiot, sourpuss!"

      Was his suggestions that disappointing? What a fucking pain. Yujin giggled. "I want out, but I didn't know you were prepared and throwing everything together in a rush is never good. Do we need anything besides a horse? I'll just tell them we're going for a ride and I'll sleep in the hut tonight, they'll buy that ... hopefully." That was all they needed to do, just to get away for a day, or two, or a bit more than that if they liked where they were. Sure, they could be back in the dead of the night, but Yujin didn't feel like riding back when the pure white snow was everything that illuminated the constant darkness. "At least you're nice to look at from down here, so I wouldn't call it a loss on my part!" Richard was hot, they had established that, or was that the other way around? Fuck, his memory had been better not too long ago and he solely blamed the blonde for making him even more mushbrained than before - love was a sickness, right? "I do want to get out of here and I'd cut off my shitty leg to do it, so ... fine! Go pack up your stuff, we're going camping or whatever you want to call it, I'm sick of this shit." Yujin was usually not too hard to convince, but he didn't even think twice about the fact that Shuren would probably murder him for overstepping his own boundaries. Whatever. "So, what else do we need? Except a horse."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Maybe another big hit on your head would fix you.", Richard suggested, but he didn't mean it. In the end maybe Yujins brain got even more messed up and he ended up being a potato. Yujin was weird either way, especially since he was so carefree about all of that and sometimes even joked about his bad memory. But Richard didn't whine about his heart either, did he now? He didn't joke about it though. It was just nothing he needed to live with. "I think you're dead meat and I don't know how your father fights, but I would place my bets on Nayantai. I'm not even sure if he feels pain, so you probably have to kill him to make him stop." Nayantai was at least by all the stories a beast and Richard remembered some occasions were he woke up for a short while and they still were in Adrestia. Nayantai had been full of blood and Richard doubted it was his alone. "You? Uh... sure, maybe not every day though. Do you even know how to hold a weapon?", Richard asked and he wasn't even joking, he doubted Yujin ever needed that.

      "A tent, sleeping bags, a pot, maybe some extra fur so we have it warm, a bow, some arrows, I'll take my sword and we can bring some firewood from here, so we don't have to search for one on the way. We could also bring food if we're not up for hunting ourselves.", Richard explained and thought about it once more. Did he miss something? They'd have water if they just melt some snow, anything else would just freeze in their bags anyway. "I'll wear my Thrian coat... I guess...", he added mumbling, he didn't want to freeze to death and he still could wear his Adrestian clothes underneath. "But... I... mh...", this was embarrassing. "I still don't know how to... get into that stuff. You need to help me..." How hard could it be? "Tell you what then, can you get the horses and come here? I'll pack our stuff, because if we show up there with all of that, there is no way they buy that you're not planning on going anywhere.", Richard suggested, that sounded like the best approach and he had some time to find some bags and all the stuff they needed. "Idiot...", he mumbled once more after being called hot, but didn't comment on it any further. "I can't think of anything else we need right now, we have some time to figure it out. It'll take you a good half an hour to get the horses and be back here, right?"

    • "I think it would rid me of the last of my memories, so no thank you", Yujin added, but that was all there was to it. The memory loss he experienced was, thankfully, not exactly permanent and it never would be, not if this went on, not if he could force himself to be someone that he wanted to be and at least retain a few memories, just something of anything and why was that? Because nothing else would work and he'd eventually turn into a vegetable one way or the other, especially when all of those around him that he knew, loved and cherished turned into nothing more than empty husks that he couldn't see or understand any longer. Fuck, his life was going to be sadder and sadder the longer he lived, wasn't it? "That sounds awful, but considering the things he probably went through, I'm almost sure that even if he feels pain, it's nothing compared to anything else." Wolves didn't call one another monsters, but Shuren sometimes brought up that Nayantai was a beast, in body and mind, and he wouldn't back down from a challenge, and as much as he had been a gentle soul beforehand, the war had ruined all of that and for what? Who knew, everyone in Silesse that had seen and lived through the war was fucked up. "Yes, I'm not completely useless." Shuren had his own, but Muhans were easy enough to master.

      However, whatever the case, defending himself with a few strings that cut through everything they met wasn't what he wanted to learn, he wanted to know how to hold a blade and so he did, many of them in fact. Some by Shuren, others by Muhan, but he didn't need any of them and whenever the opportunity arose that he could defend himself in armed combat, he never had anything around him to do something for him. This was a pain, pathetic and many different things at once, that much became apparent once he thought a bit too much about it. "So a whole list of things. I'll see what I can bring, maybe some hunting equipment to keep up the rouse? Like, we need the horses because we want to go hunting and all that, but it'll work out just fine." There it was again, a slight chuckle that left his lips and even if the blonde didn't want to hear it, damn, he was cute sometimes, wasn't he? "I'll help you when I get back, is that alright? This way, you won't accidentally trip, fall and break something before we even can go anywhere." Surely, Richard would not want to think too much about it, so he got up eventually and then turned on his heel. "Alright, I'll be back in no time, meaning, around 30 minutes, yes. Take your time and I'll try to think about what else we need!"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • It was better that Yujin would just forget Richard at some point, but at the same time it was kind of scary. He didn't intend to come back here, but that was the problem. He and Nayantai would die, but who was left to remember him then? Richard would just vanish, maybe he was some side note in a history book but no one that truly knew him would remain and that as if he dies twice, right? Did he even have the right to die if it meant that there was no one left remembering Dayan, Flora and Atwick as well? Fuck... but, he couldn't live on like this, revenge was all he had. "Nayantai never talked about what happened in the years he was missing, but I know it wasn't pretty.", Richard explained. He didn't even talk to Richards father about it, not even when they thought he couldn't hear them. And Rain also never had asked. Well it didn't matter, that was over and the wolf was old, Richard would beat him and then he was able to leave this place to restore order. None of those who did all that to him were allowed to live. "I'm surprised.", Richard commented, but good for Yujin, though he probably never used a weapon in true combat. But Richard wasn't any different and when it counted, he was stunned and didn't do anything to save his siblings.

      "Sure why not and if we actually want to hunt our own food, that is fine as well. I'll still take something we have stored, just in case, I don't want to starve.", Richard nodded. He didn't know where they were going, maybe finding some animal proved to be hard, so he rather had a backup plan. The clothes situation was annoying, but at least he agreed to wear something warmer. He'd also wash himself real quick, with molten snow water when Yujin was gone. "I'm not stupid, I won't trip!", Richard snorted. But he could wait and he would, since he was inside anyway, so he didn't need a stupid coat. Richard nodded when Yujin told him he'd be back in 30 minutes, with some horses and maybe something else. "Alright, see you then.", Richard said and when Yujin went on his way, Richard went inside to find some bags and grab sleeping bags, a tent, a pot and some other useful stuff. He looked at their supplies and picked out some stuff they could make a soup with if they didn't find anything to hunt. Why did he even come up with this idea? Well, he somehow wanted to do this, to get out, to be alone with Yujin and to make him be somewhere else than in Silesse, somewhere he never was before, even if it was still boring cold Thria, probably still part of Shurens land. Whatever, that wasn't the point.