bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

    • "Not always, only sometimes", but Richard wasn't wrong. What drove the wolf so mad that he yearned for the affection of a broken man, of someone that had little to no interest in the wolf and that would rather spend his time alone, sulking about the things that had happened to him, his family and everyone he cherished? Why was Yujin hellbent on pretending that Richard was someone that he wasn't and why was it so awful to realize that no matter what, he wasn't going to get someone that fulfilled all his expectations? It sounded silly, it always would, and why? Because Yujin of Silesse was a narrowminded fool that would do best to not only shut up and focus on other things, but also because letting go didn't seem to be part of his vocabulary, as much as no strings attached seemed to be a word from a foreign language to him. "You're nice, I like you regardless, though - even if you sometimes lash out", he elaborated, but that was how it was, wasn't it? Richard did listen to Yujins stupid problems in spite of his own, he always seemed to have an open ear for him, at least when they were drunk as all hell and right now, they were doing something that they didn't know if they wanted it at all. So that was proof enough to claim they at least gave a damn, didn't they?

      "I enjoy talking to you, even if it pisses you off sometimes", he clarified, but this wasn't going to heal them, this wasn't going to salvage what they were trying to break down, trying to deconstruct and it had become painfully obvious to begin with. Sure, who could blame them? Neither of them were expectionally good at letting things go, at least it seemed that way and Yujin was even worse at that, he hid it beneath a pained smile, or at least tried to, despite falling apart at the seams. "... I can do that", he swiftly answered, knew that he probably couldn't, but he shut his mouth for now, let himself be pushed onto Quans bed and was surprised that it not only ... what even? This wasn't about Quan, this was about himself, about Richard and the fact that the blonde was avoiding his gaze, was avoiding his eyes and rather pulled his legs apart, now that he lay there, quite defenseless, and Yujin could only watch on. "What do y- ... I thought I was sup- akh!", he suddenly yelped, confused about was hapenning, but the kisses on his thighs felt nice, but what actually made him flinch was the fact that Richard put his tongue to good use, not so much his mouth, but that wasn't important - they should salvage this feeling that Yujin thought was only temporary and therefore, he clawed himself into the sheets beneath. "You're ... so far away ... that isn't fair ..."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Most of the time...", Richard mumbled, would Yujin even stay away only because he promised it now? Had he ever been able to keep away in the first place? No, not really. Maybe he'd come back? No! Richard didn't want that! He didn't want any attachment, but in fact it was already too late for that. He didn't just push Yujin away because he didn't want to lose him and because he was scared of not being able to leave if he came any closer to him, the reason he ended this was Yujin himself. Because he didn't want him to hurt everytime he met Richard. He didn't want him to cry every time he pushed him away seemingly out of nowhere and he didn't want him to be mad and upset multiple days because he was treated unfairly, only to throw it all out of the window as soon as his gaze met Richards and as soon as he had the chance to spend a night with him. Was there even more to all of this than sex? Did they both mistake feelings for arousal? Both of them slept with others before, so this wasn't new territory, so why did they act like this? "You're an idiot...", Richard concluded, but he was a loving idiot, a caring one and he was way too nice to someone like Richard. It wasn't fair to use him like this and that realization just strengthened his resolve, sadly.

      Richard was continuing to softly kiss Yujin and let his tongue feel him up, taking in his taste probably the last time. His fingers softly caressed his skin too, the ski on his thighs, then moving upwards over his knee and eventually to the scar that was enveloping his leg. Because it was only fair, Richard then put one hand on his neck to losen up the knot of his neckerchief. He opened it up and revealed his own scar. Then he softly reached for one of Yujins hands to give him the fabric. It was a sign, not much more, he didn't expect him to do anything with it, he just wanted him to know that it wasn't there anymore. "I want you... to feel... good.", Richard said between the kisses, but that wasn't all. He didn't want to show his face, because it would only reveal that he didn't like this goodbye at all himself. He wanted him to still be his friend. Why wasn't Yujin angry anymore? Why was he suddenly no longer upset? Richard would have deserved to be yelled at, he would have deserved some more bites, a kick in the face or a hand pulling on his hair, but all the anger just washed away as soon as Richard told him, that this was over. Did he want to be punished by Yujin? Maybe, because he had been an asshole and he was an idiot now. He didn't know what was right and he had no one to talk to. He took hm in now, slowly and caring, because what else could he do? They had the whole night for themselves, right? There was no need to rush and he just wanted Yujin to have a good time, while the blonde sat in front of the bed on the wooden boards and tested his limits, to see if he could take it all in, without gagging. But he didn't look up once.

    • Could he even contest that? His memories were already all fucked up to begin with, Richard wouldn't want to hear from someone like him that he was wrong, that no, he wasn't actually an ass, but Yujin had a better way around that. "... You can be ... nice too, like ... right now ...", he breathed out, was trying to get himself to think about something else - he was ignoring the fact that this was supposed to be goodbye, and why did he? Not only because he was selfish, but also because it couldn't be, because he didn't want it to be and the fact that he had to accept it, once this night ended, well, that was just more of a bummer and yet, he couldn't start crying again. This ... was only superficial, their relationship had been short and rough, fully of bumpy roads and shitty opinions, so why was he sad? It would be for the best, that was, what he had to tell himself to make the pain go away - for the best, nothing else, to keep him and others were they were, to keep his feelings at bay, to get Richard away and save both of them from a heartbreak. "... At least ...", the wolf said, but he was already feeling ... like what? "I'm an idiot ... you like ...", Yujin eventually huffed and it wasn't wrong, at least it hadn't been up until now, but it was ridiculous, too. How long would he tell himself that Richard was going to keep doing this?

      He felt useless, he couldn't do anything to give Richard any form of pleasure, instead, he just felt his kisses, felt what they did to his skin, how they made him burn up like cinders, from inside out. This was horrid, he knew as much, because it would be the last time he'd feel like that, much like it'd be the last time they were doing anything like this. There he went, struggling to upkeep all of those shitty thoughts, all of those things he couldn't and didn't want to hear, but something was off and he wasn't sure what he was, he only listened, then felt, but he soon enough found a piece of fabric in his hands, something that he wasn't able to recognize in the darkness that he seemingly would soon call home, but when he brought it up to his eyes, a realization dawned upon him. This ... why did Richard do that? Because he always deliberately showed his scars, because there was no other way around? Were they equals like this, or was it just to numb the pain? Yujin had no idea, but he held onto it, as if it were some sort of memento, even though he had to give it back soon enough. "Then ...", then what? Come here, give me a kiss? That was hardly a command that the blonde would adhere to and Yujin didn't want to force him to do something for either of them, so instead, he let his free hand wander downward as far as it could and, ever so slightly, grabbed ahold of some blonde strands, but he wasn't pulling on them, he actually was feebly stroking over Richards head, wasn't he? "You ... are still ... a tease, I see ...", Yujin mumbled, already exasperated. Wasn't his stamina shit? But why? The only thing that came to mind was the tenderness of the situation he found himself in, but was that really it? Or did Richard just suddenly become really, really good at this?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Right, he was nice too, just like now and he liked being nice, but maybe he really shouldn't. Maybe this was the problem and when he wanted Yujin to stay away from him, he should leave, or be mean now. He should push him around, tell him that his eyes sucked and that he was a good for nothing brat, that had no idea what loss really meant. But that wasn't what he thought and what he felt and he wanted this night to go on forever. Neither of them wanted to say goodbye and yet they did. This was stupid, but because Richard liked Yujin, he ended this. If he was anyone else, anyone he didn't know and didn't care about, Richard would probably continue all this, but Yujin hoped for more than Richard could give him and it would only be a long hurtful and bumpy road that ended the same as if they ended it now. Yujin knew and felt that Richard liked him too and this was a problem. He understood that it made no sense to Yujin. If both of them liked each other, where was the problem? But it wasn't that simple, not at all and Yujin couldn't understand it, because he still believed, that Richard would come back from Adrestia alive.

      Richard thought about letting Yujin keep the neckerchief, but that would only hurt, right? It would remind him of the blonde, of what he wanted but lost, it was stupid to think that he would want it. In the end Richard only lived fifteen minutes away, he didn't leave just yet, so it would only tempt him to come by. And what about the clothes they left at the others house? Richard still had Yujins mantle and Yujin still had some of Richards Thrian clothes. If they' exchange those, it would just be a disaster. Maybe it was best to send Nayantai exchanging those items without getting involved. But why did he think about that now when he should have been busy with what was right in front of his face and soon enough back in his mouth again. He felt the hand on his head, it was soft and caring as well. They both still felt sad, right? They dried to drown all that and caress the other with soothing gestures. "We have... time... right...?", Richard mumbled, then he continued and pressed his lips against Yujin. Then he moved a little bit closer and softly grabbed Yujins legs to lift them up over his shoulders and made them cross behind his back. It was fine being trapped like this, it felt good to feel Yujins warmth around him and he was okay with not getting away like this so easily. His hand was still on Yujins upper thigh and he made sure he was still able to relax the injured leg.

    • This was sad, emotionally charged, but in all the wrong directions and for all the wrong reasons. Yujin felt as if the sole reason he'd agreed to break it off with the blonde to get something like this out of all of that, but ... love could hurt, too, and he'd realized that a tad bit too late. The truth was that neither of them could really think too much about it all, but they also knew, for much more than a fact, that any realization they might have had about something, it all turned to shit the moment Yujin had gotten jealous and had been ... "I ... wasn't mad ...", the wolf suddenly babbled, because he wasn't, he was frustrated and that was something he hadn't said, something that Richard wasn't in the know of and he hated himself for it, for not being honest, but honesty wouldn't change a thing, as much as it wouldn't change either of them, not for better or for worse. "I ... was jealous", he elaborated, but he knew that that wasn't going to help much, it just attached one more string to a situation that they were trying to make stringless, a situation and a relationship they tried to rip apart and yet, somehow, they completely failed not only themselves but also all of their expectations by spinning this further and further. The blonde was right, one more night was going to help them, yet they did try to, didn't they?

      Why was he clinging to a piece of fabric like that? It did smell like Richard, it also faintly smelled like soap and snow, like all the smoke it had sucked up in the den, but it was alright, it still showed who the blonde was, who he'd be from here on out and it reminded him of the fact that they both were but transient guests, weren't they? The world was going to crash, tu burn, to die eventually and before that happened, both of them would, they would be the last of their bloodline, or rather, Yujin wished he was, he wanted to put a nail into the coffin of his heritage, much like he put a nail into the coffin that was supposed to be his and Richards relationship. "Yes ... all the time ... we want ... tonight ...", Yujin gave back, but he made clear, for some odd reason, that there would be no 'we' beyond that, that tonight and probably the morning that bled into tomorrow, was the only thing they'd have and then, as if it had to happen, they'd just abandon everything they'd built up in the last weeks, even if it was ripe with much more disappointment than any of them were willing to admit. What was it worth, though? His legs moved soon thereafter, not on his own accord, but rather because Richard willed them to, but it wasn't bad, it was a push in the right direction, especially when there was a pesky hand on that even peskier leg of his - for some reason, it elevated the pain he felt, just like that, because ... it sometimes did hurt, didn't it? But what hurt more was the blonde before him, the guy that made him moan right now and Yujin, who knew they were alone, didn't even try to bite it back, not once - there was no need to.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard was occupied, but he still listened to Yujin and took his time to respond. He kind of feared Yujin was, or did he hope that? "I... kind of... wanted that...", Richard admitted as well, why was he even that honest. Shit. He didn't want this to end and there were already a lot of feelings attached he needed to cut dry. He didn't want to be alone though, did he? Why where his thoughts circling over the same topic over and over again when he had already decided? He knew there was nothing he could change about who he was and he couldn't change anything about Yujin who just took every hit, without lashing back. He hated the thought of hurting him. "But... you were in a bad mood... before...", he also pointed out and everytime he did something he seemed to put more effort in his actual task, as if he wantd to apologize that he stopped for a moment to answer. He really shouldn't, he should keep going and forget about everything else, because hearing Yujins breath going faster and his voice slightly tremble was a good thing. He liked accomplishing something for a change and he liked to make Yujin happy. It was no apology, it would never be, but if he could take the pain away, that was a good thing. And Yujin always seemed to do the same for the blonde.

      Yujin was starting to moan and both of them knew that there was no reason to hold back tonight. They were all alone in this hut, no sisters in the next room, no one near that could hear them, or at least they wouldn't care and not even know who made those noises that came out of that little wooden home. But there was something missing. Something important, though... no it was fine. One hand of Yujin was in Richards hair, one held onto the fabric he gave him, he didn't need to hold it right now, instead he listened to the moans and the body that was starting to move before him. He didn't try to tease Yujin into doing something, into begging, or forcing himself down Richards throat, but he also didn't want this to end too soon. First, Yujin needed to forget what this night was, it didn't matter right now and he deserved a good night, right? Or was Richard just being selfish? Maybe. Still, at the moment Yujin was all that counted, making him feel good and better than last time Richard did this. He took it slow, tried to find out what Yujin liked and did exactly that, he just wanted to hear more of this moaning, he wanted it to cut the silence and find its way into Richards brain. He could concentrate on that and it felt good.

    • "You ... wanted me ... to be jealous? Why?", his voice was trembling and he didn't know how to feel about it. Did that mean that, Richard, of all people, was trying to coax a reaction out of him that was the furthest thing from no strings attached? Yujin couldn't tell, but what he knew was that he, of all people, wasn't supposed to be jealous. For fucks sake, he had a girlfriend, but whenever he was with Richard, whenever they did something like this, nothing mattered and it all just went out of the window, was thrown into a corner and forgotten, as it should and would be every single time from here on out. They weren't friends, they'd never be and the sole assumption that had been made, the one that they were friends with benefits, fuckbuddies, that wasn't even something Yujin could recall quite well. "Mhm ... because ... it pissed ... me off ... and because I ... shouldn't be jealous", he forced out between some of his moans, gripping the fabric a bit harder than he most likely should, but he did hold onto it and when it was time, he'd give it back to the person it belonged to ... just, he wanted to hold onto this a little while longer, all the while Richard was allowed to drive him mad, with whatever he wanted.

      There was no reason to be gentle, to be loving or caring, this could be nasty and full of wavering dissatisfaction, but it wasn't, it was somehow more loving, less messy and a lot more ... weird than usual. There was no need for them to pretend that they wanted to end this, yet they should, but in the end, they were just two stupid idiots that didn't know better, that didn't know what healing meant, or enjoying themselves, but now, now that Yujin thought that he could cut some ties, he could cut none at all and it sucked, it majorly sucked. "Richard ...", Yujin expressed, maybe even slightly moaned, because that was what occupied his mind right now, what filled his thoughts and didn't let him be who he wanted to. What was he touching? What should he be touching? It didn't matter, but when his hand moved from Richards hair, it looked for some sort of support, but the bedsheets weren't good enough for that, so he deliberately grabbed the hand that was support that shitty, fucked up leg of his - he didn't care if he'd be fucked senseless and then fill the stinging pain of this stupid leg, he wanted to hold onto something that wasn't just a remnant of the person that would disappear from his life sooner than later, he wanted more than he ought to, which was why he took a deep breath, but ... he wasn't done just yet, neither of them were. "Richard ...", why did he sound sadder the second time? Yujin didn't know, but he really didn't want to, this was fine the way it was.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard didn't answer, not now. He had other things to do and it felt wrong to let go of Yujin now. He'd answer him later to his questions, right now neither of them should be thinking about what happened before that night or what would happen tomorrow. One last night... it should be treasured not wasted with stupid thoughts and stupid discussions. If they'd be what they wanted to be, there would also not be any feelings, but there were and it was painfully clear to Richard tonight. It wasn't only Yujin who hoped for more, who wanted to be around the pissed blond asshole for some odd reason, Richard wanted to be around Yujin too. Not only to have sex with him, there were also other times that were nice, without sex and without drugs. Right now he was drunk and high again sure, but he didn't feel much of it, probably because their little fight - or whatever it had been - had sobered him up pretty fast and now this felt more pure than before. Still, Richard seemingly only was honest when he drank, or when he was about to break, just like last time when Yujin comforted him.

      This blowjob wasn't as messy as the last one. Last time Richard was out of it, very tired, high and his blood was everywhere but not in his head. He first didn't even quite know what Yujin wanted of it and then he thought he needed to be fast and messy, that he needed his hands too to satisfy the wolf, but that wasn't true, was it? He knew what he was doing now, at least he believed he did, there was more to it than just bopping his head back and forth and he took his breaks to breath and swallow at the exact right times instead of sitting in a pool of saliva already. The blonde heard his name and he knew that what he was doing was right, though Yujins hand left his head and instead fumbled around the sheets and his leg until it got a hold of Richards. He let go of Yujins leg and instead was holding his hand tightly. He softly squeezed his fingers and let him know that he was here, right now he was here and wouldn't go anywhere. There was no need for any form of sadness in Yujins voice right now, not when he said Richards name once more. Not when he did everything to make him feel good and forget about the goodbye that was awaiting.

    • Suddenly, there was nothing but silence between them and Yujin did feel inclined to say something, to get rid of it, to stop having his own mind and thoughts run havoc, but he knew better - if Richard had wanted to answer, he would have and there was no need to force something that would end in something disastruos either way, so he just lay there, held onto the hand he'd taken and let himself be manhandled like that. Richard had wanted this, was taking him in, testing his limits, but Yujin was the one that was fairly convinced that he wouldn't last long, that the blonde did have the better stamina of the two of them and that there was no need to try and fish for compliments tonight, or make false assumptions. Silence, disrupted by his own moans, felt odd - he sounded as if he had been overtaken by something, whatever it was merely lust or something else, Yujin didn't care - he liked being who he was, liked being where he was and more importantly, he did like teasing Richard for who he thought he was, but not tonight, not when all of his emotions did feel so barren, so hurtful to himself that he didn't want someone else to suffer from the exact same thing. What was happiness worth tonight, as opposed to all the other times?

      "Richard, I ...", Yujin suddenly hoffed, as he knew what was coming and he also was, very much, aware that he shouldn't be the one doing this, that it was far too early, that he should at least try to pull out, but all of this had felt overwhelming from the getgo. Tenderness, usually, was the wrong approach to force onto him, but this time, not only quite liked it, he wondered if there was any other way he could make himself feel like this, why his now numb finger- and toetips burned, why his vision was blurry, now that he opened those eyes of his or why there had been warmth pooling in that stupid stomach of his all alone. As if on reflex, the grasp that his legs barely had around Richard pulled tighter, his entire world was filled with stars and he ... came, just like that, very much down Richards throat, and it felt ecstatic, it felt ... odd. Yujin took a while, needed a breather and still, he was gently squeezing the blondes hand in his own, was eventually looking down and loosening his grip on him, pulling his legs away. The wolf needed to catch his breath, but the hand that held onto the neckerchief patted the space next to him on the bed. "Come ... here ...", he demanded of the blonde, was that too much?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Yujin did enjoy himself, didn't he? At least somehow, some way, despite what this night meant, or should mean to them. Did Richard still want this? He was being unfair again, because he wanted to tell Yujin parts of the truth and he only wanted that, because he hoped that it would make Yujin stay and fight for him. But he shouldn't want that and even though he planned on answering Yujins questions once he was done here, he suddenly didn't anymore. He wanted to tell him, that the reason he wanted to make him jealous simply was, that he had feelings for him too. He wanted to tell him an idiot, because it was obvious. But it was better this way, if he didn't see and feel it, if he thought Richard always just wanted one thing and now that he came to close, he backed out. He had feelings for him and it scared him, he wanted Yujin to fight for him, but he also didn't. His life was complicated enough without the wolf, but on the other hand, these problems felt better, like something he could fix somehow, only that fixing in this case was doing the right thing and call this over, before Yujin got hurt.

      It felt like Richard wanted to put all he'd miss into the task at hand, into this one night and he tried his best to love Yujin tonight, to let him feel his feelings for him, without saying a word. But was't that as bad as telling him to stay? It didn't mater, he wouldn't back off, not when Yujin was moaning like that, not when he said Richards name like that. Richard wasn't surprised when Yujins body tensed up and his legs did the same. He wasn't surprised when he was pressed towards Yujin and forced to take in more of him, without the possibility to back away, to breath or swallow. Richard felt the bitter and warm liquid spew out, he felt it flowing down his throat, most of it not even touching his tongue a single time. He tried to swallow, but he really couldn't and small tears formed at the corners of his eyes. But it didn't hurt, he didn't mind. He kept still, his mouth still full and he waited for Yujin to find back into reality. When the pressure subsided Richard softly pulled back and wiped away any remnants from his face. Then he slowly got up and eventually looked at Yujin. He looked at his naked body, at his ragged breathing and red spots on his skin that formed because he probably had gotten hot. There was not much light in here, one strip of moonlight that found it's way through a small gap between the curtains and the red flickering light emenating from the fireplace, but that was enough. Yujin was beautiful the way he lay there, his hair forming rivers and running down on all sides of the bed. This was... "Mhm...", Richard replied, snapped out of it and used his arm once more to wipe over his face. Then he let himself down on the bed next to Yujin and grabbed the hand that was still holding his neckerchief. He didn't try to receive it, he just wanted to hold Yujins hand.

    • It was only fair for the two of them to say goodbye eventually, for them to not bother about one anothers opinion, to move on, to be who they were, who they ought to be and who they always should be, but it felt wrong to deny his fellow wolf a proper goodbye, it felt wrong to just call it quits now that he came, so he wasn't going to let that happen. Actually, Yujin did have an idea, now that Richard was laying next to him, holding both of his hands like that and he wondered if he even could do something worthwhile - instead, he pressed their foreheads together and wallowed in the euphoria he felt, just for a short period of time, just for long enough to feel something other than the fact that he had, quite literally, ruined Richards insides, even if nobody was going to see that. Emotionally and physically, as stupid as it sounded and that meant, they'd be at it for a while. There it was, he pressed a soft peck to Richards lips - and yet, he wanted more. Yujin didn't know what to do, but he had an idea, just for a moment, because it sounded like it would be fun - which was also why ... "You need to ... let go for a ... moment ...", his strained voice informed Richard as he pulled his hands away, alongside the neckerchief and fumbled around with it, before tying it over Richards face, more specifically, his eyes.

      Richard hadn't wanted to look at him earlier, so this was something that would help, because Yujin couldn't hold onto that neckerchief forever - and he just wanted to make the blonde feel good, too. In turn, he removed himself, grabbed one hand again and went all the way down, between Richards very own legs, his mouth slowly forming a trail of soft kisses and slight bites, nothing outrageous, nothing that would leave marks, especially when there was a one hand trailing right after his mouth, as if to reassure Richard he wasn't going anywhere, except a bit further down. His body would hate him at the end of this, but his free hand was enough to push those two legs apart a bit, enough for Yujin to lean down and only breathe onto Richards dick for a good while, trying to figure out his options, or the things he should be doing, before he slightly chuckled - what was he going to do? This should be soft, tender and all kinds of things, which was why he started off by kissing it, only to eventually put his tongue to use, but he still went slow, as if something more, something faster and something more sloppy could hurt. Feeling good was their main goal, nothing else. Surely, the blonde had figured that out by now, much like the wolf had done, but that still begged a question or two, that still gave them no idea of what was important, where they needed to call it quits ... but if Richard wanted, he could tear that piece of fabric right off, it wasn't really in the way, either. Maybe it just was there to spare him the sight of someone that felt guilty.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Now Richard lay there and thoughts were twisting and turning in his head, but at least they weren't about the usual shit, not even his brothers birthday which was today. Instead he thought about Yujin and closed his eyes when their foreheads met again, just so he didn't have to look at him. I don't want you to go... was probably the most consistent thought and it hammered against the inside of his skull over and over again, trying to break free, but his mouth didn't comply, his mouth stayed shut. His mind was screaming those words, his heart was aching and he asked himself how that even happened. Was any of that real? He didn't know Yujin, he met him a few times and that was all. He was there when Richard needed him, but that was about it, so maybe all of this just felt like more and instead it was just the fact that Yujin was the one being there instead of someone else. The kiss snapped him out of it once more, even if it was only a short peck. Understanding the words Yujin said took a few moments, but eventually Richard let go of him and just stayed where he was while Yujin was fumbling around on the dark. In the next moment Yujin was leaning over him, binding the neckerchief around Richard again, but not around his neck and instead around his eyes. "What are you...?", he started to ask but Yujin was already moving again.

      The wolf took one of Richards hands again. It would have been easy to remove the fabric from his face, but he did want to give Yujin the opportunity to do whatever he wanted. It was tights, he couldn't peak out of it, but that was fine, wasn't it? He trusted Yujin. The next thing he knew was that he felt Yujins lips on his skin. He flinched, because he hadn't been able to see where it landed or what Yujins did and the following kisses tickled and at the same time felt more intense than ever before. He got goosebumps, his hair stood on end already and he didn't dare ruin the moment right away. He had done something for Yujin and now he wanted to repay him for it. But did Richard want that? He felt more kisses and thought about ripping the fabric off or using his hand to do something, but he was pretty sure Yujin wanted him to hold still, so he did and it was harder this way than if he had just tied him up. Richard felt Yujin between his legs, felt him move them apart and his stomach already started to tingle and blood was filling his lower body. Having Yujins cum flow down his throat before kind of already set him on fire, so now it wasn't too hard to convince Richard that not only Yujin would feel good tonight. "You don't have to repay the favor...", Richard still mumbled and suddenly felt Yujins breath, nothing more. This was odd, he did absolutely nothing but Richards mind was going wild, trying to fill the blanks and imagine what Yujin was doing, what he did, where he was exactly. There was nothing more for a while and still Richards cheeks got red and he bit his lower lip. He still wanted to move... Suddenly, he felt more, soft lips and tingling hair that brushed over the skin around the object of Yujins interested. This was... actually feeling nice, but... "You're just... copying me...", he pointed out under his breath but bit back a weirdly high pitched moan. Why was so little doing so much to him? He put one foot down on the bed eventually, the other was still stretched out, but he didn't do anything more, maybe just slightly twitch under Yujins touch, wanting more and less at the same time. He liked to be teased, didn't he?

    • Yujin of Silesse had many things that he wanted and equally as many that he would get, if only he asked nicely. Richard, however, wasn't a thing he could ask for, much less was he something or someone that Yujin would just be handed by someone else, because again, the blonde wasn't a thing, he was a human being that had every right to call all of this off, to push him away, to make him leave, to make him go and then tell him that none of the things that he'd done were of any importance. Yujin knew that goodbyes often felt awful and that today wasn't the best day to actually say goodbye to someone like Richard, yet, he didn't even think twice about it - tonight wasn't what they should be worrying about, tomorrow would be what was worse. Occupying himself with a menial task seemed fine, especially when he could return the favor, the fact that he'd felt pleasure not too long ago and therefore, for all it was worth, he did squeeze the blondes hand one more time and he did, in fact, start to move his lips and tongue a bit faster, as if he found that this rhythm was going to bore him, that he was growing restless because there wasn't enough to grasp, despite the fact that he still held Richards hand in his own.

      "I want us both ... to be satisified", he mumbled, once he could catch a short break, but he knew that all of this was just happening because, after all, he still liked to tease Richard and he, once more, wouldn't admit that the world didn't revolve around them but rather, that he was a selfish prick that had no idea of personal boundaries and had gotten too close, too fast and now, he was paying the price. "Would you like me to change it up then?", the wolf wanted to know suddenly, but he could try and do what he did best - which, very much, was letting that free hand of his roam over the patches of skin he didn't want to look at, the one that the glistening, orange flame was thinly reflected by and now that he glanced up, the neckerchief looked ridiculous, all the while he did bop his head up and down and found himself wondering what kind of things Richard would tolerate, what he wouldn't and what would break him. Yujin did speed up, then slowed down and kept the slow pace going, then went back to the normal one and he probably did create something incredibly hard to keep up with, but a moan was enough affirmation. "No need to hold back", he reassured his bedmate, then, he stopped however and looked up - Richard did look nice like this, sprawled before him, confused and defenseless, didn't he? "You can take it off if you want to watch", Yujin clarified before he put his mouth to better use - this wasn't going to go on for too long, would it?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard asked himself if this was a good idea, if it was alright to give way and grant Yujin a final wish, a final night. What if he asked for another one and another one, would Richard even be able to say no? He liked Yujin, he liked being with him, he liked how annoying he was and he liked his chuckle that was so cute and felt so honest.He also liked how he made him feel in moment like this and he liked the fact that he was able to be weak, without feeling like shit. He could give way and stop the endless struggle of wanting to be strong and independent and could just give himself up and into Yujins hands for him to do whatever he wanted to do with him. If it was teasing him, alright, if it was making Richard swallow all his cum to have it sit in his stomach, that was fine too. He didn't need to compete with him, he didn't need to show him how strong he was, how hard his punch was, or how loud he could bark. All of the persona Richard built around himself was not needed when he was with Yujin and maybe it wouldn't be so hard to let it all drop. But then again, this wasn't about hin but what he felt was best for Yujin. But how would he know tha- no, he was searching for excuses.

      "Thank... you...", Richard rambled, but what was that supposed to mean? Nothing happened yet, so he just thanked Yujin for simply thinking about his satisfaction too? What was going on with him? He felt like all the nonsense he said in nights like this wasn't induced by alcohol or drugs, it was Yujin and it didn't matter if Richard was high, because a simple touch made him lose his mind already. "N-no...", he answered, no this was fine, it felt good even though it was slow. Yujins hand was starting to move again, touched him in various spots and made him shiver once or twice. Yujin changed the speed, got faster and so dd Richards breathing. He yelped, his free hand burried itself in the mattress, but then all of it almost came to a hold. Richard was surprised and his body wanted more. It slightly twitched and his hip was moving on its own and finally he received a faster pace again. It made him moan and relax once more, but then again he was denied, was twitching and searching for more touch. This was torture, but... it felt good. Richard didn't hold back, he groaned when it got faster and he whimpered when it got slower again. The Yujin stopped and Richard wondered what he was doing, wanted more again. "N-no...", he said once more, he didn't want to take that thing off. "You can... can... do... whatever you... want... tonight...", he pressed out and let out another moan when he finally felt Yujins lips again. He was his for a few more hours. "P-please... Yu... jin...", he begged though, he wanted more, but more of what? Yujins lips, or some more torture?

    • Richard was nice to look at, that was for sure and Yujin knew as much. Like this, he was even more helpless than usual, but not only that, it was almost mesmerizing to give him a glance, then another one and then another one after that, all because his heart in his chest beat so fast and Yujin couldn't take his eyes off of the man he wanted to push away from him after that. Anyone that could hear their conversations would probably claim they were nothing but shy of being stupid teenagers, too afraid to not tack value onto something that didn't need one, but Yujin begged to differ - he liked the blonde more than he should, wanted to entangle them both in the web that their weird strings had formed and never find out again, but he couldn't admit that, he couldn't tell Richard that and he couldn't ever think too much about any of this. "Why?", he asked, chuckled even - what was he thanked for and more importantly, why was he thanked for anything? "No need to, we both deserve something good", Yujin breathed in between his many pauses out. Richard should hear and know how his voice felt, what his tongue and mouth felt like and while that didn't make him crawl back all of a sudden, it would give him a good, lasting impression that the wolf wouldn't have to care too much about.

      "It's a little late for that", he declared, now that he'd already changed his approach, the way he did this, the way he tried to do this, but it was fine - he felt good and the blonde, seemingly, did too. There was nothing else they needed, there never would be another, second thought that they had to waste on something like that and the truth was, that they both probably anticipated another time that would never really come to either of them. The makeshift blindfold stayed on, much like Yujin was still doing the devils work and teasing Richard as good as he could, dragging his nails ever so slightly across his stomach, branching out and finding his way across the blondes hips, before he squeezed some part of his ass that his free hand could reach like that. "What do you want?", the wolf asked, slowing down again, only to take his mouth off of Richards dick, to blow some air onto it, seemingly torturing him some more, but at least that one hand of his was squeezing the blondes hand, too, and this felt like they were inseperable, even though he knew better. This was anything but a proper, good goodbye, but it would make do and now that Yujin felt his own heart flutter, his stomach full of feelings tingle, he did up the pace, let it become a bit rougher, then went back to torturing Richard, but eventually, they'd have to reach a point where faster was no option and slowing down would cause the blonde to go insane. Once they'd both felt good, they still could decide on a second, or well, third round, right?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Did Richard truly deserve something good after how he acted the last time he met Yujin? He pushed him away just like that, without explaining anything and he rushed off and back home. As always Yujin was the one that came back to him, that forced him to go out, instead of it being Richard for once. "Do... I...?", Richard asked breathless, but maybe he didn't and that was why he found himself tortured, even if it was bittersweet. But no, Yujin wasn't mad at him, he never was for long, he was forgiving a kind, no match for someone like Richard who lived for revenge. He moaned again, Yujin was driving him insane and he knew that, he wanted that and yet it still felt loving - not sad anymore though and that was a good thing. Still, Richard tried to convince himself to change his mind, he did back and forth, even now, especially now when he felt what he was going to miss. But it wasn't alright, he couldn't be always nice, he couldn't be drunk and high whenever he met Yujin, right? But would it be wrong to only meet sporadically and then let the feeling flow over? Would that be so bad? All the other days Yujin could still stay with Yin.

      Richard groaned some more, he twitched and his muscles were tightening over and over again. He struggled to stay composed under Yujins touch, but why did he try? What did he want? Actually he wanted this night to go on, he didn't want this to end, only because both of them were satisfied once, he wasn't tired and if he went to sleep, their little adventure was over forever. Richard squeezed Yujins hand and didn't know what to say. He didn't have a definitive idea, but for now he wanted to continue what they were doing now and he wanted approval to let go. "Can... Can I... c-ah!", he wanted to ask but in that moment Yujin stopped with letting Richard grasp for his touch and instead brought his head down again, rougher and faster than before. He whimpered once more when the torturing began. "P-please...", he begged again and eventually reached out his free hand to find Yujins head and softly push it back down. "No... more breaks... please...", he reiterated and got what he wanted eventually, didn't he. Other than the wolf Richard let go again, let him pull away when he warned him with moaning Yujins name once more. Then his body tensed up, a loud moan left his throat and he bent his back. He needed time to breath and for a second asked himself why he couldn't see, but he answered his own question. His body was still trembling and sensitive, but he softly let go of Yujins hand to turn himself around, even though his body wasn't quite listening to all he wanted from it. "I want... more..."

    • Fuck, why on earth did he let Richard do all of that to him and his jumbled up mind? This was supposed to be goodbye, it was supposed to hurt, to sting and a plethora of other things - and it did, but aside from that, it also felt incredible, it felt soft and fragile, painful even, as if the fact that their skin touched was going to not only burn them, singe them - but rather, set them aflame with something more, something worse than desire. “Why wouldn’t you? You deserve good things, too”, he reminded the blonde, but he hardly needed to - not when they were compromised in a position like this, not when their was no way out of it all for either if them if they kept up doing all of those things just like that. However, Yujin didn’t know what Richard wanted, not at first, but he eventually figured it out when his head was pressed down, forced to barely be able to move - it only got better when the body under him tensed up, when the moans got louder, when his name fell from the blondes lips and Yujin didn’t feel like shying away - well, that just meant that he’d ... fuck. This looked messy, unceremoniously and Yujin wiped the liquid from his face, partially from Richards body, too, before the blonde just let go.

      Huh? What was ... he was probably tired, right? “More?”, he asked, his voice was trembling, much like Richards body had earlier and then, he swallowed, pretty audible at that. Not because there was some of Richards cum in his mouth, but because he offered himself to the wolf like that, even though he seemingly didn’t want to be seen, not perceived, nothing of that at all. A sigh spilled from Yujins lips, before he chuckled and grabbed one of the pillows, to shove it beneath Richard, to lift him up ever so slightly - and because it would give some more friction, wouldn’t it? “It’s a damn shame I can’t see your face, though”, the wolf complained, but he’d take what he was given, there was no need to think twice about it, and ... actually ... he did use the opportunity to slightly slap the blondes ass, then giggle about it. “At least I can do that now, I’d say”, Yujin exclaimed, but then he did lean over to the nightstand, crawling over half the bed just to reach it and started rummaging. Where did Quan keep his stuff? The wolf found out soon enough, especially when he did spot the bottle Quan kept it in - fuck, who on gods earth needed an entire bottle full of oil? And how the fuck did he not constantly spill it on his bed? Yujin sighed, he didn’t care and he did undo the cork on the bottle, dragged it back to Richard with him and then, because it couldn’t be helped, just spilled some of it on his own hand and the blonde, before he put the bottle on the floor, next to the bed and, pretty unceremoniously once more, shoved one, then two fingers in, moved them ever so slightly, as if he wanted to tease, just a bit. “Mh, anything else you want?”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard didn't want this night to end, but he also didn't feel like he deserved. Before Yujin seriously had been angry at him, he kind of didn't realize what an asshole he had been and he really didn't want to be, but for some reason it couldn't be helped. Maybe he could try though, maybe he could try being somewhat of a boyfriend to Yujin, though he still wanted him to stay with Yin. An affair then, one without yelling, without being mad... couldn't he do that? But what about the time when he would leave then? It was hard to leave Yujin behind already, how would it be if they became even closer? Did Richard deserve to get another chance? Did he even deserve this last night? Maybe he was meant to be alone, why else would all of that had happened to him, or maybe he just brought death and destruction and Yujin would meet an early end if he stayed close to him. Turning around had another upside, he wasn't just able to hide his eyes, but his whole face, but for such thoughts was no time right now.

      He heard Yujin swallow and his voice sounded different. Was he tired? Didn't he want to do any more? Richard wasn't sure, just felt like an idiot because he lay before him like that and the wolf didn't even want that. The prince even sighed, but apparently Richard was wrong, because he heard one of Yujins chuckles and then got a pillow stuffed under him. Richard used one hand to pull the fabric of his face and he turned his head, so he could look at Yujin. Well he didn't see much, but some and he mustered a faint smile. "You can...", he answered as if pleasing Yujin tonight was the most important thing, then he yelped, his cheeks turned red and he denied Yujin another glance on his face and rather hid it in the mattress. "Idiot...", he mumbled into the fabric underneath him. While the blonde was hiding, because he just got slapped on his ass, he heard Yujin move and rumble. He looked out of hiding for a bit to see Yujin search for something, but he waited patiently and eventually Yujin resumed his original position behind the blonde. Suddenly he felt some cold liquid on him and flinched for a second, his hip probably twitched and then he yelped once more. There had been no warning, nothing and he wondered what that meant and why- "Gah!" Yujin was going fast, but as fast as he shoved his fingers in as slow he went now, with only slight movements that already made Richards breath ragged. He reached out for another pillow and pulled it closer to bury his face in it. It smelled like smoke and alcohol and... well pretty much Quan. "Y-your... mh... coat...", he answered and asked for something that smelled like Yujin and not some idiot brown haired wolf. All the while Yujin kept going and Richards cheeks turned red. Soft, almost silent moans left his lips and were forced into the pillow and his hips twitched by the slightest of touches, searching for more. He couldn't stop that, even though it was embarrassing.

    • Not being sober had its perks, but Yujin didn’t feel drunk either - actually, he felt sad, washed up, all kinds of things, jumbled together and intertwined, but he didn’t want to tell Richard that this shouldn’t be goodbye, that it was a stupid idea to end their relationship - whatever it was or meant to them by now - just because he feared that the blonde knew anyway, that goodbye was the furthest thing that he wanted to say, but it was for the best, too. “Doesn’t look like it”, he chuckled when Richard hid his face once more, after hearing that the wolf had just deliberately used the opportunity to do what got the blonde mad twice by now, but ... he seemed to be embarrassed by it, didn’t he? The world didn’t just revolve around the two of them, Yujin knew as much, but that also meant that they had to figure it out for themselves, had to figure out what they meant to one another and ... why on earth wasn’t he teasing the blonde a bit more? Some slow moving fingers, that barely pushed back in and out, did cause some nice reactions, but they probably wouldn’t feel good over a prolonged period of time, so why not move on? Richard did give him a good reason to, though.

      “My coat?”, Yujin uttered, slightly confused - why would Richard want ... nevermind, he could get him that, right? “That means I’ll have to let go, you know”, the wolf informed the blonde, but instead of waiting for an answer, he did remove those pesky fingers from Richard and left him alone for a second, even if he didn’t really want to get on his legs, he did and walked over where the two of them had left piles of their clothing, had shed it on the floor and Yujin, being the idiot he was, grabbed some of his clothes, with that not oil-coated hand of his, brought it all back to the bed and stuffed whatever bundle of clothes he’d procured next to Richards face, gave him a grin and then, as if nothing had happened, went back between the blondes legs, spread them apart a bit more and then, well, where had they been, oh, right. Without much of a warning, he shoved his fingers back inside without a warning, moved them ever so slightly, as if more could hurt, could break Richard and while he was doing it, he leaned over to kiss that pale, smooth skin on Richards back, slightly biting it every so often, just to be sure this wasn’t a dream. When he stopped and peered up, he chuckled. “Anything else?” What else could Richard possibly want?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Why was Richard behaving like this when he was around the wolf? His mind was occupied with thoughts about him, even in other moments, when he was just annoying and even when the blonde did think about what happened to him, it was fine, as long as he was able to hold Yujins hand. He didn't feel scared around him, he didn't feel like the weight of the world got too much and was about to crush him and he didn't mind being frail. He showed him his scar, showed him that ugly thing that proved that he couldn't protect himself and he continuously showed him, that he wasn't always having the upper hand. He didn't have to around the prince and it was different with others, for example Quan. Richard had no problem with blowing Yujin, none at all, but when it came to the brown haired wolf, even though Richard already had been drunk and high, he just didn't like the thought of being submissive. He didn't like to be the one being pressed down, or forced on his knees, but with Yujin he didn't mind at all and it was a nice break. He lay here, offered himself up the second time today and he had no problem with it whatsoever. He felt embarrassed, but good and little moans still left his lips while Yujin cared about him and slowly moved his fingers.

      "Mhm...", Richard mumbled into the pillow and let out another slight moan when Yujins touch was missing all of a sudden. It was awful to lie here and wait, to be alone and not to feel any touch of the wolf anymore, but he didn't move, he waited patiently, even though his hips slightly moved and he softly pressed himself against the pillow as if that would help. It felt like forever that he was alone and when he finally heard Yujin coming closer again, he got some clothes stuffed next to him. Richard grabbed them and pulled them closer. He stuffed it between the smelly pillow and his face. Yujins clothes smelled like the smoke in the den as well, very much actually, but underneath all that there was this faint smell of snow and the soft touch of sandalwood. Richard took that smell in and stuffed the clothes together to a little pillow which he held tight. He moaned again when Yujin used his fingers once more, his back bent a little bit further when he reared under the sudden touch and his cheeks probably were glowing by now. Then there were Yujins lips and his teeth and all of this felt so good. It also felt exactly right after the first time he came wasn't too long ago. He actually didn't think Yujin would be this soft and caring when h turned around to offer himself up, but it was nice. "Y-you...", he answered mumbling, there was nothing else he wanted, Yujin was the only one that managed to make him feel good in a night that actually should have been full of pain. "I want you to... ah... do... what feels good... to you..." And aside from that... he wanted to stay his... whatever he'd be. He didn't mid if they were friends, fuckbuddies, or if he was just Yujins toy, but he knew if anything it was the other way around. And nights like this didn't make it right...