bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

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    • Friends with benefits, huh? That was one thing, the other, very much, was that they both couldn't get enough of one another and that, by default, meant that they were not only busy with one another, but also with themselves. Busy with the things that they were feeling, the only things they could come up with and that meant, without a doubt, that neither of them was actually going to figure things out like this - they both were trying, maybe a little bit too hard and that, on the other hand, meant that he'd have to compensate for that somehow. Yet, it didn't matter, he liked listening to broken sentences, not really understanding what it was that Arikin truly wanted but he didn't even care - Yu had stopped caring a while ago, he barely had an idea what he even was supposed to do about that to begin with - frankly, he was not only trying to compensate for his own stupidity, but he also was forcing them both over the edge eventually. This had been his intention from the getgo, but the fact that he felt a wave of warmth wash over him and the fact that Arikin had done so first didn't help his cause - he'd wanted to pull out eventually, but he didn't, Yu didn't even care about that anymore - what could even happen? Nobody was going to ... too many thoughts.

      What he felt made him ecstatic, his breathing was even more erratic than it already had been and the only thing he considered to be his saving grace was the ungodly feeling that ended all of this, the fact that being with the blonde could make him feel like this, let wave after wave of pleasure crash over them, it was almost disgusting to think about and yet, why did he even try to? This was good, great actually and ... he really needed to catch his breath. For a while, just after making sure they both were satisfied, he remained where he was, caught his own breath and once he did, he pulled out - they both were drenched in sweat, among other bodily fluids and they could use some cleaning, but ... eugh, there was alcohol out there and food that, by now, had probably gone cold and just like that, Yu's head was filled with thoughts once more, thoughts he had refused to have and yet, they will were there. He shook his head, looked at Arikin and grabbed a blanket, to at least wipe them both off, just a bit. "I am?", he suddenly asked, retaining very little of the heated conversation they'd had back there - and that was fine, if he remembered everything, it would not only be annoying, it also would serve as a reassurance that not everything was going to stay the way it should be. "I'm beat ... and you were great", the wolf reassured his fellow companion, who's hand he was still holding, then bringing it up to his lips to kiss it. What remained now wasn't important, but as long as Arikins leg was still prodded on his shoulder, he took the opportunity to tease him a bit, to bite and suck the inner side of his upper thigh - he might as well leave him a present, shouldn't he? Soon thereafter, however, he finally let go of the leg and pulled the hand he was holding, letting himself fall next to the blonde. "So ... are you still hungry?", Yu wanted to know, but instead of waiting for another word, he stole a kiss - he could fall asleep like this, no questions asked. A smile was all he could offer though and actually, he was using that free hand of his to wipe the sweat stained hair out of Arikins face - he wanted to lose himself in those eyes, just a little more.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Arikin was pretty sure that he wouldn't forget this ever, even though he was pretty out of it. No amount of alcohol or other substances was going to eradicate that night from his mind, it was just impossible, because he'd never felt that amount of intense feelings ever before. He wasn't sure if it was the drugs or the fact that Yu was just way too good at this, but he already wanted this to happen again, the only problem was his sober self who'd never admit to that. Either way, now that thoughts were hard to grasp and only swirling around in an uncontrolled and chaotic matter, none of this was of any importance. Instead he still lavished in those feelings and eventually felt even more ecstatic when he felt warm liquid filling him up. eventually Yu stopped moving, was satisfied with what had happened. They both needed to catch their breath, Arikin was from top to bottom a complete mess, but right now he didn't even care about that, not at all, actually nothing bothered him, nothing in this world was able to prematurely pull him out of this feeling of pure satisfaction. His chest went up and down in an almost unrhythmical manner, his head was a little bit bent backwards and his mouth wide open to suck in air that he desperately needed.

      He looked at Yu, still holding his leg, still remaining in that position and catching his breath as well, his hair was all over the place and he looked somewhat exhausted. Well he did most of the work. Thoughts were slowly let back into his brain, but nothing important, nothing disturbing, only good thoughts about Yu and how good that was. There were also some that wondered what the hell actually happened and why it felt like he either came more than once, or he had been stuck in a loop of pleasure for an extensive time. Was it always like this when sleeping with a man? Probably not, he credited Yu and Yu alone for this. One last muffled and almost silent moan left Arikins lips when Yu pulled out and Arikin felt warm liquid drip out with it, which sent a short shiver through his body which felt almost numb right now. He let Yu do what he pleased, felt the blanket on his stomach and the inside of his upper thighs. "I... forgot...", Arikin answered mumbling and let out a pleased sigh. He watched Yu kiss his hand as if they were lovers already and he didn't mind that thought actually, but shook his head. "You did... most of the work and it was... unbelievably good.", he returned the compliment, but refrained from getting too cheesy, he didn't want to tell him that this probably was the best fuck he'd ever had in his life. Another shiver ran through Arikins body when Yu seemingly didn't have quite enough just yet and started to kiss his inner thigh to probably leave one final mark there. When he was done he finally gave into some rest too and let himself fall next to Arikin who looked at him only to be kissed. And there he thought he'd just be thrown away like a used tissue once Yu was satisfied. "Not sure... you...?", he answered and he actually didn't know if he was able to eat anything right now, even though he almost hadn't eaten the whole day. Arikin softly caressed the hand he was still holding with his thumb and smiled. He didn't want this night to end, it almost felt like goodbye, but he didn't want to be dragged down by such thoughts. Instead he looked at those blue eyes that had been comforting before. However, he was tired and his eyelids grew heavy, it was hard focusing on Yu and everytime Arikin closed his eyes to blink, he needed to force them back open again. "You were... too good...", he mumbled once more. Now every other night would feel like shit compared to this.

    • Laying there was something Yu could do with relative ease, after all, like this, this world was nothing - they were still supposed to conquer themselves, the world around them, remind one another of the ideals they didn't have and then tell one another that nothing was lovable if they just kept thinking about it one way, not the other. At some point, all of this would be worth nothing more than a slight glance to the side, a distant memory that neither of them could identify as their own anymore, but ... that was fine, right? Yu had no need for sappy feelings, no need to be reminded of the rendezvous he had with the blonde - when this night ended, Arikin would go back to being Richard and Yu would be Yujin again, one of them a fallen prince out for revenge, for his throne and the other a prisoner in his own country, busy with living that life of his that was ... what even? What was Yujin? Again, instead of reveling in all those feelings, Yu allowed himself to think and he was tired of it - alcohol dragged out the worst in him, reminded him that whatever he did, he wasn't going to love it most of the time and the simple assumption that loving life was just something one had to be able to, well, it was nothing more than that. "No worries", he reassured Arikin, a faint smile plastered on his lips - gods, he was tired.

      Yu hadn't been out of it in a while, but right now he was, exhausted and satisified, weird thoughts swirling in his head and then again, he felt as if he'd cut his own leg off if he admitted to something that wasn't supposed to be. Arikin, no Richard, had made it clear that he wasn't looking to love someone, or to even like someone and those words had turned into this - into feeling as if they'd both been starstruck, as if no words in this world could elaborate how either of them felt. "I'm glad", the wolf whispered. So he was unbelievably good, even in a state like this, huh? However, their kissing technique could use some less saliva and teeth, didn't it? But they both were out of it, they might as well just ... not think about that, right? "You are ... enough to satisfy ... me." For now that was, nothing else needed, except Arikin, who hadn't shyed away, who was still himself and who made his fellow wolf wonder about where all of this was going, where the world was taking them and what would happen if tomorrow came. "If ... I wasn't exhausted ... I'd offer you ... a second ... round ..." Yu could, but they'd both keel over, there was no ounce of stamina left in his body that still was riding on some high, that made him feel as if the world revolved around the two of them, despite not being on center stage. Was that feeling odd? Who knew. "One ... more thing", he suddenly added and tried to regain his composure, pressing his forehead against Arikins and closing the remaining distance between that, especially when his own body inched closer, too and he wrapped his remaining hand aroudn the blonde. "Don't ... let this be ... a one time ... thing."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Arikin, or Richard wasn't sure if it had been a good idea to call himself some random wolf for today, to split his personality in two like he did, because in the end he already didn't know who he was or where he fit in. If he separated the wolf from the sheep he still was left with a sheep that didn't fit in here, because it was different and strange and a wolf that acted less than one, less than the sheep did. So what was he and what wanted he to be, where did he belong? Maybe the adrenalin and the rush managed to wash away the alcohol in his system and now he started thinking again, although he didn't want to. When he looked at Yu... Yujin, wasn't he the same right now? Arikin was kind of scared of what happened tomorrow morning, how'd he react when he was back to being Richard again and their little drunk fantasy ended. Richard couldn't allow himself fun and games, a life, when his brother was dead and unable to continue his own life. That was what he felt and what made him push Yujin away time and time again, although he clearly wanted to be with him, at least as a friend. Why else did he ask him to stay with him in the hut and why else did he search for his presence at night. Why else would he have agreed to come with him and meet his friends? Sure, Yujin was a pain and no wasn't something that made him stop right away, but Richard was old and strong enough to just leave whenever he wanted and to go wherever he liked, at least in the boundaries of their own little prison called Silesse. Arikin wanted to tell Yu more of that, of who he was deep inside, but he couldn't, for some reason fate wanted him to find out himself as it seemed.

      It was silent now, their breathes had calmed down, their bodies lay still. There were only the flickering candles and their soft and tired breathing, nothing more. It was nice like this, almost romantic and darkness was something Arikin embraced right now. He saw just enough, Yus face, his lips moving that told Arikin that for some reason, this had been satisfying for him too. Arikin couldn't contain a short chuckle. "I'm... exhausted too...", he explained and therefor also agreed that a second round would be nice, but probably too much for both of their bodies. Arikin kept looking at Yu and the noise of something moving on the sheets was the only thing breaking the silence right now. His forehead met Yus and Arikin closed his eyes. He met Yu halfway, inched closer to him too and met his skin. His arm found its way around the wolf as well and his hand rested on the back of his head. This did feel like goodbye, right? As if Arikin would die the next day and be swallowed by Richard who put him back behind bars where he belonged. No matter how much he craved love or even some simple touches, he wouldn't be let out again so easily, would he now? Damn his thoughts were so clear and yet he didn't revert back to his usual self, because he knew he wanted this. Arikin... no Richard wanted Yujin to save him somehow, to not give up, maybe this was his way of showing that. But they both had to figure things out. Richard needed to figure himself out and how he'd combine his race for death and the possibility of someone who actually meant something to him again and Yujin needed to figure out what he wanted and if Richard was even worth the effort as a friend. As if Richard was holding him back, he couldn't answer anything, he couldn't say that he didn't want this night to end, that he wanted to do this again and that he agreed, that this should happen again. He couldn't say anything, so instead he leaned forward a little bit and gave Yu another short and soft kiss, that was all.

    • This had been fine, it actually had been nice and that meant - no, wait. This wasn't just nice, it had been ecstatic and Yu wouldn't want to trade this experience for anything in this world - he didn't want to forget, go back to before all of this had happened, no. He wanted to keep moving on, wanted to keep seeing things and more importantly, he wanted this to make sense, but not only to him, but also to Arikin, to Richard in the long run, to be together with him for as long as they could be. One of them would run, break free of his shackles, leave Silesse behind and Yu didn't want to be the one that had nothing but this night to go of, he didn't want to be the one that got left behind and spend the remainder of his life yearning for someone that he couldn't have - but why was he feeling these things for someone like the blonde, all of a sudden? Yu could have sworn that he tried his earnest, that the world was constantly moving around him, that he was changing his opinions everytime that he found something new, something interesting, but whatever that was, it didn't matter. "Let's ... sleep then, alright?", he implored Arikin, someone he'd like to call his lover but couldn't really. They were miles away from one another, stuck in roles they didn't want to have superimposed onto them, but there was nothing they could do about that, was there now? "Thank you", the wolf blabbered, grabbing a blanket to pull over them - their bodies weren't going to stay warm like that all night.

      Yujin had fallen asleep pretty soon thereafter, his body and his mind had just given out, despite him not wanting any of that to end. But it had, that much was clear and he very much hated every second of it, of the fact that their night ended like that and the feeling that nothing was going to be the same once they woke up. The wolf wasn't wrong, it as late - he didn't know how late - but there it was, the dark orange sun forcing its way into their room and while that meant nothing in Silesse, while days were short, cold and disgusting, he still had someone in his arms, someone that wasn't his girlfriend - and he had a pounding headache, too. Suddenly, he regretted something, he wasn't sure what yet, but he didn't dare move much, he knew that Richard wouldn't be in the best mood, either and now that he thought about it, they both were naked, wrapped into a single blanket, their clothing strewn about in the rest of the room and the alcohol and food he had ordered were abandoned outside of his room. All of it seemed crystal clear for a second, but soon enough, the wolf abandoned the thought, letting himself rest for a while and watched the resting face of a man that usually was quick to bark like a dog over the smallest of inconveniences - his own mind was hazy, but he'd slept a lot of it off, didn't want to disturb the sleeping right then and ther, but eventually, there was a knock at his door, a loud one at that, and someone calling for him to get up. "I'll be in a second", he responded, groggily - and yet he couldn't, why were they still hugging one another? "Richard, it's time to ... get up."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • There was nothing left to do and nothing left to say. This night was about to end an the question that remained was who'd remember what after this. They both were very drunk, so maybe in their heads all of this would vanish or be locked away and even if Richard remembered, he probably would want it to not have happened and thus would act accordingly. This was goodbye, somehow, but maybe they both were able to figure this out, to admit to the underlying feeling that had led to this. Something like that didn't just happen because two people were drunk, they wouldn't say and thing as they did, but they first needed to see just that. Arikin almost hated himself for not saying anything more, he just nodded, because they both were exhausted and couldn't drag o with the night. He felt the blanket be pulled over him and remained in Yus arms, holding him tight and close, nuzzling up to him. He still held his hand, wanted to feel his warmth and know that he still was here, even if they fell asleep now. There was no need t thank him though, for what? Yujin had be the one dragging Richard with him to gift him one night of fun, one night of peace.

      Richard fell asleep just as fast and he slept good. There were no nightmares, none at all. He wasn't restless, wasn't waking up because he needed to flee back into reality, he just slept for a long time. He only woke up when he heard a voice basically yell into his ear, the softer voice afterwards didn't make it better. He opened his eyes to a way to bright room, his head felt like it was going to explode and he felt something warm actually almost wrapping him in from head to toe. As he came to and felt that this warm thing was actually a person, that he was hugging someone, he head the urge to jump out of bed, but instead he just let go and sat up, holding his head. "Ugh... what...?", he asked still sleepy and pretty much hung over, then took a peek underneath the blanket only to... why the fuck was he naked? The memories of last night flooded back in the more time passed and it explained why his fucking ass kind of hurt. His next look was at the window where the sun shone in and he suddenly jumped up. "Shit! I have to get home.", he mumbled, only noticing now that Nayantai had absolutely no fucking clue where Richard was and that he last had seen him yesterday morning. He probably was... well Richard didn't know what would happen, but he sure wasn't happy about any of this and whatever was up with Yujin he'd had to figure out later. Richard found his clothes spread all over the floor and quickly picked them up to get dressed, he didn't even have time to yell at Yujn for... well for what? This situation was the worst situation possible, wasn't it and for now Richard rather didn't talk about it.

    • Down the drain it went, didn't it? The moment he stirred Richard up was the moment their shared time ended and suddenly, he seemed to be in a hurry and less inclined to spend time with the wolf, to stay and cuddle his headache out, but Yujin was fine with that - he'd expected it when they had fallen asleep yesterday, he'd guessed that the bond they'd formed overnight wouldn't move on with them, not that far, not to where they were right now and so he only could listen and feel Richard remove himself, watch as he scrambled up, as he was talking about going home - and Yujin, the one that should be getting up, took his time, looked at the blonde who was trying to collect all those clothes of his that reeked of smoke, of yesterday nights bad decisions - but were they really bad? Eventually, he got out too, cast the blanket aside, tossed most of them out of the bed anyway - they needed a good wash. But there was Richard, fumbling with his clothes and Yujin couldn't help but chuckle at him while he collected his own and threw them to the blankets. Wow, everything smelled of smoke, of oil, of sweat - they really had some fun last night, didn't they? "Your clothes reek", he commented, stated a fact more than anything, only to walk over to his own dresser, open it up and pick out his own clothes. Forcing something onto Richard usually worked, but right now ...

      Yujins head was buzzing, there were a tad too many thoughts that made no sense, there was nothing but yesterday night that filled his head and somehow, the wolf, that found that his hair was pretty good at hiding him, his body - and that it was getting in his way. Slowly but surely, he at least dressed in his underwear, before he walked over to the blonde, stopped him in his tracks and put some clothing in his hands - they had wanted to change yesterday and for one reason or the other, meeting those brown marbles made his breathing stop for a second, made him feel embarrassed, then avert his own gaze and waltz back to the drawer. "Wear them, they are the closest thing I have to adrestian clothing and you won't be giving away where you've been ... but we both could use a bath", the wolf sighed, then got dressed, put on less layers than usual - he really needed a bath and he didn't want his remaining clothes to reek, or at least not all of them. However, he also put his hair up in a ponytail, it was getting in the way and he wasn't really inclined to braid it right now, he didn't even feel like it - it would just get in the way anyway and that was going to be more than annoying. "Now then, are you done?", Yujin asked, but he seemingly did so too soon - was the blonde still struggling with ... "Do you need a hand?" Was that the wrong thing to ask Richard? Definitely. "You also should eat something."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • His clothes really lay about everywhere and he even struggled to get into his underwear, probably because he hurried too much and because his head was feeling like it was going to explode. Remaining balance wasn't an easy task, but somehow he made it into his underwear and then put his shirt around his shoulders to start fumbling with the buttons. He had no time to think about last night, he wanted to cast those thoughts away but everytime he moved and his body hurt a little bit, he thought about how he lay there in this bed, legs spread and... He only shot Yujin a short glance before he turned his back to him, he couldn't have this right now, what was he even thinking and why was Yujin not getting out of his head? Some of what had happened was still a blur, he didn't know what they talked about, or if they even talked about everything, he just knew that for some reason he had been alright with Yujin fucking him senseless and he pretty much did. Damn this was... he had a girlfriend for fucks sake! He wasn't sure if Yujin even remembered much, well that they slept with eachother was pretty apparent, but that hadn't been all... damn he just needed to get home quick! "I know that...", Richard grumbled, yes his clothes smelled of smoke and alcohol and maybe even sweat, he actually didn't know where his shirt had landed while he was kissing... argh!

      Richard turned around when he heard footsteps, only to be looked at by Yujin. Looking at him made things worse and he quickly pulled his gaze away from his blue eyes and onto the things he gave him. "I... that's...", he stuttered but wasn't sure what he wanted to say. His hair and body reeked to, so what was the point in hiding behind clothes that obviously weren't his. Besides, he didn't even know how to put that on. Sure he could just wrap it around himself, but that would just look stupid. "I have no time for a bath. Nayantai will kill me for not coming home last night...", he grumbled and at least unfolded the clothes he was given to look at them. He looked at them for quite some while, couldn't decide what to do and all in all he didn't look forward to his way back home. What if someone saw him leave the caslte and all the looks he'd get from running around town looking like he had been fucked all night, which he was. Why was he thinking about that again? "I... uh... no!", he answered and put Yujins clothes away to continue buttoning up his shirt. "I don't need those.", he grumbled and shook his head again. "I can eat at home. I need to get back. Is there... some kind of back entrance I can use? I don't want to barge out through the front door."

    • This wasn't exactly how he imagined the day after the fact - but to be fair, Yujin was probably expecting too much despite being told that it, most likely, wouldn't be transpiring to begin with. Arikin had been right, the moment he woke up he was back to being Richard, back to wanting away from the wolf and all things thrian, but ... somehow, he seemed to be ... less bark, less bite, less angry, wasn't it that? All that made the wolf smile, just for a bit though - he didn't want to wake someone that was slumbering of the bottom of ones mind, someone that yet had to fully wake up and realize the situation he found himself in. Yujin was, by far, not only enjoying all of it, basking in the flory of having defeated Richard somehow, at his own game at that, but that also meant that there was no reason to be mad at him, just for getting laid and having a good night, right? Not that it was going to make things easier, though. "Well, we still both need a good wash", he sighed, having fully dressed by now and just tying up his own boots - would he be going places today? Probably not, yesterday had worn him out for good and he needed some time to rest, maybe he'd sift through the library.

      Yujin shrugged with his shoulders, heard the explanation he was given and that was good enough for him. "I don't want your dad to kill you, so I might let you off the hook this once", he chuckled, then shaking his head. This was silly, he did - in fact - have a girlfriend and they still were stuck in a priso-, err, castle of ice that was probably not the best way for someone to spend their day in, especially not Richard. "Back entrance? Plenty, I can show you if you want - and sucks about the clothes." There wasn't much more to that, instead he went to the door and stuck his head out, all the while Richard was still dressing himself or something, whatever that'd be. At first, he noticed that the food and alcohol that supposedly were there had been removed, then that whoever had knocked on his door was not there anymore and that ... "Oh, look who's up!" Fuck. Not this, not right now. "What do you want?" The young girl, well, she wasn't that much younger than him, looked at him somewhat annoyed, then came a step closer. "Look, if you decide to fuck someone, fine by me, but keep it down." "What are you eve-" "I heard EVERYTHING." Right, this was getting embarrassing and at this pace, she'd see Richard and ... "Ruozhe, please, just ... what do you want?" "Oh, now we're talking!" Still, she was going to get nosy, tried to stick her head in through the doorframe and then, when Yujin couldn't actually shield her from it and she got a glimpse, she stopped in her tracks and looked him dead in the eyes. "THAT'S NOT EVEN YOUR GIR-" "SHUT UP!" His sister looked at him, eyes wide, grin even wider and he wondered where the fuck he'd went wrong and why the fuck the gods hated him so fucking much. "I'll tell her! I'll tell Yin!", she yelled, almost overjoyed, before she ran off. "GET BACK HERE YOU BRAT", was all the wolf could yell after her, but he gave up eventually, sighed, then looked back at Richard. "Can we get going before I bash my sisters face in?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard really didn't want to stay any longer, partly because Nayantai was probably worried sick and would never ever leave him out of sight again and also because the longer he stayed here the more people could see him and he didn't want that, not at all. This night had been a mistake, Yujin had a girlfriend and Richard nothing to give to anyone and especially no hope to the wolf that there was more about any of this. He shouldn't have gotten drunk and he shouldn't have followed Yujin home. When he kissed him he should have just told him off and go home on his own, then he wouldn't be in this mess right now. "I don't have time and I don't want to stay here longer than necessary.", Richard answered and eventually managed to close up the last button on his shirt. Only now he checked if his neckerchief still fit and he fumbled around it to make it stay in place and hopefully hide his scars and also whatever Yujin had produced there. Next up was his pants. Well Thrian clothes would have been easier, they weren't so fucking tight... fuck wasn't that something Yujin said yesterday in a completely different context? Richard even stopped in his tracks, then shook those thoughts off, fuck, why?

      Richard didn't comment any more, he was going to leave no matter if Yujin 'let him' or not. Sure he reeked, but he'd just take the backdoor, some side alleys and then he'd be on his way home to the hut with no one crossing his path. Then he'd explain Nayantai something, he didn't yet know what and then he'd take a bath at home. Richard was just about to close up his pants when he heard a voice and hurried even more. Who was that now? Yujins sister? Richard took a step back and turned his back to the door all the while fighting with his boots and almost trip over his own feet. Whoever that was, he didn't exactly want to be seen because it was pretty obvious who he was looking at his hair alone. Oh what would he have given for being just a random wolf. Actually, Richard didn't even want to know what this girl heard, this was getting more embarrassing, wasn't it? Eventually this girl saw him and that meant there already was at least one person who knew... great! The girl with the weird ass name vanished and Richard had managed to get fully dressed and joined Yujin at the door. "Don't worry, if anyone asks, nothing happened.", Richard grumbled somewhat tired, he even let out a sigh. He'd deny this ever happened in front of everyone and if Yujins girlfriend asked about it, he'd just come up with something. Hopefully this girl remained the only person seeing Richard here.

    • Neither of of the two of them was having a good day, that much was for sure. Yujin had his sister bark at him, had some unknown voice to follow, a bath to take, food to eat and a headache to get rid off - he currently hated being sober, he really did and there was no denying it. What would he give to have yesterday night go on forever, what would he give for being out there, somewhere, with Richard and see the world, show him some of the stars, be silly about it all and then just enjoy some liquor with him? This was, by far, the most romantic thing he could think about, but there was nothing else to it, Yujin also knew that much - they were both not meant for one another, despite fitting together that well, and ... hell, now he wished that he was still fucking Richard, for one reason or another. They really did fit well together, didn't they? Still, seeing Ruozhe that early in the morning made him wish that instead of her, he'd have been greated by Xu's familiar face, by those tired, droopy eyes and the worn smile, the faint smell of some pine needles and unanswerable questions, questions about where his older brother had went, where his waking mind had dragged his sleeping body and ... wasn't his family odd? But there were other things to worry about and their names were Richard and Yinyue, one of which was present, the other arriving sometime later ... eugh.

      "Sure, nothing happened", the wolf agreed, sighed however, because something had happened - Richard was trying to hide the fact, wasn't he? Hell, he could have told him what Arikin had said the day before, but somehow that escaped him and Yujin himself didn't even know what those words were about anymore - they were about Richard, hadn't they been? But he'd been too busy with ... this was getting annoying. "Hey", he suddenly called out, making sure that the poor dude that had gotten railed last night wasn't falling flat on his ass. "Can you even walk?", Yujin suddenly wanted to know, as if he was genuinely concerned - Richard had the option to fuck him, but he hadn't taken it, so that was something that he'd have to deal with himself, without a nosy wolf trying to figure it out for him. Surely, this wouldn't make a dent, or something akin to that - actually, this wasn't going to hurt him one bit. That was about it though, he waited for Richard to actually follow him - to get going and to avoid anyone that could get in their way, taking some of the lesser used corridors and ending up at a small door that led outside, back into the white nothingness that lay beyond icy walls and all that Yujin could do was open it up, wait for Richard to walk out and as he did that, either his brain decided on something or his body did, because he sure as hell used his hand to hit the blondes ass lightly. "Okay, sorry. Uh, have a nice day, bye? It'd be nice to have you come again?", he tried to force out of his throat, what the h- "Fuck, alright. Don't do anything stupid on your way home." And now, he'd only need to close the door ...
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richards head hurt like hell, his stomach was turning and his throat was dry. Sure he could have used some food, a glass of water and maybe a bath, but he wanted to get away, wanted no one to see him here, not anyone else. He probably felt like he was about to die because he hadn't eaten shit yesterday and even after they went here he still didn't. Nothing in his system had soaked up all the alcohol and now he felt really bad, he reeked and the sun was way too bright and fucking annoying. All the damn snow and ice reflected the light and made it even more bright, especially when he'd go outside eventually and had to endure that for the rest of his way home. For now he brushed past Yujin and even hit him with his shoulder intentionally, only to stop right away because he had no clue where he was supposed to go. "I can walk just fine. Are you coming?", he hissed and rubbed his forehead, ugh he just wanted to lie down and sleep off that hangover. Also he wanted to get all those mixed up memories out of his head but everytime he looked at Yujin or he walked past him and caught some of his distinct smell, he felt his stomach pull together.

      Richard followed Yujin through some corridors and was glad they didn't meet anybody else. Eventually they ended up by a small door leading outside. As soon as Yujin opened it Richard felt like the sun was drilling a hole into his head and he blinked a while to get used to the light. That stupid fucking snow made looking down at his feet not even an option and generally he was in a pretty shitty mood. Eventually, when he felt like he wouldn't throw up if he took a step outside he got going, only to feel a hand on his butt. All his hair stood on end immediately and his stomach started tingling for whatever weird reason and before he even knew what he was doing, he shoved Yujin against he ice wall of his castle, holding him with his lower arm right by his neck and pinning him there. He looked like a dog who was about to eat his fucking face of, but in the end he hadn't even thought about what he'd do next. "Don't ever do that again!", he growled and upped the pressure a little bit, but eventually let go of Yujin again, though his face could have used some rearranging. Yujin might have fucked him - don't think too hard about it - but that didn't make Richard his fucking slut. Yujin also still had a girlfriend for fucks sake. Richard didn't even know what to say anymore so instead he turned around with a big sigh, put his hands in his pockets and started walking.

    • Actually, he'd have to expected that, right? Richard was a sleeping but rabid dog and he just woke him, had forced him out of his well-deserved slumber and now he got what he deserved - which, thankfully, wasn't another broken nose, but the cold ice against his back and the arm in his throat felt somewhat exhilerating, didn't it? Surely, he'd figure something out, whatever it'd be for himself and for Richard or not, but he was happy once he was let go off. "Okay, fine - have a nice day!", he yelled after the blonde after he finally removed himself. "And take care!" That was all he could send his fellow wolf on the way with and now that that was said, he stretched himself and went back inside. Finding a servant was easier said that done, but he got someone to prepare him a bath, got to catch his sister and implore her not to tell Yin, not to say a word and Yujin got what he wanted with a little bargaining, which wasn't too bad, was it now? That, in turn, meant that he could rest easy now, wash his body and spend way too long in the tub, until the water turned cold, until he couldn't look at his stupid face anymore and ... and what? He was embarrassed by what now? Whatever that may be, Yujin had other things to take care of, had to get dressed, sift through books and then, well, he still had a girlfriend, no?

      Where had he gone? Naturally, it was normal for Richard to come home late, to just stay out until he wanted, but Nayantai wondered if he was putting too much pressure on his son, if he was expecting too much - what if something had happened to him? How would he explain that to himself and worse, how would he explain that to Rain once he, himself, bit the grass? All of this was haunting him and even walking around, calling out for his son hadn't made sense, hadn't helped him anyhow, no, there were tracks in the snow, but all of them led somewhere and finding Richard after being awake the entire night felt like it was ... what, exactly? Nayantai had sat there, had went out sporadically, deprived himself of sleep, drank enough tea for a week to calm him down and nothing helped, his heart raced, his mind was torturing him and everytime he went outside, the bright snow hurt his eyes more and more, his own body was hating him for it, but he'd had worse - he'd been awake for days on end and then fallen asleep, only to still wake up and feel miserable, this was nothing, but still, what could have happened to- There it was, some sort of clattering at the door, the wooden door creaking open and a familiar figure peeking in. Nayantai sighed, finally ridding himself of all the tense feelings in his body and, and ... huh? "Where were you?", he asked, tired and worn out, glancing at his son from where he sat before getting up. Actually, he was ready to kill him, came closer and once he himself smelled what Richard reeked off, he had some sort of explanation - well ... "Why would yo- oh", his old man suddenly realised, looking at those dark blue splotches that stuck out of the neckerchief, still. "I guess you at least had fun ...", he sighed.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Yujin was a pain in the ass, he'd always be, but Richard had a huge headache and thus he rather left than bash his face in. In the end he'd just puked all over the floor here, he didn't feel so well. He ignored Yujins stupid remarks and he wouldn't get back to him, right? Right? Ugh, for whatever reason he couldn't stop thinking about last night and his mind tried to peace together all those things that happened and tried to put them in the correct order. Why the hell couldn't he stop thinking about it?! He noticed one thing though, even though he had a major hangover he did sleep well, no nightmares, none, nothing at all. He could get used to that but he needed to figure out what caused it, was it the alcohol, the opium, or more likely the sexual intercourse he had with Yujin? No that wasn't it and even if, he'd find someone else to fuck... no he didn't want anyone else... no anyone. Ugh, why was all of this so fucking annoying and why did he go with Yujin in the first place? He hoped his sister would just shut up and no one saw him crawl out of that castle and home. He avoided the town and went around through the icy plains. It took him about half an hour but he finally reached his home.

      It was stupid to think Nayantai didn't notice he didn't come home and it was stupid to thnk he could just sneak in. He still opened the door as silent as he could and slowly took a step in, only to see Nayantai sitting there almost looking worse than himself. There was the obvious question Richard didn't want to answer and he just looked at his father with a grumpy face. "I didn't mean to-", he started and watched Nayantai walk over to him. He was so agitated he talked Thrian to Richard, huh? Richard took a step back as his father waltzed over to him like that but in the end nothing happened and he closed the door and leaned against it with his back. He tried to figure out what Nayantai was seeing and eventually pulled up the fabric around his neck. "Ugh... I didn't!", Richard answered but obviously looked caught. Well Nayantai knew nothing, only maybe what he had done, but not with whom and where and how incredibly wasted he got. "Anything else?", he asked and once more massaged his forehead. "If not I'd like to take a bath..." And drink a glass of water and eat something, well he'd manage alone.

    • The old wolf sighed, not because he disappointed, but rather for once, relieved. Richard was still in one piece, nothing had happened and that also meant that everything would go back to the usual, nothing was going to be out of the ordinary from here on out - there was no need to, they both knew that, they both had realized that, actually. Now, however, there was one more pressing question that he couldn't exactly answer himself - with whom ha- no, nevermind. Not only was that none of his business, it almost seemed obvious who it was and Nayantai really wasn't going to get into the dephts of that, he wasn't going to ask his son for an answer, an explanation or anything like that - he had no need to, really. "It's fine, you're excused", the old man said, and patted his son on the shoulder. Wow, he really was getting old, wasn't he? That also meant that maybe, just maybe, Richard had been right when he had told him that he was really not going to live forever and while Nayantai was quick to doubt those things, he could stop trying to deny that - in the end, all of them marched closer to the one thing in life that was certain and in this case, it might as well be death. "You didn't even have fun?", he snorted, went back to his tea, poured a new cup and eventually got up to hand it to Richard.

      "There's food on the stove, eat something and drink a bit, I'll prepare you a bath." As a father, it would be his duty to chastise his son, to tell him to not dabble in alcohol and other drugs, but right about now, that would only lead to something stupid like another argument - something Nayantai wasn't going to have, not today, not when he himself was worn out, getting the bucket and then - as swiftly as ever - pulled his son away from the door to get outside and get some snow to heat up, to actually prepare a usable bath. That, however, also meant that the day itself was almost over and when the wolf came back in with the snow, he was taking the pot with food away from the stove, hanging a different one and pouring the snow in there, before he went for another round - this had been easier in Adrestia and right about now, Nayantai himself felt rusty, as if all those years of being some sort of diplomat were finally showing on his worn body, a body that had endured so much more than it should have, that, after all those years, still hadn't given out and it was ... odd. "Also, next time, at least ... say something. Or who you are going out with", he told his son in the end, but he didn't sound mad, not even disappointed, just worn out and tired, now that he stood there and waited for snow to become water. If it really was that bad, you could have just run, you know?, was something that Nayantai didn't say, but for once, he actually was slightly smiling - huh, that had also been a while, hadn't it?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard never had fathers that yelled at him or his siblings - never. Sure Yujin was scared of Nayantai for some reason, he was tall, the eyepatch made him look like he had a lot of experience fighting, which he did and all in all his face showed that that was what he did the majority of his youth, but he actually was almost as kind hearted as his husband had been. Richard didn't think he'd be hurt by him, but he did think he'd be yelled at, at least a little bit, not because Nayantai was mad, but because he was worried. He knew as much, knew that he shouldn't have run off like that without telling him where he was, but it just... happened. Still the pat on his shoulder was a bit much and he escaped it as fast as he could, he also didn't say anything about him having fun, well he probably had fun, but... whatever. Richard got out of his reeking coat and his shoes which he left by the door, then he was met with a cup of tea. He looked at it somewhat puzzled, but he needed some hydration anyway if he wanted to headache to go away. So he drank from it and soon after was softly shoved to the side.

      "You don't have to... Thanks...", Richard mumbled but Nayantai was stubborn. The blonde had a headache anyway and he really didn't want to do it himself, so he let Nayantai and instead went to get some food. He'd only eaten some tried fruit, or whatever that was and not much of it. He was hungry, even though his stomach was turning. He got himself a big bowl and sat down with it. He quickly started to eat, as always he ate fast and much, all the while watching Nayantai actually doing something nice for him, although Richard had made him worry. "Sorry. I hadn't planned on staying out...", he mumbled, but didn't get into who he met. Also going out sounded almost like... a date. He didn't have a date with Yujin! "You don't need to worry about me so much... I won't wind up dead just like that.", he instead said, he didn't plan to die just yet. "And I won't be running away... we had a deal, right?" Sometimes it was hard to tell Nayantai where he was, what was he supposed to do in a situation like the one yesterday? Walk all the way home to leave a note and then walk back into town? That took like half an hour! And he didn't always know what he was going to do, especially when Yujin had an idea about something. He didn't let go of his plans that easily. Mh... he was sounding like he planned on meeting him again and it probably couldn't be helped, because he at some point would end up at his doorstep again, like a lost puppy.

    • No hard feelings - at least that was, what he'd usually say, but hell, Richard was his son and his carefree attitude had never cut it all that well. If Nayantai gave it one more thought, he wondered when that had been - Rain had made him feel things, as if the world didn't completely suck, as if he was loved, needed and not some sort of worn, used object that was there to not do much more than obey - he hadn't been carefree in a while, though. The last time he had been, well, that was in his youth, before he took the first hit to the face and all of those memories were blurry as hell. Sometimes, he envied the person he'd been before he met Rain, but over the years, he came to realize that he was nothing but a broken gear, trying to turn a clockwork that had long since stopped and with every effort he made, he made all of the other gears turn into a wrong direction, all the while he only hurt himself. Why was he thinking about all of that just now, though? Maybe because he couldn't stand the thought of Richard becoming like him, or rather because he saw himself by now, someone he never thought he'd meet again - someone he never wanted to meet again, ever. "No need for a thanks, either", the old man said as he waited, then went to the bathroom with the first pot, once the water was warm, and threw it in.

      Nayantai came back, hung it back up, got another bucket full of snow and then another, just to watch another batch melt and pay attention to what Richard was saying. "No need to apologize, really. Things happen", he admitted, shaking his head. This was nothing out of the ordinary, but in Thria, in Silesse, everything was different - he had his own burden to carry, much like Richard had some, but Nayantai ... he couldn't take that from him, could he now? He could only make it lighter by taking some of that upon himself. "You're right, it's just ... it sounds silly, but I worry a bit too much, don't I?", Nayantai asked, dumbfounded by the answer he found for himself. Really, he did worry too much, especially about someone like Richard, his own son, someone that he didn't want to do anything stupid, yet, he himself hadn't been better in his youth. "And a deal is a deal. I ought to put more faith into you, after all, I wasn't any better when I was your age." That was the truth, he really hadn't been, he'd spend his days outside, taking forever to get home, running all over the place, looking for people to have fun with, for people that he either saw once in his life or maybe twice, but others, well, they stayed there. Another batch of water was done, again, he went and poured it, then got some more snow - this was the last one, wasn't it? "Now that I've seen you, I guess I should have had more faith in you - as long as you're with Muhans son, you should be fine anyway." Yeah, he knew - and Richard was allowed to know that he knew, too.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "You're not. It's fine. I'm the only one left, I get it...", Richard answered. This was the harsh reality they lived in, Rain was dead and Nayantais other children were too, just like his father. Sure he still had his sister and his nephews, but h hadn't seen them for a long time and they were far away, much closer to Adrestia. Richard aske himself if they stopped by there on the way to Silesse, after all the wolves, their queen probably needed to know what happened to prepare in case another war erupted. Or did he not say anything so the peace was maintained for as long as possible? The wolves shouldn't throw the first stone and his sister was... well... she was even more hot headed than Nayantai was, wasn't she? Richard wouldn't even know what to do in this situation, either way, he now was here in Silesse and news traveled very slow here. Richard continued eating his first bowl, then he got up and scuffled over to the pot to get another one. Two were enough though, he felt a little better, but he also didn't want to risk puking it all out again. Instead he moved the bowl away and placed his head on the table. This headache was annoying.

      "You never talk about the time before you met dad...", Richard mumbled into the table, then turned his head to the side. He had a view on the door, which Nayantai used to get more snow. This had been easier at home, but he was glad Nayantai was helping out right now, because he didn't want to move. Yujin probably had a servant prepare his... asshole. Nayantai however grew up out here right? At least for a while? He wondered how that had been and if he had someone prepare him baths. Suddenly Richard raised his head again and looked at his father. His head was spinning for a few seconds, but he acted like it didn't, there was something more important to deal with. "I wasn't...!", he started almost yelling and grumbled right after. "He made me meet his friends.", he explained, so there was a whole number of wolves with whom he could have spent his night with, girls or guys. It was none of Nayantais business where he had slept. Again he pulled the fabric around his neck up a little bit, heavens why dd it even come to this in the first place? When was the bath ready so he could flee this conversation? Actually, he got up right now to at least get some fresh clothes from his room.

    • “I ... well, you aren’t wrong”, the wolf sighed. Richard wasn’t wrong, he’d never be - at least not in that regard. The only person Nayantai had left, aside from a sister he barely saw in years, was Richard - and yet, they didn’t even share bloodties, but who cared about minor details like that? Nayantai saw Richard as his son and he knew that sometimes, admitting to something like that was odd, especially when he really wouldn’t in public, but they still were just that - father and son, not two strangers that were dragged to Silesse during low tide, but rather in a futile attempt to escape the pain that was waiting for them in Myriad. “Now that you mention it, I really don’t”, he murmured, looking at the pot and waiting for snow to become water, for it to heat up and to somewhat end this kind of painful conversation. What was he supposed to tell his son? That everything was a blur, that the world in his dreams had no shape, no form and was only filled with horror, some of which he’d forced upon himself by killing, killing and then killing some more? All of that had been in vain and yet, the gods he didn’t believe in wouldn’t let him die - it was ridiculous, wasn’t it? Though, as a non-believer, maybe there really wasn’t any place for him up there and there’d be no need for him to even try to die.

      “Alright, I won’t ask any more. That’s none of my business anyway - but ... no, forget it. You can beat him up yourself if he gets too demanding, you don’t need me to do that for you”, Nayantai elaborated, knowing well enough that Richard wouldn’t want it any other way. Protecting his son was something he wanted to do, but he also knew that locking him up wasn’t going to fix things, neither was running away from the truth and he had to admit that the world surrounding them disliked both of them - they had to stick together, whatever they wanted to or not. “My youth was a pain, if you want to hear that. I was some sort of entitled brat at first, I thought that the world belonged to me because I was the crown prince - or, well, in line for the throne. The war changed ... a lot, not only me”, the old man sighed, taking the heated water from the stove and brought it over to fill the tub with, still musing about what he’d want to tell Richard - but he had no idea. Once he went back to the kitchen, however, he stayed where he was, shook his head. “It took things from me, my brothers, my mother, someone I was supposed to love - and all I had was anger, before anger turned into killing, just to vent, to fill the void that ... I was feeling empty, but killing doesn’t fill that hole. If anything, it gave me nightmares - and at this point, I neither knew who I was nor do I remember much. It’s all a blur and well, let’s just say, I thought I spent a year locked up in Myriad when it actually was five? Or ... I don’t even know. Forget about it. I’m talking too much, that’s nothing you should know anyway.” Nayantai had talked too much, didn’t want to burden Richard and yet he did.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard was the only one Nayantai had left, aside from his friends here, but he didn't see them for years and his sister for whom the same applied. In turn Richard also had no one left but Nayantai and yet he kept his distance to him. Sure sometimes he talked to hm, asked question, but when they talked for a view minutes he usually bailed, because he somehow couldn't hear any of that and his stomach was feeling awkward. He just needed to leave as soon as it seemed he got too close, too much of a good son, or friend. He deep down knew why that was, it was the same reason he pushed everyone away and that probably led to him overcompensating last night. That's what he got from all of it, just because Yujin was an annoying idiot that refused to leave Richard alone. The blonde pretty much hated himself right now and his life, all of it. "What are you talking about? It sounds like you think he forced himself on me... which he didn't! No one did and if someone tries he or she will come out with more than a broken nose. And mind you, Yujin has a girlfriend and I don't want one. I just got a bit too drunk and was around other drunk people is all..." Trying to explain things made it worse, right? Richard should just shut up.

      Richard hadn't really asked about Nayantais past but yet he told him about it now. Still this felt more than a lecture than anything else, just like last time about his grandfather teaching Nayantai that anger and violence led to nothing at all. "Is this supposed to tell me that going back to Adrestia will do nothing for me?", Richard asked with a deep sigh. "I already have nightmares.", he added. Killing those people might give him new ones, maybe, but they'd be better than what he was seeing every night right now. Seeing his brothers and sister die over and over and over again, he rather be haunted by the lifes he destroyed himself. Those who killed them deserved death and Nayantai wouldn't change his mind about that. Richard stood there his clothes in his hand and ready to just vanish into the bathroom, but right now he looked at Nayantai, trying to figure out what he was talking about and why. "What now? With all of... them... dead? Aren't you angry?", he asked.