bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

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    • What difference would it make? Either way, it would piss Richard off, Nayantai knew that himself because every little thing that he ever got to hear when he was like that seemed like a thousand knives, digging into his skin, ripping him apart and generally, anything ticked him off if the timing was right, or, in that case, wrong. Sure, that never went away and despite trying, it sometimes was only worse, but this wasn't making it any better - not whatever Richard had to say, none of the things that were going on and definitely nothing of what was happening right now. Why did he even come home? Right, because problems wouldn't solve themselves and running away wasn't a good option. "Maybe it would be best you shut up and stop throwing around things that you'll regret saying", he cursed as he heard what his son had to say. What did he even want? A fist to the face? Or a grim reminder that life was but fleeting and that literally anything could knock air out of ones sails and life out of their body, just like that? Whatever it was, he wouldn't do anything about it - a reminder was enough, there wasn't anything else attached to it. "What do you mean, I was ..." Eh, what? "I was with you, I'm pretty sure." Something wasn't right here and while he remembered being with everyone, all of that was just a blur.

      "If you think I am, be my guest." Being riled up by something like this was easy, that much was clear, but swallowing his own anger and not thinking too much about it would be easier, once he took one of those hurdles down or at least figured out how he'd have to treat Richard. Coping with his trauma the way he'd done was out of question, especially considering the fact that there situations were, right about now, completely different. "For fucks sake, you're literally my son and I'd have to be a god awful person for not knowing you after raising you the past 17 years", Nayantai said, but his voice hadn't gotten louder, he was just starting to sound disappointed, to shun any and all words that came from Richards lips and maybe, just maybe, he was right. "You don't? And then you complain about me not being around? Make up your mind first." What had this turned into? If Rain could hear all of this, they'd probably both feel sorry soon enough, but he was dead, not here to intervene and that's not something that Nayantai wanted to begin with - he wanted none of this, he wanted peace and quite and for Richard to not feel like he did, that was something neither of them deserved. "You aren't going anywhere", was all he said before puttting himself between the door and Richard. "If you don't want me or him around, you can feel free to use my room, but you're not going out like that in the dead of the night, especially not alone."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Maybe Richard would have been better off dead, away from all of this lonliness and fear, away from his nightmares and instead with the rest of his family. Maybe if Nayantai had just run away alone he'd be better off too and he probably thought the same thing, because why else was he constantly away, running, being alone, away from Richard and the things he lost and the things he regretted. "We'd both be better off if I was dead and Dayan alive.", he rephrased his sentence, not shutting up, he wouldn't let Nayantai tell him what to do and what to say. "You weren't there. You didn't protect us, so don't act like you can now. I saw them die while you were away, just like you always are. Don't act all high and myghty and if you suddenly know what's best for me, because you don't.", Richard gave back through gritted teeth and in some way he was angry at Nayantai for not being there, for having Dayan and Richard look after the twins. He also hated himself for not doing that, for letting them die without even raising his sword, instead he had just been lucky not to die and Nayantai was there too late to save anybody else.

      Why did Nayantai just swallow and take all this? He was like Yujin that asked him to punch him and that took all talk about his shit country, his weird parents and stupid eyes without taking it personal. Richard wasn't a raw egg that needed to be protected, that couldn't deal with someone finally giving him what he deserved. At least Yujin had done just that. "I'm not the same person I was months ago!", Richard replied and he wasn't sure if this disappointed look was for him or for Nayantai himself, because he felt like a shitty father. "Fine, fuck off then. I don't need your help and even if I did, I don't want it, because I know that you'll just fuck it up again. If I hadn't relied on you and Dayan, maybe they'd still be alive, so from now on, I'm on my own, I've been since I got here anyway, because all you can do is run and when it matters you're not here." That ought to hurt didn't it? And most of what left Richards mouth he didn't mean to say and yet he did, it was like a switch that was pushed, that let him shove everyone aside at the slighest of sign that they for some reason liked him. Wasn't it better he got rid of Nayantai before he just was ripped out of his life too? "Get out of my way!", he demanded and tried to reach past Nayantai to open the door. "You can't lock me up here!" He needed air, time alone which he didn't have for days now and as much as he had run from Yujin, he wanted to do the same now, without passing out right after though. He wouldn't, he was sure of that and if Nayantai didn't want things to get even more ugly, he'd better let him go.

    • To hell with all of that, why was this the only form of communication they had left and why was it seemingly consisting of who could get to piss off the other first? He was tired, but too hell with that, why, he didn't even care, this was hell itself and he found himself in the middle of it which, actually, wasn't something too surprising. "Richard, stop it", Nayantai answered, closing his eyes and fighting off the impending headache by pressing his fingers against his forehead. "What are you even going on about? Why on earth would I be happier if Dayan was alive? You're all my children, for fucks sake, blood-ties or not, I raised you, you are my son, why wouldn't I be happy that you are alive?", the old wolf sighed. Was this why Richard was being so curt? Because he believed that if Dayan was around, things would be different because his older brother wasn't like him? To Nayantai, he didn't want to actually know what his actual son would be like if he were alive, but he also didn't want to know what Richard would turn into, but he did, right now, as he was watching. "What are you even trying? If you're looking for me to get angry of you, or to do anything you could use as fuel to the fire, just stop it, I'm not playing this game." Venting one's frustrations was fine, but the pace at this was going was, very much so, disgusting.

      Was he supposed to yell back at Richard? To lash out at him and just give him a treatment that he, under no circumstances, deserved? No, this wasn't how that was supposed to go and if he was honest, that also wasn't how he wanted it to go to begin with. Nayantai was almost certain that that was something Richard was aiming for, but he'd be even worse of a father if he complied to that. "I know, I can see and hear that and I also know that you're feeling like nothing makes sense, that the world is unfair and if you could, you'd just murder your way through it, in hopes of making it better - I've been there, but it's not going to help", the old wolf added, shaking his head and eyeing Richard again. All of that had gotten him a dead eye, something that he wasn't going to get back and in all honesty, it was a surprise that it hadn't cost him Rain or anyone. "I'm not going anywhere and now stop it. Relying on others isn't a weakness, it's better than charging headfirst into stupid things and losing a limb in the process - neither of us can change the past and I'm not going to sit idly by and watch you fuck up the rest of your life." Running away was one thing, he needed fresh air, felt locked in in here, especially when nobody was there or at least not awake and going days without sleep or much food wasn't uncommon for him either, which was probably why he just looked as horrible as he did - but Richard wasn't the only one. "I can, I'm still your father, if you like it or not, and now", he grabbed Richards hand by the wrist and used his other to touch the blondes forehead - he was still somewhat warm, wasn't he? "If I tell you to go back to bed you won't, because you can't sleep, but I won't let you go outside, not alone and not like this - either you're staying or I'm coming with you."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard looked at Nayantai for a second, trying to figure out if he was honest, or if he just said what he did, because he had to as Richards father and as his real fathers husband. Richard suddenly felt like he was about to cry, which invalidated the whole point of being angry, being angry served as a strong enough feeling to not be anything else. To not be sad, frustrated and overall feeling like he was dead anyway or dying at least. "Dayan would know what to do...", he mumbled, almost whispered it to himself and he missed him so much all the while knowing that he never could be like him, no matter what he did. How would he react in this situation? How would he feel if Richard was the one dead? Richard didn't know. Why didn't he know?! He was supposed to know his brother, he knew him since the day he was born, they spent to much time together and he didn't know who to look up to anymore, he couldn't even imagine him being here. Why not? "I'm not trying to do anything...", he answered looking down to his feet, he was just... not thinkin and even then Dayan was always better at doing that.

      "Why not? Sitting here doesn't help either!", Richard asked, why couldn't he just kill those he killed his family? Why couldn't he fight for something in Adrestia, why did he need to be here in Silesse where there was only time to think about all the things he'd lost and never would get back? And while he was trying to figure things out for himself, figure out who he was now, there was just nothing, a balck hole, a shell with no soul left. He had no purpose, he had nothing, how could he live a life if all his desires and wishes just died with Dayan and all there was left was anger at those who took a part of himself? Richard was sure that the only reason he still lived was not to be out here, it was to avenge those who died. Murdering his way through sounded exactly like what he needed to do. "There's no life left to fuck up.", Richard mumbled once more and then looked up when he was suddenly grabbed and felt a cold hand on his forehead. "I just want to be alone for fifteen minutes! Why do you get to run off all night and I don't?", he asked somewhat mad and tried to free his wrist as well as he shook off the hand from his forehead. "Please...", he almost turned to begging. Why was it that everyone tried to suffocate him? Nayantai and Yujin, they both didn't let Richard any room to breath, when he wanted to get away they ran after him, held him although he just wanted a moment for himself, without people telling him what to do or how to feel. And then they wondered when he exploded like that.

    • The thing was, that Nayantai himself didn't know what he wanted to do, what he was supposed to do and how hard this was going to get - he had always dreaded something like this would happen, had hoped it wouldn't, but for fucks sake, it had and now he had someone that shared his pain, someone that knew exactly how frustrating it was to be powerless - and still, he was consumed by rage, just like him, but in this case, there was no war to use as a substitute for a good talk, no faceless monsters to kill. Out here, there was nothing, not even comfort. "It's alright if you don't know everything, you aren't alone", he reassured Richard. Surely, he sometimes felt like he was, as if his old man couldn't quite understand his suffering, but said old man did, a lot, actually. How many times had he suffered through death, had forced himself to look back up when it all went to hell, just because his life didn't end there? And right about now, he had to do the same and stay where he was, stay put and not do much else - if he did, he find himself and the only person he had left to be unhappy so there really was no need to stay behind, to figure all of this out on his own, no - he just wanted to be. "That's alright", Nayantai replied and shook his own head. He was an idiot, wasn't he?

      "I know and no, it doesn't exactly help. But before you can get what you want, you should focus on healing - rage makes you uncontrollable and even if I can't stop that, you at least need to pack a punch to fight through the pain", that, for one, wasn't too bad advice, but it somehow, also, was. Richard wasn't going to become like him, Nayantai didn't want that, but he also knew that right about now, whatever he said could lead to a different reaction. Playing it save wasn't his favorite game, but what other options did he have? There were none, not right now. "Don't say that. What are you going to do if you get your revenge and survive doing that?", the old wolf asked, but he knew that if he got all sappy right about now, Richard wouldn't want to hear that, he wouldn't want to hear anything from him, actually - but he let go of his wrist and forehead when he was asked to, before grabbing his own coat that hung there. "I'm old and you aren't ... do you want to come with me the next time I run off in the dead of the night?", Nayantai suddenly asked, before putting his coat around Richards shoulders - he hated thrian clothing, but ... "Just take this, and don't stay out for too long - I'm going to brew tea and stay here." That was it, Nayantai stepped aside and patted Richards shoulder. "Don't do anything stupid, I trust you."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard didn't want to hear that, did he? Actually what did he want, Nayantai knew more of what Richard was going through than Yujin at least and nstead of telling him that everything was fine, which it was not, Nayantai told him that it was alright to be lost. He prefered that but then again he had no snappy answer, no anger left right now, because somehow Nayantai knew what was the right thing to do and it was almost annoying. They both wanted their family back and found themselves in a situation none of them had foreseen. They both found themselves at the end of the world, a fitting place for people whos hearts had been ripped out of their chests, for someone who was lonely and empty, just like Silesse was. Richard thought he needed to get along better with Nayantai but for some reason he was not and everytime he let him in just a little bt, something inside of him snapped and pushed him back out, further than he needed to, further than his old man deserved. Still Richard wasn't sure if Nayantai loved him as much as he had loved Dayan and he wanted him to have a better son, not someone who was so much in turmoil that he didn't know what he was doing and why.

      "Maybe I don't want to heal... it's not fair...", he mumbled, but he didn't want to talk about that with Nayantai. He didn't want to tell him that he wanted to live this life like an undead, because it wasn't fair that he was going to live when his siblings didn't have a chance. He had no answers for Nayantai, deep down he just wanted to get his revenge and die achieving that, if he were to live, maybe he'd end it himself or maybe he managed to come out stronger and with an actual intent to keep going, who knew? He didn't need to have all the answeres right away, but he knew that he couldn't get over his nightmares as long as those people were still alive. "No... we both want to be alone.", Richard mumbled and finally got let go off. Like a cat he tried to flee Nayantais touch, but he did slip into the coat, though he didn't close it up. It was way too big for him, but he didn't intend to go very far. "I wont...", he mumbled and finally opened to the door to step outside. He didn't go very far, just to the cliff overseeing the sea, where Yujin and him fell. He sat down on his usual spot, breathing, thinking and wiping away some tears that found their way down his cheeks, but he was done with sobbing. He let himself fall on the back, his legs dangled from the edge and he just watched the moon for a while.

      When Richard was getting cold he stood up and made his way back to the hut. He wasn't sure if Nayantai was still awake, but he probably was. He silently opened the door, closed it behind him and took of his shoes. Nayantai had waited with a cup of tea, didn't he? Richard took off Nayantais coat and hung it next to the door, he did the same with his own and he wiped off some snow that had been stuck in his hair. Then he walked over to the table and sat down, he didn't say anything for a while until he opened his mouth anyway. "I want some earth and seeds from Adrestia... I want to try and grow some plants at the window.", he suddenly explained though the topic had been dropped a long time ago. "I'll work for it myself, just don't clutter the space there." He quickly drank his cup of tea as soon as it wasn't burning his mouth if he did and then stood up again. "I'm going to bed now...", he announced, but didn't start walking towards either of the rooms right away. "Thanks... for the tea...", he mumbled and then finally he kept going and picked his own room for the night. He didn't dress properly when he went out, so he still had his sleeping clothes on. That was convinient, because he was tired and beat and Yujin was still sleeping. The wolf prince was still very sick, wasn't he? Richard crawled into the bed, trying to not wake him up. He cuddled into his blanket and looked at Yujins back for a while, listening to his breathing. Oh he wished he'd be able to sleep like that. Lying there made Richard think back at his fight with Nayantai, about everything and also the fight with Yujin that had ended very suddenly with his heart failing him. He felt like pulling his hair out, but instead for some reason he inched closer to Yujin and pressed his forehead and hand against his back, closing his eyes. Yujin was asleep, so this was fine, right? And maybe he'd fall asleep like that too...

    • How long ...? There had been some ruckus out there not too long ago, at least Yujin thought there wasn't, but he'd turned around and fell asleep - he didn't even question it, Richard hadn't been there, but he felt unwell enough to not get up and go out there, ask something stupid and then crawl back into bed. Actually, why did he even bother? The unfamiliar voices told him enough and all that he understood was something, nothing of use. However, he was awake now, slowly coming to and he felt ... what did he even feel like? That was something he couldn't say himself, but he could at least smell something, was it tea? At least he thought it might have been, but alas, he still lay there and there was some odd weight against his back. The entire night he'd curled up in this corner and now, someone else had taken up the rest of the bed - which he did rightfully. However, waking up Richard always felt like it was a waste, especially when he couldn't sleep all night and kept pacing around, so Yujin would leave him like this, for now, if he felt any better from that. Why was he like that anyway? It wasn't his place to ask, so he wouldn't, but still, it somewhat annoyed him to a certain degree and he wondered if it had to be that way or if it was fine to just keep ignoring it all.

      They both couldn't stay in bed all day, Yujin thought he felt better and he wanted to get back up, wanted to go home to stop bothering all of the people around here and just generally remove his presence from this hut, no longer occupy a space in this bed and he wanted to go back to what he usually would be doing around this time, which ought to be annoying his brother. Now, however, he somehow was stuck being aorund Richard, which wasn't bad, actually, he just found it odd that he felt like his own head told him to comfort the blonde, to stick around him and to not leave him hanging. Yujin forced himself to slowly sit up eventually - he didn't feel dizzy just from that and he hadn't sweat through the clothes he'd been given, so that was nice, wasn't it? A slight cough remained, but that was fine, he wasn't going to be floored by this much longer and he could go back to the usual soon enough. "Are you awake?", he asked, his voice sounding somewhat raspy and almost wordless, as if he was not even intend on really asking that question but found himself forced to for one reason or the other. Man, Richards hair looked like a mess again, he should fix that sometime soon, which also was why Yujin was slowly dragging his fingers through blonde locks. "I should let you sleep, shouldn't I?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard had fallen asleep pretty fast, he hadn't even noticed and also hadn't moved since. It was dark and silent, nothing to worry about for a while, his head was empty, though he soon started to dream about things, not his usal nightmare, but also not pleasent. His head tried to make sense of the discussion he had, but at least he didn't wake up from that. There was darkness again, just sleep after, hours probably and Richards body and mind managed to rest a bit, but as always, when his body signaled his brain that at least some sleep had made up for the energy loss, the nightmares started. Nothing much happened at first, he just was in the room where it all had happened, with his siblings, talking to Dayan about trivial stuff. Richard knew where this was going, but he couldn't stop it from happening, he knew he was dreaming, but he couldn't wake up, neither could he tell Dayan to watch out. He wasnt able to do anything, his body moved on his own following the events that had happened, without allowing Richard to interfere. It was torture and as always, suddenly the scenery changes to something grim.

      "Are you awake?" A voice pulled him out of his nightmare, it was faint, far away, but enough to letch onto and let himself be pulled back into the real world, before his nightmare started to take the better of him. He opened his eyes and in front of him was just his bed and Yujin close by, having sat up. Richard felt his fingers run through his hair, but he didn't move, not at all. "Nobody ever told you not to wake sleeping dogs...?", he asked, but actually he was glad Yujin did. He had good timing regarding that, but he could have pulled him out of his dream a little bit sooner to be honest. Richard contunued just lying there, not moving and instead of looking at Yujin or sitting up, he just closed his eyes again with a slight sigh. He was tired, but it would go away eventually, when he got up. But what was he even about to do? Kick Yujin out for real? Or just leave him here while he went to town to figure out how he could get some stuff from Adrestia and what he needed to trade for it. He probably could have asked the wolf in his bed, but he didn't want to, even though Nayantai was probably hinting at him when he told him not to ask Shuren or Muhan. Richard however didn't want any favors from him and he didn't want any presents either, he wanted to make it on his own.

    • Yujin wasn't exactly sure if waking Richard, once more, had been a good idea - but for some reason, he was the one that always woke up this guy with the stupidest of things, for some reason at least. "Didn't try to, but now you're awake", the wolf said, still looking at the young man that made no efforts to move, instead, he seemingly sought after his sleep, didn't want to actually get up and all that earned him was a smile from Yujin, who kind of understood him and the things he seemingly went through, but on the other hand, he wasn't sure if that was all that were and would be to it. For all he knew, something could be happening, Richard could come up with something and suddenly bolt out of this room again, so he wanted to play it safe, somehow at least. "I don't have to ask if you slept well, because you didn't I assume, so", the wolf looked around, a bit puzzled, knowingly so, because he couldn't exactly start a pillowfight to buy himself time, instead, he looked at his fellow wolf and gave him a smile, one that he wouldn't see if his eyes stayed closed like that. What now, though? Surely, they both had energy to spare.

      For now, he looked at Richard and continued combing through his hari - this was going somewhere, well, Yujin himself wasn't sure where, but it surely had to start and end at some point and that, seemingly at least, meant that none of the things that even came to mind were relevant like this, no. "So, I'll return these clothes, get back into mine and walk home, how's that sound? I feel better already." That wasn't a lie, he actually felt better than he had yesterday and it hadn't been to bad yesterday, had it now? However, that meant he'd have to leave Richard by his lonesome and that, in turn, meant not seeing him for a few days, despite finding annoying him quite funny, wasn't that a shame? "I'm guessing you want some time alone anyway", he replied, mulling over the things he'd heard yesterday night, even though that amounted in nothing and it also meant that he really didn't hear anything to begin with either - all of that was just stupidly fuddled together and none of it amounted to that much, so, whatever it had been that Richard had been talking about yesterday night, Yujin didn't know. "Any objections?", he asked as he got up.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • At least Yujin didn't expect Richard to lie, because he didn't sleep well, he never did, but having some hours of peace was good enough, he didn't wake up every other hour, so this was actually all he could ask for. He was still tired, as always, but getting up and doing something most of the times helped. Still he didn't know what to do exactly, if Nayantai let him, maybe he could pick up his training again, at least a little bit. Run a while, then maybe some other workout to strengthen his arms... he'd lost a lot of weight on the journey here and he needed it back. Otherwise, how would he ever beat Nayantai? But for now he didn't want to get up and he wasn't even annoyed by the constant tugging on his hair, actually... it felt nice. Still he asked Yujin:"What are you doing?" Richard knew he combed his hair, so maybe the question should have been why. Well, it didn't matter much, these were just usual Yujin things, right? He probably acted like that towards anyone, but it also kept Richard from fully waking up in a straight way. Just closing his eyes a little longer was nice.

      "Finally.", Richard replied, though he didn't really mean it like that, but this was who he decided to be. He didn't want to kick Yujin out and he was raised to ask him if he felt fine, if he needed help and if he should accompany him, but Richard didn't, because he didn't want to. Yujin would do fine, find his way back home and get healthy there. If he felt the constant urge to get touchy, he'd have his girlfriend and Richard was saved from all of that. He could be alone, just like he wanted it. "I do.", he also replied in a short and quick manner. He wondered if Yujin expected him to tell him he didn't need to leave right away, he could have breakfast, or company, but Richard did nothing of that sorts either, but he opened his eyes and sat up when Yujin was leaving his side to stand up. "No objections.", he said refusing the last opportunity to let him halt for a moment. Maybe he'd go to town later on to ask about Adrestian goods, but not together with Yujin, so for now he'd just let him leave, take his time getting ready and maybe after his training had time to stop by the habor.

    • Was he disappointed when Richard finally sent him off on his journey? Maybe. But Yujin knew that he wasn't going to get much from staying here, as much as he knew that he'd taken enough space right about now and that he'd overstayed his welcome a while ago. That, among other things, also meant that he was actually willing to leave without any definite expectations that nobody would fulfill anyway. Actually, he wouldn't have minded if Richard had just asked him to leave straight away, but instead, this had been all fun and games, hand't it? "I was, well, combing your hair? It's a mess", he elaborated, knowing he didn't exactly make it that much better but at least he had tried and not all of his efforts had been in vain which, from his own standpoint, wasn't too bad, was it now? Frankly, he'd tried and that much was for certain. "You really want me gone, huh?", Yujin chuckled upon what the blonde expressed, only to slip fully out of bed and start undressing - going home like this would not only be cold, it also would be somewhat odd, especially when everyone knew his face and everyone would know where those clothes came from, where he'd been the past few days and so forth.

      "At least you're being awfully honest right now, that's a plus." Somehow, it felt as if Richard still wasn't being honest, but Yujin couldn't exactly tell and if he was honest himself, he didn't want to get into a scuffle this early, which was why he got out of his clothes, cast them aside and stuffed them in the basket that Richard had there, only to rummage for his own and when he found them, started to re-dress. They still smelled awful, but at least they weren't damp from sweat anymore - still, he'd not only need another bath when he was home, but also a fresh set of clothes. That, however ... where the fuck did he even put his second coat? Who cared, he'd just use it as an excuse to come back here and leave it lying wherever it was. "Alright then, ice prince. Thank you for the bed, the food, the bath and your company. Next time, I'll return the favor - have a nice day and don't overdo it", he implored Richard, now that he was putting on the alst of his clothes, slipping back into his coat and shoes and then, well, he was on his way after that, waving at Richard before checking the living room - there actually was a piping pot of tea on the table - and leaving through the front door. Well, his legs already hated him, but he had been in that bed for a few days, so that wasn't too abnormal.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richards hair needed maintenance, but that wasn't something new and it wasn't yujins job, well but he also didn't stop him. Now however this all didn't matter anymore. Richard combed through his own hair, not as gently as Yujin, he just wanted them to look presentable. While he did that he watched Yujin get up and change. Actually, why did he even look? Then again, why not, there was nothing new to see and he didn't care anyway. He took another look at the scar and rubbed his own neck slowly, but only for a short time. Soon enough Yujin had been fully dressed in ridicolously many layers, as he always was. "You've been here long enough, haven't you?", he simply replied and watched Yujin search together all his things and check if he forgot something, but he also seemed like he was in a hurry. Well maybe it was better to leave before Nayantai told him to stay, so Richard didn't stop him. He only got up when Yujin was ready to go and gifted him a short "Bye.". There was no need to repay any favors, either way Yujin left, waved him goodbye and soon enough also left the hut completely. Richard sighed and decided he'd get dressed too, so he searched for some new clothes and a new neckerchief. As he looked to the side he found Yujins coat lay on the floor next to the footend of the bed and he sighed. Should he run after him? No... he didn't care. For now the only thing he did was hang it so it wouldn't get all wrinkled.

      Richard dressed, ate breakfast and then went for his training. That took until lunch. He came back home to eat some more and fix himself a bath, all the while avoiding any conversation with Nayantai. He decided he didn't want to go to town and implore the people about goods from Adrestia, he hadn't figured out yet if he really wanted to reveil that his Thrian was only half bad. It was easier if he could pretend he didn't understand a word those wolves said to him and maybe he also was a little nervous and didn't want to get disappointed. He didn't even know what he'd be able to trade. Fur and meat? Or maybe labor? Maybe he could help out at the habor, but all those people there didn't make this very attractive. Maybe he should first check out the hunting spots with Nayantai, so he could make his own money so to speak and then he'd be able to offer something in exchange right away. On the other hand it probably took a while to get the stuff over here... whatever, for now he didn't want to ask and was happy to be somewhat alone. Maybe he'd be able to ask Nayantai a few things to not be completely lost, without starting a fight with him. Maybe he could at least tell him how to eat with those stupid wooden sticks.

    • Everyone was busy in their own ways, that much seemed clear and thus, it followed suit that Nayantai actually spend most of the day at home, just occassionally stepping out of the door to either rid himself of something or taking a breather, but Richard wasn't around much, or at least he didn't try to be. His old man didn't mind, why would he? The thing was, if Richard didn't want something, he would just avoid it and if that was his own father, well, who would stop him from trying? Said father was busy cleaning the whole hut, getting rid of some things and decluttering the space that Richard had announced he'd want to use for plants - he was to keep that empty, as he'd been told, so one more favor wasn't going to hurt. After that, now that he'd been busy all morning and what felt like the night as well, he'd just brewed tea and left it at that after drinking a cup himself. There wasn't much more to do around here, he'd never done this much work back in Myriads castle, but he had wanted to - but then again, he was supposed to be a diplomat of some sort, not Rains housewife and he found himself being bored at the sole thought of having to sit idly by and do nothing.

      Now that he actually had to do chores again, he found himself wondering why he'd ever wished to have them back - they were great at keeping him fit, but they also were incredibly annoying when one didn't know where to start and wooden floorboards weren't as forgiving or easy to clean as marble tiles. All in all, this day was frustrating and when he found himself actually cooking again, he wondered what he'd spend the entire day with - this had gone by in a breeze and judging from the peek he took into Richards room, to retrieve dirty laundry and open the window for a while, Yujin had went away as well, just like Richard had urged him too. Nayantai wondered where any of this was going to lead, but right about now, he didn't even care - there had to be a way to make this life livable and if there wasn't, they'd at least be able to go back home at some point. Wouldn't it be ... nevermind, as if someone would trade for that, this was getting stupid. "Food's ready", the old wolf announced into nothingness, as if that was going to have any effect, but he'd see eventually, no?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard wondered when he'd see Yujin again, when he showed up to get his coat that he accidently - or not - left here, or to just annoy Richard. Well he didn't have to open the door, right? But eventually he'd have to, or Nayantai simply let him in. Hopefully he didn't want to thank him for real, by doing something for Richard, whatever that may be, there was no reason to anyway. It would have been easier to ask him for the plants though, at least to arrange everything and then he'd pay him and in the end only had one single person to deal with instead of multiple. But then again Yujin would probably want to get everything for him for free and Richard didn't want that either. This was a predicament,maybe when he slept a day over it it would be better and he came up with something, whatever that may be. Why was he thinkin about Yujin anyway? He was only gone a few hours, no need to think about his face so soon after, though maybe he was just afraid now that he didn't know what he'd do next.

      When Richard heard something about food he forced himself to come to the table, still not able to decide what to do with the rest of the day, or the next, or the day after. For now he sat down at the table, for once there was no soup or stew and that meant no spoon but those tiny little wood things that made absolutely no sense. Usually Richard would take his plate and go into his room with it, but not today, he felt bad for yesterday and bored and useless today, so he sat down and picked up the chopsticks, probably handling them like a child. "How does this work?", he asked grumbling, trying to figure out how to hold them and how to pick up food with those. Why do it simple when you can do it complicated, right? "Nayantai...?", he also began and looked up from his struggling hand and around the room. Some things had changed while he was gone, right? "You can give me chores too, you know? I'm bored anyway."

    • Eating together with Richard had become a rare occasion, which was weird if he considered that he'd usually sit at a table of six - including him - and more, if guests were around. Wasn't it weird to think about all of this so suddenly, to give it a thought now that there were only two of them? Being almost on his own after all this time wasn't only odd but also ... wasn't it horrible too? There were no children yelling, chasing after one another and there was no husband that he could just shoot a glance to earn a quite exasperated face back from, no. There was him, who'd have to deal with the pain and there was Richard, who not only had to do that, but also had lost any smile that had ever sat on his face. Wasn't that sad? Theoretically, they both were sad, but that also was besides the point that Nayantai was trying to raise in his head, to himself, to justify his own stupidity and stubbornness. "How does wh- ... oh, chopsticks?", he asked, glancing at the blonde that seemingly was struggling. Normally, they ate soup, broth, or something they could just use a spoon for, but that wouldn't do in this case. Nayantai had never given it a second thought, he didn't taste anything anyway and when he and Rain first met, not only was a fork something foreign, he probably also skewered the meat why harder than he should.

      Thinking back, sitting at that ridiculously large table, eating together, all the while they were surrounded by silence in an empty-feeling room had been eerie, hadn't it? It was as if nobody wanted to come near him, sitting there with absolutely no table manners and Rain didn't really want to be there either, but eating was fun, somehow, even though all of it was bland and he'd only realized way later that it wasn't because sheep couldn't cook, but because his sense of taste had failed him sometime in Myriad, when all that he got to eat tasted disgusting anyway. "You take them like this", Nayantai showed Richard with his own hands, hoping his son would just mirror the pose. "And then you do this", he demonstrated, making it look easily enough but that wasn't much of a proper explanation. "If you need a hand, just say the word, though." Not only was he feeling odd about all of this, hadn't ... no, not even Dayan had ever wanted to know that, calling it a hassle and somehow, that amused him - memories were something nice, once in a while. "Yes?", he asked, peering up from his own plate, back at Richard. "Oh, you were outside all morning so I thought I'd let you rest and I didn't plan to clean that much. But the space for your plants is ready - I can't give you any good soil for them, but I should be able to find some pots around here", explained, shoving a strip of meat into his mouth, only to then think about what Richard could do while chewing. "What about cleaning your room then?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard looked at Nayantais hands and tried to mimic how he held those things. Every cub around here probably was better in holding their chopstick than Richard and he was almost 18 of age, this was embarrasing. His hand felt weird holding the sticks like this, was it supposed to be like that? This wasn't comfortable at all, or did he do something wrong? He watched Nayantai use his with ease and though he probably could have needed some help with all of that, maybe if he just alined his hands, he didn't want Nayantai to touch him. That sounded weird, but he didn't want to get too close ever since he woke up as well as he didn't like to show his face. "Did dad use them too, when he was in Thria with you?", Richard suddenly asked. Such minor details never had come up before right? But the former king also had lost his home and fled with Nayantai to Thria. He needed to adjust here too right? Even though they never went as far as Silesse. His father probably sucked up everything he could learn and had fun doing it... Richard wasn't like him and he also wasn't like Dayan, so who was he exactly?

      "I can do that.", Richard mumbled all the while trying to pick up some food, but it just fell back down on his plate when he tried to move it to his mouth. He looked at the plate and the meat on it almost bewildered, as if he could stare the meat into submission, but he couldn't. He tried to align those things anew and he tried again to actually get something to eat. He refused to use his hands or misuse those things, if he didn't manage to do that, he got nothing to eat, end of story. "I will ask for earth from Adrestia, but I'm not sure if this even works... and if the seeds survive. Anyway... if it does maybe I can grow something, I'll grow tired of meat and roots in the long run. I miss the food at home... also maybe that is worth something? You think we could trade those?" Richard looked up but shook his head soon after. "Nevermind, maybe it doesn't work anyway..." Better not to get his hopes up. He wasn't sure if the cold weather didn't kill anything that tried to come here and packing it up won't keep it warm out here, it would need a fire and Richard didn't think any sailor would care about some stupid seeds like he would for people. "Did dad wear Thrian clothes?" Why was he thinking about him so much today?

    • It was almost cute watching Richard misuse the chopsticks, and why was that? Because the sight itself was enough to make him chuckle, but he didn't, he had similar enemies and they were called knives and forks. Sure, thrians could handle knives, but not that close to their food when it theoretically was ready to eat, same with forks, which none of them ever used - a lot of thrians would probably think of forks as weird things that didn't make any sense, but adrestians probably thought the same of chopsticks, wooden or not. "Rain? Yes, but it took a while until he got the hang of it. Not that he did mind, your father was pretty optimistic, even if everything was going to shit." Sure, he'd given Rain a hand and often enough he'd offered him his own food and basically fed him, but that had been less because Rain didn't get the hang of it but more because he, himself, felt not only that he had to take care of his husband, but also to assert dominance and show that Rain was his any he wasn't going to allow anyone to get too close, as simple as that. "Trial and error", Nayantai responded while going on and eating his own food.

      Maybe he should have taught Richard and Dayan before, but neither of them were really keen on doing it - if Dayan said no, Richard almost always defaulted to the same response and sometimes Nayantai questioned which one of his kids were the real twins, it was almost uncanny, but ... it wasn't unheard of, wasn't it? "By the window, they should be getting enough sun to soak up and since it's warm in the living room, they won't freeze to death. Adrestian soil for adrestian seeds isn't too bad of an idea, though. Hm, do you want me to try cooking some adrestian dishes then? If we get our hands on whole fruits we could take the seeds from those ... and I'm sure we can trade something like that, especially here." They were mulling over something, something that wasn't going to work out in the long run, not in this climate and not with the little ways they actually had of keeping all those plants save and alive. "You haven't even started growing any, don't give up now", he told his son and maybe he was right. Richard hadn't started that yet, why was he so certain he'd fail? Probably because Nayantai wasn't having any faith either. "Sometimes. I mean, less when he was back in Adrestia, but I remember when I first showed up in Fhaergus, Sara fixed my ... rags, they weren't really clothes, and I let Rain wear them. They apparently were comfortable and warm enough for him to get his own clothes modeled after those. Well, I also had a habit of stuffing him in thrian clothing once we arrived here to keep him warm and because we didn't have a lot of his clothes anyway. Why are you asking?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard still tried to balance the food between the chopsticks and eventually, with leaning downwards and catching the piece of meat with his teeth when it dropped, he had something in his moth to chew, while he tried to get the next one. First he set the chopsticks aside to realign them in his hand afterwards, here and then he looked at Nayantai, but actually he wanted to figure this out himself. "He probably had fun learning it.", Richard agreed, he could see his dad like that, always a smile on his lips even if there was nothing to smile about. When his grandfather dies Rain hurt the most, yet he was the one keeping everyones spirits high, telling stories about Caelan and how they'd see him again when they were old and ready to leave this world too. Well he was wrong on at least one part... most of them him included died too young, but maybe they at least got reunited in some heaven. He wondered though... did wolves and sheep share the same heaven or was Rain bound to never meet Nayantai or Dayan again? And where would Richard end up? Nowhere at all, all alone? No... he'd at least have his other grandfather, Nayantais father... that was some sort of comfort, unless they'd just be cast out, damned for eternity.

      "Do you think seeds will survive the cold way til they get here?", Richard asked, but how would Nayantai know? He probably was right, they'd just need to try it and maybe at some point Richard could grow tomatoes, pepper, or maybe even strawberries. For a second he asked himself what Yujin would think of those fruit he probably never had here, but then he asked himself why he did care? Maybe Shuren would pay a good sum for it though? Richard looked up from his food again, it was getting cold but he stuck by his own rule of only eating those pieces that he managed to get into his mouth with the chopsticks. For some reason stories of his father calmed him down, even though it also made his chest tighten. "Just... well... because... he was kind of in a similar situation like me... right?" Only that Richard wasn't as optimistic and strong. Few would have called the former king strong, but in the end Richards family had brought forward the strongest people, right? Nayantai survived a lot, so did his grandfathers and his father, even though not physically as strong as anyone else, he lived through all of what happened to him and in the end became king. If Richard was more like him it probably would have made Nayantai happier too. Maybe he could start with being more open to Thrian things, like chopsticks... and their clothing maybe? It had been warm with Nayantais coat yesterday... but it also looked very uncomfortable to wear all that.

    • Watching him was indeed fun, but Nayantai held back with any snarky comments or his impending laughter - this wasn't the place to and Richard knew how he sometimes ate back in Adrestia, when he'd had a shit day, wanted some time alone and gave no fucks about the table manners that multiple people in the kings castle had almost methodically drilled into his head. No, he slumped over the entire table, shoved things into his mouth without caring and left half of the plate sitting on the table before crawling into bed - it didn't happen often, but some of his depressive episodes were horrible enough. "Yes, but that's Rain for you. I mean, he cried when I gave him a snowball for the first time, which, without context, is probably an odd thing", the old wolf said, trying to figure out his jumbled memories. Rain did cry because of a snowball, right? And then, it just melted in his hand, that had been about it, wasn't it? "Thinking about it, he also learned thrian pretty fast - and I still sound like a mangled, warbling animal when I speak adrestian", he joked around, but he wasn't too wrong. Over the years, he'd pretty much done a good job, but sometimes, his accent just came out and he didn't even care what he was speaking about - Rain did have a hell of a time learning all of this, didn't he?

      "Seeds normally don't freeze to death if they've matured, so they should be good." Even if they did, though, they'd mostly still be usable once they thawed, as long as they weren't acting too ridiculously about it. Speaking to his son was fun, one way or the other, but he wasn't used to Richard asking all those questions, going on and on about everything and then picking a topic like Rain - but it still was something that connected them, wasn't it? "Oh, that for sure. Just a lot more helpless and curious. I lunged him through Fhaergus mountains, to Wezette and then through Thria because Alsters borders were closed - and then he caught a cold, he'd never been outside before that. Thinking back, the way from Fhaergus to Thria was a pain in the ass. First he got whipped, then he got sick, then I decided I'll get my eye almost gouged out and then he stepped into a rusty bear trap. Oh, and we got almost eaten in Daein, but we were both pretty sick and there wasn't much meat on our bodies." Richard knew enough stories, not that any of them had ever gone into much details, especially not when their children were young, but Nayantai also knew that before Rain had met him, he had never went outside and he also had no scars on that body of his, at least not any that were visible. "The first time he ate thrian food, I thought he was going to die from the spice - I don't mind it and I haven't tasted anything in years, but it was a bit much for him."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "He cried? Why? Did you throw it into his face?", Richard asked confused and took his time looking into Nayantais face to figure out what this story was about. Actually he didn't think he did that, hi father was... well it always had been hard for anyone to hurt him, physically or mentally. When he was worried or disappointed... well he wasn that, only worried and pityful, but when he was that Richard always felt sorry immedietly. He probably wouldn't like Richard how he was now, would try to help him and maybe it had been enough if he were around, but he wasn't. Richard took a deep breath, then sighed to calm his nerves, he neither wanted to get sad, nor angry at Nayantai for no reason, not right now. Talking about his father was actually... nice. For both of them, right? But the more reason to not abandon Adrestia just like that, everything his father worked towards was there. "You sound fine, always have.", Richard mumbled, but he only knew Nayantai talking like he did now, maybe he had an accent, but Richard grew up with it, so he didn' think too much about it.

      "Mh... wenn I water them I probably have to heat up some water first... just a little bit. Wasn't it weird to grow up with almost nothing? There's only always meat." And then when he was able to have something else he didn't even taste it, that was sad. He managed to grab a piece of meat again and chewed it a while before swallowing it down, then he looked up again, listening to the summary of his fathers journey. He knew the gist of it, but there sure were details they never talked about. "How did he feel about leaving Fhaergus and Adrestia behind?", he wanted to know, did he want to go to war right away? Richard didn't want to fight a war, because it meant relying on too many people, but at least he wanted to fight, like his father, right? "Spice? I... I don't taste any difference between your food and the one that came out of Adrestias kitchen.", he pointed out after thinking about it. No, this tasted just fine, not spicey at all actually.