bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

"But it bothers you?", he asked for clarification. Perhaps it did. Maybe it shouldn't. Yujin couldn't speak for Richard and vice versa, he could only estimate what was on his mind, and he could only hope that that would eventually change, be it now or in the near future. Who was to say that nobody ever changed? To him, the world was stagnant and everything was the same - but Yujin knew that others weren't like that, and that Richard was far from that in the first place; he'd get better, he had to, and once that happened, perhaps he'd be the one to grow tired of a life that alway stayed the same, by a man that could never truly change. Was he scared of that? Even if, the fear that he felt was nothing short of idiotic for many reasons, be it that he wasn't taking himself seriously, or that every single movement in his body was but a reaction to things that he didn't expect them to be. "We can try something new as soon as you feel up for it, that way you slowly can come out of your shell ... sounds good?" Taking Richard out of the castle, well, that wouldn't work, but Yujin had his own set of ideas anyway and he'd make those work, he'd always done so. What would stop him? Some ice? Sure, as if. Not even Richard could if he truly put his mind toward something, and he knew that - at least Yujin hoped that he did.

"He'll answer your letter, and I'm sure he has his reasons for staying. Parents are weird sometimes, you know! Maybe he just thinks this for the best? But I'm not him, I can't say.", he tried to cheer Richard up. Why would Nayantai leave him, though? Yujin knew precious little about this man, a blur in the back of his head, a ghostly figure he'd never truly met - it was odd to make sense of, perhaps even weird to think about when he couldn't even recall this man name, but it was everything he had, for both himself and Richard. "I'm nice to everyone.", Yujin answered, smiling at Richard with an air of serenity around him; it was true. Yujin was like that one pup among all wolves that always needed to know everything, eternally curious and open for so many things, even if he shouldn't be, simply because he ought to be different than all the others, ready to get out of his shell if he needed to; not that he had one in the first place. He chuckled aloud. "We are whatever you want us to be, and if that means we're a couple, we're that. And if you just want me to be your friend, we're just that. Look, you're overthinking this. I'm not pressed to go back to how things were if you need time - we have a lot of that, we're pretty young, you know? And I don't remember much. Imagine how you'd feel if you had to explain our relationship to me every morning when I wake up next to you - it wouldn't be easy on you, but I think you'd do it, because you love me. I'm just doing the same. And if I'm that desperate to get intimate, I have two working hands.", he made sure that Richard understood, that he wouldn't be haunted by any grievances over this situation that had done so much to both of them. It was silly to be afraid, and yet ... what else was he to do? "Good idea." Yujin already sprawled himself out on the bed and left a spot for Richard. "I hope you dream something nice and maybe I'll ... actually, before we go to bed, I have a question. Do you even want me to remember who you were?"

"I don't want to be this weak.", Richard answered. He wanted to be normal, even if there wasn't much to go to here in Silesse. But he was scared of leaving this castle, he was even scared of walking the hallways alone. He knew most people didn't survive the climate here or at least lost the ability to fight, but those rats from Ollette found their ways, they might just pay someone who wasn't scared of Shuren. Richard clung to Yujin a bit more, as if that was enough to protect him here. Richard was scared, Ares was still alive and he didn't trust Lucien either, no matter that the helped saving them, it surely was only to further his own goals, probably to marry Dayan and get the whole kingdom. And then? What crazy plan would he come up with next? "Mhm..." Richard wanted to show Yujin his scars and the rest of his body, but he didn't want to promise something he might not want to do tomorrow, so he kept it for himself for now.

"He probably wants to stay with Dayan... and he probably thinks I hate him... and that being close to him might hurt me..." That was his own fault, he was the one that couldn't look at him. He was the one that freaked out. He hated himself for it. Yujin was nice to everyone and he'd take in every stray kitten no matter if it was mortified or feisty. Did he even like Richard, or did he just try to save everyone. "I don't know what we are... but I really wouldn't mind if you want to have some fun..." Yujin might have not wanted to hear it right now, but maybe if he was in the situation, he remembered Richards words. "I do...", he answered honestly even if it hurt Yujin. "You'd know who you fell in love with... and how I changed. I loved you so much, but I couldn't see it... love... no I don't know, everything feels different now." He wasn't ready to love anyone at this moment, he wanted to be close to Yujin, but he relied on him, that was different...

"You'll heal.", Yujin replied. Both of them would, from their own traumas, in their own ways, at their own pace, even if they currently buried their issues in the bowels of their own machinations, Yujin knew as well as Richard that every wound left a scar eventually and sometimes, those scars would even fade; if they didn't, that was another thing that Yujin couldn't influence, but by whatever was holy to Richard, he just wouldn't let him hang like that. He deserved more - he always did, and there was no reason to alienate him from any experience like that. Richard was brittle in his current state, much like a pair of broken bones, but honestly? Perhaps it was right like that. What if he needn't bee strong and didn't need anyone else? Yujin was happy to have him as is, to keep him comfortable and to wait for him to come to terms with whatever it was that needed it. Pain, though, was the last thing he wanted this guy to feel for a multitude of reasons, even if it had already happened and he couldn't change the past. "I can try slapping some salve on?", he jokingly suggested, but meant every word of it.

"We won't know until he tells us himself. Don't worry ... I don't think it's like that. Deep down he knows you don't hate him. Dads are like that, but they'd rather see themselves suffer than anyone else." Yujin didn't mean it in the grand scheme of things, but he couldn't remember a time where he wasn't watching Muhan take the fall for one of them; he'd always come up with something to get Shuren to be more lenient with the four of them, be it because they'd coated the entire kitchen in flour, or because they'd simply lost any kind of button from their clothing among some of the cupboards they had been playing between. "That sounds like you want me to go outside and have fun just so you have some time for yourself.", he teased. "You can say it if you want to be alone for a bit, but I won't go and fuck some other person just because you think I need it. I'm fine, I promise.", he assured Richard once more and then, he was lost in thought yet again. What would it bring if not destruction? It was awful in its own way, it always would be. "I'll try, then. Whoever you were, I want to remember, and whoever I was, I want to know, too. I'm just fearful we both won't like who I used to be.", he sighed, but what did it matter? Perhaps, just maybe, he was still a joy to be around regardless and Yujin was afraid for nothing. Against all odds, he put his arm around Richard and pulled him close. "It'll get better, and I'll make sure you'll feel like that again. And I'll hold you accountable this time ... but for now, I think we both should sleep. Sound good?" Yujin closed his eyes and smiled, he ruffled through Richards hair. "And until we have it figured out, I'll protect you. I promise."

"I think it's too late for salve...", Richard mumbled, hugging Yujin. He said to many nice things, but in a way Richard wondered if he did that just because he didn't want Richard to cry. "I don't want to be alone... I just want you to live." He was fine on his own for a bit, he had plenty things to do after all and he'd been fine today too when Yujin went out with his friends. "I always liked you..." Richard was the one who changed so much. How could Yujin fall for the Richard of the past and also for him now? He was totally different after all. Richard nodded, sleep sounded good and he cuddled closer than he already was. Yujin was always so warm and not having him in his bed felt cold and empty. The blankets did only so much. Richard closed his eyes and tried to sleep. He was tired enough and Yujin had had a long day out as well, drinking and smoking and having fun. Richard slept through half the day, but he had little energy to spare anyhow.

The next day Richard joined Yujin with his training again, or rather he watched and ate a tiny breakfast, then walked a few rounds through the courtyard to get back some stamina at least, while Yujin trained with his father. As mostly Richard looked closely, imagining how he'd approach Muhan to beat him, his hand twitching slightly, remembering the feeling of a sword in his hand, but he never picked one up, nor did he ask if he could join. As he was now he wasn't strong enough for any of this and he wondered if he'd ever hold a sword again in the first place. Last time didn't work out very well. When Yujin was done he came over to Richard, sweaty and exhausted from the morning training and he usually took a bath after. Today Richard grabbed Yujins sleeve, he was determined to take another step today. "Can I... join...?", he asked him carefully. He was ready to show Yujin his body and how he changed. He gained some weight, but he was still very thin and pale. Well, he'd always been pale.

Yujin wasn't going to agonize about things that had to keep happening anyway - what he was, perpetually, quite on the fence about was whatever was happening around him and just how much of it was truly and surely going to be his responsibility. All in all, why did he bother with that? Richard was right, he was partially wrong, this was how these things went and he was going to sleep like a log regardless, was it not so? And yet, he was giggling like a little girl. "We'll figure that out ... and, you did? Careful now." Someone was going to hear that and spread rumors about the two of them, though, it was unlikely and neither of them were out and about doing anything right now, which also meant that no one would procure any gossip on the second prince and his mysterious lover that, for better or for worse, was loved so intensely by him, he'd one day scream it from the rooftops of his own castle, lest it would melt under the warmth of his affection. Yujin soon faded, his consciousness but a puzzle, left for his dreams to pick apart and his own mind to dissect. Whatever could one find in there? Probably an enigma and plethora of things, of colors he hardly even knew the name of, and yet, at the same time, nothing seemed as if it were impossible.

The next morning proved to be regular and nothing out of the ordinary happened - Yujin embarrassed himself in front of Muhan, and that was that, as if the two of them hadn't played that game five million times before. It was a tango, quite endless at best, and their back and forth proved to be quite the hardship. Revelry was something he hadn't earned, and skill wasn't something he was born with, thus, he worked on things he'd never considered before and chiseled away at them as if they would fix him, magically so, down to every waking moment that he spent with Richard. Was he ever going to get the hang of this? Yujin wasn't one to despair about it, but he was one to giggle and laugh whenever his father told him that he'd lost, or that his flank was wide open, and if this were a real fight, he'd be lying on the floor now, graveously injured, bleeding out. Still, he was spent, especially after he got in what he believed to be his own series of hits, only to be thrown back onto his ass and for his father to correct every bit of him - Muhan seemed like he was slightly on edge today, or perhaps just fed up with the lack of progression, and yet, it went over without much of a hitch. As he wiped the sweat off of his forehead with some cloth and was about to beeline for the baths, he was stopped in his tracks. Yujin looked at Richard, slightly confused, before he couldn't help it but start grinning. "Join me?", his voice was hushed, yet as elated as ever. "Always.", he laughed, and without even stopping, pulled Richard closer and shuffled off with him, to the baths. The moment he shut the giant doors behind them, he was sure to lock them, not because he himself wanted something, but rather for Richards own wellbeing, so nobody would spy. "You are sure you want this?", Yujin asked again, but he already was taking off his own clothing.

Yujin was happy and loud as ever and while Richard wanted to be pulled into all of that joy, he didn't quite manage to be, but he was still determined to follow him with a smile. They walked through the hallways and Richard wondered if he'd get cold feet, but he didn't, only literally, because this castle was way too cold outside of his room. The baths were the only other place he didn't shiver in and when they entered he enjoyed the humid air around them. Yujin closed the door, Richard appreciated it, overall he felt more save with every single door and window locked, especially when he wanted to do something like showing his scars and general weakened body. "Mhm.", Richard answered with a nod and then stepped further in, behind a paper wall that was supposed to obscure anyone changing in and out of clothes. "Can you... go on ahead?", he asked Yujin. He didn't mind seeing him naked and apparently Yujin didn't mind that either. He looked stronger than when they met, all that training showed.

Once Yujin ventured of into the hot water, Richard took a deep breath. He opened up the sash on his clothes and then let them drop to the floor. They were too big for him anyway so they slided right of. Richard barely looked at himself most of the time, this body felt foreign, as if it wasn't his and it was scary too. Suddenly his heart sank to his stomach, but he told himself that he was save and if it turned Yujin off, it'll be for the better and they could end all of this quickly. Yujin didn't need to pretend anymore and Richard didn't have to ask himself if this was right any longer. Eventually, without his clothes, he stepped out again and got into the bath as well, silently so. He moved forward a bit and despite the hot water, he still felt cold and hugged himself a bit. He reached Yujin and tabbed on his shoulder to make him aware that he was here now. Richard didn't even know what to say. He was just standing there waiting for a shocked or judgemental gaze, by just seeing his upper body a little bit, mostly emerged in water and it wasn't as bad as his back.

As things came and went, Yujin was still the same, like some sort of rock that was doomed to stand eternal guard at one of the entrances to hell, or whatever nonsensical place on could think of. Frankly, just sitting here, just biding his time, it all was a bit much, and the more he thought about it, the more he had to wonder if he'd ever get off of his own ass and go out, enjoy life like he didn't really know it and see the world for what it was. There were so many versions of himself he didn't know, and so many options that he never took that simply adhering to Richards words seemed enough. With all his clothing cast aside, he simply nodded. "Sure, take all the time you need!", he told the blonde, knowing that he would, regardless. Why not? In the end, the two of them meant something to each other and the one thing he could do, for the sake of everyone and then himself, was for Richard to feel comfortable in his own skin, by whatever means necessary that he needed to employ. Would he ever, though? Yujin dreaded to know, but he still sank into the hot water and scrubbed his body, even going as far as to submerge the entirety of his hair. A haircut was in order, not just for Richard, hm?

The warmth that enveloped him was good on his normaly icy skin; nautrally, he was warm and felt as such, but to others, his own exterior was probably burning hot for many reasons that could only be chalked down to his upbringing. Or was he just perpetually cold? Yujin didn't know, but he wondered precious little about his own state most of the time. Instead, he worried about others, which often turned out to be just in his own head, too. Still, why was he worried now? It wasn't about seeing Richard exposed like that, or the fear that he could have changed when Yujin didn't remember anything about him to begin with, but rather the fact that he could feel uncomfortable with the entire situation. At this point, he was so lost in thought that he failed to register that something was going on, that his surroundings changed ever so slightly and that someone paid him a well-earned visit. Yujin almost yelped when the ghastly cold hand touched him, even when it was coated in the warm water. "You scared me!", he laughed, before he even turned around - he had been so lost in thought that he'd even forgotten that he wasn't alone in here today. As cautious as ever - which, really, meant never in Yujins world - he turned around and gazed at Richard and whatever part of skin of his that he could see. Hm. "Well!" Yujin reached out, slowly so, and then pinched Richard in the side. "You could use some more food, but we'll get to that in due time.", he chuckled. But there wasn't any other reaction, let alone a negative one from him. Regardless, he eyed what he was presented with and hummed. "You have your qualms about all of this, but I don't see anything I don't like about you. To me, that's you, you know?" If there was anyone that would never judge anyone, at least not for things like these, it was Yujin - Richard was waiting for a reaction he'd never get.

Yujin jumped a bit when Richard touched him, before he even saw him. He turned around laughing and Richard looked at him apologetically. "Sorry...", he mumbled, kind of waiting for the verdict when Yujin looked him up and down. The touch, the pinch, he received was sudden and surprising. Of course Yujin wouldn't say or even think anything bad, but still, Richard wasn't so sure about this, but he also wouldn't just show everything else and rub it under his nose. "Are you sure...?" Yujin didn't remember how he looked before, this would be a shock to anyone else. His words seemed untrue however. "You don't need to lie to me." Yujin already told him that he was way too thin, in a way at least, but that wasn't all. His whole body was scared and generally Richard didn't even recognize himself. Richard stretched out his arm a bit, so he could look at it himself. It was scarred too and incredibly thin. He'd been more muscular than Yujin before all this, stronger and at least a bit more confident, but Yujin wouldn't know the difference.

Well this was awkward now. Richard just wanted to show Yujin and he wanted to learn how to feel comfortable around him again. Now that he stood there he didn't know what to do or say. He stepped forward a bit to sit down on the stone bench inside the water that ran around the edges of the pool. Yujins hair had always been incredibly long, but Richards hadn't been cut for a long time either. He pulled the strands closer that floated after him and started to brush through to get rid of any knots. It got increasingly harder the longer they got and his hair behaved differently to Yujins which just seemed to never get any knots at all. It flowed down his body like a black river and it was much heaver and sturdier than his. "I'm sorry...", Richard mumbled, evading Yujins gaze. He didn't really know what he was sorry for himself, maybe because all of this was just a bit weird, mostly because he himself was.

Richard was a bit of an oddball, was he not? Yujin loved to be with him, he loved to be around him, sure, but he also had to admit that sometimes, it was hard to gauge his reaction to things. "Why are you sorry?", he wanted to know. Yujin couldn't and wouldn't be disappointed over something like this; he didn't care about Richard because he needed help, he simply cared for him because the two of them belonged together, didn't they? "I am." There was giggling from him, and even if he saw the disappointment in Richards face, Yujin didn't care much - he'd lied, maybe just a little, but it wasn't because he was scared of his own reaction. Did he really not care for anyone besides himself? No, that was hardly it, and it became apparent that something else bothered him, if only for the second that he thought about it - Richard hadn't always looked like this, scars aside, he simply was frail and Yujin was left to wonder if he had to wrap him into fifty blankets and keep him cooped up until he finally developed some sort of appetite. Would he? No, Richard surely wouldn't want that. "I'm not lying. I'm just sad I can't help you more.", he sighed, but it was the truth. There was no space or need for any lies on both of their behalfs, regardless of the mood they were in. Yujin wanted nothing more than to help Richard, but he feared that the cost of that would be quite great - and that he'd be unable to pay it.

As Richard trailed away, he watched him, looked at him and gauged whatever or not he was welcome with the reaction he ilicited or not; it was incredibly hard to figure out sometimes, and as much as the young wolf would like to be prepared for moments like these, he simply wasn't and he doubted he'd ever really be. "What for?", he asked, adamant to make things right. In the end, he even came closer and sat down next to where Richard had nestled himself, curiously combing through his hair. Yujin reached out for his hand that was stuck inbetween so many strands and meticiously combing through them - he brushed over them, softly. "You don't have to be. Showing me all of that takes courage, and I'm glad you did." Without any warning, he clutched Richards hand between two of his own, it was a proper and firm clasp. "Would you ... let me see all of them?", Yujin asked, his voice hushed, as if somebody could hear them at any moment, but his grasp soft and sweet. "If you don't want to, that's fine. I ... would you mind if I touched them? Or am I only allowed to look?" Yujin had so many questions, not just because he had held back earlier, but also because he didn't want for Richard to feel like all that he showed off wasn't appreciated. And yet ... his gaze was avoided, was it not? Instead of just sitting there, Yujin reached up, let go of Richards hand and grabbed the back of his head - he slowly bumped it into his own, their foreheads and noses touching. Then, he giggled. "You don't have to feel bad. Or sad. I know, this is a lot, but ... I still care for you, and I love you as you are, even if you don't want to hear it." Again, he reached for one of Richards hands. "Richard, I love you and I like every part of you, even if you don't want me to see or touch it, you know that?"

"I didn't want to scare you.", Richard answered, trying to figure out what Yujin really thought. It was impossible and maybe Yujin was totally fine with all this, but for some time he was awfully quiet too and that was unlike him. "Help me more?", he eventually asked and shook his head. "You're helping me more than you could imagine... you should have seen me back home and when I arrived here I didn't even talk for weeks..." Richard would have never admitted it to himself, but he did make progress and he was better now. He only noticed because he wanted to cheer Yujin up but it didn't make it any less true. Yujin just being himself, being cheery and friendly and loving, that all was enough for Richard to start talking and eating again. He even kind of trained a little bit, even if he was only trying to get some stamina back by walking in circles. He hadn't moved or eaten in Myriad at all and the journey on the ship to Silesse was even worse, but coming here was probably the best choice for him.

Richard carefully looked up a bit, through his long hair that was everywhere at this point. "I... just... it felt awkward...", Richard mumbled, but was even more startled when Yujin suddenly grabbed his hand. He suddenly had so many questions and Richard wasn't quite sure how to answer them. He wanted to show him more, but suddenly this got a lot more real. Yujin again startled and snapped him out o his spiraling thoughts however, when he was just the loving idiot he always was. When he heard him spout all that none sense and told Richard he loved him not only once, but twice, Richard felt his head getting red and tears forming in his eyes. He believed Yujin, he wanted to at the very least and he felt like he would start to cry any moment now. Richard didn't want to cry in front of Yujin, although he had done it many times before, but this was just different and somehow embarrassing. He swallowed deeply and turned around on the stone bench, kneeling on it sideways and presenting his back, but first and foremost he hid his face and to not make his state too obvious he just beckoned Yujin to focus on anything else but Richards face. "Fine, look.", he quickly let out almost a bit sassy, just like when they met.

“You’d never scare me.” Nothing about Richard would. To Yujin, Richard was nothing more than someone he loved, someone that wasn’t capable of hurting anyone like him. The two of them had been ordained by the goddess of fate to be together and stay together forever, wasn’t it so? “Now that you mention it, I’m glad that you’ve grown so much already.”, Yujin murmured with a smile. Richard was still hiding in his shell, one that was battered and bruised and beaten, one that wouldn’t protect him forevermore, but even then, he used it, because it had served him well before. Yujin was, without a doubt, just helping him get out of there - he loved watching it, every step of the way, and if Richard was happy, so was he. Stuff like this was important, not just to him, and not just so he’d feel better about himself. “I want to be here for you, for as long as I can … I want to drag you places at some point. We did that a lot before, no?” Even now, his heart was swelling at the thought of experiencing another adventure - he wanted to do that, with Richard, and if it took years from now on, Yujin would gladly wait. Just for him. If time was all Richard needed, then he’d offer him that, alongside much needed comfort.

“Stuff like that’s always awkward!” Truly, it was. Unfortunately, nobody could drain that from the things that happened, or the situations they found themselves in and all he could do was hope that it worked out. Yujin smiled ever so softly and tilted his head a bit; he wanted Richard to relax, be less tense and lean back and to simply enjoy himself in the warm water. Those scars held meaning to him, they were important, in the worst ways, and Yujin was to see them for what they were - he’d honor them as part of Richard, much like anything else. A giggle escaped him as he was allowed to. “Huh? Are you getting sassy?”, Yujin teased. He put his hands on Richards shoulders, firmly, and then reached for his hair, put it over his shoulder and looked at his entire back. His gaze was testing the waters, and once he felt as if he’d taken it all in, he started touching the scars, almost delicately- he traced them, but didn’t scrutinize them; to him, they were interesting and painful at the same time. Regardless of that, this was Richard, huh? This had always been Richard. “Everything alright?” No. For that, he knew the blonde a bit too well, and Yujin also knew that he’d sucked at talking about his feelings, even back then. Softly, he wrapped his arms around Richard and put his chin on the blondes shoulder, looking over. “You’re still yourself to me.”, he reassured him. “I’m here for you. And I still like you all the same, scars or no scars.”

"Startle you then...", he mumbled. Grown though? Has he really? Yes, he just admitted it himself, even though it felt like it went way too slowly and he'd never be fully fixed. He felt terrible at home and the doctors in Adrestia didn't help at all. Dayan wasn't either, if he was completely honest. He didn't get the issue, he was mad at Nayantai for no reason and maybe he was mad at Richard for abandoning him like he did. He seemed to care mostly about himself and that red-haired snake and when he decided to send Richard back to Silesse, he still knew nothing about Yujin. He just knew that he gifted him something that he carried around all this time. Was that enough to send his brother away somewhere else? It felt hardly fair, yet also deserved somehow. He was happy here, but he doubted that Dayan knew he would be. Why had he changed like that? Richard didn't think that if he ever saw him again, they'd be seperated a day in their life, but even in the castle Dayan seemed so far away from him. Now he was king and Richard was not. Was this for the better? Was Richard angry?

"Yeah... you dragged me to the den to meet your friends." And to that place where he had that so called accident, though in that case Richard dragged him there, kind of. Richard felt weird whenever his thoughts started to wander. Whether he pitied himself, was scared of his own shadow or angry at Dayan, he just got more and more questions and not a single answer. Yujins arms around him felt nice and he wished that he could just accept this and think about nothing. Was he ever able of doing so? Even when they first met Richard was in his head all the time and he could only enjoy anything, when he got obsessed with something, whether that was getting revenge, or finding out what really happened to Yujin, or if he just lost himself in his touches in either of their beds. Richard let Yujin move his hair away, look at all the scars and he tensed up a bit when he touched them. Richard hadn't looked at them in a long time, but he doubted it looked any good. He let out a small sigh as he put his hand on Yujins arm and leaned against him too. "I know... and you're an idiot for meaning it.", he mumbled. The warm air made him a bit tired, even though it was still morning. "I love you..."

Yujin smiled at Richard - he looked at him and wondered what went on behind that unimaginably thick skull of his, concluding that it couldn’t be anything of use to him, after all, what would he gain from peering into his cranium? The wolf chuckled at the thought, knowing well enough that Richards synapses probably went places they shouldn’t; he’d seen and witnessed too much, had pain that he needed to deal with and things that he ought to forget at some point in his life, even if today wasn’t the time for that. Perhaps forgetting, too, was the wrong idea entirely - who knew if they couldn’t just try and take a look at his issues together, and then figure out something, hand in hand, as if that was necessary at all. Richard would have pushed him away in the past, called him an idiot, demanded he be less up in someone elses business, wouldn’t he? “Huh, I did, didn’t I … hm, well, I’ll drag you there again once we figure this thing out!” One step outside would mean the world was opening up again, but they had all the tome in the world to at least try - having Richard in the courtyard already helped as some sort of baby steps.

His hands were always adept at figuring out some weak spots on other people, but with Richard, it was all the same - he simply liked having him close and thus, he did. Yujin was overjoyed to know him closer again, willing to share himself as well; he was growing out of the shell that he’d forced himself into. “Your idiot.”, he giggled. That much was obvious, no? After all, the two of them, they were supposed to be together - they always were, at least in his recent memories - and now, why, they were still. Was there anything that could change that? Lots of things Yujin didn’t want to think about, not now. In the end, he was but a slave to his own desires after all and most of them correlated with Richard and how he perceived him; he enjoyed that. He smiled, softly so, as he was met with affection and words that set his heart ablaze, that made it flutter in his very chest. When was the last time this had happened? Yujin giggled. “That means the world to me.” What an obvious statement. “I love you too.” Richard felt snug, pressed against his own skin like that - the two of them, were they not each others missing puzzle piece? “I’m glad to have you back.”

"I know. I'll be able to go there eventually, I know it... with you everything seems possible. Thank you for being patient.", Richard blurted out. He loved Yujin so much it almost hurt. What would he do without him? Die probably. Instead he was eating again, his sleep felt better, even though he was still having nightmares, but he was out in the courtyard, he learned to write Thrian and speak Silessian, he even itched to pick up a sword again when he watched Yujin and Muhan train together. He wanted to do so many things, but he had to stop himself, listen to his own boundaries. There would be a right time for everything and he knew he couldn't force anything. Even though thoughts of Yujin touching him, or the other way around snuk into his head more frequently, he knew he wasn't ready quite yet, not for anything but a hug. This was already progress and it felt good, it also meant he could spend more time with Yujin and didn't have to be in this giant bath all on his own anymore.

Richard got out of this very enjoyable hug, only to turn around and put his arms around Yujin. He didn't deserve Yujins love and yet he got it. It made absolutely no sense for him being this kind and patient, but it didn't scare Richard, not at all, he believed every single word he said. "I missed you... and this..." Even from the moment he left, he already missed Yujin, but his drive for revenge had been stronger, regrettably so. He missed Yujin and he missed feeling his arms around him, his hot and soft skin that always warmed him up. He missed being cold all the time, to the point it almost hurt when Yujin touched his skin, making him burn up. He wanted more of this, he was greedy, but he knew it wasn't yet time. Today he just wanted to hug him, and be held closely and he felt so much better about his body already. There was no need to awkwardly hide anymore now, was there?

“There’s no need to thank me for that! Just know that I’m there for you and I’ll give you all the time you need, but I’ll help you heal, too.”, the wolf announced proudly, with a smile plastered on his face. Richard was someone he never would want to let go off, wasn’t he? Every waking moment he didn’t spend by his side felt lonely, as if they were attached by the hip, or maybe even a red thread of fate - there was no way for him to get out now; good thing he didn’t want it. What did it mean if he never wanted to let go ever again? Yujin couldn’t say, but he knew that it was love, deep down, if even a bit much of it, a smidge or so. “I’m never letting you leave again, you hear? If you do, you better take me with you. And if I leave, I’ll take you with me. That’s a promise.” At this point, he felt wholly warm, not just because of the steaming water they were bathing in, or their skin-to-skin contact, but because this felt fulfilling, in essence almost freeing. Yujin had missed Richard, lots, and now, it felt as if he was getting some piece of him back.

By now, he could leave, say it had been too much or enough, but he didn’t - not at all. Richard came back for more and Yujin gingerly returned the gesture, careful not to trap him in his arms, but tight enough to make him see that he was there, without the need for words. “So did I. I’m glad to have it … no, you, back.”, he admitted, as they stayed like this for what seemed to be a long while, before Yujin found himself rubbing Richards back gently - he pressed their foreheads together and peered deep into those brown eyes, as if he were to infer anything from such actions. They had a bunch of talks about those, too, hadn’t they? No harm was done, not then, not now, not when they were intertwining their very beings like this. Dreamily, the wolf prince sighed, only to chuckle after - if Richard wouldn’t have come back by chance, they’d never have felt anything like this again. That ice cube that he was holding onto, as cool and relaxing as it was, Yujin knew he was making it melt bit by bit, steadily, carefully trying not to break anything. “I can hardly wait.”, he chuckled. “But I’ll wait for you.”

This hug felt good, Richard needed this and he missed Yujins touch. Why did he wait so long or this? It was stupid really, but it was probably right. He didn't want to have any bad feelings towards Yujin, not because he himself rushed things and couldn't stop the panic or fear. This was good, he wasn't panicking nor was he afraid, but he wasn't sure about anything else yet. He liked being caressed though, even if his skin felt mostly numb, missing feeling on some spots completely, others tickling weirdly in spots Yujin didn't even touch and others just feeling as if he was touched through ten layers of clothing. He would never feel normally again, but that was fine. Nayantai must have felt the same for all his life, now that he thought about it. "I don't want to leave your side, promise.", he mumbled, closing his eyes for a while. They stood there like this quite a bit and Richard enjoyed every second of it. He knew Yujin was probably wanting more and maybe he even remembered things, just like Richard fondly remembered their time together, but he knew Yujin would never betray his trust and he'd always ask first. Richard felt save.

After a while Richard slowly let go and looked at Yujin with a soft smile. "Maybe we should get out. I'm all wrinkly and the hot air is getting to my head.", he told him. As nice as it was, they couldn't stay here forever. He needed to get rid of Yujin eventually too, so he could work in making that talsiman for him without him noticing. Otherwise he still wanted to learn to read and write Thrian and to learn Silessian. Yujin liked to help with those anyway, although he surely had better things to do, not that he had many responsibilities around here. Still, he had fun with his friends yesterday at the den too and Richard didn't want to deny him a drink and a social life. He was fine on his own. He found plenty of things to do around here and he tended to be much more tired than Yujin too, so he needed a nap anyway, unlike his friend. He always had so much energy...

There wasn’t a single dull moment in this castle of ice ever since Richard came back - Yujin was glad that he did, he truly was, but every moment that he spent with him felt like a second longer that he savored something he hadn’t been able to touch upon for forever. Wasn’t it almost strange? So many things happened, and yet, precious few of them were actually going to be … he didn’t want to think about it that way. Whether or not he’d forget something from now on, he’d have to figure that out himself and it wasn’t like he consciously planned on it, either. Just being here, with Richard, right now, was better than anything - it already helped so much and had him grinning from ear to ear through every moment, here and there, until his expression softened up again. He had needed this, all of that reassurance, deep down at the very least, hadn’t he?

“Hot? You’re always hot.”, Yujin joked, but he knew that Richard barely meant it in terms of attractiveness. Soft robes were in order and Yujin, ever the one to drag Richard back out of this puddle, was quick to put him in some that he thought would fit. Everything seemed so loose on Richard currently, even when he was starting to slowly fill all the clothes back out - at least that was good progress, besides, he also started to seem more energetic, which was a good thing. Yujin got dressed himself not soon after and then, eager as ever, held Richards hand, fingers intertwined, and walked out of the bathroom with him, back up to their very much shared room. In the end, it still looked somewhat bleak in here, didn’t it? Richard made this room less depressing for sure - Yujin raised his hand to his lips, gave it a soft peck and then let go of it. “How about I go find you some plants for our room? There’s some that might grow even here! And if not, I can bring you some snow and we build tiny snowmen instead?”, he suggested, jesting about. Would he, truly? Yujin could. For now, though, he simply stood there and smiled at Richard. “I would spend the entire day in bed cuddling with you if I could.”

Yujin could be such an idiot, but Richard didn't scold him, he just smiled. He was helped out and didn't mind a helping hand getting dressed. At this point Yujin always picked Richards wardrobe and Richard was fine with it as long as he was somewhat warm. He never truly was feeling hot in Silesse, but he at least wasn't freezing outside of bed. Together they walked back up to Richards room, with the fire still burning as always. Sometimes servants came to deliver more wood, mostly Yujin brought it in and Richard made sure the fire didn't go out himself often enough. This room wasn't incredibly warm, but definetly warmer than all the others. The hut had been warmer than this though, since the room had been much smaller with the same size of fire. He kind of missed that hut and his father, but he couldn't even go there right now. He was too scared to leave the castle and he'd need a lot more time to get over that. It was stupid probably, but who knew how far Olettes hands reached.

He received a kiss and smiled at Yujin too, looking at him holding his hand. "Plants? I... I'd actually like that. I doubt any in our hut survived... and I doubt tomatoes would grow here. They don't have to be edible anyway, but I'd really like it. Something to care for and make grow?" Some green would do good in here too. He didn't know if there was any pretty flowers that would survive here either, but he was willing to try make them grow. He still smiled pressing down on Yujins hand a bit. "I know, but you surely have somethings to do and I have some things to do alone too." A secret, one Yujin couldn't know about until Richard was done. He didn't know how much longer it would take, he started over a lot of times, because he sucked at carving. He never did it before, so it was no surprise. Maybe he could ask Muhan for help? No, he wasn't sure if Muhan and Shuren approved of this...

The wolf snickered - Richard hadn’t changed much. In the end, he was still the same, still easy to charm and still so easy to rile up, even if he’d mellowed out a ton. This was everything that Yujin wanted and something that they both had always aimed for, wasn’t it? Neither of them were ever really alone, as long as they could think of the other - and Yujin loved to spend his time away from Richard by thinking about him and the many things he could do to him once they met again. All of this was simple work for a simple, silly man. “Something green would look nice, or just any color, really - I know it’s cushy and cozy, but you keep this place warmer than the rest of the castle ever has been anyway, so I figured, un, why not use it to your advantage, too?” If plants would blossom somewhere, it most definitely would he in this here place, as silly as it might seem to assume - it was the best shot they had, as long as they went nowhere else. Yujin wouldn’t mind a move, though.

“Mhm. I’ll go see if there’s some seeds left in the hut, if you’d like. Actually …” Did he even know where that thing stood? Yujin could fathom, but only so far and he could assume it hadn’t moved or changed at all, at least unless someone robbed that empty thing of whatever it still had left. Would it even be right for him to go there? Good question. Perhaps it would feel a little awkward and odd to step in there and face remnants of the past, presumably and eventually. “Should I look or bring you anything from there? I think I can manage unless you want an entire bed, or fifty of the floorboards. Anything I can carry is fine, whatever it is.”, he suggested to Richard. It ought to help him to have something that gave him stability and Yujin only had so many things that he could think of that would encompass these things. “I know that, but letting to of you is always hard.”, Yujin chuckled, then squeezed Richards hand back. Would they ever reach an agreement on any of this? Right now, it seemed more like an endless back and forth.

"I think our hut was warmer... but maybe I'm just cold more easily, I don't know. I bet the temperatures down at the bath are better, but there is no sunlight, so I don't think they'd grow there either... I'd also need some pots. Do you even have pots?" Nobody around here grew flowers, or other plants, at least not that Richard was aware, so pots were not needed around here. Maybe Shuren grew some, Yujin said he makes medicine himself and he had to use some plants for it. He wondered how that place looked like, if it existed. Maybe he just bought already pressed and dried leaves and such from Adrestia, or the Thrians further east. "There also might be some soil left in the hut... I'd need that too. The cold might have destroyed it though." Richard wasn't sure if it kept the needed nutrients inside if it froze over. He was never into gardening, he only tried what he saw in their own gardens or read in some book.

"We didn't take much when we left... there might still be some clothes, even though I don't think they'd fit me... all my hankerchiefs should still be there too, but I don't really need any of that... the rest of the bears hide should be there too... the one I killed for that coming of age thing..." It was weird to think about. He was capable of something like that, even went to talk to the elders. It felt impossible for his current selve. Would he ever heal enough to be able to do that again? Richard smiled at Yujin. "I won't run away. I'll still be here when you come back." That was a promise. Leaving Yujin like he did was the worst mistake in his life and he paid a steep price for it. He wouldn't leave him behind again and besides, he wasn't ready to leave this place anyway. There was nowhere else he could go to.