bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

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    • "But ... uh, we aren't really picky, you're right about that." Richard was fundamentally different and had been raised with other values, but even then, he sure was as much as a part of Thria as Yujin himself, and they both carried similar, silessian blood in their veins. However, all of that thinking made his pretty, drug-influenced head hurt and while he thought about the pipe in the den, he fumbled a bit with the one he held, before putting it on the nightstand, reaching back in the process and awkwardly putting it there to get closer to Richard, who was so warm and comforting at this point, he couldn't help but stare into his eyes before he buried his face in the blondes chest for a short while, doing nothing but rubbing said face against it, for whatever reason. "You're warm.", he blurted out, and yes, he was right, Richard was hot, especially to someone like him, but it wasn't bad, in fact, Yujin liked the difference it made and the warmth that rose in his cheeks, too. "What?", he blurted, looking up from his newfound cuddling position. His hands didn't move towards Richards ass, he wouldn't dare, but he clicked his tongue. "Wow, never picked up anyone like that. Did I meet your expectations?", he giggled, not sure if it was a masterful feat that he had attempted or if he was simply sleeping around too much back then and Richard was just the tip of the iceberg - Yujin couldn't recall. "Someday is fine, too."

      Things had changed, not only between the two of them but between everyone else and Richard, too. Right now, he was but a shadow of his former self, something that Yujin was unable to discern, not knowing what his so-called, newfound beloved had been before all of this, but he remembered his feelings for him, not a picture in his head, and he stayed true to those. "Can I see that garden someday? ... hm, I have a better idea. Are there any flowers that bloom during winter in Adrestia?" Stupid and silly, nothing more, but Yujin imagined all the plants they could put into their room and the colorful explosion they would cause, once they bloomed for real. In his time, he hadn't seen many of them, but the ones he saw were mainly pictures in books or paintings on walls; Silesse offered nothing, except some comfort, knowing nobody could make their way to the end of the world and few were able to survive the harsh climate. "I trust you, too. I always will.", he admitted, and for once, that answer seemed rather genuine and less drug-induced. "Scared? Pah! The only thing I'm scared of is myself when I look in the mirror because I'm so handsome!" That wasn't it at all, but even then, he laughed gleefully about something so stupid, it almost hurt to think about. Yujin knew, for better or for worse, that he was making jokes left and right for both of them. "I had fun with them! But you also deserve some fun, and ... I mean ... I ... I love you, you know?", he mumbled, still grinning like an idiot about it and making a kissing gesture into Richards direction, as if he was urging him to catch that air kiss and take it to bed with him, as if it were a prolonged longing for someone too far away. "Roasted meat? That's simple but delicious! And ... hm, I think I like dumplings. Especially with some nice fillings, hmmm, I think prawn? And yes, lots of spices!" Not that he knew anything else and while Richard would probably gasp for air not long after ingesting one, Yujin wished that he could share something as delectable as that with him, just to make him see how good it all was. "Your Highness, I've brought food.", a voice spoke from the door, seconds after having knocked twice. "I'm coming!", Yujin simply declared and wistfully grasped Richards hand before letting go and trailing off and stumbling out of bed. As he opened the door, the servant looked at him like he'd seen a ghost, looking at the prince's disheveled clothing and undone hairtie. "Pardon the intr-", he stammered, and Yujin scratched the back of his head. "Huh? It's fine, we were waiting for the food anyway. Thank you, you may go now.", he told him with a nod, taking the two bowls in his own hand before bringing them back to the bed. It seemed to be some congee, or at least fairly wet rice with a few pieces of meat and some eggs, for both of them. "Oh, look!", he suddenly exclaimed, showing their food to Richard. "Not soup!" Well, in a sense, congee was soup - but it came with spoons, at least.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Yujin came a bit closer. Richard didn't mind it, they cuddled all the time, but he was still sure that Yujin wished for something more than just cuddling and an occasional kiss. He didn't expect Yujin to be as rash or desperate as to still try anything and force Richard to tell him a definite no, which he hadn't until this point, but Yujin was young and he wanted some fun. It was only natural and completely fine. Richard felt himself at fault for not being able to open up completely and for being scared of throwing himself into a situation of which he didn't know how he'd react. Of course he loved Yujin and of course he knew that sleeping with him had always been good, if not his saving grace when he was in a very much different but equally destructive headspace. He did overreact before though and right after he honestly thought about jumping out of that damn window. He hurt Yujin as well, sending him out as if he had done something wrong, which he didn't. He didn't hurt Richard, he didn't force himself on him, he did nothing wrong and was only punished, because Richard was a broken mess. "I think it's just the room that's warm...", Richard mumbled and in reality he probably should have not fallen asleep on the spot and pull a blanket or ten over himself. This room was warmer than others in the castle, but the fact that the floor and walls didn't melt said enough. "I had fun back then. You too I think. Actually it was always pretty wild...", Richard explained and after a short while of hesitation added more. "I know you don't want to hear that, but... I wouldn't mind you having some fun with someone else, you know?", Richard spoke carefully. He didn't want to offend Yujin.

      000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 <- lucy

      "When I'm better, maybe I can bring you there.", Richard replied and then shook his head. "My father invented something like a little house for plants, so farmer ins Fhaergus - it is very cold there in winter - can grow crops then too. Other than that, no and it's nowhere near as cold as here." Though his little plant survived next to the fire thus far. "You could... visit the hut I lived in before. The plants there are probably dead... but maybe you can find some seeds. I can try and grow them, though those are not exactly flowers.", Richard suggested. He wondered what Yujin would say to a fresh tomato, they had tomatoes here too, but they were mostly dried. "I don't deserve that trust.", Richard answered with a short sigh. "I left you, remember? I didn't say a word." That had been cruel and stupid too. All Yujin had left was that scarf and the pillow. Richard shouldn't have done that, he knew that and he regretted it, yet only since he landed in that cellar, so even his regret was selfish. "You were scared of many things... but you changed.", Richard replied as if they were having an honest and grown up conversation even though Yujin was drunk and making stupid jokes. Richard didn't have it in him to joke along and whenever Yujin told him that he loved him it felt good, but also like a thousand daggers were pushed into Richards chest. "I love you too...", he mumbled unsure of if he ever said that before. It hurt, somehow and the change of topic as well as the knock on the door were welcome. After Yujin got up Richard sat up too and he stretched his back a little, feeling his skin holding him back and keeping him from some movements. He wasn't sure if some ointment would make that better. The words at the door were hard to understand but also unimportant for Richard, he simply waited until Yujin came over with their food which didn't consist of just soup this time. Richard smiled as he took his bowl, but also get a hold of his medication first, before he did anything else. "Maybe the breakfast I shouldn't have had proved that I'm ready for a bit more."

    • He put Richards bowl on his nightstand before doing the same with his own, just on the other side of the bed, watching the blonde take the medication that he needed and for a second he wondered if he should take his own; however, they had agreed on not doing that and Yujins mind felt clearer and less foggy overall, which was why he didn't feel quite inclined to even give his medicine a second thought for a few days in a row now. "You're wholly warm too, I like that. And you smell nice." It was good that they could share clothes - whenever one of them would wind up in a set that was primarily worn by the other, they were in for a good smelling surprise and Yujin found it somewhat cute to drape Richard in his colors, in something that fit yet was too big for a few reasons, but even then, they looked good on him. "Pretty wild? Isn't that what two dumb young men are supposed to be?" They were, but the few instances Yujin recalled, he couldn't quite pinpoint on a specific location just yet, but ... "Hm, when we first went to the den, you ate some candied fruit, right?" It wasn't to Yujins taste, he never took any, but it served as a good snack when there wasn't anything else. However, Yujin was the one with a castle as a home and plenty of servants that would jolt awake, even in the dead of the night, to prepare a feast for anyone who asked. "Hey, Richard, look at me."

      Yujin felt taken aback, maybe disgusted by the thought of touching another - of touching someone like Yin, that loomed over his head like a death sentence for whenever Richard would find out - when all he wanted was to lay his fingers back onto the blonde at some point. "I'm not interested in that. All I care about is you, and if you need time, I will give you all the time in the world. I love you, I don't need to fuck you. Or anyone, for that matter." Sure, there were times when he probably felt kind of desperate, but even then, ones own hand could be the best companion anyone had ever asked for. Mentioning that felt unneeded, despite his intoxicated mind - and the food smelled good, which made his mouth water at this point. "I'd like that! And ooooh, why don't we have that here already? Probably ... oh, right. Silesse is ice on ice. No earth or farmable soil. You know, you're like a splash of color in this bleak world.", Yujin smiled and he meant it, but even then, he stripped out of one layer, letting the fabric fall to the floor. He still wore three more, it was fine, but it was warm in here, not just Richard or the bed, Yujin wouldn't mind sleeping in what silessians dubbed underwear. "I wanted to go there anyway, seems like I've got more to pick up, then! Maybe I'll find some dirty Richard secrets!", Yujin crooned, and he was still very much out of it, though, even if it weren't flowers, he wouldn't mind venturing to that old, musty hut tomorrow instead of making his way back into the den, with all the things it had to offer and all the gripes he had with it. "You do. You left me, but I asked you to come back, right? Now, you're back, you kept your word. And also, even if I can't recall it all, you're trusting me too, aren't you?" In fact, Richards trust in him was the misplaced one, not the other way around. Awfully apparent was, what it was, but Yujin still smiled. "I'm still scared of many. I don't like being alone in the darkness, and I'm not a fan of snowstorms ... but I suppose I've changed. Did you like the old me more?" Whoever that was, it didn't matter - Yujin already beamed when he heard those three little words and his lips started to hurt from all the grinning. His heart pounded and throbbed, and his interest was with Richard. "I like the way that sounds." But it roused something within Yujin, something that made his eyes all teary - he wiped them away with his sleeves. "Praise be my sneaky dad. Hm, do you know how to eat congee?" With a spoon, duh.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "You're the one warm like a little oven.", Richard smiled back at Yujin. Whenever he was cold he just needed to cuddle with him, it had always been like that. When they went out to that certain place and slept in a tent, Richard was incredibly cold, but not when he was able to touch Yujins skin and cuddle up to him. He liked that actually, very much so, as well as today when he hugged Yujin in the bath, even though the circumstances had been wrong and he felt embarrassed about it. It wasn't like Richard didn't want Yujin close, he was just worried that it wouldn't end well, because all things lately seemed to trigger him. Even now when Yujin spouted a throwaway comment in a joking way, talking about how young men were supposed to be, it kind of hurt Richard, because he wasn't that anymore. He wasn't sho he was supposed to be and he couldn't change it. He simply smiled and answered to the next topic. "Yes. I hadn't eaten all day, which was probably why I got drunk very quickly.", he nodded, Yujin remembered again, that was good. Then Richard looked at Yujin as requested, puzzled at that.

      "Are you sure...?", Richard asked carefully, averting his gaze again. He still felt bad about it all. "Back then it was pretty much all we did. Because I didn't want more than that for a long time I guess and now I force you to just take the opposite. It's not fair.", he slowly spoke his mind and he truly meant it. If only he could give himself a push, maybe if they smoked a little, it would be alright. No freakouts. Richard swallowed down a sigh and instead grabbed his bowl of... whatever it was that he got to eat today. "Blonde is not exactly a vibrant color.", Richard smiled, but at least it was different. Blue eyes were too, but the color itself was everywhere in Silesse. "Secrets...? I didn't own much to begin with. You might find a coat of yours though.", he admitted. He remembered keeping that one for a while. First Yujin just forgot it, but Richard didn't want to give it back at some point. "I trust you. You were always honest to me. Too honest sometimes. I didn't know what to do with all those feelings you threw my way back then." He almost broke up with him, only to make a deal they both broke soon after. "I... hm. I don't know... back then I wanted to be strong and at some point I took pride in protecting you. Now it's different. We both changed. I don't think I can compare that." Maybe Richard was way too honest and logical while Yujin was drunk and high, giggling and wanting to have fun. That didn't change, Richard had always been like that, even back in Myriad. "Don't cry...", Richard mumbled, putting one hand off of his bowl and instead grabbed one of Yujins hands to squeeze it. Then the blonde looked at what he got as food today. How to eat it? It was some form of broth, or was there a specific ritual to it or something. "Uhm...?"

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    • "Am I? I mean, I know I'm really hot, but why, thank you.", he chuckled, even though it was more of an attempt to flirt with Richard than it was anything else. He could have done better, Yujin knew that, but he also knew that for one reason or the other, he found Richard immensely attractive still, and he wanted to reassure him that he was his, in every single way, and that he didn't prefer anyone else. Thus, he'd rather be the blondes little oven, even though he was convinced that he wasn't hot this time around, no. "And I lulled you in. My bad, but I didn't think you'd ever open up if I didn't do something fun with you. You were all grumpy and mad, and I figured, maybe I can loosen that expression a bit - buuuut, it went a bith more south than expected. You were very cute, even if you never wanted to hear that." Something had dragged itself out of the deeper parts of Yujins brain, but given that it hadn't been too long since then, the memory could've only been surpressed and it was rather crisp in the back of his mind. Even then, he thought about Richard almost daily for a long while, until he faded from his memories for a bit too long, but now, he had him back and that was all that mattered.

      "Yes, I'm sure.", Yujin nodded and while his mind was not the same as it'd be in a sober state, he was fairly certain that he didn't have any urge to fuck around and find out for himself. "Back then, I wanted you to love me, too. You never really admitted to it, but now you did, and honestly, that's much more commitment than before. I don't mind, and if it takes years, I don't mind either. Richard, you are worth so much more than me than just someone I let off steam with. You'd not have asked to sleep with me either if I was in your position now, would you?" Yujin would have said yes, most likely, but that didn't mean Richard had to feel bad, or needed to offer himself up. It was true that maybe, he sometimes missed the intimate closeness that lingered on his mind, all ghastly and faded, but even then, they cuddled plenty and Yujin hadn't been overcome by an urge just once. "You look like the sun. My own personal sun, for when the skies are gray.", he nodded, and as he did, brushed through some of Richards hair, marbling at it, at the foreign and unfamiliar color, and at the fact that he'd never seen anyone like that before, no. Richard was special in more than one way, at least to Yujin. "A coat? Did someone like me a bit too much?", he giggled, in on the joke all of a sudden. "Did it help you sleep?" Right now, Yujin was able to calm Richard down if he had a bad dream, but he never had been able to prevent it - night terrors were frequent in this room, and yet, he pushed through, even when he felt beat in the mornings sometimes. "Do you know what to make of them now?" Neither of them did and both of them had changed, but even then, Yujin loved Richard all the same, as he always would and never could deny. Hope was not lost on either of them, yet the irony of their actions were, that no matter what, they gravitated back towards one another, almost as if invisible chains held them in place. "That's fine. I'm just glad you still like me, all the same. And also, I feel safe with you. Always have, always will." Yujin looked up and at the hand that held his own, only to smile back at Richard. "I ... won't. It just means a lot to me to hear that. I love you, lots.", he spoke with a smile, much less erratic and softer than before, only to squeeze the blondes hand in return. Oh, how he loved him indeed. "See, you take the spoon." Yujin grabbed his own to elaborate, then took a piece of meat from his own bowl and brought it up to his mouth to blow on it, before offering it to Richard. "And then feed your Richard." His Richard, huh?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "You're such an idiot...", Richard chuckled with a big smile on his face. Was that the first time since he came here that he chuckled? It might have been, maybe it was the first time he chuckled in front of Yujin without being drunk too, but he was sure there were other occasions? No, mostly he grunted in amusement if he did anything. Either way, Yujin blew those memories and negative thoughts out the window by just being himself. By joking and not pitying Richard all the time, by remembering yet not remembering who he had been and by making clear that it didn't matter who he was now. Richard was so grateful for him, he didn't deserve him, but he had Yujin and he saved him twice. never quite fully, but this time Richard wanted to believe that it would work out in the end. he wouldn't run away again, he didn't want to say goodbye, he wanted to stay with Yujin, the only person who unmistakably was still on his side. Even after finding out what Nayantai did, even after being used by Aramis and discarded by his own brother, he was sure, that Yujin was different and that he could always rely on him. Richard didn't stop smiling. Yujin remembered more and more and he was right. The blonde nodded, everything he said was true and he chuckled because of the maybe unintentional joke. There was a fuzzy feeling in Richards chest, far less relief than when he saw Yujin again and more true, more only about Yujin and not their circumstances. He almost felt like crying himself now, but he didn't. "I truly love you.", he reiterated, he felt it had to be said again.

      Even after Richard said those words again, Yujin didn't stop being the best person in the whole world that treated Richard far too good. Richard wasn't sure how he would act if he was in Yujins position, but he was sure that he wouldn't be as nice and loving even though he didn't even remember the person sitting in front of him. Richard leaned into Yujins soft touch and continued to listen to his silky words that - if they came from anyone else - would only sound corny and maybe even unbelievable. "It did help me, much as it helps me now when I have you or at least something of you around.", Richard finally answered with a soft voice. He never had been so in love before, it almost hurt. "No... not really. I don't think I deserve all that, but I accept your feelings. In fact... I'd like to kiss you now after all." He didn't close the distance between them himself, he just looked at Yujin as if he was from another star. Something so unreal, Richard couldn't believe it. He squeezed his hand a bit more, knowing very well that Yujin probably was a bit too out of it for offering up his heart to him right now. Then he chuckled again because of Yujins goofiness, but he opened his mouth to let himself be fed.

    • "Your idiot!", he declared, as if Richard didn't already know that. Yujin was a mess, but a lovable one, and so was Richard, whom he cherished and wanted to be with, even when everthing turned to shit, even when the world ended and even when he was chuckling like he did right now, something that made his fingers tingle and his heart rejoice, something that made him giggle like an idiot. "Your laughter is so nice.", Yujin commented, in fact, it was music to his ears and balm for his soul, something that could cure him of all and any diseases, something that would keep him safe from any pain he could ever experience, he was sure of it - and it was painfully obvious how hard he had fallen for someone that initially hadn't even wanted to be his. Right now, however, they both were one anothers and it made Yujin smile, it made him feel fuzzy, but the drugs played a part in that as well, that much he knew - and still, now he was the one with rosy cheeks, the one that was embarrassed and yet loved. "Forever and always." It was like they were declaring and sharing their wills now, like they were marrying soon, but even then, even if that was the case, Yujin didn't know what to think - in fact, he didn't want to think, he didn't want to do anything but be with Richard, and he wanted to share all the fun he could have with him.

      "Is that why you like to wear my clothes?", he suddenly teased, but he didn't mind. Even now, he thought they fit Richard, and truth be told, Yujin had to big of a wardrobe to wear everything every other day. He liked his clothing, yes, most of it anyway, but even then, he'd rather share his favorite pieces with Richard, his favorite person, and somebody that suited them so well, despite not having them tailored to himself. "I'm glad I can spend comfort. I feel at peace when I know you're right there, in my arms. Sleeping without you for two days was ... lonely. I missed you." Now, that made him sound like a child, but Yujin knew that he was allowed to be childish and selfish at times, even though he tried his best to respect Richards boundaries. As a piece of meat was taken from his spoon, he smiled - it was good to see the blonde do better, and while Yujin wouldn't mind to continue his life in a domestic and lazy way, providing for someone that had to take care of himself first and foremost, he longed for adventures with him by his side, all the way out there, under the starry sky and half-buried in icy snow, chuckling about the most mundane of things. "Shhhh, you're thinking too much. You deserve all of my feelings, both good and bad, as much as I deserve yours ... and as many kisses as you want." Yujin took the spoon back and let it sink into his congee, something he had to take care of later. He sat himself next to Richard on the bed and put his arms around him, nuzzling up to him before leaning in. "One kiss, coming right up.", he chuckled, before pressing a soft kiss to Richards plush lips, an adrestian one, as Richard called them - it wasn't wolfish or messy at all, and soon after, once they parted, Yujin caressed his cheek with the back of his hand. "Moonlight suits you."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "It feels nice to be happy for once. I am. I know I can't let myself be fooled like this morning and think everything is suddenly okay, but I know I do better. Because of you. You're giving me normality and strength. Thank you.", Richard answered, looking into Yujins eyes. He could get lost in them, could stare into them the rest of the evening as they reflected the moon from the window and the fire from the fireplace. Staying together with Yujin forever was what Richard wanted, yet there was still this voice in the back of his head that told him that he was ruining Yujins life and stealing the best of his years. For now he didn't want to think about that anymore though. Maybe it was that little fabric bag that Shuren gave him, or the fumes of smoke Yujin had dragged back home, but Richard felt more at peace than ever since he came back. "I should tell you all this while you're sober. I'm sorry.", Richard then claimed, how drunk was Yujin in the first place? He always giggled a lot and blabbered on about mundane things.

      "Yeah. Though... I never asked for them.", Richard replied. Yujin had just given them to him and draped him into them. Richard enjoyed having something of Yujin around and he enjoyed the smell his clothes emitted and reminded Richard of him. "Don't be silly...", Richard mumbled with a smile on his lips. This time it was his hand that found its way onto Yujins face to softly caress his cheek. "I'm not vanishing again. I promise you that." Not without a goodbye, not without talking to Yujin. He deserved better and actually, Richard didn't plan to go anywhere as long as Yujin wanted him to stay. The food seemed unimportant suddenly and Yujin came closer. Richard could feel his arms around him and his breath on his cheek. It smelled like liquor and smoke, but that was alright. When Yujin leaned in ans placed his lips on Richard it felt like his heart skipped a beat. His whole body was filled with a fuzzy feeling as he returned the soft and loving kiss. It only took a moment, but afterwards he stayed close. "Now you enticed me to kiss you after all... charmer...", Richard mumbled softly. Just sitting here, being held and being so close felt incredible. "But weren't you hungry...?"

    • "I'm glad you can relax around me. That's what I was trying to achieve, and I'm happy it works." Confessions and honesty were important, especially to someone like Richard, and Yujin wanted to uphold those values, wanted to make him cherish every moment spent together - and to be frank, he didn't quite mind it anyway. Happiness was only a step away, but sometimes, said step took a tad bit longer to take, and thus, support was always welcome, he was sure of it. For now, he was happy that Richard had slept well and that he was feeling better than after their bath, but Yujin would be lying if he didn't admit to miss all the closeness they'd shared before. Sure, time would prove that they both would find back to one another, and for now, none of that was an issue. However, in an effort to resolve all of this before, Yujin had pushed too hard and thus, stopped doing so now, by holding himself back. "No no, if this is easier for you, it's alright. I'm not that out of it, I'm just having a good time right now." And Richard as well, judging by the fact that his face had lit up and that there was a smile on his lips; what a peculiar thing to happen, and what else, it was quite the spectacle, too. Yujins face lit up and he lost himself in Richards eyes, in a metaphorical sense.

      "They fit you, and I figured that they'd give you a sense of familarity, something like normalcy ... and I don't mind gifting you some and sharing them with you. After all, they suit you well!" And that they did. Yujin would undo the sash right this instant in any other situation, but he wasn't focused on that at all right now, no. Richard looked better, he was improving and he was happy for him, but even then, there was something else that he couldn't get out of his head - it was Richards smile. "I'm not, I'm honest.", Yujin made clear, and that he was. Not once did he not think about Richard and how he was feeling, and not once did he not ask himself why he wasn't creeping closer to him in the first place. Then again, there was a certain amount of personal space he'd likely have to respect, and that he would, even if Richard was wrapping him around his finger right now. "If you vanish, I want to vanish with you." And thus, he set another thing in stone; this time around, he wouldn't accept being thrown away like he had been before, no - he was too head over heels for Richard at this point and frankly, it only got better when Richard returned his kiss and his soft hand found his way to Yujins cheek; he immediately found himself leaning into the touch, wanting it to linger longer than ever before. "Says the one with the most kissable lips ever." Richard was close and Yujin caught a good glimpse of the fine details, of the moonlight that shone onto his face and the flickering flames reflected in his doe brown eyes, as well as his long lashes and his lips that were curled into a smile - warm breath hit his skin, and much like the kiss, it made him shiver, almost in anticipation. "Hungry for a kiss, maybe?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "It's not that it's easier... I guess... it was just the right moment now...", Richard mumbled as he softly bonked his own head against Yujins. He closed his eyes with their foreheads together and took in the soft and little touches he received. He wished he would have looked as he did before, he had been handsome, hadn't he? The ugly scar on his neck was always there for Yujin, but other than that, Richard had probably looked the best he ever did. never before did he train that hard and even though he wasn't a mountain of a man as Nayantai, Muhan or even Dayan, he was strong nonetheless. Now there was barely any flesh on his bones, much less muscles and it wouldn't change anytime soon if he lost himself in Yujin instead of eating his dinner. Richard still held his own bowl with one hand, but now he put it away, guessing where the nightstand was and he was lucky the bowl didn't slip off the edge and onto the floor. Now with both hands free, he let one rest on Yujins cheek and the other searched for one of Yujins hands, to hold it softly.

      "You never liked my old clothes anyway...", Richard mumbled still smiling. he remembered those old Thrian clothes that were too big for Richard also probably not very stylish - not that he could tell what good fashion sense was around here. Yujin went so far as to demand Richard goes to a tailor with him, Richard refused of course. "I'm sorry for kicking you out then...", Richard answered. he didn't mean to hurt Yujins feelings, but he needed some time for himself. Just a bit to sort his thoughts. "That sounds... far more sad than it should be. If I should go back to Adrestia at some point, I'm going to take you with me. For now, I want to stay here though." He didn't want to go back home, there was nothing for him except his father and he made clear that he rather stayed with Dayan than with Richard. He didn't want to think about that though. He just wanted to ravel in the feelings he just felt, close to Yujin. "Another one...?", Richard asked silently. "I thought we wanted to eat... and possibly smoke, so I won't freak out on you again." He still felt bad because of it. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to spoil the mood. I feel good now. Very good. Forget what I said..."

    • Yujin took the collision of their heads like it was the most normal thing to do and rubbed his forehead against that of Richards while giggling about it. The right moment, huh? He liked that, but was better than that, it just meant that the cause for Richards sudden surge in good mood was his reappearance and Yujin was just doing his best to keep those high spirits contained, to not invoke another feeling within Richard. In one moment, he had many ideas and in the next, he forgot about all of them again, almost like the changing tide called out to him and swept away whatever it had dragged to the shore previously. Silence prevailed between them and there was the clattering of a bowl that had been placed elsewhere, which made Yujin grin. No food? That wasn't his plan. "I see, I'm glad, regardless." One life could impact another and as things stood, his very own life could impact that of Richard and cause an uproar within him, within a system that no longer was one and never had been stable in the first place. Yujin didn't mind, he had set foot here and he would eat his heart out on every piece of metaphorical flesh and bone he was offered. "They didn't fit. And they seemed a lot less personal. And your adrestian clothes ... were thin.", he commented, giggling at the idiotic proposal made by Richard, who's grasp on his hand he returned, happy about the warmth it spread.

      Sure, they never had fit in the first place, they were hand-me-downs from god knew who, something that had been threwn together without much care, something that had been repurposed because someone else had no need for them anymore. By now, Richard had something akin to his own wardrobe, something that gave off his smell, mixed with that of Yujins, and he couldn't say he disliked it. "No worries.", Yujin answered, a smile plastered onto his lips. "Sometimes you need some time on your own. And I was pushy. I respect and understand that, but communicating your feelings is important in a relationship.", he made clear, and with that, giggled. Richard had been right before, these were conversations for a sober Yujin, not a drunk and high one, but he pulled himself together as best as he could and the air in here helped, as well as the words that the blonde sputtered, the confessions he made. "I'll stay here with you and I'll go wherever you want to be, once you want to leave. Sounds good?" Yujin rubbed his own forehead against Richards once more, instead of grabbing another kiss, before he wanted to reiterate how close the blonde truly was, but the words couldn't escape his throat. "Maybe?", he giggled, but then shook his head. "Let's get you something to eat, I'm hungry to." Instead of grabbing the bowl, Yujin stayed close, squeezing Richards hand. "You feel very good? So do I ... tell you what, you didn't ruin anything, you just told me that you're hungry, no? Want some food, then?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard wanted to stay like this and he wanted to continue to feel like this, but he was very well aware that this feeling wouldn't prevail and that there was always something lingering, maybe it would never go away. At least for now he wanted to enjoy his time with Yujin, his own chuckling that felt good. How long had it been since he laughed and chuckled? The last time was together with his father. Richard squeezed Yujins hand a bit harder, he knew that back then he always fled himself in Yujins arms and kisses and it hardly had been the right therapy for him, or had it been? Even now he wished to kiss Yujin again, to maybe even slide a hand under one layer of his clothings after he already shed another, but he was also scared of what would come next and how he'd feel. He didn't know where his own borders were, how far he and Yujin could go and he was scared that he would ignite something in Yujin that made him become too eager too fast. That he'd maybe press Richard down into the sheets and he was reminded of something completely different, or that the soft touches remembered him of the soft touches he received in the cellar which were nothing but lies to gain Richards trust, or whatever it was. "i know you didn't like them.", Richard answered, trying to get back into normality. "Because they were too thin and cold, but I never asked you if you liked to look at me in them?"

      Richard preferred his Adrestian clothes out of principal back then and besides that he preferred a look he was used to. Now he kind of leaned the other way. he liked the Thrian clothing, not only because they were much warmer. He liked them on himself, maybe because he wanted to get as far away from Adrestia as possible, even in clothing or eating habits. The only thing he maybe missed were his pajamas. "You weren't... I just needed to sort something out.", Richard answered Yujin. "You will never be too pushy or too much and I know that you'll stop if I tell you to." Yujin didn't need to worry, not at all. Being pushy was good most of the time too, Richard always needed someone pulling him into a direction. He nodded at Yujin when he agreed to stay with Richard and he shortly rubbed his nose against Yujins. This was beautiful and he didn't want to ruin it. Richard wasn't actually hungry, he just worried way too much, but still he nodded at Yujin. He softly pulled back, but he intentionally stayed close to Yujin. Their bodies still touched when Richard grabbed the bowl of food again to get this over with. He felt a bit awkward now, which was probably why he held the spoon full with food right in front of Yujins mouth. "Aaaah..."

    • Nuzzling closer and bridging the gap between all that had happened previously to establish a new, more profound relationship between one another was all there was to it - they were so close it almost hurt and yet, they were so far away from one another too that it made little sense to continue their magical banter at a distance. For once, Yujin thought he was making a difference, in Richards life for Richards sake, and all the reassurance through physical gestures made him feel at home and relieved him in an unimaginable way - he liked to be who he was and he enjoyed the attention he got, even though he was sure that he shouldn't ask for so much more than Richard was able to give. There wasn't much to think about in a vital sense, but there was enough to make an attempt at one too many things - an attempt at questioning himself as well as those who surrounded him and made his life what it ought to be. "I like them like this, however.", he meant his own clothes, but even then, he somehow had the urge to strip them from Richards body, layer for layer, not for any sexual purpose, but rather because he wanted to see and feel, with his hands and nothing else. "Your adrestian clothes? Hm ...", Yujin squinted and as if to deflect from the absence of Richards form in his memory, he nuzzled up to him and shared the moment with him, as best as he could.

      "I ... They looked tight. But they also gave you quite the nice figure, nothing like silessian clothes that obscure the contents of the package until you unravel it fully." Those layers kept warm, they did, and they proved to be great blankets too, especially since they usually amounted to a would-be massive piece of fabric if one took them off. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to drape Richard in them, in his very own, and make it apparent to him that no matter what, he was welcome in his arms and always would be. "Mhm! Just say the word. After all, consent is key ... and besides, you'd do the same for me if I asked you to." For one reason or the other, Yujin wanted to trade places with Richard, to free him from his unimaginable pain, as well as give him freedom over his life - over something he had had little control over for a good long while now. In reality, that was hardly possible, but even then, he enjoyed the soft gestures, he enjoyed the fact that none of this had to devolve into kissing, or something more, no - he enjoyed the comfort that Richards mere presence offered, the security he felt, so close to him, hidden away by both darkness and blinding moonlight. Looking at Richard, even when he moved just a bit, was breathtaking and Yujin couldn't help but smile, before starting to giggle at the cutesy gesture. Without much of a thought, he wrapped one of his now free hands around Richards waist to keep him close, careful not too spill the congee. "Thank you for the meal!", he simply spoke, before blowing at the spoon for a bit before taking it into his mouth. There wasn't too much chewing involved, but right after that, he softly grabbed the spoon from Richards hand, scooping up some congee and more meat. "My turn now, say aaaah.", he chuckled, offering the next bite to the blonde.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard felt almost hot, which was odd in a place like Silesse. Sure, he had his own little fireplace, something that still didn't make much sense to him, but the ice was strong and cold enough to fight the warmth so that it hardly even reached the bed in this little room of his. When Yujin wasn't close to him Richard always felt a slight pain in his bones, nothing major, just a cold feeling that seeped into his body and it also had been like this the first time he was here. It didn't make him sick, but he preferred Yujins presence and his warm hands, only now he felt like his body procured enough heat on its own to keep him warm. His cheeks felt hot too and they probably were red, much as Yujins, which could have many reasons. The alcohol, the cold, or the fact that he felt the same as Richard. It wasn't embarrassment, Richard wasn't embarrassed, he was simply happy, maybe drunk on something else than liquor, on Yujin, on love, whatever it was. He was even happier when Yujin remembered more about their past, the answer wasn't even that important.

      "So you knew exactly what you were after?", Richard asked with a slight grin. "Then again, we saw each other naked pretty soon." How did he forget that? They both had been so cold, that they just needed to get out of their wet clothes and then they opted for some blankets. Hell, they both burnt their hands afterwards, Richard remembered having a bandage over the spot for a while. He reached for Yujins hand to turn the palm to face him, he wanted to see if there was still residue of their first meeting when they both were so stupid. It felt as if they had been so much younger, but it wasn't even that long ago. They hardly were grown ups now. "I just don't want to hurt you when needing a break.", Richard then admitted. He was hesitant, he knew that and he wasn't sure if it was justified. Either way, thy had food to eat and Yujin also kept awfully close, it was hard to move and eat, but Richard liked it like that. They took turns with feeding each other. It was stupid and childish, but Richard didn't care. There were so many things his old self would have never done, because he would have felt stupid or childish, not as strong as he wanted to be, but right now, he didn't care, he just wanted to have fun. It didn't matter how they acted or how they looked, no one was here and it was nobody elses business but theirs. And they both enjoyed it until at least one of the bowls was empty.

    • The comfort Richard had provided his old self was far from gone - it still lingered, in the back of Yujins mind, like almost everything else - even when he couldn't discern them anymore and thought the to be lost, he soon figured that something like this wasn't the case and the reality was much more gruesome than that. Reacting like this was inappropriate, and although he wished to remember everything that was whisked away from him, he was fine like this, in a new world, with the same lover that came to him when he didn't even know that he yearned for him. Richard was mysterious, for many more reasons than one, and Yujin was someone that, despite everything, didn't think twice about it all. "Did I now?", he teased, an innocent smile spreading on his lips. Was he sprucing all of this up for the sake of doing so, or because he truly and genuinely was remembering something that he had cast away, to the back of his mind, once the medication got ahold of him? Or was he just appeasing the blonde? "After we fell down the cliff! Talk about me being pushy!" His sense of reality was still a warped one, one that he hardly could force to make sense; but even then, he didn't ask twice about it, he just accepted the world for what it was, and thus, he accepted Richard for whom he was supposed to be - and who he was now. "Well, I can't say I disliked what I saw. But ... I also enjoy the little bundle you are now."

      Like this, Richard was different and his personality had changed a good 180 degrees from what it used to be. The ability to do something like that was often times impossible and sometimes coveted by those who couldn't do it. As two marbles fell upon his hand, looking at it as if to search for something, he grinned, before nodding into one direction. It was on the inside of his hand, the one that Richard didn't always hold, the one that, for better or for worse, was used for just about anything else. "Are you looking for that scar?", he sheepishly asked and despite it being rather trivial, there was a tiny, maybe one or two centimeter long burn mark along the left side of Yujins palm, something that he had paid no mind for much too long. "That stung like hell for a while, but ... hm, I mean, you broke my nose!", Yujin suddenly laughed and shook his head. Right now, nobody could see that it was the slightest bit crooked, but it hurt on stormy days, as if the formely broken bone still had it out for him, or rather because he was quite sensitive. "Mh, you're not. Communication is key, we'll figure it out, for both of us." Yujin kept Richard close now and relaxed in the embrace, chidding him slightly whenever he seemingly hesitated about taking a bite, or ripping a stupid joke that made them both laugh. Soon enough, one of the bowls was emptied, and Yujin felt stuffed. "You have some rice on your face.", he giggled, bringing his finger up to the corner of his mouth and robbing him of the grain. "Oh, and also ..." Now, Yujin was the one that grabbed ahold of Richards hand and put them against his cheek, nuzzling up to it, before pressing a kiss against the palm. "I have a question."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Watching Yujin remember everything from back then made Richard unbelievably happy. It were stupid memories of stupid things they did, when they hated each other, kind of, but not really. Richard wanted to hug Yujin and wrestle him down on the bed, that's how happy he was, but he didn't do it, not with a bowl of food between them. Actually they never hated each other. Yujin might have been a bit mad, but that didn't hold for very long and Richard never hated anyone around here, not Yujin, not Nayantai and also not any stranger. He simply didn't know where to put his anger about his situation, about the death of almost his entire family and the fact that he needed to flee his own country. He had been angry, he maybe even hated himself, very certainly actually, but he didn't hate Yujin. "I'm glad you remember all that, even though it was stupid.", Richard smiled and wondered how much more Yujin could unravel. Since they started sitting here Richard had to think of that one night in the tent, when he was cold, very cold and they opened up their clothing so Richard could warm up against Yujins skin. Of course back then they weren't able to keep to them selves, but that was not what he was thinking about. He thought about the softness it started with and wondered if he could have that again.

      "I gained some weight... I think...", Richard replied with a short smile. He wanted to have more on his bones, maybe he felt less cold like that too. A healthy weight would be preferable, right now he didn't have that still. Then he nodded as Yujin showed him the scar he was searching for, more that Yujin remembered. "Mhm.", he smiled and showed his own hand. There was just a slight discoloration on it, not even looking like a scar and he was sure that it would completely fade with time. "Who even won that?", he chuckled, knowing all too well, that he lunged over the table to get a hold of Yujin because... what did he even say? Richard couldn't remember why he got so angry. Richard felt a bit sorry for it, but it was part of their history and thus somewhat important. He leaned forward and gave Yujin a soft kiss on his nose as if it would heal the rest of the bone too. Sitting here like this gave Richard the best feeling since days, months, maybe even years. He finally had his mind somewhere else. Never fully, but enough. Once the bowl was empty and Richard ate a bit more than he normally would have, because Yujin had insisted and tickled him to make him open his mouth, he felt a bit full. He was still close to Yujin and thought about resting his head on his shoulder, but instead his hand was grabbed and a kiss was placed on it. "Yes?", he asked about the question Yujin wanted to ask. He wondered what it could be. Did he seem a bit more serious now? Richard wasn't sure.

    • Discovering himself through uncertain memories was odd, but he couldn't claim that he disliked it. Yujin wasn't sure what Richard would do to him in the long run, or if happiness was but a cornerstone away, yet, he was happy already, with the way everything was and with how the stars aligned for them, now that they found each other once more. Once someone dished out the truth however, they couldn't take it back, and spending every waking hour toiling in pain and helplessness, simply because one missed a companion or something to take their mind off of things hurt, more than a little bit. Yujin wished for a life that he could spend together with Richard, one were he recalled more than a standoffish figure in muted colors, in clothing that accentuated his figure so well, and the fist that subsequently hit him square in the face, broke his nose and made him fear Richard for what would be the first and only time in his life. Upon seeing the reaction that all of those confessions induced in Richard, he was grinning too, probably rivaling the moon in the amount of light he shed and the beaming smiles he gave off tonight. Going to the den was nice, as much as he liked being goofy with his friends. But doing all of that with Richard? It was even better. "It got us started, and I'd be lying if I didn't find you strangely alluring even then. You're smiling a lot more now, though. That's cute."

      Yujin would be lying if he didn't like to hear the clattering of the bowl that was sat back on the nightstand, and as if he didn't like listening to all the mindless, yet emotional banter they had had going on for a while and were gravitating back to. "You think? Let me be the judge of that." Yujin nudged closer so he could pinch Richards side with his fingers, and ... "You are right!", he blurted out, chuckling. That wasn't just skin that he had felt, there was actually meat on Richards bones; something he was in desperate need of and Yujin was happy enough for him to envelop him in his embrace and hug him, if only for a brief moment. "I'm so, so proud of you.", Yujin praised the blonde, listening to whatever else would come of their little fire talk. Of course none of them won that, but to the victor went the spoils, and thus, neither of them had achieved something significant, or had they? "Hmm, I think it's a tie. We both won a lover." That was true, but a broken nose and some fire weren't the inciting incident for that, even if it was what had gotten their relationship started. A soft kiss was plastered onto his nose and Yujins heart fluttered as he grabbed back Richards hand and squeezed it. They both were in a much softer mood, and while Yujins head was stuffed with cotton, all the fuzz felt like it was spilling from his ears, even if it was just Richards soft voice. "I wanted to know ...", he started, whispering at a low volume. "If you'd like to touch me? ... That sounds dirty ... I don't mean it like that, tho. Like, if you want to touch something, or take some of those layers off. I don't mind. I don't want anything in return, but maybe ... it helps?" With what, though? Yujin wasn't a woman, soe he didn't have a pair of boobs Richard could abuse as two well-rounded stressballs, but he was ... wholly warm. "I don't mind. I just wanted to offer it to you. Especially since you like cuddling and how warm I am."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • It was true, Richard probably had less to smile about, but still he did. His brother and sister were still dead, murdered and even though Richard didn't see Nayantai at fault for that, what Flora and Atwick saw with their last breath was their own father killing them. No, he didn't want to think about that now, not when images flooded back to him, images he wanted to forget but had haunted him at night even the first time he came here. Today was not the time to grief, Richard didn't need to feel bad because he experienced a little bit of happiness. He hated himself for that back when he first was in Silesse, but he had to learn that that was stupid, Dayan - who he assumed that - had even told him that. Well, Richard wished he had reacted different too, that he wouldn't have run into Luciens arms for comfort. Richard did the same with Yujin, but while Yujin was a happy goofball, Lucien was like his father Aramis. Even though he killed him in front of Richards eyes, it didn't make them friends.

      Richard sighed shortly, Yujin probably saw in his face that his thoughts had tracked off, Richard didn't want them himself and once more he eyed the pipe Yujin brought which he also carelessly put on the bed behind them. Richard wanted to find back into the moment and he chuckled when he was pinched a bit. "Ouch...", he mumbled looking into Yujins face. He still grinned all across his face and acknowledged the weight Richard gained thus far. He only also needed a bit of muscles. "Is that something to be proud of?", Richard then asked a bit embarrassed, but why not. He hadn't really eaten for weeks when he came here. He was doing much better actually and he didn't know why that wasn't enough for himself for now. "Hitting on someone in the literal sense...", Richard joked and he knew his jokes were bad but today he was probably on the same level as Yujin. Then he listened to Yujins question which made Richards cheeks turn even more red. "I... that's embarrassing", Richard confessed and took a moment. Then he let go of Yujin and crawled deeper into their bed, taking him with him. Once there weren't any feet dangling out anymore, Richard closed the curtains around the bed, only slightly annoyed that even something like that exhausted him to some degree. Once he was done and the fire reflected on all four curtains, making this look somewhat magical, Richard sat in front of Yujin again and grabbed his hands. "Do you remember the nights we spent in that tent?", he asked, because this felt reminiscent of that. "You were scared and I was cold... well now I am both of those it seems."

      Dieser Beitrag wurde bereits 1 mal editiert, zuletzt von Earinor ()

    • Every single touch that Yujin could offer up to Richard might as well have been a wrong one, one that wounded and hurt him, that made him recall something less than ordinary and something that, despite everything, was merely tugging at his heartstrings for all the wrong reasons. Keeping him here with him, in an undeniable reality, seemed the easiest thing to do and Yujin knew that he'd just have to put effort into it to achieve what he wanted, even if it meant that he had to constantly be on Richards case, lest he'd think too much about something else that wasn't Yujins intention in any way. "Ouch? And then you laugh?", he giggled, hopeful that all those things beyond Richards beautiful eyes were long forgotten and whisked away into an imaginary world that, for tonight, he didn't have access to. It didn't help that Yujin couldn't offer Richard the world, but at least framed him as someone that, while not exactly wise beyond his years, understood one too many things about sadness. "Putting on a few pounds? Well, you could use some meat on your bones, or at least some padding! So yes, yes it is. And besides, that just makes you easier to cuddle." That it did, but with all those layers of fabric between them, Yujin had much more of Richard to grab anyway - and even then, what did it matter? The blonde was beautiful either way.

      "Pff, yeah. Quite literal. Square in the face, to be exact.", he laughed, and he knew that without any of that happening, he would have never had that stupid urge to punch ... Richard back? He had done that, he was sure of it, but for some weird reason, recalling it became harder and harder on him, almost like it was fading from his mind, the longer he took turns to decide whatever or not he liked more about Richard. "I can be even more embarrassing, trust me, it might as well be my middle name." It wasn't, his middle name was 'bad jokes' or something along the lines of 'idiot', but it definitely wasn't embarrassing. In a stroke of genius, it seemed like his words hadn't fallen upon deaf ears and Richard was indulging him so much more yet again, something he definitely should not have done and another thing that, without doubt, was just Yujins doing - him pushing Richard into the right direction, but the easy way. He wouldn't have been mad or sulking if he said no, but it devolved into much more than Yujin could have asked for. The curtains were pulled shut and the moon locked out, as well as any non-existent eyes that could have seen them. All Yujin could see was Richards shadow, dancing against the thick curtains, reflected upon by the flames that kept the room warmer and alight - and all he felt, now that he had kicked off his shoes and sat himself on the inside of the bed, with Richard so close, were two feeble hands touching his own. "Our little trip to the middle of nowhere, the one you proposed and I wanted, yet, I was afraid?", he mumbled, bringing Richards hand up to his mouth with his own and running his thumb over it, in an effort to spend comfort. "I'm here for you, always was and always will be. But yes, I do remember.", he spoke with a grin before plastering a kiss to Richards hand and leaning back as best as he could without keeling over. "Would you like to cuddle like that again?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Yujin has met Richard at his worst. Two times. He hadn't been well before and he wasn't now. Richard wondered if Yujin would have liked the old Richard, before all of those things happened, when his family was alive and well and the blonde was nothing more than a stupid teenager with stupid ideas and a brother that enabled him. He felt like he asked himself before if Yujin just wanted someone he could fix, but no, that wasn't the case and even if, Richard didn't think he'd ever be okay again. Better, yes, but not completely normal. "I never had much padding to begin with.", Richard reminded Yujin, but of course he was right. Now there was neither fat nor muscles, there were mostly bones which made his fingers look much longer than they actually were. He didn't look like a skeleton anymore though, but he didn't look at himself much either, because he feared to remember too much, something he didn't want to remember, for example where this or that scar came from. "You haven't eaten enough today though...", he pointed out. They shared a bowl and that was hardly enough for someone like Yujin. "Or do you want me to be the fat one?"

      Richard smiled. They both were stupid and punching each other had been unnecessary and uncalled for. Falling off a cliff and intentionally burning their hands was too. They hadn't even drank that day. They also didn't in that tent, nor did they smoke, that encounter was in fact the first genuine one, the first sober one. Every other time they had been at the den before or Yujin had brought his pipe. Richard remembered that day when he was so down from Dayans birthday... it was very soon, wasn't it? Or did Richard miss it? Well even if their was a party, Richard surely wouldn't be invited anyway. Richard felt bad he did miss Yujins birthday however, even though there was nothing he could gift him this time around. "I've never seen you scared before...", Richard mumbled and he also didn't want Yujin to be afraid of anything. This reminded Richard that he wanted to find out more and Muhan just told them off basically... well he'd make an effort tomorrow then maybe. For now Richard looked at Yujin and at his own hand that was kissed. Yes Richard wanted that kind of, but he was also worried. He didn't answer, he just freed his hand softly and then trailed downwards on Yujins clothing. He hesitated to take Yujin up on his offer though, so instead he just softly pressed his hand against Yujins chest and let his head hang down for a bit. With some layers inbetween Yujins skin and Richards hand he could still feel his body and warmth. After a while he let himself sink forward and leaned his forehead against Yujins chest, next to his hand which still remained there too. "I'm worried it'll be too much..."