sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

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    • "Nah, I'd rather ask you, because you don't know what to answer.", Caelan grinned, after all Ronan seemed a little bit confused and that had been what he had aimed for, right? It was cute, but he only joked around and now rather took what was left of the juice Orlando had brought before, he was thirsty after that fights. Then he leaned forward to rest his hands on the railing and his head on his hands to watch the ongoing fight. Cameron watched as well without saying much and at least those two didn't fight. Ethan however plucked on Ronans sleeve softly and smiled at him to pick up their previous topic. "It's all a matter of training, I can read almost everywhere, or think myself somewhere else.", he said, thinking that Ronan could make good use of such an ability. "I'm sorry though, I'm not entirely sure how to explain it, but maybe you could try to find a way and do the same. Even if Caelan drags you around like all of us and is loud as heck, you can read or think about something completely else." Ethan chuckled and looked over to the blonde, he knew though, that Caelan couldn't have heard that. "I guess it's just a matter of focus, I focus on the words until I blend out anything else. Hm... I can't give you more tips than that though I think. Well... I didn't start with reading in the middle of a crowd, I imagined a game of chess with myself at first, that was easier to focus on. Maybe you have something you can dig yourself into to start with."

      Caelan briefly looked over his shoulder, he didn't actually mind what Ethan and Ronan were talking about, he just was glad they did. Instead of busting in he focused on the fight again, which would be lost by one person soon enough. "I'll get going then.", Cameron said, having the same thought as it seemed and stood up again. "Good luck!", Caelan smiled, tilting his head. "You know I don't need that!", Cameron retaliated with a confident grin. "Still.", Caelan hummed and Cameron just rolled his eyes and walked away, he didn't mind though, Caelan knew. Well after Camerons fight it was Ronans turn and though he didn't really want to disturb him and Ethan he pulled on his clothes a little bit after a while. "Do you want to get ready too? I'll bring you to the starting point, if you want." Also he could give him another pep talk or some tips maybe.

    • "W-What's that supposed to mean!?", he asked, rather confused than actually pissed off and then he wasn't sure anymore. It was all so confusing to him and while he liked watching Caelan, he didn't care much more for the rest of his opponents, or anyone else in this tournament except maybe the blonde and his best friend who'd both be a pain in the ass to beat, weren't they? One of these days, Ronan would find himself at someones mercy and if he was honest, he hoped it was neither of those two, simply for the fact that it would only end in a disaster. A slight tug at his sleeve told him more than it should and Ronan did divert his attention to the person doing it, looked at Ethan and listened to him, taking in all the information he was offered. "It's fine! Any advice is good advice as long as it's somewhat understandable, so I'm glad to have your insight!" Ethan was someone that would probably not mind just sitting between him and Henry - and suddenly, there were three silent idiots sitting on a bench on a snowy evening, reading their books in dim light. "I'll bring a book next time and try it out ... or we play a game of chess in a noisy place, if you want to." Maybe Ethan was into that sort of thing? "If you don't want to, that's fine, but I think I could learn something from you."

      Now that his attention had been on Ethan for a good while, it almost felt odd to be unable to just give Caelan the kind of attention he wanted to give him - his fingers felt like they were trembling and he honestly wanted nothing more than to lay his hands on him, to drag him back to his room and rest up some more. Cameron departed, off to his own match and it suddenly dawned upon him that it would be his turn pretty soon - Ronan didn't want to, though, but he'd already talked so high and mighty about himself, he almost had to beat some people to the ground and also, Ethan had put his faith - and money - into him and he didn't want to disappoint him. "I'd rather do anything else, really. But ... mh, if you want to come, you can? I don't mind, but I'm not sure if it's alright to leave Ethan all alone - you really don't need to, you know?" The worst case scenario was, that his father stumbled upon them and stopped them from going one step further, simply because it was so very bewildering that he saw his son with the heir of Fhaergus and therefore a person he somehow hated more than his own flesh and blood. "It's up to you, really", he mumbled as he got up, back onto his feet and stretched - even that stung in his wrist, he probably should take some painkillers later.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan didn't answer, he just smiled knowingly, Ethan had something to say however. "You can borrow my book.", he smiled, offering it to Ronan. "I don't mind, though we could also play some chess right here, if you feel up to it, in our minds at least. It took a lot of time to remember every single move of two people, but I can help you out if you forget, it'll be a good training as well." Maybe even Ethan got a little bit too excited and he shook his head a little bit. "Actually... I've bet a lot of money on you, so maybe we should watch those fights, all of them, some of those people might very well become your opponents later. I'll help you find weaknesses if you want, though I must admit Caelan is somewhat of a prodigy in that regard, so you might as well ask him for help. Some of those fighting today he already fought too, so he knows some things about them and for some reason those are things he doesn't forget." Caelan turned towards the two of them. "Hey! My mind is excellent, I never forget anything." "Except the rules of the cardgame we always play?"

      Caelan laughed, well... he just didn't listen in the first place but when he put his mind to it he wasn't so bad, actually, he just never did. Wasn't this all there was to anything? If someone spent effort, it would work out, Ronans fights would work out as well. "Don't mind me!", Ethan smiled because Ronan was thinking about him of all people. "I'll read my book and when your fight starts, I'll be counting on you." Caelan smiled as well and stood up. "You heard him, come on, I'll show you were to report." Caelan had lied if he said he didn't worry a little bit about Ronan, but he was going to fight, so actually there was not much use, all he could do is prep him a little bit and as soon as they fought their way through the crowd that was focused on the battle at hand anyway, he looked at Ronan and walked a little bit slower. "You can do it and if not, it's not a big deal either, I'll be proud either way. I'll watch your fight, I'll cheer you on and if you have doubts, just think of that fact, I'll stay right at the sides." That was the truth, he actually didn't want to fight Ronan anymore, not that badly, he just wanted him to achieve something and bringing himself to just try this was already an achievement. "Are you sure you don't want that test punch?"

    • "I ... you really don't need to", he answered, kind of ashamed that Ethan would go as far as to offer a stranger like him his book, just because he'd been good at a game of cards he kind of involuntarily was roped into and now they were striking up this unlikely friendship, weren't they? Who knew, maybe his father would be happier to know that he befriended Ethan and not Caelan, but in reality, Ronan couldn't really say that - he didn't know, that much was for sure. "We can play mind games later, how about that? Or maybe I'll go find us an actual chessboard somewhere, I think that's more comfortable", Ronan hummed and in the end, this was a good idea, wasn't it? It would keep him from feeling overly exhausted after that match of his and he could continue to cimb those stupid ranks like he was intending to, even if that meant he'd have to bite back all of his pain. "Do you really think I can rely on Caelan?", the noble chuckled for a second before shaking a head. "He is pretty observant, that I already know. So he'll prove to be a great asset when it comes to achieving any goal." And he'd do best to keep that in mind himself, he wouldn't want his boyfriend to become his enemy at some point.

      Was it already time for him to fight? Did he still have to? Wasn't this all just his prolonged dream about things he didn't even want to hear and wasn't this all nothing more than a pain in the ass to go through? The next time something like this would happen, he'd have to cut back on those expensive habits of his and not hurt himself, lest he'd seek out painkillers and then get so incredibly sleepy, staying awake felt like a fake concept to begin with. "Thank you, Ethan!" And he meant it, but now he had to leave and actually prepare himself for the upcoming fight. Ronan wanted nothing more than to have Caelans arms around him, than to lay in his embrace and spend the rest of the day there, sleeping and content with the world around them, but he hardly could have that when he had to do so many other things. "I'm coming, I'm coming", he answered and followed Caelan, like a newborn duckling would do with its mother that came onto land for the first time. "I really don't want the test punch, trust me. Though ...", once they stopped, he actually balled his injured hand to a fist and hit it against Caelans chest as hard as he could. "Hurts slightly, but it doesn't seem to break so ... I guess you got what you wanted and I have confirmation I won't die", he probably would, though. "I'll try my best not to get myself mowed down."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Ronan came running right after him and did he look kind of anxious? He needn't be, this wasn't a life or death situation and whatever the outcome, Caelan would be proud of him, he told him already. "Though wha-!!", he started only to be stopped mid sentence by a punch to his chest. He coughed a little bit and held the spot Ronan punched. Damn that hurt, did he aim for that spot? Caelan hadn't even anticipated it, hadn't been ready to steel himself, instead Ronan hit him full force and very much surprised him. "I... yeah... good...", he answered rubbing over the hurting spot, that would give a blue mark as well probably, but Ronan didn't need to worry, Caelan wanted this after all. "Listen, it depends on how your wrist moves, try to keep it steady like during that punch." Caelan said, grabbing his wrist, though careful not to hurt him, but he wanted to show him what he meant. "If you thrust it shouldn't pose much of a problem, avoid inward swings or ones from down to up, anything that bends your wrist backwards." He gently showed Ronan the movements that were alright, just with his wrist, but he'd know how to transit it to his sword. "If you can't avoid blocking by all means, try supporting your main hand with your second one, even though this isn't a two-handed weapon. And attacks that force you to loose balance forward in your case will always be better than backwards, remember that. Oh and... try not to show it, your future opponents will use it if they see it." Was he mothering him too much? Was he caring too much?

      Caelan smiled again and put his hand on Ronans shoulder. "I know you can do it and if you don't mind, I'll help you just a little bit, one more thing, but keep in mind what I said, alright?" Caelan put his hand from Ronans shoulder to his wrist too and put one thumb on Ronans, the lower part of it to be exact. He felt his way around while looking into Ronans eyes and finally found the point he was looking for. He pressed his thumb on muscle and nerve tissue, holding him with the other hand, this ought to hurt, but he just did it for a few moments, then let go again. "Sorry. But the pain should be manageable now? Just don't forget that you're still injured." Caelan was full of surprises so to say, his uncle told him about pressure points to ease pain and Caelan had some more tricks up his sleeve for surviving all alone out in the wild, even if he got injured or strained himself too much at some point. Camerons fight was already over, evident by the cheers of the crowd, it was almost time. "Now kick some ass!", Caelan smiled giving Ronan one last tap on his upper arm.

    • Anxiety was bubbling up, rising again and taking over that intoxicated mind of his - he wanted nothing more than some water in his dry throat and some painkillers to make this better, to lie down in his bed and pull his blanket all the way over his head and then sleep, sleep for a long time, at least until his body would be unwilling to take any of that. Ronan was sure that it was stupid to think about it that way, but he knew all too well that it wasn't exactly an idiotic idea to not presume he'd actually win. "I'm sorry, I should have warned you, but ... that's pretty much the only thing I could do without my head warning me against it, sorry", he apologized immediately and sighed thereafter. Not that he wanted to hurt his boyfriend, but ... "I'll make it up to you later, how's that sound?", he asked, a faint smile creeping back onto his lips. Ronan didn't have an idea if he could successfully make it up to that boyfriend of his, but he'd find out, sooner than later. "That is actual, solid advice and I ... can't thank you enough." And while Caelans slight touches didn't sting, Ronan knew about as well as he did that not everything that he could come up with was a good idea. For now, however, his boyfriend was a trustworthy source that would be better off in his bed than out here, among so many people that Ronan didn't even know. "I'll try to keep that in mind, even if I imagine it'll be hard."

      His injured wrist was simply there to cause problems and he regretted it, every single second of it felt like pure agony, the further he got, the worse it became and he couldn't do anything about it. "I will, as long as you help me", he sheepishly replied and suddenly regretted asking, felt the stinging pain in that wrist of his and winced upon feeling it get worse, but it still felt whole and therefore, his complaints fell flat. Instead, he let Caelan do and once he was done, all of those painwaves wouldn't come crashing over him all that quickly anytime soon, would they now? "I ... it feels a lot better. Can we stop at the infirmary later? I'll ... not forget about it still being injured, don't worry." Even though he could try, he was oddly convinced that it would end in him being forced to become someone he wasn't and adhere to no rules, just because he saw the blonde and Cameron fight slightly unhinged. He wasn't them and they weren't him. He wished for those touches to linger a while longer, but they didn't - not a single one of them and yet he wanted them so terribly bad. "I promised you I would and I'm going to give you what I want", he chuckled and he was genuinely happy to be here, even if only for a second until the anxiety would spike again because Caelan was so far away.

      Cheers soon became more silent and Cameron showed up, had defeated his opponent with ease and Ronan couldn't help himself but want more of those touches Caelan had to offer, but instead, he had to adhere to all those restraints that society had placed upon them. It was time, wasn't it? His name had been called and it was enough to make his head turn in disgust and then eventually get his ass out there, like he'd just told Caelan. "Wish me luck", he said, but knew that he needed all of it, even if the comment had been said offhandedly, just so he had some straws to grasp upon when facing whatever poor soul that would be able to end him immediately. Pleasantries were quickly exchanged, about as quickly as the general cheering turned into something else - into a mood he couldn't stand and he was fure that it was confusion that wouldn't help, that would continue to eat away at him. Maybe that was why he was happy to actually find a way to focus on that fight of his, to exchange some quick plesantries and then cross his blades with someone else, focus on that and nothing else after that. It surely wasn't taking forever, but his wrist - now that the pain was numbed quite a bit - still gave him some trouble with his limited movements, which was why it confused him in the first place when he sent his opponents sword flying as said opponent fell onto his ass - it had taken a while, but not forever and not much longer than most contestants would need. Was there really cheering for him, among bewilderment and less off the slander he'd ignored earlier? It was odd, winning felt good, horribly good but also awful to begin with. In the end, the match was won and he'd done his best - which had paid off, at least for people like Ethan. Ronan helped that guy back onto his feet, then parted aways with him and made his way back to Caelan. "I thought I was going to die. But ... I won?" After having that many problems with the entire situation, he'd expected everything but that.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Don't worry it's fine, you just surprised me.", Caelan laughed and shook his head. "I'm pretty sure you won't make anything up to me today, I bet after all this fuss with the tournament, you'll fall into your bed after lunch and sleep like a stone." Ronan was the one saying he wasn't going outside that much. Though he trained for this, he'd probably be exhausted when the fights were over, which was just fine, Caelan didn't expect him to spend the night awake, he just wanted to share a bed with Ronan, that was all. He noticed that they hadn't even kissed each other since he came here, which was upsetting, well... he'd change that later, when they were alone and not admits a crowd. Having to make all this a secret was probably the hardest thing about their relationship. "Don't worry about that, I want you to be safe, you needn't thank me." And he wanted to fight him as well... at least a little bit, but he didn't say that, because he didn't want to raise the pressure.

      "Sure, we'll go there and get you something, but remember the pain is there to remember you to not strain yourself too much.", Caelan nodded, it would be bad if he just hurt himself even more. "Good luck.", Caelan finally said while Ronan and Cameron crossed paths. Cameron boxed Caelan in his shoulder. "You didn't even watch!", he said almost disappointed. "I know you did great.", Caelan replied with a slight smile, his eyes briefly wandering to Cameron and then stayed fixated on Ronan and his fight. Caelan watched every move he made and Cameron stood by his side not commenting at all. Caelan knew he was surprised that Ronan didn't do bad at all, although his movements were limited which only looked like lack of experience, nothing more. Maybe people like Cameron asked themselves why Ronan attacked the way he did, but it wasn't evident, that he was hurt. Caelan clapped when Ronan had finally done it, even Cameron did. "Good job!", he smiled when Ronan came up to them, the blonde was proud of his boyfriend. "Indeed, I didn't see that coming, but Ethan is usually right.", Cameron said. "Are we going back to our seats?" Caelan nodded. "Sure, but Ronan and I will get something to drink for all of us first, right?", Caelan suggested, they all could use fill ups and Ronan wanted to go to the infirmary anyway, also just maybe he wanted some more time alone with Caelan, well as alone as one could be admits an event like this. "Sure thanks.", Cameron said and walked off and as soon as he was gone Caelan turned to Ronan again, patting his head briefly. "I'm proud of you. How does your wrist feel?"

    • Anxiety was replaced with adrenaline soon enough and now he was the one who was stuck wondering about so many things, it almost felt ridiculous to even consider his earlier feelings as something valid like he'd done before. What was he scared about, if not losing and being ridiculed? He wasn't like his father and he wished he were, hoped that his old man had an ounce of semblance in that brain of his and didn't think that his son was useless, that the fight he'd just won was in vain and that there barely was time for him to even congratulate his son before he'd be met with a sleuth of abusive words, hurled at him for being nothing more than a waste of space. Was his father even capable of leaving a good hair on him? Well, at least Caelans words rung true in his head and he felt like he was worthy of some praise, which was why a shy smile appeared on those lips of his. Ronan was tired already, maybe even a bit exhausted, but thankfully, he didn't break a sweat and the adrenaline helped him going as best as it could. "Right", he answered, swallowed whatever he thought was in his throat and then asked himself if it even made any sense to keep up this lie.

      The pat was unexpected, but Ronan wanted nothing more than to lean into it - and had to restrain himself from doing just that yet again. "Thank you, that means a lot", he chuckled, before he grabbed Caelans wrist and got going - this wasn't going to look too weird, wasn't it? "It hurts, but it's managable. I'll go get some painkillers from the infirmary for a migraine or something, if you want to join me." He didn't leave Caelan a lot of options and was already dragging him off - away from the arena, back to the house, before they made their way to a large, wooden door that stood heavy between them and the rest of the room, before he let go of the blonde and pushed the door open. A soft knock was enough to make, whoever was in there, rouse from his temporary slumber. "Yes? Come in", the voice said, croaked almost. Ronan opened the door and found a man, maybe roughly the age of his father, sit by a wooden table and sort some ointments into fitting containers. "Ah, mylord. What can I do for you?", he asked, eyeing the black haired noble for a second, that acted differently than just before he'd knocked, that was holding his head as if it was pounding and generally had a more crouched posture. "I need some painkillers, I think I have a migraine approaching", he explained in the feeblest voice possible, to which the man only responded with a shortlived sight, the shake of his head and then he got up, searching for a small cloth that was tied shut by a small thread. "I unfortunately don't have anything that will alleviate the pain for the time being, I ran out of ingredients and I'm waiting on a shipment. Take the contents of this small bag if it gets too much to deal with, mylord, but ... not all of it, unless you want to sleep for a good long while." He handed Ronan the bag, then eyed the blonde at the door. "And you, mylord, please see to it he doesn't actually take all of it, will you?" After that, he shooed both of them out again, closing the door behind them. Ronan staggered a few steps away from the infirmary, Caelan in tow, and then sighed. "Well, at least I got what I wanted but now I'm wondering about how much is too much ... oh, we wanted to get drinks, right?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan had never taken much of any medicine, he was the kind of guy that lived through the pain, embraced it even to remember his body to hold still for a second and to learn to never do something stupid to begin with. He hadn't gone get something, but Ronan was different and that was fine. Another reason why Caelan never took anything was, that it most of the time made him feel drowsy, weak and sleepy and he didn't want that, especially not during a tournament. He also doubted Ronan would use whatever he got very responsible, but that was just a hunch. Caelan didn't have much of a choice and just followed Ronan, though he would have anyway. Ronan seemed to be in higher spirits, maybe because he actually did win, that was good. His wrist must have hurt anyway, but they'd deal with it. Eventually Caelan stood in front of a wooden door and as Ronan opened it, he just stood put at the entrance, looking into the room and at the doctor. Ronan behaved completely different than just a second ago, he was quite a good actor, wasn't he? It made Caelan wonder... Well Ronan got kind of what he wanted that way and Caelan looked at the doctor that talked to him now. "Yes, Sir!", he answered although he was the one with higher rank here, still he was younger and anyway, it didn't matter.

      After the door closed behind them again, Caelan looked at Ronan and the bag in his hands, he didn't know what that was but... "Gimme that!", he said, already plucking it out of Ronans hands to have it for safe keep. He was pretty sure that Ronan would take too much in just a second and for now he didn't even need it. If it helped with the fights fine, but now he didn't have to dull the pain, he didn't have to use his arms even, so he wouldn't get anything of whatever that was. "Let's go get some drinks then, you could use some hydration.", Caelan nodded and already started walking, while he searched for a good place on his person to stow away the little bag. He'd given the old man a promise after all, didn't he, though a few instructions would have been nice. "So how did the fight feel? Good? Are you proud of yourself?", Caelan changed the topic.

    • For one, the doctor already knew him, almost knew too much about him, but on the other hand, who was he to decline the heir of his country his services? Of course they usually came at a price, but this time, the price was merely looking like a dying dog that ahd hit its head bloody on some sharp tool - and all to get something he didn't even want because he was certain it would split his skull in two when he actually took it. Sometimes, when he actually needed them, he didn't take any and other times, when he sat here and had to be patched up by this guy, they revelled in the silence they could gift each other - none of them was mentioning where the broken arm or the bloody nose came from and neither of them would talk much about his father, but they both silently acknowledged it. If Ronan didn't know any better, he'd think his doctor was actually concerned for him and his wellbeing, but was he really? "You're going to let me have some of that later, no?", he asked, almost a bit disappointed that the old man didn't trust him with administering this stuff to himself, but alas, he already knew that Ronan wasn't in the best headspace and wanted to avoid getting himself gutted because he provided him with the means he needed to kill himself.

      Wouldn't the pain be managable to begin with? It was dull and barely worth mentioning, but everytime he moved his hand - ever so slightly in a different direction - he felt his burned skin pull taut and he wondered if someone had seen, if his doctor had eyed him because he knew he was lying, or wanted to find something else than the faked migraine - but he didn't, because he'd hidden everything beneath those sleeves of his. "My mouth is dry as hell, so I might as well", he mused and followed Caelan around, searching for a good place to find some drinks and maybe even something sweet, although the sweetest thing he could have on his lips right now were those of his boyfriend and while he wanted it more than anything, he also didn't want Ethan and Cameron to die from dehydration or miss anything too important. "I ... I mean, it was alright? There's definitely worse, you know?" Ronan scratched the back of his head with his other, less ruined hand. "Should I be proud of myself? I'm just happy I won", he mumbled, grabbing Caelans sleeve and pointing to one of the tables with a variety of - hopefully not alcohol - on it. "Over there."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Yes, before your next fight I guess, if you feel like you need it. For now you should just not use that hand, I will carry the drinks, that's no problem.", Caelan explained, he didn't want Ronan to suffer, but he also didn't want him to fall asleep in the middle of a fight, he wasn't quite sure what that stuff even did. "And maybe tonight if it makes you feel better, though I'm sure your exhausted enough to just fall asleep.", Caelan added with a smile. Ronan would sleep very well tonight at least Caelan hoped he would and almost nothing could stop him from sharing a bed with him, whichever it was going to be, he didn't mind. Maybe the private rooms of the host were a little quieter and not so close to anyone to hear them or see Caelan sneak in. Well would it even be a problem to visit Ronan in his room? No one would wait if he'd come out again, or would they?

      "This was your first fight in a tournament and maybe your first time fighting overall, right? You did very good and you have a good chance of getting far, even more so if you weren't hurt. I think you should be proud of yourself, I'm proud of you.", Caelan smiled, though how things stood now he couldn't enjoy watching him like he had wanted to. He was worried he'd come out even more hurt, because something unexpected happened, or he didn't think about his wound, but it still was nice watching him move like that, smooth, elegant almost. He didn't look like a rookie at all. Caelan looked up as Ronan tugged on his sleeve and pointed him to their goal. "Right, drink something and grab a glass for yourself while I get the rest." Caelan looked around, at least it were big glasses and not so tiny fragile things they served in Lavern. Caelan wasn't sure if Orlando would show up again, but he probably had his own drink, so Caelan just needed to balance 3 glasses, which wasn't a big deal. He opted for some apple juice, because that was what they had before.

    • “Fine, I’ll try to not use it. If the pain doesn’t dissipate, I’ll bother you, though”, Ronan chuckled. Did he really, necessarily need all that? Actually, he doubted it and what was more, he wasn’t even sure if he’d end up needing it to begin with. After all, he as used to pain that spread throughout his body and he’d only rarely ever do anything against it - especially when he found himself back in his own hut and couldn’t do anything but sit it out. Now that all those bloody sheets were dealt with, he’d have to drag new ones down there and he’d eventually get rid of all those knives that were stashed away somewhere else instead. “I haven’t slept well in what feels like ages, so if I don’t come crashing down into my bed face first, I’ll actually be surprised”, he mused. That was that and truth be told, he knew as much - he knew he was going to die if he didn’t actually sleep well anytime soon and he’d rather avoid keeling over because of something so incredibly basic and stupid. What was he going to do? Hope for something better, more admirable than he had or wait for other things, namely a world free of hurt?

      “I’m glad to hear you’re proud of me, but ... you know, I have no goddamn idea how long I’ll be able to actually keep holding up. When I’m face to face with someone that fights like you or Cameron, or well, is you or Cameron, I’ll be ready to give up”, Ronan mumbled, but looked almost apologetically at Caelan. He had said that he intended to come out on top, but it was almost impossible to do it, simply based upon the fact that he - of all people - was the one trying to hide an injury. If he were to strain it, it would open back up and he wasn’t in for that, which was why he grabbed a glass of some sort of juice and downed it in one go - apples were fine. “Do you really not want me to help you? I think I can hold a glass”, he said upon looking at the blonde and took a new, full glass himself. Why were his parents so hellbent on hosting this event anyway? It wasn’t like they didn’t have their own, fair share of business to attend to so this seemed somewhat ridiculous. “Still, lets get going or your friends will die of dehydration and we can’t afford that.” In the end, it only was about having a good time and not about fucking all of this up, right? However, Ronan also knew he was in for a world of hurt either way and whatever he won the next one too was up to fate - if he were more like Caelan, stronger and more brutish, he could just mow his enemies down, too.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "That's fine!", Caelaan agreed, Ronan shouldn't have to suffer after all, but Caelan feared it would make him drowsy or he forgot all of the pain in the end and strained his wrist too much. "I hope you'll still be awake enough to let me in your room!", Caelan grinned though he lowerd his voice for this sentence. "Don't give up, just try your best, it'll be enough. This is your first tournament and you got through your first fight with flying colors. This is already reason to be proud of you. I'll be no matter how this end!" Caelan smiled and looked down on the glasses he carried. "No that's fine!" In the end they made it back to their seats, handed everyone something to drink and kept watching the fights, well at least Caelan was watching. Orlando showed up every now and then and the further the tournament went the more he feared to loose his bet with Ethan and possibly some other people. Caelan eventually had to fight Cameron, he was glad he was the one kicking him out of the competition. Cameron was good and Caelan rather kept on and fought Ronanm instead of seeing those two fight in the finale in the end.

      Caelan smiled from ear to ear when entering the battlefield and so did Cameron, though a lot more cocky. He was sure to win and made more than one joke before which Caelan ignored. This time around Caelan had more than a fun fight in mind, he had a reason to win and press on - namely Ronan. Caelan smiled in anticipation and he winked at Ronan just before the fight started. It could have been any girl in the general direction as well, but Ronan would know it was directed at him. The fights of Caelan and Cameron always were some kind of highlight and Orlando was busy running around taking the last bets up to the point the fight started. Caelan started quick, not playing around and get a feeling of the situation like he usually did. Cameron was surprised, almost missing to block the first two attacks, his eyes widened, though as soon as he gained some ground he grinned as well, he almost started laughing. Caelan didn't stop grinning as well, another attack followed, he put his strength into it and made Cameron sweat just a little bit. The black-haired youth tried to swipe Caelan off his feet, but Caelan jumped back in time. "Playing dirty as usual...", he smiled, Caelan just grinned and started the first attack of his own. Caelan with his blonde hair and blue eyes fought always fair and he had fun doing it, it wasn't about who won, it was about the act itself and he was thankful for everyone crossing his blade with Caelans. Cameron on the other hand wasn't just different from the Fhaergus heir because he had black hair and piercing eyes like the ones of a hawk, he also was in to win and he fought dirty sometimes. Nothing against the rules, but if an opponent got dirt into his eyes, it wasn't forbidden. They both had somehow gained some sort of fanclub and they'd always compete just like Cameron and Caelan did, it was kind of funny. Now however Cameron was charging at Caelan and they exchanged a few blows, both of them started to sweat and their breaths grew heavy. Fights with Cameron were always exhausting. They both were of equal strength but what made it worse was that they knew each other so well, it made it almost impossible to win with any kind of tactic, all that was important was who'd endure longer. Cameron tried to finish the fight with an exceptional heavy strike, Caelan blocked it, but tumbled back a bit, loosing his balance. Cameron used that opening and started his final blow. He thrusted forward while Caelan found his balance just in time to deflect that strike, deflecting all of Camerons strength into thin air, making him loose balance now. He tried to avoid falling, but he did and when he looked up Caelan sword pointed at his neck. It was over.

      The crowd went wild while Caelan helped Cameron on his feet, he still was breathing heavy, both of them were. Cameron was disappointed, but he wasn't a sore looser, not if Caelan beat him and so he congratulated him and declared, that at least he'd be the one drinking tonight and that he would find a fine lady for himself while Caelan had to prepare for the finale, with Ronan of all people as his opponent. Caelan was incredibly happy, proud and hungry. His wrists hurt, his body ached, he loved the feeling after a good fight. His fingers were stiff, they didn't want to hold any sword anymore, his mmuscles trembled, because apparently that had been a tad too much. Caelan took all of that in and wondered if Ronan felt the same after this long day and if he liked it as well, or if he just hated it. For now however he searched for him while the crowd was disippaiting, trying to find some food after the end of this tournament day. When Caelan found Ronan finally he still grinned from ear to ear, maybe he could have used a shower, but for now he just took him to the side for a second, letting all those people just walk past them, ignoring them. "Now that this is over with I... just want you to myself... how about finding some food and go to your room?", he asked whispering in Ronans ear, probably the adrenalin was still rushing through his veins, making him a little bit eager. But he wanted nothing more than eat something, talk maybe and then they both were ready for bed probably... or should they take a bath too?

    • All of it was exhausting - even keeping his eyes just glued on his to-be opponents. Ronan hoped he'd lose at some point, just so that he could sit back and no longer have to deal with all of this pain cursing throughout his whole body whenever he felt like he was about to make a shitty move, or when he made a stupid movement with that sword of his - but he didn't die from it, so it would be tolerable, wouldn't it? In the end, his eyes were glued on Caelan and he had the urge to hide his face when he was winked at - he really was a touchy, loving bastard, wasn't he? And Ronan couldn't believe him, not always anyway. Now that he sat here, his hands feeling like they were burning from all of the moving he had to do today, and his knees feeling like they were made of fine sand, he appreciated that fact that he could sit back and just watch for once, even though he'd have prefered to leave and grab a bite, fill his stomach with something, literally anything, and then keel over, back into bed and get a kiss, just one. That also meant, he'd have to get Caelan to come to his room and maybe even bring a change of clothes from his own, just so that they could spend the entire night together and - thank god - had a bit of seclusion from the rest of the place, because his room was - thank the heavens - not even all that close to the guest rooms.

      Caelan won, as expected - and that meant he had to fight against someone who exactly knew what those weaknesses of his were and how to get him out of his reserves. Truth be told, he wasn't a fan of the thought, but ... it was Caelan, Caelan played fair and unfortunately, using someones injuries to ones advantage was fair - revolting. "You want me to yourself?", he asked, smiling back at his boyfriend but still looking plenty exhausted himself. They both should eat something, then wash up and then crawl into his bed for some much needed cuddling and some physical attention for one another. "We'll get some food, we can take that to my room and I'll have a bath prepared for you in the meantime, how's that sound? And after that, I just want to ... keel over", he yawned, grabbing Caelans wrist with the hand of his that didn't hurt as much and dragged him around, back inside, to where all the food had been put up on different tables and platters, and just implored him to take whatever he wanted, taking some himself and letting go of his wrist, to carry his own platter. After all that, he asked a servant to prepare a bath for himself - no mention of the blonde - and let him off again, before bringing the blonde to his room and - as the door closed - quickly put both of their platters aside on his desk, before putting his arms around the blonde, tiptoeing and pressing a kiss to his lips. "You deserved that one, you did great."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan was so in love that Ronan dragging him along like this alone made him happy and excited. He admired his boyfriend from behind, marbled his tired movements and his determination to finally be alone after a very long day. Though the day had started very shitty for Caelan that was all forgotten already. He was so proud of Ronan to fight against him in the finale and he was glad he himself won against Cameron, what would Caelan have done if he hadn't?! Ethan was pretty happy too and Orlando had moaned when Ronan won his last fight, moving to the finals even before Caelan. Orlando hat lost a lot of money today and though it didn't hurt financially, he was a little bit scared of his father now.

      That was all unimportant however, Caelan let himself be dragged along and finally grabbed a plate to shove some food onto it - a lot actually, he had to get the energy back he used today. Caelan was able to eat for three persons, especially on a tournament day. With a full plate he continued to follow Ronan. He wondered about the bath conversation, but he didn't say anything, instead he followed his boyfriend to his room. This part of the mansion was not open to guests and so there wasn't really someone that could have seen too much. The door was closed and Caelan got his food taken from him, but instead received a kiss. The blonde wrapped his arms around Ronan, kissing him back. "About time...", Caelan chuckled, how did a whole day without a single kiss pass? "I had to win against Cameron... I had a clear reason to, so actually you helped me. Besides... you did great, very great, I'm so proud of you!", he smiled, another kiss followed. They both wear sweaty and dirty, both their muscles ached probably, but that was forgotten as soon as Caelan held Ronan in his arms, at least for a moment. "So the bath... is supposed to be for...?", Caelan now asked since he wasn't sure about the plan. Actually they both could use a bath, the dust from the training ground sticked to both of them, Caelan should have brought some clothes to change into at least... "Ronan? I... really am proud of you.", Caelan repeated a little bit less excited, instead he let his hand brush over Ronans cheek and gave him another soft kiss. God he mssed that! "I know you wanted to go to sleep as fast as possible, but... how about a little massage? Last time you didn't like it, but I don't want you to have sore muscles tomorrow and I want to do something for you..."

    • To finally find peace was important, but as much as he wanted to keel over and indulge in the warmth of Caelans embrace or even just his own bed, he couldn't - he needed to eat, drink and take a bath before he could slink back into the warmth of his blankets and try to convince his exhausted body that it was very much alright to fall asleep and leave behind the waking world that he feared and found himself to be a constant part of. What would he give for keeping his own existence a damn secret and what would he desire, if not the end of his life? It would save him the embarrassment of losing to his boyfriend tomorrow and maybe he'd find a real reason for his continued existence, especially if an afterlife of some sort existed - but what was he even thinking about? This ... wasn't what he should have on his mind, especially not when he was being held by his boyfriend and kissed back - just like he'd wanted it. "I'm sorry I had you wait so long", he murmured. How did he endure all this time without a single kiss from his boyfriend? "Thank you, but you did an even better job than me. I just had luck and a bit of adrenaline to block out some of the pain", he giggled, nuzzling his face against Caelans chest for a hot minute. He'd missed this, he'd missed Caelan.

      "Us. The servants are occupied with other things so they won't hang around here for too long, which means we have the entire bathroom to ourselves. And a bigger tub than in the hut", he proposed. Of course they didn't have to share the tub with one another, Ronan could simply watch and get in after his boyfriend, but he also needed to wash himself and hope that he didn't look too bad tomorrow if this night went on. "I like hearing that. I'm proud of you, too." Being seperated, if only for a few weeks or months, already had felt like an eternity and despite usually hating these events, Ronan found himself restless and excited for this one, wanting nothing more than for his boyfriend to finally show up at his doorstep, come into his home and then being by his side all the time. Just like a cat, he leaned into the blondes touch and kissed him back, wanted nothing more than to never let go of him again and be held until hell froze over - but he knew there was something else to attend. "Mh, lets eat first and then wash up. The food's going to get cold and if I lie down once, I won't get back up. Unfortunately, we both stink", and with that, he separated himself from his lover, grabbed his hand instead of his wrist and brought him to his desk, shoved aside some papers and got another chair from elsewhere in the room - he'd left that one by the window and lifting it up with one hand was more challenging, but it worked. "Dig in."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Don't be...", Caelan smiled moving a strand of hair behind Ronans ear, but then he hid his face anyway. Caelan held his boyfriend, stroking his back softly, he had been excited for the tournament and he had fun fighting of course, he also had fun spending time with his friends and Ronan, but to think he did all that instead of just cuddling Ronan the past few hours felt weird now. He'd not be in Alster for long probably, after the tournament tomorrow, maybe they should sneak away somewhere and have the rest fo the day for themselves, telling each other of their past weeks and cuddle. "Mm-m, you did great and you listened to my advise, you had it harder in his tournament than anyone else and you made it to the finale. If it still hurts, there is still plenty of... this stuff, if you need it tonight.", the blonde mused, having the bag from the doctor still with him. Ronan didn't need too much gladly and tomorow htey'd see. "I'm looking forward to tomorrow, you remember our deal, right?", Caelan grinned, a wish for a win, that was what they agreed to.

      "Ah... good then!", Caelan smiled. I didn't want to invite mysself in, but if it was your pplan anyway." Well that had been the answer he was hoping for, he didn't want to be away from Ronan any more time and enjoying a hot bath together sounded nice to relax their muscles a little bit. It'll probably not go like the last time, after all they both were tired. "Sure, one thing at a time, though I don't really want to let go of you, now that I have you in my arms...", Caelan murmured but he did let go and followed Ronan to that desk of his. He sat down eventually and looked at his plate. "You know... things like that seem so easy with you, I... think we're a good fit.", he smiled, not knowing where this came from now, but he just had to smile whenever they casually spent time together doing nothing significantly, like eating. For now he dug in just like he was told and as usual he ate pretty fast, but he also head to, since he had probably double the food to destroy. The mountain of meat, potatoes and vegetables was completely gone after a few minutes.

    • "You flatter me too much, Caelan. I only did what I could and it worked out for myself, so I'm actually impressed by that, you know?", he chuckled, happy with himself. He didn't need painkillers for this sort of thing, not here and now anyway, but there was no denying that both of his wrists felt like they were aflame and his entire body ached uncomfortably, mainly because of the tournament but also partially because he wanted nothing more than to be with Caelan, who he hadn't seen and felt in forever, which was why it was stupidly hard to figure out why that was, exactly. "Whoever wins gets a wish, yes - but don't forget you owe me mine, still. Or did you?" He'd have to find rope, but that wouldn't be hard in this manor, nor would it prove to be a difficult task to keep his lover down like that, or just hide from everyone else what they were doing. "Did you really think I'd let you off of the hook that fast? You have to take a bath with me, if you want to or not. I don't care." The blondes presence was enough to make him smile a bit more and the fact that he could actually come closer now that they were on their own, well, it felt heavenly. "I'd rather have it you'd stay here longer than a few days. Just so I can have you to myself."

      In the end, things like that weren't possible, simply because Caelan had no business in Alster, apart from this event and because Darragh would shoo every last noble out of this country if he had to, just so that he got a good nights rest himself and could stop caring about his image for a few days, nothing more. Ronan sat down next to Caelan and ate from his own plate, but wasn't even halfway done when the blonde had diminished his own food to nothing more than tiny pieces that barely fit on a fork - and again, he couldn't help but chuckle. "You were pretty hungry, huh?" There was a soft knock on his door soon thereafter and a feeble voice announced the bath was ready, which Ronan dismissed with a few simple words, telling the maid on the other side of the door that she could leave all of this to him and go to her own chambers, unless she had something else to attend to. Now, he was busy ridding his own platter from food by eating it and once that was done, stopped - he was full and he didn't want to hold anything anymore, which was why he pressed a small kiss against Caelans cheeks and got back up, only to walk up to that ridiculously large closet of his and open a few of the doors, looking for sleeping garments. It didn't take long for him to collect them anyway. "Sooo, do you want to go grab some clothes? I figured we could avoid getting back into these if we do, which is why I'm bringing these."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "You should be!", Caelan smiled, it probably did Ronan incredibly good to achieve something like that, something he thought he couldn't do and something that maybe also was important to his father for once. He could prove to everyone that he wasn't weak or sickly and even if he lost the next day, it was still impressive. Only because someone lost against Caelan didn't mean he was weak and maybe he even won, he knew? Caelan fought fair yes, too fair maybe, because he didn't want to force Ronan to let go of his sword, because he knew the angle he had to take to hurt his wrists. He wanted to fight him like he had no injuries, like it was planned in the first place. He didn't want to use his knowledge and the fact that he was close to Ronan, but Caelan wasn't sure if he managed that and if Ronan would be mad for him not taking the obvious openings. "No, no, a wish for a wish, I know and maybe you end up with too. I'm still planning to fulfill it!", Caelan laughed and shook his head, of course he didn't forget, he hated to be indepted to someone. "Okay master, I'll join you if you insist!", Caelan joked, he had planned to get into the tub together with Ronan anyway. "Mh... I'd stay if I could, but I doubt your father would be happy about that and I can't come up with a good reason to." Caelan sighed, seeing Ronan only every few weeks for a few days wasn't enough at all.

      After Caelan had finished he looked over to Ronans plate which wasn't empty yet. Allard had told him to slow down and eat like a noble, but it was only the two of them and so he didn't care. He almost started to laugh and wanted to say something when a knock on the door cut him off. He wasn't sure if anyone should hear he was in here, so he lowered his voice as soon as the maid was gone, chuckling instead of laughing. "I'm always hungry after a tournament, I need to get my strength back, don't I?" Truth was he was always able to eat as much, but he was also able to eat nothing for a while. When he was up on a mountain there wasn't always something to eat after all. Caelan got a short kiss and stood up smiling right after, watching Ronan go through his clothes. "I should I guess. I'd say I'll meet you there, but I don't exactly know where 'there' is... Well you can give me instructions and I go run for my stuff and hope no servants wants to keep me out of this part of the house. I can be sneaky though..."

    • "I should?", he chuckled in retaliation, maybe even some confusion. Ronan wasn't sure if he should - he mainly won because he knew how to handle his injury up until now and because he'd already done stuff that Caelan told him not to - and thankfully he hadn't seen, not until now anyway. After all, it was kind of hard to work around the injury all the time and if one saw an opening, a quick, painful feeling in ones wrist was nothing compared to a win in a tournament, especially if the fight would turn out to be endless otherwise. Hopelessness was nothing that Ronan wanted to overcome himself, therefore it was merely a question of time and a few other factors. "Alright then, but you know - don't hold back, okay? I know that you know my weakpoints, but I don't want you to act like you don't, you hear me?", he already made clear. Even if that meant he'd definitely lose, he could still dodge some of his boyfriends blows and drag the fight out for a few minues - unfortunately for him, he insisted on it being fair, simply because it should be, rather than ... what exactly? "Master? What are you? My puppy? My servant?", Ronan chuckled - were they back to playing senseless games? "If you let me, I'll try to come up with something. But ... I doubt you can feign sickness?"

      This proved more difficult than anything, simply for the exact reason that they both had their own duties to attend and that, while Ronan was quick to claim he was sick and only got ratted out by his doctor after everyone was gone, he didn't know if Caelan could even convince anyone, especially if he'd never done it before. "Actually injuring you is out of question, too", and that was about what came to mind - they couldn't just seclude themselves within the hut again. "Well, you did a good job and I guess you deserved that food! Good puppy!" Why was Ronan the way he was, and why were they playing these kinds of games again? He wasn't awake enough to actually deal with any consequences and he - frankly - wasn't horny enough to touch Caelan in any indecent way, but maybe that would change soon enough. "The bathroom is at the left end of this hallway, literally the last door - you can't miss it. If you walk towards the right end of this hallway, you'd have to go through the two doors and hallways we came from. And if you can't find your room, ask one of the servants there, they know everything. And ... if they question you, just say you have permission to pay me a visit, alright?" Ronan pressed another kiss to Caelans forehead and then made his way for the door.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.