sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

    • "You think?", Caelan laughed, that didn't sound very convincing and in this case they should be. Allard wouldn't ask him where hickeys came from, he knew well enough that Caelan always fooled around, so he'd just think it was yet another girl, nothing more. "My father most definitely will send no one home in winter when our passes have closed!", Caelan answered with another laugh. "It would be too dangerous, so if you were to get stuck there, well there is nothing we can do about it. You'd have to stay until the snow melts and my father will feed you and provide a comfy and warm bed, while treating you like the most important person out there. Also, he would not nag as much at me, so it'll be convenient having you there. Unless I'll drag you out and don't bring you back in one piece, then he'll probably kill me." It was important to Allard that every noble man or woman was feeling comfortably at his home and he wouldn't want Ronan to tell his father how badly he was treated in Fhaergus, Allard would pose no problem at all.

      "I guess.", Caelan answered grinning, he liked looking at Ronan altogether, so yes, his butt included. Actually he looked forward to seeing Ronan hunt, he wondered how good he'd be at that and how fast they would catch something. Maybe they should try by the stream, after all every animal had to drink at some point. However, Caelan had to knit his brows again in disbelieve and a little bit of anger. "How can you talk so casually about this?", he asked and shook his head with a sigh. "Please promise to take care of yourself, would you...?", he asked. Covered in his own blood? Maybe Caelans mind was making this bigger than Ronan meant it, but it didn't sound good, not at all. Well now he had it, Caelan would take extra care of him from now on, especially while being outside. Now they both moved outside and Caelan stretched for a bit, sucking in some fresh air. It was nice out here, there was still snow all around at it was of course cold, but Caelan liked that. Did they have to hunt right away, or...? Caelan took some snow of one barrell that stood outside, trying to hide it from Ronan. Then he formed a snowball. Of course he threw it at Ronan, aiming for his shoulder.

    • "Well, yes!", he answered. Sometimes, fooling his father was fairly easy, other times it wasn't, but in the end it would be up to Darragh whether or not he believed his son and decided that yes, it was alright for him to do the bare minimum of things or no, it wasn't and that he was hiding something that his father wanted to get behind. In the end, only time would tell and then they'd see whether or not Ronan would be the one forced to stay in his room for once, or if he still was allowed to go where he wanted, when he wanted - which happened rarely. "That's nice to hear, so Fhaergus can just as easily become my second home, huh?" It was even colder than in Alster though and truh be told, he'd probably have problems taking in the cold air and figuring out things himself if things went on, so he was glad he had Caelan and something like a promise for at least a warm bed. "How about you try breaking my arm, then? Not that I want your father to kill you, I just think that his reaction might be funny, especially if I say that it's not a big deal and it's my own fault?", he merely joked, but ... if the blonde were to kill him, it would be easier to accept that his life would end somewhere, wouldn't it? He knew that the life he was dreaming of was one free of hurt, but that also meant he had to die first and foremost.

      "You guess? Do you like my ass, yes or no?", he asked, laughing, as if he wanted a definite answer but wouldn't force Caelan to give him one if he didn't come up with one soon enough. Figuring all of this out was a matter of time, nothing more, but there were barely and problems to do so - he'd simply have to drop to his knees and have his mouth talk the talk while his body walked the walk, all of it just to get an answer out of Caelan for something so trivial. "I think it's because I don't really fear death and if it were to come get me one day, I'd accept it. There's one thing certain and life and that's death, sooner or later", Ronan answered, putting the key into his mantles pockets. "I'll promise to not crush my skull open on purpose, but if I slip on a plate of well hidden ice, I can't promise you shit", he said, meaning it - he wanted to die so bad, didn't he? The cold air went into his system and felt, all things considered, almost too thin and unbreathable, to dry and rid of all the oxygen he wanted, but he'd make do - he wasn't sickly, this just came from being inside so much, didn't it? "So, we should go t- WHAT WAS THAT FOR?", he yelled, almost immediately after the snowball hit. After that, he tossed the arrows and the bow aside and grabbed a fistful of snow himself, aiming the resulting snowball at Caelan. "Fuck you, Caelan of Fhaergus!"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Sure if you want it to be!", Caelan smiled, Fhaergus would always happily greet him with open arms, Caelan as well as his father, he was sure of that. Cameron had stayed more than once too and compared to him Ronan was just the son Allard actually wanted, so Caelan doubted he truly had something against him staying in the end. Even if, he wouldn't voice or show it in Ronans presence at all. If he wanted he could even have a room there permanently, or at least one waiting for him, always warm and never stepped into by any other guest. To have Ronan stay in Fhaergus over the next winter, maybe they could have an event there and then Ronan played sick or something to have to stay some more days and then whoops, there was too much snow meanwhile, Ronan can't leave, wouldn't that be nice? Though he certainly won't break Ronans arm. "I'm not going to break any bone of yours, ever.", Caelan said with a strict voice, Ronan should stop talking like that and value his life a bit more.

      "Are we talking form or maybe more the feeling when grabbing it?", Caelan asked as if making a science out of the question, just to avoid an answer. He liked his butt yes, but he felt like fooling around a little and making the question harder than it was. "You'd accept it, just like that? What about me? You'd just leave me here without putting up a fight?" Caelan meant the question more honestly than he should probably, he wasn't sure if Ronan joked, but he didn't want him to anyway. He ought to fight for his survival and for any more minute he could be spending with Caelan. If his life or his father got too much, Caelan would always help him out and if they had to run away, he'd do it too. "Well... that's good enough I guess.", he sighed, not really satisfied. Well but at least a little snowball fight wouldn't kill Ronan, would it? For a second Caelan wasn't sure if Ronan was really mad at him, but then he'd not have thrown one snowball back, right? Caelan ducked and grabbed another fist full of snow to throw back at Ronan. "Nothing in particular!", he laughed, this was just like him.

    • "Alright then, maybe I do!", he said. Ronan wasn't sure if he needed a second, or, well, third home. Alster was theoretically his first and that made Thria his second home, so adding another one would feel weird at best, wouldn't it? After all, what bound him to Fhaergus, if not the person he was learning to love? Although, a winter away from home sounded like bliss, like something he'd enjoy as much as wearing Caelans oversized shirt - so it wouldn't be bad, would it now? He'd have to leave his shell at some point and there was an opportunity in front of him, a blonde man his age, that stood there in the snow and was throwing another snowball at him and usually telling him about himself and what he liked about this world that Ronan seemed to despise so much, just because he had to live in it one way or the other. "But that's boring! Not even on accident?", he asked, as if breaking another persons bones was something common - as if an old friend would break someones hand when they saw each other again, simply to satisfy any underlying need. Yet, why was he so hellbent on Caelan actually hurting him when he viewed the blonde as his own save haven?

      "Whatever, I mean, you squeezed it, so you know best, right? I can't see my own ass from here", that was kind of impossible and Ronan didn't know why he should stare at it to begin with. In the end, why were they talking about his ass to begin with? Were they that bored? Was there no normal conversation to be had between the two of them? "If fate gets me, or karma, I can't do much, you know? Of course I'll try to fight my end, but I can't promise you shit." This was the world they lived in - he could die from a cold next thursday and would probably chalk it up to karma while letting it happen, but then again, he'd leave a puppy without his dear owner and that was, in many aspects, troublesome. "Good enough? I'm only being realistic - being idealistic has never helped anyone!" They were opposites, like two ice floes crashing into one another and just trying to make the best of it, yet, Ronan found himself helpless in Caelans grasp. "Nothing in particular? Do you want to fight!?", he asked, being hit by the snow yet again and grabbing another fistful himself to chuck it at Caelan. "If you want to fight, stop being a coward and come here to face me!"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Would it be weird to have Ronan live in his house for three months? Probably, but it wouldn't be bad at all. Ronan would have a great time probably, there was no work for him to do, he got a bed, food, Caelan and if they wanted some alone time, they could just go outside and Caelan would show Ronan all sorts of places. Maybe they also could visit the city, though Fhaergus biggest city would probably be described as a village by most. They didn't really have to hide but they could if they wanted to, Ronan would have only Caelans father to deal with, but he would shower him with kindness and his mother was no problem either. Hopefully he liked dogs, because Allards dogs were constantly running around in the yard and though they should actually keep unwanted visitors outside, they didn't do a good job, instead they played with anyone they saw really. Caelan found them annoying at times, but they were also pretty cute. "Ronan stop talking bullshit.", Caelan sighed, "Even if you beg me to break your arm, I won't do it."

      "It has a nice consistence and it also look pretty good, I think as opposed to mine it will also do good in a dress. Be careful no one grabs it at the ball.", Caelan laughed, though no one touched his boyfriend in Caelans presence, else he'd have to break a nose. Ronan could take care of himself though, Caelan was sure of it. "Just stop talking about dying, alright? That's way to depressing.", Caelan complained sighing again. Why was Ronan like that? He was young, he wouldn't die just like that, end of story. Even if what was the use of constantly thinking about it anyway? The next snowball hit Caelan as well and he shook his head. "A snowball fight is a ranged fight, you know?", he laughed. "You won't punch the rabbit we'll eat today to death either!" Though why didn't Caelan come closer? He grabbed another handfull of snow and formed a ball to throw at Ronan, while he ran over to him. It was only a few steps and when he reached him, he just grabbed him, throwing them both into the snow. Of course he was careful, cracking Ronans head open wasn't his plan at all, that would just prove Ronan right. "You sure you want to make close combat out of this?", Caelan asked, one arm supporting Ronans head. Playing in the snow was something Caelan would probably never stop doing, just as if he still was a child, or a puppy.

    • Would it actually be like a diplomatic visit or would he rather be treated like a visitor that everyone grew tired of after some time, then forgot about and just chalked his presence up to something, really, anything? Everyone would grasp at straws to figure out a suitable solution that at least sounded convincing, but in the end, the solution would be one of many things and many of them were - as one might say - not even worth it. Finding out about Fhaergus sounded nice, though, as well as more time to spend with Caelan was going to be a highlight, wasn't it? Once they'd find themselves behind closed doors, there was no one to interrupt them and they would be able to do things that they wanted - and all this was everything that Ronan wanted. As long as he could be away from Darragh it would be fine and he'd enjoy that time of his with Caelan, those numbered days that he desperately wanted to preserve. "Fine, I'll break it myself!", he said, almost as if it was a warning and yet, he didn't - not here, not now. Darragh would break it eventually, whyever that was and he'd eventually come to terms with having a horrible father - he'd accept that he was not needed, not loved and pain was the only thing he could be given.

      "Do you think anyone would be stupid enough to grab it? If I show up with you, would anyone even dare? You'd probably scare them off if you just put a scary look on your face", he joked. Was Caelan even capable of getting seriously mad at a random passerby oggling his boyfriend in a dress? Only time would tell and Ronan wasn't even sure if he would like spending the entire evening in a dress and higher heels than usual - but he'd make do, he promised his boyfriend as much. "Alright, no death talk. Lets talk about something else instead, your pick", he answered, wondering if the blonde actually had something up his sleeve. Depressing topics followed him wherever he went and once he'd opened up to Henry, he'd spill out his heart and the crown prince could do nothing but try to comfort him, which - often enough - didn't help, no matter how much either of them tried. "You're not a rabbit though, so get your ass over here!" What about their walk and the hunt? Well, he didn't even have time to think about it, because the moment something warm touched his body - namely Caelan himself - his world was sent spinning and his body tumbling. "Yes, I do!", he said, once he'd made sure they landed nicely and alive, before he pecked Caelan on the lips. "Try beating me!"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Don't you dare! Why would you even break your own arm...?", Caelan asked with a sigh. Ronan seemed hell-bent on having his arm broken, but why? Didn't he say he didn't like pain? Why would he hurt himself, because he did like it anyway? Or was there something entirely else behind all of this? There was no need for Ronan to be hurt, no need for him to be punished. Though Caelan could maybe understand the thought of wanting to be punished for those sins they committed here, actually this was just stupid. The whole world and maybe even the gods judged them for who they were, why would they judge themselves as well? That didn't make sense at all. It was fine for Ronan to be Ronan, just like he always was. "I don't want to see you get hurt. It hurts me as well, you know?", he softly said, sighing again, he wouldn't be able to bare if anything happened to him.

      "Do I look like I have a scary face?", Caelan asked, laughing again a little. He doubted he had one but appearing with Ronan together as his date should be enough to keep away anyone that was maybe interested, probably. Caelan was know to be strong and he was know to get into fights occasionally, though mostly it was only fun and he didn't even care about winning, or hurting anyone. Well it would prove to be fun having Ronan be at his side and looks on his body or butt where quite alright, after all anyone was allowed to witness what hot body Caelans boyfriend - or girlfriend in that case - had. Additionally it would be funny seeing straight men fall for a guy just like that. "Do you like dogs?", Caelan asked out of the blue. "My father has two, they are mostly in the yard." Maybe that was a sudden change of topic, but he still wanted to know. "Beat you at what?", Caelan asked with a grin and his cheeks turned just a little bit red after that very short little kiss. No one was out here, they were save, just like inside that little hut, right? Right... Caelan leaned forward, stealing himself a little kiss now, then he grabbed some snow and softly but quickly put it on Ronans head, rubbing it in his hair just a little bit. "Did I win?", he asked grinning.

    • "It feels like the right thing to do, does that sound odd?", the young noble asked, not knowing what answers he was looking for. Honestly, wasn't this similar to so many damned times where he hurt himself on a whim, where he stained white sheets with the color of life, the color of blood and fell into bed, blacked out from the bloodloss and hoped to never wake up again? Wasn't it the same with the many times he'd busted his skull open one way or the other? This world was cruel for keeping him alive, for having him wake every single time and have him look at what he did - and that was something he'd stand by, unable to free himself from his own pain. It was a pain to be alive, a pain to breathe and to continue pushing on and yet, he did so, because the body of his didn't want him to give in, didn't want him to die and lose his marbles fully - instead, he got to stay alive and continue that tortured existence of his. "Alright, I'll ... see what I can do about that, if that makes you happier", he sighed. Not, that he was naturally clumsy - he was inexperienced in many fields, but the countless cuts on his arms were easily excused that way, even if - in reality - he was killing himself.

      "No, but I'm sure you can look quite scary if you try." In the end, that was up to Caelans ability to deceive everyone around him and on Ronans acting skills, which were among his most prized possessions. How easy would it be to get guys to gawk at him, to lose their mind over a fellow man, simply hiding from the plain eye in a dress and some make-up? Would it be easy to spot him among the crowd, to single him out, or would they just gloss over the finer details and think of him as another easy girl without an important title or rank, eager to get into bed with anyone that'd be willing to make her his wife? "Dogs? I don't have pets, but some of them can be cute. Why are you asking?" The only thing he actually owned, in that regard at least, was his horse that he barely spent time with, unless he really wanted to go for a ride and come out here - and by now, it had grown accustomed to that, hadn't it? "This little game we're playing, of course!", he blurted out. Would his boyfriend even understand, now that they were laying here, already partially covered in snow? As he was kissed back, he felt like he was warming up - and suddenly had snow in his hair. Ronan grimaced at Caelan before he took a fistful of snow and pressed it against the blondes face. "Hm, almost I'd say!"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "It sounds odd, idiot.", Caelan answered with yet another sigh. He slowly moved a strand of hair out of Ronans face, brushing over his cheek almost as if by accident. "You told me you haven't laughed or smiled for years, I know that, I know it's hard for you to be you, but... all of that can change can it not? How much did you laugh since we met, how many times did you smile, hm?", he asked him softly, looking at his boyfriend, his hair covered in snow and if they would stay here for a while, they'd have a white blanket of snow over them at some point. "If you ever have the urge of hurting yourself on purpose, or if your father does, come to me, you know where to find me. I'll be there for you, I promise." This was taking a darker turn than expected, but it needed to be said. Ronan was the one not stopping to talk about dying or hurting himself, or being hurt. He was being hurt all the time as it seemed, not necessarily physically. Caelan knew how it felt to care so much about what a father said to his son, though he had coped differently with it in the past, with being angry and hurting himself and others as well in the process. Ronan needed to know that his father was wrong and he himself was right and that it didn't matter what he said and for the violence, Caelan was there to protect him. His blue eyes lay upon his boyfriend, worried and soon at a loss if Ronan didn't get what Caelan was telling him, if he didn't stop talking about doing what his father usually did to him, probably because he thought he deserved it.

      "Well I can get angry, but I tend to try not to be.", Caelan smiled. He mostly wasn't, there had to happen a lot for him to be truly angry at someone and the last time he was was years ago. Back then he was angry all the time, but he noticed that this was only hurting himself and others. He wanted it to stop and so he changed and grew up to become who he was now, having fun a lot and not taking anything too seriously. He was fine this way, he felt better. Ronan was different than him, but he as well could change if he wanted to, if he noticed that his father had too much control over him. "Well if you stay the whole winter, you'll meet my fathers dogs, so I wanted to know if that's fine.", he answered with a smile, only to shake his head. "I'm sorry, I don't know which game we are-" A handful of snow stopped him from talking, he even got some of it in his mouth and shook his head to get Ronans hand out of his face. Now his face was mostly red because of the cold snow. "Stop it!", he muffled against the snow and Ronans hand and saw no other way as to hide his face at Ronans chest. "Did I loose now or what?"

    • "I figured as much." What was it to him, anyway? Ronan was alive, as alive as a dead person could be and he hated almost every second of it. After all, it was hard enough to get up in the mornings, hard enough to keep that low blood pressure of his in check and hard enough to keep fighting against Darraghs wishes, but when push came to shove, he did just what had felt right - and that was, in fact, for him to get on his feet and crawl out here, in a godforsaken hut at the end of Alster, somewhere far away from the last lantern that a small village like Kilead could put up and then, he'd try to end that life of his, somehow. "Too often to count it. You ... just make me happy, alright? All of those things you say seem like they are going to help me, one way or another, and it's endearing to see you concerned about me or actually joking, not afraid about anything", he said. Ronan was aware that a lot of people despised him for simply existing, for being Darraghs son and Darragh was one of them. In the end, he could do nothing more than to bend to his fathers will. "I ... will. Thank you, Caelan." Ronan already knew he wouldn't, already knew that he'd continue to hurt himself - there was no way out, not yet anyway.

      "Not even when someone oggles your boyfriend and feels him up right in front of you?", he asked his fellow noble, almost sheepishly and ignoring those depressing topics they'd talked about earlier. What could they even do, except try and run and what was it that they wanted, except flee their normal lives? Out here, life was fine - and out there, it wouldn't be. Whenever they had to go home, this entire thing would turn into a bigger mess than it had to be, but everything would be normal again and they could start forgetting about the sins they had committed and the walls they'd breached. Would Ronan want that, actually, or was there something, somewhere he wanted to actually go to? "How are they like? I guess they're either guard dogs or hounds for hunting, but judging from what you are saying, they probably aren't aggressive", or were doing their job all that well, whatever it was, Ronan wouldn't mind. "Though, I have my hands full with a puppy right now and I wouldn't want him to get hurt when playing with older dogs, you know?", he chuckled as he looked at the blondes red face, now covered in snow as well - Ronan found it amusing. "Why stop it? You started! And ... yes, you could have gotten some more snow in my face, but you didn't! I want another kiss!" They should really get up and go hunting, though.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I am afraid of many things.", Caelan said, he wasn't fearless, he wasn't some cold idiot that either didn't care or didn't know what happened around him, but there were so many things unchangeable and Caelan didn't care about them, because their nature was just that. "You scare me when you talk like that, alright? I'm not shy to admit it. I only found you, your life's not only yours alone anymore. If you're not ready to cherish it, than at least keep going for me. I don't want to loose you and you sounded pretty serious, if it was a joke, then stop." Caelan grabbed one of Ronans hands, squeezing it and then pressed it against his own cheek, closing his eyes for a second to just feel his touch, albeit through some gloves Caelan himself didn't wear. "I want to continue making you happy... so let me do just that, you don't ave to do anything in return but stay alive." Caelan didn't expect anything, he didn't expect Ronan to actually be at his side, to love him back, or to touch and kiss him, he didn't care about all of that as long as Ronan stayed alive and allowed Caelan to be a part of his world. The seriousness in Ronans voice, the eyes that told a completely different story, it did scare Caelan and he felt helpless, because all good he had to say just scared Ronan. He didn't know how to actually help him and he didn't want to leave him alone.

      Caelan opened his eyes again and let go of Ronans hand. He shook his head, maybe a change of topic would be the best. "Anyone can look at you and be jealous of me, but as soon as someone lays a hand on you, I'll break him.", he answered growling as if the sheer thought stirred him up and he was much more than a puppy now, but more like a grown up dog that didn't want to share. He wouldn't, he meant what he said. He trusted Ronan not to run off with any other guy, but that wasn't the point, no one was to touch anyone who didn't like it and if it was Ronan, the person touching would have even more of a problem with Caelan. he never really had a girlfriend, so it felt odd feeling this way now, but he would absolutely never allow anyone else laying a finger on him in his presence. "They are hunting dogs, but my father didn't train them very well. They are good at hunting, but they are very playful as well, sometimes running off without a leash and rather play, than actually hunt. They usually get locked away when we have visitors, but that won't be possible for the whole winter. They won't bite you, but I just wanted to know if I have to keep them off of you, or if it's fine.", he answered, looking at Ronan with a raised eyebrow. "I'm not a real puppy you know? Besides... they never bit me once!" Caelan used his sleeve to wipe away some of the snow or what was left of it. The truth was he didn't retaliate and didn't start to rub Ronan snow into his face in the first place, because he never was sure how far he could go before Ronan got actually mad at him. "Alright, but my face is all cold now.", Caelan answered, leaning forward anyway. He gave Ronan a kiss, just like he wished, for once Caelans lips were cold whereas Ronans felt incredibly warm right now. "Maybe we should get going, before you start to get cold out here." If they weren't moving that ought to happen.

    • "You? Afraid?", Ronan asked, seemingly confused. Caelan felt like he was the most unwavering person one could meet - strong and dashing, not too full of himself and chivalrous, but even then, it ... was only natural to have doubts about this, to fear for so many things and not only oneself. When one sinned, there had to be two to commit a sin and therefore they'd both be punished equally, but that wasn't what Caelan was musing about, was it now? Was there actual fear present in those bones of his, an actual desire to flee this world and find something more suitable for himself or was this all just Ronan, interpreting too much into a simple situation? "Alright, it was a joke, I'll stop", he retaliated, laughing almost awkwardly as if he'd gotten caught for real - and he had been. Ronan was a liar, through and through and he'd do so whenever he saw fit, just so that people like his mother, his brother or Caelan would stop worrying about him, about his wellbeing. "Mh, no worries. I won't go anywhere, so don't worry, okay?" Where was this going to end? Eventually he'd have to confess that he'd intended to die long ago, that he didn't want to be any longer and that this existence of his had been futile from the start, but blurting that out right now felt wrong - Caelan didn't have to know.

      "Break him or break his arm?", he asked, confused. Breaking someone, a human, was but a simple task but that would take a bit more than few precise hits and a bit more than a fist to the face, whereas breaking someones arm was a demonstration of strength and allowed some freedom and yet enough pressure to mean it was needed. Being protected sounded nice, but the the day he'd get his boyfriend to hurt his father would be the day they both died and went down in their own way, away from the world of the waking and disappearing finally. Ronan ran his gloved fingers through golden locks, fixated on those kissable lips and the red face that the blonde was sporting, listening to what was coming from his mouth. "So it's fine to play with them, huh? I mean, I don't mind - and if you can protect yourself from bigger dogs, I'll let you play with them, too", the noble answered. Being part of Fhaergus for an entire winter felt like something that wasn't going to be easily accomplishable, but they both would just try and find a way, wouldn't they? Being apart from one another sounded stupid and somewhat dangerous, after all, they only wanted to be with one another, didn't they? "Sorry about that, but a kiss will warm you up!" And thus, they kissed again - like they'd been lovers for years on end, knowing fully well what helped and what didn't. "I'm not getting cold, but hungry! So yes, we should hunt for some meat and then come back!" And thus, the black haired noble wrested himself free of his boyfriends grasp and got up, before offering him a hand to pull him onto his feet. "You know, I'm glad you're around."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan looked at Ronan without saying anything, he was telling him just with that that he was serious. Maybe he wasn't afraid in a typical sense, there were things like certain death if they were found out, but he wasn't necessarily afraid of that, because he wouldn't want to change his situation and thus couldn't change the outcome, whatever it would be. But he was scared that Ronan did something he'd regret, that he did something that would leave Caelan all alone after he finally found someone who made him feel whole. Just the thought of it let Caelan grind his teeth and he was scared because he couldn't do anything about it, even if he wanted, he was helpless and could only hope that the bond he formed with Ronan was strong enough for Ronan to not leave Caelan alone just like that. It wasn't a joke, Caelan was smarter than people thought, he knew as much, but he didn't point it out. Ronan never telling lies was in fact a lie, but that wasn't all too surprising, the more pressing concern was, what else did he lie about? Caelan didn't say anything anymore and lowered his face just a little bit, for now he didn't want to look at Ronan, not with the face Caelan made right now, he just needed a second...

      His smile found its way back on Caelans face when he looked up, though maybe it wasn't all too fitting right now. "Well I'd better not kill anybody even if I want to, so I'll leave it by his nose probably, or his hand, that'll teach whoever a lesson." Caelan grinned as if there was nothing to it and truth be told, for Ronan he'd kill anyone trying to harm him, in the end maybe he'd even kill his father when he had enough. "So you don't have any pets?", Caelan asked, not that he had any of his own, but his fathers dogs were also his somehow. The topic was better than the one before and the kiss did feel warm, so Caelan enjoyed it, having his heart skip a beat once more, but this time because he couldn't shake off his worries and he knew that he couldn't bare missing this, because he lost Ronan, because he didn't take care of him properly. Caelan let himself be helped on his feet and smiled at Ronan, his eyes not really reflecting it, but what where those blond hair good for if not hiding his eyes. All the while he got some of the snow off his clothes. "Well... then remember that feeling.", he said and turned around to get going.

    • All things considered, maybe he shouldn't have pointed that out - this was going to make the blonde worry and that was something that Ronan wasn't exactly in the mood for. He was his boyfriend, yes, but then again, there was nothing he needed to concern himself with - Ronan could deal with his own feelings just fine and the fact that he claimed all this was a lie was, well, not really convincing, was it now? After all, one needed only a good look at his wrists under good light - like out here - and they'd see what he'd done to himself so far, that the fact that he didn't have any scars was a lie and that the young noble tried to cover up so much more than just simple things. Who was Ronan of Alster? A mess that kept to himself, that rather drowned in self-pity than to seek out help and that wanted nothing more than to finally disappear without a trace into the next world, so far away from home - if he died out here, they'd eventually find his corpse, but by then, he probably would have been dead for a while, after all, he sometimes didn't come home for weeks on end. Would Darragh be surprised over his death? Would his mother be? Probably not, they probably had a hunch as well and just were sitting idly by, waiting for their son to destroy himself - his existence was pitiful, wasn't it?

      "Lets hope you don't get into a fullblown fight to protect my honor, then", he chuckled. What honor was there to be had by a man in a dress, pretending to be a woman so he could spend time with his beloved? Nothing, so it was going to be futile anyway, but it was fine - being protected once was fine, wasn't it? "No, I just told you", he answered, scratching the back of his head. Was there any instance when he did have any? No, actually. Darragh didn't like to have them around and his mother had a dog of her own, but that was before Ronan had even been born - Declan was loud enough anyway. "I could introduce you to my little brother, though ... he can be quite a handful, but I have a feeling you'd be great with kids", Ronan mumbled, rather than actually saying it to Caelan. His little brother was clingy and easily impressed, so someone like his boyfriend - with his myriad of stories - would be someone he liked for sure. "Remember it? You're still around, I can just get it whenever I want." Right now, he grabbed the bow and the arrows again and then followed Caelan. Did he piss him off, or was he just imagining the blonde to be a bit gloomier all of a sudden? "You know, I'm kind of wondering if it will snow again or if all this will melt anytime soon, it's supposed to be spring ..."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Depends on the asshole that's touching you!", Caelan smiled. He never had felt the need to protect a girl, or mark her as his. He didn't claim anyone and if she kissed someone else the next day, after she spent the night with Caelan, he didn't really care, but with Ronan it was different. Nobody else was allowed to touch him, even if he wore a dress and looked so hot, that he fooled any guy around. It would be funny to see them drool over a guy unknowingly, but touching would be out of question, Caelan would not allow that. Even the attempt would be punished by a broken arm or nose, whichever was closer. Caelan was kind of ruthless in that regard and he'd probably not feel bad afterwards, after all Ronan was his and he was Ronans.

      "We'll see about that. So far I only really had contact to Camerons siblings, but every single one is older than him and than me of course.", Caelan explained. He didn't visit Orlando as often to have contact with his little brother, but Caelan didn't have anything against children, so why not. After all he was called out for his childish behaviour and even Ronan called him a puppy, so playing with someone that had kind of the same mental age should be easy. "Though after befriending you and not being welcomed in Alster anyway, would your father allow that even?", Caelan asked, then he had two sons affiliated with Caelan, which he for some reason didn't want to happen. "Remember it when we both go back home.", Caelan made clear, briefly looking over his shoulder to the tender figure following him. Well if they wanted to hunt they should actually shut up at one point. "We're close to the wolves land, are we not? Isn't it supposed to be cold here? However, spring is already showing, the trees already grow buds."

    • "Knowing you, you'll probably just beat up about anyone, though. Can't have anyone touching me, can you now?", Ronan asked, as sheepishly as he could - maybe having Caelan on his side wasn't a bad idea. If things took a turn for the worse, he could hide in Fhaergus and spending a winter away from home was alright - the only thing he'd actually have to keep in check was his mood and his constant moodswings, just so that Caelan wouldn't worry about him all the damn time. Of course it was impossible to not tell him at some point, but for now, Ronan had to make the best of it and therefore it wasn't a stretch to assume that he'd have to behave in every single way possible, just so that nothing stupid happened to either him or Caelan - it was as simple as that and yet figuring it out would take a while. Fhaergus was even colder than Alster during the winter and the snow fell thick and heavy, coated the entire landscape and turned it into a frosty place for a good few months, would he even be able to withstand the cold and all that came with it? Alternatively, he probably could just retreat to that room of his and spend half of the winter reading, right?

      "How many siblings does Cameron even have? I mean, I know he's not the apparent heir to Stenz, but ... is he really the youngest?", the noble asked while he followed Caelan, not sure where the blonde was even going. Shouldn't he be taking the lead and helping his guest around? Why the hell wasn't he, actually? Maybe because his boyfriend had longer legs than him and was faster anyway and also because he didn't feel like hurrying up. "Allow what? Meeting Declan? I mean, my brother is his pride and joy but if even I get saddled with him from time to time because he's so damn young, I don't think my father could even object to the three of us spending some time together, or at least me introducing you to this baby." Ronan didn't hate Declan, he was a pretty smart kid, albeit a bit entitled and loud at times, but what noble wasn't at the tender age of ten? They all thought that everything revolved around them, all the time. "Alright, I will." But would that really, truly keep him afloat? Ronan doubted it, yet he moved onward. "Well, it is close to Thria, but that doesn't mean that the tundra that makes up their home doesn't warm up either - it just takes longer, like Fhaergus, waking from its eternal slumber." Did he just call his homeland by its actual name and brush it off? Honestly, who cared?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Of course not, you chose me, didn't you? When I'm actually able to show that to anyone around without having to worry, then I won't let some dirty guy touch you and let him get away with it. It's disrespectful to both of us and it will have consequences.", Caelan answered with a smile as if he wasn't talking about breaking someone elses face. "I'm pretty sure you'll look dashing, so I almost cant blame anyone for wanting a piece, but I wont allow it still." For someone just touching Caelans girlfriend which he obviously had claimed was pretty dumb. He didnt really have a reason to get angry at someone for a long time, if he got into a fight, he mostly didn't take it too serious, but this was different for multiple reasons. First and foremost Caelan was actually serious about this relationship and not just bringing any person as his date. He still wondered if Ronan would even wear the dress though and what if Darragh would want to attend to? Well Ronan would figure things out. "Though here the only thing I have to protect you from are probably some wild bears or something like that."

      "He has two older sisters and eight older brothers, he is the youngest yes and his father is quite old already, but still fun to be around with.", Caelan explained. Whereas he did not have any siblings himself, Cameron had almost too many. It was common for people in Stenz to have so many children but usually not all grew up to be adults, that was a little miscalculation there as it seemed. Cameron had no interest in leading his country anyway though and his siblings were not eager to fight over it as well, though they did constantly try to prove their strength to one another, showing off their hunting trophies, or their scars. Cameron probably was the most vain of them, he loved his scars but he'd never let anyone touch his face, he was pretty proud of that. As the youngest he also could pretty much do whatever he wanted, he didn't need to keep in check all the time, after all no one was interested in the not-ever-going-to-be-duke of Stenz anyway. "Hm, dealing with your father is going to be fun I guess...", Caelan mused, not really sure what this would going to be. "Thria, huh? Is that how the wolves call it? You read an awful lot.", Caelan commented and suddenly just stopped. "I thought we'll have a better chance at the water, but then we really should shut up about now. Take the lead, you have the bow after all."

    • "I hope they won't send you home for that little stunt, then. Or at least I hope no one touches me." Ronan could defend himself, but while he could pack a punch, as long as he acted like Caelans girlfriend, he shouldn't try to be too obvious about it - unfortunately. So it actually was up to his boyfriend to defend him from any nasty guys, trying to touch him and feel him up, trying to gain a piece of him and making him spend a night with them instead of Caelan - and they didn't even know who the hell he was. "We'll see that once we get to it", he chuckled. He was a fun one, that was what Ronan was sure about, but Caelans expectations were a tad bit too high - if they messed up, they probably would have to cancel their plans and actually ask someone, actually invite someone into their little secret that would give them a helping hand and he wasn't sure if he could do just that with about anyone he met. "Good that I can protect myself as long as I'm Ronan of Alster", he said, sticking out his tongue, even though Caelan probably wouldn't see that. Were they still making fun of one another? It almost seemed like they were. "Who in the hell needs eleven children? Oh, well, it's Stenz after all", and Ronan didn't want to prod further. Cameron was someone he barely knew but ... wasn't it though having ten siblings and being the youngest of them all? Was this guy even loved? Who the hell knew. "Just don't kill him on the spot. And ... yeah, that's how the wolves call it. I should stop reading sometime and actually go outside." Lies, everywhere, weren't there?

      After catching up to Caelan and shutting up, it didn't take all that long until they came across what they'd searched for and Ronan was happy - his nose, his ears and even his fingers under those gloves were starting to get cold. Hunting down a rabbit was easier said than done in the end, but it sufficed for them to bring home one and so they did, which - much to his amusement - hadn't taken as long as he'd expected it to, which was good already. They took their time with making their way back to the hut eventually, but once they did and shed their excess layers of clothes, Ronan got to actually dismantling this poor rabbit to add to the broth and it felt so, so good to finally slide back into the warmth of the hut and not being out there, feeling every single fiber in his body tingle because he wasn't used to the cold. "Did I do a good job?", he asked, almost like a kid begging for his parents attention, before he chuckled - something about this was stupendously funny. "Tell me I did a good job and give me a kiss!", he demanded, still chuckling and skinning a dead rabbit - this was actually much easier than expected, especially when he could feel his fingers, though, he didn't care if he ruined the wood in his little kitchen, he could clean that up, couldn't he? "Though, it was nice going on a hunt with you, even though it was short."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan didn't say anything anymore, simply because he didn't want to shoo away Ronans pray. Instead he just let him do the hunt and slowly and quietly followed him. He was better at this than Caelan had expected, though he'd never voice that, instead he just smiled at him when he proudly presented their caught food, holding the rabbit on it's ears. Ronan looked a little bit cold, but still they strolled around a little bit more, looking at nature and having fun. Caelan loved being outside and Ronan looked like it was okay for him too. Still, as soon as he looked like he was going to freeze, Caelan suggested going back, which they did. Ronan was also the one that prepared the rabbit, though Caelan would have also done, but he had no chance to lay a finger on it, Ronan was being faster than him. After he put away his coat and shoes, he cared for the fireplaces instead, adding more wood to keep the hut warm and coming back to their previous conversation. "Sorry I shut you up before, you asked about Stenz right? I told you the story about that one scar, where Cameron and I were out during a storm, which is a tradition in Stenz, right? So usually not all children survive this, it sounds cruel, but that's why they usually have more. None of Camerons sibings died however, so now he has a big family.", Caelan explained putting some more wood into the fire, then standing up.

      Caelan looked at Ronan standing in that little kitchen of this, the rabbit on the counter a knife in his hand. Caelan was kind of surprised Ronan knew how to skin an animal, but then again he was out here alone at times too, so he needed to know. Caelan could have gotten used to this, living out here, just the two of them, but that wouldn't be possible. Now Caelan moved over to his boyfriend though who seemed so proud to have caught their food for the day, almost as if he didn't think he'd do it. Caelan wrapped his arms around Ronan, pressing a kiss on his cheek. "You did an awsome job, that was pretty fast and you only needed one shot." Actually that was kind of hot. Caelan looked down at Ronans bloodied hands, watching him prepare the rabbit for lunch, or breakfast, whatever, they didn't have breakfast but now it was kind of late. "We can do this more often. If you're into hunting trophies, I'm in as well.", Caelan smiled and now pressed a kiss to Ronans neck. "Just dont cut yourself now."

    • The cold temperatures were enough to do him in overnight, Ronan was sure of it, but he refrained from even voicing his thoughts in that regard - instead, he was happy once they could go back home and the fog started to dissipate. While they were out here, there was no one and nothing to interrupt them and their continued existence was merely proof of the fact that they got along quite well, that Ronan enjoyed being out here and could take his mind off of things that would usually plague him for days on end. Caelan was like his own, personal sunshine that kept him afloat, that didn't question anything - just asked what he needed and provided it, without questioning why that was. "So his father was just kind of unlucky that all of his children survived and not a single one bit the bullet? I mean, it's easier for him that way if he loves them all - their lives aren't wasted, but on the other hand, maybe he shouldn't have had as many in the first place", Ronan voiced as he seperated muscle fiber from skin and fur, knowing fully well what he was doing. Poor rabbit, wasn't it? Maybe it had a family of its own, out there somewhere, and now he was being gutted by a slimy noble that wanted nothing more than his own death.

      What would it be like to only concern himself with trivial matters of having to cook, clean and attend his boyfriend? Wouldn't that be something for a housewife? Was Ronan of Alster a housewife? Well, no - but he wouldn't mind being one, in all honesty. He'd have enough time to indulge in those books of his and would have more of a purpose than whatever he had now, so he wouldn't mind being claimed by Caelan and just assisting him with everything he needed, but that thought was foolish, especially when one was holding a knife in bloodied hands and wondering why, before realizing there actually was a dead animal on the kitchen counter. "I'm glad I didn't fail right infront of your nose, you know?" Sometimes he fucked up because he got nervous, or because he felt like he had to be a tryhard, but ... Caelan wasn't like that, his presence actually calmed the young noble and the kisses made it even better. Subtle goosebumps appeared on his skin soon thereafter - was his neck sensitive? No, that couldn't be it - it was about the praise. "I'm sure we could use trophy hunting as an excuse to spend more time together, you know", he mumbled as he tossed the severed skin aside, cut off the head and went back to remove the innards. "Cutting myself? Don't be silly ..." Actually, all of this blood made him unsure whether or not he hadn't already cut himself, but nothing hurt, so it was fine, right?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.