sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

    • Caelan closed his eyes, he needed a moment or two to find back into reality and feel here again and not like he floated in an endless sea. It wasn't a bad feeling actually and he rather felt that way a while longer, but he had to become a decent human being again at some point, or not? "I... rather practice sooner than read up on all this stuff... if you don't mind...", Caelan said, especially after this experience now he wondered what was in store for them still, how would it feel to be even closer, to be able to occupy his hands otherwise while filling up Ronan completely... he was blushing again and now was not the right time, not right after what they just did and for now all he wanted was to relax a bit with Ronan in his arms. They couldn't change the fact that they made a mess anymore, so as long as it didn't start to feel disgusting, they could spend some more time cuddled up together, right?

      Caelans hand which was not sticky and wet found its way to Ronans neck, slowly caressing him there, playing with some strands of hair, twanging on it ever so slightly. "I'm glad you liked it...", Caelan answered mumbling, pressing a kiss on Ronans head. Actually he was relieved, though he didn't know why he was worrying so much in the first place. He was Caelan of Fhaergus, of course Ronan liked it! The slight touch on his back felt nice and his body still felt heavy. He also noticed that the smell emanating from Ronan hair was pleasant as well and the slightly sour and sweet scent coming from Ronan being messed up by Caelan was empowering. "I felt good as well... I'm not opposed to... do something like that again, even if you're teasing me again. Actually that was pretty mean...", Caelan chuckled and pinched Ronan in the side, just a little bit, just to make his point more clear. "I'd like to cuddle with you some more and then... well I guess we should clean up. After that's done, would you mind taking a short walk? I feel like heaving a breath of fresh air."

    • Leaning back for just one moment and enjoying whatever one was offered - wasn't that what he desired? Wasn't that what they both wanted from one another? Ronan had no idea who Caelan was, because, in all actuality, he wasn't much more than who he wanted him to be, no? Taking in the very moment, becoming someone he ought to be as he got stuck in nothing more than his own daydreams - that's all he needed to stop making sense. Right here, right now, it didn't matter if they were lying around in their own filth - only the sun was witness to their sins and the snow, two things that'll be unable to say anything, to anyone - that didn't have the ability to impart knowledge to another living being that could, maybe, rat them out and for once, Ronan was glad he was out here, almost all alone, so far away from so many people. Initially, he thought he'd die in this hut one day and be found once his corpse was frozen stiff and all the evidence had been absorbed by the old floorboards or any of the formerly white sheets. Now, he wasn't so sure about anything of that. He was here with Caelan and he'd come back here, but it wouldn't whisk away his depression. "Practice? ... Sure, if you ... want to ...", he mumbled, pressing a slight kiss to the patch of chin on Caelans chest that he was pressing his face against. Why not? What did he have to lose, except his virginity?

      "Mhm", he mumbled, not willing to get a move on and instead enjoying every single touch he was offered - Ronan didn't mind, not once, he liked being touched and made no damn secret of it. Caelan could have all the power over him that he wanted, Ronan would never mind - except when he felt like he should be winning, when he wanted to win something that wasn't even a damn contest like this just now. But he beat the blonde to it, had the upper hand and he didn't seem to mind. As long as he didn't have to face, or well, eye Caelan, he had been fine, but as soon as their gazes met, it had been over and that had been evident. The thing that came after that was, to be quite frank, an embarrassment that Ronan didn't know how to deal with, at all. Not in the slightest - and thus, he paid for his inexperience and now they were laying here - spent but in a good mood. "What was ... mean? Spell ... it out, will you?", he chuckled, knowing fully well that there were multiple offences that he'd committed. But which one had been so mean, even Caelan had to mention it? Well, who knew. "Hey!", he exclaimed as he winced once he felt the sting in his side, shortly before pouting and looking up to the blonde. "Cuddling first ... everything else later."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Caelan chuckled silently, while he pressed Ronan against his own body a little more, holding him tight. If Ronan wanted to leave, of course he would have let him go, but the strength he put into this embrace was probably enough so Ronan would have to struggle to get out, if Caelan didn't want to let go. "Maybe we need some more alcohol to not be embarrassed all the time.", he joked, but they rushed their kiss and what followed without being so hesitant and now that they had their senses back together, they both where shy. What did they actually want and what were they ready to do? Was this pace fine? Today they didn't do more than on the night of their first kiss but it had felt differently, good, but not as easy. Sharing those feelings that rushed through Caelan body with Ronan felt better than he expected and at the same time he wasn't able to contain his own embarrassment while their encounter in the bath tub had felt like no big deal at all. He was still a little bit confused about what was going on with him, but he knew that he wouldn't want it any other way.

      "You know... if there is anything you want or... maybe some critique, I'm willing to listen.", he said, still worried about how he did, if it felt good and what would have been better. Since when was he so insecure? He never had problems with that, just did his thing and was pretty sure that he did it well enough, but on the other hand, he didn't know that intercourse that they just had could feel like that. He never felt this way, not with a single girl, he never had begged for anything in his life and now he lay here, begging Ronan to touch him and to make him feel whole. He always wandered if he acted like a man should which was part of the reason he had so many girls and the reason he even felt this insecure probably was, that he always knew, that he liked men and not women. Now that he was evident, he didn't know how to act exactly, was it fine to stutter and have a face red like a tomato? Was there even a point in questioning this when every second he spent with Ronan was considered wrong to begin with? "Exactly that... stopping and letting me spell out what I want like that.", Caelan answered with a smile. He wasn't mad about it at all, he had teased Ronan before as well, this was only fair. He looked down at Ronan who in turn gazed up to him. "I could stay in bed with you all day..."

    • Wasn't this nice? Wasn't this just what he needed after being alone for so long? Well, this was - in reality - nothing more than every damn desire he could have had an for one, he didn't mind, plus, this was actually nice, actually endurable - wasn't it? Ronan wasn't sure why he grasped at straws to have Caelan warm him, to justify to himself that this was fine when - in reality - this was more than fine. Whatever rules there were, they already had forgotten about those anyway and what followed suit was nothing short of blasphemy in all its glory, so why not amp up the pace and move on? Well, Ronan wasn't keen on rushing into things head first and right here, right now, the world felt like it had stopped moving and like the only thing he could feel was the soft touches Caelan offered him up and that was alright. "So you suggest we pick up a few bottles and get drunk?", he asked, interested in the idea itself but that would mean they had to clean themselves up and then break their promise, ride back to Kilead and see if any of them even had wine for sale. Not, that the people of Kilead didn't have wine, but they rarely bought in bulk and every so often, they ran out of things once winter had hit the country and they stayed in their secluded village, far away from everyone, out here, up north. But this wasn't something he wanted to concern himself with right now, instead he cuddled up to Caelan and brushed across the skin he'd touched earlier.

      "Do you deem that necessary?", Ronan asked, all high and mighty on that high horse of this that wasn't even there to begin with. Playing with Caelan felt like it was mandatory, but only so that he could show him his affection and only so that they could be close to one another, wasn't it? But in the end, they all hit a dead end sooner or later and when that happened, they'd have to look for something new. Ronan was pretty certain he'd be unable to entertain himself like this forever without actually facing Caelans wrath and he was most certain he'd also, never again, truly understand what it was that forced him to just obey every word he was being told. Well, in the end, it was for the best to not ask, to just accept it and lean back, cuddle up to Caelan and face his own fears eventually. "That's mean? Caelan, you've never seen me actually pissed off or peeved, that's when I'm mean. I'm just teasing you", Ronan chuckled, nuzzling his face into the broad chest before him and resting there. "Well, theoretically we don't have to leave it soon. It would be more comfortable if it was a larger bed, but at least we have some alone time out here, without having to worry about anything or anyone, so that's nice. And you're so warm, too ..."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Did it even make sense to clean up this mess? Well... probably yes, but this wouldn't be the last time this happened, did Ronan have enough sheets for what they may have planned here? They couldn't exactly dry the sheets outside, not with this cold, they would just freeze and there wasn't unlimited space in here, but was there a way to not make a mess? Not really... lying in their own filth wasn't attractive either though... this was a complicated matter somehow. Maybe he should have taken Ronan in the bathtub again, or press him against the small kitchen counter... what was he thinking? He was still recovering from their last turn and he already thought about touching Ronan again, what was wrong with him? "No, that was a joke silly.", Caelan laughed and pressed another kiss on Ronans head. "it's probably better to be ourselves, at least for all the first times we have coming, don't you think?" They were drunk during their first kiss and somehow it felt like they cheated... Caelan wasn't against getting drunk, or having sex drunk, but not right now, not when they were still trying to figure out how the two of them worked together and Caelan wanted to remember all those things clearly, not through some fog.

      "I... well, if I'm able to improve and make you feel even better, that's only positive, is it not? I know you had this one fantasy... well, it didn't feel like the right time and we wanted to agree on a sign to tell me if I'm too rough, right?", he asked. It didn't seem to fit to put his hands on Ronans throat this time, actually he wasn't sure if it ever felt right, but especially now he didn't even have both of his hands available. Also Ronan had to be able to make him stop, in case he didn't like it after all, or it hurt too much. "I know. I mean you don't want to scare me away, while I'm spoiling you with my touch and kisses, right?", Caelan retaliated with a grin. Ronan had wanted this as much as Caelan himself, he wasn't able to hide it in the end and he'd just hate himself if he actually got mean and pushed Caelan away. Caelan wasn't even sure if Ronan would be as mean as he could be towards Caelan ever.

    • How many sheets did he have left? How many of them were bloodstained and ready to be burned alongside the wood in the fireplaces? Maybe he should do that, once Caelan was asleep, just for the fun of it and actually getting rid of the evidence he had laying around everywhere. The only harm that had been done was to himself and if he'd argue, he used it to maim a dead deer for dinner, the blonde would eventually see through it if he found five or ten of them - whenever he came here from the manor, he dragged new stuff with him and never cared about the old ones, stashed away so that nobody would find them unless they sought them out and that meant they knew they were there. "So no more wine for us? Buhu", he complained but - obviously - didn't genuinely mean it. Ronan could do what he wanted and lo and behold, it would lead to situations like these regardless. Though, escaping the grasp of alsterian wine was alright; usually, it tasted horrible compared to whatever they had a few days ago and one would notice that the people of Alster weren't really that good at their craft, or advanced, when they could just brew something different, something stronger, that left a lingering burn and warmed one up from inside out. "Mhm, we should get to know each other anyway."

      What did they know about one another, except pretty basic stuff? Some stuff would only be revealed by time itself, but other things didn't have to stay hidden forever - they'd crop up eventually and have to be confessed, or were generally understood from the start. However, what would he do about the sheets? "I'm going to critique you when I need to, but rest assured, you did a fine job", he chuckled and then peered upward, receiving the kisses and soft touches by leaning into them and for once, Ronan asked himself what it was that had turned all of this into such a mess. Was it that he had to endure himself, or even the weight of the world on his shoulders any longer, or was he free to go eventually? Was this everything he needed, just Caelan, or did it suffice if he eventually would obey his father, marry some airheaded girl and then never talk about all of this again? Whatever it was, actually, why should he care now? His biggest problem were the dirty sheets and where to wash them, hang them and dry them ... maybe in the bathroom? "I'm not going to scare you away - but commanding you is fun, I have to admit it. I'd like another kiss, actually."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "We'll have plenty of occasions to get drunk, at least I'm not intending to leave it by just this one week together here.", Caelan smiled and it didn't have to be wine in the first place. "When you're visiting Fhaergus we could taste us through the bottles my father has in stock, or if you want something stronger, we'll visit my uncle, he makes his own booze from time to time, but trust me... it's good for getting drunk but for nothing else, it tastes horrible and your throat will burn for days." Caelan was about fifteen when he tasted it the first time, of course his father never got to know it, he would have killed Caelan and his uncle. As soon as the liquid touched his mouth he regretted it, but he swallowed, because he didn't want to be a pussy. He coughed for about ten minutes straight afterwards and his uncle laughed at him, well... it was pretty funny. "Hmm... do you want to ask me something?"

      "Fine? Just fine?", Caelan asked laughing, but actually he was glad to receive a compliment like that. While during there first kiss Caelan considered Ronan to be the one not having a clue, now it was different. Ronan hadn't done any of what he read himself, but it seemed like he had acquired quite a lot of knowledge and he wasn't scared to test it, or so it seemed. Caelan wasn't sure how Ronan really felt, sometimes it was easy to read him and sometimes it was quite the opposite. Caelan himself wanted to try new stuff but there was no need to overdo it and in fact he was scared he was pushing too far if he just started trying what was written in that book. "And what if I don't give you one?", he now asked, trying to win too for a change and he also was curious what Ronan had in stock. He didn't give him a kiss, though he kept holding him tight.

    • "You're quite bold, aren't you? Well, I don't mind, as long as you try some alsterian alcohol sometime. It's better than the wine we had, at least for me, but we'll see." Caelan was from Fhaergus and whereas Ronan liked to claim he was drinking some heavy stuff from time to time, he was sure that Fhaergus would be able to offer up something evne worse. The country was frigid and something had to keep the people warm during the colder months, so why not some moonshine? It didn't help the young noble with his depression, but Caelan seemingly did and therefore he wasn't afraid of getting drunk with him either. "Wine is nice and all, but I doubt it'll actually help me get drunk unless the people of Fhaergus know how to make wine and your father has an entire batch he's willing to sacrifice to us. As for your uncles moonshine - if he offers me some, I won't say no", he chuckled. When was the last time he'd gotten his hands on good alcohol anyway? Definitely not the last time he'd been drunk, aside from what happened a few days ago, which would have been mere months before their encounter. Back then, he'd done nothing more than to slave the day away at his desk, taking care of nonsensical chores and then - eventually - found his way to a few bottles of booze, took them back to his room and eventually revelled in them when he had some time for himself, away from the public eye. "Hmm, no. I can't think of anything right now. What about you?"

      It had been a full on disaster and thank god he'd locked the door. At first there was sobbing, then there was blood and a whole mess to take care off and then he felt sick to his stomach and had passed out, probably in his bed, only to wake up in the middle of the night to throw up. Ronan didn't regret it, but he'd felt disgusting afterwards and had cleaned the mess up by himself as soon as he could, as fast as he could. "Do you want praise, puppy?", his voice was firm and he peered upward, his look stern. Then, he chuckled and nuzzled back against Caelans chest, as if he was just playing a role. "You did a pretty good job, just don't get lost in thought the next time. I'm playing with you, not going to hurt you", Ronan explained and pressed a slight kiss to Caelans collarbone eventually. Right now, he wanted nothing more than his lips on his own, but instead, he was met with resistance, which made the black haired noble chuckle. "If you don't want to give me one, I'll take one and if you don't allow that, you'll be punished. As simple as that, isn't it?", he elaborated and then, eventually, just wrested himself out of Caelans embrace ever so slightly and softly that he could peer upward and press a kiss onto the blondes lips. "See?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Sure, I'll try what you have to offer. About my fathers wine... well it's not Fhaergus wine, he has a whole cellar full of vintage vines, most are from Myriad or Lavern, some from the south, they are pretty sweet, sweeter even than Laverns. It's okay to grab some bottles as long as we keep away from the shelve in the back. I mean... he's going to lecture me about it, but I won't get into real trouble for drinking some bottles with you. Fhaergus doesn't have the climate to produce a lot of grapes, so we rather concentrate on beer and the hard stuff, if you're looking for originals. My father doesn't drink any of that, but my grandfather had a selection of liquor too, we could taste some of that as well.", Caelan explained, was he getting into too much detail now? There they were again making plans. "No concrete question, no. I guess we'll figure each other out eventually, after all we do talk a lot between kissing too."

      "I'm always up for receiving praise, but if I ask you for it it feels kind of forced.", Caelan answered, he wouldn't get rid of being called a puppy, would he? Well he did try to please Ronan with everything he did, so maybe he was just a loyal little puppy that didn't know anything and just wanted attention. What was Ronan if Caelan was a puppy? His thought seemed more Independent, so for now Caelan continued with kitten, but he didn't say it now. "Lost in thought? I was not really capable of thinking straight to be honest.", Caelan chuckled just a little bit embarrassed to admit that. Ronan had occupied his thoughts but there was nothing concrete he could have grasped, just him, everywhere, him being his world for those few minutes, swallowing reality as a whole and leaving him with nothing more than Ronan himself. How did he do that? Caelans blue eyes wandered downwards and after the short kiss he smiled. "Well I let you kiss me, this time.", he answered even more curious now. "You'll be the one who has to beg for the next one."

    • "I have a lot to offer but ... I hope you won't be disappointed. As for your fathers wine, don't sweat it - we'll find something we like either way, and if we have to stick to something that isn't wine, I won't be disappointed." Theoretically, did it even matter what they drank as long as they would get drunk from it and have the time of their life? For one, Ronan couldn't see himself being like this - usually, he kept to himself, was reclusive and not all that interested in all this stuff. Why even devote himself to these things? Was this meant to be another act of rebellion, another act of love, or simply something else? After all, there was a slim possibility that everything he was trying to do was to spite his father, that Caelan was just a tool that he'd use to justify his plan and that there was no real chemistry between them, wasn't there? In the end, Ronan didn't know, didn't grasp the concept - maybe that was false, maybe he truly was in love with the blonde without knowing much more than formalities about him, but why was he so sure about that? Was there any end to their journey or anything else? What were the means of their continued existence alongside one another? "We talk until we can't and then we'll talk some more, how does that sound?", Ronan asked, fully aware that this statement sounded silly.

      "Well, making you beg for things is fun, though", Ronan chuckled, ruffling through the blondes hair all of a sudden. Why was he doing this? No idea, but he was enjoying it and that was everything he needed - that was everything they both needed. In the end, why did it matter what they were doing and why was it so hard to grasp that there were so, so many things that they couldn't do without being in seclusion? Nobody would ask where two young nobles went, nobody would even suspect a thing - they could say they'd gone on a hunt, or tried their best to forge a future cooperation, but if someone wanted to see fruit of their labor, they would be unable to provide exactly that. "It was nice having the upper hand, you know? I wish I could have looked at your face a bit more, but that's something I have to work on anyway." In the end, it had caused him to become embarrassed as well and ruin the illusion - Caelan had won, somehow, in a last ditch effort and yet his fellow noble wouldn't give him that, oh no, Ronan wouldn't. "This time? You were the one who said he would be unable to keep his hands to himself, so I'm guessing it's the same for your lips. I dare you to make me beg, without any foul tactics."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I'm not that picky, don't sweat it. Also, we have a lot of wine down there and rarely an occasion to drink it, people aren't keen to travel over our mountains, so we rarely hold events in Fhaergus. It is a pain to get a fancy carriage over the pass without it having a scratch or two afterwards at the very least. It drives my father mad as well actually, I'm waiting for the day he stores some fancy thing in Alster or Lavern to switch to it when traveling to an event.", Caelan chuckled, he himself actually liked his secluded country, away from all of that drama that happened all over Adrestia. Of course they took part in it when traveling to those events, but they somehow were not around it all the time and in the winter months nothing had to concern them anyway. "And here we are talking already, without having to think of questions first.", he pointed out with a happy face, getting to know each other seemed easier than expected.

      "Hmm... for you.", Caelan said, but actually didn't mind at all to get teased by Ronan. He didn't want to make it that easy for him, so maybe he had to work on his self-control. One single touch mustn't be enough to have Caelan on his knees in front of a noble of same rank. The appeal of seeing someone else beg for a kiss or something more was however understandable, Caelan liked the idea of Ronan begging as well, though he wasn't exactly sure if he was able to, maybe he should be the one tying Ronan up and not the other way around. "Mh, you did have the upper hand, I give you that. But at least your face was as red as mine, if not more so. I'll make you look like that again, don't worry." The teary eyes, the red cheeks and the ragged breath, all of that was enough to rile Caelan up actually, why was Ronan so damn attractive anyway? "Well, to have you beg for a simple kiss, maybe even on your knees, I think I can refrain from kissing you from now on until I get what I want!"

    • "I heard travelling to Fhaergus is a pain in the ass, especially when it's getting colder. My mother always seems excited about it, but the incessant whining I've heard about having to take a smaller, less luxurious carriage from a bunch of people feels surreal. They all have horses and know how to ride, but no, they can't dirty their expensive clothes, can they now? Some of our fellow nobles should know better than to act like spoiled children, but a lot of them show that they are just that - a bunch of spoiled children, rotten down to the core and used to be served every last grape on a silver platter", Ronan sighed, getting into an argument that wasn't even there. Did they disgust him? Yes. Was he better than them? Not necessarily. Did it matter? Probably. Here he was, complaining about this world that he felt so detached from and yet was a part of - could he get any more hypocritical or was this the peak of all things already? Was Ronan bound to slave away endlessly, in a place he claimed as his own home or would it be the opposite? Only time could tell and in the end, why was he even trying to survive? "Like I said, we'll talk a bit until we can't and then talk a bit more", he mumbled. Caelans warmth and embrace made him feel secure, loved even and who was he, if not a sucker for soft things like these?

      "You like tickling me and having me make a fool of myself, don't you?" Not that Caelan was mean to him or needed a nudge against his ribs, but Ronan gave it to him either way - this was embarrassing, wasn't it? They both were playing with one another, unwilling to give in - unwilling to give up. Why were they still laying around in this bed, acting like it was alright for them to be who they were? Was this, what divine punishment felt like or was it simply that Ronan was trying his earnest to accept all of this by himself? There was nothing to be repulsed by, nothing to run away from or hate - and yet he acted like he was the one who had just discovered he liked Caelan, who hadn't even thought of this as an option and who pined for someone entirely else. A mess - Ronan was just that, nothing more - someone who rather hid behind a layer of insecurities than to come clean. "And that's a threat and a promise, isn't it? Well, I'd love to see you try and once you manage to, I'll give you what you want. But right now, you're the one that's been at my mercy most of the time." He liked having the upper hand, being able to do what he wanted and getting Caelan to do his bidding - it felt like it was something he'd been searching for for so long, something he wanted to have so bad. "On my knees? Stop dreaming, the one who's going to get on his knees is you, if you want to or not."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Well, the roads are bumpy and hard to maintain, some roads are nothing more than dirt roads, due to the fact that the frost ruins the street during the winter and we had sledges that destroyed the whole foundation and we had to build a new road somewhere else. We have a lot of travelers and merchants getting stuck on the mountain passes, especially shortly before we close the roads before the winter as well. Especially for heavy carriages it is hard to get it moving again once it's stuck, so I do understand people don't really like our roads, though that sounded worse than it actually is. After all all the merchants make it through all the time as well. Anyway, it sounds like you've never been in Fhaergus, even if we had an event at my home. Did your mother always come alone?", Caelan asked, if Ronan never had seen Fhaergus it was more reason to have him visit Caelans home one day. Caelan remembered visiting Alster, though he didn't remember Ronan or his family, after all those events were always the same and Caelan spoke to those he liked or his father forced him to speak to. Ronan and his father were not on that list apparently.

      "You mean I like seeing you fall out of bed? I'd lie if I'd say it wasn't funny. Hey! Ouch!" Caelan laughed, Ronan hadn't been all too happy to fall on his butt back then, but it still looked funny and Ronan was so ticklish as well... "Though I prefer you panting because you like what you feel over anything else." There, wasn't it easy to be cocky and flirty? Yes it was and why did it become so hard as soon as Ronan had laid his hands on Caelan? He would never figure this out as it seemed. "Most of the time? Are you sure? What about the time we were drunk and you begged me to touch you already and yesterday in the bathtub?" Caelan still laughed and only stopped shortly to stick out his tongue. Yes Caelan had been bagging just minutes ago, but that meant maybe a single point for Ronan, while Caelan had gathered two already! "So... we probably will never kiss again, because we both want to show dominance and not be the ones begging first? Am I assuming correct?", Caelan joked though it didn't seem that far off. Caelan already knew that he'd be the one giving in at some point. "I'm going to get on my knees for your wish maybe, but that doesn't count."

    • "Still, our fellow nobles complain a whole bunch - I doubt you've ever heard someone like your dear friend Cameron whine about getting to Fhaergus, but what about some of your fathers business partners? They probably never shut up about how unfortunate you are to live in a country as small as yours and as secluded as it is. I'm sure it gets tiring." Alster wasn't very different from Fhaergus - they shared the cold, frosty climate and they all found enough to trouble themselves with once winter came. Their people were accustomed to the cold and one might claim that it already had seeped into their hearts, had made them hostile and forced them to be who they were - cold and frigid, just like their country. "I rarely go to events, unless I know Henry is definitely attending them or my father forces me to. I don't think I've ever been in Fhaergus, or at least I can't remember it. As for my mother, no. My father usually tags along, busy networking with other people - but I know that she sometimes talks to your father", he explained. Saoirse did talk about Allard of Fhaergus, almost as if the two had known each other for a while - actually, she'd mentioned that she wanted to introduce him to Caelan once when they were younger, didn't she? And as stubborn as he was, he'd refused and stayed away, out of fear that his father would punish him for something as silly as that.

      "And here I thought you'd learned your lesson", he sighed, but laughed equally as fast as his mood had seemingly dropped - they were both poking fun at one another and why should he mind? This wouldn't be the first or last time something like that would transpire, Ronan was sure of it. "Caelan!", he yelled, almost embarrassed over what he'd just heard. Pictures flowed back into his head and his face started burning up again, so he hid it by pressing his face against Caelans chest. Wasn't this just wonderful? Ronan needed a bit to wind down, to get rid of the excess embarrassment that he felt and once he did, he pinched the blonde once more. "Might I remind you that you were equally drunk and could have just said no when I offered to suck you off? I'd say we're even on that one. As for the bathtub, you don't have any shame, do you?" He stuck out his tongue at Caelan as well - didn't that mean they both were even? Well, someone had to turn the tides eventually, but right now, he didn't feel like it, he didn't want to move a single muscle. "Yeah, no kisses, ever again - can you survive that? I know I can." Ronan knew he could, at least for some time, at least until tomorrow, right? "Who said anything about my wish? You'll get on your knees regardless, trust me, puppy."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan had to laugh yet again and shook his head. "To be honest, I don't listen to people I don't like, so it doesn't bother me even if they say something like that. You're right about Cameron, he doesn't care at all and Ethan and Orlando wouldn't dare say it even if they thought that way.", he answered truthfully. Caelan just forgot encounters with people he actually didn't have to deal with and he could overlook comments like that. Allards was the same, he'd even apologize for the inconvinience. Caelan liked Fhaergus nontheless, even if he was imprisoned almost a third of the year. "Well then it's time for you to visit my home someday soon!", Calean announced smiling, though he doubted there will be an event in the near future. "Well she's the douchesse of Alster, it's only normal for her to tak to my father especially since she's from the Alster bloodline and not your father" Caelan didn't really pay attention to the people his father talked to but it might be he got introduced to Ronans mother at some point, Caelan couldn't say for sure though.

      "Without rewards which I've gotten none so far, I'm not learning anything!", Caelan retaliated complaining, but also tuning in in the laughter, only to turn it into a chuckle when Ronan yelled his name with such indignation. It was easy to fluster Ronan with such has words, didn't that earn him another point? It was fun anyway and Caelan wasn't sure if Ronan could do the same to him. The blonde slowly caressed Ronans head while he calmed down, knowing fully well how his face looked like in this moment. "Excuse me? Begging for something and receiving something without complaint are two different things! If anything you almost begged me to get into my pants and put your lips around my dick!", he announced laughing and at least that was what he remembered. He didn't have anything against it, but he did not beg either. "Should I feel shame because I relieved you in the bathtub? You didn't complain there either... well maybe afterwards because we came out dirtier than we went in." And here Caelan was wanting to kiss Ronan, maybe only because it was somehow forbidden now, by himself. Actually it was forbidden all the time, but he didn't care about their religion or their law. "Sure I can!", he lied chuckling, he just needed to be stronger than Ronan. "I'll watch you try getting me on my knees, as a reward, maybe I'll forfeit from the kissing contest and let you have that win too."

    • „You just ignore them? I wish I had that kind of talent, I really do. Instead, I take everything they say to heart and well, it doesn‘t necessarily make me a better person, you know? In the end, there‘s only so much some halfhearted words can change about me“, the noble mused, still listening to the blondes explanation of his very own dilemma. They both weren‘t exactly blessed by the heavens, but for one reason or another, they weren‘t as stuck up as their parents wanted them to be. Darragh wanted him to hate Caelan like he hated Allard and yet he was here, somewhere in nowhere, in a hut with a person he‘d consider his lover, his boyfriend even. „Henry doesn‘t visit often, but when he does, he never complains either - but his visits are rare and formal anyway“, Ronan sighed, knowing fully well that they rarely had time to focus solely on their friendship. Whenever he found a chance to slip out of his schedule and all the way to Alster, he just wanted nothing more than to forget his role as a crown prince and yet, nobody let him - nobody except Ronan, that was. „You wanted to show me around anyway, so maybe I‘ll just tag along after the next event, how‘s that?“, he asked, knowing that he had other duties to fulfill - that he couldn‘t just leave and do nothing whenever he pleased. Thus was the world he lived in. „What do I know, maybe they‘re old friends. Either way, I‘m glad that she seems to get along with everyone that my father hates.“

      Just like him - he didn‘t want to say that Saoirse pampered him because she did, in fact, not but compared to Declan, she was the one that doted on him more than his father. „You know that punishment also works wonders for learning, yes? And also, what did we just do? Wasn‘t that a reward?“ Was Caelan testing his patience or merely feigning being offended? It had to be the latter, there wasn‘t a chance it was something else, was there? The sudden touch felt warm, almost welcoming - so unfitting for the words that spilled out of the blondes mouth. „And here I thought you said you weren‘t gay, or might I remind you who insisted he wasn‘t on his first night together with me?“, Ronan chuckled, then stroked the blondes arm. Weren‘t they both sides of the same coin? „And who‘s fault is that? Yours? Ours?“ Again, why exactly were they discussing this? Was this meant to be a competition among themselves, something that they never could tell anybody about? „How generous you are - though, I‘d suggest we wash the filth off of our bodies before we do that, or else we‘ll feel miserable.“ The only problem was, that he didn‘t want to get out of bed - not now, and not in the next few days. He wanted a kiss and he wanted Caelan to lose. Now, how would he do just that? „Hmmm.“
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "You're fine just like you are, there is no need to change anything because some people deem it necessary, after all you can't make everyone happy anyway. I'm not saying you shouldn't listen to anyone, but you can choose who you listen to, people you know and people who actually know you. As for me, I can't change anything about Fhaergus anyway, so why would I care? Other than that, I wouldn't change much anyway.", Caelan answered and of any people Ronans father was probably still the wrong one to listen to. It seemed like he just hated his son, just as much as Allard despised Caelan in some way, there was no use listening to someone who'd never be happy. "I still think it's weird you call the crownprince by his name like that!", Caelan chuckled, even he was raised well enough to know that he shouldn't do that. "Sure, I'll show you around and you can stay as long as you like!", Caelan smiled. It would be weird if he asked his parents now to host some event, he never did that, so he would have to wait for his parents to get the idea themselves. "I'm asking myself if your father hates who your mother likes or it's the other way around... or nothing like that at all." Caelans parents seemed like they came along just fine, but he couldn't be sure. Everyone thought Allard deemed Caelan as the best son he coul wish for and he clearly was not, so why wouldn't his parents play a happy family in front of their son as well. His mother though was never really engaging in any important stuff anyway, that was all his father. Caelans mother was more of a housewife, planning events, buying clothes,... stuff like that.

      "That? A reward? You've got your fair share too and I had to beg, that's hardly a reward!", Caelan whined, but still he was pressing Ronan closer as if he was able to protect Caelan from Ronan himself. "What does punishment look like then?" Somehow he was curious, but in the end maybe he shouldn't try to get Ronan to just do it. In the end it wasn't just making him scream his name in bliss, but the other way around... no Ronan wouldn't actually hurt him, but he was surely able to punish him somehow. "Well I can't just run around and tell a stranger I'm gay, can I? That's dangerous, a lot actually!", Caelan answered, it was dangerous. Even if Caelan had knew, would he have told Ronan? What if he had told his father or the king, Caelan would be dead by now. "Yours! Don't be so damn cute and hot at the same time, then I don't need to touch you all the time!", Caelan joked, leaned forward and bis Ronan in his neck, while his hand brushed over the soft skin on his back. "So if we don't get up and wash ourselves, I don't have to be scared about you somehow forcing me on my knees? Maybe I'll rather stay here then!" Caelan laughed again, he did a lot when around Ronan as it seemed. "Are you thinking about a way to have me lose?"

    • "I ... that wasn't what I was intending to talk about. But thank you for the encouragement, it's ... nice? I'm still not great with receiving praise or something similar to it, it just feels weird, you know? Also, you may be unable to change things now, but there'll be a time when you can - prepare yourself for that and don't forfeit your authority", the black haired man answered, fully aware that they both had their very own problems - things that they rarely had a chance to deal with, no? Insecurities had seeped into their bodies and brains and now they were talking about things they might as well have no idea about, but it was fine, it really was - as long as they could give each other some happiness, maybe even a place to call home, but now Ronan was reaching, too far, too fast. "Henry? He's my friend! Maybe even the only one I have, but I wouldn't dare address him as such if he hadn't insisted I call him by his name and not his title." Ronan wasn't all that open, let alone easy to persuade sometimes and thus, it took some time to call Henry by his name, not his title, but eventually, that stuck - and yet, he never dared to use his name when he wasn't alone with him, despite spilling the beans to Caelan earlier. "You can show me around Fhaergus, I'll eventually show you around Alster. As for my parents, I think it's ... hm. My mother has her own friends and my father has his, if that makes sense? Interestingly enough, they either like someone the other hates or don't even know they exist."

      Darragh probably lived a life of deception and lies, Ronan was sure of it, but he had nothing to prove his claim, no matter how deep he dug or how hard he prodded, there was nothing. It almost felt like as if Darragh had let his past disappear into thin air, so that nobody would ever come in contact with it, to save himself from having to explain things. "It is? Caelan, you whine about so many things - do you want me to reward you for real? For that kind of behavior?", Ronan asked, chuckling. He coudln't kiss the blonde, couldn't do much like that, but he could at least touch him with his hands, carress his skin and cuddle up to him, just like he shouldn't. "You want to know what punishment would be like? Well, I can show you, but I have to get up for that and probably throw something on, which - in turn - means, I have to clean myself." They both were still lying in their own filth and lest he forget, he should actually get up and maybe use a damp cloth to avoid having to fill the damn tub again, didn't he? "Well, it is - but what's more comical to me is the fact that the great Caelan of Fhaergus, of all people, whored around all this time and then realizes he likes men instead." Ronan, on the other hand, wasn't even interested in sleeping with girls. Maybe, he'd thought, it'd happen eventually - but no, he lay there, in Caelans embrace, and was his, fully and wholly. "I ... excuse me?", Ronan couldn't contain his laughter. "I'm cute and hot, and these things are to blame for your horniness? Give me a break", he cried out, barely able to catch himself between his laughter and form those words. "That's not how that works and OF COURSE I'm thinking about how I'll get you to submit to me!"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "You're just too hard on yourself most of the time, I have to be the one praising you, if you don't do it yourself.", Caelan smiled, there was no need to listen to a father that hated him from the start, he'd never be happy, no matter how much Ronan tried, Caelan knew that all too well. "When I'm duke I won't change things because some nobles don't like our weather." He laughed again and if nobody visited Fhaergus because the journey was too hard, he actually didn't care much about it. Maybe that will change in the future, but he didn't think so. "I know he's your friend, but it's still weird to hear it, after being told a million times to be polite should I ever talk to him, call him by his title and not say something stupid... ny father tells me every time we go somewhere he might be too.", he explained. For now he never spoke to the crownprince and Caelan was sure his father was glad about that fact. He already anticipated Caelan to fuck up. "How's the relationship between your parents anyway? it sounds weird, not that I'm sure what my parents think about eachother..."

      "Well you are the one throwing around promises of rewards and in the end I'll have to endure time without them, of course I whine! I think I earned another reward for being so so patient all the time!", Caelan continued, not actually meaning it. Still, Ronan seemed to have baited him with a lot of rewards which Caelan didn't get so far and he only wanted them because he was curious.At least he felt Ronans hand on his body again, that felt nice. "Noooo... don't get up! I wanna keep holding you!", Caelan moaned by the shere thought of Ronan moving away from him, maybe in the end they had a second round before getting up, at least they wouldn't waste their time cleaning up twice. "Well I...", Caelan actually didn't know what to say, Ronan was right about that. "Well it... you know... I felt like I had to do that... being a normal guy and such.", he murmured, looking back it was pretty stupid wasn't it? At least Ronans laughter lightened up the mood again, not that it was bad at the first place. "I mean... how could I not touch this body...?", Caelan asked and at the same time let his hand crawl over Ronans skin, he scratched him slightly and leaned forward to kiss his neck. "But you have no idea how, hm?" Maybe Caelan should win this kissing game fast, he continued his kisses on Ronans neck and collarbone, while pressing him on his back into the mattress. Caelan leaned over him, kept going and moved upwards with his kisses, past Ronans chin and finally he stopped, his lips almost touching Ronans. "Tell me I'm hot too and you want to touch and kiss me...", he requested.

    • "And what is there to praise, exactly? I still have a long way to go", the noble mused. He wasn't wrong, he still had a long way until he'd be able to follow into Darraghs footsteps. Did he even want that? Become a duke? Maybe it was easier to become an aide of Henry, a scholar secluded at court, revered for the things he did and not for the title he once had - wouldn't that be a good life, too? In the end, would his father even mind if he'd forfeit his right to the title to Declan? "I doubt you have as much authority over Fhaergus that you can tell the weather to do your bidding", he concluded. They weren't gods, they weren't powerful - struggling mortals at best, in a world ripe with sin and so many more things. Ronan knew, for himself at least, that it was futile to even attempt any conversations about fake gods or dying immortals - people believed what they wanted to believe in, what they had to believe in and if one didn't, they'd surely simmer in hell once they'd be burned to death for heresy. "Well, your father is right - you do have to address him by his title. As for me, I'm exempt from that. If you're a nice puppy, maybe he'll let you drop the formalities", Ronan chuckled. Henry wasn't as stuck up as he was, maybe even sought out social contact from time to time, but in the end, they both found themselves alone, sitting next to each other and reading a book. "My mother leaves the manor during the warmer months to go and take care of her business somewhere more quiet. I think that says something? Either way, they get along, but sometimes need a break from one another. That's nothing new, though."

      In the end, Saoirse could only hope for Darragh to die, sooner or later. Maybe he'd do well to choke on some poison, mixed into his tea - but Ronan wasn't that cruel or depraved and didn't want to lower himself to his fathers standards, who disposed of those he had no need for sooner or later, one might say. "If you continue your incessant whining, I'll see to it that I'll punish you right this instant. So be a good puppy, or suffer - the choice is yours." Truth be told, what was this going to end in? Actually, Ronan suddenly felt like getting up, like getting that damn rope from the probably damp basement and tying Caelan up, letting him struggle a bit and ignore him ... did he have candles? He'd have to look for them, but he was sure there should be one, around here somewhere. "Demanding, are we? Alright, then." A small smile made his way onto his face, signaling that he was completely fine with how this was turning out, but also unable to keep his eyes or hands off of the blonde, now that he belonged to him. Ronan wasn't good at this, either, it seemed and just thinking about having to get up felt like agony again. "Don't you mean you idolized Cameron a bit too much and did what he does? Nobody is forcing you to whore around and sleep with every girl you can find." He wasn't wrong - nobody was forcing him or Henry to do this kind of stuff and he was fairly certain that they weren't the only nobles their age that didn't exactly sleep with every girl they found attractive. "My body? What's so good about it, anyway? I guess it's smooth from the lack of scars, but ... that's about it?" Caelan was fairly good at baffling him, too - especially right now. Ronan flinched upon feeling those lips on him again, the kisses soft and unexpected, bringing some color back to his face already - and his heart was beating fast enough, too. "I'll ... come up ... with something ... anything", he said, his eyes locking with Caelans - he couldn't do anything, except feel how helpless he suddenly was, except feel Caelans breath against his lips and his words, rining into his ears. He was so close, so so so close. Should he give in? He had to, didn't he? "No", he mused as he stuck out his tongue.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.