sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

    • "You're smart, smarter than me most likely and you are caring at least for your mother and brother as well as your country, or are you not? You have a sense of duty and you are diligent. I think that's a great start for a noble that ought to be duke some day. Should I continue?", Caelan asked with a smile and calm as ever as if everything he just said was plain obvious. Then he chuckled and shook his head. "I don't think I could call the crownprince by his name even if he asked me to, it feels... weird? Much like calling your teacher by his first name even though he wants you to, you know? My father had forced this one thing into my head, I think I couldn't even say his name in your presence alone." How often had Allard told him and how often had Caelan have to tell him he understood? It was etched in his brain after so many times, like a barrier he couldn't break even if he wanted. "Hm... why did your mother marry your father anyway? He seems like an asshole to me and your mother doesn't even like him apparently." Was Caelan too blunt here? "You don't have to answer."

      "Hey! I'm not whining I'm just claiming my right to all those rewards I got promised for already being a good puppy! This calls for an revolution! " Now he even called himself a puppy and he continued whining, well he didn't mean it, but he was curious if Ronan stood true to his word and what it was Caelan would get punished with, maybe Ronan tried to tickle Caelan in retaliation? "You like to stay with me as much as I do.", Caelan pointed put, snuggling up to Ronan and giving him another kiss, this time on his shoulder. "Well it wasn't about Cameron I think, I just felt left out when he and Orlando talked about a girl walking by and... I kinda though I... I dunno, that I would understand somehow? I know it sounds stupid, I probably knew I'm gay all along but I didn't want to admit it to myself.", he explained with a short sigh. He really was an idiot, wasn't he? He rather concentrated on Ronan again, eyeing him like an eagle. "Your pale and perfect skin reminding me of the snow of our home, your dark hair very much in contrast to it, as well as your mysterious dark eyes. Your red lips standing out like a rose pedal on a heap of snow and have I mentioned I like the smell of your hair...? Should I keep going?" He asked softly, still being close to Ronan like before, looking into those dark eyes and hearing him press out the words like he did. "You'll better be fast before I win and your efforts go to waste.", he answered and wondered if he should keep going with his attempt after Ronan already told him he wouldn't kiss him just because of that. His hand brushed over Ronans cheek and his thumb over Ronans lips, Caelan let his nose slightly touch Ronans, he liked being that close to him, but he had a goal here. "You're so mean... I'm giving you all those compliments and get nothing in return.", he sighed and pressed his forehead against Ronans shortly after.

    • “I doubt you need to continue to get your point across, but ... that’s too much praise for someone like me, you know? I might know theoretical stuff, but I’m not good at making it practical, let alone suited for the art of war”, he sighed. If his father continued like this, they’d eventually end up waging a war against the wolves and Ronan was sure that they’d lose, at least it seemed like it right now - the wolves could trample them if they wanted to. “You don’t have to, it’s fine and I get where you’re coming from. But don’t worry, we all like to escape our roles from time to time and Henry is no exception”, he explained. Whenever he had to refer to their crown prince as such, he could feel and see the young noble cringe, wishing for Ronan to drop the act and just utter that name of his. Often enough, he couldn’t do that, as he was bound by duty instead. “I don’t know everything about them, but as far as I know Darragh wasn’t my grandfathers first choice of a husband for my mother, since she refused to get married. She eventually settled for my father and yes, he’s an asshole, but I doubt my mother hates him all that much, given the fact they had a child together”, wait, what? Did he just ...? Yes, but Caelan wouldn’t catch onto it, at least Ronan doubted that he would.

      “A one man revolution? Sure, do your worst - but don’t start crying when you end up losing”, he sighed. It was time to reward the blonde, he was right - he’d obeyed every last order and Ronan knew, fully well at that, that this world wasn’t one that he’d have a problem with. Caelan calling himself a puppy didn’t only sound comical, it kind of was - and truth be told, he didn’t mind, the sooner he accepted his role, the better. “I fear I’ll die from loneliness when you leave, like a damn rabbit.” This was the price he had to pay. Nobody could know and their forbidden love was something that, while it bloomed, would hopefully never been uncovered by someone else. They could meet, but for everything past their friendship, they’d have to hide from the rest of the world and accept defeat at the hands of their own stupidity eventually. “You still wouldn’t have to whore around, but at least that stops now - unless you want me to call you a slut for the rest of your life”, Ronan proposed, grinning and fairly aware that he, of all people, was the one that got to call Caelan of Fhaergus his very own. Though, the grin wasn’t made to last for long, instead he wanted to hide his face again and couldn’t - the blonde was too close while he continued to talk for half an eternity. “I ... no. Please. It’s sweet and I told you to not hold back, but you’re being kitschy and I can’t even hide from your incessant gaze”, he said, averting his eyes into any direction they could go. Caelan was winning this one, there was no way out of this, was there? And if yes, where? “Haha, yes”, he chuckled, knowing fully well he’d already lost, that he’d want nothing more than to sleep with Caelan just one more time and then get cleaned up like they should. Was it a good idea to bite the blondes finger? No, instead he closed his eyes once he came even closer and concentrated on his words alone, his heart ready to escape out of its skeletal prison. “I can’t even tell you to work for them, because you are - and so diligently at that. But I don’t want you to win”, he sighed, knowing that he’d be the one at Caelans mercy right now - how utterly frustrating. “You’re testing my patience.”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Saying the words 'for someone like me' is the first mistake, you aren't worse than anyone else.", Caelan said with almost a strict tone in his voice. "Lucky that we're not at war and you just need to keep it that way. I suppose you're talking about the wolves, though I think Alster is currently alone having problems with them, or rather your father. I doubt he'd start a war when no one's having his back. I doubt the king is interested in that barren land." Without the kings approval nothing would happen and why would he spend money and men to capture a land that was cold, colder than Alster and nothing more. They may have ore at the southern border, but that wasn't for certain and just knowing that would keep Caelans father from joining in, only to have someone else get those mines, probably Wezette, and all of a sudden he couldn't charge anything he wanted for Fhaergus metal and weapons. Lavern and Olette were so far off the wolves that they probably didn't care at all about what was happening in the west and Stenz would loose out on trade they maintained with the wolves. No, a war was unlikely, something major would need to happen before anyone started to fight, but the wolves didn't seem interested in Adrestia either, they rarely came here anyway. "Well getting children kinda is the point, is it not? I doubt you have to love your wife or your husband for that." Allard made that clear, Caelan ought to marry someone and have an heir, it didn't matter who the mother was and if he liked her, her name was important.

      "So you're a rabbit now! Well... I won't leave just yet, but I hope you'll survive when we both have to leave this hut.", Caelan chuckled, of course he wanted to stay with him but at some point their ways had to part and he didn't want Ronan to drop dead when that happened. "You'd just call me a slut should I continue? Wouldn't you be jealous?", Caelan asked interested. "To be honest I didn't plan on touching anyone else but you from now on, though I'm asking myself if people start talking if I do... well I told my friends I've met someone I like and they are assuming - of course - it's a girl, so I hope it's fine for me to take it slow now. I had to tell them something though... I don't want them to get suspicious." Caelan smiled again, watching how Ronans face turned all red once more and started to stutter for a moment."I already know how to punish you... I'll just tell you the truth about yourself and make you embarrassed just like you are now, so you better start to be a good boy now. Looking somewhere else won't change that, you know?", he whispered softly, smiling and chuckling right after. "Could it be that there is nothing good you can say about me...?", Caelan asked acting a little bit shocked and gave Ronan a little bit more room while he started to kiss his neck again softly and slowly. "Win, huh...? I could torture you just a little bit, or... we'll make another deal? I'm going to kiss you and let you have that win and in exchange you are going to get on your knees again to clean me up, because I'm way too lazy to do it myself, no foul tricks though, no hands allowed. You did want to practice right? I'll sacrifice myse-- uh... I mean I volunteer right?" He didn't stutter there, he did that on purpose and he grinned while saying all that letting his breath brush against Ronans skin. In the end both ways were a win for Caelan, he was pretty sure if he'd tortured Ronan long enough, he'd kiss him at one point and if he lost that stupid kiss he at least got Ronan on his knees before it went the other way around. Their games were stupid, weren't they? But at least no one got hurt and it was fun.

    • "I ... I'm not claiming that I aim, I'm just not used to get praised, by anyone", he sighed. After all, what was there to praise? He was the heir of Alster, a duke to be, not some little kid that needed encouragement for the smallest of things that it wouldn't do without some praise. "And I doubt ym father will stop trying to start a war with them, but who knows. Maybe he'll realize, one way or another, that it's nothing more than senseless idiocy." Why was he trying to wage war anyway? Was there something he didn't know about? Did his father lose his former family to the wolves, or did he just hate everyone he deemed unworthy of his attention? At last, he'd have to figure out who Ronan really was and that would be his breaking point, he was sure about it - once that happened, would there even be any other option than to try and slaughter the wolves? His father would most likely see to it, to his own end as well as the wolves end and when push came to shove, wasn't that exactly what he wanted - death? Right now, he wasn't sure, but he never was - he always clung to hope, to every last piece his hands could grasp and then, once he'd learned how to forfeit said hope, he'd do just that. After all, thinking he'd be able to escape his father was futile, his fate had already been decided on and the truth was far from what he wanted. "Still, it sounds more like a hassle than something I'd be able to enjoy myself - I don't get how someone could do stuff like that without loving each other."

      "Am I? Who knows. Either way, I'll die without you, don't you know?", Ronan joked, but did he really? He knew that he was useless on his own, knew that there wasn't much he could do without someone pushing him in the right direction and yet, he did nothing but that. Gave up on so many things, vast and scary. "I ... can't say that I wouldn't be, but I'd not hold it against you if you forced yourself to do it to keep the illusion alive, though, I doubt you'd force yourself to it, unless you really are a slut." Why were they contemplating such things in the first place and why, of all things, was it this hard to keep a clear mind about so many things that felt like they'd been etched into his very memory anyway? "It's fine and in exchange, you can touch me as much as you want, how about that?" Not, that he could stop Caelan from doing something he really, earnestly wanted to do and not that it would keep him from doing that stuff, either. Whatever or not it helped, whatever or not he had to force himself to endure, it didn't matter. "You're mean, puppy. And ... that's ... that's not it! You're brave, you're handsome and you know how to make me laugh! And on top of that, you're also hellbent on making me feel good. I wouldn't call that nothing good, if I'm honest!", he blurted out, blinded by nothing but the words that had been directed at him beforehand. Was he dreaming, or was this nothing more than an illusion he was subjecting himself to? However, the illussion shattered soon enough, as soon as the blonde had opened his mouth and sputtered nonsense. "I ... you ... we ... you ... WHAT!?", he uttered, upon understanding what Caelan had just proposed - and promptly wanted to hide his face yet again, though, he knew better than to pull through. "Damn you, Caelan." For crying out loud, was this his punishment? "Fine, kiss me and I'll get on my knees. I'll come up with something else."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Well then get used to it, because I'll never stop seeing all that's good about you.", Caelan said and he meant it. Maybe it was because Ronan seemed so negative all the time, saying things like 'people like me' when nothing at all was wrong with him, so Caelan had to turn the tables to the exact opposite and tell him all the things he liked about him and he saw whenever he looked at him. Caelan knew how a father could ruin a sons life by telling him what was wrong with him all the time and he knew that it wasn't easy to just not listen. Ronan didn't seem to be able to stop listening at all and his father was probably one of the most important voicec in his life. Caelan himself claimed that he didn't care about what his own father said, when he spouted nonsense again only because his son remembered him of a time that was one of the hardest in his life. He didn't want to care and still his fathers voice rang in his head and told him what a disappointment he was, he just was good in ignoring it all the time. Ronan had it even worse, he needed someone keeping him afloat, so he didn't drown. "Aren't you even speaking the wolves language? I thought you'd try to get along with them.", Caelan asked, when his father wanted to start a war, why was his son even talking to his enemies? Maybe Ronan was exaggerating. "You just have to have sex a couple of times and voila, there's a child an you never have to share a bed again. Maybe that explais why I have no siblings... not sure about your parents though. Maybe they do love each other after all."

      "Then I can never leave you! I'll have to stay by your side then, so you better have a room ready for me in Alster... I'm also fine with just a spot in your bed.", Caelan smiled, he'd stay if he could... he really would and he didn't care about how it looked when he started to be glued to Ronan like that. "I don't want to have anyones hands on me but yours.", Caelan said in all honesty, no more girls and certainly no other guy either. "I already can touch you as much as I want, or not?", Caelan asked laughing, looking at the man he leaned over, admiring him for who he was. "Now I'm mean, huh? Though you do flatter me, thank you.", he said and he was indeed flattered by Ronans words, he did his best to be everything he wanted, but the feeling didn't last long and he almost burst out in laughter by Ronans uttered words that didn't make sense at all. "That was easier than expected.", Caelan said, leaned forward and kissed Ronan. For him being so cooperative he gifted him a long one, one that should show him that he did like to play with him, but that he cherished him even more. The kiss felt nice, also for Caelan, even if he lost the kissing contest between them, but gained so much more. This was stupid from the beginning anyway, why would he stop kissing Ronan for a stupid game? They'd have to keep apart from each other often enough in the future.

    • "You-! Stop it!", Ronan said, unwilling to just accept that fate which was placed upon him. Whatever he did, did it even shake Caelan? Did he even care about anything but making him embarrassed, making him feel loved? In the end, it felt like he belonged, belonged to him, or at least someone and wasn't just waste cast aside for merely existing. In the end, it was weird - it felt like he was floating, so often, so much and it wasn't necessarily something he liked, was it now? But then again, why was Caelan so good at rousing positive feelings within him, things he didn't even believe to be able to exist? In the end, he would only know once he'd figure it out for himself, whatever that would take and would lead to, in the end. He was thinking too much about all of this, too much about everything and now he realized, steadily and slowly, that it was nothing more than weird to do just that, to not think but just do whatever came to mind, even if he was a spontaneous being after all. Caelan wasn't any better though, he had to give him that - they both insisted on messing with one another and they both cared about one another, still - that was about the worst thing they could do, wasn't it? "I do, but ... if push comes to shove, I have no right to defect from my country and play friends with the so called enemy, so I'm just hoping that I can do something before that happens", he sighed, clearly overwhelmed with the thought alone. Wasn't it a curse? To be born between a sheep and a wolf, to be himself? "I'd call that rather unpleasant. I'd sleep with you any day, but ... forcing myself to sleep with a woman sounds like a pain, nothing more", he sneered.

      "And get us found out immediately? Wouldn't it be safer to forfeit our titles and just hide out here?" This was getting stupid and idealistic, even more so, now that they were talking about ideals they couldn't possibly ever carve into reality - there was no chance to, not a single one, not ever. They both were nobles, whether unworthy of their title or not and they had to accept that, whatever they wanted to or not. In the end, this was nothing short of mania - nothing short of disbelief, unwillingness to accept certainty. "You can touch me as much as you want and I'll touch you as much as I want, we have another deal there, don't we?" Their relationship, currently, was based on nothing more than deals, on fragile little threats, with empty words attached and as soon as they'd find out more about one another, that could change. "No need to thank me, dork." Was he blushing again? His ears felt hot and so did his face - a shame, really. What was there to consider, if not himself and his own thoughts? "Because you'd never shut up otherwise! Appreciate, that I'm going easy on you!" Once again, any further words were muffled by a kiss, by longing for one another and for the desire to never leave, to be with one another - thinking about anything but Caelan was, without a doubt, unworthy of their given situation. It took forever for them to part, for Ronan to inhale and exhale some fresh air, only to kiss him back, to shove Caelan off of him as best as he could soon after. "Do I have to get out of bed and on my knees for that?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Why would I?", Caelan asked laughing. Ronan was so against getting praise? Well Caelan couldn't just stop especially when Ronan talked like he was worth nothing at all, because that wasn't true, some more confidence would suit him well, even if he already was cocky enough sometimes. They both were more than simple two-dimensional people, being cocky and shy at the same time, confident and insecure as well. Ronan was interesting and not at all shallow like so many other people, maybe that was why Caelan was so interested in him and why he wanted to help him, make him happy and bring him to laugh. He said he hadn't done that in years and now he did every few minutes, Caelan mustn't let that go to his head but he was proud of it already. "Well then you just need to stop your father. Don't worry though, I think no one would be motivated to spend a lot of money just for your fathers ideas.", Caelan said, maybe that wasn't the best topic but they kinda landed here. "Oh? Any day? That's nice to hear!", he grinned right after, happy about the better topic. "I mean it's not that bad and it's kinda our duty just like anything else, we have to reproduce at some point and we hardly can do that with each other."

      "Both things are fine, but isn't it highly unlikely to assume we have a sexual relationship? If I'm staying by your side, maybe it's just because we're friends now, I'm with Cameron all the time too and no one thinks we're sleeping with one another.", Caelan explained. Camerons family was easier to deal with, but Allard wouldn't throw Ronan out and Darragh couldn't do much about Caelan staying either if he wanted to keep at least some relation to Fhaergus. "I've touched you even without a deal!", Caelan chuckled and pinched Ronans side to strengthen his point. "You're going easy on me...? I'm going easy on you with letting you out that easily...", Caelan murmured after this long kiss. His heart beat had risen, the moment they parted almost hurt, only to have Ronan kiss him back after getting some air. The mood changed in a mere second with just a kiss like that and Caelan was remembered that he never wanted to let go of Ronan. The fellow noble pushed Caelan off of him and the blonde let him, lay on his back afterwards, one hand in Ronans hair, his body tingling already again. Caelan opened his eyes and smiled at those dark eyes marbling him. "No you don't... that would mean you'd have to dress yourself or you'll probably freeze to death... so stay under that blanket, will you?"

    • "What do you gain from this, except my embarrassed face?", he asked in retaliation, painfully aware that Caelan probably had an answer already and knew fully well what he was doing to begin with. If anything, this was what Ronan had settled for and there was no escape now, no matter how hard he'd try. Simply speaking, he was at his lovers mercy, but in more complex ways, that barely was the case. They liked to make fun of one another, just as much as they liked to have the upper hand and exert dominance and right now, it was shfiting from him to Caelan, or so he'd like to believe - they both were equally young, stupid and forlorn in a world that barely belonged to them. "My father is motivated enough to spend all the resources his precious country has on his little war, or well, the genocide he wants to happen. Whatever. Maybe I should behead him, once I get the chance to." Then, Darragh would be unable to cause anyone any harm any longer. Literally speaking, this meant that he'd be dead, sleeping with the fish, so to speak but ... was that really the only option he had? Could he even raise that sword of his against a man that had proven, time over time again, that any attempts at resisting his punishment were futile and that his son would do good to obey him until the end of time, lest he'd get a collar and a leash put onto him? "I don't have to if I'm not duke!", he blurted out, again without thinking - wasn't he praised as smart by Caelan just a few moments ago?

      "It ... is, but that's besides the point. You aren't glued to Cameron like there's some adhesive connecting the two of you and I doubt that someone smarter than the two of us wouldn't lift a veil of lies if we hide under it. What I'm trying to say is, I'm just concerned that we'll be found out cause we're trying too little, or a little too hard." His fears were valid, yet baseless. If anyone could figure them out, it was probably going to be Henry, but lucky enough for Ronan, their crown prince could be quiet dense at times - and yet, he didn't think someone like Ethan would full for any of the charades they could present him with, once they'd let the cat out of the bag on accident. "Ouch!", he yelled, errupting into laughter soon after - was it supposed to be this comical? Was it this easy to love and moreover, was it natural for him to feel warm, to feel loved all of a sudden? "Are you ... now?", he asked, still trying to catch his breath and eternally damning himself for just letting all of this happen. What had let to this? Him, being a little too tipsy, being a little too eager or him, cursing himself and his own existence a little too much, only to end up in Caelans grasp? Ronan, who didn't even care enough at this point, just crawled under the blanket - threw it over them one more time and slid down, between Caelans legs - this had to be a sight to behold anyway. "Freeze to death? You're one considerate boyfriend, I'll give you that!" Wait, did he just ... "Forget what I said!", he blurted out soon after, only to press a kiss against Caelans thigh and then suck on the spot, only to bite down after. He wasn't going to be played like a fiddle if he could avoid it, which was why he avoided doing his actual job and just was hellbent on leaving hickeys all over the blondes inner thighs.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I want you to be more confident and I want you to like who you are as much as I do.", Caelan answered with a smile. He knew he might come across flirty and if he didn't mean all that, but that wasn't true. He did mean it and he liked Ronan a lot, he liked his shyness as well as his cocky and sometimes grumpy self that didn't let shine through how insecure his fellow noble actually was. His friends probably thought Ronan was weak, shy and anti-social, when he met him Ronan seemed much stronger but also angry and fragile at his core and now he couldn't even describe all of Ronans facets anymore, there were so many. He was complicated, that's what he was and Caelan wanted to make it uncomplicated at least when he was with him. "If he really is so hellbent on it, he'd already started, but all he did is strengthen the defences to the wolves land.", Caelan said, if he wanted to start a war this much, why haven't he done it already... probably because it wasn't possible and that wouldn't change just like that. Maybe Ronans mother was against it as well as the true heir to the name. "Well but you will be someday!", Caelan laughed.

      "I spent a a lot of time with Cameron, I visited him in Stenz and he visited me in Fhaergus and in between we met at events, if we visit each other as frequently, why would anyone think anything else?", Caelan asked, of course he wouldn't just touch him in plain sight, but if he was visiting Alster for a while, there was nothing weird about it, right? "That barely could have hurt!", Caelan laughed after Ronans yelled Ouch. "I am... I could probably have gotten you to kiss me in still have you crawl between my legs if I wanted.", Caelan let out pretty confident, while Ronan disappeared under the blanket and between Caelans legs. "Aha, I'm your boyfriend now!", Caelan laughed, no he didn't forget it, he didn't want to, it sounded nice to be called that. "It's fine, you're my boyfriend too then, if..." He took in a sharp breath when Ronan softly bit him, Caelan was way to sensitive down there, wasn't he? "...if you want that.", he finished his sentence and looked downwards, but he couldn't see Ronan without lifting the blanket. Well, maybe it was for the better because Ronan wouldn't see if Caelans face turned red again. His chest tightened a little bit, just from feeling Ronans breath and lips down there, Ronan was stalling, wasn't he? But it felt nice for now, so he closed his eyes and enjoyed what was happening. He tried to keep his breath steady and wanted to stay the one in control, but he wasn't sure if he'd manage that.

    • "That'll be a task for your whole life, you do know that, don't you? If you want to try, I can't stop you, but likewise, I cannot promise you that your efforts will bear fruit", he answered his fellow noble. Caelan was a charmer, Caelan wa so much more than he let on and yet it was Ronan, ice cold inside and out and barely able to do anything for himself, who fell for him without asking questions and who was his, without voicing doubts. Was it too early to claim ownership, was it too much to ask for or was this simply who he was, simply who he'd want to be? In the end, wasn't he just searching for means to escape his predicament, to cast aside every seed of doubt planted within his mind or was this just to satisfy himself, his very human self, that wanted to nurture itself on whatever human prey it could muster to catch? Right now, he was himself and yet, it felt so surreal to be just that - to be accepted like that and to have a place to belong to. Was he reaching for something, maybe even something that wasn't there and telling himself that everything was as it was intended t be, simply based on the fact that Caelan cherished him for now, but after that, who knew? Would love, as fragile and as weird as the concept was, even survive in these conditions of constant seperation? "Who knows what he's up to. He's a warmongering maniac and never has been anything else, to be honest", the noble sighed as he remembered all those faint stories he'd heard about his father over the years. "I'd rather forfeit my title and run away with you."

      "I mean, that would be a suitable solution for our little problem, but wouldn't it be weird for someone like me, who likes to keep to himself, to suddenly just grow out of his shell and start spending time with someone, especially someone as open and energetic as you?" Not, that Ronan did mind spending time with Caelan, but having only little time to spend with him was still better than not being allowed around him, let alone being burned at the stake for it. Theoretically, they were both at a loss, but in reality, only he seemed to think about the consequences that would eventually arise from their unique situation. "I'm just playing with you!", he beamed back into the blondes face. How much fun was he going to pick at Caelan and what of it was genuinely meant to just be that? Wouldn't it be easier to just reveal that he wanted to tease him? But where'd the fun be? "Don't get ahead of yourself, puppy." Ronan budged, even if that meant there was no fun to be had for him - or, well. Actually, this was somewhat fun, especially cause they were taking jabs at one another and they got to spend some time in bed a little bit longer, a little bit more. "Me, your boyfriend? I ... yes. I'd like that, very much actually." His cheeks had been rosy from the getgo, but right now, there was something stirring within him and there was a faint smile on his face - he enjoyed bein around Caelan and he enjoyed being with Caelan, so ... being his boyfriend was something he wanted, no? Caught up in his own thoughts, he almost forgot to the task at hand, but eventually returned to it, only to give Caelans thighs a few more bites and bruises - not, that anyone would be able to see, but the blonde would have some of the marks for a while, wouldn't he? "Actually, what did you want again?", he asked, chuckling and stopping, only for his breath to hit more than just his boyfriends thigh.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "That's fine, I'll do it forever then.", Caelan grinned, he had no problem with that, not at all. It meant staying close to Ronan, it meant he could stay with him and be... well his boyfriend apparently. Sadly it would never be more than that, they couldn't marry let alone live together, unless they really did run away somewhere else, somewhere no one knew them and no one cared about them. "We should do that... but I guess we're both too afraid or... whatever to do it, to run away." It maybe was too soon to say Caelan wanted a life with Ronan, but he did. Furthermore, what would they do if what they felt lasted for only some weeks, or maybe years, but at some point they didn't like each other anymore? They would have cast away their titles, stopped living their life for each other and one might just leave in the end... where would they go then? Wouldn't they feel more alone then than here in their actual lifes?

      "Mhhhh... you're probably right...", Caelan moaned after thinking about it a second time. Ronan wasn't as outgoing and he never had any relation to anyone. "Still, I mean... why would the first thought be that we have feelings for each other? That's... very unlikely, maybe you just want some fun too for a change. When we introduced Ethan and Orlando to each other they started to spend a lot of time together as well, but I'm pretty sure they aren't gay, even though Ethan is a loner, just like you. Being gay is so... uncommon that probably no one would think about it as a possibility, you know?" Why would anyone even have an idea like that? Maybe as a joke, but nothing more. "Stop trying to turn the tides! I'm playing with you if anything!", Caelan retaliated and gasped feeling Ronans lips and teeth again. Caelan wanted this... Ronan complied, so why was Ronan now the one being in control? At least he sounded a little bit flattered when he agreed to being Caelans boyfriend and even let Caelan some time to calm down his body. Not for long though, the kisses and bites continued and a tingling sensation filled Caelans stomach, while his chest contracted everytime Ronan let go for a moment to search for a new spot, everytime he came closer to what Caelan actually had asked for. The blonde sucked in some air while his body tensed up, he forced himself to not move, he didn't want to look desperate, that would only boost Ronans ego way too much. "Didn't I say no foul tricks...?", he asked growling and thought about just moving his hand under the blanket to grab Ronans head, but he didn't, instead he pulled himself together to try and sound confident enough and not like his face was burning and he'd do anything to get Ronan to continue. "I want you to blow me.", he simply said.

    • "For all eternity, until you can't anymore or there's no one left to praise?" Of course, they were nothing more than fragile humans, breakable objects who'd expire sooner or later. In the end, there was nothing for Caelan or Ronan to do about it and then, after all was said and done, they had enough time to be with one another, even if they had to cast aside their sinful flesh for that - after that, who'd stop them? "Once we come up with a good resolve, I'm sure we can just do whatever we want, but until then, we're stuck in our roles. But, pray tell, would you forsake that legacy and name of yours, just because of someone like me? Just to be able to love?" The truth was, that Caelan had been right earlier - eventually, they'd have to get engaged, marry a stranger and have her bear them an heir, worthy of continuing their bloodline. Whereas he could, maybe, run away, there was no one to replace the blonde and that would leave Fhaergus without a capable duke to be - would he feel bad about it, bad about forfeiting himself to some other man who tried to stay idealisitic, despite knowing that it all was futile? In the end, what would that net them? Even if they made their grand getaway reality, wouldn't that mean they'd have to be something like soulmates? Ronan doubted he could speak of that already, and yet he was already demanding so much.

      "I'm probably worrying too much about being found out when I should be enjoying myself. Lets ... just forget what I said, yes? We can worry about being herectics and sinners in the eyes of some god later, at the very least when they'll burn us at the stake. For now, we can do ... something better", he sighed. Caelan was his, he was Caelans and it was as simple as that - anyone who tried to get between them should have their hands scalded, just to learn a lesson or two. That'd be fun, a lot, actually. Instead, he was the one that caused them both headaches with his insecurities and he wanted nothing more than to run away, somewhere where he could be alone, where he could be who he ought to be - but ... that was about it, wasn't it? What was his real plan, what was his motivation to do anything? Was it just Caelan, who lay there, all willing and compliant with his stupid plans - why was it so important to him to exert dominance over this guy, anyway? Was it because Caelan was taller, was stronger and more handsome than he was, or just because he felt like it? Ronan asked himself too much and yet, he could only chuckle. "This? A foul trick? You wound me, mylord", now he definitely was making fun of Caelan, or wasn't he? Once he'd heard his orders, his head moved, his breath brushing against Caelans dick ever so slightly and Ronan was unable to contain himself, wanted to touch the blonde already but ... he could remain composed a little while longer, couldn't he? "You want me to, or you need me to?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Until you get it or until I die, whichever comes first.", Caelan answered with a smile and was pretty sure that Ronan didn't want to hear something like that, he didn't want to get praised and he didn't want Caealn to talk about an eternity either probably, was Caelan pushing this too far already? He wondered why Ronan was so against hearing something good about it, maybe because he didn't believe Caelan, or maybe because he wanted to believe him, but being disappointed in the end, because the blonde lied to him, would be too hurtful. Caelan was not planning on doing anything like that, not at all, he really did like all those things about the dark haired noble next to him. Ronans question however took it pretty far as well and Caelan didn't want to lie. "I only know you a few days, but you make me happy, happier than anyone else. To be honest, as long as I don't have to decide I don't want to, it's fine for me to live a life in secracy and when we become dukes it will be easier to meet up and talk all night. I don't care about you marrying or me doing the same, as long as you stay with me, though we'll always stay hidden. But if I have to choose between you and my country, I... from my current point of view I'd choose you... I think... but I can't promise that won't change. You make me feel so different, but I wonder if it will last and how long... you know? I've never felt like this and I can't exactly say what I feel.", he answered inall honesty, this was what he felt and he always thought honesty was important. Of course what he did here with Ronan was nothing but honest, but that was something else, they'd die if it got out.

      "Don't worry... aren't we here to figure everything out...? It's fine to talk about that stuff, even if... I'm not able to concentrate very much right now." That something better was already happening after all. Caelan was concentrating on Ronans lips and breath again, this warm feeling he caused moved all over his body and he raised his arm to press it on his face while Ronan continued to torture him, that wasn't what he had planned, not at all. Ronan was stronger than him after all, wasn't he? "Good!", he retaliated and the point of Ronans sentence completely missed Caelan, he was occupied with the thought that he really liked being called Mylord by Ronan especially in this context, maybe this should get something common? It felt empowering, yet Ronan was the one playing with Caelan and having him at his mercy. The words Caelan had uttered were enough at least, Ronan moved his head, Caelan even felt his breath finally there but... he stopped, again! Caelan bit his tongue and tried to not sound desparate before he started to talk. "I need you to shut up already.", he answered, there were more important things to do for Ronans mouth, weren't there and Caelan didn't plan to beg again, he already did today, that had to be enough! This would all come back to Ronan at some point... or would it? After all Ronan had turned the situation around with ease this time, why wouldn't he be able to again?

    • "It seems most likely that I'll die before you do and before you convince me, but we ... shouldn't talk about stuff like this, not right here or right now. I'm not in the mood to contemplate my upcoming end, or yours - or well, ours." Dying together was something almost unheard of, yet, wouldn't that be deeply romantic in its own right? Devotion to the very last breath, until there was nothing left but regrets and the one, burning soul that slowly faded into nothingness. Ronan didn't want to imagine what came after death, but he knew better than to stop himself from having such thoughts - they'd come back, sooner or later and then he'd ask himself if it was a good idea to let someone like Caelan not only in on his plans, but also drag him with him. Shouldn't he leave the blonde alone and not stain him any further? Maybe he'd like to be left alone, at least in death - and he had much more to live for than he himself did, so, why should he even propose such things? Not, that his boyfriend wouldn't agree, didn't it feel wrong, too? "Shhhh. I'm glad I make you happy, it's no different for me, but you're talking so much - are you excited? Or do you want some praise? I'm not sure if I can offer you that, but I'm glad you'd currently rather run away with me than suffer, but ... we both know we can't, don't we?" Once they'd forfeited everything, they'd be free, but for how long?

      "Let's talk about it when we have time to concentrate on it, both of us." Simply talking about something and getting halfbaked answers wouldn't be enough to satisfy him, but that was nothing new, just like it was nothing new that he wanted to get his hands onto Caelan already, wanted to give in himself and just revel in pleasure, but once again, why should he make it easy for either of them? Forcing himself to hold back was nothing new, but it seemed that Caelan needed to learn what patience meant - just like the puppy he was. Would Ronan be a bad owner if he didn't teach him? Most likely and therefore, he'd have to guide him to the conclusion, sooner or later. "Good? Just good? Mylord, forgive your humble servant for asking you as bluntly as this, but ... are the services I provide just good? Not worthy of other praise?" For a second, he pulled away, faked out of their little deal, only to resume his position a few seconds after, just to see the expression on the blondes face and grin - different words had different meanings and whether or not Caelan was his owner, or he owned him, it didn't matter. "As you wish, mylord", he answered, only to actually take the tip of Caelans dick into his mouth, to lick over it almost skittishly, just to keep being the damn tease he was. Would Caelan catch on? Probably - well, then he should make it his problem to do something about it.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Mh don't be stupid, I'm reckless, you're not...", Caelan said as if he could die any second. Well if he spent more time with Ronan ans therefore less with Cameron his life probably wasn't as dangerous, or rather dangerous in a completely different way. What was more dangerous than the other? Being with a man, sharing a bed, kissing and sleeping with him? Or jumping off a cliff, or trying to kill a boar with bare hands... it both was probably, was this why he chose a man in the first place? Caelan wasn't sure about that, about where these feelings for Ronan came from, they hit him very suddenly after all. "Don't shhhh me, I'm just being honest...", Caelan murmured, had he said too much? Was he scaring Ronan away? "I don't want praise for telling the truth." He didn't expect Ronan to say something similar, although he had asked in the first place, but he kind of felt offended by the reaction. Shhhh... what was that supposed to mean? "Running away would be a last resort. If we're found out we have to anyway..."

      "Fine then... get to the point!", Caelan grumbled, they had a deal, didn't day? Now Ronan was playing with him, Caelan would never let him out of an embarrassing situation again, that was for sure! Next time, he would keep talking about his beautiful face, while whispering in his ear until Ronans head looked like a ripe tomato. "That's right, good is still too nice a description, for a servant that doesn't heed my words. Maybe I'll have you degraded to the kitchen, or make you my slave right away.", Caelan answered only for Ronan to pull back. Did he take that serious? He ground his teeth, moved his arm to take a look at the situation, only to see a smug grin on Ronans face. "For god's sa-ah!", he let out a moan, simply because he was sure Ronan would skip out on their deal right now, but instead he felt his tongue, lips and warm breath, it surprised him to say the very least. He pressed his arm back onto his face which was turning red, his cheeks felt hot and his body tensed up a little bit, but still there wasn't much Ronan did. It made Caelan almost shake, he wanted more, but he swore himself to not beg again.

    • "Do you even know that for sure?" Do you even know me?, was something that Ronan refrained from asking, knowing that a question like that would lead to nothing good, ever. They both had time to get accustomed to each other, to get to know one another and right now, they didn't need to spread animosity between one another, nor doubt the light one was viewed in - all the doubts, however small or big they'd be - would only lead to distrust and in turn, distrust would lead to absolute failure. In the end, that was something that Ronan wanted to avoid, simply unable to already think about giving up what he'd made his mere days ago, just because he couldn't bear to ... yes, what exactly had been his ulterior motives? "I know, but you're running your mouth too much, too fast. Save your words for when you actually need them", he mumbled, positively aware that they didn't need to talk to one another at all. Truth be told, their means of communication was just that - a few glances, a few words and they both seemed to get all of wat was going on. "Didn't we talk about disappearing some days ago? I'd still like to try that, together with you, without any kind of pressure. But ... I can't force you into something, so don't sweat it. There'll be a time when we need to make decisions and when that happens, lets hope they are favorable for both of us."

      "I will, don't worry", Ronan mumbled, only to do what he ought to do from the getgo - give Caelan some release, even though he still wanted to play with him, as much as he could. Ronan was odd, not to say, he liked having the upper hand and yet, he didn't expect Caelan to just surrender to him like that, again, even after he was the one that proposed it like this. If the blonde lost now, that'd mean he'd be the one who was one step ahead, didn't it? The bitter taste and the hurting jaw, that would come eventually, would be okay to deal with - he hadn't minded it the first time, so it wouldn't be worse the second time it came around, would it? Though, whatever Caelan had said just now spurred him on, ever so slightly at that. Again, he took the liberty of removing his lips and tongue, only to grin almost sheepishly. "But mylord, I doubt I'd be talented enough to work in the kitchen and ... being your slave, while I doubt it wouldn't be benefical for our relationship, would you dare do such a rash thing? Could you even afford to anger that family of mine?" And the moan itself felt like he had been blessed by some god, by any god, to have someone as nice and pliant as Caelan as his partner. "Though, I supposed if you want to own this humble servant of yours, you might as well just take whatever you want, mylord." In the end, this was just flattery - like his lips, going back to where Caelan wanted them to be and his tongue, pressed flat against the underside yet again, was barely doing anything. Could he torture him like this, only by bobbing his head back and forth a few times? Maybe, but he'd see for himself soon enough.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Haven't we talked about my scars and you having none...?", Caelan asked instead of answering. He probably didn't know Ronan well enough, but the young noble seemed to barely leave the house as opposed to Caelan who could have died more than once already. One wrong step in the mountains, or a storm Cameron and he didn't see coming would have been enough. If Cameron hadn't dragged him back home and Caelan hadn't done the same for him, they'd both be dead meat by now. "You asked a question, I answered.", Caelan replied to Ronan. "You were the one just saying we can't run away like that. It all depends on the situation..." Just because he knew a guy for a few days, he couldn't just bring chaos to his country and devoid it of an heir. What would his parents do? Would they adopt someone? Try for another son? Allard hated his son so there must have been a reason he didn't already do that, cast him away fully... maybe he was scared he liked Caelans brother more than his first born and everything got messed up. Another first son thrown out to not get his throne... that was probably nothing Allard wanted to happen, not because he somehow had feelings for Caelan, but because it would cast a bad light on Fhaergus yet again.

      Finally Ronan seemed to fulfill his end of the bargain, Caelan let out a sigh, the tense feeling didn't part and his body almost started hurting when Ronan stopped yet again. Caelan bit his tongue and forced his body to stay still, he forced himself not to start trembling or showing Ronan that he wanted nothing more than his lips and tongue wrapped around him. He was so close to just beg and let out another 'Please', but he didn't, he didn't want to loose. "You can play your part in your family, but when you're with me you ought to do what I want, slave.", Caelan pressed out as calm and composed as he possibly could. He even lifted up his body and leaned on his arm, supporting his upper body, to look downwards at Ronan teasing him under that damn blanket. What was Ronans goal here, except having some fun with his lover, or boyfriend actually. Caelans face turned even more red when Ronan moved downwards again, Caelan growled silently, letting his head fall back. But again, he didn't get what he really wanted. "I remember you doing better than this...", he said and though this wasn't exactly what he wanted, the mere thought of what Ronan denied him made his body feel strange and his breathing get ragged. "Don't think about giving a cocky answer again, I won't let you anymore.", he growled and as he said it let his hand slip under the blanket, placing it on Ronans head, digging into his hair and because Ronan was such a tease it was the hand that had been wrapped around Ronans cock minutes before.

    • "We ... did. You're right about that", he answered, keeping up with this useless charade. When was he going to tell Caelan that he'd lied to him, more than once? Was this how it would all end up? In the bay of Ronans lies after being swept up by countless waves and carried away, back to the sea, where the two of them would then, in turn, find out that there simply had been nothing but lies overall? Not, that Ronan would mind being found out, but as long as it was avoidable, why would he even try to come clean and tell the blonde that disappearing meant so much more than just leaving behind his name, his title and becoming a scholar in Henrys court? Though, maybe it was fine, as long as Caelan didn't grasp the truth that was upon them. "It's alright, answer as many of them as you like." Right now, he was the one that was being hypocritical and somehow, it not only showed but it also told him one of two things - he was growing soft, was going easy out of fear that he'd someone, somehow. "Whatever that situation is, I hope we don't find ourselves in one of them", he sighed, fully aware that it was futile to try and project onto something else anyway. In the end, they both had nothing but one another and that meant, for better or worse, that they also had to keep in check with one another.

      This here was his playground and nobody would be able to defeat him, at least that's what Ronan assumed. In the end, there was nothing more than stupidity and a bitter aftertaste in his mouth, knowing fully well he just had overdone it and now Caelan was back in the position that he wanted to be in - but it had been fun anyway. What was even more fun, however, was finally getting what he himself had hoped for - for Caelan to take control of the situation. "As you wish, master", he simply answered, accepting his defeat before he couldn't anymore. The hand, resting on his head soon after, gave him a variety of ideas of what his boyfriend could do to him, but much to his dismay, it was the simplest of things. Being unable to talk back and being forced to suck him off wasn't so bad, however, that still meant he was somewhat in control and could still do what he wanted, which mean he could relentlessly tease that lover of his and only make grunts in disapproval at Caelans proposals. Well, he wasn't left with many options like this, but still - Ronan was Ronan and he'd always be himself, so he picked up an almost painfully slow pace, even though he never could go higher than Caelans hand let him, but that was fine. He'd have to clean this second mess either way, so ... why not wash that damn hair of his again, it wasn't like he wasn't used to washing it every two or three days. Another grin was on his lips as he dared to look upward, almost as if to check if he had pissed him off for real now.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Whatever they had talked about, Caelan wasn't able to concentrate on it anymore and it seemed like the completely wrong time anyway. If he had Ronan sit between his legs, he wanted to enjoy it instead of concentrating on trivial stuff or topics they both didn't really want to think about. The gist of it was, that they both wanted to stay on the others side and that they'd do anything to make this work. If it for some reason wasn't possible in Adrestia anymore, maybe they'd really run away, but until then they should probably concentrate on so many other things, on what they felt for each other and what it meant and on what they would do with it. They should concentrate on why they were here they should find out who the other was and what he liked and what not, there were so many open questions and yet they already announced they's both be the others boyfriend. Caelan didn't mind, Caelan didn't want to share and he didn't plan on being a 'slut' again, as he was called. Ronan was the only one that should touch and kiss him, nobody else made him feel that good after all.

      Ronan didn't stop with his teasing, the only thing he really let him is that he had called him master right now, but other than that he was still not doing his best, but at least he couldn't just escape that easily anymore and he couldn't talk either, which was good right now. Not that Caelan would hurt Ronan, or be to rough, even though he was a little bit annoyed by him right now, he wouldn't cross his borders, he'd never do that. Annoyed also wasn't the right word, he was somehow, but he wasn't really, he was still having fun, just a little bit at least, all despite not only Ronans jaw would hurt if he kept this up for a couple more minutes. "You're a tease... and I can't just let that slide...", Caelan said, digging his fingers deeper into Ronans hair, but doing nothing else so far. He liked the fact, that Ronan couldn't speak right now, but what could he possibly do with it? First and foremost he had to show Ronan that he did not have all the power over Caelan, he had to show him that Caealan was the one calling the shots right now. "I guess we'll have to practice this a lot more... I'm almost feeling nothing.", he voiced his thoughts. "I guess no answer is a yes so... what about every morning as a fixed appointment. I want to wake up with having you suck my dick and for every day we can't see each other, I'll get one extra." Well Caelan would probably not really ask him to do that, but for now he said it like he meant it, while he pushed down Ronans head a little bit more, so he had to take in even more of the blonde. Was Ronan struggling already? "What was that...? Have you said something? I assume you're agreeing to my proposal..." Caelans cheeks felt warm and he longed to see Ronans face as well, maybe it was red too, either from embarrassment or from anger, both would be fine right now, well at least if the anger was as real as Caelans threat. The blondes heart already beat faster and for some reason it felt good to turn the tides again, though he needed all his strength to sound as confident as he did, Ronan could easily change that if he only gave Caelan what he desired so much, but at this point, would it really stop him from spouting nonsense, while Ronan couldn't answer?

    • Wasn't this just what he had wanted? Being nothing more than Caelans toy, being at his mercy and being forced to heed his words? Then, why did it feel so miserable and yet so good to be just that? In the end, Ronan himself wasn't sure what the correct course of action was - did he really, truly desire what he got or did he want to be the one in Caelan's position, forcing him to his knees and having him do all of these things while he called him names? He'd find out sooner than later, but for now, this sufficed - for the two of them. He couldn't answer, except make disapproving noises and had to focus on what was in front of him, which - frankly - wasn't much, except the blondes exposed body. Whatever they both had in mind, it was something deranged from the start and this was what they had to deal with in the end - not bad, at least not for people like them, for sinners and heretics contemplating if they were allowed to be alive in the first place. Were they enjoying themselves? Oh, it seemed like Caelan was and he himself did so, too. Being commanded wasn't bad, likewise, being the one commanding would probably not be bad, either, so that was fine, wasn't it? They both had one another and that was all that mattered, even if that meant Ronan's jaw would hurt til the end of time.

      Any attempt to answer would be futile, so instead, he continued to do a mediocre job - desiring to piss Caelan off more than anything else, just for the hell of it - and yet, the blonde seemed like he was able to stay calm and keep turning the situation in his favor. How boring. As a few more words fell from Caelans lips, he almost peered up, but no - he didn't want to, especially not when he could easily be forced to keep eyecontact, now that he had a pretty strong grip on his hair. Ronan wanted to damn himself, wanted to damn his own stupidity for thinking he had won already, but for once, he didn't mind this - in fact, there was a sudden surge of what felt like adrenaline in his system, his heart was beating faster and every word that spilled from Caelans lips felt like pure ecstasy to him as there was warmth, pooling in his stomach. Actually ... had the blonde lost his mind? His eyes had widened, almost in shock or horror and he couldn't even chuckle, lest he'd choke on what he was sucking right now, but for some reason, the proposal didn't feel bad, despite the length that he'd have to go for all of this to actually work. Waking up before Caelan seemed impossible too. A soft grunt escaped his lips in the end, as he felt his face flare up ever so slightly and he got pushed down even more, he finally decided that maybe, it was time to give in and give that master of his what this guy had been waiting for - though, first he wanted to play, just a little bit more. Maybe that was why he let his teeth graze Caelans dick ever so slightly as he moved his head a bit against his hand, only to move it back down, take the whole thing in and stop using his teeth. Well, if Caelan wanted his release so bad, Ronan was willing to give it to him - his jaw would start to hurt sooner or later and as long as the hand at the back of his head wasn't hindering him too much, why not keep the steady rhythm he was going for and why not occassionally annoy the blonde with his teeth?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.