sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

    • "Mean...? No I don't think so... it was quite alright and you look cute when you're acting all mad about little things.", Caelan answered, giving Ronan a short kiss on his neck. "It's not that easy to just touch a guy I met a few hours ago, when I'm not even sure I want that, or that other man, you, want that. I noticed your cheeks flare up alright, but that doesn't mean you would want to kiss me, does it? So yes... innocent, or in other words, I was trying to test how far you let me go, but I was the one quitting in the end." Another kiss landed on Ronans neck, then another one. Caelan thought back on Ronan sitting in front of the fire and Caelan running his finger down is spine, it was... somehow magical, he had felt like being in a dream, enchanted by the sheer beauty of Ronan, a beauty he had never seen in anyone else. He now as well, his bod felt a tingling sensation whenever he was close to the fellow noble and he did have Caelan wrapped around his finger, there was no use denying that. "Satisfied? If you're asking if I finished, yes, that's just a process easy to pull off, if you're asking if I felt good afterwards or meanwhile, the answer is no."

      "Will you ever be motivated enough to actually get up and search for a rope?", Caelan asked chuckling, Ronan seemed to cling to the bed and Caelan after all. But truth be told, if Ronan tied up Caelan, he probably could bring him to beg in all honesty as long as he was in a position he couldn't just kiss and touch him on his own. "You said I'll get rewarded in the hut, I am here now...", Caelan whined like a child while biting Ronans neck a little bit more. A kiss didn't shut him up either, but instead of continuing his wailing he continued to kiss Ronans body, his chest, his shoulders and arms, his throat and stomach. "I like kissing your body... so don't sweat it.", he smiled truthfully, but he wasn't sure where all of this led and what they even wanted to do. With Ronan he was unsure and indecisive, not like with all those girls. He didn't want to rush anything while he didn't even know what was possible, what was normal... this wasn't as easy. "Tell me what you want and I'll do it...", he murmured. Should he let his hand brush over the exposed skin on Ronans thighs? Should he continue down his stomach with either his hands or his mouth? Should he kiss him and press Ronans body against his own, feeling his skin and sharing some warmth? For now he still kept some distance inbetween them as if a wrong touch could destroy all the had, only his lips found their way on Ronans body and continued to explore him.

    • "Hey! Now you're the one that's getting cocky!", Ronan laughed, albeit only ever so slightly. They both were good at teasing one another and that was about it - there wasn't much more they could do or were doing to begin with, not that anyone would care about what their lieges, their masters and soon to be rulers did. To put it simply, all they were was puppets on a string and all they'd do was try their best to escape from their duties, their families, just for a moment so they could relinquish themselves in one another. Ronan wasn't keen on bevoming someone he wasn't or didn't want to be, but did it matter when push came to shove? He wanted to be Caelan, wanted Caelan to be his and that was - quite frankly - about everything he could ever wish for, lest his sins would be found out and not go unpunished if he ran his mouth any longer. "Shame on you I'd say, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have let you feel me up anyway. As carefree as I can be, I'm usually pretty stuck-up, you know?" After all, if Caelan wasn't who he ended up being, he'd just ignore him, or better, made no secret of being unable to communicate properly. That was, who the heir of Alster was - stuck-up, easy to angr and even easier to confuse and there was no doubt about it. "Well, I figured as much, but hearing it out of your mouth is reassuring. At least you do feel good with me, I assume?"

      Not once had he taken note of Caelan dragging someone else back to his room for a second round, but, Ronan hadn't observed him all that closely and his claims had been refuted anyway - he was, in many ways, Caelans first just like Caelan was his first in many, not so different matters. Dealing with love still felt like a nightmare, but it warmed him up from the inside, more than he ever thought it could - and Caelan was doing a pretty good job at keeping that small flame burning bright. "Yeah, when I'm wearing clothes. Tomorrow, I think", he answered, knowing fully well he was the one getting teased here, but he didn't let that get to his head. Ronan was, by all accounts, not someone that wanted to be played like a fiddle, even if his lover did a damn good job at just that sometimes. "Maybe I had my fingers crossed behind my back", he retaliated, still laughing and enjoying every single kiss he received - there were so many, his body felt almost overwhelmed like this. His cheeks were flushed, parts of his chest as well - at least that's what he figured, but his words died in his throat before he could even think them through. Was this a spell cast upon him or just fate? Or was this desire, longing for things that he shouldn't want? "I want you to touch me, all over, not just with your lips."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I haven't though you are a slut, so of course I'm sure you had stopped me before anything major would have happened.", Caelan laughed, even more so about Ronans following words. "You? carefree?", he asked teasingly, again biting Ronans neck, Ronan was everything but that, though he tried to be as it seemed. It was easy enough with him here though and on the other hand Ronan was the one reading those books and trying stuff out he could do on his own... maybe he was carefree after all. "Enough with the stupid questions, silly. Of course I feel good with you, I'd do anything we've done up until now again, isn't that clearly visible?" They hadn't done so much up until now, but even if Caelan figured out what else they could do, he was sure all of it felt good and all of it would be so much better than what he experienced before. Everytime he had slept with a girl he felt weird afterwards, almost disgusting, he just wanted to take a shower and get out of there, which he often enough did. With Ronan it was different, he wanted to keep holding him, he wanted another kiss and another one, and another one... and he also wanted so much more than that.

      "So you lied to me? Well next time I'll have to check what you do with your hands!", Caelan laughed and as if Ronan was about to promise him something now, Caelan grabbed one of his wrist at first, pulling Ronans arm upwards and pin his hand down above his hand, this one secured he grabbed the other one to have it above Ronans head to. With one hand he held him down like this and grinned, looked into that red face, his eyes looking up to Caelan, the free hand was pushing Ronans chin so he faced him. Ronans wish wasn't as specific as Caelan had hoped, but he would do exactly that, if Ronan was playing nice. "No fingers behind your back, so... what do I get for complying? Maybe a reward I'll not have to miss in the end?", Caelan asked jokingly and already moved his free hand from Ronans chin, over his throat and chest, he let it slide downwards, let it pass his stomach and move past his hip to his thighs. Caelan would have lied if he told Ronan he wasn't nervous himself, but he didn't avert his ace, even when his own cheeks turned red a little bit, only because he thought about what his hand just had past without paying any attention to it yet. While he let his fingers slightly scratch over Ronans bare skin, from his knee upwards, he slowly let go of Ronans hands, changing his mind. "Actually... I want you to touch me as well...", he murmured.

    • "Me? A slut? Caelan, I wouldn't even dare to consider you'd think your fellow noble would be whoring around", Ronan answered him, quite bluntly - but he still caught onto the joke. Well, did he like being called a slut? What did he know, maybe it wasn't so bad, but that - again - would degrade him and he was pretty certain that his precious puppy wouldn't be supporting of that. "As carefree as I can be at least." Just trying to pull it all together was as hard as it got and Ronan was sure that, well, he had no time to even consider explaining his problems to that lover of his - he'd just drown in his own pain, but that was fine, as long as the sensation was numb and not omnipresent, like it should be. Would he survive without Caelan? Who knew. "Well ... I ... uh. It wasn't to boost my ego, I was curious and then got cocky. So, uhm. Well, it IS obvious that you'd probably ... I can't say it, that just sounds indecent", and yet he was having doubts, but mainly about being as vulgar as he could be. Who wouldn't like to have Caelan of Fhaergus for themselves, enjoy a nice morning with him and then get straight down to business? Wasn't that every girls dream? And now Ronan got to live it, that dream that nobody ever would make reality, except him and his improper thirst for his lover - for this relationship they didn't want to put a label on.

      "Did I? I don't know, maybe I'm lying to you right now!" Again, he stuck out his tongue, but only for a moment - what was happening? Being the one getting restrained felt ... weird enough, but it wasn't bad, not at all - it made him kind of confused for a second as he stared into the blue eyes that were glued onto him, trying to figure out what their owner wanted, but the answer came, faster than expected. Ronan didn't even find time to thrash around, or to complain about his predicament, instead he stayed calm and wondered - did he like this? Yes? "If you comply, I'll blow you. No fakeouts this time, I promise", on what, he didn't know - but a promise was a promise, right? Finally, he was let go of and Ronan wanted nothing more than to get that stupid grin off of Caelans face which, in the end, proved difficult if the blondes hands moved all over him and he himself kept being in motion the entire time. What could he do to spite him? "You want ... to get touched too? Do you deserve that?", he asked, as stubborn as he was and grabbed the hand that had held his own mere seconds, only to softly kiss the digits on it, before bringing it up to his face and rubbing it against it. Caelans touches felt so damn good, it was a shame he wasn't going further.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Well not you you don't, Cameron on the other hand...", Caelan chuckled. No Ronan was no slut and he probably deemed what happened between them as fast as anyone else would and yet it felt too good to slow down, after all they only had a week together and then an indefinitely long time in which they won't be able to see each other would follow. Caelan wanted to pack as many memories as he could, before he had to leave Ronan again and be without him in Fhaergus. "It is obvious that I.... what?", Caelan asked with a slight laugh. Why was Ronan so shy all of a sudden? Why was he not telling Caelan what he wanted to say? "Spill it, now I'm curious." He was so cute when he stuttered, when his cheeks flared up and his eyes searched for a way out. As strong as Ronan liked to look, sometimes there were little things throwing him over and leaving him shy all of a sudden, after he was the one kissing Caelan, after he was the one blowing him just like that, after they only knew each other for a whole day.

      "Keep your tongue to yourself...", Caelan grinned and acted like he tried to catch it with his own mouth. But holding him down like that was enough to take away Ronans cool and look at those shy and confused eyes only Caelan was allowed to see. "Hm... you're pretty good at that if I remember correctly, so... deal.", Caelan murmured and he wanted to touch Ronan anyway, no matter what the deal was, even without a deal he would have kept going moving his hand over his body. The other one got snatched by Ronan and Caelan looked past those blonde hair of his that found their way in his face while he leaned over Ronan. "Don't I...?", Caelan asked almost worried that he wouldn't get anything from Ronan right now, he loved being the one having the higher ground, wasn't he? Caelan wasn't good at containing himself from touching and kissing Ronan, so he had nothing to bargain with. For now he let himself fall to the side, next to Ronan and pulled him towards him, firmly, though somewhat hesitant as well. Caelans hand was sliding down Ronans back, further and further, brushing over his butt eventually. "As much as I like to see you pant and wheeze under my touch... maybe I want to join in at the same time...?", he proposed somewhat cryptically, but up until now they had always one giving and one receiving, he wanted that to change this time. While he waited for an answer he kept moving his hand over Ronans butt, alternating between soft brushes and slight scratches and the sheer fact that he said out loud what he had thought made him blush, the mighty Caelan of Fhaergus that had so many girls blushed yet another time in front of his fellow noble.

    • "Stop it, don't badmouth that poor guy when he's not around", Ronan laughed, knowing fully well that neither of them would confess their sins to anyone and would be unable to bring up Camerons predicament anyway. If he was a slut, just as Caelan claimed, then well, Ronan couldn't exactly give him a run for his money, but it was interesting to know nonetheless. "And also, you're the one whoring around, too!" Truth be told, he could have worded it in a nice way, but Ronan - being the son of Darragh - meant that he, normally, wouldn't even care what nonsense he spouted until it was too late. His father wasn't any different, neither of them were. Just like Caelan; they all seemed like they wanted to run their mouths. "I have to say it now, don't I?" Why did he never think before he spoke? Was it that hard or did he hate himself that much, perhaps? Whatever it was, he couldn't really say - everything he knew was that he despised himself, one way or another, and that this world was but his to conquer - if he felt as bold. "I wanted to say that you'd probably fuck me into the damn mattress if you got a chance", he whispered, covering his mouth soon after and averting the blondes gaze again, as if those eyes were piercing daggers finding their way into his skin. Why was he like this, actually?

      "Never!" Caelan brought out a new side of him, something more playful and something a lot more indecent - someone that he didn't know he could be, but he definitely knew that he was. Did he mind? Not really. But he also knew well enough that not knowing and maybe knowing were two different things and one of them would be his end one day. "Even if I wasn't good, I'd probably have to practice on someone, somewhere - but thanks, wouldn't want it any other way", he chuckled. Whatever happiness was, he wasn't sure if he'd ever truly felt it, now that he was feeling all of this - his lover was too good to him, too good for him and it showed - Ronan knew, fully well at that, who he was and what he was doing to him. His hands jerked upward, slowly brushing the blonde strands of hair out of Caelans face as he crept closer. "You were a good puppy so far, it almost feels bad denying you your spoils." But Ronan was still Ronan and he'd be damned if he wouldn't find a way to do things, one way or another. Was this the only solution he had? Be mean and just tense up under the blondes stinging hot touch, every single time his hands found another area to carress? His eyes stung as well, as if the light was too bright and they widened upon hearing what Caelan had said. "I ... you ... you want ... what?", he asked in disbelief. God, what was this going to be? Well, the hand on his ass gave him a vague idea, made his cheeks flare up - this was bound to become a disaster, was it not? "Do whatever you want with me, I'm yours."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I...!", Caelan began his sentence but had nothing in his defense... nothing at all. "Well yeah i did...", he admitted with an embarrassed chuckle, if Cameron was a slut he was one himself... probably. But this part of his life was over, was it not? After all, he had Ronan now, he didn't need to search for something anymore that he wouldn't have found anyway, he had what he had looked for, the feeling he belonged somewhere, to someone and so much more. Caelans eyes widened for a second, then he laughed. "Ronan! I... what do you take me for? I'm... not as bold as you might think... and I think I'm also not that horny... I... not that I would say no to trying what... you let me read, but, I'm also not sure about how any of this works... you know? And aside from that, I really just want you to enjoy yourself." Caelan blushed again, Ronan was something else... well Caelan admitted he was somewhat a slut, but... not with him and... he wasn't even sure if he would have fucked him by now, if he was a girl... probably not.

      "Then I'll bite it off one day!", Caelan chuckled, enjoying this little playful dispute between the two of them. "Well I didn't say there is no room to improve... I'll sacrifice myself as a training tool...", he said as if he gave his life for something, overly dramatic, but with a grin. He wouldn't mind feeling Ronans lips down there again, not at all, especially since he was way too drunk last time. Otherwise he wouldn't have let him do it in the first place, now was a different story however. Caelan was the one leaning into Ronans touch right now, while he closed his eyes for a second, just enjoying the feeling. As he opened his eyes again Ronan looked almost spooked. "Oh! No! I think you misunderstood, I... don't you offer yourself up just like that!", he answered, now he almost felt bad for Ronan sacrificing his body like that, he didn't mean to have sex with him right away, not like that he... he grabbed Ronans hand and slowly pulled it downwards, letting it rest between his legs. They were competing to have the most red cheeks as it seemed and though Ronan had done more than touch Caelans dick, he now felt his heart try to race Ronans as well. He let go of Ronans hand and moved his own a few inches to find its place on Ronans mid, not moving just yet. "That's... that's really all I meant..."

    • "See? Got you", Ronan laughed, thrilled about that little victory of his. Caelan was his, he wouldn't let him go, but what lay in the past was still worth mentioning until it dissipated, alongside other memories. "So what do you have to say for yourself, slut?", he teased, as if that was the most normal thing to do, but Ronan couldn't keep a straight face with that one, he couldn't help but grin like an idiot at first and then let out a small snort, burying his face in Caelans chest for a mere minute before he had laughed it off. "Maybe I'm also just saying what I'd like you to do, but you're Caelan of Fhaergus - if you've spent a night with that many girls, why not spend another one with me? Though, no pressure - I'm merely teasing. Please take your time and like I said, I know. So don't sweat it, I'll be gentle too", he retaliated, feeling like he'd pushed too far, too fast and he was right about that. Caelan wasn't comfortable yet and Ronan did respect that, he barely knew anything and yet, he was approached by so many things, so many foreign feelings and he, most likely, was still trying to figure out so much more than the emotional turmoil he'd gotten saddled with. "Lets take our time and worry about it later, alright?", he said, pressing a soft kiss to the blondes lips.

      "Don't you dare!" This was an outrageous development and he couldn't help but appreciate that the embarrassment was long gone already - that there wasn't much more for them to do except belong to one another, no? "Sacrifice? The word you mean is volunteer. As if it's a burden to have me blow you." Theoretically, Ronan of Alster was a handful, but most of the time, that didn't really show until it was already too late and he ensnared someone in his traps - well, that what was he liked to think. They both were hopeless, maybe even faithless and it showed. Ronan didn't need anyone but Caelan, he just wanted to be out here, in this dumb hut, and live his life like he saw fit, share it with whomever he saw fit and that was, at least right now, the future Duke of Fhaergus who enjoyed all those little touches he was offering him, it seemed. "What if I want to offer myself up to you? Isn't it easier for you to show me then skirt around on the borders of the topic?" Wasn't that the nail he wanted to put in the coffin? Who knew. Ronan, on the other hand, finally understood - or rather felt what his lover had wanted - his eyes wandered upward to Caelans, a chuckle escaped from his parted lips. "Just that?", he asked, but instead of waiting for an answer, he started to stroke the blonde, ever so slightly, just to tease him.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Ronan kept a straight face long enough to have Caelan think of an answer. "I... uh... that I'm your slut now?", he asked and could understand that Ronan had to laugh for a very long time now, Caelan just shook his head, sighed a little and held him. He would have that stuck to him now, won't he? Ronan didn't seem like the kind of person to forget something like that and he would bring it up whenever he felt the need to annoy Caelan, but he didn't mind actually. When Ronan calmed down he only made Caelan blush even more, wasn't he supposed to be the bold, cocky and experienced one? Now he almost felt dares, but at the same time, he was just hoping that Ronan continued to tell him what he should do and push him in the right direction. "I'd... I'd spent any night with you from now on, if I could.", he answered, not sure if Ronans was really thinking Caelan didn't want to do any of that, that he would push him away and rather have a girl with him again. The truth was he was just careful, if he offended a girl, or she didn't feel as good as she wanted to afterwards, well... Caelan didn't want to meet her again anyway, but he didn't want to scare Ronan away. "I trust you... I just don't want to hurt you or scare you away. I'll do whatever you like me to do... really. I want to." It seemed like they both were a tad to careful about this, on the other hand maybe this was just right after all, there was no need to rush.

      "Volunteer... yeah, yeah right!", Caelan chuckled again, making it sound like volunteer wasn't the right word at all, but of course it ws. Caelan wanted nothing more than let Ronan test on him whatever he wanted to. Did they both offer too much of themselves too fast? No... Caelan was willing to do whatever Ronan wanted and it seemed like Ronan wanted the same, yet both of them were caring and thinking about both of their feelings and worries, it was just right. "It's somehow easier... when I don't face you, that's stupid right?", Caelan asked with a slim smile, he did touch Ronan yesterday in the bathtub, but now while lying here and looking into his face it felt completely different. There was less of the pure lust he had felt yesterday and less of him just wanting to have Ronan enjoy himself, now there was more he felt himself. It wasn't just about exchanging touches, he was feeling close to Ronan and he felt like trying to figure out what they wanted, sharing their excitement and lust as well as their shyness and embarrassment. In this moment the soft, almost fading touch was enough to send shivers down Caelans spine, his cheeks grew even more red, if that was even possible and he didn't dare to look into Ronans eyes for too long, for some reason he felt vulnerable all of a sudden, but he still felt safe, because it was Ronan that was here with him. He returned the touch he received with the same gentleness and pressure and he noticed that he had stopped breathing for some reason, as if the tiniest noise could disturb them.

    • Ronan couldn't keep a straight face, no matter if he'd try harder than this or not - he couldn't help himself but laugh again and Caelans proposal. "Well, you certainly have a grasp on the situation, but keep that to yourself, will you?", was all he said regarding that matter, while taking mental note to maybe call Caelan his slut once in a while, just for fun, of course. Not that he'd ever be mean to him, would he now? It was almost impossible to tease him in public, but it would suffice for a faint, passing whisper and it would also be enough for him to have his own fun, regardless of the situation they were in, as long as he used it moderately and didn't get distracted by the blonde, blushing like they were holding a contest right now. "I'd do the same. It's a shame we can't just stay here for as long as we want." Unfortunately, there were duties waiting to be attended and there was nothing more than the world out there, the world that didn't care for their relationship with one another, but rather for much, so much more, that they weren't interested in. "That's another promise then, huh? But ... I'm glad you trust me, I do, too." Was that the truth or was he lying, yet again? Ronan wasn't sure, he never was, but this time it felt genuine and not as if he was going to wind up hurting the blonde with one wrong word.

      "You're a dork", he mumbled, this close to sighing, but instead, he kept the good mood going as long as he could and just smiled, knowing fully well that he was the one that got played like a fiddle right now. Actually, maybe that was alright - maybe it was fine for him to just enjoy getting teased, or teasing the blonde back, all the while having a cheeky grin plastered onto his face and feeling the heat pool in his stomach, as if his body was going to be elevated and the world was going to look somewhat differently in a few minutes. They were intimate with one another, something he wouldn't ever dare to picture and yet, it was happening. "No, it's fine. Youre' just embarrassed and unsure how to deal with all of this, I assume. But that's fine, everyone has to take first steps somewhere", Ronan explained and continued at the same pace, let his hand move while his lips searched for suitable spots on Caelans collarbone, throat and partially his chest to kiss, bite, lick or slightly suck on - just so that he could leave marks that would stay and make him feel even better, even when he himself felt like he was going to flare up any second and burn down, almost to crisp. Caelan did a proper job, almost too good to be true, and yet Ronan wanted more and it probably wasn't a secret at all.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • For someone that told Caelan he hadn't laughed or even smiled in years Ronan sure was easy to amuse, not that Caelan would mind. He was glad that he was able to make him enjoy this time and not be grumpy or sad all the time, actually there was nothing better he could wish for. "We'll sneak back here as soon as we can...", Caelan smiled faintly, he already didn't want to leave this place, he didn't want to leave Ronan for who knew how long. He'd sit in Fhaergus and Ronan would sit in Alster, both of them wanting to be together, but they couldn't. If one of them was girl they couldn't glue themselves to each other as well, but it would have been easier to meet up and spend time together, though Caelan doubted that his father would let him marry the Alster sprout and Ronans father wouldn't be a fan of it either probably. It was better to not think about those things now and rather enjoy the moment with Ronan as long as it lasted, so he leaned forward to kiss him softly.

      "Isn't that one reason you like me?", Caelan asked grinning, stealing another kiss right after as if his question was answered with yes, because Ronan didn't stop him from pressing his lips onto his own. Caelan loved this situation right now, being as close under the warm blanket, he just hoped it was warm enough for Ronan without his clothes on. His fingers and the tip of his nose were somewhat cold, but feeling Ronans skin on his body didn't feel bad at all. He got goosebumps all over his body and wasn't sure on what of those many touches he should concentrate on, all while he himself tried to find a way to plaster Ronans body with kisses and gentle bites. "How come... you keep your cool like that, while I'm not...?", he asked whispering, almost trembling already and it didn't need more than just some simple touches that almost seemed accidentally, while they clearly were not. Maybe it was the fact that Ronans touches were so faintly that made him slowly loose his mind and needed him to remind himself to not forget moving his own hand and lips over Ronans body.

    • Who knew, maybe the heir of Alster wasn't as he seemed to be - maybe he was much more than he let on, but in the end, Ronan was Ronan and truth be told, he was not someone that was up for everything. Whatever felt like a nuisance to him would be cast off immediately and if someone crossed him the wrong way, there was bound to be some shouting, or things worse than that. Who was he, if not his father? There was no such thing as joy or love in his life and yet, he ended up experiencing it, almost as if he'd waited for Caelan to come by and ignite some sort of flame inside of him. Was he mad about it? Not in the slightest. Actually, he was enjoying himself for all that it was worth and truth be told, why would he deny himself his own feelings? Ronan could do what he wanted, could ponder his next move or whether or not he was suited to become a good duke, but the only thing he didn't really doubt was his connection to Caelan - something pure, almost sincere that would endure so much more than a few hits from a dull blade. "Is that a threat or a promise?", he asked, his voice uncertain and his frown long gone. Ronan was enthralled, not only by his lovers touches, or his voice - it was everything. Caelan felt like he was an unstoppable force, like someone he'd have to fear, but instead he didn't - instead, he wanted to devote himself to the blonde and never look back.

      "Because you're a big idiot that thinks he knows so much more than he does? Well, it is somewhat endearing, I'll give you that", he answered, smiling. All of this had happened because Ronan was stupid enough to not take the carriage and here they were, bound to one another by fate and yet, they didn't mind. They belonged to each other, they wanted to be with one another - and there was nothing else that mattered. The warmth of the blanket encompassed him, all while Caelans own burned himself deeper and deeper into his skin, sending shivers down his spine and letting him feel foreign sensations he couldn't describe, not even if he tried. This was all his own fault, was it not? "I'm just good at hiding my embarrassment I'd say, but actually ... that's a lie", he mused stroking the blonde some more and biting down once again, torturing the spot he'd found and definitely wanting to mark Caelan as his property once more - his teeth, as sharp as they were, didn't sink in all the way and the grin, spreading on Ronans face, was only overshadowed by the red color his face had by now. In all honesty, this was, what he'd wanted, was it now? Once he let go of Caelans skin, he gave the spot a tentative kiss, then a short lick - lest he'd overdo it. "What are you thinking about?", he asked, all the while continuing to stroke his lover, stopping the soft, almost ghastly touches and shifting to a rougher approach. "Hm? Tell me."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Both...? I'll drag you out here even if you don't want to!", Caelan replied after thinking about Ronans question for a moment. He didn't want to miss all this again, he didn't want to miss the way he felt when he was around Ronan. He couldn't bear not seeing him, the few hours he waited at the lake didn't want to go by and he felt like something was missing, how would he be able to endure this for weeks or even months? Caelan liked the winter in Fhaergus but this year he didn't want it to come, he didn't want to be cut off from Ronan for so long. He did not only long for his touches, time with him by his side was all he needed and if he was given more, he gladly accepted it, but the few hours Ronan slept on his chest was enough for him, that was all he wanted but he also needed it, there was no without it anymore.

      "I actually don't think... I know very much...", Caelan answered with a slight smile, evident by the book he had read and didn't fully understand. None of this was anything he knew and there were lots of other things Caelan had no clue about. he didn't think he was stupid, but he also was pretty sure Ronan knew a lot more than him in general. he only new stuff not fit to be known by a future duke according to his father. Maybe Ronan wasn't as nervous because he simply had read more than Caelan had. He always had though he'd be the one having the upper hand and that he was going to tease Ronan and make him say whatever he liked to hear with a trembling voice and red cheeks, but it almost seemed like the opposite was happening. "A lie...? So you're not... embarrassed...?", Caelan asked and got bitten before he could close his mouth again, resulting in a breathless moan that crept out of his throat. He wasn't sure what to concentrate on, the sweet pain caused by Ronans teeth or the touch of Ronans hand that grew firmer and more evident. His thoughts were hard to grasp as well as it was hard pleasing Ronan himself, moving his hand in a similar pace like him, while his mind got occupied by Ronan, making it hard to think, let alone speak. "I...don't...", he started not sure what to say, all there was was his lover. "I mean... nothing... really... only you."

    • "I never said I'd not want to come out here, so don't worry", Ronan chuckled. He was sweet like this, almost endearing and it showed - showed Ronan that not everything in his life was bleak, that he wasn't as forsaken as he believed himself to be. In reality, all he needed was someone to care for him, someone to give him a pat on the back and tell him he was doing good, tell him that whatever he did was fine. Caelan wasn't just there to comfort him, though - he was so much more and it was, in fact, telling about how deprived he was, deprived of love, of someones attention and affection and how easy it was to latch onto the first thing that extended a hand toward him. Right here, right now, he was nothing more than his lovers love and why should that change? Out here, far away from Kilead, far away from home, he was no one - he didn't have a name, or a title, or anything that was worth mentioning. He could become who he wanted to be, but they'd eventually search for him, no matter if he tried to hide away out here or became a scholar in the crown prince's court - someone would rat him out eventually and he'd have to come back, back home, and assume his fathers title. The mere thought was horrible, but for one, he didn't care and two, what did it matter? He was fine, just like that. Just here, in Caelan's embrace.

      "We'll work on that, don't worry." What about this situation was empowering? What was it, that made him think he wasn't embarrassed, wasn't hiding his red face in the blondes chest and thwarting every attempt he'd have to gaze upon his face? Ronan didn't want to show that his rugged breathing and his teary eyes were trying to overshadow the other parts of him - the steady rhythm his hand kept, or the unwavering tone his voice had - and all of it was an illusion, made up by him to seem like he was confident in the things he did, despite worrying - despite wondering if he was capable of hurting his love. Didn't it feel wrong to paint a false picture of himself and exposing it to Caelan like that? Well, he wouldn't want his voice to crack and he, very much, wouldn't like to find out what it meant to become the person he actually was - the crybaby he had to be. "Oh, I am, Caelan. I'm so embarrassed, I can't even look you in the eyes", he chuckled, almost silently, as whatever other words he had in mind died in his throat, as he latched back onto the blondes skin, biting down again, sucking and torturing another spot, on his throat this time - they'd last for a few days until they'd fade, even if Ronan never wanted them to. As if he was hellbent on torturing the blonde, as if he was chasing something - namely pleasure - he upped the pace just a bit more. "Just me? I like that. You're too good to me, puppy."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Then it's just a promise.", Caelan smiled, even if his father hid Ronan away because he caught onto their friendship, because he didn't want him to even talk to Caelan, Caelan wouldn't let it be, never. If he had to, he would march into the Alster estate and ask them to stay there, they couldn't just deny a future dukes request, even if Darragh was himself duke. All the rules and etiquette that annoyed Caelan and Ronan so much were also helping sometimes, like when they visited each other. Whatever Allard would think of Ronan wouldn't matter, he wasn't going to kick him out and risk a dispute between Alster and Fhaergus. Caelan wouldn't let anyone drive them apart but in the end he just wanted some quiet time alone with him, here in this little hideout.

      "I'll count more on you than on the books you know?", Caelan smiled, at some point they would try something out, the only question was when and who had the guts to just do it. Ronan had read a lot more so Caelan kinda counted on him, he counted on him to tell Caelan what to do exactly, or just do it himself. "Now you're... making fun of me...", Caelan noticed, biting his lip, the alcohol had made it so much easier to not even make one single sound while Ronans lips where wrapped around him, but now? This felt so good, multiple shivers ran down his spine, his body was trembling while the free hand clung to Ronan, searching for a spot to hold on to. For gods sake, he wanted to plaster Ronans body with kisses and yet Ronan was the one sucking on a patch of skin on Caelans throat. It felt good to have the tender body in his arms, to feel Ronans warmth and every patch of skin that touched left a burning sensation. "How would I... think of anything else right now?", Caelan asked, then he turned his head and pressed his face into the pillow, this was somewhat embarrassing, why was his face so red and why wasn't he able to speak a straight sentence? Why was Ronan though? "Are... Are you enjoying this...?", he asked kind of worried, maybe he forgot about moving his hand up- and downwards a tad too much, though it didn't feel like it...

    • "One you ought to keep. Do not disappoint me, Caelan of Fhaergus", the black haired youth murmured, as if it was important to come back here with the blonde, sooner or later that was. In the end, they'd find themselves enthralled by the others beauty, find themselves back in this damned hut and find a way to enjoy himself regardless. Weren't they both sides of the same coin? In the end, they were somewhat bound together, fated to live life alongside one another, without even daring to care about any ghastly touch that they'd waste on one another. What was this, if not torture in its highest form? Was Ronan not bound to live an empty, loveless life that this world was offering him? But why should he, if he didn't have to? Maybe he could devote the rest of his life to something else, but who knew - he'd become duke, marry some girl he never had met before and when all was said and done, he'd have a child or two, an unloving wife and a country at his heel that looked up to him, that heralded him as their liberation or something - but did he need that? This was, what Darragh and his muddled bloodline wanted, but this wasn't what he wanted, nor what he desired. Actually, he wanted nothing more than to be with Caelan and spend endless nights with him together, no matter where, as long as he could do whatever he wanted.

      "I know, I know - but I haven't slept with a man myself, you know? I just know what those books tell me, I'm not as experienced as their authors", he sighed and maybe, just maybe, he wished to be raised by the wolves with their absent morals and their free spirits. Who was he, if not a caged bird that had found someone with a key? And yet, Caelan had no idea how to use the key - instead, he pried the cage bars open, just for a moment, to allow him to slip out without being found immediately. "I'm not, I mean it. I can't look you in the eyes right now or I'll lose it", he mumbled, drawing circles across pale, untouched but scar-marred skin. This was the inevitable truth that he didn't want to admit to, this was, who he was - someone who feigned confidence, someone who loved so deeply and profound, it was almost embarrassing to admit that he even did get charmed by a few, throwaway words. What were they? Well, what the hell did he know - he wanted someone to be his, so he would. "That's not what I meant, I just wanted to hear it, you know?", he chuckled, knowing fully well he still was winning this if he kept focusing on all that bare, untouched skin and biting down on it. "Why wouldn't I?", he said, knowingly, but then stopped his hand from moving, as if he wanted to test Caelan one last time. "But you, what do you want?", Ronan asked, letting his hand rest for a bit, shying away just for a second without even giving the blonde a chance to edge himself off further. "Hm?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I won't! I won't... nobody will stop me from spending time with you, from taking you with me to a secluded place like this hut.", Caelan answered, pressing his face against Ronans shoulder. What if they were allowed to meet each other, to be friends and even more than that? What if they were allowed to kiss and hold each other, what if there were no rules and no fathers to stop them, would Caelan show Ronan around then? No, he liked spending time with him here, he liked having him for his own, loving him, holding him without anyone to disturb them. He wasn't liking the idea of certain death if they were found out, but even if that wouldn't happen, he'd hide away from everything and everyone with Ronan, just to be at peace while getting to know who he desired so much. The feelings he already had developed for Ronan felt otherwordly, almost like a spell, for someone he didn't even really know he felt like he did very much and he felt like there was nothing that was able to change his mind, even Ronans darkest secret wouldn't change his affection for him.

      "I know... but, you read a lot more than me.", Caelan said, his breathing got more ragged while he continued hiding his face for now and softly biting Ronans skin. He wasn't able to concentrate enough to leave a mark like the ones Ronan left on his own body, he needed to keep breathing and it felt like he couldn't if he was occupied. At least Ronan told him that he in fact was embarrassed too and the fact alone made Caelan feel slightly better, while the urge to look into Ronans face grew. The fact that he was able to see Caelans own red face was acceptable, though Ronan made it even worse with the following words and the fact that he just stopped what he was doing. "Y-you... you want me to say it... huh?", he asked, he could hear his heart beating in his chest and bit down on his own lip for a moment. Why did Ronan have to stop now? He moved his head back a little at least he could strike back in simply looking into Ronans face, while his own cheeks filled with warmth and his teary, longing eyes fixated on the fellow noble. His heart was trying its best to climb out of his throat while he forced himself to say what he thought Ronan wanted to hear, anything to make him continue what he started, while his own hand tightened the grip around Ronan. "I... I want you to...", he started but changed his mind. "No actually... I want you." Caelans eyes wandered to the side, he never felt so embarrassed in his whole life but on the other hand it was more than fine for Ronan to make him feel this way and let his cheeks glow. "Keep going... please...", he begged, did he let Ronan win the upper hand right now? He always had had it though... but that wasn't all that Caelan wanted. "But... I want us both to...", he didn't dare say it, but his hand which was still located at Ronans mid made evident what was was that Caelan wanted in the end. The grip grew stronger, the pace not necessarily faster, but strong, while he worried that one more touch of Ronan was enough to send himself off the edge way too easy.

    • "I trust you on this", Ronan mused. Did he really, truly, have power over a man his age, so much taller and stronger than him and was he able to command him like a dog who knew every trick in the book? It seemed like it and it didn't feel bad - commanding Caelan felt like it was something he wanted to do, that came naturally and yet, he wouldn't mind being the one pushed around, told what to do and to stop whatever he was doing. Was this his divine punishment for being someone like this? For loving someone like that? In this world, so far away from everything that seemed to make sense, was it wise to be himself? Ronan wasn't sure, but after all, why should it matter? And actually, why was it supposed to matter? The black haired noble knew enough about himself, but not enough about his significant other that - by all means - was just someone he was supposed to entertain, wasn't he? A faint smile crept upon his lips when he thought about his love, but right here, right now, he had everything he had everything he desired, didn't he? "You can catch up and just reading isn't valid experience that you can apply to situations, you know? I may know more, but ... that doesn't exactly mean that I did from the get go when I realized that I liked men, you know?" When he did, he wasn't sure if he was repulsed by himself or everyone around him, or why this was happening to someone like him of all people.

      The biting felt good, heavenly almost, but they weren't able to break skin, weren't able to leave marks like this and yet, he didn't mind. Caelan could do whatever he wanted, any way he wanted and it felt like it would kill him to know how it felt to be gazed upon by his eyes, how it felt to be exposed - he wasn't good at keeping his cool when he was being looked at, was horrible at providing a satisfactory reaction and all in all, that only landed him where, exactly? Here, of all places. "I want to hear all of it", he whispered, as if it would stop the blonde from trying to see his face, as if it would help that he, himself was yearning for release and that all of this would mean he'd have to change either the sheets or the blanket once they were done - Ronan didn't know if he didn't mind. Still, their eyes met and Ronans hand - previously occupied drawing patterns into Caelans chest - jerked upward, to cover his bright red face - it felt hard to breathe, hard to keep up the eye contact. His lovers touch didn't help, not one bit - now he was at Caelans mercy and he hated to admit just that. "You want ... me?", he stammered, confused, sucking in a sharp breath of air, almost choking on it in the process. Ronan of Alster was baffled by the response, as vague as ever. "You ... make it hard ... for me", he sneered, as his hand seemingly complied and moved back to stroke Caelans dick, the pace rough and fast, knowingly having gotten a taste of his own medicine. Heat had risen into his face and his lower region, spreading evenly in his stomach and it felt horrible, knowing he was so damn close. "Fine, then. But ... next time you ... spell it out", he hissed, sucking in another sharp breath of air and subsequently letting a moan slip from his clenched teeth as he came and, probably, ruined not only Caelans hand but the sheets and the blanket.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan knew that he had to be insane by now, that all of this should be wrong while it felt so good. He wanted Ronan nobody else, he wanted him so much it almost hurt, it actually did hurt when they were apart, his heart aching and his mind occupied by the man he barely knew. He was able to get every girl he wanted, but in the end he chose a future duke, a handful at that and he not only chose him, he already had offered up himself to him. He wanted him to be happy, to feel good for a change, he wanted him to tell him how he could make him feel better. He was fine with being commanded actually, though he was taller and probably stronger than Ronan, it didn't feel like it, it felt like Ronan already knew how to play him, how to get what he wanted. Even when he grabbed Ronan for a second to have the upper hand it felt just weird to have to think about all he did himself like that, he was worried he'd do something wrong and he couldn't loose Ronan after he found him only a few days ago. It just felt too good to do his bidding and be praised and it didn't stop him from being cocky from time to time. "I know... but you've had more time than me...", Caelan smiled, but they both had to figure out how this relationship would work in the future.

      Ronans whispering drove Caelan even more insane, his thoughts swirling and seemingly unreachable. His body tingled with every breath he took at first, until the sensation didn't stop at all anymore and made his breathing uneven as well as his heart race. Ronan was so adorable while he tried to hide his face, while they couldn't bare looking at each other for too long anyway. This was the first time they were doing this face to face after all, it was normal to feel this way, right? Caelan got to Ronan as much as Ronan got to him and it made him feel more comfortable, even after Ronan already said he enjoyed this. He sucked in some air through his teeth as soon as Ronan lay hand on him again. He pressed his forehead against Ronans, his body twitched under the nobles touch and he shut his eyes. Everything seemed to vanish, everything but Ronan, his touch, his warmth, his breathing and smell, all of it occupied Caelans world. He was unable to utter an answer let alone even one single world, while the sweet sound that was Ronans mode pushed him off the edge as well. He himself let out a groan, while an electrifying feeling rushed through his body all the way to his fingertips and toes. They both made a complete mess of the bed, the sticky and warm feeling on Caelans hand proved as much, but he didn't mind it, actually he did like the feeling. His breathing evened out slowly, but his world was still turning and he started talking before he was able to gather his thoughts. "That...was...", was all he could utter, his body felt heavy, he didn't want to move and didn't want to leave Ronans side anyway. A tingling feeling still rushed through his body every now and then and finally he found the strength to inch closer and wrap his arms around Ronan to feel him just a ittle while longer.

    • Bliss was best described as just that which he'd reached - waves of pleasure had washed over him and the only consequence he did suffer from was that he'd ruined their bed and promptly wiped his dirtied hand into the sheets below, knowing that they couldn't stay in here all day now. Maybe, they should actually just wash themselves after this before ... "I had more time than you but that doesn't mean you don't catch up to me eventually and ... I'm willing to give you as long as you need, you know?" Getting up again felt like a pain and that also meant that they'd have to get some more water, heat it up and then crawl back into the bathtub and all of it would take up time, so instead, he just cuddled up to Caelan and decided to ignore all of his worldly responsibilites and focus on what he actually cared about. Which, most certainly, wasn't much of the aftermath he should be reveling in and caring about. They both needed some time, to regain lost strength and to feel like they were whole again, not like a pebble in the oceans waves, being swept up once and being let go immediately after. Ronan felt like he had found heaven, even if only for a moment, but Caelans touch had felt so unbearably good, it was ridiculous. Silence befell them soon after, but he didn't mind, not at all.

      "I ... felt good", he mumbled, rubbing his face against Caelans chest soon after, feeling blondes arms slowly wrapping around him and ... why was this so nice? Why did it all feel so good, so unexpected and so foreign, yet welcome and like something he'd rather cherish than forsake? For now, he shouldn't question it - for now, it was alright and he should just forget about it all. Instead, he put one of his arms around Caelan, his hand onto the fellow nobles back and started to caress him, to draw nonsensical patterns into the pale skin and feel up some of those unseen scars from earlier that Caelan felt like sharing stories about. Once he stopped feeling like he was stuck in a daze, he peered upward, back into his lovers face and smiled. "What about you?", he asked, as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to keep being in bed, or just check if there was something else for them to do. What would they even do out here? A bunch of stuff came to mind, but right now, he didn't even want to flee Caelan's embrace, or find something else to do - he felt warm and loved here, just like that, and there was no need to give up that comfort just so he could keep his mind occupied with different thoughts. "And ... what now?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.