sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

Ronan was convinced that his father would be positively grossed out by Caelans idea to have him visit Fhaergus - normally, his old man would come with any excuse he could grasp to not have his son go somewhere he didn't want him to be. However, his mother had already taken care of that for him, had made sure that there would be no chance for Darragh to deny that and for some reason, he was glad that there wasn't going to be a whole argument as tho why he shouldn't be allowed in Fhaergus, or why joining Caelan on a little trip back home would break all of his bones, but there was none of that nonsense coming from his old mans mouth - it felt almost weird to get things he wanted, to have his fathers approval for something he actually wanted to do and Ronan felt positively confused by both Caelans and Saoirse's ability to change someones mind about something that quick. "You don't need to hurry, take all the time you need to heal", his mother chimed in when Caelan proposed that he could just write the letter as soon as possible. It would take some time to arrive at Caelans place, though and they still had to wait for an answer. "Are you finished talking? I'd like to enjoy just one meal in peace", Darragh grumbled from the other side of the table - now he was pissed.

"Don't be like that, you started talking - and you could at least be nice while guests are around", his mother chastised Darragh with a sigh, but instead, his old man only shook his head. This was the usual family feud he was used to, which was why he just shrugged his shoulders at Caelan and started to pick apart his own meal soon thereafter. "And I'm sure that, if you wanted to enjoy one meal in peace, you'd not have started talking to our son like that - it's your own fault." Clearly, his mother had woken up and chosen violence today - she didn't fear her husband one bit, who'd already shut up and been talked into submission by three people who wouldn't just shut up. Now, however, there was an awkward bit of silence between the four of them - this had to happen. "While Caelan is here, and when he's feeling better, I could sh-", he started, but was stared down by his father once again when he glanced up. For gods sake, did his mother not live in fear of this man or did she simply never receive looks like these? Whatever it was, Ronan envied her for it, just a little bit too much. "If he's feeling better, you could at least show him around town - but there's no need to rush." His mother was a saint, wasn't she? "I'm sure a few days outside of the mansion would also work wonders for both of you, I barely have seen either of you in the last few days." Now, Saoirse was throwing shade, but she was right - they had been cooped up in Caelans room all the time.

"Oh, that's a great idea - would it be too much to ask if you sent them my regards?", Saoirse asked, smiling at Caelan. What was going on here? Ronan wasn't entirely sure what it was, but for some reason it felt odd for his mother to ask something like that, or was that just how he viewed it? Though, he probably was overthinking everything that everyone at this table was doing and he most likely wasn't doing a good job at hiding the fact that he was nervous - mainly because his father wat so close to him, but also because it felt just about odd for him to be the topic of conversation in such a hurtful manner, especially when people were around that had no idea about the inner workings of his pretty much dysfunctional family. Even if Caelan smiled at him, he couldn't exactly smile back - instead, he just glanced at him and, if he could, he'd apologize for the chaos his father had caused right about now. The rest of the meal, he wanted to spend in silence, but his mother had already done so much more for him that shutting up felt like accepting defeat at his fathers hands, did it not? In the end, there wasn't much more for him to do than hope for better times, or maybe even a moment of silence that allowed him to gather his voice again.

"Oh, thank you for the invitation, but I'll have to politely decline. There are a few things that we have to take care of, but Ronan knows the capital just fine - he'll show you around, no?", his mother answered his boyfriend - an odd thought alone - but she'd never know, after all, they were just friends or maybe even less than that, weren't they? Whatever, it didn't matter, neither she nor Darragh would ever find out and even if they did, it was way too early to even claim that they had a significant relationship with one another, for all his parents knew, they officially met for the first time at the tournament. "Of course, I'll show him everything he'd like to see", Ronan answered his mother before actually smiling at the blonde, as if here to signal him something, very much anything. Wasn't it somewhat embarrassing that he had to have someone else help him talk, just in the presence of his father? "No need to apologize, I'm sure that you both would have been terribly bored otherwise - having someone to talk to when you can't move too much or move much is a good change of pace. If you feel up to the task, you could step out for a short walk in the courtyard, but again, there's no need to rush things", his mother suggested once more, which - seemingly - was the final straw for his father, who's plate had been mostly empty by now. "I'll take my leave - enjoy the rest of your meal", Darragh mumbled before taking off and closing the door behind him. Ronan sighed, Saoirse did the same and they both looked at Caelan, pretty wordless, for a second. "I'm sorry for my husbands behavior, he ... can be quite rash."

"Thank you", she simply answered. Ronan knew that his mother was quite the friendly person, an open book even and yet, even someone like her kept her secrets, secrets that nobody was supposed to uncover and even if they did, she was sure to silence them before they could even attempt to share any of them - but that wasn't anything new. Saoirse wasway less scary than Darragh, even to him - someone that knew what Darragh could do, that knew what his mother could do if she felt threatened. Alsters nobles seemed to be quite the dysfunctional family and then again, they also were glued to one another, for no reason in particular, just because they didn't want their secrets to surface and for some reason, there seemed to be an unspoken, mutual agreement about that. While Ronan eyed both his mother and his boyfriend from where he sat, he wondered if those two would get along - if it was fine for him to eventually tell Caelan what was plagueing them both, why they were acting the way they did, but they had time until then. A lot, in fact. "It would be bad if I didn't know the capital of my own country, would it now?", he chuckled, which - in turn - seemed to cause his mother to light up a bit. Actually, when was the last time he had laughed around her, too? Caelan was the one doing wonders.

Alster wasn't exactly the largest of them and while the capital had a few things to offer, Ronan would rather not show the entirety of his country off to his boyfriend - was there any need to? Well, aside from his mother urging him to and his boyfriend wanting to see it, there wasn't much more than that except the fact that his own mother had roped him into agreeing, hadn't she? "He could stand to be more polite, especially around a fellow noble that doesn't belong to his own family", Saoirse sighed, but eventually continued to eat what was left on her plate - unlike Ronan, who barely was eating anything on there. It wasn't that he disliked his food, but he - more or less - had lost his appetite the moment his father had started being an asshole. "Has he paid you a visit today?", his mother asked, smiling at the blonde. "If not, why pay him a visit after dinner?", she suddenly suggested. Ronan knew that his mother didn't mean to insult either of them, or suggest to leave the mansion in the dead of the night, but she probably didn't want either of them to stay inside for longer than they had to - and maybe, just maybe, she saw Caelan as an opportunity to get him out of the house, too. "Now then", Saoirse said, glancing between him and Caelan, trying to find anything, something - an explanation for things that better were left unexplained. "Is there anything else either of you want to know, now that Darragh isn't here?" Ronan shook his head - this had to be some sort of trap, wasn't it?

Whether his mother was taken aback or just seeing through their facade, Ronan couldn't quite tell. Truthfully, this felt like misery and there was no apparent chance to warn Caelan about any things that could happen or could be said, which was why he laid down low and speared some vegetables on his fork to stuff his face with, even though he wasn't hungry at all. His eyes wandered from his plate to the blonde, then back to his mother and then back to the plate - all of this had been disastrous from the start, had it not? After all, whatever they attemped, their conversation had already gone south, no? "That's a relief", Saoirse said, still smiling at Caelan - something was clearly amiss here, but that might just have been his flawed intuition or a wrong guess - after all, his mother neither meant harm when it came to his friends, nor was she dissatisfied with the fact that he was befriending the future Duke of Fhaergus. Quite the opposite actually, but something just felt wrong. "Don't force yourself to do something you aren't ready for yet, alright?", she said, not necessarily directed at either of them ... which was odd in its own regard, but she couldn't know anything, would she now? This all sounded odd, one way or the other, but Ronan still wasn't able to discern why, which was - in turn - why he glanced at Caelan, rather confused.

Whatever the blonde could have asked, Ronan wasn't going to stop him - and when he finally did, he earned some laughter from Saoirse, just as if he'd made the best joke she'd ever heard. That, too, was something that confused him, seemingly because it had been a normal question, one Caelan had been allowed to ask. "Well, for not wanting to be nosy, you are quite caught up in other peoples affairs, are you not?", she asked, but there wasn't any reason why she shouldn't humor Caelans questions, was there? Ronan wasn't sure, his mother was someone that did whatever she wanted without thinking about possible repercussions to begin with. "See, I'm not sure if your father would want you to know the whole thing, so I'd advise you to ask him. What I can tell you, however, is that we're good friends, nothing more. We've known each other since we've been children, therefore it's only normal for us to gossip from time to time", she explained. Ronan was astounded himself - his mother had never told him before that and naturally, it sounded stupid to even assume anything else. "I mean, I could have introduced the two of you sooner, but my dear husband can't really stand Allard, so I refrained - god knows why."

Breaking through his fathers thick skin was though work and even then, one would only find that he'd been rotten down to the core for years now, find that there was nothing salvageable about his old man to begin with and then they'd move on, search for something else, for someone else that wasn't like his father, like a man that nobody could read, but that reeked of lies and deceit instead. Truth be told, his absence helped with brightening his mood quite a bit, tried to tie him to the things right in front of his eyes rather than letting him dwell on stuff that he should have forgotten a while ago - but that wasn't what Ronan wanted to think about to begin with. His mother was close, so was Caelan and while someone was here, there was no way in hell that his father would decide to mess with him, or rather mess him up throughtly, at least he doubted that he would make the attempt and then have to explain the bruises he left. For now, he pushed his plate aside and looked at his mother, who merely smiled back at him and when he diverted his gaze to Caelan, he felt like he'd rather signal for the two of them to leave, although, in the presence of his mother, that would be nothing more than rude, considering she was the oldest one and the highest ranking noble among the three of them.

"No need to, I'm just joking", she said, fighting to hold back her amusement - she hadn't intended to make either of them flustered, though, Ronan knew that his mother was, among other things, quite harsh when it came to her choice of words, but for now, there wasn't anything to be concerned by, nor was there a single moment for Ronan to think about all of this when he started fidgeting around for a second, only listening to the conversation, not joining in. "Right, do that if you want to know more - normally I wouldn't be so prude about this, but alas, this is something your father should rather tell you yourself", Saoirse mustered. Ronan wasn't sure what she meant by that, why she said it like that and why on earth she was not just telling him, leaving him in the dark as well, but there was no time to be upset about details, not really. "I don't think it's about that ... I just do think that he despises the entirety of Fhaergus' nobility for no good reason, but I apologize, I'm overstepping my boundaries. You're always welcome here, as long as I'm here." Theoretically speaking, his mother shouldn't have to itneract with Caelan, whom he shot a quick glance once again, but she did anyway, only for her to get up soon thereafter. "Now then, if you don't have anything else you'd like to know, I'll leave you two alone."

Even if this wasn't a battle, they had been triumphant - at least Ronan thought they were, even if if he wasn't sure if that even was the right word, especially after his mother was the next person to just get up and leave. At least she didn't stir up a ruckus like her husband had done and to this day, he wasn't entirely sure how she made do with someone like Darragh, how she actually could have a child with him and claim to love all of them, despite clearly never caring about what that husband of hers had felt - if she did, wouldn't she have told him about that little affair of hers, or was she rather keen on saving her own skin, instead of disregarding it all? "You mean it was a good use of food", he commented, shoving his own plate in Caelans direction, as if to signal him he'd have to eat his leftovers as well, just so that it would look like that he had actually not paid attention to his food and just eaten it all. Ronan wasn't up to the task, he never was, but right now, he just felt like he couldn't stomach any of this. "My mother? Liking you?", he suddenly chuckled, then pointed at the meat on his plate.

"Do me a favor and eat my fill too", he suddenly blurted out, smiling at Caelan - was he apologizing to him in his own way or was this merely an attempt to get him to do his bidding once more? Whatever it was, Ronan had no ulterior motives, actually he just wanted to have his food gone and wanted Caelan to eat properly, even if he maybe shouldn't. "My mother isn't as hard to deal with as my father, but don't get too confident", he said, shaking his head. "Every noble has committed their fair share of atrocities - if she wants you to be silent, she will make sure you are, trust me. But for now, you're on her good side, more or less." Being cautious around Saoirse of Alster was, in fact, not such a bad idea - however, Ronan also doubted that she'd harm someone dear to her, or something close to him - but if Caelan ever found out, what would happen after that? He'd have to shut up as well, wouldn't he? "I guess being Allards son earned you some points, but ... lets leave that aside. Are you fine? My father is an asshole, I hope he didn't get under your skin."

"Oh, she does, I think. It's just ... don't get too confident now, we only know half of the truth about her and your father anyway", he answered. Saoirse wasn't a bad person, no, Ronan knew as much about his mother, but he also knew that if Caelan were to earn his mothers resentment as well, they would have to stop spending time with one another for once and for all, at least as long as his parents had a say in his life and the things he did. For now, however, it sufficed if he kept his eyes on the blonde and watched him eat his food, too, simply because Ronan had lost all and any appetite he had, once he had set sight upon his fathers ugly mug. "I'm absolutely certain that I don't want any of it, you can have as much as you want." Ronan wanted to assure Caelan that he was welcome to indulge in whatever he wanted, as much as he wanted, even if that meant he'd just get a few measly bites of meat from him - he didn't see what was wrong with sharing ones plate with a fellow noble to begin with, even if he'd already eaten off of it. In the end, they shared their spit either way and he had no opportunity to poison any of this, so why the hassle about manners?

"If you find out about something she might not want you to know about, for example", he mused, smiling at Caelan as his eyes laid on him. Ronan knew that, for a fact, his mother had already let people disappear who's opinions she had not agreed with and he knew, even better than that, that his beloved mother was nothing more than charlatan in disguise - if she wanted to. Maybe, she and Darragh were actually a match made in hell and he just didn't want to admit it. "As long as you drag me outside, whatever it is just outside of the mansion or all the way back to Fhaergus to throw me down a cliff, she'd probably be overjoyed - even if I break something on accident." A conclusion that somehow didn't feel satisfying, at least not as much as Ronan wanted it to, but for now, that wasn't something worth speculating about. "Spiting my father is always priceless." Wasn't it just like that? Whenever he looked him with scorn and embarrassment, mixed into something different, Ronan felt like he owned the world, despite knowing that he'd fall from grace sooner than expected. "Not letting him get under my skin is hard, but you and my mother did a pretty good job at tearing him down, I quite enjoyed that."

"And what am I going to do if she tells me that she and your father had an affair? What would that even mean for the two of us?", Ronan asked, sticking out his tongue at Caelan, now that they were alone and he could be as cocky as he wanted to be. Of course he knew that the two of them weren't related, nor would they ever be - but there probably wasn't much of a secret to be found out either way. Saoirse had slept with a wolf and had born a bastard child for him, which turned out to be him - and unless Allard, with his blonde hair and blue eyes, was a master of disguises, there was nothing else that connected him to Caelan. "Oh shut up! I'm eating properly, just in moderation. It's not my fault that Darraghs ugly visage robs me of any and all appetite!", he exclaimed, quite enraged at the assumption that he was as tiny as he was because of that - that wasn't even true! Though, neither Saoirse nor his actual father were petite, nor was Darragh in any way, shape or form as small as him and upon realization, Ronan hit his head against the table in front of him and remained where he was. Caelan was right, he was as scrawny as he was because he didn't fancy food, he never had and probably because he spent all of his time inside and now he was the one whining about being small and frail-looking. If anything, his wolf genes could have come through, but they didn't, just in his pitchblack hair.

"Not telling you", he babbled. If Caelan were to find out about that little secret, everything would be blown out of proportion. Would he even be able to shut his mouth about it, or look at him with the same eyes that he always did? Yikes, what a pain. "I can't promise that I won't slip on some well-covered ice, though. It's not like that's within my control." While that was true, he also had no reason to intentionally hurt himself, not right now at least and he knew as much. Though, if the thought arose, well, he'd have a problem and another one, named Caelan, who'd probably do wonders when it came to calming him down - that was if he hadn't lost his marbles by then. "He doesn't deserve kindness, that's the problem. And also, he will hurt me either way", he sighed, looking up from the table at the blonde who was finishing his meal. This was getting ardurous, simply because Caelan was, in fact, better at fighting his father than he himself was and it showed - but unfortunately, he was the one who had to deal with his old man on a daily basis. "And? Wouldn't you be scared if that as your father?" This all was hypothetical, but Ronan knew as much that he had to stay put and not let his feelings get to himself, even though they did, more often than he wanted them to. "Sure, we have to do something, don't we?", he asked and got up just like that, stretched himself and once that was done, waltzed to the door.

"And what if there actually is a secret? You can pry that out of my cold, dead hands, Caelan of Fhaergus", he snapped, knowing fully well that he himself had revealed something he shouldn't have. If one were to trust the superstitions about the wolves, about Vargland's inhabitants, Caelan would have put one and one together anyway and called him out on those stupendously sharp teeth he had, alongside the pitchblack hair and his shitty manners, if those were anything to go by to begin with. "Sure, and it's almost summer and there's still tidbits of snow outside in Alster - where there is snow and sun, there's ice", he sighed, but alas, Caelan knew his home better than him and Ronan was not planning to kill himself once he arrived in the neighbouring country. Factually, it was stupid to assume that neither of them had anything to do and even worse, it wasn't even worthwhile to consider killing himself, not now at least. "You know well enough that I can't keep you here forever and you can't force me to stay in Fhaergus forever - we need to come up with something better than that." What else was there for them to do anyway? Both of them had to rely on each other to not tell anyone anything, but truth be told, Ronan was at wits end. "If you start talking, you might as well tell me the whole thing", Ronan spoke through grit teeth.

Instead of insisting that he needed an answer, he let go of the topic and instead went to the doctor with Caelan - he wasn't sure if the man was overjoyed to see them both or rather appaled to have them come to his quarters, of all places, when he had insisted that the blonde stay in bed and not move more than necessary. "Hope is lost on both of you", the man sighed, before he got to take a look at the other nobles face, carefully feeling around the wound as to not agitate anything of it - but alas, it had healed well so far and therefore, there was no reason for this thing to stay bandaged, nor for it to still be sewn together. "I'm going to take the threads out, it might hurt a bit", he declared before getting to work - in the end, all that remained was a still healing wound that, despite looking quite gruesome days ago, had already taken a much different form - thankfully. "You're better off not touching the wound, otherwise you should be fine - however, do yourself a favor and don't dip your face into soapy water right now, yes?", the doc insisted before finally letting both of them off the hook and shooing them out of his quarters. "Now what? The letter?", Ronan asked - Caelans face looked ... well, not bad, but the wound itself was quite apparent.

"Who said it's bad?", Ronan threw back at his boyfriend. Maybe, just maybe, he had stared a bit too much at what he'd done to a once beautiful face and that meant, for one reason or the other, something about Caelans face was currently bothering him and he was sure that the only explanation was, among other things, the fact that this would become a scar, one way or the other and there was nothing he could do to prevent that, no matter how much he'd try. "I'm not laughing and I'm not looking mortified either, it's fine! Just ... weird? Like, you can see that this is going to leave a scar but it's not what I'm used to at all, you know?" In the end, this had been his very own fault and Ronan had, without a doubt, not only messed up but also done himself no good - frankly, he wasn't even sure if he'd ever be able to take another weapon into those hands of his and then, as instructed by his father, strike down his enemies just like that. Caelan was no enemy, nor were his fathers words absolute and therefore, this had been his own mistake. It had been a mistake to make the blonde worry about him, had been a mistake to have him take his self-inflicted injury into account and then, it had been a mistake to even consider partaking in the tournament, just because Alster was hosting it.

In the end, they found their way back to Caelans room and while Ronan would - usually - offer his help, he ushered the blonde towards the desk, shoved aside the remaining documents and offered him a feather, ink and paper, only for him to fall headfirst into Caelans bed. "Tell me when you're done", he grumbled, pulling the pillow over his head as he untied his hair. Ronan of Alster wasn't lazy, he just didn't feel like doing anything after that encounter with his father - and since he wasn't good for anything worthwhile, why not warm his lovers bed for him? That was something he had to be useful for, no? "Or do you need help?", was he sulking right now or just being an asshole? Well, whatever - it wasn't like Caelan was going to crawl into his bed, albeit ... he might as well, judging by the fact that he'd insisted Ronan come to bed earlier and to be honest, he wouldn't mind helping him out. Ronan was good with words, but the downside was that the blondes father would probably know who had written that letter, or that it couldn't have been his son asking for approval either way - so now what? "Does your father even care if you drag me along or not? Isn't that something he'd have to accept one way or the other?"