Suchergebnisse

Was it fine, though? Louis always swallowed things for others, absorbed the impact of an issue like it was nothing and afterward, he wouldn’t even accept the gratitude, as if it’d been a bouquet of flowers he was scarcely interested in. “I know, I know. But Lucy keeps tossing stuff at your head recently and I don’t think that’s okay.”, he informed Louis, as if he hadn’t taken note of the cold shoulder he was being given himself. Leila’s life was precious and yet, it had been lost, just like Blai…

On edge was putting it mildly, yet Josiah was surprised when Lucy showed up in here and told her version of the story, too. He sympathized and agreed with her, he still truly did, but it didn’t help that they were all adding oil to the fire. As the ball of yarn was thrown, Jo couldn’t object - it was harmless compared to what Blair and Roy had been doing and, for better or for worse, now that they’d calmed down something else seemed to he brewing. “Fuck, why’s this about that girl now? I couldn’…

Josiah felt no better than a dog tied to a lamp post about this, wanton barking for its owner that had long since left. Was he stupid enough to think that Louis would just magically appear in the way he liked him to be, deal with all problems in his wake and then leave again, just for them to rinse and repeat this trend? Jo could confidently say it was something like this that had him make that decision, not because he didn’t want to deal with it, but because he knew he’d just get in the way and…

Blair had claimed he could do this on his own, or rather replace Louis if he ever needed him to and while that was true to a certain extend, he'd never even believed what this man did in a night. He'd done preparations all day long for him and now, he was striding through the backside of the tent from one incapable, insufferable idiot to the next, helping them put on or fix their costume, or with the make-up they had smudged, caked on wrong or didn't even know how to wear in the first place and …

“No, the furthest I went out was to the fields I found you in and never beyond that. It's like ... they told me that straying too far could be dangerous and that I shouldn't just let anyone know where we live, that kind of thing? They let people stay with us from time to time, but they tossed them out the next day." Like they were keeping a secret in their midst that no one could know of, or that needed to be kept from the general public. Mikuni, or, well, Otoha fit that bill to a fault, like th…

Go where, exactly? Blair could leave this godforsaken circus if he really wanted to, he was sure of that - he wasn't physically tied to that place like Louis seemed to be, but wracking his brain over possibilities and hoping for the impossible wouldn't set them apart. Night would come and iron out the wrinkles and mistakes in their work and Blair would scrutinize his handicraft beneath the low lights that the audience saw them through, only to notice a single crooked stitch or a corner of the se…

“Just sometimes?”, Ronan teased Caelan in turn and while he did, he sounded exponentially more amused than he should be. Whenever he spent time with this guy, it was like someone had knocked the air out of his lungs and reminded him of just how mesmerizing Caelan of Fhaergus could be. A simple gaze was all it took. “Do you want to try a fist fight or something?”, he suggested, only for the kiss to shut him up. Perhaps the idea wasn’t stupid, but Ronan couldn’t see the execution working in his fa…

"If that's what you are saying, I have to be.", Ronan ambled, deciding that he had to believe at least a little of what Caelan was telling him, even if he never really wanted to. Why, though? He could simply pretend he had no idea how to handle himself, or his emotions and he figured that this man would, after all, come to his aid and turn his worries and woes into nothing but fine dust, sprinkled and gathered among the ashes of his older doubts. Being difficult seemed to be Ronans forte, as if …

Diesen Mann sein ein und alles, sein fehlendes Puzzlestück und seine missratene Hoffnung zu nennen wäre wohl eher etwas, das er sich erlauben konnte, lehnte er sich ein gutes Stück zu weit aus dem Fenster. Nicht, dass er das nicht wollte - er glaubte nicht, er könnte die innere Landschaft Caelans jemals zufriedenstellend auf Papier bringen, weder hier noch in Alster, nicht im letzten, nicht in diesem und auch nicht im nächsten Leben. Argwöhnisch war der Tumult im Inneren dieses Mannes der so oft…

Nicht einmal jetzt wollte er sich wirklich ausmalen, wieso Caelan so sehr an diesem verruchten Stolz hing, der ihn mit jedweder Missetat in seinem Leben verband. Rikiya konnte kaum glauben, dass er so über ihn urteilte und doch konnte er nicht behaupten, er war sonderlich von dieser Art von Verhalten angetan - nicht, weil er Caelan die Reue nicht erlaubte, die er an den Tag legte und auch nicht, weil er nicht glaubte, dass sie beide so nicht kompatibel wären. Es war idiotisch, wirklich, dass sie…

“Right, just be myself and try my best.” Don’t layer it on too thick, don’t be a smartass or an idiot and don’t try to appease the wrong kind of people. Ronan could, in theory, manage such things but in practice, he often struggled with even getting a word out, unlike his mother or Caelan. Those two seemed to live headstrong lives, with just the right amount of confidence and a dash of with on their side, for the most part. Him, on the other hand? There was nothing remarkable he could recall, it…

“Das würde ich nie, aber nicht nur, weil ich dich liebe.” Oder geliebt hatte. Rikiya wusste ganz genau, dass er nie jemandem zur Last fallen oder die Suppe versalzen wollte. Mehr als in einer scheinheiligen Welt zu leben wünschten sich die Meisten nicht und doch war ihm klar, dass er sich das nicht auch noch erlauben konnte. Sie verloren Kämpfe öfter, als dass sie sie je gewonnen hatten, dennoch fühlte er sich gerade so, als kämpfte er gegen einen einzigen Mann, der unbewaffnet und mit müden Aug…

Enough about him, hearing about Caelan was even better - his family was, after all, not something Ronan was familiar with and just hearing of them gave the impression they were much more jolly and tight-knit than his own ever could be. Not that he would ever blame anyone but good, old Darragh for that, that sorry excuse for a no good father. “That I do, thank you, dearest knight.”, he tried his hand at a joke of his own but maybe the general attitude he expressed - the stiffness of his face and …

“Wenn es zu viel wäre dann hätte ich dir das schon gesagt.”, erwiderte er Caelan. Ehrlich gesagt waren ihm solche Dinge nicht zu viel - er war kein Nesthäkchen mehr, um das man sich Tagein und Tagaus kümmern musste; er wusste, was er wollte, oder wie viel davon und er konnte eigentlich auch sagen, dass er nicht komplett verrückt war, nur weil er die Nähe zu Caelan suchte. “Du zierst dich so. Machst du dir wirklich noch immer Gedanken darüber ob du dir das alles erlauben kannst, ob dir das zusteh…

"That makes two." Two peas in a pod, two stupid mutts that shared a single leash and brain and two idiots that would do whatever they wanted, granted they found time for it. "I-I'm fine. You're right. I'm okay.", he tried to verbalize it out loud, like a mantra, like the beads on a rosary and their structure would allow him to get the restlessness out of his mind that persisted. He almost pulled away as Caelan treated him like that, embarrassing that awfully prideful side of his, as he watched o…

Wenn er daran zurückdachte, dann war er in gefühlt jeder Lebenslage neidisch auf diesen Mann gewesen. Das Lächeln, die Zuversicht, das Selbstvertrauen - er wollte sich in Caelan ertränken, als wäre das irgendwie möglich und er konnte nicht glauben, dass er nach so langer Zeit nicht mehr hörte, als sich selbst und sein Röcheln, als seine Lunge durch die kalte thrianische Luft rasselte wie das Spielzeug eines Kindes. Nie waren sie gleich gewesen, nicht weil sie es nicht sein wollten - sie waren sc…

"I don't think I'll ever drink my fill of you.", he confessed silently, sounding almost as if he wasn't so sure himself what he wanted or what he just spoke into existence. There was nothing to be gained from rushing headfirst into a world of hurt, but there was something to be had from having infinite patience and a goal in mind. Ronan could brave through winter just fine, right? The cold would seep into his bones like every year and he'd lament the inability of the human body to hibernate, but…

In ihn hineingefressen? Caelan traf den Nagel eigentlich auf den Kopf - wenn es etwas gab, worin Rikiya schon als Ronan nie gut gewesen war, dann wohl, mit harscheren Tönen umzugehen und nicht immer alles persönlich zu nehmen. Lieber ließ er es zu, selbst verletzt zu werden und den vermaledeiten Mund nicht einen Moment aufzureißen, als dass er irgendwo die Energie fand, sich zu wehren. Das passierte erst nach einer langen, einsamen Weile im weißen Nichts des thrianischen Winters und doch wollte …

"Das habe ich auch gar nicht als Kritik angesehen, ich bin nicht mehr so weinerlich und eingeschnappt wie damals. Ich glaube, wenn du mich damals irgendwie kritisiert hättest, dann hätte ich Rotz und Wasser geheult. Natürlich nicht vor dir, aber immerhin ... ich verstehe allerdings, wie du das meinst." Er spielte es wohl zu sehr herunter, zumindest für Caelans allgemeinen Geschmack. Rikiya konnte nicht behaupten, dass er ihm da nicht zumindest ein wenig zustimmen würde. Egal, er machte sich doch…

"We just spent a few weeks together, mind you.", he pointed out, sounding somewhat relieved that this seemed to be a new constant however. Ronan enjoyed Caelans presence, found it calming, like he offered some much needed candlelight in a dark corridor during a moonless night. Perhaps that was what kept them together, pot meet kettle. "Ack, fine, but just because it's you.", he relinquished himself to fate, as if Caelan wouldn't just try and do it regardless. Whenever he felt hopeless, he kind o…