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“I’d be too, if I was in your shoes.”, Blair mumbled apologetically - he already hated being like this, but to be like Louis was both blessing and curse at once, and that he was certainly sure of. “Do you want me to take a look? Stitches could be too tight, or you might need a cleaning.” An infection didn’t sound prosperous either, Blair could only hope it wasn’t that. But why would it be anyhow? They’d taken care of it, proper and good, as best as they could, which had to stand for something, b…

What a persistent issue that was, much like Roy. “Do you think it’s stress? Tension?”, Blair suggested in regards to the headache that, by now, should have subsided. Louis wasn’t granted a single day or respite, and whereas Blair extended his hand to offer him one, the inner workings of his mind were a mystery to him - they drowned his words out, or perhaps he still hadn’t made it clear enough that he was done and through with playing Roy’s to shoo around. “Not really, no. But it’s not like that…

Blair was but the shadow of a lesser man these days, his hulking frame ever frail, his head of blonde hair crowned by the sun that couldn’t ever breathe warmth and therefore life into the body he still found himself trapped within. He towered over them, took in sights reserved for few, with a pair of watchful eyes that were more than equipped to sniff out any sort of misconduct, and yet, or in spite of it, he’d trapped the shreds of a soul that was no longer his to harbor between his calcified r…

Why was Louis this worried for him? Josiah understood it the first time. Roy was an asshole, someone he shouldn’t trifle with or ever consider someone he was safe around. And yet, regardless of that fact, he’d no plans to rendezvous with a man like that from the start - the other side of the circus seemed even more distant now, not just a stone throw away, and Louis? He, too, was slipping from a grasp that Jo had never had on him in the first place. “You better.”, he demanded. “Is he now?” Who h…

Rain hatte nicht Unrecht - Nayantai klammerte sich an die Hoffnung, ihm etwas zurückzugeben, das Rain womöglich nicht wollte, und selbst wenn, dann hatte er eigentlich andere Prioritäten. Nicht einmal hatte er sich selbst für einen Quacksalber gehalten, für jemanden, der sich sein Leben schönredete und doch tat er es gerade - warf sich zusammen mit Rain in die Fänge eines Monsters, dem sie beide nicht gewachsen waren, weil er lieber wild um sich schlug und Wunden auftrennte, die nun einmal erst …

Konnte er das denn nicht? Nayantai wollte nicht mehr, als Rain wenigstens einen Teil seiner Heimat zurückzugeben, oder einen Ort, den er annähernd so nennen konnte. Zumindest hatte er sich so sehr darauf versteift, dass es für ihn noch das Richtige zu sein schien, auch, wenn er tief in seinem Inneren von sich aus sagen konnte, dass es das nicht war - bei weitem nichts. Faule Ausreden, um sein Gesicht zu wahren - das letzte bisschen menschlichen Verstand, bevor er sich in eine Schlucht warf, weil…

Aufhören? Er kannte doch nichts anderes! Jeden Moment, in welchem er sich nach Ruhe sehnte, verachtete er schlussendlich aufs Blut, weil er doch ohnehin wusste, dass er nie für die Ewigkeit bestimmt war - es war seinerseits alles andere, als dumm, an der einzigen, kraftzerrenden Konstante in seinem Leben festzuhalten. “Und was dann? Ich kann doch nicht aufhören so lange da draußen noch ein Krieg tobt! Wir haben doch schon so lange gerastet, die ganzen letzten Monate - ich brauche irgendetwas, an…

“I know, but I promise you’ll be fine. I can feel it.”, Mikuni spouted, so very uncharacteristically of him. Was change brewing in his mind? In his heart? Either one of these things ought to be true, maybe even both, or … what if Genji was just peeling him out of whatever cocoon he had been stuck in? Right, he knew he’d not take flight then, like a moth with wrinkled wings never would, even when it was preferable to an untimely death. After all, god only saved those that saved themselves for a r…

Nothing imporant? Mikuni wasn't someone to press the issue - he never did, actually, and in fact, why would he, ever? Many times over he'd learn to accept things as they were - not his to question, not his to ask about - and Mikuni wasn't going to fundamentally change who he was overnight because of that. Sure, there was something wrong with him, much like there were things wrong with Genji, and yet, they had each other to stick it out with. "Why? Are you afraid you'll hurt someone? It will be f…

Ging es überhaupt darum? Nayantai’s Kopf war ein brodelndes Wirrwarr aus Verständnis und Unverständnis für sein eigenes Verhalten - egal was er tat, es reichte einfach nicht. Wie oft hatte er in seinem Leben schon hören müssen, dass es in Ordnung war, und wie oft glaubte er wirklich daran? Sein Hals fühlte sich trocken an und kratzte, während er sich in Rains Augen und Worten verlor, die wie immer auf ihm lagen wie eine frische Schneedecke - weich, sanft und vertraut. Falten legten sich auf sein…

Long winding roads were common in the countryside, Mikuni could recall them for what they were, for what path they offered, but he couldn’t know what lay at the end of them, if it were the maw or belly of a beast, or if it was completely fine to ignore Genjis protests and just focus on what was important: Namely, doing right by other people. No one would applaud them, their deeds, or remember who they were - their names, faces and lives themselves condemned to the flow of time, making them but s…

Whatever inner turmoil the other man had to fight with, it missed him completely - if there was any to begin with, in general. Mikuni was never not a man of grace, of his word, of promises made, even by others, even against his will, but he could see when he was being somewhat unreasonable, right now for example, when he asked the impossible of someone who's existence was the same. Impossible. Why was he even thinking about that? He was sure Genji wasn't much happier about him making excuses to …

Accepting help and kindness was never the wrong choice, that much he had learned over the years, been taught by his father when he was a small child. Mikuni was soft and loving, always had been, never could not be - prospered like a dying bloom, frostbitten and overwatered, persisted against all odds at times, only to lay his fate within the hands of men and women alike that never saw past his one eye, that thought of him as a contianer for something that they revered, adored beyond believe. Gen…

Genji offering them any sort of help - while not unexpected - overjoyed Mikuni, who took the reins on pulling out the man, that became trapped underneath the very carriage he’d been guiding through the beaten path not too long ago, he could merely assume. How did such a thing even happen? There was no need to discuss it right about now, but he grew curious nonetheless as they freed the stranger and sat him up elsewhere, with Genji remaining by the horse and the carriage itself. “Thank you! Thank…

Genji raised valid points that Mikuni understood - however, he hardly raised them to a sane man, if he were, he’d have simply agreed and chosen the easier route; a way home, a way out, not one deeper in. Did it hurt to think that he’d not the smallest shred of expertise on his own blood, would it come down to it? Not a word slipped from his mouth, no, he was almost uncharacteristically silent for the rest of their long, endless walk, as he considered his options. To rest someplace he could call …

Mianti’s expression didn’t change; not when he his guard explained himself, not when he added some insight for his judgement and not when he received a smear of theoretical honey across his face to appease him. Lianyu was only doing what was asked of him, surely, but his emperor was not having fun with it, thought of it as a rather worrisome and annoying way to serenade the beast within, though, it worked just fine - while his mood hardly improved, it didn’t sour more than it had, either, which …

To absolutely no ones surprise, the Tiger enjoyed his alone time more than anything, and yet, every single day, servants came to disturb him from enjoying it. At times dealing with them was easy enough, barking an order usually sent them scuttling out the doors like the floor had been freshly polished, having no grip on the surface below as they struggled out, but other times, they all insisted he needed to be helped and that they were the right pick for such endeavors. Were they persistent enou…

Lianyu was a kind soul, a blade of grass made sharp by the trials and tribulations expected of a man of his standing, and Haohao was the one that watched him cut through it all. If it were up to him, perhaps he’d genuinely agree that his lover was well suited to a position he’d never asked for, that his friend was a man of few words at times, but his mind ever so colorful, like aurora on a dark expanse in a deep, endless winter night, but nobody asked for his opinion on the matter, not when he s…

Konnte er es denn nicht? Für Nayantai schien es glasklar, dass er die metaphorischen Wunden, an denen er noch immer leckte, weil sie sich nicht schlossen, nicht ansprechen wollte, sie in eine Schublade befördern wollte, so wie den Rest seiner Zeit an einem Ort, der sich nur noch durch feine Umrisse in seinem Hinterkopf in der Realität widerspiegeln konnte. “Und ob ich das kann. Aber darum geht es nun wirklich nicht.” Sollte er Rain die Karten, die er noch immer in seinen Ärmeln versteckte, endli…

Nayantai fühlte sich keineswegs besser, nur weil er glaubte, dass Rain ohnehin Verständnis für ihn aufbrachte - ganz im Gegenteil. Eigentlich fühlte er sich schlechter, wusste, dass er seinem Ehemann mit seiner Art nichts Gutes tat, dass er aus seiner eigenen Misere, die Grube, die er ausgehoben hatte, einfach keinen Ausweg mehr sah. Es war banal, zu glauben, dass ein jedes Fingerzucken, ein jedes Winseln und Murren seinerseits Anklang finden musste, und doch war er genau so abstrus, wenn es dar…