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Josiah treated him like a wild animal that needed taming and maybe he wasn't too far off, but he had his reasons not to get too close to him. He wasn't scared of Josiah, he was scared of himself, but there was no way he could tell him and even if he could, he'd not understand, Louis didn't even understand anything himself. "I'll eat it. Just leave it.", he told him to get rid of him. Telling him he wasn't hungry wouldn't fly. He just wanted him to go. "I know. You can't help me." That was a more…

Lucy liked their plan for the night and she'd not bring up Louis again. She spent the day with Conny and just before the show found some time to visit Mary, who gave her more of that ointment. She had a bit more time to visit Alice too. They drank some tea together in her trailer, which she never visited before and she was surprised to find that Alice was actually very nice once she let Lucy in a bit. She gave Lucy some different tea for Josiah, saying it would help him rest during the night and…

"Pretty much, yes.", Lucy agreed with a smile. It almost felt normal yes, but Leila was missing painfully and Conny too. "I'm looking forward to it. It probably was something fantastical, knowing you." Lucy giggled again. She enjoyed the time with Josiah, especially when they just forgot their worries for once. Today it wasn't all too cloudy either, they actually got to see some sun. Maybe it would all work out better soon enough. "Yeah okay. I'm sorry I brought it up.", That dampened the mood a…

"Don't worry about it, you missed nothing.", Lucy chuckled. Someone had to look after Conny soon and even though she didn't want to burden Josiah with it, maybe he enjoyed to have something to do. He felt useless, she knew, but there was really no reason. He could also tackle the kids if he preferred Lucy to head over to Conny. "Wanna tell me about your dream?", she asked with a smile. Josiah and good dreams? That was a step in the right direction, wasn't it? "Feeling better? So the ointment hel…

Yesterday didn't go perfect and not how Lucy envisioned it. Louis was a sore topic but also kind of everything that circled in Josiahs head, even now, when there were so many other things going wrong. She overdid it and said too much, instead of simply being supportive. She was somewhat angry that Josiah always defended Louis, even about Luke. He'd been there, he saw what he did and yet he excused it by saying 'he had his reasons', whatever that was supposed to mean. Not that she could convince …

"You shouldn't struggle so much... some people can't be saved. I think the Louis we knew died in that fire... I don't think he'd ever come back, no matter how hard we wish for it." Much like Leila wouldn't come back, but Lucy left it at that for now. Josiah was already in a foul mood and she didn't want to make it worse. "I'm all good Jo.", she instead smiled and crawled into bed, holding the blanket up so Josiah could join under it. Once he lay down Lucy put her arm around him and softly presse…

"I'm not expecting you to be. Being friends isn't about who's doing a better job, or repaying everything the other does for you. It's not a contract. I don't expect anything in return." Has Louis told Josiah he was a bad friend? Was that why he was so cought up on it? "Josiah, you do more than you give yourself credit for. You stayed with Conny for so long, because she is your friend and she needed you. You're not expecting her to pay you back and I likewise don't expect you to repay me for brin…

"Why would I think that? I really don't understand where you get that idea.", Lucy answered confused. Last time she spent the night felt good and Josiah listened while she cried and today was nice as well, with a warm dinner and a friendly face for once, a place where she didn't have to think about all the gloom and when the topic went there anyway, she knew she could talk openly to Josiah. Lucy tilted her head. "I feel like you're hiding your feelings from me already. I don't want to pressure y…

"You put yourself down too much.", Lucy retaliated, but left it there. Josiah always thought he wasn't good enough and Lucy didn't understand where that notion came from. It probably started with competing with Louis and then got worse when that guy didn't have any love left for Jo, for whatever reason. "As I said, it's just a funny fantasy. It won't happen, but that doesn't mean I can't think about how it would be." A little fantasy didn't hurt, much like thinking about how it would be to have …

"Like your act, huh? Hm..." Lucy wondered if anyone else took their profession into their personal life. Louis was certainly always acting and playing a role. James always was the strong one in body and made... and Roys tongue was as sharp as his knives. "You're too good Josiah.", Lucy sighed with a smile. She didn't want to bring up Louis, but he just showed why she just said that. He had no love for Josiah, quite the opposite and yet Jo still saw him as that young boy, as his best friend and e…

"Sometimes I forget how you always take everything to heart. It's not a bad thing, you know? You always want everyone to be happy and everyone to like you. Just know that that doesn't work out for every single person, hm? Sometimes you just have to be yourself. I like you how you are. You don't need to change, not for me and nor for anyone else." Especially not Louis who's affection Jo was always chasing, even more so since the accident, when Louis just stopped being his friend, all of theirs ac…

"I'm sorry, Jo, I'm just joking. You are perfect just the way you are.", Lucy smiled upon noticing that she maybe crossed a line just now. Josiah only ever saw his shortcomings and teases often stuck to him and he worried about what of it was true and if he needed to change something about himself to make others happy. "I mean you could ask him. I know you worry, all the time, but it could be really neat. We could try some things outside of the premise if you want? Even if it goes wrong, nobody …

"Is that truly the reason you didn't buy any before, or is it because you'd be scared o the consequences if it wasn't true?", Lucy asked chuckling. He took Josiah as a dreamy person, but also as someone who was incredibly self-conscious and scared of others judgement or not doing what he was asked to do, failing in essence even if what he brought was better than what he was tasked to bring. "It's probably also hard to make just a few, we don't have to buy as many.", she smiled and then listened …

"You seem like the kind of guy to uy magic beans, I'm surprised you always come back with everything we ask for.", Lucy smiled and she didn't mean it in a bad way. Josiah was just often idealistic and sweet and he wanted everyone to live a better life. If some magic beans could help, he'd probably buy them. "I don't think we stay long enough at one place to build something like that. We'd have to leave it behind... and we have the grills and stuff, they work well. Maybe it's somehow manageable, …

"I never said you're not allowed to carry anything, I just said I will carry things too.", Lucy explained with a giggle. Josiah was way too worried about her, actually about everyone, it wasn't just her, even though she kind of wished it to be. The people Josiah mentioned weren't her favorites sans James. "James is sweet, he just underestimates his strength all the time.", she chuckled and ignored the other examples, since she had nothing good to say about them. Roy was mean, always causing trou…

"Hmph, and let you carry all the stuff or what? No way!", Lucy refused. She was just as strong as the guys and Josiah was hurt and would be for days to come, so he wasn't the one who whould carry stuff around. "I won't get hurt, I'm carrying children around all day and help with the tent as well, it's not always you men doing everything, even though you'd like to think so. WIthout us you'd all be pretty lost.", she proclaimed. Sure, James strength was unrivaled but Josiah had weak little spaghet…

"What's that supposed to mean? I can pull my weight, I'm probably even stronger than you!", Lucy complained. There was really no need for Josiah to protect her, she worked just as much as the others here and even though she spent a lot of time with the kids, hosting them around wasn't easy either. Josiah would know himself anyway. "Hm, I think I want some macarons, I never had them but a lot of our customers talk about them. They are supposedly very good." And fancy, they never had something fan…

Ruth hammered home what Louis already knew and she presented it as if she had a solution. Instead he just wanted Louis to feel worse than he already did and he took it, not complaining, just listening, because he kind of deserved that. In the end Louis couldn't think of them as monsters that didn't deserve some dignity or empathy and he felt bad for what he did. It was only right if he was put down by them further, wasn't it? Yet Roy disagreed and challenged Ruth even. Was this some form of ploy…

Louis got the same answer twice, albeit differently told, which made him believe they told the truth. Then again both of them stuck together always, maybe it was another game. Either way, Louis chose to believe that they were all human once and then they stopped being themselves and became this, all by behest of the ringmaster for some reason. Still neither of them had a transformation taking this long it seemed. It's been years since the ringmaster showed his true face to Louis and still he was…

Louis sat there, a bowl of stew in his hands. He wasn't hungry, he rarely was, but now it was even worse. His hand shook a bit, mostly because the sight of Roys... corpse for a lack of a better word, was still present in his mind, very much so. Not only that, but also the fact that he was capable of doing something like that and even though he was curious about if it would even do anything, he shouldn't just take the chance, no matter who he was dealing with. He was scared of himself, scared of …