bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

"But it bothers you?", he asked for clarification. Perhaps it did. Maybe it shouldn't. Yujin couldn't speak for Richard and vice versa, he could only estimate what was on his mind, and he could only hope that that would eventually change, be it now or in the near future. Who was to say that nobody ever changed? To him, the world was stagnant and everything was the same - but Yujin knew that others weren't like that, and that Richard was far from that in the first place; he'd get better, he had to, and once that happened, perhaps he'd be the one to grow tired of a life that alway stayed the same, by a man that could never truly change. Was he scared of that? Even if, the fear that he felt was nothing short of idiotic for many reasons, be it that he wasn't taking himself seriously, or that every single movement in his body was but a reaction to things that he didn't expect them to be. "We can try something new as soon as you feel up for it, that way you slowly can come out of your shell ... sounds good?" Taking Richard out of the castle, well, that wouldn't work, but Yujin had his own set of ideas anyway and he'd make those work, he'd always done so. What would stop him? Some ice? Sure, as if. Not even Richard could if he truly put his mind toward something, and he knew that - at least Yujin hoped that he did.

"He'll answer your letter, and I'm sure he has his reasons for staying. Parents are weird sometimes, you know! Maybe he just thinks this for the best? But I'm not him, I can't say.", he tried to cheer Richard up. Why would Nayantai leave him, though? Yujin knew precious little about this man, a blur in the back of his head, a ghostly figure he'd never truly met - it was odd to make sense of, perhaps even weird to think about when he couldn't even recall this man name, but it was everything he had, for both himself and Richard. "I'm nice to everyone.", Yujin answered, smiling at Richard with an air of serenity around him; it was true. Yujin was like that one pup among all wolves that always needed to know everything, eternally curious and open for so many things, even if he shouldn't be, simply because he ought to be different than all the others, ready to get out of his shell if he needed to; not that he had one in the first place. He chuckled aloud. "We are whatever you want us to be, and if that means we're a couple, we're that. And if you just want me to be your friend, we're just that. Look, you're overthinking this. I'm not pressed to go back to how things were if you need time - we have a lot of that, we're pretty young, you know? And I don't remember much. Imagine how you'd feel if you had to explain our relationship to me every morning when I wake up next to you - it wouldn't be easy on you, but I think you'd do it, because you love me. I'm just doing the same. And if I'm that desperate to get intimate, I have two working hands.", he made sure that Richard understood, that he wouldn't be haunted by any grievances over this situation that had done so much to both of them. It was silly to be afraid, and yet ... what else was he to do? "Good idea." Yujin already sprawled himself out on the bed and left a spot for Richard. "I hope you dream something nice and maybe I'll ... actually, before we go to bed, I have a question. Do you even want me to remember who you were?"

"I don't want to be this weak.", Richard answered. He wanted to be normal, even if there wasn't much to go to here in Silesse. But he was scared of leaving this castle, he was even scared of walking the hallways alone. He knew most people didn't survive the climate here or at least lost the ability to fight, but those rats from Ollette found their ways, they might just pay someone who wasn't scared of Shuren. Richard clung to Yujin a bit more, as if that was enough to protect him here. Richard was scared, Ares was still alive and he didn't trust Lucien either, no matter that the helped saving them, it surely was only to further his own goals, probably to marry Dayan and get the whole kingdom. And then? What crazy plan would he come up with next? "Mhm..." Richard wanted to show Yujin his scars and the rest of his body, but he didn't want to promise something he might not want to do tomorrow, so he kept it for himself for now.

"He probably wants to stay with Dayan... and he probably thinks I hate him... and that being close to him might hurt me..." That was his own fault, he was the one that couldn't look at him. He was the one that freaked out. He hated himself for it. Yujin was nice to everyone and he'd take in every stray kitten no matter if it was mortified or feisty. Did he even like Richard, or did he just try to save everyone. "I don't know what we are... but I really wouldn't mind if you want to have some fun..." Yujin might have not wanted to hear it right now, but maybe if he was in the situation, he remembered Richards words. "I do...", he answered honestly even if it hurt Yujin. "You'd know who you fell in love with... and how I changed. I loved you so much, but I couldn't see it... love... no I don't know, everything feels different now." He wasn't ready to love anyone at this moment, he wanted to be close to Yujin, but he relied on him, that was different...

"You'll heal.", Yujin replied. Both of them would, from their own traumas, in their own ways, at their own pace, even if they currently buried their issues in the bowels of their own machinations, Yujin knew as well as Richard that every wound left a scar eventually and sometimes, those scars would even fade; if they didn't, that was another thing that Yujin couldn't influence, but by whatever was holy to Richard, he just wouldn't let him hang like that. He deserved more - he always did, and there was no reason to alienate him from any experience like that. Richard was brittle in his current state, much like a pair of broken bones, but honestly? Perhaps it was right like that. What if he needn't bee strong and didn't need anyone else? Yujin was happy to have him as is, to keep him comfortable and to wait for him to come to terms with whatever it was that needed it. Pain, though, was the last thing he wanted this guy to feel for a multitude of reasons, even if it had already happened and he couldn't change the past. "I can try slapping some salve on?", he jokingly suggested, but meant every word of it.

"We won't know until he tells us himself. Don't worry ... I don't think it's like that. Deep down he knows you don't hate him. Dads are like that, but they'd rather see themselves suffer than anyone else." Yujin didn't mean it in the grand scheme of things, but he couldn't remember a time where he wasn't watching Muhan take the fall for one of them; he'd always come up with something to get Shuren to be more lenient with the four of them, be it because they'd coated the entire kitchen in flour, or because they'd simply lost any kind of button from their clothing among some of the cupboards they had been playing between. "That sounds like you want me to go outside and have fun just so you have some time for yourself.", he teased. "You can say it if you want to be alone for a bit, but I won't go and fuck some other person just because you think I need it. I'm fine, I promise.", he assured Richard once more and then, he was lost in thought yet again. What would it bring if not destruction? It was awful in its own way, it always would be. "I'll try, then. Whoever you were, I want to remember, and whoever I was, I want to know, too. I'm just fearful we both won't like who I used to be.", he sighed, but what did it matter? Perhaps, just maybe, he was still a joy to be around regardless and Yujin was afraid for nothing. Against all odds, he put his arm around Richard and pulled him close. "It'll get better, and I'll make sure you'll feel like that again. And I'll hold you accountable this time ... but for now, I think we both should sleep. Sound good?" Yujin closed his eyes and smiled, he ruffled through Richards hair. "And until we have it figured out, I'll protect you. I promise."