all the highs and none the lows. (Earinor & Akira)

Kosuke was a worrywart and Gin had noticed that a while ago, but he did fine, otherwise he would have had to put his hands on himself and figure half of this out on his own, even though he lacked expertise, it was, well, fine. Nothing to write home about, but that would be ridiculous anyway. While his heart still beat in his chest a bit, he put his lower arm over his eyes and leaned back, taking a sweet, sweet moment to gather his disordered thoughts that flourished in all kinds of directions - when was the last time someone had pleased him? That had to have been a while, and to kick after that amount of effort like an empty can in the curb of the road wouldn't feel right. At long last, Kosuke came back, his absence lasting both a second and an eternity likewise, causing Gin to wonder if he had been sitting on this mattress for five hours or just a few moments. Right. There was something he wanted to do, but what? With the mattress shifting below him, he finally took his arm off of his eyes and looked over at Kosuke, who seemed to have gotten rid of it all.

"Too far? No, that was just fine.", Gin replied, amused at the sudden apology. What for? There really was no need to be so shy, not when this man was ... well, Kosuke surely had beat up a lot of people in his lifetime and now he felt as if this was too far? What a dork this guy was. "I liked it.", he snickered, opening his heart much more to the situation that had just transpired - it was odd to not give Kosuke literal lipservice and besides, receiving like that just wasn't something Gin was necessarily used to, which ought to be something weird, but most of his customers didn't give much of a damn either way. What now, then? They still had a bit of time, didn't they? Losing track of it all wasn't good, though, Gin did pride himself in knowing things and his punctuality, if nothing else aside form his looks, which would fade eventually, as he had been told. Almost fearful and spooked by his own thoughts, he grabbed Kosukes face and plastered a kiss onto his lips. "Cat got your tongue? What's on your mind, big guy?", Gin immediately teased him.

He liked it? That was good and also a bit surprising, but even if he didn't like it he'd probably be polite. "I am glad.", he answered with a soft smile. "If you want to wash up I can show you to the Bathhouse nearby.", he offered, but Gin seemed fine and he also didn't hurry getting dressed again. That was fine too, Kosuke wasn't in a hurry either. Not yet anyway and their time together was limited either way. He wanted to make the most of it as long as he could. Gin suddenly leaned over, pressing a kiss on Kosukes lips. He looked at him somewhat surprised then slowly shook his head. "Uh nothing, I'm just not the talkative kind I suppose. Sorry.", he replied. Was there something on his mind? Something worth mentioning? Not really. He told Gin that he was serious about this and he didn't need to tell Gin about the world they both lived in. Even if Gin wasn't part of any criminal group directly, his boss was and thus he knew enough of it all.

"Do you want to watch something still?", he wondered, or they just kept the music running? He wondered if this all shouldn't feel more natural, but maybe it was just the fact that he was rusty when it came to dating or even just sex, otherwise he probably wouldn't even have met Gin in the first place. "Sorry it's been a while since I've been dating, I don't really know what to say. The last time I properly saw someone was... Well never really, but the closest to it still dates some years back." Now he sounded old and pretty lame. He wasn't the kind of person to try and make Gin forget his silliness with a kiss or a touch either. Was this always this hard?

Gin couldn’t say he hated it - Kosuke was like a piece that was trying to insert itself into an unfinished puzzle, despite not fitting at all, but who was he to stop him? Too sweet for his own good, too lovey-dovey and gentle for a criminal and much too soft to the common whore he should see as nothing more than dirt at his heel, Gin felt sorry for him. How long until this world, the one that had swallowed both of them whole, would regurgitate what was left of Kosuke? Even just thinking about it sent a shiver down his spine and he shook his head, tried to psyche himself and see the good things in the mundanity of their oddly frequent encounters, or even his own silliness that functioned like a coping mechanism. “I wouldn’t mind that.”, he pointed out - he could shower at work, but he’d much rather spend another tender moment with Kosuke than in the place where love meant just about nothing and only held transactional value. “You’re fine.” Gin found it cute, the nervousness, the light stammering, the uncertainty. All of it was so unlike any of the people he had to love for hours at a time and none of this felt overly forced, much to his enjoyment.

“Mhm, whatever you want? Unless you want to watch something really boring or childish.” Was he the more interesting guy out of the two of them? Gin doubted it, yet, Kosuke seemed so non-combative - the fact they even fit together like that was odd in his mind. Whether this would work out or not seemed to be written in the stars even now, Gin wanted to give them a fair chance and if it didn’t, then he could at least claim he’d tried his best. Easy as pie. “Now, now. It’s fine, you’re plenty cute so you make up for it.” A black labrador, ever so slightly oversized and too big to fit in his lap but big and intimidating enough at first glance, that fit Kosuke perfectly. What a cute image that was … Even now he reached out, sought out Kosukes proximity and put his hand on the other mans thigh, then let his fingers dance to find a hand to hold. “Good thing I’m pretty tame.” Some sort of housebroken, yet still convinced that there was freedom to be found in his self-imposed cage. “Kinda hard dating anyone with your schedule, I take it?”

Kosuke was maybe too silent for his own good and kept people fill in the blanks when he didn't have much to say in the first place. His bosses liked that about him, others not necessarily. Sometimes he was called arrogant when he didn't believe he was. "Okay, I'll show you there. Uhm... Not too much touching there though, yeah?" He knew the people around here and they talked. In the end he couldn't just announce a relationship like that and even if Gin was a woman, he probably would keep things ubder wrap. To protect his partner more than himself, he had a dangerous job and he didn't want to drag anybody into it. Additionally now though, he definitely couldn't be too suspicious. "Mh, yeah? I feel like I leave you hanging sometimes, for you to guess what's going on in my head, but, well, not that much going on to tell the truth." Even though now he was still kind of nervous over their encounters, mostly because his stomach wouldn't stop fluttering and also because he didn't quite know how to behave in a situation and relationship like this.

"We get towels there. I'll pay." It was nothing fancy, just a small place where he washed up every day after his sports routine and afterwards soaked in the hot water for about 30 minutes. It wasn't fancy or big, but he wouldn't be able to afford something like that anyway." Cute? You keep saying that but you're the only one.", he chuckled and smiled. He was told he had a pretty face and he was trained, but that was about the extent of it. "You are.", he laughed, tame that was. Kosuke looked at Gin who suddenly didn't seem like he wanted to go anywhere. He took Gins hand in his own as requested by a simple gesture. "My line of work as well. I don't want to lie about it and... Well it's dangerous. I've seen families caught in the crossfire, I'm glad I moved far away from mine. But you know the kindnof people I work for and with."

Gin liked them with their heads in the clouds, with all the silver coin in the world that they spent on seeing him toil about on the tips of their tongue, swallowed over the most earnest of mistakes, never to be retrieved. The rich were like dragons, he’d thought even as a kid; hoarding their wealth and wearing their hearts anywhere but their sleeves, where the ordinary man was forced to put his. Kosuke was one of them, those ordinary men, as was he. Neither of them had found a path, a branch of the walk of life, out of the thick forest that they seemed to toil away within, whereas their family, friends and peers, but also some of those younger than them, had already found their path. “How much is not much?”, he teased with a shy smile. Perhaps being afloat in the current of a tumultuous sea of life wasn’t so bad when one had a companion to share this lonely eternity with. An added bonus was his inherent cuteness and, worse yet, the fact Gin had a hard time staying away from him, not pummeling Kosuke any chance he got. What a ravenhaired menace his companion was, without doing anything no less!

“You don’t need to be all formal. I know we’re both busy, it’s alright. Really.”, he assured him, with a smile on his lips and the eagerness of a starving anthill when Kosuke mentioned the bath. Public or not, he’d want a wash one way or the other, sooner rather than latter. Gin couldn’t even argue. “I’ll pay next time.” That way they’d be even and it’d stay fair too, besides, they could pass up on the quarreling from the get go. All in all it seemed like a solid decision. Sweet or not, Gin felt like a leech on Kosukes back, one he hadn’t noticed as such yet - he wanted nothing more than to appease him, stay in his good graces but a real relationship was bound to feel awkward for its own reasons, given what seemed to be inexperience from both of them. Charming someone was easy, but actually pleasing them longterm? That was a tough nut to crack. “Oh, so you agree?”, Gin chuckled, sounding wildly amused by Kosuke’s willingness to just accept things at face value. “As long as you take good care of yourself and keep yourself as safe as can be, it’ll be fine. There’s no use in me getting upset or getting all teary-eyed, it’s just like that. Hah … so, still up for a bath?”

"I need to keep up appearances.", Kosuke answered. Even out here, or especially maybe. He was polite and nice to people, helped the elderly, not only the couple that rented this place to him and he tried to stay out of people's ways, but especially when it came to the bathhouse, he couldn't exactly hide his job from anyone with the tattoo on his back. He could drive a bit towards the city center and go where his peers went, but he didn't. Mostly he simply tried to not disturb anyone or came back later if he wasn't alone. It was a small place anyway. Now with Gin though he had two roles to play. Was this getting too difficult? In the end, even if someone had their suspicions around these parts, they'd surely keep quiet out of fear anyway, but for him not wanting to lie to people, he did so an awful lot. How did he get himself in these situations?

"I guess I talk more through texts , huh?" Though even then Gin did most of the talking, which was impressive considering he couldn't talk about his clients but despite spending his whole day with them was able to talk about other things a whole lot. Maybe he needed that distraction." You don't need to." And yet Gin was always a bit upset if Kosuke paid for everything, but now that he had that money from his boss, he wanted to get rid of it anyway. "Is there a possibility to disagree?", he asked, then got up and pulled Gin to his feet as well. For a moment he had forgotten his injury, but he just grit his teeth and ignored the sudden pain. "I meant it could be dangerous for you. I don't get into trouble usually though and I am in nobodies way." Neither clan really, he was just guarding doors of a club. Kosuke went to the door and got into his shoes. He stayed in his sweat pants for today, but he also didn't have much else than his training suits and his work clothes." Do you need any fresh clothes? I'll borrow you something." Fresh underwear maybe, the other things definitely weren't Gins style.

"I almost forgot about that. Sorry, you're just too cute.", Gin complained, obviously trying to make more of a jest out of a rather serious issue - serious if it went unchecked, that was. For all intents and purposes, Kosuke was like a hare moonlighting as a bunny: Cute until he showed his true face and even then, he didn't find him much less appealing, perhaps a bit scary, though, he had hardly seen what that man he was currently getting into too deep of a relationship with would be capable of, once the time came. Would it, ever? Frankly, he hoped that, even if less than pleasant things happened between them, they'd at least see one another not as lesser than themselves. That was if that ever happened in the first place. "I wonder just how far we'd have to go for no one to even have the faintest bit of an idea who either of us are." For him that was rather easy - change up his mannerisms, dye his hair black or a dark brown and cut it neatly, or at least a little shorter and stop being that all-over over just about anyone he could charm for a favor or three. For Kosuke that seemed harder, at least if anyone were to see beneath his clothes.

"That you do.", he agreed, giving Kosuke a content smile. What a sweetheart, a charmer in his own right - a lover, even. Being with this man was nothing short of a realized fever dream, one he would've wished to be stuck within forever. Nothing else. Or, perhaps ... What a foolish thought that was. "I know I don't but it's no hassle. It's some towels." Not something that would force open a gigantic hole in his finances and indebt him for another ten years - by then, Gin was sure, his pretty looks would slowly start to fade all around and he'd never make ends meet anyhow. The future, albeit looming over his head, seemed ever so uncertain and scary. If he didn't change anything his fears would stay as they were, too - he'd be able to tell himself "I told you so" years down the line, but Kosuke? He, too, already was a change in Gins life of othering sameness that never felt as if it had any merit. "No.", he chuckled. "Maybe I'll think about it.", was his final offer. Still, lighting their ill-gotten gains on fire and waiting for the flame to fester, to destroy and burn through it all was the least of his worries. Gin's face grew slightly worried as Kosuke pulled him along like that, prying eyes trying to find any sort of pained expression, or a glint of it, in the older mans face, which seemed so void of emotion once they were willed away by its owner. "I know my way around, too, you know - I'm no greenhorn, and while we are hardly the same, you worry your pretty little head too much. It'll be fine." That much he was sure of. As long as he zipped his lips there was nothing to worry about, even now that he looked at Kosuke, who got dressed all the same - Gin followed suit. "Underwear? I mean, do you even have anything that's not part of a suit or pajamas? I'm not trying to be mean." That much was obvious.

"Hm. Says the one with all the cute keychains and plushies.", he replied a bit more combative this time but all in good faith. "I'd argue people have no idea who I am, they just know what I am. As for you, you stick out, but not too much. The people here are all just normal folk, no debts, no gambling, not our turf. I'm sure they don't know you." Or was this a mean thing to say? It was simply that the people here wouldn't go near the club or Gins workplace and they either overlooked Kosuke because of fear or because he was overall friendly to the people around here. Surely they talked, but only behind his back and that was fine with him. His presence alone meant nothing, he was just a lowly grunt, no one to target specifically or someone to fear. Of course they couldn't know that, but he was simply too young to be important as well.

"You make me nervous in person.", he admitted with a smile snd admitted his lack of words. It was easier when he had the time to think of a response. "I'm still older and besides, you want to save up on money and get out of here, right?" That was easier for Gin than for Kosuke and he didn't delude himself into believing he'd ever leave this life behind. Which qlso meant that whatever they had now wouldn't last, but that was fine. He'd enjoy it for as long as he could. He smiled again, arguing with Gin was impossible, he knew it, well then he was cute apparently. Then he nodded. "I know, I'm just trying to be honest." Gin knew what he got himself into and Kosuke didn't need to remind him of it every week. He chuckled and opened his underwear drawer. "I have underwear fitting both and anything else. I assume you'll put your pants back on after. I'd offer you a full change of clothes as well, but I doubt it would fit, nor do I think you want to wear any of it."

“And you’re going to get even more where those came from.”, Gin threatened with a playful laugh. If it were up to him, he and Kosuke would be carrying matching merch around, despite each others field of work hardly being the ideal environment for plushies to thrive. Still, despite his age he didn’t see any shame in it - it was a hobby, a more or less expensive one, but one that he enjoyed and a shortterm goal he could reward himself with after a particularly shitty week. “Seems like the ideal place to be if you want to settle down and start a family.” A thing either of them could hardly think of in the first place. Peace and tranquil was something they had to fight tooth and nail for to have for short spurts of time, not something that was readily handed to them without question. “I’m glad nobody knows me, truth be told. But I meant more like, how far we’d have to go for none of your coworkers or mine, or someone related that knows of either of our mugs to spot us, you know? What if we went to an amusement park or some beach and then caught red handed? That’d be bad.” Truly, there was nothing good about that predicament.

As it stood, Gin trusted Kosuke and wanted none of that trust misplaced. Safety and the feeling of it was important, something Kosuke could offer him with as simple a gesture as a hug but it seemed as if he, the taller, older protector, was intimidated by him, smaller, younger and more vulnerable one. “Me? That’s like if a housecat intimidated a tiger. Am I too handsy?”, Gin merely joked, putting two fingers under Kosukes chin as he awarded him with a wry smile, pulling his hand away shortly thereafter. “Even if you are, I’d feel bad. You have to take care of your elders, no? And about that … you aren’t wrong, but some money here and there won’t kill the budget.” The moment he’d have repaid his debt, he wanted to run far, far away from this place, see what the world had to offer, where he’d be more welcome than here, or something of the sort. One issue that remained, the sight for sore eyes that Kosuke was, was bringing him along. However would Gin manage to cut loose a yakuza? Another debt? A favor? Whatever it was, it wouldn’t be easy for sure. “And honest you are, but you have to live a little. Seeing the bleakness of life and accepting it for what it is is fine, but that doesn’t mean you can’t spruce it up a little.” In theory that was. In practice? Downright impossible and borderline akin to self harm, surely. “Well, that much is true.” Gin wasted no time grabbing some fresh underwear, yanking it out from Kosukes drawer and grinning at him. “About the clothes, no clue. Show me? I’m nosy.”

"Don't you want to keep them for yourself?", he asked with a smile. He had one plushie now and he was required to send frequent updates of its well being. "Hm I don't know of it's not too close to all the ruckus." Didn't want anyone's child or adolescent wandering in. It happened, Kosuke wasn't from here but he saw young people wandering past the club, whispering about getting in. He shooed them away if they lingered around too and he himself wandered into the wrong crowd as well and now he was here. Was that so bad? He made good money he could send to his family after all. "We've been to the festival without trouble. Personally I don't mind staying inside either, but I know my place isn't very... Presentable." At least he cleaned up, but it was still small and had no air conditioning. In winter it was cold and he rarely used the small movable heater. It wouldn't be a problem for a while, but still.

" No! Just... I don't know. It's hard to tell how to properly behave. As I said, I never really dated and I don't want to be rude or something like that." He didn't know how to behave either and whenever he tried to be polite, Gin insisted he could pay himself. Truth be told though, Gin was handsy. He was probably used to it. "That makes me sound older than I am.", he responded. It wasn't like he was as old as the old couple downstairs. "I'm fine with my life, but I can't expect others to be. I think I rather didn't date at all than disappoint anyone during the first date." Kosuke got out of his shoes again to step over to his closet, opening it up. He owned three track suits, some basic T shirts and two suits as well as some white shirts. That was all. Gin called his clothing boring before. Most of what he did was work anyway.

"I can't possibly keep all of them, besides, I don't think you make a bad plushie parent, you know.", Gin complimented Kosuke, earnestly this time. The two of them could be like cat and mouse if they adhered to the societal roles that they existed within but it seemed almost as if neither of them had any sort of desire to harm the other whatsoever. Nothing was gained from endless squabble anyhow and better, they seemed much too docile, as if one were a cat licking a mouse and the other the mouse, cuddling up to its natural predator. "Hm, maybe a few streets down or in the next neighborhood over, then?" That much was his suggestion, as if he was genuinely proposing moving in with Kosuke and staying here in the first place. Bad idea. No matter how they'd think about it, the past would at least come to haunt one of them if they didn't physically separate themselves from it. That much should have been obvious a long time ago. "I'm not criticizing your living arrangement, I was fantasizing about something that's never going to happen.", he excused, shaking his head. "If anything it's rather cozy. I wouldn't want that to change." Wasn't it a nice place for a moment of respite as well? Nothing to lose ones head over.

"Kosuke, calm down. I'm just teasing you.", Gin fessed up with a smile, bigger than the last. Had he intimidated him after all? "I don't think you can be rude and a bit of awkwardness is normal - I've dealt with plenty people that don't just come by to have fun and fool around but also the ones that can't find their own special someone." All of them were nervous, more than they should be for something as silly as sex, but most of them were easy enough to calm down. Others, though, found out the hard way that even someone like Gin could bite and that not everything needed to be accomplished by a certain age, or through a lost bet. "That was the intention.", he snickered with glee. "I like teasing you." Not a rare occurrence in his ever-occupied mind but a privilege that the one gifted with it had to suffer through for ages, at least until Gin deemed the teasing to have been more than enough at that point. Wasn't that just a little fucked up, too? "I'm not disappointed at all, if that's what you're getting at. Actually it's the opposite. This is quite fun." Gin looked at Kosukes clothes, mulled over the pitiful selection and then wondered if he'd ever take him thrifting just to find more over what he could call his own - but Kosuke, too, seemed to have his own sense of style. Gin couldn't blame him, not at all. "Can I borrow that?", he asked, pointing at one of Kosukes t-shirts and giving him a smile. Good idea - that way he at least knew Kosukes relative size.

"I'm not sure about that, I'm seldomly home you know.", he answered with a smile. As far as he knew Gin spent more time at home. Kosuke worked and trained and spent time with his colleagues, going out to drink or strolling around. He was always the silent type, even more so now that he hung on his phone more to text Gin, but it was still part of routine to join in and he couldn't tell them no every time. "If you want to raise children, you better move some neighborhoods over.", he smiled. Not that it helped if someone searched for new recruits. Kosuke looked around his room. "Cozy? I guess so. But you have your own bathroom and kitchen, don't you? That must be way better." Gin likely tried to be nice, his standards were much higher than Kosukes, even if he lived a better life for a while. Now he thought it was a waste of money and he rather helped his family and sent his siblings to university if he could. They shouldn't end up like him.

Gin apologized with a big grin and Kosuke knew he was just fooling around but it was still hard to know how to react. "I guess I'm one of those people." Which wasn't a good feeling,especially now that Gin took away his free time to indulge a loser like him. If he wasn't one they would have never met in the first place. "Hm, either way, it's rude to disagree with an elder so I will pay." Did turning it around work? Probably not with Gin. Kosuke smiled a bit. "Well, I have to say our work paths crossing turned out kind of complicated." Even though he made an impression on Gins boss, a good one as it seemed, but that didn't get him anywhere anyway and he couldn't just leave his family, nor was working for the guy that owned Gin a good idea. He looked at Gin briefly sifting through his clothes and picking something. Kosuke nodded. "Sure, take it." He had enough of these shirts, his suits he had to rotate, it was a hassle if they got really dirty, but it happened and he couldn't even borrow one of his white shirts,he didn't have enough.

"You could bring him places, or would that earn you the ire of your coworkers?" It clearly wasn't manly, but who knew about Kosukes personal circumstances? Even someone like a yakuza had a daughter at times, or a son, too, and Gin figured they brought rather weird things to work from time to time, be it a keepsake or something like a Hello Kitty keychain that their daughter insisted would bring good luck and fortune to whatever field of work their father would engage. Yet, Kosuke had neither wife nor child and no convenient reason to excuse or lie about things such as these. Why would he? Gin just thought it funny. "Eh, I don't know. I don't think I'm the type for kids, I'm an only child and all - besides, I worry too much. I wouldn't want my life for them." Hypothetical as it may be, he'd heard plenty of stories from his coworkers and how they much preferred not having to deal with a little goblin of their own, lest they feared that someone like Rokuro would get funny ideas to accelerate the way they paid back their debt. For that, he, too, could not blame any of them. "True, but this way you get out and hear all the neighborhood gossip if there's someone in the baths at the same time, no? The kitchen part is annoying, I'll give it that." But such was life in a deadend place like this, as if it were the last station the train came to for the night.

He stuck his tongue out, once more aimed at Kosuke and his self-depreciating prattling. What had gotten into him. "No, you're too pretty and much too kind for that. I'm talking about the sort hardly anyone wants to look at. Your issue is too much work to find a proper date, but that's not something you can just change out of nowhere." Which all culminated in the same reason anyhow: Work. Gin wasn't much different - he, too, wasn't dating anyone, or wouldn't have been, were it not for the likes of Kosuke having the balls to ask him out. "Pah, you got me there.", he admitted defeat, for once and for now anyway. Capable as always, Gin found his own cards used against him, his arguments crumbling the moment he made them - this, too, was a part of this life that he loved to live, but not the one he lived to loathe. Fun was found anywhere, like a fountain of truth, as long as he gazed deep enough between the cracks in the fabric of reality, he was sure to find glimpses of his desires. "Mhm. I wish at least one of us had a more normal life." That way they wouldn't clash like that, or would need to fear something like not being able to see one another anymore - hardships would persist regardless, but to a lesser extent. "Thank you, old man.", he cheekily replied in a sing song voice as he grabbed the shirt and underwear, got dressed and then was right back at Kosukes side. "I've got everything."