"It seems to be a sore topic for you, or am I wrong?", he wondered aloud. Maybe it was and Gin was just acting like an idiot because he figured he did something wrong, something that he should have never attempted in the first place. Either he was on the wrong track and just made a clown of himself by being caring in front of a fullblown yakuza, or - something that seemed much more likely - he was just trying a bit too hard to actually impress. Could he fault Kosuke for wanting him to dial his selflessness down? Absolutely not. "So, they hand you the short end of the stick and despite grabbing more and more of it, you just decide you don't need it? I think you're a bit odd, if I'm honest, but then again, I know nothing about your codex, or even your customs. Maybe you're supposed to be an enigma.", the redhead chuckled as his shoulders relaxed and he leaned back for a bit. Gin put the book aside and smiled rather firmly, yawned and rubbed his temples - what would he give to drown in a bathtub full of red wine? His life, possibly, but that wasn't something that was appropriate to sputter about, ever. Definitely not now, however. "An option is always good - I'm no different. But I don't have that option just yet.", he clarified. Wasn't this just mistifying? "Nobody wants that, I'm sure. Then again, it might have been the better option, in a way, but ... lets not consider that."
Often enough, he had to chastise himself and those endless thoughts he found himself spewing. Whatever the case, he figured, he'd never find out about anything he truly cared about if he drowned in his own debt, his own feelings and most importantly, his own misery. Gin had to be done and over with it, smile and be peppy about it, but afterward, he was almost free to be whoever he declared he wanted to be. "Is it? We'll duke this out, I swear." Short mumblings like these, especially paired with some sort of infighting - did they really need that? No. "No need to apologize. I'm still not sure if I want to go back, though. Maybe ... I'll figure it out, be by my lonesome, you know? They'll be disappointed once they find out I didn't finish university and wasted their tuition money, even if I don't come clean entirely. It's not that important, trust me." Gin shook his head, even though he knew that he was lying, at least in a way. The approval of his family was important to him, always had been and always would be, but by now, not only was he kicking it with his own two feet, he was banishing himself to a realm of never-ending turmoil, chaos and hurt. Would he be able to get out of something like that? Well, he doubted it. "You'll catch up to me in no time, trust me.", he confessed with a wink and got up, with a smile on his lips. Yes, to him, of all people - and yet, he grabbed Kosukes hand as he led himself to the door and fought himself back into his own shoes. "I'll just text you then, or give you a quick call? Or do you want to agree on something now?"
Often enough, he had to chastise himself and those endless thoughts he found himself spewing. Whatever the case, he figured, he'd never find out about anything he truly cared about if he drowned in his own debt, his own feelings and most importantly, his own misery. Gin had to be done and over with it, smile and be peppy about it, but afterward, he was almost free to be whoever he declared he wanted to be. "Is it? We'll duke this out, I swear." Short mumblings like these, especially paired with some sort of infighting - did they really need that? No. "No need to apologize. I'm still not sure if I want to go back, though. Maybe ... I'll figure it out, be by my lonesome, you know? They'll be disappointed once they find out I didn't finish university and wasted their tuition money, even if I don't come clean entirely. It's not that important, trust me." Gin shook his head, even though he knew that he was lying, at least in a way. The approval of his family was important to him, always had been and always would be, but by now, not only was he kicking it with his own two feet, he was banishing himself to a realm of never-ending turmoil, chaos and hurt. Would he be able to get out of something like that? Well, he doubted it. "You'll catch up to me in no time, trust me.", he confessed with a wink and got up, with a smile on his lips. Yes, to him, of all people - and yet, he grabbed Kosukes hand as he led himself to the door and fought himself back into his own shoes. "I'll just text you then, or give you a quick call? Or do you want to agree on something now?"
Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.