hellbound. (earinor & akira)

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    • Dayan had it all, he had had it all, but no longer. All of this had turned into a shitshow that wasn’t funny in the slightest and if he was frank, no amount of nice words, lovely conversations and well-meant offerings were going to fix that. There were holes in his body, as there were holes in his heart and while the physical wounds would eventually heal up, the psychological ones needed time - time Dayan couldn’t give them and time he never had to begin with. Was there even a need to find someone to fix all of this for him, to hire a group of bounty hunters just to get somewhere, all because he couldn’t leave the castle after this? Whatever the case, he was to be king of a country that - not so long ago - was busy murdering his own people, busy tearing their lives apart and giving them hell for simply existing. What was it with those stupid arguments between them anyway? Monsters weren’t born, they were made and the fact that all of Adrestia had claimed the people of Thria to be nothing but that was absurd, by a long shot. “It’s alright, I don’t blame you.” The only person he could, effectively, blame was himself and it never would or could be anyone else. In the end, what did it matter? Dayan was old enough to realize that time waited for nobody, not even for a king.

      His coronation was supposed to be a joyous moment, something that barely anyone would criticize and yet, Dayan shared the same sentiment as those who didn’t want him on their throne: He didn’t belong there. What were those words worth? Surely not a whole lot, he knew that, but frankly, he didn’t need to think too much about any of that, he loathed all those thoughts that swamped his head and the stinging pain in his side didn’t make it better - it was dull, but if this went on, he’d have to stand up. “So”, the prince started, opening his eyes and glancing at the redhead. “You’re telling me, pretty much half of Adrestia is invited to my coronation, as long as they have a name and a title?” This sounded ridiculous and it, very much, would be one mess of a day. Or was it more than that? Weren’t coronations unnecessarily long? “And to erase all doubt from their mind, to make them agree that I’m supposed to be king, I have to talk to them.” The rooms would be stuffy, the atmosphere mixed and gloomy at best and he’d sweat buckets because of how nervous and anxious he was. Fuck, this wasn’t going to go anywhere - and what on earth had happened to him? Why was he so opposed to all of this? “Isn’t a coronation as big as that just one way to make me a standout target?”, Dayan suddenly asked, but he eyed the plan with all the seating on them anyway, before he reached for a pen. “I think I’ll be able to fill that out myself, no need to concern you with - but I’d like to hear your opinion regardless. Which means, we’ll seat those lovely people here ... or rather here?”, he inquired and pointed at two different locations, at the end of the ballroom, in some corners. The one thing that interrupted them, however, was a knock at the door and the servant bringing them both of their teacups, alongside some sugar, and setting those down in-front of them ... eugh, he should really specify he didn’t want his stuff touched, did he? Dayan eventually shooed her away with a quick “thank you”, but then went back to the tables. “Considering that my uncle and his family sits at my table, I’m guessing we could seat the nobles of Wezette and Stenz there and you and your family here?” Those tables weren’t too far from his own, adjacent in fact. “Unless you’d rather not be in their reach.”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "Well the coronation of your father wasn't that big of a deal, but it was right in the middle of war and huge amount of people were mostly not good for his health, right? But the festivities for the king before him went on for five days. His father had a coronation banquette lasting for eight, with games and tournaments. Your's will be a small one with two to three days.", Lucien explained and he had the feeling the prince wasn't all too happy about it. "On the first day there is nothing much to do, all the nobles need to arrive and be pleased, but that's what servants are for. The second one will be your coronation in the temple and afterwards a parade from there to the castle. Then comes the big dinner and whatever the night brings afterwards. The next day the festivities will commence and on the fourth in the morning everyone will leave. At least that was what my father suggested when he wrote to you.", Lucien explained carefully watching Dayans reaction to all of that. "Most of them knew King Rain and Prince Richard and while you were present often too, I suspect you don't know as many people. Talking to them will help them gain a first impression and some trust."

      Dayan actually brought up a point that wasn't stupid. Sure the same person wasn't going to attack him and Olette wouldn't send another puppet, but there could still be danger, although Lucien was pretty sure he or his father would catch wind of something big. "Are you worried? That's understandable, but we will ensure your safety, of course. If you feel in any form safer we could put up more guards. I could even ask my father for some of his elite men to stand by your side, if you feel unhappy with your own?" After all they didn't protect anyone last time, but Lucien didn't say that out loud. Either way, Dayans would get protection from Olette no matter if he wanted that or not. Maybe not in form of soldiers stationed around him, but rather some agents mixed in with the servants caring for the guests. Luciens father wasn't someone leaving anything to chance. In the end Dayan took it upon himself to write down the names and that made Lucien takes his place to the side and slightly behind him to still see what he wrote down. Lucien let out another giggle. "So you're going to show them you know they don't like you and put them in their place? I like it.", he said, putting them close would have been an option too, but Dayan set the tone here. The further they got seated the less power they'd have in the kingdom and Dayan wouldn't kiss their boots. Good. A knock at the door made Lucien look up and after the servant left again, he took his teacup to taste the liquid inside carefully not to burn his tongue. "Whatever does that mean?", Lucien giggled some more. Was Dayan inviting him to his own table? "I'm fine with sitting with my family, it would look odd if I sat anywhere else." Lucien looked at the tables once more. "That leaves Lavern.", he pointed out, since Fhaergus nobles basically consisted only of Dayan anymore. The country was too small to house more than one family. It was kind of odd to see a noble family vanish like that.
    • "I think I'd go insane if it was any longer than that." Yet, Dayan had always been a party person and if it weren't for the fact that sometimes, just sometimes, he found himself at an impasse, he would be able to make better decisions - instead, he factored everything in like the hesitant idiot that he was. What was he going to do if his father, of all people, appeared at his doorstep one day, with the dead in tow, and told him that it was his time to go as well, that the world of the living hadn't been his home for quite some time and that it was foolish to believe that he could live here any longer than he already had? But Nayantai wasn't the grim reaper, he wasn't death incarnate, but then again, he had killed and judged plenty of people in his life, so he at least had some connection to death, in a weird way that fit him, didn't it? "Everything's still quite the blur, but I do remember that letter now that you mention it. The idea isn't too bad, I'll give your father that, but I'm hardly in the mood for festives ... but the invitations are sent out already and calling some of them back would just seem rude." As rude as those relatives that he barely even knew by name, Dayan was certain of that. "I know some, not that I cared much about their title, though." He didn't need to mention that he usually just fucked some unfortunate noble girl that he promised unimaginable things before dropping her like a hot potato and pursueing someone else the next time, did he?

      "I ... I do appreciate the offer, but that just seems out of place. I don't want to exhaust your and your fathers kindness and I also don't want to give any of the guests the impression that I have my suspicions that a killer might be among them." Nobles were quick to make all things gossip worth their while and while Dayan, personally, had never really liked it, he hated it even more when he found it to be about him, his family or anyone else he felt a close connection with, even if he only cought onto a small glimpse of it and never the whole lie, he didn't fancy it. "Why keep snakes close?", he asked once more, yet, did they even deserve to be called that? Dayan didn't know them, but he didn't know who or what he himself was, at least not right now and if this went on, he'd run out of time to realize, to understand and to figure it out, but not only for himself. "Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that. What I actually meant is, if your family and you fancies sitting somewhere else because you don't want to be seen among the nobles of Stenz or Wezette, you are free to choose another spot. You can correct me if you'd like, I don't mind", he uttered, knowing fully well that that might not be the best idea, especially with the redhead perched over his shoulder like that - the tea was probably still boiling, but at least it did smell like it was a herbal kind. "Only Lavern, huh." Dayan wasn't surprised, Myriads and Fhaergus noble families had become one and yet, whatever remained of them was he, himself, the one that didn't share a bloodlink with either. "There'd be a spot for them here", he eventually pointed out and showed Lucien.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "Good that we exactly picked your limit and not anything longer.", Lucien answered smiling and yet he wasn't sure if the prince would last three days. At the very least he should make a good impression most of the time so everyone knew that he was fit to be king. Was Dayan? Probably not, because if he would have known what Rain and Nayantai knew then he wouldn't have let anyone of Olette in his home, yet he did. Lucien almost felt bad for doing what he did here, but as of now he truly helped Dayan, didn't he? If he became king, uncontested, that was only for his best. He'd be in power with not many enemies and Olette didn't even intend to gain much of it besides some good trading deals and maybe a favor here and there. That wasn't not much, especially when one of their nobles spent time helping out the king as well. "I understand. Well, if it's too much we can think of something, just say the word and I'll find a way.", Lucien answered. The coronation would take place and a lot of people would come to watch it, but that didn't mean the visitors couldn't leave earlier. Lucien needed to think of the implications that entailed though and as of now there was no need to decide anything just yet. "For now it is probably enough to know the dukes, their close family and the lesser nobles from Myriad, since those are the ones directly under your command. Everyone else follows their dukes and they follow you."

      "Very well. But you needn't worry about our resources.", Lucien answered. Dayan was very much capable to make his own decisions and it were good ones. Still he would get extra protection and no one would notice, not even Dayan himself. He probably didn't know yet how to lead an army and an army didn't need to be soldiers all the time, but that was why Lucien was here, right? "Don't they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer?", Lucien asked and yes he noticed the irony in that. Olette very much always kept their enemies close to catch everything they were doing, but that too was nothing of Dayans concern, was it now? "Ah... no that is just fine. It's close to your table and I won't deny that honor.", he answered and then looked at the plan again to see were Dayan wanted Lavern to sit. That was fine too. He nodded. "The rest of the families should just be put down in order of their ranks, there is no need to spend too much time on this. Maybe put Myriads nobles closer to your table, at least that is my suggestion.", he offered some more advice. "I can finish that up later if you want me to. Now something else, what's your favorite food? And what else do we want to serve?"
    • “Mhm”, Dayan commented. That wasn’t his limit, his limit was already being tested right now and the one that did that was Lucien himself, but he wasn’t going to tell him off, not because he felt nauseous or like his throat was swelling up, that was just his own imagination and he still couldn’t touch that tea of his, he’d thought about it, gloves didn’t make it much better. His own handwriting was what felt weird to him and he was wondering if it was his own or if he was just trying to emulate someones, anyone elses, to stop feeling alone, to at least pretend that whoever was going to sit on that throne wasn’t him. What was this foreboding feeling that spread itself through his body anyway? It felt odd, yet familiar and while he did know what was about to come, he could still hold back for a bit, right? “I … I’ll have to deal with it, it’s not that big of a problem.” It was, there were going to be people everywhere, there was no way he could hide somewhere - he’d be the center of attention, all of their eyes would be on their new king, beloved or not, and they’d pick him apart like hungry vultures would a dead man, someone that he very much felt like. “Which means if I gain the dukes’ favor, the nobles that report to them won’t have much of a choice but to follow them if they follow me, that’s the gist, right?” However, he’d still have to make do with the lesser nobles of Myriad - who on earth needed those? What was their bidding?

      “I don’t, I’m sure we both have plenty at our disposal, but I do worry about exhausting your kindness”, he admitted. Lucien was already doing things with him that he shouldn’t be, that he needn’t do, but yet he did and Dayan was forever grateful for just that. Whatever the reason, he could imagine that Olette wasn’t just sending someone like the redhead for that, maybe they expected a thank you gift, or something along those lines and Dayan, who already had taken mental note of that, should really do that, shouldn’t he? “That’s not wrong, but in the end, keeping them on a short leash and putting them in their place from the start will establish my opinion over them - and I don’t think I’d like to keep a bunch of, excuse my language, trash close. It’ll start to smell foul eventually”, Dayan commented and he knew that he could have tried to make peace with his extended family, but not like that, not when most of them were racist maniacs that lived by what a now-dead man once said and theoretically, he should be glad that his great-grandmother had cheated on him and that he wasn’t blood-related to him in any way. There it was, the weird feeling in his fingers and his throat and the letters on the paper seemed even more jumbled, almost as if they were moving - fuck, he had enough of this, he didn’t need another panic attack. “Then I’m glad”, he reassured Lucien, but it already was getting hard to breathe and because Dayan did want to mask it, he reached for the cup, put it to his lips eventually and did drink from it - his hand wasn’t shaking uncontrollably, which was good. “Mhm, you’re right, I’ll take care of it in a second”, he answered, putting the cup aside eventually. Was it too warm in here? What the fuck? “Oh. I don’t think I’ve thought that far.” What did he enjoy eating? What did Richard like? Fuck, fuck, fuck. What happened to all that confidence he’d had once upon a blue moon?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Was that a stutter from the princes side? Something felt off all of a sudden, his body language changed even more, he looked like he was crouching a little bit and the times he swallowed went up. Lucien did notice all those things, even the gazes to the princes cup and back as if he was undecisive about drinking it for whatever reason. Lucien was curious what this was about and if Dayan were anyone else but the future king, he probably tested a view things, but that was probably the wrong kind of action right now. He didn't want to terrorize him, he wanted to help him. He didn't believe him when he said the festivities were not a problem, but that coronation was important anyway and Luciens father wanted it big enough to make it memorable. "Pretty much, it will be their responsibility to make them follow their line. It isn't bad to talk to them though, but there are a lot of families, so it's fine to concentrate on the important ones first.", Lucien explained and wondered how Dayans brother would have managed all this. After all he probably knew all that already, because he was trained to be king at some point and Dayan was not.

      "Don't worry, really. Having a successful coronation is important not only to you, it is also for the stability for all of us. And your safety is important, after all we don't want people to think Adrestia isn't a safe place for nobles. So whatever you need, just ask.", Lucien smiled, mixing some interest they could have for this in, because he didn't want Dayan to question why they were helping him so much. He probably had a lot of other things on his mind though. "Yes, I'm not disagreeing, that's a valid action and it shows thm you won't be toyed with.", Lucien nodded. Dayan drank from his cup eventually, but not because he was thirsty that was for sure. Maybe it was better not to push him right now and Lucien wouldn't have, because he had been under the impression he'd manage himself and just show the prince the results, but he wanted to do all that himself. Was there sweat building on his forehead? "Maybe we go with something simple then. SOme deer and and rabbit maybe. And different cakes. It's no necessary to pick all of that out yourself, if you trust your kitchen, we can ask them to think up a menu and show it to us.", he suggested and after a short pause he added: "If you want to have a little break from all of this, that's no problem."
    • Panic attacks were something that he wasn't able to deal with just yet - and that despite the fact that he could fix much deeper issues, that he could lend his brother a hand when he was in pain and still, now he was the one that fell down from a cliff, not able to catch himself, knowing there was no safety net at the bottom of all of this. Dayan of Fhaergus was, by far, not the most eligible for the job, but he'd make do, he knew as much, he knew that much since the beginning of all of this because he always had been confident, because he knew what he was doing and because hate couldn't get to him, that was the gist of it. The sole problem was, that he felt like a dead man walking and that the anxiety that made his chest swell with something, with pain, quite, literally, wasn't doing him any favors, not when he noticed his own breathing changing and to get rid of the, he covered his mouth with his hand and coughed into it - this wasn't helping. "So you suggest I at least acquaint myself with them and let them form their own opinion", he repeated, though, that opinion should have been that he was a good king as any other, no matter the fact that the wolves' blood was his own and no matter the fact that the pain, as he knew it, was nothing but a short streak in his life. Eventually, everyone died and Dayan was no real exception, but instead, he lived to see another excruciatingly painful day.

      "Being accepted is in the best interest for any of us, I believe, simply for the fact that I wouldn't exactly be able to rule all that well if there's too many nobles contesting my right to the throne", Dayan answered, but it wasn't exactly meant for Lucien, was it now? This felt as if he was having a one-on-one with a ghost, someone that kept answering the questions how he wanted them answered because he just heard their voices and for once, he did catch a glimpse of what felt off, even though it came at the cost of his composure. Right now, he was in physical pain, too, wasn't he? "You reap what you sow", he added and it wasn't much different from what he'd had in mind initially - this was, by far, nothing to contest and it never would be, not again, as long as he was in charge. Would he be for a long time? Dayan didn't know, but all of his concerns were currently on himself, rather than his dead family. His palms felt sweaty and everything in front of him was quite blurry, it felt as if he was trapping himself somewhere that he couldn't get out of without a bit of help. "Asking the kitchen staff ... hm, that's probably the best idea." This was something he had to push through, a panic attack was nothing worth paying attention to, he knew that, because every single time he gave in, he came out looking more miserable than he had been before - but he felt cornered, a little bit too much at that. "No, I'm fine, no need for breaks. Was there anything else? If not, I'll arrange a tailor for tomorrow and I might as well get my hair fixed up."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "All of them are your subordinates, having connections to a lot of places is always helpful and a duke is nothing if all his subordinates chose a different line, so they aren't unimportant as well.", Lucien explained slowly, but he didn't pack any more information into it, because he could see that Dayan was feeling worse. The unhelpful cough didn't do him any good, but he was fighting to contain his pain and anxiety. Still he was only talking to Lucien who was nothing but nice to him, how would this go with a bunch of nobles, everyone wanting a piece of him? It would have probably been better if Dayan was angry and lashed out, than showing his weakness to others, even though Lucien was very observant in that regard, so it wasn't even that bad. Still if he broke down during the coronation it would show the world that he was weak and his throne would be in danger, more so than if he just killed someone in front of everyones eyes because he said something wrong. Ruling by fear was a strategy, not necessarily a good one for a king, but better than being weak. Lucien wondered if he was able to help Dayan, but he was different, he experienced trauma, loss, pain and death - a lot of it, so how he coped with it now was not applicable to someone coming in contact with that for the first time, especially with a family so soft and different from Luciens own.

      "That's the gist of it, yes.", Lucien nodded, his voice grew slightly softer as if he didn't want to intrude Dayans space with a wrong noise. Again he nodded and backed off a little bit, because he felt like that was exactly what Dayan needed. Too many people expected too many things of him already, but at the same time Dayan wanted to put everything on his own shoulders, when he truly didn't need to. "I will talk to them and ask them for a menu.", Lucien decided on his own volition now, if he had asked Dayan would have just said he wanted to do that on his own, so now Lucien didn't offer him that option in the first place. "I... actually have a lot of other points to address.", Lucien carefully said and got to his bag again to pull out a list with things that needed to be done. The route for the parade, what flower themes Dayan wanted, how many soldier would be stationed where, how the garden should look for the guests, where the guests would be roomed and a lot of other logistic things. He slowly placed the list on Dayans table while some thoughts already formed in his mind and he suddenly decided to up the pressure on the poor prince a little bit. "Since the date is already set and we don't have that much time, we probably should address most of the points rather soon.", he explained and took a step back as if to signal that he was the one that wanted to give him space, peace and quiet, but society demanded his attention not only for the coronation, but also now. "I don't mean to offend, but a hairdresser is a good idea. The short hair suit you quite well though."
    • "There's no shame in knowing your enemy, then, as much as there isn't shame in knowing your allies. Well, I don't blame anyone, it's always good to know who is up to what, I wouldn't be surprised if all of a sudden, a war broke out in Adrestia because our fine dukes can't agree with each other anymore." This was a mess, a big one. Most of the dukes were loyal to his father and even those who weren't had at least feigned their allyship, though, Lavern had lost the last of their blood quite some time ago during the war, which was well-deserved, but even Olette and Alster weren't free of sin, though, Dayan did doubt that someone like Declan or his children would really stoop that low and ignited a long gone fire, especially since Declan did give a damn about his brother, who, by all means, had been dead for a while, but he had fought for plenty of this freedom that they had now, too. Wasn't it almost sad to think about how time went by? Most of his own family was dead, too, and it seemed as if the Alster and Fhaergus-bloodlines were going down a hill ever since his grandfathers had met, or rather, already before that. "And yet, I'm not sure what to make of all of this", Dayan admitted, he knew he was weak, knew he was in pain and he knew that nothing was going to amount to anything if he kept searching for senseless excuses.

      At least he got something, but Lucien was still hard to understand, hard to read, almost as if he himself wanted it that way because no one, not even his king, should know who stood before him, but that was fine, more than anything, and why? Because Dayan didn't care, yet, he hadn't established that to the redhead and instead, he was having a fullblown panic attack that he wasn't good at hiding - he did have to figure something out. "I ... Alright, thank you", he said instead, not being given the choice - or the illusion of choice - this time around. Whatever it was that made the stranger act like that, say those things and give him a piece of his mind, the wolf wasn't sure, but rather than pushing him away and behaving like the obviously hurt teenager that he was, he just did what he thought he could do best, which was act in line with everything. "A coronation sounds like a pain", he mumbled all of a sudden before being presented with more evidence by Lucien, who seemingly distanced himself from all the work that he brought with him, but why? What was the point in any of this? "I should have taken care of all of this way earlier." Dayan knew that, but he spend days grieving and those days turned into weeks because he didn't want the looming threat of a heavy crown upon his head, he never had wanted that. His eyes sifted through what lay before him, but all of it was gibberish and if he were alone, he would have let himself be weak, but in this case, he wanted to push through it. Dayan took the cup, drank the other half of it and set it aside again. "No need to, I know that it looks like a mess - you can be honest." Maybe he could ... no, hands off of the knives and scissors, there wasn't much more hair to get rid off anyway.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • If Lucien dug deep he probably could touch a glimpse of how he felt back then, when his father introduced him to death and fear, but all those feelings were locked up deep inside of him for a reason and what remained was a dull, almost emotionless puppet that did his fathers bidding even after his death. Lucien very much had a character of his own. He was arrogant, he valued himself as something better than most other people, he liked having fun, he liked toying with people, that was who he was, but sometimes he wondered if any of that was truly him, or if he simply needed a persona to keep the illusion alive that he wasn't in fact a dead man walking this earth. Locking those things away however took time and Dayan wasn't ready to forget about all of that and if Lucien told him to just distance himself from the pain, he'd probably be angry. "We'll please the Lords and once they see their new king they'll realize that there is no room for war. Respect is important and I am sure you can gain the respect of your people.", Lucien answered. He saw the pain and confusion that had Dayan in his grasp, but he was strong enough to not burst just now. "You will grow into your role and no king ever ruled all by his lonesome. There is no shame in asking for help."

      Lucien was an illusive person, his being out of grasp for most and he tried to only show what was important to others. If someone wanted a friend, he was a friend, if someone wanted an enemy, he got one, but right now he wasn't sure what Dayan wanted, maybe he just wanted to be alone. "If you're not big for company, I bet it is.", Lucien agreed. "But I'm here to help." And yet the prince didn't truly want to give anything out of his own hands, he wasn't behaving like a king just yet, but once it was getting too much, he probably would learn to delegate and take the help that was offered. "I'm positive we can finish everything up in time.", Lucien said and the truth was, he probably would have been finished in three days if it was only him alone and if he would have been allowed to decide whatever he wanted. Dayan however... his mind was not truly here, was it? "Well it looks like you cut it yourself.", Lucien answered with a smile. Dayan wanted him to be honest, right? "May I ask why you cut it?"
    • Dayan was, by all accounts, shaken up and he made it harder on himself than it needed to be, but he also - very much at that - knew, that nothing was going to change. Tears weren’t going to bring back the dead, as much as he wasn’t suddenly going to find himself feeling more alive because he understood what it meant to lose something, to accept defeat. Whatever the case, he was trying and surely, just like Lucien said, he’d figure all of this out eventually. “Prejudice is never a good thing”, he tacked onto the last statement regarding him being seen as a king. Adrestians and thrians alike had been victim to that and while a lot of people would describe Dayan as almost numb and insensitive to the pain that came with that, he had listened whenever he got a chance to - his parents hadn’t seen this as some sort of kingly duty anyway, they wanted all of their children to respect and judge both sides equally but not for who they were but for the things they did. “Thrusting everything onto others isn’t a way to rule, either, though, that much is clear.” If he gave all of his duties to servants and all kinds of different nobles, he’d be a king in title and name - maybe he’d like that more - than actually being one, but he didn’t want to end like the last one.

      There was no tea left, he needn’t glance at the cup to find that out and there was no reason for him to keep ignoring the work that Lucien laid out before him. Dayan knew that he has waited long enough, that he wasn’t going to get back what he had wasted and yet, he still didn’t have his thoughts or his breathing under control, not one bit. “I wouldn’t say I’m not, I’ve always enjoyed being the center of attention and the bigger the festives, the better - this, however isn’t enjoyable in the least”, he admitted and he didn’t know why that was, but everyone - even his servants - were painfully aware that he was, at least somehow, trying to shoulder all of that on his own and that he wasn’t fine, even if he kept insisting. “I’m glad for your help.” Dayan never would tell someone off, not because of that and he’d never not wonder what it meant to be someone as unimpressionable as he was right now - wasn’t he getting boring to Lucien? “Mhm, no need to slack.” The redhead would talk to the kitchen staff, he would talk to a tailor and a hairdresser to get it cut, to have it look better than it did right now - it was painfully obvious, wasn’t it? “I figured”, he mumbled. Was his throat swelling? Fuck, it really was hard to breathe. “I couldn’t stand to look at myself.” What did it remind him of? Many things, but more importantly, it helped calm him down somehow.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "Well sure, but all of that are not so important decisions. This is impacting the future of Adrestia, but not in a way a new law or new taxes would. Not all on that list is important and there are people more suitable for certain tasks, you wouldn't tailor your own clothes as well, right? The guest list and the seating were important, the food and flowers are not truly and since I doubt you're a cook or a florist, you wouldn't know as much about such things as others. I don't mean to tell you what to do, but doing everything on your own will not work out, this is why there are certain posts in a kingdom that fill out with different people and those people might even know more about certain fields than you do. Nobody expects a king to be all knowing and omnipresent. What I'm trying to suggest is, let's work off that list not deciding every little detail, but let's find people in your court that can take upon certain tasks and when they came up with something your job is it to decide if you're satisfied with what they were doing or not. If you don't have a clear idea of what you want to do, I think this is the best course of action.", Lucien ended his long monologue and wondered if Dayan never was present when his brother was taught certain lessons regarding ruling.

      Dayan looked worse and worse by the minute, Lucien wasn't sure if it was all that work, Luciens presence or the fact that the coronation would be huge and nothing Dayan fancied. "Maybe you'll feel better with attending than with planning.", Lucien suggested and he smiled when his help once more found appreciation. But to make Dayan not lose his head and to actually make this work, it seemed like Lucien needed to take matters into his own hands at some point. Dayan wanted to keep going however, at least it seemed that way, maybe he only wanted to get it over with in the first place. Lucien didn't comment on the explanation about his hair and instead took another look at that awfully long list. "Tell you what. I'm going to talk to your head chef right now and get everything under way. This gives you some time to take a look at the list and fgure out how you want to proceed with it. While I'm at it, I'll let you bring another tea.", Lucien announced, since he felt like Dayan needed a moment for himself and thus he was already aiming for the door to give him just that. He'd have some time to breath or get familiar with all the tasks on that piece of paper, whatever it was he wanted to do in the time Lucien gave him, without being needed to be sent out.
    • “You’re right”, Dayan commented and he knew as much. Why was the redhead lecturing him on something like that? He told him to be honest, so he was and there was no need to sugarcoat everything to the best of his abilities - he didn’t have to, he didn’t need to and this was how things works. “I should leave things I have no clue of to the people that know how to do them, it was never any different to begin with.” What did Lucien want to hear? That nothing mattered? That he was ready to let all of this go? Dayan wasn’t completely dense and this game needed two people to be played, even if none knew that they were playing anything at all. Sure, his complexion probably got incredibly pale and the fact that he was trying to be someone he wasn’t didn’t make up for it, but he could try, as he’d always done, just because boundaries didn’t stop him, not like that. “We’ll see.” He doubted that he would and for once, he did realize why his father and grandfather were so surprised when they found out how much he enjoyed crowds and festivities - both of them had hated them, at least the adrestian kind and at least one of them was prone to having panic attacks when all of the attention shifted to him, so this wasn’t news, was it? “Alright, I’ll be here, then.” Did he want that? He didn’t know, but he would be staying here for a while, a good chunk of a while.

      Once he heard the familiar sound of this heavy door opening, then closing, he wanted to shove all of this paperwork out if his face, wanted to get out of his skin, but instead, he undid the first, then the second button on his shirt in hopes of having more room to breathe - he didn’t he still was feeling warm, it was hot, too hot for some tea and too silent to not hear them. Dayan wanted out, he wanted to leave, to go somewhere and he wanted it now, but he couldn’t and he felt tears well up in his eyes and his body was particularly hunched over the desk, hiding his face in his hands and gripping at the loose strands of hair that still fell into his face somehow, in the only thing that reminded him that reality was still around, that he wasn’t living in a dream and that this was just a fullblown panic attack. He wanted none of this! Nobody should be under the impression that he wanted to be king, that he wanted to he something else other than himself - Richard had to be out there, had to be alive and he had to be living, breathing, doing something! Fuck, he hated this, he hated himself for being weak, for not being himself anymore and he hated everything, everyone - this was a nightmare. His breathing was shallow at best, he felt dizzy already and once he came to, once he found himself feeling better - not like he’d keel over and die any second - he went back to what Lucien had left him, especially now that that tea of his had arrived and one of the maids had to see him in a sorry state like that. Dayan did eventually finish most of it up - did he just have a really short panic attack or did Lucien take forever?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Lucien walked out and closed the door behind him, but before leaving he listend for a short while. He kind of wanted to know if Dayan would ruin his furniture, or if he coped with all of this different? There still was no monster, nothing that explained how people talked about him, but maybe they were just racist towards a wolf. Lucien heard nothing much and thus he left to find the right person to make them a menu. He also told them to calculate costs and take into account that they needed to order large amounts of food on short notice, even though Lucien made sure that certain merchants were holding some stuff for the coronation beforehand. He asked them about storing and about their staff, they probably needed to invite more cooks from somewhere else, whoever that might have been and there as will Lucien made some repercussions beforehand. After all was said and done he found a maid to tell her to prepare another cup of tea for her prince and when she was finished she took it upon herself to bring it to him. After she left the room again, Lucien had waited outside to ask her how Dayan was looking. She did hesitate, but eventually told him what she saw and Lucien decided to give Dayan a view more minutes.

      Lucien waited out there and wondered how he could bring Dayan to do less on his own and give Lucien some of the work in his more than capable hands. How else would he prove himself to him? The prince was stubborn and he could have been more lazy, that would have been easier. It even would have been easier if he just refused to work on this and forced Lucien to make decisions of his own, but no, he was stuck with him being undecisive. Was Lucien already getting impatient? Maybe, because Dayan was hard for him to read and even harder to manipulate as it seemed. After a few more minutes Lucien made his way back to the door, knocked and waited to be allowed inside before he opened the door and closed it behind himself once more. "How's it going?", he asked smiling and walked towards the table to look at the list. "We can expect a menu by the end of the day, including a list of ingredients which I asked them to check for availability beforehand. I also took the liberty to ask them how many more cooks they'd need and by tomorrow I can give you a list of candidates to choose from.", he reported back with a big smile on his face.
    • The thing was, it did take him some time to not completely lash out, to not trash the entirety of this room, but it wasn't because he felt like he didn't want to - this was a panic attack, he wasn't really dying, he knew as much, but it also wasn't him going mad. Dayan was all sorts of ghastly pale, of horrible to work with and he also was someone that, just sometimes, lost it all over a simple glance when he was drunk and out of it, but those were things that happened once in a blue moon and even then, all of it was a fair game, a fair fight and just fun - any of the anger that he had redirected towards his servants, people that didn't deserve any of it. In the end, wasn't he the one that pushed everyone away, the one that wanted ot be alone and rid of all the task he superimposed upon himself because then he'd at least feel like he had something to do, something to say and some worth attached to him? "I'm almost done with most of this, but sifting through it all and trying to gain understanding of this is really not my forte." There was ample time to learn about it all after this, he wanted to know and while he had ditched most of Richards boring 'how-to-be-a-good-king-by-your-dad"- lessons, he wished that he hadn't, at least right about now.

      His glance diverted itself to the cup of tea, which he still hadn't taken, but it would go cold like this, yet, someones hands had laid upon it not too long ago and Dayan hated himself for considering someone elses touch as filthy and unclean, but he couldn't bear to actually lay his hands upon any of it, not when he had seen it being deliberately touched. "That's good news! Thank you for your help, Lucien, you really are a blessing", Dayan eventually complimented the redhead, yet, he still hadn't shown him much emotion, except fear, panic, helplessness and a whole other of negative things. What was smiling to either of them? Nothing, especially when his little helper threw around smiles like they were candy for those who couldn't afford any, but he didn't mind, actually, nothing of this was too important, not when he went back to the stuff that he'd been handed. "Do you want to take a seat? I already asked so much of you and all you do is run around and do things for me, or give me your much appreciated insight." Not once in his life had he been this polite before with someone, maybe with a girl he tried to court, but even then the politeness wanned quickly, once they both knew what they wanted from one another.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Lucien took a short glance on Dayans desk to assess his progress and the he just stayed where he was. No actually he felt like looking around this little study a little bit, but he refrained from touching anything right now. He wondered how many kings had sat hear before. He doubted that Dayans adoptive father hid something good in here though, he didn't seem like the type. "For not understanding you work pretty fast.", Lucien smiled and looked what lay behind glass in some of those cupboards. Nothing important, just old junk basically. "Anything I can help with?", he asked, maybe something Dayan wanted to know, or something he wanted Lucien to do. Talk to someone else for whatever he needed, there were a lot of things that needed to be taken care of. "There is a lot of things to keep in mind, but this is good exercise for what's to come. You'll still have the possibility to appoint someone as your advisor if you feel like it, so don't worry.", Lucien smiled and eventually let his fingers run over one piece of furniture, some wooden cupboard, but his fangers ran not by the door of it.

      "No need to thank me. It's kind of my job right now.", Lucien grinned, but he was glad about the compliment. A blessing, huh? That was nice to hear but far from the truth. Although just because Lucien had his own goals didn't mean that he wasn't doing something good for Dayan as well. Lucien pressed on the wood firmly and as if he had know some compartment opened revealing a little secret, in this case a bottle of... what? Some alcohol. "I doubt that's your fathers.", he commented but grabbed it to see what it was. It was old, but not that old, maybe the former kings. Eventually Lucien brought it over to the desk and placed it right in front of Dayan, something to spice his tea with maybe? Maybe it helped. He didn't comment on it though, instead he actually took the offer and sat down across the table. "Thank you.", he smiled. "But if there is anything else I should take care of, don't hesitate to ask, I don't mind." From here he couldn't exactly see the list, but Dayan was doing fine on his own, right? He'd tell him if he needed anything.
    • Dayan worked well, maybe not under pressure and expectations, but whenever he needed to do something, he did, whatever or not his parents asked him to, it didn't matter - in that regard, he was like his father, right? Unable to sit still, to enjoy that title of his and let it come with all of the benefits that sheep added onto it. Nayantai never had been able to do that, to play the role of a diplomat that he didn't want to be, at least not when he left the public eye and it was odd to know so many different versions of him, to understand someting but not everything and it did make him wonder if, in the end, his old man was nothing more than a beast in disguise and if he, for all those years, just played pretend - but something didn't add up, something that at least felt important enough to question it for days on end. "The work has to get done and I won't let myself be deterred by a minor inconvenience. What I don't know, I can learn", he assured the redhead, but was he really able to? In the end, maybe it was all for naught and he'd notice that no matter what, he was the one that was digging his own grave, the one he deserved to lay in. "Nothing right now, except you ... could you glance over those? I'm not sure myself", he elaborated, then shoved some papers Luciens way. What was he doing? Relying on others and looking for a replacement to dote on? Was he pathetic?

      "An advisor? Well, we'll see." Rain had had some, but they came and went and eventually, all that remained was Nayantai, who's opinion he valued above anyone elses from the start. They both were, very much, in love and it did surprise Dayan that not more people had caught onto that relationship of theirs, yet, who cared? In the end, it all boiled down to him being the last of his blood and the Fhaergus bloodline being extinct, yet, he wore the name like the thief he was. His eyes wandered to where Lucien moved from and for a moment, he figured that the redhead had found a bottle of booze that he hid in one of the secret compartments that he discovered on accident, but once he brought it over and sat it on the table, it looked way too old to be his - who did this belong to? Neither of his father fancied drinking much, one of them because he wasn't used to it and his heart wasn't taking kindly to anything, the other because he was done and over with ... what exactly? Shit, what did he even know about his fathers? "Mh, no. He didn't drink, only if he really had to for some formal occassions and even then, I don't think he finished a glass." Hadn't Nayantai sometimes done that for him when nobody was looking? In hindsight, didn't it hurt his father a tad bit too much that the one person he had eventually passed away, still as early as he did? "In the end, we all work towards the same goal, more or less - but I appreciate the help, a lot."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Now that Lucien actually sat down he made himself comfortable, because he figured that Dayan valued someone that didn't treat him like a king just yet. He crossed one leg over the other and leaned back. Well he should have let himself be brought a tea as well, but it was fine like this. The furniture here though was old, proven by the fact that there had been hidden booze in one of the cupboards and it was at least one generation old. This place needed a renovation! But that had time, for now the big coronation was on their agenda. "Spoken like a true king.", Lucien smiled and folded his hands while he had nothing to do but wait for something to do. Actually Dayan had something to do for him and thus he leaned forward to grab the papers Dayan wanted him to take a look at. "No problem.", he smiled, leaned back with those and started to read what was on there. Dayan didn't do half bad, maybe he was a little short sighted, but it were plans they'd fulfill. Lucien didn't take too much time going over each paper and one after another was sat back on the table without much of a comment.

      "Even if it's just your great uncle you talk to, having different views is never a bad thing.", Lucien smiled, though in the end there was only one view Dayan should value, wasn't it that? Lucien couldn't have other people butting in, but as of now nobody even moved a finger to help the poor prince, thus he could forget them all anyway. Lucien was here, no one else. "What about you? Do you drink?", he asked but with Myriads grapevines right around the corner, who wouldn't have a fine glass of wine once in a while? "That reminds me, we should reserve some fine bottles for the coronation. Only the best for your guests, right?" Another piece of paper found it's way back on the table, then another and eventually the last. "Please, there is no need to tell me that so often.", Lucien chuckled and leaned back again. "I think those look good. We have to check about resources for some of those, but it will work out. People are waiting to get contracts for the vent for weeks, we're just a little bit late."
    • He wondered what the right course of action would be, at least from here on out. The bottle sat there, as if Lucien had planned to taunt him, somehow - wordlessly - told him to spike that tea of his with something better, something else, but Dayan knew that not being sober meant being responsible for those things that haunted him during a state of drunkness and he knew that they’d appear the moment he took a single drop of alcohol to begin with. “Was that too stiff? I think that well-placed words can at least shape some sort of illusion, to cover up that I don’t know much and that I’m not entirely suited for the role of king just yet.” Dayan would never be, he knew that and he also knew that, if he ran after the dead any longer than this and then admitted to being someone that he never wanted to be, his entire existence would be in vain, ever so slightly. His glance sometimes went up, shifted to Lucien who was doing the utmost to give him a helping hand, but for some reason, there was still something that felt off about all of this, something that felt like he should know about and yet he didn’t, whyever that was.

      “Much like different opinions aren’t. I can ask for some guidance, or at least a push in the right direction and I’ll wind up somewhere else every time.” That wasn’t wrong, he could always ask his great-uncle, he could always bother him with the silliest of things and he knew that the old man wouldn’t say no, but that also meant he’d have to go to Alster, or invite him here and none of that was easy, especially when most of the countries population still hated him to a fault. “I did, quite frequently, but only in social situations. If you want a glass, or use the alcohol for something else, be my guest … actually, would you like another cup of tea?”, Dayan wanted to know and as that went on, sifted through some more words on almost blank paper, at least it appeared to be and he wanted to know why that was, how all of this was going to be and what came after that. “Yes, I suppose. Alcohol will keep them appeased and if a fight breaks out, which I doubt with so many nobles around, it’ll be fun to watch.” A bit of discord wasn’t bad, especially not when it served to entertain the future king, someone who wasn’t showing his bad temper off just yet. “You do deserve praise, though. But … how old are you? You’re my age, right?” Was it wrong to compliment someone like Lucien for the hard work he did and for how little effort he needed to do it all? The prince was unsure, but he’d even figure that out. “And if it doesn’t work out, we tried and we need an alternative, though, that shouldn’t be too hard.”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Dayan didn't seem interested in that alcohol, well too bad. He seemed more interested in Lucien himself, but he acted like he continued reading and didn't notice all those looks. Did he ask himself why Lucien was here in the first place? What his goal might have been? Was he suspicious? No, probably not. Lucien looked up and smiled. "No not at all! Don't worry so much all the time.", Lucien laughed. Too stiff, too inexperienced, too unkingly? What was it now? "You're doing fine. Just be yourself. Either way you can do whatever you want very soon.", he concluded. Lucien wasn't sure how he'd feel if he was going to become king, but he probably would be a tad bit more happy about it. Then again Dayan only got that title because everyone else was dead and while Lucien didn't care about such things, Dayan very much did. The Fhaergus family always valued their own in high regard, wasn't it that? Dayan was raised like that. Well in the end the Olette family wasn't so different. His family came first, but if they died without Luciens wrong doing, what would he care about it? There was no use mulling over something like that. But Lucien also knew that he was alone with that opinion, because his father raised him like that and not his siblings.

      "You can't have eyes and ears everywhere, so naturally you need to listen to a lot of people.", Lucien smiled and both of it was wrong. Lucien had his eyes and ears almost everywhere, except at some parts his father didn't want him to pry into. And the only person Dayan eventually should listen to was Lucien. "I... yes, actually. I'll take another cup.", he smiled and he also took the bottle of alcohol to inspect it a little bit, now that he didn't have anything else to do. It wasn't wine, it was much stronger, but he wasn't sure if it still was good after all those years. He opened the bottle then smelled on the contents, only to move back from it. "Strong stuff.", he commented, closed the bottle again and set it back on the table. He wasn't drinking all too much usually and he rather enjoyed a good glass of wine instead. Alcohol never did too much to him and in the end he was taught to always keep a clear head, wasn't he? "A fight? Is that what you're after? Just on't join in!", Lucien chuckled. Some chaos was always fun. "How old? Seventeen. Why do you ask?", he wanted to know and he knew himself that Dayan was seventeen as well, though not for very much longer. "Correct. You don't even need my help, do you?"