bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

The worst that could happen was any mention of Yin, though, she wasn't part of the picture right now and if it was up to Yujin, he'd leave her out of this, not even tell Richard for as long as he could and keep up the charade. Yin had been here for long enough and she was overstaiyng her welcome in Yujins mind and family at this point - he wasn't up to marry her, never had been and never would be, but Shuren tried to push the narrative that they were a happy couple anyway. If any of this went Yins way, Yujin was sure that they were married by now and he was stuck in a relationship he never wanted. But then, that begged an entirely different question as well. Not only was nothing happening the way it should be, he also had to pick - did he want Richard instead? Was that what their little conversation was insinuating at this point? It almost sounded that way, and the thought of it made his heart skip a beat, if not two, and now he was blushing profusely as well. He'd missed Richard, that much was for certain, but all those things aside, he wasn't going to keep pushing his very own narrative - instead, the initial discussion was dismissed with a single look alone.

There it was, the foreboding silence that Yujin dreaded, and his response was kissing the hand that Richard hadn't pulled back yet, once more. Then, however, the thing that Yujin dreaded so much followed - unlike him, the blonde remembered and recalled, and that meant that Richard would be fairly aware of a few more things, not just the ones that definitely reeked of Yin. He gulped. How was he to tell Richard all of that? Playing coy didn't help, coming clean would only upset Richard and possibly Yujin, but lying to him didn't feel right either. "Emphasis on had.", he answered, and it wasn't wrong. She was no longer his girlfriend, she was his fiancée and Yujin bore nothing that showcased their bond, mainly because he didn't feel up to the task, because he didn't want to share said bond with her. Necessity was, what had cause all of this to happen, and his fathers various endeavours to expand Silesse, but Yujin needn't be part of that - he was sure he'd told both of them off, more than once at that, and it was nothing short of embarrassing to think about it at that. "Is that what your answer depends on?", Yujin asked, looking at Richard coyly. This was ... bound to backfire at some point, but how would the blonde know? He wasn't lying, he just had to come clearn eventually. "Look ... it's not exactly a friendly reaction to ... uh. When ... when you showed me the scar ... on your neck. I wanted to kiss it, that was my first reaction. That's not ... something friends do.", Yujin admitted. How deep could he dig his hole? Why was the answer yes?

Plenty of concerns, masked with a good portion of self hate and a longing for something that wasn't there - Yujin knew that he couldn't deny Richard any wishes he might have had, but he also knew that it would be a crawl to get back to where they were. Maybe it was better to ignore any and all feelings, to deny himself profound happiness that never was there in the first place, or maybe he was trying to rationalize a scenario that - albeit seeming hopeless - was nothing more than him, watching out for something that did nothing but hurt both of them. It was an almost sad reality that yes, Yujin was holding onto something that could hardly be a truth that persisted up until now, but not only that, he seemingly made it hard on both of them, after all that happened, too. "Mhm, I figured.", he admitted, despite never wanting to admit that in the first place. There was no other way for him to know if any of that was right, or if he was merely talking about presumptions that he had from the very first moment on. Richard was, in fact, cute like this, but Yujin wasn't and he was pushing the wrong buttons regardless of that anyway. What was he thinking? Richard had already told him that there was no going back to how things used to be - he was right.

The air around them grew heavy and Yujin felt tugging on his hand, with it disappearing out of sight soon after, alongside Richards. Now, he truly felt bad, not because he was jumping to conclusions, but rather because he made awfully clear that he had feelings for someone that was, by his bedmates definition, long gone and far out of reach. Was that a good thing? He could marry Yin without regrets, sure, but he never wanted that in the first place and he himself was grimacing now, maybe even visibly hurt by how things played out, but as soon as he took note of that, his demeanor changed again - this wasn't fair, not for Richard, who was right. "No need to be.", he assured. Was there? No, maybe he should have made his pick much earlier than that, implied that he wanted to be with nobody but the blonde, whoever he was in the end, but he was quite useless at that - he'd left, without saying goodbye, for a good reason at that. "Richard.", Yujin called out, his voice still silent, as if the moment itself was fragile and close to breaking apart. "It's alright, you're not using me. There is no need to apologize, there never was.", he made clear, his voice sounding firm on that matter - and now that Richard was removing himself from the situation, both mentally and physically as it seemed, Yujin still squeezed his hand. "I shouldn't have ... come so close and told you all that. You changed, I understand that. But that doesn't mean I can't like the current you, or the actual you, does it? We don't need to go back to where we were at either, but I like you, regardless of that." That he did, even if he purposely didn't confess his feelings - did he love this Richard? He didn't know, but he could figure it out by himself, though, Richard was right, he was muddling up his feelings for two different people, or at the very least he was very close to doing so. "I wanted this myself."

Maybe, Richard was right and Yujin was just deluding himself in every way possible - there was no way of knowing if he woke up one morning and just decided that yes, this relationship of theirs was boring, not worth it and he'd much rather spend his time doing something else, somewhere else, as far away from the blonde as possible. And yet, even then, Yujin wanted to cherish the little moments they had, like the one right before all of it went downhill because one of them voiced his concerns; he felt bad, but not because Richard might as well have been right, or because he wasn't going to be wrong ever again, but rather because he, of all people, clung to a glimmer of hope that his old self couldn't even grasp at any point in their relationship. "That's what you feel bad about?", Yujin asked after listening to it all, almost watching the walls building themselves in his minds eye, but it didn't matter. When had it? Any obstacle that was thrown his way, he either went around or over, sometimes even under, and Richard was just saying things that the wolf already knew and was well aware of, at the very least by now. He'd never change, but Richard did, and while all of that had happened, maybe they stopped being a good fit for one another - but he didn't know that yet.

"You can't? That's all there is?", he mumbled, squeezing that hand of his that was being held onto tightly - he shared the sentiment. Not only was Yujin trying his best to understand and find a solution for both of them, he also was adamant about not leaving Richard behind. It wasn't a nice thing to do, as much as it would only result in more pain, not just for one of them - it would visibly hurt both of them, and all that aside, Yujin also knew that he'd be responsible for hurting someone he'd vowed to protect. "Richard, you're supposed to heal first. It's not like you can never do any of those things again - your life isn't over.", Yujin clarified, smiling at the blonde once more, even if it took a bit to find said smile. Sometimes, it wasn't easy being himself or the role he took on, and yet, in the end, it was who he was - who he'd be forevermore. "You needn't feel bad. Seriously, I mean it. I have two mostly fine legs - if being around you bothered me, I could use them to walk out of here, and I could not talk to you. Do you ... feel bad because I'm missing out?" It sounded just like that, and to tell the truth, it most likely was like that, too. Yujin, however, still beamed. Why wouldn't he? Richard needed his own, personal sunshine in his gloomy, depressing life - and it so happened that a blue-eyed wolf was a good fit. "One step at a time is right. You don't mind leaving your room to bathe, and you don't mind coming to the courtyard later, right? There's no need to rush. If your own four walls make you feel secure and comfortable, that's that - do you think I was any different after what happened to me?" He couldn't and wouldn't know, but Yujin could assume. "And besides, I already hated sleeping alone in my own bed for two nights. I like being with you, you dork! If you need time to rest, time to heal, you can have all you need - and I'll be with you, every step of the way, if you'll have me." Then, he squeezed Richards hand again, not bringing it back up to their faces however; he grabbed Richards other hand, too. This sounded much more sappy than it was, but Yujin had kicked everything into motion, and now, he was the one trying to fix it, too.

There it was, the answer that Yujin both expected and dreaded at this point - he was the root of all of this, he was the one that got Richard back to talking, the one that seemingly assured him that whatever he did was the right thing and the one that seemingly forced his way into the hard of the blonde before, and now, that he wasn't even sure where he belonged himself, Richard was the one that wanted him back there, in a place he'd never been able to see himself in in the first place. It was almost comical to consider, and Yujin wasn't sure what he'd hoped for when he started this conversation - he held Richards hands in his own, the cute face he'd looked at earlier was buried in his shoulder by now, and sniffling soon followed. "It's all good ...", he mumbled, reassuring the blonde was he put one arm around him, pulling him closer to where he was before, pulling him in and squeezing that hand of his that he stubbornly had held onto until now, all the while his other hand stroked over Richards back as best as he could. "I never said no to having you back, did I?" But he never agreed, the question wasn't exactly in the room before and Yujin hated himself for not thinking about it too much - maybe Richard would have liked that.

There were sobs and Yujin was the one that comforted Richard, that kept track of all that happened - he'd have to, in a sense he was the one that the blonde should be relying on by now, not the other way around. Yujin felt as if that had happened before, often enough, but it was better this way; Richard couldn't bottle all of his feelings up forever, and he'd soak them up, just like this, letting him cry as much as he wanted to. "It already happened, there's nothing to regret now, not for you. I regret not being able to keep you here and shield you from harm.", he admitted, and continued to let his fingers run alongside Richards back, getting his fingers caught in his hair on purpose, a few times at least, as if that would eventually pull him back into reality and assure him that yes, Yujin was very much with him. "You aren't difficult, either." The words rung true, and not once had he claimed Richard to be - the assumption itself was preposterous. "You're hurt, you're healing. Nobody claims that any of that is easy." It never was, never would be, and Yujin could only fathom how it truly felt, now that everything had come to light and Richard wasn't running from the truth that had been neatly stashed away at the back of his mind. "I'll be with you, for as long as you need me and beyond that. And if you want me back, no, if you'd take me back, there's nothing else that would make me happier.", the wolf admitted, still holding onto that hand, still trying to make Richard as comfortable as he could possibly be - this was a lot, the past day had been a lot, too.

It should have been easier to navigate this, but by the gods, it wasn't - it never was, and the assumption that it ever would be was a wrong one. Yujin had two options, but he'd very much barred himself from one of them and threw the other out of the window as soon as he saw the chance, realizing that - for better or for worse - he was making himself and Richard believe in a world, in a bubble, that didn't exist, just so they could continue their little relationship that felt right and left the prince dumbfounded; he couldn't and wouldn't know, and yet, he was the one that reached out, that asked and prodded as much as he could, only to find more questions than answers. Being truthful hurt and Yujin willfully chose to omit just that, as it seemed, while being all smiles and even offering himself up to Richard. Knowing that this would go south was one thing, but being barely aware of the lasting damage he did, if Richard were to ever find out, was something entirely else. "Mh.", he mumbled, trying to protest and still holding the feeble form in his arms so very close, it seemed incredibly harsh to assume or even believe that their relationship had ever been of a different nature. Did it matter? No - but maybe time would tell him, for better or for worse.

"It's not yours, either. But we won't gain anything from playing the blame game.", he clarified for both of them and he was right. They were shifting the blame around, blame that neither of them deserved, to put it simply. There wasn't much else to do, though, and while Yujin mused about the many things that they could do, that they were up against soon enough. Caring for Richard was one of the easier things, as long as they were here, and by the looks and sounds of it, neither of them felt any urgency to leave - it was fine by Yujin, who, all things considered, wasn't going to go anywhere, with or without Richard by his side, for as long as his father reigned over the icy cold with what felt like an iron fist - but even that didn't matter. Someone escaped his arms, a hug much needed and words well shared, and even then, Yujin could only smile. "It's fine." It never wouldn't be. It always ways and it always would stay that way. "You ruined nothing, don't worry." Yujin did, by insinuating that yes, he wanted to know more about his past self, more about his relationship with Richard, and by subsequently throwing it all out the window when he realized that the foreboding feeling that was spreading throughout his gut had, very much, been a warning sign. Yujin reached out for him, wiping away tears that formed at the corner of the blondes eyes and seemingly were adamant about accompanying him. "Why wouldn't it be? If it weren't, I wouldn't have allowed it.", he spoke, softly and silently - loud enough for Richard to hear, to get the message across - and yet, silent enough to be overshadowed by something else. Yujin wanted to go back to cuddling, but he wouldn't force Richard, instead, he offered him his sleeve - and his other hand grabbed one of Richards, firmly squeezing it. "Take your time - setting boundaries is alright and I'll be happy to adhere to them. Just being with you would make me happy, actually.", Yujin confirmed, running his thumb alongside the back of Richards hand. "Also, the morning isn't even over yet.", he suddenly pointed out. No, it wasn't, but he was the one that was smiling at Richard with teary eyes now - very happy teary eyes.

Feelings were a complicated mass of contradictions, of the human mind at its finest, and Yujin was but proof of all of those things coming together as one and persisting, despite having all odds stacked against him. There'd be no way out, not an easy one, and he'd already sealed the deal, decided his fate, or whatever it was that one did upon making a decision as profound as the one he'd made - this wasn't about what he'd do today, tomorrow or the day after the fact, but it didn't matter much; he felt happy as was, and that was important, wasn't it? And yet again, Richard was the one that was trying to console him, just because he cried like the idiot he was - and Yujin couldn't help but giggle at the display, even if only a bit. "Do you want me to show you someday?", Yujin asked upon hearing a question most curious. Surely, he'd regain his memories by then and his old self would be able to tell him what had him so hooked on the blonde in the first place, but the Yujin that was holding the reigns now and making decisions for himself was not only smitten by the kitten that basically had been dropped into his lap, he found him - much like his former self - undeniably cute, and he'd die on that hill, too.

"Mh, but you like me too, don't you? Why is that?", he turned the question around, transforming Richards verbal weapon into his own. Stiffled by curiosity or not, Yujin was embracing the fact that Richard was so close, was trying to make him feel comfortable despite all that happened and that he wasn't selfish, not in the least - he thought of himself as such, but frankly, he'd only taken what he was given and had used all that for his own improvement, something Yujin could hardly be mad about, even if he were capable of just that. "I'm happy!", he expressed, all smiles and sunshine, as if the world was about as naive and incapable of seeing the dark truths like Yujin himself seemed to be - smiling was good, no, the best medicine, and if one had nothing much to live for, it suddenly became ones anchor, or much rather the piece of driftwood in a vast, empty sea that someone like him could cling to. Maybe, just maybe, Richard was another piece of driftwood ... no, he was stranded as well, and now that he was back here, that meant that the two of them would be able to conquer their predicaments, together. "You're right about that. So, what will it be? Breakfast in bed or would you like a change of pace?", Yujin inquired, still wiping some tears from the blondes face and allowing Richard to do the same with him, until they both calmed down and the wolf was tugging on Richards hand again. "Rumor has it that you're overthinking - it's fine. You didn't ruin anything, alright? Honestly, being with you was the most fun I had in a while, even if you don't talk much. Just being with you offers me solace."

Silesse never changed and thus, Yujin seemingly never changed either, almost as if he was the living embodiment of a place that was frozen solid, that was so horrendously cold and void of life that, whoever he was, he stood in direct contrast to it and yet, he was very much like it. That, however, was only worth of speculation and Yujin was someone that got stuck in his own thoughts from time to time, confused by all that was said, as well as convinced that nothing he could bring to the table was of any value. Richard changed that - he had done so before, through a variety of actions - and Yujin was the one that happily soaked up all the praise now, the one he hadn't received before, at least verbally, almost like he was a dying plant, finally receiving much-needed water that he could nurture on. "You might be dense sometimes, but you aren't an idiot - and you aren't boring, either!" Not to him. Somebody else would have given up on Richard, sooner or later, and Yujin was happy that he didn't, not only because he felt like this was where he blonged, but also because any effort paid off - the blonde was feeling better already, and Yujin was happy about that, too - and yet, someone else was on his mind. "I'm happy to hear that! And I like your smile!", he soon enough confessed. This was bound to be one busy morning, but it was a nice one nonetheless - and they already got somewhere.

When had he last seen Richard smile? It felt like ... no, he couldn't recall, but at the back of his mind, he heard him laugh in amusement, and now he was wondering if he'd ever heard that or just dreamt of what it was supposed to sound like; he'd find out in due time. "I'm overjoyed ... it's happy tears." That they were, and thus they would be - this was another thing to remember, some sort of breakthrough that the little puppy and his tilted head made even worse on Yujins heart that ached, maybe even longed for the touch of feeble fingers, trying to calm him down by casting aside any tears that they found. Why was he crying, truly? He didn't know and for now, he feared that he'd never do so. "It's decided, then! No more soup for you!", the wolf called out, maybe a tad bit too loud, and yet, he hardly could make these decisions. They didn't fall within his room of jurisdiction, and yet, Richard was doing so much better, was eating on the regular and he was such a sweet, lovely person beneath all those layers of hurt. Yujin felt enticed, but also obligated to protect him - which wound up being something he couldn't tell him, though. Before he could reach out, or squeeze that hand of his some more, Richard was already talking on - on his own no less. "I ... don't think you told me? Whatever would th- AAAHHHH!", he yelled, immediately moving over to giggling as he was tickled, mercilessly at that. Laughing was the best medicine, and Yujin was doing just that - Richards brother was right, this was a surefire way to get rid of tears, or any negative emotions and Yujin was a heaving mess soon enough, gasping for air between his laughter. "Oh you ...!" Now Richard had done it, and Yujin was reaching out for him instead. "Revenge!", the wolf called out, before getting his own fingers on Richard and starting to tickle him - he could have overpowered him, easily at that, but no, this wasn't something he needed to win, this was something they needed to have fun at!

To never go back anywhere else, to anyone else - that was all Yujin desired as of now, and it became so painfully clear that all of this was about as fragile as he'd thought of Richard himself. Yujin felt bad for believing that none of this would work out just now, and he felt bad for lying, too, but he cast aside those worries, now that he was fairly certain that he was the only one that carried them - Richard was not only fine with all that happened, he also seemingly enjoyed himself as was. All that Yujin wanted, handed to him on a silver platter - something he did not deserve and yet, if anything, Richard deserved someone that would keep him company and make him smile until the end of time. Was he the right fit, then? Who knew, but Yujin didn't bother with asking himself any of that, it was too early anyway. "Shh, that comes later! Nobody said anything about leaving the castle just yet!" They were safe here, and if this was the only way they'd be able to do any of this, then Yujin would put up with it - it wasn't like there wasn't anything to do around here, and if he had to bring all the fun there was to Richards room, he might as well be able to cheer him up even more. The blush, too, was just a nice touch - Yujin enjoyed what he saw, it was enough of a reward for any and all efforts he made.

"Is it? I can't help it, the blush suits you, too.", he giggled. Yes, Richard wasn't only cute - but that was something that Yujin liked about him, and as they almost toiled over their shared bed, the wolf had the most stupid of ideas for tonight, which seemed so far away, he didn't even know if he should spring it on Richard in the first place. A change of scenery was always good, and yet, this was where he felt at home, was it not? The noises from below made him blush, but it wasn't anything more than sweet chuckles and giggles, something he'd not heard in what felt like forever - he wasn't even sure if the previous Richard was capable of such noises, and yet, Yujin was asking for more and more, hoping that something would come of it; he continued on, but wasn't merciless about it - and as pleas reached his ears, he stopped. "Alright!" And with that, he took his hands off of Richard, looking down at the blonde that lay there, trying to collect himself. Had his face gotten even redder? No, that was a silly thought, and besides, he was only gasping for air. The wolf grabbed one of the raised hands, wanting to help him sit back up after a while - and found himself stopping before he could tug on anything, anywhere. Now, it was his turn to blush - and blush he definitely did. "I ... uh ... a kiss?", Yujin asked. "I'd love one, if you'd ... give me one?", he dared, grinning slightly, brushing some strands of hair out of the blondes face yet again. This morning wasn't wasted, it was well-spent indeed.

Deserved or undeserved, whatever the case, Yujin was enjoying himself - almost as if he'd fallen in love for the first time, as if he were still a naive and clueless teenager that went about his days without much in mind. His gaze lay on Richard, almost expectantly, to see if the blonde would make the first move or not, if he felt comfortable with it or not, that was all he cared about. As his flushed face came closer and pale, almost treacherously soft lips brushed against his own, pursed to give him a quick kiss and nothing else, he felt his hair stand on end, his stomach tingling and his face heating up, embarrassed over the proposition alone, the one he so desperately had sought before and was hardly keeping up with now. What did he desire? Richard, above all else, as it seemed, but as soon as their little kiss had taken form, it dissipated into nothingness, leaving the prince to yearn for more of Richard on himself, wanting something he couldn't and wouldn't be able to get at any point, and yet, that was something that didn't matter much, either. Why? Because he'd proposed to take it slow beforehand, and by now, he was mesmerized by the many things he couldn't have, despite desiring them.

Perhaps he was misguided into giving himself permission, into seeking something that, by all accounts, simply wasn't where he thought it'd be, but Yujin didn't want to leave now, or let go for that matter - and he didn't want to think about the possibility of losing it all, just because his head was turning and his decisions changing, as his mind had a different approach of all the things that he wanted from Richard, or desired of him. Without putting much thought into it, he chased after Richards lips, plastering an impish peck upon those lips of his, a shortlived one, but one that he felt like he needed to confer upon the blonde, before shying away himself. His grin, too, had faded, but he still wore a pleased expression on his face - and took his time to remove himself from the situation, letting Richard lay where he was and basking in the glory of the moment, if only for a bit. That had been a nice reward, actually, and yet he knew that asking for more was, aside from futile, probably not something that he needed - or that Richard was okay with. "I hope that wasn't too much.", he informed his bedmate, somewhat apologetic over the actions he had undertaken to further his own selfish gains. Then, he shook his head, patting Richards head. "I'll go get something to eat, yes?", the wolf simply spoke, just before getting up - normally, he could have actually gone to get something, but he flagged down a servant instead, asked for food and water, and send him off on his merry way. Sometime after, all of that arrived and Yujin took it upon himself to bring the two bowls and the water pitcher back to bed, on which he sat down eventually. For once, he hoped it wouldn't be soup - but it was, though, if he looked closely, both of them had dumplings this time, instead of just one of them. "Oh, look!"

Soup or no soup, that hardly was the question at hand in the first place. Sometimes, Yujin was too much of an idiot to properly comprehend anything and in this case, he'd made a bunch of mistakes, many more than he should have. Did it matter? Not necessarily, or really at that - they both went well together, at least in his very own eyes, and if given the chanc, Yujin would very much prefer to elope with Richard instead of Yin, who was, despite all her efforts, nothing short of an annoying brat that the wolf couldn't quite sort into a category. Did he like her? Hardly, but there was nothing he'd hate her for and now, as all things stood, he sat here, on a soft bed, with someone he clearly adored, and was not only sharing profound memories with, but also some soup that probably was going to last them for another few weeks, if all went on the same way it had transpired before. "I'm glad, I ... might have been a bit too rash, but ...I did like that, very much.", he confessed shortly thereafter, still slightly blushing at the thought alone. Was his previous self like this? Richard knew, remembered, but Yujin felt wrong for considered to prod even more, for invoking memories of someone from the past that, maybe, would never be like those memories painted him

A few things were still in the early stages, however, and one of them was figuring out Richard and his inability to use, or maybe even his fight with chopsticks. It made no sense, now that he thought about it, but all that aside, it was somewhat funny to watch - he tried, at the very least, and while Yujin could have made it easier for him by just showing him the ropes, he caved in soon enough, picking up one of his own dumplings with his chopsticks and feeding it to Richard, before allowing himself one, too. "Alright, alright - good to know you want to be fed.", he chuckled. This went on for a while, and it was cute to watch, but at some point, those dumplings - both his own and Richards, too - were gone, and all that remained was some broth that Yujin drank down in almost one go. He knew that the blonde wasn't always as hungry as he could be, and maybe he worked against him to trick him into eating more by evenly sharing their food right now - which definitely had a skewed balance before - but as long as Richard didn't notice and his body didn't hate him for having something else than lukewarm gloop, Yujin was all for playing both him and his mind - at least when it came to food. Then again, they had a bit of a schedule to uphold and while he did dress Richard somewhat properly, fixing both the braid in his hair and his clothing in the process, he soon enough grabbed his hand as he leaned against the door, only to open it up and take Richard with him. "I was thinking ... would you like to sleep in my room tonight?", he mumbled - he knew nobody would understand them anyway. "We don't have to rush, I just thought that, maybe, you might want a change of scenery?"