bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

"Hmm, sounds like that's been a while. How did it go, something about a blonde demon that will come and whisk you away at night if you don't eat your vegetables? It's incredibly silly." But it also persisted like some sort of godforsaken rumor in Silesse, just for the fun of it of course, but that was it, there wasn't anything else to it and as outrageous as it might have been, it was just something to scare children with in hindsight. But that was that. "I didn't mean that, though. There's other thrians, like you - they all share one thing, and that's pretty much having two nationalities and two different parents. That doesn't mean you have to denounce yourself, though.", he clarified and Yujin hoped that he'd get the message across, even if Richard didn't seem to be particularly upset about it right now. Had he been in the past? There was no way of telling without asking a journal that served as his memory, but even then, the entries seemed short, if anything, and not like something that Yujin could always ask - maybe Richard wanted him to remember as much as he himself did, and while something like this was plenty useful, he didn't want it to become the singular thing that kept himself and all that he didn't want to forget afloat. "Does it ... hurt?", he asked, as stupid as it was, before sighing. "I mean, not like, constantly. I phrased that bad, but, did it hurt recently? How does it hurt?", he then questioned.

If that was too much, Richard didn't have to answer and while Yujin enjoyed talking to him, his replies grew less frequent - something Yujin could only blame himself for, after all, now that he wasn't making much of an effort to lead a conversation, but that didn't suffice, it shouldn't, even if Richard needed to rest, he liked hearing his voice, though, constant praise wouldn't help. "You told me because I asked before ... was I nosy?" That was all that kept their conversation afloat, and yet, he much rather heard it from Richard than to ask himself, his past self, contained on pages of torn and smudged paper, long gone and whisked away by the icy breezes of Silesse. What an ugly fate that was, but not an unfathomable one - and definitely none that was unthinkable. He'd only have to stop taking his medication and pester Muhan about a heart, human or not, forever trapped in the icy floes of Silesse - and then, Yujin did remember something else. "You know, a heart symbolizes a few things. I don't know if we went over those, but in Silesse, nothing rots - that's why we burn the dead, and it's mostly the same for a lot of Thria, too. Not burning someone is an exception. With a heart trapped in an icy grave, that would either mean that you want something to remember them by, to force them to stay and never be free of their mortal toiling, or ... it's symbolic for someone that died, in some way." And given the fact that Richard had mentioned a silessian crest, Yujin had an idea right about now, one he didn't spell out - it was too much and the topic at hand was already a sour one, for both of them at that. Finding jokes in his dairy wasn't going to suffice, and yet, he went through all of the pages until he found the last entry, not bothering to read the rest. Oddly enough, he'd stopped writing at some point, but the last page was painful enough to make him close the book two sentences in. "Did anything help with your nightmares, even if only a bit?", he then asked. "I feel like I'm back where I used to be: Figuring out how to get rid of them ... hm. Oh! No, wait ... Shuren will yell at me if I just take you somewhere."

Richard wasn't a demon either and it was save to assume that none of them existed; they were nothing more than the villains of childrens stories, ripe with some sort of scary element that would make the child in question do whatever their parents had asked of them initially, and Yujin wasn't one to ask too much of anyone - he probably had heard the same silly stories in his own childhood and promptly decided that he was, if anything, trying his best to make sense of all the things that were thrown at him, shorty before abandoning them to go do as he was told, lest he'd be sought out by whatever mythical creature that hungered for children that night. "Yes, but that's besides the point. You're as much of a thrian as anyone else, it's not about how much of our blood runs through your veins or how you relate to this land - you're one of us, always have been, always will be. Nobody can denounce that." Surely, some of the older generations weren't as open, but his own parents already had told him that even their parents weren't against the idea of inviting someone into their lands, of letting them live in unison with them - as long as they did their part and didn't forcibly invade. A child of both adrestian and thrian heritage, no matter its social standing, wasn't anything out of the ordinary anyway. "I'm glad. This is, uh, stupid because you told me, but ... in case it acts up, what's the best course of action for me to take?"

Being sure about something was the only thing he could do from here on out, and if they went through with their little experiment, Yujin was sure he'd at least retain something and that gave him some sort of odd hope that all the advice he received from Richard, especially on how to handle himself, wouldn't be in vain this time around. "Does it happen because of anything in particular? Like, stress or something?", he then asked, but if it was a condition Richard had since birth, it was only something they could narrow down but wouldn't be able to discern without concrete evidence. "Same with the scar on your neck, then, I assume?", Yujin asked once more and he probably was right. All he was able to recall was him, scrambling to figure something out about Richard, and yet, now that he had all of the information readily available to him, it was stuck in the back of his mind, unable to be accessed by Yujin and nowhere near easy to grasp. Then, Yujin mulled about it for a bit. "Hm, my fathers and siblings are fine, yes. My grandfather and my uncles are someone that I never met, at least on Shurens side, but that isn't much of a big deal - and I hardly talk to Muhans side of the family, so yes, I guess they're all very much alive. Maybe ... it's really just some sort of odd traditional thing and not actually the grave of anyone." He wouldn't be surprised at this point, but for now, he squeezed Richards hand back and gave him a smile, before listening to whatever else his little bird had to sing about. "... Smoking? I dragged you to the den?", Yujin asked, sheepishly, almost as if he wasn't dragging everyone there - but that meant, Richard knew his friends, and it probably also meant that ... The prince suddenly blushed profusely, all the while shaking his head. No, he was engaged for ages now, that hadn't happened. Not in a million years. "I do have a pipe here, if you want to ... wait, we did that before. But not in this room ... but ... no, nevermind. Would you want to try some, then?"

Was he obsessed with keeping Richard save, or was it just that he felt like he owed the blonde, regardless of the fact that yes, maybe the blonde owed him? Yujin smiled about it, like the idiot he was, but while he hated being indebted to someone, he also wanted Richard to feel welcome where he was, even if he looked so vastly different from everyone else he met. Birds of the same feather flocked together and in a sense, the two of them were just that - it was a crude way to put it, but an effective one at that. "I'll keep that in mind. And don't worry, I won't let you get hurt again, I promised you that." Yujin was willing to uphold that vow, but that also meant that he - if anything - would have to come clean to Richard, but not tonight. There was enough turmoil already and the wolf was fairly certain that it would only hurt both of them to talk about something like his wedding, something that would eventually turn out to be something that neither of them wanted, aside from Yin, who nobody accounted for anyway - she wasn't part of this equation. "Mhm, so back to bed for you it is. That ... makes sense? Especially if it concerns your heart. Maybe I should write that down, or ... no, forget that. I probably have done that. I'll remember that, Richard.", Yujin spoke, sounding convicted enough. The following sentences didn't make sense and they didn't help either - Richard came clean about his condition as it seemed, and Yujin listened, trying his best to make an earnest effort at understanding, but, in one way or the other, said condition still seemed to be mystery to him.

"Hm, so it might get triggered by stress, but it can happen whenever? It's a crude suggestion, but ... maybe Shuren can help?", the wolf suggested, and it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Sure, something had been wrong with Richard for a long time, and curing it was probably a long shot, but maybe Shuren could make it more bearable - if anyone in Thria could figure it out, hell, anyone on this entire damn continent, most likely, then it was Shuren, Yujin was sure of that. "You don't have to, it's just a suggestion - and considering what we talked about, it might not be the best one, but ... if anyone has a remedy, it's hime." And that wasn't wrong. The truth loomed over them, and the one that had the key to it was his old man, which he loathed depending on, more and more. "I do, I always will.", he assured Richard, but that was a story he already knew. Yujin still lost his smile for a second, and he knew that he was sorry, but Richard had heard it a thousand times. "I apologize, I shouldn't keep digging. But, as I said, I'm glad you're safe now. And I'll keep it that way. No harm shall befall you ever again." That sounded cheesy, almost as if Yujin was some knight in shining armor, making a beeline for his prince that he wanted to whisk away and waltz off into the horizon with - those were his genuine feelings, however. "Yes, you're right. Something's fishy, but I'll ask Muhan tomorrow ... come to think of it, want to join us for sparring? You don't have to participate and we'll be in the courtyard. There's nobody passing through their, it'd just be the three of us. And you'd catch some sunlight and fresh air, I heard those do wonders." And if not, they could always move someplace else indoors - but who knew, maybe it was enough of an incentive for Richard. "Huh? Oh, no need to look at me like that, I just remembered something embarrassing, I think. Uh, are you sure you don't want any? I'd be happy to provide you with some good nights sleep, but maybe you're right. Either way, the choice is yours!", the wolf beamed with a grin, getting rid of those furrowed brows and squeezing Richards hand a bit. This was getting harder and harder to keep up with.

Inquisitive was one way to describe Richard, that much was for sure, and Yujin commanded him for it - it was hard to put his trust into someone, Yujin was sure of that, but it also was hard to put up with someone like him, a complete idiot at that, and even just the thought alone was something worth losing his mind over. Was it important, though? He'd figure it out, whatever that'd be sooner or later, and all Richard needed to do was trust him, for various reasons they had already clarified. "Mh, thank you. I'm glad you do." And he meant it, he truly was. There was no way of knowing whatever or not Richard would be by his side forever, and yet, Yujin wanted to believe that yes, this wasn't going to end one way, but rather the other - this would go well, almost as if for once, the gods gave both of them a well-deserved break. But was it that, truly? No, it seemed stupid to believe something like that. "Mhm, they might have. Maybe they didn't. Only one way to figure that out, however.", he beamed, and he was right. What if, for some odd reason, they hadn't? That would mean that it was up to them to figure it out for Richard, and asking Shuren wuldn't hurt, but maybe it would shed light on the situation itself.

"That's good, but it's also good if someone takes a look, right?" It never hurt, even if the result was the same, and it couldn't hurt to figure it out for either of them, especially if that meant that maybe, just maybe, Shuren would grant them their selfish wish of ... what, exactly? Wasn't Yujin the one that wished to keep the blonde close, that wanted him to go nowhere else and yet couldn't make up his mind on whatever or not he was truly in the right to do so? Thinking about it didn't help, he felt awful just thinking about it - he knew that it didn't help either of them, and he also knew that he was only harming both of them when doing so. "Yes, but you don't have to overexert yourself. Starting somewhere is the right step, though - but there's no need to rush either. Once you feel better, we can try, how's that sound?", he suggested, chuckling as usual once more. Nothing would change about the way he behaved, it never did, but it also seemed to be obvious that yes, Yujin was losing himself or had lost himself much prior to that, and whoever he was now, maybe wasn't who he had been in the first place - maybe their little experiment backfired. "Good! Do you want to bring a book, or some cards, or something like that? Or just watch?" Almost unprompted, he then rolled up the leg of one of his pants, showing Richard the newly formed scab at his knee, seemingly proud about it and some blue spots. "I'm still learning, but I have things to show for my effort!" He was still learning, he always would be. Muhan was a formidable opponent at that, and Richard was right about what he said. "Mh, you're right. Some other time, then. Or we can ask, maybe Shuren can tell us ... that aside, I have another silly question." It had just dawned upon him, however. "You weren't staying here before ... do you miss your own room?" Did he miss the hut?

There were plenty of things that Yujin wanted to confirm and ask about, plenty of things he had forgotten and wanted to get back in order, but the longer he lingered on any of them, the more obvious it became that maybe, he should leave it at that for tonight and that maybe, he was overdoing it right now. Surely, Richard was getting tired and was too polite to tell Yujin that, but he also knew that - next to an endless stream of questions - they had both opened some sort of endless well, stumbling deeper and deeper into unknown depths from here on out. It might be best to give it a night, to sleep over the newfound realizations, and while he couldn't stop grinning, he was also painfully aware that that was that - and it wouldn't be anything else from then on out. "Mhm, I don't see why not. It might be a bit uncomfortable to hunch over yourself while writing, but there's no reason why you wouldn't be able to.", he elaborated for Richard. Sadly, there were no tables or anything else like that out there, but there needn't be - it was already nice enough that Richard was joining them, hell, it was already good to hear that yes, his fellow wolf would be willing to leave his room, even if only for an hour or two, to soak up what he was missing out on if he stayed in here all the time.

Soon enough, he let go of his pant leg and he wondered if Richard had liked seeing that, or if it reminded him of something else, something that was better left behind in the past, and Yujin felt bad all of a sudden. "Sorry.", he mumbled and hid the bruises again - they didn't hurt, not for now, given the fact that his painkillers took all of that out before it even became an issue to begin with, but it was still not the right course of action. Richard had probably looked so much worse, and the thought alone made Yujins stomach turn. He felt awful now, his throat dry and his eyes hurt again, almost as if he was close to crying over something so silly ... that reminded him of something, and it sounded stupid too, stupid enough for him to scoff in annoyance. Did he really cry about that? He was unbelievable! It had been a can of tea! "Ugh, I just remembered something. Did I cry about a can of tea that I messed up?", he asked Richard, but he wasn't sure, and to be honest, he didn't want to think about that - somehow, it upset him enough already, but he shook that feeling off, too. There was a tidbit of silence soon after, only for the wolf to then move his mouth again. "Not even if I go there with you? We don't have to stay, but maybe you'd like to ... no, you're right. We have plenty of time, you should rest first - it's not like the hut is going to disappear, and small steps are good steps." Healing took time, Yujin knew as much, but it would take plenty of time for Richard, it seemed - it was better to stay away from a hut that he'd shared with his father, then, just to make sure. "Mh, I'm tired, what about you?" Sleep sounded good.

Revelation after revelation settled in today, and Yujin was seemingly more aware of himself than ever before - it was odd, maybe even unbelievably hard to go back on all the things he'd ever said and find something that suited him, or that made sense for him; it didn't help that yes, he was aware that he'd made one mistake after the other, but also that he wasn't doing good work from start to finish, like he was initially presuming. Richard still kept close, came so close that Yujin felt like the skin contact that they both would share, were it not for the layers of clothing between them, would eventually glue them together - but not only that, he also knew that yes, this wasn't something he'd normally do with anyone else, but it was fine. Holding onto someone was important, especially after losing someone else, and Yujin had promised to be there for Richard - which was why he quickly put everything away together with him, before getting comfortable himself and letting Richard come close. "Never let me cook up tea again, then.", he chuckled, in an effort to lighten the mood. That might help, though, he also knew that the blonde was right with everything that he said - so right, it almost hurt Yujin. "Mh, even if, it'd be fine - but this, right here, is more comfortable, isn't it?" It was, for more reasons than one.

Yujin let Richard do what he wanted, hugging him in turn, once the blonde was comfortable, and stroking over either his hair or his back to assure him that yes, the wolf was fairly awake himself, still, and he wasn't all alone - almost as if falling asleep implied that yes, the wolf was gone and unavailable for Richard, and he truly was alone in this icy prison for the rest of the night. "Sleep well, Richard.", he mumbled, and then the waiting game began. The moment the blondes breathing got more shallow and he seemed to relax in his arms, Yujin started to close his eyes for real, dozing off in the process afterward, and while he often couldn't say that sleeping next to the blonde was the most relaxing experience, by now, he was used to it - and even if it woke him up, he was there to try and calm him down, before slipping back into the dreamland that they both should be a part of. The nightmares weren't fair, and Richard seemingly never had a good night, yet, even when Yujin awoke in the morning, he didn't make much effort to wake his bedmate, as long as he lay there, almost relaxed, and not tossing and turning yet - if that was the case, he tried to reassure him that everything was fine and he could wake up now, but ... this morning was oddly comfortable, even after a dreamless night, at the very least for Yujin. Once he awoke, however, he wasn't greeted by the usual, aggressive sunbeams - it seemed to be fairly early still, and the sky had an odd hue: Lilac, with a fair share of clouds reflecting an almost pink hue. Hm, what an odd one, wasn't it? But a beautiful one at that. "Look, sleepyhead."

Today would be a much busier day than it usually was, but Yujin didn't need to spell that out - both Richard and him were fairly aware of the circumstances, as well as they were somewhat clear on what they had agreed on. Richard was to accompany him today, and Yujin was to stay away from his medication that, by all accounts, was nothing more than a pain in the ass to keep track of anyway. Initially, he'd considered bringing it to Richards room to keep track of how much he'd taken and to not be bound to it when he had to leave for like, who knew how long and let Richard sit around on his own, just to take a bag of powdery substance with some water. In the end, none of that would help either of them and Yujin did feel better, his mind felt clearer - and keeping it out of Richards range was a good idea, too, lest he'd accidentally mix it with his own bunch of medicine. Come to think of it ... he took that on the regular, and he was recovering very well, maybe it was time to switch it up? No, that was silly, and Shuren was the one that presided over any of these decisions in the first place. Yujin was here to cuddle closer to Richard, like now, when he was looking at the morning sky that they slept away so often and hardly ever paid attention to since the blonde came here.

The wolf would have sold his soul to the devil if that meant that Richard would get some definite shuteye and it would ease his mind, but none of that was real and the truth was far from ideal. Both of them were stuck in a hellscape of their own, undermined by the fact that neither of them was truly able to help the other, but they were making efforts, many at that, and trying their best to keep in line with all of it. Yujin couldn't help but wonder, his eyes resting on Richard now, who seemed to be mesmerized by the colors he saw - by the sky that painted such a stark contrast to all that Silesse was and all the blue and white colors it could sport. It felt silly, considering he mostly wore blue himself, and for a moment, Yujin considered that - if his eyes would stand out for being just that, he might as well wear different clothing - but that wasn't important, for now, he was happy to just rest with Richard and watch him, then the sky, until the sun would rise and whisk it all away. After what felt like endless silence, the clouds moving and the colors shifting but slightly, he was cuddling up to Richard, nuzzling his head against the blondes neck. "Do you want some breakfast? Or a bath?", he asked, knowing fully well that they could take their time. Muhan might be up and running, but why waste a perfectly fine, beautiful morning with something like training? "Oh, good morning.", he added in hindsight, even if he knew that mornings, sometimes, were the hardest part for both of them, but it didn't matter - not when he was the one that pressed his, presumably cold, nose against Richards neck like the idiot he was.

Things of importance had very little meaning to both him and Richard, as it seemed, especially when they spend their time together like this. Yujin liked being close to him, so much so that it didn't feel awkward in the slightest, and for a moment he wondered if it was too much, if he'd overstepped thrian boundaries at this point as well, and yet, there was no way of knowing unless he put his mind to it and actually would figure it out. The soft morning light didn't cast deep shadows, but the lilac hue left behind a nice glow all around, and now that Richard turned to face him, Yujin found himself chuckling in amusement, as if he'd only waited for him to take his eyes off of the scenery and face the man that was hellbent on keeping him occupied and away from his dark thoughts instead. "Yes, but maybe you want one now?" Washing up didn't hurt and Yujin very much prefered to start his day that way, but it was silly to consider - he had a wash yesterday and he hadn't done much since, and besides, cuddling with Richard was nice in itself - and runing the moment wasn't something he'd set out to do in the first place.

As the glow would dissipate, maybe he'd feel more motivated to crawl out of bed, and yet, instead, he stared in a face with rosy cheeks and brown doe eyes, almost as if he'd said or done something, anything embarrassing that was keeping both of them on their feet. Had he? Yujin wasn't sure, and he grinned instead. "So breakfast? Later?", he reiterated, making clear that neither of them had to get up anytime soon and that it wasn't his intention to shoo them out of bed anytime soon. His hand, however, reached out for Richards face, cupping it gently, before running his thumb over the blondes cheek - he looked tired, he always would and always had for as long as they knew one another, and yet, it seemingly got better already, if only because Richard had finally taken a liking to eating again, or much rather forced him to be something aside from a raging corpse that lived purely on spite from then on out. There was no need to ask if he'd slept well, however - not asking was some sort of silent agreement they'd made, at some point, and Yujin shied away from the question often enough. "Cat got your tongue?", the wolf wondered, aloud this time, obviously out to tease Richard, before giggling almost silently. "I like the face you're making."

"Why wouldn't I? But there's no need to rush.", Yujin assured Richard. They did just about anything together at this point and it would be a lie to claim that yes, Yujin wasn't smitten with Richard - the blonde had wormed himself into his heart, if only by a small margin, but not on a small scale. Why did he miss the blonde? Wasn't it silly to consider them something like friends when he'd only ... no, he was overstepping boundaries right then and there and only looking for excuses to, very much, jump the gun and force something onto Richard that neither him or the blonde wanted - or did they? He'd always been indecisive, but it got even worse now, now that he had some hangups about whatever or not he knew what Richard wanted from him or not. There was an arguable moment of silence, and Yujin could only chuckle away at the faces that his bedmate made. "You're cute.", he suddenly blurted out, and for some reason, he recalled that Richard hadn't liked hearing that once during their past fiasco with one another - he had definitely tried to tell him that before, hadn't he? But now, all of this was different, especially with their gorgeous backdrop, and yet, Yujin only had eyes for Richard, all of a sudden.

Figuring out what it was that either of them wanted usually gave both of them a hard time - Yujin wanted to be out and about, to see everything he normally wouldn't, and yet, there was no chance in hell that Richard would join and indulge him, and the wolf accepted that at face value. If he felt safe here and nowhere else, then it would have to be that way - and Yujin wasn't one to actually put himself above others, it was wrong to do so, especially when there was a variety of things that he had yet to learn. The face, the one he was still running his thumb over, caressing in utmost silence, seemed to blush profusely at this point and Yujin couldn't help but smile - he was either dense or ignored any cue on purpose, but it didn't matter much, he soon came closer regardless, pressing both their foreheads and noses together. This was, admittedly, a bit much, even for someone like him. "No need to rush.", he mumbled, pulling Richard even closer after noticing the blondes own effort to do the same. Was that what Richard wanted all this time? There was a variety of questions, all forming at the back of his mind, and yet, he didn't dare ask a single one of them, closing his eyes for a minute or two, trying to sort those treacherous thoughts of his. "Did we ... do something like this before?", he questioned instead, trying to play it safe. Yujin didn't know why, but this felt like the right thing to do, even if it greatly embarrassed Richard, as it seemed.

Normally, all of this would be nothing but teasing - Yujin was good at it, good at making jokes and leaving people embarrassed, wanting more of a sample that they'd never get anything of, but this was different. Swallowing the bitter pill of realization was one thing, but now that he'd come so far, now that he'd made the leap and wondered if Richard was up for something more, his own stomach felt like some sort of stone was sinking into it. Even if this was what they'd done before, Yujin couldn't - he'd be deluding himself and Richard, lying to both of them and acting like Yin didn't exist - that wouldn't help anyones cause. Now, however, he felt like his fiancée was like a threat, looming over them and wanting to be acknowledged for merely existing, and Yujin didn't feel up to the task, in fact, she was someone that Richard shouldn't worry about ever again - if he ever did. "So we did?", he repeated, listening to the strained, shortlived reply he got. Richard was embarrassed, it was all over his face and Yujin was sure that, if he could see more of his body, of his skin, it would be flushed pink, too, and give him some sort of indication just how close they'd gotten before. The thought was silly, and Yujin was grinning like an idiot for a second.

This felt more than cozy, more than welcome, and Yujin felt warm like this - more than usual. It didn't help that a faint redness had crept onto his own face and that his throat felt dry while his own heart was thrumming against his ribcage. Something felt like it crawled down his back, the shudder that it send through his body feeling more than welcome. Yujin felt ... fine, actually, if a bit worked up about what he felt and heard, about the fact that swallowing became incredibly hard and that his own eyes, while not dry or watery, didn't move anywhere - they were glued to Richard, who seemed so very indecisive about what was happening. No. They should have gone for breakfast. Fuck. The hand that wasn't currently busy with keeping the blonde close, the one on his cheek, moved to grab one of the blondes own, bringing it up from where it had held onto the other, all the way to his mouth. "You? Go on.", he implored Richard, and he wasn't even sure if he was doing the right thing here, if it was within his rights to exact his own feelings above those of Richard, or if he was welcome to try and keep a somewhat straight face while barrelling through old emotions without memories attached to them. Was it awkward? Not in the slightest, but maybe this wasn't what Richard wanted ... but, then ... "Did we do more than that?", he tried to get out of the blonde, holding onto the hand he'd grabbed, almost as if he needed an alibi. Now that it was so close to his face however, so close to both Richard and him, he tentatively pressed a shortlived kiss against the back of said hand - if anything, this could still be a gesture of good will.