bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

They went and went, further and further and further, just so that they could see the place that he almost got murdered at and then pass it like it was the most normal thing to do - a trip like any other, just with a little bit of oddity, added into the mix of it all. Yujin wasn't quite sure why he ever agreed to that, but by now, it was too late to ditch the idea and he had to pull through, if he wanted to or not, he wasn't going to give Richard the satisfaction - or disappointment - of himself being like a little kid, unable to fend for himself or stand his ground and therefore, he just wanted to get there as fast as possible and get over it all. How bad could it be? All of those thoughts had not crossed his mind once, he had to admit that no matter what, he only had himself to blame for now, especially when he didn't even know the culprits behind the act - but it still was stupid. As they went, he wondered if he'd ever catch up to the blonde, but he never did, not once, not when the dead tree came into sight and not when the snow reflected a reality that wasn't there - he just cought up to him when he had already lost. Yujin wasn't a sore loser, which was why he came as close as he could and patted the blonde on his back, as if to signify that he did a good job. "So, what do you want as a reward? Your pick."

In the end, it was only fair that Richard got a reward to, especially after yesterday and the whole mess they had made of their makeshift cave - for some reason, he was glad that nobody was closeby and hurt them, or else he would have probably lost his mind for one reason or the other. Whatever did it matter? They'd just do what they wanted to do, it didn't matter if they shared camp with others or not, at least Yujin thought so - it hadn't stopped them from doing anything at the castle or in the hut anyway. "The cave is down there", the wolf answered, then loomed over the edge that he got closer too - it was a steep hill they were theoretically standing on, even though it was just icefloes that over the years, had shoved themselves atop one another, or so his theory. But where was the cave? Were they on the wrong side? Not only did Yujin have no idea, he also spotted something he couldn't quite discern from up here. "See that wooden pile sticking out of the snow? The cave should be across of it, it might be snowed in ever so slightly, but that's just the entrance." It wasn't exactly a satisfying conclusion, but instead, he got off of his horse and tied her to a tree. "We should leave them up here, it's more of a hassle to bring them down and back up again."

"I insist. You don't have to tell me immediately if you need some time to come up with something you want." It could be anything and after all, he had gotten so much more than he had asked for too, it was only fair if Richard got something in return - even without a definite prize for the bet, they had still placed one and now, the winner was going to get something - as silly as it sounded, the blonded deserved a price, whatever he wanted to realize that or not, Yujin wasn't just going to let it slide and act like he had not just lost this race of theirs. But what came after that? There were many things that came to mind, many things he could think about, but none of them were quite satsifying to him just yet and every thought he might have had in that regard was just one step away from him, overstepping his boundaries and skimming down a line that he didn't want to. "That thing over there", he pointed out once more, but it wasn't exactly a pile, it was more like an uneven stick in a mass of white, sticking out from beneath and barely visible - for all he could see, it also could just be a felled tree branch that was being buried by the endless mass of snow that accumulated down there. This was ... something, wasn' it?

"Yes, but there shouldn't be any down there - it just seems impractical for them and for us, besides, finding wild animals out here is ... still unlikely. They rather skirt Silesse itself than anything out here, where there's barely any nourishment." Some of them stuck to the isolation, but others circled in on settlements and were a real pest to get rid of, once they thought they owned the place, even if only partially. Whatever the case, it didn't matter much, instead, he dug out the blankets for their horses and neatly put one of them on his own. "We still have plenty of time to go down there, then up here and explore a bit further if we want, and then there's still some light left before we have to set up camp. In the end, it doesn't matter where we go - I just have to pass the cave and that'd be the furthest I've ever went, but if I want answers, I need to go down there", Yujin elaborated, before grabbing his bow and arrows, just in case, and checking if the knife he'd been given was still where he had put it in all those layers of clothing. The valley wasn't anything that somebody would find out of the ordinary, yet it didn't make a good hiding spot and still, it would be a nice place for a settlement. "I guess if we sit ourselves on our asses, we can just slide down? It's mostly snow, not ice."

Richard would decline until hell froze over, but it only so happened that Silesse came pretty close to hell and was always white, frigid and a force to be reckoned with. It felt like an indefinite fever dream, a place of something that he couldn't quite describe and yet he stood there, accepting it as his homeland. Were the people of Jehanna any better? Yujin wasn't sure, but theoretically, the wolves' queen ruled from there and that made Nayantai one of Jehanna as well - even if that was weird. Not because Richards old man didn't deserve a title, but rather because those places weren't actually places before, they were tribes, of a certain place, in a certain area - but Jehanna wouldn't stop being Jehanna now if its people moved, much like Silesse would always be Silesse, even when its people moved. "They should be, the chances of being eaten out here are slim anyway and to be frank, they don't give off the smell of blood and mangled flesh just yet. If I was a hunter, I'd not consider them prey." But animals weren't human, just as sheep didn't think wolves were during the war they had sparked and it all came crashing down in nobodies favor. The victor was still an army of mixed individuals, one that hadn't even existed when the war had been ignited and all in all, it had turned into quite the mess, hadn't it?

"I might as well look for some while I'm out here and overstepping any boundary I've ever had." Shuren had made it clear that this place was off-limits, that there wasn't much to be gained from digging into anyones past, but that almost felt like it was just a statement to get his own son to stop asking about his fathers, to have him focus on something that was far from what they'd call the truth, or a definite reality. The silence was almost bewitching, sort of at least and what followed after that was a trail of smoke, something not quite right just yet, but his attention was refocused on the blonde once more. "You do? Guess you're the brains and brawn of this", Yujin mumbled. Richard would protect him, then he'd figure out something as silly as this and Yujin grabbed the remaining belongings, unsure if he wanted to set up camp down there in the first place. "Sounds unlikely, but we'll not know until I can figure out something. Maybe being where it was will help." His eyes trailed after what the blonde was doing, focused on the idea he had and there it was, a way for them to climb down and back up if needed. This was smart and much better than the actual idea he'd had before, but it was just one way of getting down there. Once the blonde had reached the bottom, the wolf himself shouldered his own belongings and went down there after him - with the rope, instead of sliding down like he'd announced. It wasn't a long way, not like this, but he did reach the bottom of the hill eventually, let go of the rope and squinted. Nothing but vast, white snow and some wooden structure, sticking out beneath all of that. He didn't stop, instead, he squinted and looked for something - the cave he'd mentioned earlier. Where was it? "Over there, see that?"

"Whatever pops into my head should be useful, otherwise it would just feel like a definite waste to come here", Yujin sighed, knowing that the chances of remembering were quite slim, they always had been and any quack that called himself a doctor could see that. What had happened to him anyway? He had lived the best of his life, seemingly at least and now that he actually found himself trying to search for the things that he was missing, the things that he couldn't figure out on his own, he was at a crossroads, and impasse, gaining nothing from every silly step he took, whatever it was in the right or a wrong direction, it didn't matter and Yujin loathed himself for it, more than he wanted to. "Feeling my way around and just looking at my surroundings would be a good starting point", he proposed to Richard. Surely, there wasn't much to be gained from a few flimsy memories that marely made sense as they were, but he could at least try to figure it out for himself - even if it sounded silly and even if it was silly, there was nothing to satisfy, no hunger, no thoughts, nothing at all and none of that was going to amass into a pitchblack mass of anything if he kept going like this. Instead, he found himself waddling through thick snow, snow that never had been this high, or at least he didn't recall it being like that.

"Sounds like a plan", he concluded and went to the only waypoint they had - this was something that Yujin didn't remember, not from one of his ventures out here, but he'd never gone far and it was ridiculous that he did now, all of a sudden, when nothing and everything made sense at the same time. Lugging all of this stuff around was stupid, as well as the blinding effects that the reflective pieces of ice had, once they formed atop a pile of snow - but it all would be dealt with in due time, that much was apparent. Once Yujin had reached his goal, the temporary one at least, he extended his hand toward it - he wanted to know why it was like that, what brought himself in a situation like this and why none of this was making sense, but he only covered said hand in his sleeve and started wiping of the snow that had piled up atop of it. "This just looks odd, who goes out of their way to place something like this here?", the wolf wanted to know, asking himself, not Richard, but he had voiced that thought either way. However, as soon as he rid himself of the snow, he had uncovered a tilted cross, made of wood and hastily pierced into the snow beneath. It was rid of any inscription, or rather, there was something there he couldn't discern, but it just was odd. "What on earth ...", he grumbled, before taking a closer look. Thrians didn't do this kind of stuff, they burnt their relatives and scattered their ashes, freed them from the mortal coil of it all and let them be. The only reason to actually give anyone a grave out here was ... well, it could be two things. "Is this some sort of death valley or what on earth is this?"

"And now I stole it from you", the wolf answered, but that wasn't exactly what he meant, not at all at least. "I wouldn't call your company a waste, but defying my father would be one if we come out here just to uncover nothing special to begin with." None of his memories, nothing, not even a piece of information that could give him something to remember anything, but then again, they stood in front of a cross in goddamn nowhere, covered in snow, frigid and barren as this land would always be and he wondered if the snow out here ever melted, or if they just dug all of their relatives icy coffins when they didn't burn them, which ... didn't happen often either. "That's not it. I go here, get injured and mangled and between then and now, there is a cross here, which means somebody else shared my fate in a less fortunate way. Silesse isn't prone to violence and murder, you know? There isn't much out there and if you commit one atrocity, you'll be victim of the next." Rules were just guidelines, not set in stone and definitely nothing to even get worked up about - therefore, it only followed that something was wrong, incredibly wrong. Whatever the case, whatever the weird feeling he'd experienced ealrier, he just felt nauseated now and the cross didn't make much sense. Why put up one out here? Who would be as stupid as that? "Even if the person fell and died, lets assume from up there, why would anyone even care to come down here, bury them and then struggle to find a way out themselves? That seems idealistic at best", he concluded and brushed against the wooden surface of that cross. There wasn't much here to begin with, just that, but the cave was around here somewhere as well - but where? It almost became an afterthought, now that he found himself mesmerized by some piece of woods.

"I'm not remembering anything, I'm remembering that this cross hasn't been here before, but it looks dated, then again, snow and ice can do that and we concluded memories can be faulty too. It's just uncanny to have a cross out here, that's all." What did that even mean and how much did Richard even know in the first place? Judging by the fact that his thrian heritage seemed kind of apparent and his knowledge slightly muddled up at parts, Yujin didn't expect him to know everything. "Burying someone out here is stupid. Thrians, religious or not, believe that the body is just a cage for a soul after death and with the temperatures out here, your body wouldn't decompose - either wild animals get to it or you get mummified by all the ice and snow overtime, meaning your soul would be eternally trapped like a wingless bird in a birdcage without a door." This wasn't much information to go of in the first place, but it explained the gist of it pretty well. "Your body will almost always be burned ... unless one of two factors apply. If you deserve to suffer for all eternity, you will be buried in ice and snow, entombed for all eternity - but that wouldn't warrant you a cross. The other is if it's not viable to drag you - or your remains - back home and burn them someplace your soul would consider safe because it's fled the cage either way already, that would warrant you a cross or a tombstone of any kind. The third one would be a memorial, but that's not something usual either", he grumbled and let his fingers trail over the blurred inscription on the cross - what on earth was this supposed to mean? Yujin looked up, before finding what they had initially looked for anyway - and promptly sticking his hand in the snow in front of the makeshift grave, just to feel around and find nothing - before walking past it. "The cave is over there."

"Suck on what now? The fact that I got out here? I'd rather have you su- no, nevermind, this is misplaced. I get what you mean", he finally cracked a joke, but only because the opportunity had presented itself so clearly that he couldn't just let it pass and not give Richard a good taste of said medicine once more. Slowly but surely, he'd warm up to all of this again and it wouldn't be any more important than it was before - one afterthought, added to a pile of those, back to the beginning of not remembering something about anything and it wasn't like Richard was here to serve as his vault of memories, either. There was a distinct difference between forgetting involuntarily and on purpose - many did the latter, Yujin didn't, despite trying his utmost. What was there left to figure out, why couldn't he do it on his own and quite frankly, what would it mean to be the person he was before all of this? Nothing, he'd have changed over time either way, be it for better or for worse, it didn't matter much. What mattered, however, was the sole thought of forgetting once more - what if this trip was nothing more than a distant star, about to die once Richard left him behind? Fuck, he was overthinking this, he almost sounded like the blonde and his words didn't helpt either, they felt like gut punches instead. "I came here before, that's why me and Quan were in the area to begin with." They had wandered, had seen this place and decided it was a pretty decent spot to camp at, he knew that, but up until now, he'd always avoided it for quite obvious, bloody reasons. "I ... yes ... you're right. That ... isn't too idealistic in the end." It still was, at least to him, someone like him that was - but why was he all gloomy like this?

"What sheep would come out here if the ports are open? And that aside, you'd ... not take this route. If you came from the obvious one, you'd cross Jehanna, which wouldn't lead you here." Settlements in Thria still were small, the big ones didn't even compare to an adrestian city, but nobody cared, they took their time and cherished said time as much as they could, as if the next mad king would pry it out of their cold, dead hands the first chance they got. "Don't be silly, I wouldn't let you die here. A smile would suit you, but I told you that often enough already ... just, don't talk about yourself like that, will you?" However, he could barely know what was going on inside of the blonde - but there was some things he was able to guess and assume from whatever it was that they both had heared of before - there were outburst, there wasn't much happiness from time to time, and yet it was not too bad that he stuck with Richard, was it now? "Besides, I'm sure your father would kill me if I let you die out here and I'd not be able to live with the burden." There he had it, the answer Richard probably didn't even want to hear, but Yujin had understood the gist of it - all of this was just incredibly bizzare, yet, he hadn't even touched the cross more than to let his fingers trail over it and left it where it belonged, as if he was going to destroy someones eternal slumber by taking it with him. "One for me? I mean ... I ... I guess? But ... ah, fuck, I can't remember anyways!" That wouldn't matter, it never had and trying to understand it was a pain in the ass - the cross was new, it wasn't as old as his incident, or at least not older than that and Yujin hated the realization of it. "It's not that I want to uncover this myself, I just don't get what on earth is going on and coming here begs more questions than answers. Besides, I'd have to desecrate a grave for this - the gods will murder me. ... And you can't just set camp up on your own."

"Quan?", he recalled as if hearing that name was odd, but he couldn't quite say that. It was a possibility, one of many, but it didn't matter much when he couldn't even ask the guy and knowing where the brunette went, it also didn't seem plaubsible, which is why he shook his head instead. This wasn't going to get him anywhere, that much was for sure, but the thought itself wasn't so bad, not to him. Why was Richard trying to help him, though? Was he pitying him or was he insane enough to think that nothing of this was going to be of any importance? Whatever the case, Yujin had enough of getting berated by the blonde and while his opinions did help somewhat, it just felt odd to hear them, blurted out like this, mixed together with those own, quite stupid thoughts of his, when he could be the one busy figuring all of this mystery out. "I'll just try my best and get behind whatever has kept bugging me for the past few years, but I'll tell you, or else I won't have any way of remembering that, either." If the blonde retained that secret for him, at least until he got to write it down, then it all would be in good faith - but for that, he had to figure this little secret out first and until he actually did, there was no telling of what really went down here, as sad as it sounded and as stupid as it was, there was no way for him to know anything about all of this to begin with. "That doesn't mean I can't at least try to protect you, too, right? At least I hope neither of us need to protect one another, but still, it's always good to have one anothers back." No fiends or foes were closing in on them, they were all alone down here and that wouldn't change unless someone cought up to them, which - for now - seemed almost as unlikely as a fever dream would suggest. "I ... no idea. I think I asked him about something like that, but he kept avoiding the topic like it was some sort of pest that he was going to contract if he did, so I let him off of the hook eventually. Not that he had anything interesting to say in that regard, though ... he just apologized a whole bunch." That was burned in the back of his skull, almost like it belonged there, because it was one of the very first things he'd seen after he'd woken up and it was just Quan being sad about what happened and happy about finding out that Yujin, indeed, hadn't died. It was so strange, it didn't make sense to himself, now that he thought about it. "I thought you'd like some help, but if you say you can handle it on your own, I won't stop you. Just ... take care, alright?", he asked of the blonde, before he did force his way inside the cave and got rid of the luggage he was carrying around - now, to go back out there and actually do some investigating of the situation.

"I have guts! Both figuratively and actually, but that's not ... mh, forget about it. I'll go dissect my grave, I'll let you set up camp and we can be self-depreciating together when we both crawl back into our fur nest", the wolf grumbled as he trailed off again, back to the grave. They had found him out here, but he recalled being inside the cave as well, so what was the truth? It seemed almost stupid to think about it now, but he did want to dissect this stupid grave, which was why he - once he reached it - did look at the wooden cross further. It didn't look hastily put together, it had something else engraved into it, patterns of all things and he knew those too well. They were silessian patterns, which meant the corpse or its remnants did belong to one of his own, but what was more, he did start outlining a possible grave on the snow that he stood in, before he started digging and desecrating the grave itself. There was silence for a good while, but he did find something amidst the heaps of snow eventually, once his fingers turned cold and red and kind of numb - soaked, frozen fabric, barely stained with blood, which seemingly was absorbed by the snow around it. Something was wrapped into it, but Yujins head hurt already when he tried to wrap it around the fact that he did know where that belonged - and it didn't help much when he looked up and saw something, someone, looming over him. "AH FUCK!", he yelled out, falling flat onto his ass, but once he looked back up again, there was ... nobody there. He was going insane, wasn't he? His heart banged against his chest and the state of the clothing the he did find, the bits and pieces that seemed to be buried in all of this snow, wrapped around something ... none of it made sense. This was a grave, for himself, all factors pointed into that direction but if it were, why was he still alive and what in gods name was wrapped so neatly between bloody, frozen clothes? Yujin didn't want to know, in fact, his stomach was turning and if he had any food he could have thrown up, he would, but there was none - it wasn't enough for him to spew bile - and instead, he just ... what was he going to do with that? The wolf sat it aside, redirected his attention to the wooden cross and looked for some more clues. That couldn't be his, not in a million years was this his ...

"I ripped it out of the ground and it's not some makeshift bullshit, it's silessian work, it should be fine", he answered, just to get Richard off his case. There was a plethora of ways this could go, but none of them were particularly interesting or even the slightest bit of informative for any of them. The sole thing he could, however, think about, was the fact that while often enough nothing remained in a way that it made sense or was beneficial to ones surroundings, not all had to be lost to time - there was a slim chance that no matter what, all of this was good in one way or the other and whoever thought otherwise was about to find themselves at the sharp end of a weapon, receiving nothing but maltreatment. "So a daydream seeping into reality? Great, sounds absolutely horrible." Yujin couldn't recall a single instance of himself being out here and actually finding out about the many things that could have happened to him - this here was different, not only because he had somehow needed it, but also because it seemed especially unlikely that he would find himself in a similar situation soon. He dragged the cross and the bundle with him and before he could do much, it was Richard that was setting up a fire and letting him place his new belongings close to it.

The bundle of fabric, soaked in more than one liquid, was probably going to be the worst to deal with, so it should stay where it was the longest - but the rest of the frozen fabric was still wrapped around the cross, upside down at that, and not like a coat fluttering in the wind, rather, it was a foundation in all of that ice and snow to hinder nature from getting to the cross itself. "I want to hold your hand, though", the wolf grumbled, missing the touch already. He still was as clingy as ever, that was good. Yujin just placed them there and hoped that, despite the air being frigid, the warmth eminating from the flickering flames would be enough to keep all of this in check and make them see through the mess that most of this was. However, it took already long enough for the coat, or whatever he suspected it to be, to become peelable - but once it was, he put his hands to it and started gripping and ripping on it for good measure. Honestly, it was a miracle that the fabric itself wasn't tearing, only the thin layers of ice keeping all of that attached to the wooden cross - and once Yujin had uncovered it, he was sure that that soaked, still kind of stiff thing was, all things considered, a coat - one of his, or at least one made for him. Unfolding it seemed like a struggle, but ... this was just odd. Yujin cast it aside, wanted to let it melt some more, though, before he could even grab the cross, a cup of tea was thrust into his hands. "Thank you, but ... that wasn't necessary. What about you? Are you alright?"