bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

    • "Oh, were you ... my bad", Yujin sighed. On one hand, he appreciated the gesture and on the other, it seemed to be almost misguided, maybe even somewhat misplaced. Was Richard trying to crack a joke? Whew, that had been kind of misguided, but who knew, the night was young and they both were fucked up enough to wait for all of this to just transpire, one way or the other. "My leg? You can't really see that when I wear five dif- forget it, nevermind. I'm glad you don't", he admitted. Why talk himself down, find himself something to be sad about when the blonde was being nothing but sweet and tried his earnest to offer some comfort? Yujin didn't know, amybe he felt as if it was his time to sulk, his opportunity to show Richard that he wasn't the onnly one that got fucked over by the gods, but ... that was hardly it. There was no need to fight over who got the nastier scar or who was capable of talking more shit than the other - that would only lead to things that Yujin didn't feel like dealing with, not today and not anytime thereafter. The good thing was, that Richard made him snort and then laugh a bit - he wasn't wrong, but it was quite amusing anyway. "Do you really want to spend your time in Silesse like that? Being ugly with me?", he joked in return. "I wouldn't mind."

      There it was, the thing that Richard had told him, that was clinging to him from the edge of his mind - the constant reminder that his presence wasn't, actually, going to be forever, that he was going to eventually remove himself eventually and that that would be the last thing Yujin would ever see of him. But ... what for? "A few. They all came up with something different, but nothing really seemed to work for me. Their best guess usually was trauma, after they exhausted all their other assumptions", Yujin informed Richard. That was it, the burden he was saddled with and the one that also wouldn't let him be. Who knew, maybe at some point he'd figure something out, realize who he was, but actually ... why did that bother him? There was no conspiracy against him going on, there only was as much silence as one could want and the fact that he couldn't remember, that wasn't even too bad, was it? "Tried thrice, forgotten I ever started one thrice, then found it some odd months later and I found myself asking what the fuck it is, or well, was." That hadn't worked for him, which was kind of pathetic too, but now that he gave it a thought, the idea wasn't bad, not in the slightest. "No need to, I wasn't expecting advice, I was supposed to talk about nightmares, but ... uh, I don't even know what's going on in them", Yujin elaborated, then shook his head. He had enough, didn't he? "No, that's fine, there's not much else I could tell you anyway." He had given Richard an explanation, but that apparently hadn't done much for him. "You put the pipe to your lips and take a drag from it, breathe some in, not too much, just for a second and then you breathe it out. I mean, you could try breathing it out through your nose but that usually isn't all that ... it just doesn't smell nice."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Hm... okay I'll try again. Remember the last time I was here? We both were naked. So I could very well see it, but I can't remember I did. On the other hand... well... I don't remember anything anyway.", he explained with a sigh. Damn had he always been that bad at communicating? Yes definitely, that was another thing Dayan excelled in and he did not. He tried, but... well... ad the crown prince of Adrestia it didn't really matter what he said and everyone laughed about his jokes even if they weren't funny at all. So that was what he got from being spoiled and rich, at least Dayan had told him when he had been stupid. Richard looked up at Yujin somewhat apologetic and squeezed his hand some more, he really wasn't good at any of this and thus Yujin should just keep his girlfriend for emotional support, while Richard was just there to... wait, that wasn't even what he wanted or aimed for. This was a bad idea anyway. Was the opium already getting to his head? Now that he thought about it, he felt a little bit less on edge, he couldn't have been so wrong when he took a puff then, on the other hand his body didn't tolerate any of this shit, right? "I don't want to spend my time in Silesse anyway, might as well do it ugly, but... I doubt we show our scars to anybody all of a sudden, so... it's kind of a secret I guess.", Richard mused and wondered why he still sat there like a little girl waiting for a present.

      "I'm sorry.", Richard mumbled, well he wasn't at fault for Yujins dilemma and he couldn't help him either, but he felt like he shouldn't have asked in the first place. Still he wondered how Yujin was so happy all the time, after what happened to him, what still was happening to him. Then again... Richard never cared much about his heart that just stopped whenever it liked to either. "Hm...", he let out upon realizing just that, after all it wasn't so hard to understand Yujin. "Well, I understand.", he slowly said, so instead of going on about Yujins diagnosis and the lack of help he received, he just went with that, because no one ever was able to help Richard either and though he didn't suddenly forget things, he instead could drop to the floor every damn minute of his life, that wasn't all too pleasant either. "Hm... maybe it's not that bad you don't remember them. When I wake up I usually can't get the images out of my head, but... it's more a memory than a dream really.", he explained, maybe Yujin was helped when he heard Richards side of the same coin. But for now he just tried to take Yujins advice and took another drag. And coughed again. But less, only once and shortly, though his throat felt scratchy now. He gave the pipe back and instead reached for the water on the nightstand, even though he had to lean over Yujin to get it. Once he did he took a big gulp and set it down on his side of the bed afterwards. While he was already moving he got rid of his own boots and just threw them to the floor. Afterwards ha reclaimed his spot next to Yujin again. "We should do something fun you know?", he finally sighed. "Talking about our nightmares will only have us have them... And gimme that, I think I need a little more to actually feel tired enough to sleep." With that Richard took back the pipe and tried again, he didn't mind the coughs.

    • “I think that might be because we both were drunk, drugged up and honestly, all things considered, pent up. I do remember a few things, definitely not everything, but ... things like that, if they aren’t the center of your attention, they tend to blur in with the rest”, Yujin told his fellow wolf. Was he wrong, though? Often enough, people would forget minor details cause they only saw it from the corner of their eye, but the wolf shook his head. “I guess you’re right, it doesn’t look so bad like this. You should have seen it when it was fresh ... it probably looked gnarly.” Why probably? Well, Yujin probably also had no idea how it looked anymore, so now he was grasping at straws. Whatever or not that was going to make him feel better, the wolf couldn’t say, but right now, right here, he didn’t mind being where he was or talking about all of this - it was only Richard that knew these things anyway. Was it even necessary to tell him anything else? "So ugly in disguise? In secret?", he chuckled. They both were just like that, weren't they? That meant, as long as Richard was here, they could still be who they were, act like they wanted to be someone else, pretend that they weren't doing things that absolutely made no sense to either of them, couldn't they? But still, that begged the question who they were to one another and who they'd be eventually.

      "No need to be, really", he chuckled. Actually, why were they like this? They kept apologizing to one another for the siliest of things, they went on and on about stuff that made no sense to either of them and yet it somehow had to make sense, didn't it? A soft chuckle was all he could produce, force over his lips at this point. "You do? You understand that I gave up on finding out?", he wanted to know, but of course Richard did - they both weren't alike at all and yet they, somehow, weren't differing too much from one another. Happiness came at a price and since only one of them was happy, was the other one paying for all of this? Or was that just another stupid thought that got caught in his head, in his brain? "So it haunts you? It's something like that for me, too, but ... just less vivid, I'd assume. Maybe there isn't anything visual I should remember, but rather the sounds and feelings, you know?" What if all of those senses just strung his brain along and forced it to make things up on its own, forced it to come up with something to make up for the lack of something else? Was it really that he couldn't remember or was it because he chose not to? "You're right. Musing about what haunts us isn't going to do anything for us, not for me and definitely not for you. This ... isn't he best icebreaker, either." They didn't even need one, what were they even talking about? Life was something fleeting and yet, wasn't the blonde ready to cast it aside ever so quickly? Yujin squeezed the hand he still held, looking for proof that Richard wouldn't disintegrate before his eyes - he definitely was real, breathing, alive. What was he so scared of now, though? That wasn't like him at all. "The coughing will go away eventually", the wolf admitted, then stole the pipe back from his fellow monster, just because. "What do you even consider fun? Then again, I guess coming up with something fun should be my field of expertise."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Probably...", Richard agreed. He had been really out of it, he couldn't remember a word they spoke, even if he tried, he saw images of them talking amongst other things, but the words were missing. Well maybe it was better that way. Hm... and Yujin told him his memory sucked, yet he was the one reminding him of things he said back then all the time. "Mine just was... blood I guess. A lot... a long time... it opened up over and over again.", Richard mused about his own scar, but he wasn't able to see it, Nayantai didn't give him a mirror so he could watch himself bleed out over and over again, so... that was that. And after multiple attempts to sew it shut that failed and made him lose more blood, so much in fact that he remembered his clothes soaking it up time and time again, well... he cauterized it and it did hurt like hell and also didn't go as planned as it seemed. He didn't give Nayantai any fault though... being alive was actually a miracle, one that he didn't fancy, but still. Richard looked at Yujin again and tried to make his face smile for a change, well Yujin was the only one managing that, right? Him and the drugs apparently. "Sure. Well. Other people know, but let's act like they don't.", Richard nodded. Nayantai knew, Yujins fathers knew probably, his girlfriend,... that were a lot of people, for a secret between two, but.. well whatever.

      "I do understand yes. I'm sick since I was born and no one was able to figure something out that is worthwhile. So what else am I supposed to do but live with it? It doesn't matter if I like it or not, or what it means, I won't get rid of it, so I might as well just ignore it to save me the trouble. It's... kind of the same, right?", Richard answered referring to his heart. It was not exactly the same, but enough to know where Yujin was coming from. "I can remember how I felt back then, I can remember how it felt to get his neck cut open, I can remember how it feels to die... I probably would be better off if I didn't.", he explained and squeezed Yujins hand as well, but let go right after, but only to change the way he held it, he intertwined their fingers without any further comment to it. "Icebreaker?", he asked though, Richard couldn't imagine that they ever would just smalltalk, that wasn't useful in any regard anyway. "I hope s-- hey..." Yujin took the pipe from him and Richard almost pouted, wasn't he supposed to be good at sharing? "That's true. Thinking up something fun is your thing. But for what it is worth, you already help me. I'd be alone if you wouldn't spend time with me and that usually means I have time to think. So thank you...", he mumbled the last words and let his thumb caress Yujins soft skin. That let him realize something else. He never really need to do much work, he had sword training, but not every day, now that he carried buckets around, trained every day and his hands wre mostly out in the cold, they grew rough, didn't they?

    • None of them owed anything to anyone, not while they were out here, not while everything blended into one another and not when the promise of grabbing onto something, onto the world that lay bare before them, felt as enticing as it did now. Sometimes it was fine to live in the moment, to not think ahead and instead indulge in ones desires, as silly as they sounded and as silly as they would always be. "And yet it's closed up ...", he mumbled, not wanting to marble at it any longer, not for now, simply because there was nothing to be gained from that, as much as there was nothing to be gained from dwelling on the past, on the same topic they'd agreed to drop just earlier. Were they insane? Was all of this just a bluff they were trying to pull off? "Secrets are secrets regardless", Yujin remarked, this was something they shared with one another and ... it didn't matter if others knew, especially not if they just took one quick glance at them. The only thing they had in common was pain - one of them remembered his vividly, the other didn't even know what it was about and in the end, they both were trying to figure it out for themselves, weren't they? This was getting idiotic, Yujin knew as much, but he enjoyed being here, enjoyed feeling his heart beat like that and losing himself in a conversation like that.

      "So we both gave up on something in our own regard because persuing it further would only lead to more disappointment, or rather, unanswered riddles that we don't have any time for." People had looked at him, he was pretty sure, but their faces and words were a blur, they were trying to make all of this work, to make him remember, to help him not forget, but Yujin was the one that found himself failing and by now, all he could remember was someone eventually chalking it up to trauma and him wondering why he just ... well, why did he just accept that? "It sounds like it's kind of the same, you aren't wrong with that", the wolf answered, gave him a smile, knew that all of this talk was probably going down the drain very soon - he wouldn't remember it and Richard wouldn't want to remember it, or the drugs would take that from them. "Mh, probably. But ... you're alive now, you might as well use that opportunity." There was no shame in trying and trying again, as was there no shame in getting back up after falling down, flat onto his face - but for Richard, it was different, wasn't it? Yet, they both were suffering, somehow, alone and yet together. "Maybe we need one, who knows", the wolf shrugged his shoulders, then chuckled at Richard being mad about the pipe. "I'm glad to. I'm also happy we could talk, I really needed that after tonight." Yujin did, he did need someone to talk because normally, he wouldn't have someone, not like this and confiding in his brother was just going to worry that poor man even more. "Actually, I have an idea", he mumbled, taking a drag from the pipe, but he was going to let go of that smoke so easily, instead, he forced a kiss onto Richard - maybe he had better chances that way? However, maybe it was just enough to interlace their fingers like that ... or was it? When he finally pulled away, he offered the pipe back to the blonde. "Sorry, that was the best thing that came to mind." They had shared, though, hadn't they?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Sitting here and simply holding Yujins hand was somewhat calming, yet nerve wrecking. Not because they talked about stuff they rather hid - although that in itself was somewhat helping- no, because touching his hand alone made Richards chest tighten and his heart felt like it wanted to jump out of his chest. That stupid broken thing could pump just fine right now and other times... well it didn't matter. What did matter was that Richards cheeks felt hot and his head heavy. His body itself felt like he was scared, but not in a bad way, it was very weird and he wasn't sure why Yujin had this effect on him, why holding his hand alone was enough. Maybe the opium enhanced those feelings though, but enhanced was they key here, it didn't magically make those feeling appear out of thin air, Richard knew as much, but he didn't know if he liked it. Richard simply nodded, there was nothing else to ay to his scar or Yujins, or their secrets. It was theirs, though they shared something completely different as well. That night an this one. Richard didn't want any more or any less, didn't he? He didn't want any commitment, so this was fine. Not seeing each other and when it both struck them, hide away together. For some reason he suddenly thought about Myriad. It started with the thought that the only place to hide away was here, they could barely hide in the hut with Nayantai in the next room, so the next best thing Richard had was his castle, which wasn't his anymore, but he would have liked to invite Yujin there at some point. Oh well...

      Richard tilted his head just a little bit, this stuff made him think even more, but nothing bad really and if, he didn't care right about now. Dwelling in his own fantasies was fine, even if they wouldn't come true. "I guess that was what I was trying to say, yes.", he agreed, they weren't so different. They both had conditions no one could figure out and they both made their peace with it somehow. "Mh. I've got things left i this world I guess.", he simply answered, but didn't mean a life, fun, maybe a family one day, no. He got his revenge, he needed to kill those who killed his siblings, that was why he still was here and why his body didn't give up just yet. "For what?", he asked regarding the icebreaker. Was there even ice between them to break? Well the castle was made of ice... He was already baked, wasn't he? "After tonight?", Richard asked. Because of his girlfriend? Or the whole dinner? It had taken a while but it wasn't that bad, at least for Richard, no one had talked to him anyway. "Hm?", he then made a noise, turning his head to listen to Yujins idea. But instead of telling him he just took another drag of the pipe. Shortly after though Yujins lips met Richards, prying his mouth open just a little bit to force some of that smoke in his own mouth. He refrained from coughing, let Yujin kiss him and he kissed him back. When Yujin let go Richard turned his head, coughing up some smoke that was left. "It's fine.", he answered, no need to apologize. He was offered the pipe but he refused, actually... "It's much easier like this, let's do it again." What...?

    • There were few things Yujin actually wanted, few things that he would actually ask for and somehow, one of them ended up being Richard, yet, he couldn't even think about how he'd ask him for something, anything, even if it was just his attention. This right now had happened because the blonde had wanted it to, because forcing a situation was suddenly easier when both of the parties involved were just busy with their minds, scattering them all over the place and wondering what it was that influenced them as much as it did. Their dreams were at fault, Yujin knew as much, but this right here gave him comfort, hidden away somewhere in what probably was one of the only castles the wolves had, in a dead hallway, a forgotten room, so far away from the others that he was surprised that at least the candles in the hallway were lit. "What do we need an icebreaker for? No idea, but maybe it'll prove useful", he chuckled, shaking his head in return. They really didn't need one, Yujin was just talking out of his ass by now, but he enjoyed it, because it at least gave him some sense of security, for whatever reason that was. Factually, they both had come here to talk, now they were here to smoke and forget what they'd talked about, as simple as that, wasn't it? Among unpolished walls of ice, feeling the cold seep into their bodies when they had rooms that were ... no, this here was perfectly fine.

      "Tonight was exhausting, not because of you, but because of everything else", he remarked. Yin had been the straw that broke the camels back, alongside the fact that he was somewhat mad at Richard, or was he the sad one? Yujin didn't even care, what he cared about, however, was finding out what would feel better - drugs or sex. Still, both, in combination, weren't going to be much fun, especially when they were trying to discern which one worked for Richard and which one didn't, so it was only logical to abstain from one of them. Despite that, however, it was fun to glance at him, to see him cough the rest of the smoke up and Yujin was about to call it quits, to just give the pipe back - but Richard didn't want that. "I'm so- ... huh, what?", he suddenly expressed, not expecting that answer of all things. Now, this was turning interesting and it made him feel odd, maybe a little excited, maybe it was also forcing his hear to beat fast, wasn't it? "Then I won't say no", the wolf replied, taking another drag from the pipe and forcing his lips onto Richards, prying his mouth open and well, this time, there definitely was more tongue and teeth involved, as if that had been an invitation to something besides smoking, as if that had been what let Yujin lose in the first place. Richard wanted fun? He'd get fun. Once Yujin pulled away from him, he wasn't sure if he was baked or not - hell, he wasn't even sure what he wanted to do right about now. "Do you ... want more?" What kind of stupid question was that and why was he squeezing Richards hand like that? Gods, he was pathetic. "I guess this qualifies as another secret."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "An icebreaker in a castle made out of ice sounds somehow wrong... and dangerous...", Richard mused, thought out loud and it was only bullshit that his mind produced. Well that was a definite sign that whatever he smoked was already enough to drag his mind to different plains, to different things that were completely irrelevant to him, to Yujin and to the rest of the world and this was just fine. He didn't want to think about his brother, his life, his past, not even his future and he managed just that with two simple things. First, a pipe and second Yujin, whos presence made Richard think about other things and redirected his bodies focus onto his beating heart rather than his brain. He was tired, yes, but he knew he couldn't sleep right now, so instead he wanted to enjoy this evening a little while longer. They'd only have a few hours until they needed to wake up again, but it were probably more both of them would get if they didn't spend time together, or was it not that? Either way, Richard felt good about himself right now, or at least better than usual and that was worth a lot.

      "Hm. I'm not sure why we even came, Nayantai isn't into evening like that either...", Richard thought out loud, but in the end it served both of them, right? They weren't mad at each other, well Yujin wasn't at Richard, the blonde had never been angry. And they also maybe managed to sleep tonight, after they hadn't for a while. Whatever the cause as long as it worked out, Richard was fine with it. Yujin was about to apologize after their short kiss, or exchange of smoke, or whatever it was as it seemed and it made Richard almost chuckle, when Yujin realized that there was no need to. He complied with Richards request, but in the end the smoke maybe wasn't even important to him. Since he had still an unoccupied hand, he slowly moved it onto Yujins cheek during their kiss that was much more a kiss this time. Whether this was a mistake or not, it didn't matter if it helped both of them and even if it didn't in the long run, Richard needed sleep, he needed it if he didn't want to break into a million pieces sometime soon, so... whatever helped and if Yujin was fine with it, why not do it? Richard opened his eyes when Yujin pulled back, the smoke was long gone, but that probably didn't matter. Richard didn't cough this time either. His hand remained on Yujins cheek, pulled back some hair and placed them behind his ear. "Do you?", he asked instead of giving an answer. "Maybe we'll end up with more."

    • "Does it now? Maybe you're right", Yujin remarked and chuckled about it, too. Richard wasn't entirely wrong, if anything, an icepick would just tear this castle apart and if that were to happen, his father would kill him, no doubt about it. Now that he came to think of it, why exactly had he picked this room, so far away from anyone else? His sister already knew and if he'd played it safe, he could have gotten Yin out of his room, too, but he didn't. Richards room, on the other hand, was probably much more welcoming and warmer than this one, but he probably had his next to Nayantai, who - according to the blonde - also already knew and yet, Yujin didn't want to confirm anything to anyone as it seemed, or at least he didn't feel like it, not right now anyway. Instead, he wanted to explore this odd feling some more, see what his heart was going to do if he shared some more kisses with Richard and if all of that would be amplified by the fact that they had just inhaled a bit too much of the opium he'd brought, that they weren't all that tired just yet? Whatever it was, it didn't matter much to Yujin, in fact, it felt as if the world around them didn't matter too much if he kept insisting it didn't and for that, he only had to do a few things.

      "But you're here now and that means, we get to enjoy some time together", the wolf mused. He was happy that Richard was here, no doubt about it, but he knew that he hadn't been earlier, when all of this was still going down the drain and when he thought that Richards mere presence was a nuisance to him, but why even? He had been wrong to lash out at him like that, simply because he'd woken him up and who really wanted to be disturbed by an entitled ice prince in the middle of the night? Certainly not someone that struggled with nightmares. For now, the drugs didn't seem important and actually, Yujin shoved the pipe aside, onto the nightstand - as long as it burned, the fumes would yuck up the room anyway and they'd inhale them, one way or the other. Kissing, however, wasn't going to get them their fix of opium, it would just taste a certain way that, while odd, wasn't something they wouldn't not be able to get used to. "Would I have asked if I didn't want to?", he retaliated, but he already knew the answer when the hand on his cheek felt nice, as if it had belonged there to begin with, when he soaked up the warmth it exuded and if he could, would have pressed his head into the touch. "I wouldn't mind some more", he said, bringing that hand he held up to his mouth and kissing it ever so softly, not wanting to ruin the moment. But it felt nice to be taken care of, didn't he? "Do you ... uh, should I use my mouth this time around or do you want to keep kissing?" For all he cared, Richard could be the one that fucked him this time - actually, that didn't sound so bad, did it now?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard wondered about how they got here, just the two of them, hidden away, smoking and kissing and he asked himself if they'd end up like this more often from now on. This place was nice, it felt so far away from everything else and that was exactly what Richard had wanted. He didn't care if they made any noises, if no one would smell the smoke here, or if someone would see them, they'd know nothing new, he just wanted to get away from everyone else, because what he had shared before, was for ones ears but Yujins. Richard probably wouldn't have felt safe enough, much as before in the hallway when he asked Yujin to meet later. Was it alright to do this here? To ask Yujin for another kiss? The wolf started it, but it still felt a little bit odd. Oh well, Richard wasn't the one with the girlfriend and he couldn't say he cared about that girl or her feelings. This was Yujins responsibility and for all Richard cared, they could continue these nights and he could still keep her close, for when either of them dropped the other eventually. Maybe this would help Richard to sleep and if it did, he probably came back for more if he was tired and worn out again. As long as that was alright for Yujin that was.

      "I don't even know why you want that.", Richard remarked. The blonde had not many people he knew and wanted to confide in, but Yujin had a lot of possibilities. Why pick some broken half wolf who was nothing but mean. Well, Yujin probably wanted to fix someone, was that his thing? Richard looked into Yujins blue eyes that everyone probably saw as foreign and weird, yet Richard was used to eyes like that and he didn't really think twice about it. "Most of the time I'm not sure what you want.", Richard answered. Yujin had cuddled and kissed his girlfriend all night without really enjoying it, he even slept with her, Richard knew as much, Yujin didn't even need to say it. Now Richards hand was kissed again and he wondered if this was like any fling he had in Adrestia, or if this was something else. He'd always been kind of romantic, didn't just meet for sex, but he wasn't sure about this here. Either way, it didn't quite matter how exactly he felt. Richard was surprised by the next words that left Yujins mouth and he almost chuckled about it. "Are you always this blunt?", he asked shaking his head in disbelieve, did Yujin seriously just say that? "Let's just see where this leads... no need to talk or think about it.", he answered and pulled Yujin into another kiss, a soft one this time and the blondes hand found it's way to the back of Yujins head.

    • Wasn’t it funny? They both wound up like this again, sharing some smoke, a kiss or two and then, Yujin was the one that wanted more and Richard was the one that said that, well, maybe there would be more. This situation felt somewhat familiar, if anything - but Yujin couldn’t quite remember why, the words seemed familiar or maybe they weren’t maybe this deja-vu that he thought to be experiencing wasn’t one after all and his head was spinning a story he wasn’t even a part of. The pipe was out of their way, which was good - for now, at least, but it would come back up again, he’d find himself yearning for something else than physical touch, or would he? “Why wouldn’t I? If you enjoy yourself, I might as well revel in that feeling as well - or are you not enjoying yourself as well?”, the wolf inquired. The blondes mouth often enough claimed things that he meant in a completely different way - maybe that was why shutting him up and letting his body talk would be the easier way, but still, he couldn’t just tell Richard that, he’d try to refute it somehow or get mad, wouldn’t he? In the end, Yujin found himself yearning for touches, kisses or anything, really and he chased after Richard the moment he pulled away, to return the kiss, to feel his skin on his own and he wondered if that was what they wanted, or what the blonde wanted.

      Was kissing him even fun without all the smoke to blur the lines between what was right and wrong? Was Yujin really trying to appeal to his moral compass that this was wrong, that neither of them should be as antsy as they were about that and that he shouldn’t be kissing the half-wolf because he had a girlfriend? This was ridiculous and futile at best. “Why is that?”, he asked, a smile on his lips - most likely, it was because of that. Richard rarely saw him not smile, not being the moodmaker or not complying to the things and ideas around him - then again, they hadn’t seen that often yet, either and this was the first time they were talking about important topics, or was it? What did Yujin know, his brain was a mess and the fact that he had been smoking something just now wasn’t doing him any favors. “At least I’m asking - would you prefer it if I just get between your legs and start pulling on your clothes?”, the wolf asked, grinning at the blonde. This ... was who he was, right? Blunt and loving, yet, he wouldn’t want to force himself onto Richard, despite using that one hand of his to grab onto the blondes shirt, pull him close, keep him where he was and steal another kiss. They were still holding hands, weren’t they? “So no thinking ... hm, can I ask something though?”, he mumbled, now that the hand on Richards chest let go - instead, it looks for that stupid sash and pulled on it eventually. Gods, who had put this into place like that? It wasn’t budging all that much.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard wasn't as wasted as last time, he probably would remember most of this as it stood now and yet he still let all of this happen again. Maybe this time he was just too tired to let his consciousness and fears get in the way. What he feared hadn't changed, it wouldn't anytime soon, but the fact that he still wished for someone to be there, to touch him, that didn't change either. Now that he unfortunately knew that it still felt good not being alone at night and having someone to hug, it was getting easier for Yujin to get to him, wasn't it? If this continued happening, Richard probably wouldn't be able to say no in the future, even if he wasn't drunk, tired or emotional because of something like a stupid birthday. "I am. I am enjoying this.", Richard answered, although enjoying was a word he wouldn't put in context with himself. Still, this felt good and it was a welcome distraction. It was enough to hold Yujins hand to make Richard think about other things, it was even easier to forget about what troubled him, when he kissed him. He wasn't quite sure yet, if it needed to be Yujin, or if anyone would suffice really, but in this case he'd not talked to anyone else but the Silessien prince, that was exclusive for him.

      "You seem like you hardly can say no to anyone.", Richard explained somewhat carefully. Sure last time Yujin had been the one dragging him home, kissing him. This time he kissed him first too, but maybe only because he thought that was what Richard wanted or needed right now. On the other hand, Yujin had also be the one that dragged Richard out and sealed this meeting with a short kiss as well. Richard wasn't quite sure about any of this, but he sure as hell didn't care about Yujins relationship status right now. "I... mh... I think Silesse is a little bit different from Myriad in that regard...", Richard simply answered. Yujin was rash and came to the point rather quickly. There was nothing wrong with it, but in Adrestia there always had been much much more kissing and cuddling before anything else happened eventually but slowly. Richard didn't mind, it was just nothing he was used to. On the other hand no one needed to flirt with the other, especially not right now, this was not a situation like those in Myriad, where he tried to win a girls heart. Here no one tried to win anyones heart, they just wanted to feel good for once, right? Richard was pulled towards Yujin again, he got another short lived kiss, before looking at the wolf once more. "Sure... ask away...", Richard mumbled and eventually looked downwards to the sash Nayantai had wrapped around him, and the futile effort Yujin made to open it up. Richard was almost proud he had been able to remove Yujins the other night with ease, although he had no clue about Thrian clothing.

    • Was Yin even on his mind or was she not? Yujin couldn’t quite tell that just yet, especially when everything was seemingly eclipsed by Richard who, without a doubt wasn’t going to be receiving something from him for the last time. Actually, now that he gave it a thought, wasn’t he supposed to crawl back into his bed and hold that girlfriend of his close instead of taking to a completely different guy and wrapping him around his finger? Fuck, who cared. “So you can be honest”, he chuckled, still, Yujin was the one that also lied a whole bunch, whatever it was to benefit himself or others didn’t matter, but he had to admit that despite everything, this was an unexpected turn of events, wasn’t it? The two of them were trying their best to be someone, to work through their differences, but did they even have any to begin with or was that all something that came up in his head because of course it had to? Wasn’t it somewhat stupid? “But I’m glad, that means I’m not the only one”, Yujin replied, grabbing the sash once more and fumbling around with it, all the while his eyes were focused on Richard. They both probably weren’t all that nice to look at, incredibly and disgustingly tired as they were, but Yujin knew as much - and he wouldn’t let himself get derailed by something like that. The blonde had wanted them to be ugly together, so they’d be, whatever they actually wanted to or not wasn’t even important.

      “What are you? Worried I’ll just fuck anyone I find remotely interesting? Please, I’m not that easy”, the wolf gave back, but that was fine, he finally got ahold of the sash and by the gods, how was that not hurting Richard? Then again, maybe it was just a piece of fabric that held everything in place and no matter how harsh it pulled, the pain was miniscule. Was it that? Did Yujin just imagine things? Didn’t matter, not when it came right off, then and there, and he finally let his hand slide into the blondes clothes. Odd. Wasn’t it stupid to think that the he could just touch Richard like that? Fuck, that didn’t even matter, instead, he peeled the blonde out of his layers, or at least shoved them slightly off of him so he’d be able to bite into his shoulder, softly but still ... why on earth his shoulder and why bite it? That served no fucking purpose. “Why waste your time with foreplay when you can get to the good stuff right off the bat?”, Yujin blurted out, but he knew why they should, why it might as well be important to do something else than get to “the good stuff” and so on, but right about now, he was the one that was somewhat confused as to what he even wanted to ask in the first place. “Okay so, potentially, if I were to put my mouth to your throat, no teeth included, would that hurt?”, the wolf inquired. Would Richard even know an answer to that? Eugh, this was getting complicated. “Oh and”, he suddenly started, pressing a kiss against some part of Richards bare shoulders, before actually sucking on a spot around his collarbone - why leave visible marks this time. “Are you jealous?”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Huh?", Richard asked not quite understanding what Yujin was saying, but it was true, he lied a lot. Not obviously blunt lies like telling someone something which wasn't true, but rather he lied to himself and made himself seem like someone he wasn't. If he didn't want Yujin to be close, he told him that his eyes were ugly, just so he would fuck off, these kinds of lies. Mostly he did not admit what he truly felt, because he didn't want to feel certain things like friendship or love and he still didn't. He wanted this to be nothing more than an attempt to make both of them feel better and use something physical to achieve this, no romance or love involved, not real one. Sure holding hands was nice, kissing even better, but it only led to some form of vent for the both of them, right? Honest... he still wasn't, but yes he enjoyed this, whatever that meant. Richard was almost glad though to here that Yujin enjoyed himself too, maybe he worried too much about his feelings... he should stop that, since he didn't want to be friends or lovers with him, he just wanted a way to sleep, right?

      "More like anyone who somehow expresses he wants to...", Richard mumbled again pretty carefully, he didn't want to upset Yujin. He wasn't calling him a whore, more like... it felt like rejecting someone wasn't really part of Yujins toolkit. On the other hand in his case, Richards, Yujin was pretty proactive, so there wasn't any need to worry, was there? Eventually Yujin managed to pull away the fabric that held Richards clothes in place. He had to admit that undressing was much more easy in Thrian clothes, but it still felt odd and even with fifty layer of fabric, he somehow felt naked under those flowing clothes. Soon after Richard felt Yujins touch on his skin and a shiver ran down his spine. His stomach pulled together, his chest tightened and his head felt lighter than just seconds before. The fabric was pushed down his shoulders and made room for Yujin to lean forward and softly bite Richard. "I don't know... Adrestian manners...?", Richard asked, but he wasn't in Adrestia anymore, he was in Thria, in Silesse of all places, so if Yujin didn't want to waste their nights, well Richard didn't need to be seduced first and besides, Yujins touch, his lips, tongue and teeth already riled him up too. Yujins question made him think however, and stop in his tracks, he wasn't sure what to feel about that question, about his neck possibly being touched, maybe kissed even. "Without any pressure... I... don't think so?", he answered, he couldn't say he ever tried, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to try. "Are you sure you even want that?" Last time when Yujin aggressively fumbled around the fabric around Richards neck it didn't hurt either, did it now? But back then he didn't know which side to prioritize either. Feeling his lips on his shoulder and collarbone was nice though and so he softly grabbed Yujins chin to move it upwards again, to kiss him and let go of his hand. Instead Richard put both of his hands on Yujins hip, turned on his back and pulled Yujin with him and onto his lap. He let go of Yujin again afterwards and tried to open up the sash around Yujins waist now too. "Jealous? Of your girlfriend?", he asked. Well right about now there was really no reason to, was there? He was the one having Yujin sit on his lap and kiss his bare skin. "I don't want you to break up with her. Not because of me that is."

    • “What?”, he laughed, knowing that maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t been understood or was in the wrong here, but Richard didn’t seem like he did, for a moment, actually, he looked somewhat puzzled and Yujin couldn’t help but laugh ever so slightly about the expression he was seeing, despite it being dark and ... what even was this? They both were trying to love one another, with no strings attached, to make the nightmares go away and make the world feel whole again, weren’t they? But what was it that they were trying to accomplish right then and there, here and now, without much love or effort? Nothing about this should be inherently romantic, yet it somehow was and Yujin blamed the candlelight for it, the fact that all of this felt somewhat tender and soft, that they hadn’t yelled at one another or at least were doing this because they wanted to calm down from something. Actually, this was nice - he wanted this, Richard wanted this and if he kept telling himself that, maybe the blonde would come to like it more than he should, too. “I’m a prince, not a prostitute”, Yujin informed Richard, yet he didn’t take it to heart - he was actually grinning, wasn’t he? And from ear to ear, too - what on earth was wrong with him tonight and why was his heart beating like that?

      Once Richard let go of his hand, Yujin felt as if he needed to put them elsewhere on his body, as if they needed to stay connected - but they didn’t, because soon enough, someone tugged on him. What on earth? Well, right about now nothing mattered, he was the one staring into Richards face, into his eyes and he was left wondering what was so mesmerizing about them, at least to him, at least like this. It felt almost enthralling, didn’t it? “I don’t know adrestian manners”, he mumbled, speaking the truth and coaxing it out of his throat just like that - Yujin was the furthest thing from adrestian, not only geographically. This was silly, but ... “Maybe you have to teach me manners, then”, he suggested. Was Richard even into that kind of thing? Who knew that anyway? There only was one way to find out and right about now, he was on the best way to do just that. “There’s only way to know for certain.” Were there, really? The tugging on his body grew stronger and while this moment of solemn staring was nice, he soon found himself somewhere else, in another mans lap - what on earth? Now he was the one that was blushing, profusely so and that was ... it wasn’t bad. Soon enough, a hand fumbled with his sash and either, it was the fumes that the pipe still exuded or the sleepless nights, but the dreamy look on his face probably said it all, especially now that Richard seemed ... determined to get this thing open. “No one said anything about breaking up”, Yujin elaborated as he leaned down, finally pressing a soft kiss to the scarred spot on Richards throat. His hands found their way into blonde hair, or one of them did, while the other discarded some of the layers Richard was wearing, at least shoving them off of his upper body. “I’m sure I want you”, he chuckled. “We said we’d be ugly together, right?”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Richard looked at Yujin somewhat embarrassed , but it also was nice seeing and hearing him laugh like that. Yujin always seemed kind of happy and most of the time it didn't even feel like an act. Richard asked himself if his angry and cold hearted attitude was, if not only Yujin saw right through him, or if he wasn't that bad at keeping people away. Being around Yujin felt nice, it mostly did, even when Richard was telling him to shut up, or go away, simply because he managed to take Richards mind off of his past. When he was annoying and Richard had to be mad about it, this was still better than being sad and sometimes he almost made Richard laugh even, truly. All these thoughts felt almost a little bit too much though, but once this night was over, once they'd finally were able to sleep, they'd part ways again and probably wouldn't see each other for a while again. That was enough time to let the gap between them grow again, so they wouldn't feel too attached and meeting would always require overstepping a line and stepping back behind it afterwards. This was just fine for Richard, actually it was exactly what he needed, right? "Well I didn't say you get paid for it...", Richard answered, another bad joke. He suddenly wondered though, where there even prostitutes in Silesse? In some small town like this? Or was Yujin actually the one person that came closest to that? Though according to him his friends were worse.

      "We're in Silesse and I'm a nameless half wolf. You don't need any manners with me.", Richard replied, if anyone had to learn anything it was him, learning to dress and use chopsticks, like a little child. Well now that he thought about it, Silessians truly didn't have good manners right? With guests for dinner, kissing and love birding around in front of everyone wasn't really something anyone in Adrestia did, at least not in Myriad. And openly leaving with a girl was also not something that happened all too often, simply because theoretically a couple should wait until after marriage, even though no one actually did that. "What? Do you want me to teach you how to ask me for a dance?", he joked and shook his head. "No, it's fine, things just tend to go slower in Adrestia, but there is no need to here.", he expressed. After all they already had slept with each other and he already had wasted a lot of Yujins time, so if he rather got done with it, Richard wouldn't say no, despite liking kissing and cuddling him as well. Richard kind of avoided Yujin touching his scar right away, not that he didn't want him to try, or let him do whatever he thought was right, it just was somewhat scary. Raising his self esteem by kissing it wouldn't necessarily help, but he also understood that he was curious, Richard was too about Yujins scars. The next time Richard looked up however, from the sash he softly tried to open, he found Yujin actually blushing. "Is this also not what Thrians do?", he asked, the blonde just thought it would be nice to have Yujin closer, have him sit on top of him, so it would be easier to get him out of his clothes as well. Or did he not want that? Well it was too late, because the sash opened, though Richard refrained from doing more than that for now. He forgot about his scar and when Yujin leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss there, Richards body tensed up for a second and his hair stood on end. It felt odd, he couldn't discern the spot Yujin had touched, his nerves were all messed up there, on the other hand he very much could were the skin was thin and fragile and it probably felt more intense than it should, all the while his mind was playing trick probably too. "You're right...", he mumbled once he shook off whatever had made him freeze in place. He slipped out of his sleeves, once Yujin had pushed every layer down Richards shoulders, before he lay his own hands back on the wolf, to do the same with his clothes, slowly brushing over his skin while doing so and eventually he leaned forward to kiss the scar on Yujins chest he already had been fascinated with before, once he laid it free.

    • In the end, both of them were probably overcompensating for something. One of them had lost his family, his country and most of what he loved, as well as himself among other things and then there was the other, who had everything he could ask for, liked none of it and would very much prefer being left alone, being swept off of his feet and taken away from the little icy prison he called his home. The gods weren't favoring them, but actually, that was fine, there was no need to ask for divine favors, for help, for anything from those above because deep down, even Yujin knew that a futile attempt at being someone was still a futile attempt at trying something - and they didn't need to go into those things, not tonight. "So you have the audacity to make me come here and then not even promise to pay me after I offered you my mouth? Well, I guess that makes me a whore, then", Yujin chuckled. Sure, he could have contested what Richard had said to him, he could have told the blonde that he insisted on payment, but really, this was all in good fun and he didn't want anything, hell, he didn't even consider asking for something in return - they both wanted this, no doubt about it, which also meant that they'd see where the night would take them, where their feelings would and the vial of oil would probably come in handy, wouldn't it? "Nameless? That again?", Yujin inquired, but he didn't even mind. If different names were their safety blankets for nights they didn't need to necessarily remember, so be it - he'd play along, even if that would mean that Richard got to play him like a fiddle. "What will it be then? Arikin? Or not?", the wolf wanted to know, but he didn't actually have an answer for that - he didn't even care much about that either way. The blonde could be who he wanted to be, he'd comply, no questions asked, it was fine that way and if it wasn't, they'd figure something out.

      "A dance? Don't be silly, thrian and adrestian dancing aren't similar at all, aside from that, there's no real need for us to dance." Thria was still barren and despite having their own nobility, their own set of people that could be who they wanted to be, that could just try their earnest to make it up to all of them, Yujin also knew that there was no need for understanding things beyond their comprehension, that it was futile to even try and act like adrestian nobility did - this wasn't their cup of tea. "If we went any slower, we'd slow down to a crawl", the wolf informed Richard, but he wasn't going to let that sit on him, no. Instead, he brought his head up and pressed their lips against one another - he wanted to go back to feeling weightless, out of breath, full of adrenaline. If he were nothing, just a spot on Richards darkening mind, it was fine, he didn't need to be anyone else, he never would have to be, because in the end, the truth was that he was afraid of knowing too much. "I ... yes, but ... I never sat in someones lap before", he admitted, averted his gaze. "Not like this at least." Yujin felt embarrassed, not because he existed, not because he was being pulled into an uncomfortable situation, but rather because he couldn't stand his own words, the signs of weakness he was showing or any of those things. Surely, Richard would understand, he somewhat had to, but for now he sat there and was bright red. His thoughts escaped him the moment Richard stopped moving, just existed for a small amount of time and he wondered if this was what they wanted it to be - if this could be as it should be, or if he'd done something wrong. Well, apparently he hadn't and that made him chuckle even more. "It's good enough to withstand a kiss, but I think a hickey would hurt ... or something", he blabbered. Yujin didn't know if it would, but instead, he just slowly let the blonde do what he wanted to, before he himself felt the heart in his own chest skip a beat, then flare up. Gods, what was this, some sort of body worship? "So it's each others scars for both of us, huh?", the wolf asked, letting his hands wander over Richards arms now that they were exposed, but eventually, he grabbed Richards own again, to bring them up to his mouth one after another and hiss them - this was getting cheesy. "You know, you're good at making me ... no, nevermind. That sounds cheesy."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I have to listen to so much bullshit when you're not doing something useful with your mouth, I think that makes up for it...", Richard joked, but as usual he didn't laugh about it and didn't smile, but Yujin by now knew that Richard often didn't mean what he said, not at all actually, sometimes even quite the opposite. "What would you want as payment? I'm pretty broke...", he still inquire, just because he was curious what Yujin would come up with. He was pretty sure he actually didn't want anything, then again if the wolf hooked up the blonde in the future too, he kind of needed to at least pay for what he consumed. He didn't want anything for free, because he was pitied. "Arikin is fine, Richard is too, it's not like any of these names hold any value.", he answered truthfully. Arikin was just a half wolf that was new here, but quite obviously didn't belong here and no one knew anything about it. Richard was just a fallen prince, who also called nothing his own anymore, so he was without title, without name to himself, no matter which one he used. Richard Callum of Fhaergus didn't exist anymore, here he never would have been someone to begin with. Yujin was a the prince of the two of them, out here, after what happened Richard was nothing more than some peasant.

      It was true that Adrestian and Thrian dances were nothing alike, much as what they called a party wasn't. That probably also explained why Nayantai never ever danced with anyone anywhere, even though Richards father wanted to at home in private sometimes. But only there, none of his fathers had been very public personalities, they kept to themselves and their families and both of them hated any festivities they had to attend, but the former king still dragged his whole family there, because of mentioned manners. "Yeah. I know. We do now after I didn't pick you up on your offer to blow me right away.", Richard explained. Was he too... Adrestian? This wasn't supposed to be a date so they might as well just cut to the chase. Well but kissing Yujin, just as now felt good too, right? Why waste this night with some quick fun, if they could feel good for a much longer time? While they kissed Richard softly wrapped his arms around Yujin and held him were he sat, on his lap. When Yujin explained why he was embarrassed just now though, Richard almost had to chuckle himself, instead he just smiled very shortly, almost grinned. "You never sat on someones lap? I know you're not a girl, but... no let me rephrase. Has ever anyone sit on yours?", he asked once he regained his senses again, looked at Yujin and actually wanted to cover the scar on his neck with his hand, but he didn't. Instead he looked up after kissing Yujins scar. "I think a hickey wouldn't look very good there.", he explained referring to his neck and then looked at Yujin kissing his hands. "Didn't you want to embrace it?", he asked once again referring to their scars and once he got his hands back, he sat up a little bit, to be easier able to reach Yujins face, who sat a little higher than him right now. He used one arm to hold his weight and the other one was again wrapped around Yujins hip, holding him close and letting their bodies touch. Yujin still had to come a little closer if they wanted to kiss, but they were pretty close already. "Good at making you...? Now I want to know..."

    • "Bullshit? Don't make me laugh. So you're telling me that the only time something worthwhile leaves my mouth is when I kiss you?", Yujin asked, knowing fully well that he was playing into Richards trap, or rather, that the two of them were joking around. Why were they, though? There was no need for them to play this elaborate game, they knew one another, they wouldn't just stop knowing one another because they felt like it or even because they needed distraction. "Nothing to pay with either? My, aren't you a strange one? Lucky for you, I'm generous." Yujin was a prince, he could afford to be generous, but even in this made up scenario that hardly qualified as something realistic, he wondered if he'd potentially be able twrap Richard around his finger with a few nice gestures and by reassuring him that the world around him was still his to shape. Whatever the case, he could try, right? "You can pay me with your body by satisfying me, as simple as that", he elaborated and gave the blonde wolf a smile. Weird, wasn't it? Richard would probably have been exiled for his heritage, forced to run away if he'd been born a few years prior, but he wasn't - actually, Yujin would probably face a similar fate and yet, they both stuck together at the end of the world, as if they were fated to meet here, one way or the other. "You are you, with or without a name."

      Was trying even worth it? Yujin felt at a loss, even more so when he gave it more than one thought. They both were already somewhat intoxicated, full of bad ideas, riled up by worse thoughts and all in all, they both amounted to nothing much but two messes that, by all means, were just trying to me, to exist, with or without the other around adnright about now, they found their way into the same orbit. "I bet you would've enjoyed that, though." Daring as ever and with that little hint of, well, not giving a fuck, they both would have probably enjoyed the booze on the dinner table as well and there was no doubt about it that it would have been just as good if they could have never joined that silly little party of his father. That, however, wasn't actually important. Somehow, it felt good to sit there, at a slightly elevated position, in someones lap and at the same time, not only did he feel awkward, he als wondered what it was that made the world go around in this case - it might have been the hug Richard was giving him or the fact that he felt as if the blonde was never going to let go of him ever again. "A few times, but sitting on someones lap kind of ... it gives me the impression of being closer to someone and yet, I'm like the odd one out, I feel somewhat vulnerable, too", he commented. Now that he thought about it, who wouldn't feel seen like this? Actually, the wolf in sheeps clothing had made pretty good work of that and despite there being no audience, Yujins face was still hot, almost burning even. "Yes, but we both did." Now, however, there was another threat looming over him and that, by far, was the hand that wrapped itself around him and yet, he couldn't feel much of it, could only feel where it partially touched skin and fabric. What on earth even ... Richard came ridiculously close, didn't he? "Blush. Making me feel embarrassed and seen, just from the way you're treating me." Yujin bridged the gap between them instead, making their foreheads touch, but not their lips. This was an odd position, wasn't it? "I'm also sure you'd be good at making me scream."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • When was the last time Richard joked like that? When he went back and forth with someone over nothing really? Was this even the right moment? The right person to do it? He was definitely in the mood to it, because he had been down and tired the last week and he needed change, a change of pace and a change of his mood. Maybe Yujin wasn't the right person for this, but then again, who was? Yujin didn't want to commit to Richard and Richard didn't want to commit to Yujin, so they were the perfect fit as long as they had fun, right? "That's what I'm saying...", he smiled, not meaning it, it was nice to listen to Yujin, when he blabbered about something that was totally unnecessary and pretty much normal. Normal was good, something that Richard missed. "With my body, yeah? Wouldn't that make me a prostitute?", Richard asked, but actually he did give much to be honest, he wanted this, enjoyed this and maybe even needed it. But Yujin seemed the same, so what were they? Was Richard his affair? Maybe for one summer and then he'd just vanish? Yujin would marry his girlfriend and that was that, right? "I guess that's true...", he nodded with the faintest of smiles, was being him really enough? Well he probably was, names and titles meant less in Thria than they did in Adrestia and besides, he also didn't care much for titles when he was crown prince.

      "You're pretty sure of yourself.", Richard remarked. Would he mind if Yujin put his mouth to good use? Probably not, but then again, he liked him close, especially today, he liked to kiss and hold him, now that he felt the loneliest he ever felt in his whole life. He wasn't wasted enough to forget about all of that just yet, even though the room slowly filled up with smoke. Was the pipe even still burning though? "I'm sorry...", Richard remarked and looked at Yujin apologetic. "You can get off , if you don't like it." Yujin didn't have to do anything, if he rather held Richard, lay under him or did whatever, it was fine. Richard didn't intend to make him feel uncomfortable. "But you know, you're the one in control now, trapping me under your weight?", he noted and eventually smiled. "You can move wherever you want to move." Maybe Adrestia and Thria was still different, maybe being with a guy was different compared to being with a girl or maybe they weren't as good a fit as they thought. Richards forehead met Yujins and he looked up at him. "You don't like it then.", he concluded, his grip wasn't strong, Yujin could get off of him any time really, he even loosened his grip around him to emphasize that point. "So that's what you want? Scream?", he asked. He actually wanted to kiss Yujin and raised his head a little more, but it wasn't enough to reach him.