bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

This was getting weird, wasn’t it? Speaking with Richard never seemed like the right thing to do, especially when he reached for straws that weren’t there, when he asked for people that no longer liver or when he wanted to know something about those that - despite everyones best efforts - seemingly had left this world behind. Was all that still affecting Richard? Or was it just Yujins presence that felt like a bad omen, that seemingly took things from the blonde that he wanted to forget about? Sure, they all had ways to cope with things but this couldn’t be healthy, not in a million years. Frankly, he was asking for something, for anything, that served as a sign and yet, he received a bit more than that. All of a sudden, the blondes whole demeanor changed and he pushed the wolf away once more - and Yujin wondered, now that he’d heard the sleuth of words directed at him and his own failures, what it must have felt like to be stuck in Richards skin. Somehow, he didn’t want to know and the sole assumption that it would be easier than his own life was going to be the worst opinion he’d ever ever had.

“You don’t need to go anywhere!”, he called after Richard, but the blonde was faster than him, more uncaring than he was and his body also was able to carry his own weight way better. Yujin stumbled after Richard, disgusted by his own lack of balance, by his slow reaction and by the fact that the cold wind blew in through the door, now that Richard had stormed out. There wasn’t much time to put on clothes, or shoes, or anything for that matter and if he was honest, he didn’t care as he forced his body to do his bidding, to run after the blonde and to finally get a move on. It was cold and dark outside and the snow, one with the ice, felt like it was burning itself through his skin to begin with - but now, Richard just stood there, unable to go on himself and Yujin caught up to him. “There ... is really no need to go for a walk dressed like this. Everything’s fine”, he sighed, now that he himself stood there in the snow as well, glancing at the blonde figure. What the fuck was he going to do? Just hope for something to happen? No, that would suffice. Instead, he gently wrapped his hands around Richard and pulled him into a hug - this was nice, wasn’t it? Now they were together and nothing else mattered, as all of this should be. “I’m here, you don’t need to go anywhere”, Yujin reassured him - but why the hell would he even do that? “Let’s go back inside.”

Richard stood there in the snow, with nothing but ice under his bare feet, the wind easily blowing through and under his clothes, but strangely enough Richard didn't feel cold, not at all. He felt nothing in his body, nothing but his pounding heart as well as a pounding headache and his chest tightening more and more. Out here there was nothing, only snow and darkness and that pretty much was what Richard had left. Only this little hut in Thria surrounded by nothing but ice. Nobody was there anymore except maybe Nayantai he couldn't help him, as well as Yujin couldn't help him. He wanted this to be over, his body felt like it was crushed under the weight he carried since he got here and he wanted it to go away, wanted the nightmares to go away for only one night, but instead he was even thinking about his siblings when he was awake, seeing their cold and expressionless faces no matter if he closed his eyes or not. He wanted them back, he wanted his life back in Myriad, he wanted his father back, but he couldn't achieve anything, nothing at all and when he'd try to flee his new life, he wouldn't be able to achieve anything either. But was it worth to just sit here and wait for the day somebody paid a wolf to come here and finish the crownprince off? Couldn't he at least try to kill the killers of his family himself, even if he died doing it? No he couldn't, because he was weak, he couldn't protect anyone, not even himself back then and he couldn't now.

Richard turned his head when he heard Yujins voice, but he didn't exactly like what he heard. He felt his arms as he wrapped them around his body and just felt like he needed to get out immediately and thus he forced his body to shove Yujin aside. Even when he wasn't touched anymore he felt disgusted and he was shaking, not necessarily because of the cold, at least that wasn't all the reason for it. "How can you say that?!", he yelled at him, his eyes clearly asking what the fuck he was thinking. "Nothing's fine, okay?! Don't tell me it is! You don't know anything about me so just mind your own business!" If he had been alone none of this would have happened, he wouldn't have started to think about things he rather didn't, he wouldn't have let his guard down and be swamped by all kinds of emotions when he preferred to feel nothing at all. He wouldn't have needed to run outside for a moment of peace and he wouldn't need to take the shit Yujin was spouting when he had no clue. The wolf didn't lose his brother, or father, or home, or identity, he didn't know what all of this meant for Richard, how he felt and this was exactly the reason he didn't want any friends to begin with. "This is exactly why I told you to... to..." No, not now. Why always in the worst possible moments? And why hadn't he felt this before? Probably because his body had been on edge before, because it hurt and felt numb at the same time, so when Richard felt the tingling in his lefthand fingers, his heart was already giving up, wasn't it? Like it did countless times before and still, it hurt and it was something else Yujin didn't need to know. Usually he was able to gain footing, to tell someone, like Dayan, or to leave the room so others didn't notice, but not now. Richards right hand rushed to his chest and he looked at Yujin trying to figure out what to use his remaining breath for. He opted for "Don't worry.", which probably was a weird thing to hear right before someone collapsed right in front of ones eyes. Richard meanwhile lost control of his body and mind, everything grew hazy when his blood wasn't pumped as it should be anymore and his brain didn't have sufficient oxygen to function properly. Still he remained somewhat awake, though everything was hazy and covered in a thick black cloud. This usually lasted at most a few minutes and still it always felt like forever and he always felt like he was about to die. Now that he almost did because of a blade in his throat he was safe to say that it felt kind of the same.

Richard knew that Yujin was still here and he noticed a change of scenery but that was about it. His mind was clouded and he wasn't really able to catch a coherent thought, his chest still hurt and he wasn't sure if he was even breathing anymore. Whatever Yujin said, he didn't understand it and instead just hoped this would end at some point and his stupid body rebooted as it always did, so he could keep on with his miserable life. Given, this was the first time this had happened in Thria and it wasn't all that common but generally happened in the worst possible situations. He couldn't really tell when, there were no certain triggers, sometimes he was exhausted from climbing, or running and his heart decided to stop, sometimes he just sat around, without doing much and it still happened. This was something else Yujin wasn't supposed to know about Richard and he had enough of all this, just wanted to be alone, after being in Yujins company for days. He didn't help him, he could try as he might, but that didn't change anything. He didn't know Richard and good faith alone was not fixing him, it made it somehow worse. Probably because Yujin didn't know when to shut up and when to leave him alone, not everyone wanted to have company all the time and Yujin had literally taken away all the space to breath.

Richard coughed as his heart decided to pump a reasonable amount of times again with enough pressure and whatever it needed to do. He turned to the side, because it made it easier to breath, he needed to catch some air and he needed to get rid of the pain in his body. He found himself back in his bed, well that hadn't been necessary, Yujin could have just waited a while and Richard would have been able to walk back inside on his own. He coughed some more, pressed his hand on his chest and looked past his blonde hair towards Yujin. "That wasn't necessary...", he grumbled and knitted his brows. "That just... happens... from time to time...", he explained, there was nothing much to it, no one was able to do anything against it and all he could do was live with it. He had been alone before and managed that, Dayan hadn't always been there for him, so he needed no one to save him. Given, if that were to happen while he was out hunting this could be a problem, but if a wild animal found him while he was unable to move an inch, then that was tough luck and probably fate. He couldn't let himself be hindered by this and his father had always encouraged him, probably because he himself had been locked up for way too long. And yet he also was the reason this happened in the first place... why wasn't he lucky as his grandfather was, he had been strong and had no such problems at all. His sight was getting worse gradually, but that came with age, Richard was 17 and his heart was failing him. For now he slowly forced himself to sit up again, not sure what to do now. He was tired but at least what had bothered him earlier wasn't anymore.

"I'm sorry...", Richard mumbled, he didn't know why, but well he was the reason Yujin followed him outside in the cold, he was the reason he probably was freezing even more than before and when he wasn't even able to leave the room before, what meant that now that he ran outside after Richard and then carried him back in? Richard knew that was stupid, but for one, he had lost control, he just needed to get out, away, but he couldn't get away from what was haunting him and from himself, from those thoughts and images that circled in his head. He was weak, because he did the worst job at dealing with all of this. People like Nayantai had seen much worse and yet he wasn't a total mess. He was in a way too, but he'd never freaked out, had never yelled for seemingly no reason. Well and that his heart was going to mess with him on top of that had been unforeseeable too. It always was and he didn't mean to have Yujin drag him back, he... actually he had no concrete plan but at some point he'd gone back inside again, right? Why was all of this so hard? Everything should be fine, right? Just as Yujin had said, everything was fine, Richard was save and it was his fault alone that he was a complete mess, while the world kept turning, he was a broken gear, not fitting anymore, rustling and creaking while it tried to get in sync with all the other components.

For some reason Richard forced himself to stand up and make a step towards Yujin, he grabbed his hand and basically tore his clothes out of his grip, throwing them back on the floor. "Don't be stupid too. It's pitch black outside. Nayantai will take you home if you want, tomorrow, when the sun is up.", he said and the way he said it, calm and reasonable, freaked even himself out a little bit. "Do you still want to be my friend?", he asked, still holding Yujins hand in his own and he could even stand looking into those blue eyes, or at least into what he was able to see in the dim light of the fireplace that crackled in one corner of the room. His brain must have been without oxygen for way too long, he couldn't explain his own actions otherwise, but maybe he simply didn't want to be alone, he didn't want to all along, but he probably knew how he'd end up one way or the other. Broken, crying, running away and of course his heart failed him too, no one needed to see that and Richard was damn sure, that no one was really able to understand him, yet besides the last topics, Yujin also managed to keep the blondes mind from all those horrible things at times. Still, what was he doing now, only thinking about the fact that Yujin had wanted to start combing his hair, before all of that went downhill. Did he wish that he'd just be able to go back to that moment, before he went crazy? "Forget it...", he mumbled and slowly let go, about to go back into bed. This wasn't fair, treating Yujin like that and Richard couldn't discern who of them was wrong and who was right, with their actions and their words. He didn't know if his reaction was reasonable, or if he was just being an asshole again, well maybe he should continue being exactly that.

Frostbites were a nasty thing and for one, Yujin was happy that he wasn’t going to get one just from standing out there for a few minutes - and while Richard still looked good, as good as he could in that situation anyway, he felt as if this also meant, to some degree, that they’d feel even worse tomorrow and before that was the case, he wanted to get out of there and just look for a way home, figure out where everything was once all of his surroundings, save for the snowwhite ground, turned pitchblack and started melting into one another. This, however, wasn’t something that was actually going to happen, not according to Richard anyway ... wait, what? Yujin just looked after his clothes that were sent flying, mainly in some state of disbelief, all before he finally eyed the smaller figure that actually took his hand into his own and to say the least, Yujin was confused. “There’s ... really no need to be sorry”, he exclaimed, still unsure whether or not he was supposed to look after his heap of clothes that were thrown out of his hands just seconds ago or if the poor, blonde boy in front of him was going to rip his hand off and have another outburst. Gods, what was he even thinking? Why was all of this getting so ridiculous?

“I can go home on my own but if you won’t let go of me, I guess I have no choice and stay. Fine then”, he sighed and finally abandoned his plan. Yujin wasn’t going anywhere then, only back to bed, especially now that Richard wasn’t going to let go of him - and asked another ridiculous question. Just what in the world was going on? Were they both losing their marbles equally or was the blonde just some guy that had finally said to himself to fuck it all? Whatever the case, now that they stood there and he couldn’t force an answer out of his throat, he wondered what it was that made the two of them be so stubborn - and all the while he did, Richard let go and seemingly wanted to go back to bed. “You’re ridiculous”, he chimed in, then chuckled, just slightly, nothing more than that. “Why wouldn’t I?”, he asked, grabbing Richards wrist himself and hindering him from throwing himself back onto the bed, he was probably mulling over something stupid. Yujin knew that his own body felt weak, that he was still miserable, but he wasn’t going to force himself onto Richard, not like this, even though he wanted to hug him, give him comfort and swallow his own anger, but ... he probably shouldn’t do most of those things. “I’m not.” A quick but somewhat pained smile appeared on his face, one that seemingly was made for Richard and the influence he had on Yujin so far, but after that, the wolf just didn’t care, closed the distance between them, wrapped his arms around Richard and, once he did, let himself fall backwards onto the bed with the half-sheep atop of him. “So what now, you sad sap? Do you want to stay like that or ...” Yujin actually brought one of his hands up, back to Richards hair, and brushed over it. “Want me to comb that?”

Richard would be wrong feeling sorry for not being okay, for being a complete mess because of unforeseen circumstances, but he wasn't wrong to say he's sorry for causing Yujin even more trouble. Didn't he do that all the time despite wanting to be able to stand on his own two feet? Despite wanting to be strong and capable? Yet he constantly was reminded that he was not and Yujin had to drag him into his bed two times already, while he himself was sick too. Richard wondered how he even survived and also why. He kind of wanted to talk about it, but for some reason he couldn't, his body just didn't let him, no matter how often his brain told it to, he just didn't manage to open his mouth. In the end, why would he talk to Yujin about all of this, he always asked the wrong questions and he still didn't know the whole story, as well as he didn't seem to care all too much. When he told him his siblings were dead and Nayantai had dragged him here, he didn't ask any further and he didn't seem to worry about the former king that had always protected the wolves for the last year was dead and that his son wouldn't be king to continue the relations to Thria. He didn't even seem to think about the possiblity that those who had continued the war for so long were the ones ruling Adrestia again now. He could not care about Richard all he wanted, but in the end it would effect him too.

At least he agreed to stay, while Richard was kind of unable to talk, just because the things he wanted to say didn't cross his lips. Not that he was able to form a coherent thought to begin with. In his head there was chaos as most of the time, thoughts about the past, about the assassination and himself, he didn't know who he was and who he was supposed to be anymore, he didn't even know who he wanted to be and thus he probably confused Yujin most of the time. He was about to part when Yujin was the one grabbing him once more. Richard could think of many reasons Yujin just wanted to get away from him, in the end this had been his goal, right? Richard looked at him somewhat confused, why did he hold him back now, didn't let him go? Richard wondered if he hurt him, but in the end he felt his arms wrapped around himself again and then he lost footing, only to land on Yujin who himself landed in the bed again. Richard lifted his head to look at Yujin, he still was surprised and didn't know what he wanted in the first place. He let him touch his blonde hair, hair Yujin probably never touched or saw before he met Richard and tried to at least become himself again a little more. "I asked you if you want to be my friend, not my boyfriend.", he let out without his expression changing to anything that would suggest this was a joke. Well it was, somehow, but he wasn't all too good at telling jokes. Either way, this position wasn't very comfortable and it probably also wasn't for Yujin, so Richard rolled off of him, next to Yujin, only to crawl back under his blanket without being in some weird position. "Make yourself comfortable first...", he mumbled.

Both of them had their own issues and Yujin had come to accept that was a fact, if not as something that seemingly was like a thing he should have expected. It was stupid to think about, odd to give it a thought, but none of that amounted to much - not on the account of the fact that the reality surrounding them could be a harsh one and now, Yujin felt somewhat responsible for Richard, too. Why, he didn’t know, but he brushed through the blondes hair once more before he fled out of his grasp, off of him, away from their constant touching and their scalding skin finding another hear source. Was this all they could do? Be with each other but avoid each other, too? Wasn’t that an idiotic way of thinking? Whatever it may be, though, the wolf didn’t care enough. Now that he was with Richard, now that they put some of their differences aside, all of this wasn’t too bad. Whyever he’d found himself agreeing to staying where he was, or had not dashed off to begin with, he didn’t actually know himself - the only thing he knew was, that none of this was going to amount to anything if he didn’t pay attention and thus, right about now, he’d just make things better for both of them, even though Richard had gotten out of his grasp. Wasn’t that stupid?

“So you’d consider a boyfriend? What if I asked you out?”, he joked, feeling as if Richard was not doing anything else - and therefore, he grinned at him, maybe as wolfishly as he could, only to now find himself lying there, only to be told that he actually shouldn’t be. Silence was all there was and now, he wondered if none of this was going to help - if he was just playing another game with Richard, but alas, he didn’t care. His only intention was to be with Richard, spend time with him - and maybe make his life just a bit better, more enjoyable that it was right now, right? Why was he even thinking about boyfriends and stuff like that? The wolf sat up, crawled over the bed, right next to Richard and made himself comfortable - he didn’t even want anything else. “Now I am”, Yujin expressed, grabbing the comb and getting ahold of Richards hair. Now, the thing was, he had no experience with hair that was so different from his own, so he went slowly, even though he soon enough found know in it that this comb wouldn’t magically get rid of. “Wait, if you never had a girlfriend, did you at least have a boyfriend?” Why the fuck was he asking that right now anyway? Wait, that had been a joke, right?

Richard was waiting for Yujin to crawl back under one of the blankets, to lean back and not have his body lie there in an uncomfortable position. Well he did at some point, moving back into bed with Richard, that was a weird thought, wasn't it though? "I'd remind you that you have a girlfriend, unless you made her up.", Richard simply answered, because there was no point thinking about hypotheticals anyway. Aside from that, he didn't even look for a friend, why would he now want a deep relationship with someone? He watched Yujin picking up the comb again and he let him comb through his blonde hair, well he let him try. He didn't need to be too careful with it, but apparently he was and yet Richard kind of made a mess of his hair when he had slept and turned. Why did he even let him do all that? It was weird sitting here and let the wolf comb through his hair, it was weird enough to let him take care of Richard, but there seemed to be no way out of his grasp anyway. In the end he was a prince and probably used to getting whatever he wanted and if it was a rare sheep that fled his country, well it was just that apparently.

Richard rolled his eyes to the side to look at Yujin without moving his head too much, since the Thrian was busy with his hair. "I didn't. Not exactly easy in Adrestia.", he answered, though he generally didn't have something against the idea, he also had met males he had found attractive at times and Yujin probably wasn't so bad looking himself, but in Adrestia only a generation ago, people were killed for being gay, be it two men or two women engaging in something romantically, or sexual. His fathers generations together with the wolves fought those old believes, but it never had been easy, in the end it all was seen as the wolves swamping Adrestia with their believes suddenly, because their new king was so fond of them and some even said Nayantai had bewitched him. Executing someone for who he loved got illegal, but that didn't mean that anyone just blatantly admitted to who he was. Even Rain never said it out loud, Nayantai never was legally Richards father in Adrestia and even though his parents were married before Thrian gods, Dayan never was up for debate to being the next king. In Thria it was probably different, though Richard didn't know all too much about it and he never had been treated as one of many princes in Thria... their system made no sense anyway by the way. Richard wasn't quite sure what being Nayantais adoptive son made him here, but he also didn't care much and as for his aunts land and the right to Thrians throne, that went to all of his cousins first anyway.

“Unfortunately”, Yujin started, still trying to get rid of the knots in Richards hair. “My girlfriend is made of flesh and blood and some more things, so she’s very much real. Though, if she wasn’t”, now why wasn’t he just finishing that sentence? Actually, he looked at Richard, at the back of his head that he faced, as if that was going to answer something. No, it wasn’t, it would never and to be honest, the last time he’d had a boyfriend was, well, never. Sure, he’d slept with people, gender had never mattered to anyone in Thria to begin with, but ... things could change, right? Who cared about the second prince and if he had any heirs or not, who gave a fuck who he’d promise the rest of his life to? In the end, the answer boiled down to one thing and that thing had a name - which, unfortunately for Yujin, was Shuren of Silesse. “I wouldn’t mind considering you in her stead”, he chuckled as he got rid of a particularly nasty knot. Gods, was adrestian hair that feeble and needed that much care? Whatever, he’d figure something out without urging Richard to cut those pesky strands of straw short - there had to be a way to keep them as they were. But after that, what then? “Hypothetically of course.”

Then, he listened to what his little grumpy prince had to say and if Yujin thought about it, Richard still was considered to be a prince by all means, or wasn’t he? His father was supposed to be king and enough people that had no blood ties to the royal family of Thria were considered to be princes or princesses - so why wouldn’t Richard be considered a prince, too? “Oh, right. Most of you still think that we’re some backwards thinking monsters made out of animal carcasses come to life by dark magic and that we feed on your meat to sustain our unholy existence - some adrestians are really fucked up, but the same goes for thrians, specifically those in Daein.” If one were to think about it, as much as Daein and Wezette coexisted by now, it was evident that there had been a deep-running conflict and the effects of that, of the cannibalization of hundreds of sheep, had only served to fuel the fire. And yet, all of this was somehow fixable, but not entirely. Yujin combed away, wanted to rid Richard of any pain, now that neither of them had actually cared for themselves for days - and that was all there was to do. “Hm, speaking of which, do you even know what Daein is, or used to be?”

What was Yujin even saying there? "Are you hitting on me?", he asked somewhat confused and surprised and actually a lot of other things he couldn't describe. Hell it had been a joke when he said he didn't ask him to be his boyfriend, now Yujin talked like he wanted to be just that. They didn't know each other really well, only because he dragged Richard in his bed didn't mean anything and if he had to guess, he had said that Yujin was just the kind of guy that wanted something that was new and exotic and that also wasn't so easy to get. There was no way he knew what he was saying right now and if anything he didn't want a boyfriend, but some kind of trophy. Richard didn't even hold that against him, he didn't believe Yujin thought of this, it just was the underlying truth he didn't see himself, wasn't it? What other reason was there for him to talk like he did now. That also made all the physical contact very different didn't it and if he truly hit on him, all of those cuddles actually made sense all of a sudden, didn't they? "I think your fever must have climbed again.", he mumbled, but he didn't turn to check it out, instead he let Yujin fumble with his hair.

"To be fair, you did feed on our meat.", Richard answered, but all of that wasn't really an issue for him. He grew up having a wolf as father, a half wolf as grandfather, another wolf as his brother and he himself was half wolf too. So what was there to it? There were almost more Thrian genes in his family than not, the twins had been half wolf too. "Some pace near Wezette were they used to eat people, but hey they didn't eat my dad, so that's a plus.", he answered. He had to study Adrestia and Thria as a future king, not that he always paid attention though, but fact was, he was not clueless. He knew some things about Thria, he probably knew more about Thria than Yujin did about Adrestia, but there also were a lot things, especially in a remote place like Silesse, that he didn't know. Too bad he also knew that there was no magic, neither black nor white, otherwise he'd found some use for that. "It's not like I don't know anything about Thria, Nayantai did raise me too after all.", he explained, but actually he didn't know much more about Daein either and he also didn't know what the answer was that Yujin had expected and where he was going with this.

"Uhm... thanks I guess.", Richard replied, not sure if that answer was truly correct. Well whatever it was, Yujin had to deal with it while Richard didn't need to do anything about it. He already was used to Yujin and just how he was, at least so much that he didn't get angry at him all the time, only sometimes. He could sit with him, talk with him, even be nice to him, that was progress. Richard still wasn't sure if he wanted all that. As someone who lost almost everyone he loved in an instant, he now seemed scared to lose anybody else. If nobody came close to him, he couldn't lose them, this was pretty textbook wasn't it? He could even admit it, because he didn't see any flaw in his logic, but Yujin just wouldn't stop trying to get close, would he? Well maybe after all of this he had enough of Richard and needed some time out anyway. "I... what happened has nothing to do with any fever, or rest. It just... happens and then it stops. It's not all too regularly so you don't need to worry about it. You might not want to talk to Nayantai about it though..." He'd just worry for no good reason.

"I know all that, my father kind of stopped that.", Richard informed Yujin who seemed to forget who sat right in front of him sometimes. He wasn't just some sheep, he at least had been the crown prince of Adrestia at some point and almost everyone in Gaia knew who Rain of Fhaergus was, no matter if Adrestian or Thrian. "Besides, I also saw those teeth first handed... a lot actually, even though my grandfather used to hide them." Yujin didn't have to explain all of that to him, not at all actually, this was basic stuff after all, even other nobles in Adrestia probably learned about it. Richard looked slightly over his shoulder when the tugging on his hair stopped and Yujin put the comb away. "It sounds like you don't know about what Adrestians did." For example Olette and the king himself. Not that anyone had told Richard any details, but he knew enough. "I usually don't run around and just kiss people I find attractive. Do you do that?", Richard asked somewhat confused, who the hell behaved like that? "There were plenty of girls to kiss." Did he need to add that? Well it didn't matter much because it was in the past. Technically he could have kissed anybody, but it was just hard in Adrestia if you tried to figure out how someone felt about others. Adrestians always kept secrets and openly admitting to a gay relationship wasn't anything easy there. They had enough other reasons for hating Richard, but what about some poor noble boy, or servant? His life may have been ruined by just a kiss. When Richerd tried to think about someone he truly wanted to kiss hwoever, no names came to mind.

"What's wrong with that?", Richard asked when Yujin just started laughing for him thanking him? "What else am I supposed to say? Do you want me to tell you you're pretty too?" maybe that was just it, well Yujin wasn't ugly. His eyes were pretty damn dashing and the blue color reminded him not of Silesse or the wolves in general, but about home and his fathers and grandfathers blue eyes - if they hadn't become dull that was. His hair was kind of impressive and his body was fine... why did Richard even think about all of that stuff now? "My heart just... stops sometimes.", Richard started to explain and forgot about all those other weird thoughts. Now he thought about Yujin who already saw seemingly all of Richard and thus he saw no reason in telling him off this time, better he knew what he had dealt with. "Well it's not necessarily stopping all together, it still pumps, but not enough, there's times you won't find a pulse or hear a heartbeat. I just... was born with this. Weak hearts lie in the family. My grandfather was fine, but he had an aunt who wasn't, my father isn't... wasn't either, though he had it much worse than me. Well and I'm one of the unlucky Fhaergus sprouts as well, no wolf blood saved me from that. But usually I have some more time to prepare, it doesn't happen that suddenly most of the time." Was that enough of an explanation? No one really knew what caused this anyway, so he couldn't really tell him more. He could tell him how it felt and what happened to his body, but that went a little far, didn't it?

"He saved their butts, they better can stand him.", Richard gave back almost grumbling a little bit. He always felt somehow angry when wolves where the ones complaining about his father, when he clearly gave them back all of their damn country. Well whatever, especially in Silesse no one really care, that was probably the reason Richard was here now, right? "It's weird to talk about my grandfather, or father, or Nayantai like they are just some people in a history book. They kind of are, but still. It's also weird everyone knows something about them, thinks to know who they are or were and tell stories.", he thought out loud while listening to Yujin. He probably knew how that felt, many people also knew the names of his fathers, or at least Shurens. Richard did too, even though he wasn't able to connect the face to the stories he had heard. "My grandfathers father was from Daein I think.", he came back to their actual topic and then Yujin suddenly proclaimed that he was done. Richard touched his hair and sighed a little. "Doesn't that look pretty ridicolous? Especially when it's this short?", he commented on his hair instead of any more girls or boys he might have or might have not kissed. Instead he turned towards Yujin a little. "What now?"

“Hearing thank you as an answer to a compliment is just odd. Not that I expect you to compliment me, too, but that just caught me off guard.” Yujin was the one that clearly was thinking about all of this a tad bit too much, that was interpreting things that weren’t there into situations that were and then he wondered if Richard, of all people, was even willing to receive a single compliment for literally any tangible reason. “It ... stops?”, he asked, confused and somewhat worried that, in the end, he was the one that did something stupid and that nothing would save him from that, especially not his own idealism. Sure, maybe some of these things were endurable, maybe others were more understandable, but they both were stuck with one another and now that there was no way out anyway, why wouldn’t they spend some time together and give one another the deserved attention? Yujin listened almost insistently to the following explanation, trying to follow the foreign words and figuring out if all of this was even worth it, if it was good enough for both him and his insatiable hunger for knowledge, but it sufficed. “So your own heart hates you? I’m sorry, but I’ll try my best to help where I can!” Not that he had much of a different choice anyway.

“Don’t get me wrong, we’re grateful - but there’s always people, especially those old and bitter, that’ll never be, simply because people are stupid”, and Yujin wasn’t wrong about that. Sure, his older brother was happy a out how this turned out, his parents were happy about the situation and appreciative to some degree, all of this was nothing more than something that people either did or didn’t do. “My parents have been friends with Nayantai since their childhood and they at least proved to be good allies to your father, maybe even weird and eccentric friends, so I know some stories about the two of them, but yes, I get what you mean. It’s about as annoying when someone tells me stories about my dads.” Neither Shuren or Muhan wanted to be seen was heroes, but somehow they were, simply because sometimes, things just did’t change and just sometimes, this world was smaller than everyone anticipated. In the end, however, no matter what stories he heard, his parents were still nothing more than that, he didn’t want to know something or someone else. “It would make sense, actually. Why else would he have sharp teeth?”, Yujin proposed, but there was no grandfather around to ask and even if he did, that didn’t mean anything, did it now? “Slightly, but it’ll grow out eventually AND this is going to save your hair from knotting up again and having you fix it once more.” Both of them where still sick, couldn’t do much and that was the extend of their ailment. “Are you tired yet?”

"What else am I supposed to say?", Richard asked at a loss. He truly didn't know what an appropriate answer would have been. Nothing at all? Wouldn't that be just weird? Did Yujin even know himself? Well Richard had no other answer and giving one now would only be weird anyway. "Don't worry about my heart. I live with that since I am born and as I said, I should have some peace for a while now that it happened again. Just... maybe, if you truly want to help and this happens again... make sure I lie on my side... makes it easier to breath...", Richard replied murmuring. Usually Dayan would have picked him up and would have helped him. Sometimes he had talked to Richard during those times, though he wasn't able to understand a thing. He was kind of trained to help him, it was the only way they could just go about their business, but on the other hand Dayan often felt responsible for Richard and didn't want to leave him behind. Maybe if Richard hadn't been like this, his brother would have been able to do whatever he liked, be away for a while, or... whatever, Richard didn't really know about that, but he did know that now that he wasn't here anymore it felt weird.

"Well then they better don't cross my path.", Richard let out and sighed deeply. For some reason he got really upset when people, especially wolves, weren't greatful for the peaceful lives they now had. Even now with his father that and Richard not being anyone anymore, he still wanted to protect his fathers legacy, even if he was mad at him for the mess he left behind. "It feels like they talk about different people and at the same time they think they know them, when they don't.", Richard added and just hoped no one would bother him. Everyone here probably knew Nayantai, so Richard couldnt expect people to not get who he was at some point and even if not, being Nayantais son probably was enough for them to generate some rumors. "If I comb them daily it's not a problem, but I didn't.", Richard explained his hair, well, he didn't mind the braid too much, Yujin was the only one here. "I was tired before. It's not exactly relaxing when my heart gives out, even if my body shuts down at that moment."

"If it's woth anything... your eyes are quite nice...", Richard mumbled and it was true, wasn't it? "I feel like everyone in Silesse looks kind of the same. Long black hair, dark eyes, smooth skin for some reason or the other and maybe a little less... defined regarding their faces compared to Adrestians. It is... weird, in Adrestia we have brown hair, red hair, black hair, blondes, green eyes, blue, all shades of brown... Silesse feels very... uncolored to me. The snow, everything is white and maybe a little bit of blue, when there are clouds not even the sun provides some other colors and it is awfully quiet. No matter where in Adrestia you find yourself, especiall at my home, you just needed to open a window and heard all kinds of different birds and insects, or other animals, here it's just the wind.", he explained but tried to get back to the point. "Your eyes are different, maybe I'd take green over blue, but at least they have some color to them." Was that even a compliment? Well it was the best Richard could do and all the while he just looked at his hands. Then he looked at Yujin again and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't have much of a choice but enduring it. But it really isn't that bad and it's no use living by fear it happens in a moment I rather have it not happen, so I don't bother thinking about it too much." It could have happened when he fell into the icy waters and he would have just drowned, but he could also some day fall, because he cought on too late and crack his head open, because his body wasn't reacting anymore.

"You can help me beat them up, you pack a good punch.", he answered, now that was a compliment and Richard let his hand touch the still swollen part of his face right below his eye that probably was still a little discolored. "Well anyway, I won't let you comb my hair every day.", he soon after made clear, he'd just need to do it himself in the morning, but while lying here sick there hadn't been a point to it, or at least he hadn't been motivated to do that. Richard looked up at the ceiling, actually he felt a little dizzy, but that would go by, still he closed his eyes for now, Yujin lay beside him and still didn't want to sleep apparenty. Did Richard want to? No, he'd just have another nightmare. "You could tell me something about yourself for a change. Something normal.", he suggested and let his hand stop with his face. When he rested his arm back on the bed there were Yujins hair all over again, everywhere really, this was kind of ridicolous. He wondered what it would mean for Yujin if someone were to cut them off, would it hurt him or would he just not care?