bloodbound. (earinor & akira)

Now, he had no idea what to say - well, Richard probably prefered him not saying anything anyway, so it was only fine for him to remain silent as he was and stay where he was, in his lane, all the while he kept his chin up and thought about it one too many times again. He was right, as much as Yujin hated to admit it, he was and the sole reason for thatwas, among other things, that none of this felt like it was worth any damn second. If he just swallowed down his pride, stopped playing pretend, then it was alright, no? But now, he'd already boasted about how good he was to Richard, had told him that a mere dive in the sea wasn't going to make someone like him sick, when it clearly had. If anything, he was pretty pretentious, wasn't he? A sigh escaped from his lips and actually, he was going to get up, go home and not think about it for too long - that was the only solution he could come up with, or rather the best thing in his mind right now. Much like Richard not wanting to show him his own weaknesses, Yujin felt as if the time that slipped through his fingers while trying to argue was something he'd rather not spend on bullshit like that.

Making bad jokes was something that he, theoretically, tended to be good at, but they weren't meant as genuinely as he meant them now and that resulted in something that made no sense, didn't it? There was food he could eat or a warm blanket he could wrap himself into, yet he looked like some sort of beast had just spat him out, most likely at least and as if there was nothing to enjoy because he couldn't taste it to begin with. "Dunno, it just came to mind. I like joking around", Yujin joked, half-assedly at least and then shook his head. There really were no marbles left in that head of his, weren't there? Right now, he was probably more pathetic than someone that genuinely had emotions like these to spare, that didn't try his best to pretend and act like everything was alright, but if he was absolutely certain, Richard wasn't any better, was he now? "Nice", he mumbled as he leaned back, closed his eyes for a second and then looked at Richard, back at himself and gave in to a good sigh. "I give up", Yujin suddenly declared. "My ears are buzzing, I feel gross and sweaty and all my appetite just vanished - if I get up, I'll probably fall face first onto your floor, just like you yesterday."

Was he going to let himself be overtaken by the things he felt, by the stuff that sounded like it only would get worse from here on out, or was he fine with just admitting to being himself, that there was no reason to be prideful, to brag around someone that was akin to him, yet so very different? There was only one way to find out and as for that, he didn't even feel like thinking too much right now, lest it would hurt his head more than it already did. Thinking wasn't his strong suit and that was fine. "I don't want to be a bother tough, if you want me to leave, I'll get up and leave", he responded, all because he could just say that - because he was himself after all and stupid ideas weren't anything that was terrible out of the ordinary. Surely, all of this boiled down to something, let him feel like he was worth a bit more than he thought himself to be, but in the end, he came crashing back down and paid the price for the things he did. Yujin sat aside the bowl of soup on Richards nightstand, as if that where it belonged to begin with - there was no need to force himself to eat something if he clearly didn't want to.

Instead, he watched the blonde figure get up, walk to the door and he himself turned over to put the pillows he'd been offered to where Richard took them from - right now, he just wanted to curl up and shut the world out, sleep for a while and then have it be as it was. "No, it's fine - I don't want to cause anyone more work than it's worth and knowing my parents, they won't panic unless they don't hear from me for a week", Yujin suddenly admitted. It wasn't that his parents didn't care for him, in fact, they sometimes knew him better than he himself did, but that was all. For now, it would be fine to just leave them in the dark and now, he was patting the spot next to him on the bed. "Stop standing around and get in here, you wanted to go back to sleep yourself, didn't you? There's no need to tell anyone anything", the wolf insisted, now that he'd rearranged what Richard had put up for him in the first place, just so that both of them would have a somewhat comfortable sleep.

Yujin didn't need to say anything anymore, huh? In the end, he was Richards guest and supposed to accept what he was offered, but it still felt somewhat wrong to just admit to being okay with it. Didn't he take all of this too far? Or was he just stupid enough to insist to himself that he was nothing more than a burden like this that couldn't help but give in to all of the things that were happening around him? The wolf eventually grabbed what was there after Richard had settled, lay down himself and showed the blonde nothing but his back, almost as if he didn't want to be seen like this and almost as if all the things that occupied him were just going to be distracting to both of them. Silence was all there was and while he listened to the things from beyond their door for a while, it became apparent very soon that his bedmate had drifted off to the lands of sleep - and that he'd follow him suit not so long after all of this had started. Surely, there were better options, or more elegant, gracious options for all of this, but Yujin didn't feel like he wanted or needed any of them. In fact, why was he even going to ask?

Eventually, he himself drifted off as well, didn't notice when it overcame him, but all that was left was a particular feeling of emptiness and some scratching in his throat that, at some point, woke him up. How long had he slept for? Yujin didn't know, his dreams had been black splotches of emptiness and Richard was still laying there, in fact, Yujin himself had actually cuddled up to the blonde for some odd reason that he couldn't explain, but it felt nice, among all the darkness that surrounded him, the fact that his brain felt akin to soup in a bowl and his eyes like they had been glued shut. It most likely was late and he didn't want to wake anyone up, so he just pressed his face back against the blankets, against Richards body, and let the topic at hand be, he wanted to sleep some more, but he couldn't, was sweating all over and yet he felt grossly cold, despite being huddled up under some blankets. Everything about this sucked and Richard had been right, he was sick, but he also had a broken nose that definitely wasn't benefiting from his current position, yet, Yujin didn't even care one bit.

Something shifted, moved, really, just for a second, something changed - it was Richards breathing, as it seemed, now that he was almost glued to the blonde. This was getting ridiculous, how could he tell? Because it suddenly was so erratic, so different from before and sounded like he was forcing himself to swallow the air around him, rather than taking it in for a moment and then letting go of it? In the end, it sounded weird to him and Yujin wasn't sure what was happening. Richard didn't seem like he had a nice sleep, or rather, something had woken him up and he wondered where that all would lead - needed to know what it was that bothered him, but instead, he couldn't do anything, except lay one of his arms around him in the clouded haze that he was in right now. Was this all there was he could do, though? His throat felt dry and his eyelids heavy, but he still had enough feeling in his arm to move that, so why not try to move other things of his body to begin with? Maybe that would just spook Richard, so he remained like this for a while, just to not stir up trouble, at least not more than he had to.

Yujin wondered what it was, but all the clues he had were the fact that the blonde felt like he was left alone in this world, like everything around him came crashing down and like nothing was going his way, wasn't it that? Quite frankly, he wasn't supposed to intrude, or to ask unncessary questions, instead, he just hugged Richard with that one arm, since forcing the other one beneath him seemed almost impossible to him. "It's fine, I'm here", he mumbled, half-asleep as he was. Was this going to turn into some sort of regular thing? Yujin wouldn't mind, he had time to spare, at least right now, but then again, he couldn't be here forever, couldn't offer a theoretical stranger some comfort when said stranger didn't want him to commit to it, but that was all he could try to do, all he could do for the two of them and the only thing he'd most likely do, just do keep them both on their feet. Again, Yujin rubbed his hand over Richards arm, that had somehow helped the last time, when he did it to the blondes back, no?

He, on the other hand, was forced to stop what he was doing, still, he didn't pull his hand back. Yujin knew that he hadn't been asked or invited to do this, yet he couldn't leave Richard like that, knowing he was feeling horrible or something along those lines, just from a dream - but what else was he supposed to do? He knew that there was no escaping it, at least he thought there wasn't and the sole misconception about having to figure out all of this on their own, well, why wouldn't they both assume it was the right way to handle things? The wolf grabbed the hand that his own was held with and huddled up a bit closer to the blonde, as if he wanted to tell him that he was going nowhere, that this was just fine the way it was and that it was stupid to think about anything else. "You aren't", he simply replied, head hazy with too many thoughts, occupied with making sense of the things at hand and almost glad over the fact he couldn't actually see a lot of them. For one, he knew that he needed the sleep, but on the other hand, he couldn't just pass out like that and not give Richard some much needed help, not as long as he felt well enough to offer it. "You didn't, don't worry ... I woke up on my own", Yujin mumbled, exhausted as he was from just being awake like this.

In the end, he now lay there, closer to Richard than he needed to be and still holding that hand of his, that was just supposed to stop him like this. Next, he actually shoved his other hand between the blankets the blonde had cuddle up in and the bed under him, to hold him close, to pull him back into his arms and accept this situation for what it was - a fucking mess. "Is this better?", Yujin wanted to know, not knowing left from right to begin with and if his newfound friend didn't want this, he could just get out of his grasp, yes? He seemed to be strong enough, yet still upset and now that he was here, he felt like the only one that could actually help Richard out and tell him that everything he was doing was fine, better than doing nothing, than remaining silent and swallowing his pain, all of those things that just didn't sit right with him. "If you want, you can turn around, you know." All of that came out of his mouth sounding so odd, so silent and almost wordless that he wondered if Richard even heard him, or if he just thought that he had difficulty breathing with a clogged and still broken nose, or if this wasn't the case at all and he just couldn't hear himself all that well.

He had really roped himself into something now, hadn't he? As long as it didn't anger Richard, Yujin guessed it was fine, but it still was odd to lay here and just hold someone that obviously was having a hard time, despite knowing him. Maybe it was just intuition, or the fact that he was - very much - sick and finally willing to admit it, but whatever it was, it didn't matter, as much as it didn't matter if he spent the rest of the night in this bed or on the floor. Whatever was plagueing the blonde was not important, all the wolf cared about was, in fact, that he was suffering right now and despite his current state, he still felt like he had to care for Richard, had to give him a moment and hold him close, almost as if he was telling him that this was fine, that nothing bad was happening or coming for him, just because he lay there and slept. "I'm ... holding you close?", Yujin explained, nothing more than that was needed and if the blonde wanted to get out of the hug, he'd find that it wasn't tight at all, but maybe still a bit too close for comfort, actually.

"I want to", he insisted, like he really had a choice. It had helped the other day, so why wouldn't it help right now? Wasn't it stupid to think all of this was just happening because the world around them revolved around nothing much, came forward and brought about nothing, or was it all because he - Yujin - was not sure what to do with the person in his arms other than what felt right? Maybe this looked out, definitely did to outsiders, but all in all, this was everything there needed to be, wasn't it? In the end, he finally brought Richards own hand back down to his chest, so that he could keep hugging him. "You don't need to." Why would he insist on something so stupid anyway and why was all of that just the courtesy of his own thinking, the thoughts he came up with but never necessarily had? Yujin felt odd himself, but mainly because of what seemed like a pounding headache or rather his general health right now. Stupid, wasn't it? He was trying to make sure that Richard felt good, disregarding himself yet again and finding no joy in playing pretend to begin with. "Are you going to be fine if I do?"

"Nice", he mumbled as an answer, despite not needing to give one in this case. Yujin was really sick, wasn't he? He had no idea what he was doing exactly, after all, he just went with the flow and tried to figure out what felt right for either of them. Wasn't that just stupid? No need to think about it, though, there wasn't anything that he could come up with like this anyway. His head felt heavy, like his eyelids and the strings of sleep were tugging at him, trying to pull him back, despite his work not being done here. Whenever silence reigned between them for a few seconds, he felt like his head was overtaken by emptiness and his perception of time slowed down - was this all there was? Was there nothing else for him to do? He couldn't even think straight, he probably should leave it be, let Richard handle himself like he wanted to, but something, among other things, told him that that wasn't the smartest of ideas to begin with, not when he was holding him this close and not when the two of them had plenty of time to talk about things that were surrounding and bothering them. Truly, this was nothing more than a pretentious act, wasn't it? Somehow, he was trying to help, despite not knowing what he could and should do - so nothing of this was going to make sense to anyone, wasn't it? At least Richard gained something from it, didn't he?

"No idea, she won't ever find out about it, though", the wolf insisted, slurring all the words he was forcing over his chapped, dry lips. Right about now, he felt somewhat thirsty, but he couldn't pinpoint why and if he was honest, he didn't even want to figure that out for himself, or for anyone that wasn't with them. If she knew, he'd no idea how she'd react, but if he gave her a proper explanation, maybe she'd just not care? What did Yujin know, she pretty much wasn't really on his mind right now, instead, Richard mattered, didn't he? "No need to waste your thoughts on her." Some sort of reassurance should help, despite the fact that none of this was going to help Richard stay asleep, but Yujin was here, there was nowhere to go and no one that could barge in here that would want to harm them, so all of those fears were pretty much nonsensical to begin with, weren't they? "But you can't always shoulder ... everything on your own, you know ...?" Again, his comprehension of either language and the right pronounciation of words seemed somewhat off, but who cared when someone like him was sick like that? Plus, he seemed tired enough to immediately keel over, at least if he wouldn't keep himself awake with simply talking away like that. "Mhm", was all Yujin answered at first. "I feel like ... I got boiled ..."

Yujin felt like he'd been rolled over and to be frank, that was fine and all, but what else was he supposed to do with himself, now that he felt like utter horseshit and the only way to escape himself and his body was sleep, which was out of question while Richard was the one that felt like crap? In all honesty, he had no idea, not even the faintest lick of sense in his already overfilled mind and keeping himself awake, somehow, was making it worse. This was going to be one nasty cold and now that his nose was already as swollen as it had been, there were so many more questions in his head that, no matter how he looked at it, would just not make sense, one way or the other. Fucking hell, since when was he so pathetic and dependent on other people? Seemingly since he knew Richard, which actually hadn't been for too long, yet long enough for him to somehow adapt and find other ways for himself to make sense of all of this. Sure, he could care less, could just pretend to sleep and not give a damn, but he'd not be a good friend if he did. "Sometimes you have to", Yujin whispered, as if it was something crucial that everyone and their mother did once in a while. Maybe it was, but it most likely wasn't and hopefully it wouldn't turn into a handy skill of some sort, lest he'd lose his marbles for real.

"If she doesn't ask, it's not a secret though ...", he mumbled once more. If his girlfriend didn't even question where he'd been, well, nobody would have to admit anything to anyone, didn't it go like that? So, there was no need to hide anything from her to begin with and the sole idea of having all of this stupidity just floating around to some degree, well, why wouldn't they? Currently, he was doing anything to not just give in and sleep, lock Richard in a hug that he maybe didn't want to be in and all in all, none of this was supposed to be happening, lest someone actually took it the wrong way. But, in the end, there wasn't much he could do to combat in and there also wasn't a lot to do when nothing was really happening, which was odd in itself. "I'm still here if you ... need me." Now that his own voice actually, somewhat, reached his ears, it was odd to think about it all and it was odd to just consider making his own life so much of a mess. Sure, there was something he'd have to say, something that would keep Richard appeased, but did he really have to or was all of that jus his very wild imagination from the start? Whatever it may be, there was no way to care. "You ... really don't ... have to." Once Richard got up, he probably fell asleep right on the spot anyway.

Was Richard really trying to still uphold some sort of conversation with him, now that at least one of them was seemingly awake and doing better than the other? All things considered, it did just look like that and Yujin was, quite frankly, no one to deny his friend that, not even when he was still caught in his own, half-asleep daze, wondering why he even was awake and what it potentially would mean for him to stay awake just a bit longer from here on out. This couldn't be so bad, he still was doing fine and if anything, Richard was there to take care of him as well, so there was no need to panic about stupid things like that, was there? "Sometimes, not always", Yujin replied, not even noticing that he and the blonde had stopped talking in adrestian entirely and were instead trying to torture any answers out of each other by speaking in thrian. It didn't sound odd, maybe that was why he didn't notice, or his brain was just too occupied with processing all the other things that surrounded the two of them and just didn't pick up on all of this mess. Wasn't that just great? Naturally, he'd figure it outeventually, but right now, there neither was a need to, nor was he supposed to think about it for a bit too long and a bit too hard when he was feeling like absolute crap.

"So you'll stay with me?", he asked, almost like a little kid that was questioning their parent whether or not they'd spend the rest of the night were they were, just in case they woke up again, needed another cuddle or something else, but for one reason or the other, none of this was really, truly, applicable in this situation. "No, but you sounded like you needed it", he suddenly claimed and among the darkness, shot Richard a feverish smile once he got up and seperated himself from his, just to get up and get something - Yujin hadn't registered what exactly, but he still could eat that stonecold soup of his if the bowl was there, right? Except, no, it was cold and gross by now, probably and he also still didn't have any appetite. "Okay, I'll wait here", he mumbled, not sounding exactly reassuring, but what else was he supposed to do? There was no point at which he had to definitely cross the line, like there neither was a point in that sentence where Richard said 'stay awake til I get back', but Yujin sat up nonetheless, waiting for the blonde to return to bed eventually. Sure, now that it was silent and dark and all of his surroundings, including his fuzzy mind, felt warm and welcoming, he didn't need to do anything else but sit there and feel his head sinking, then falling down a few times to jolt up and pat his face to keep himself awake, which most likely looked silly.

"Dunno", well, Richard was right in that case - there was nowhere for him to run or hide and Yujin knew as much. He knew that the silence that they shared was better than anything else they could have and he also knew that it was almost stupid to think that Richard would leave him in his bed like this, now that they both were starting to see those sides of one another that were worse for wear than they needed to be. Frankly, wasn't all of this going to turn into some sort of pain in the ass, or some unfortunate thing that had to happen? Whatever the case, Yujin was too tired, too exhausted, to figure any of this out on his own. Surely, Richard was going to think for them both and give him some sort of explanation for the things he didn't understand, or he'd at least try to do something like that, but whatever it was, he was very sure that none of it mattered because in the end, he was just going to ask again, especially now when his head felt like it wasn't going to save anything of this conversation. "How can I not worry about you?", he eventually blurted out, just after the blonde came back and handed him a cup of tea. This was all there was for them to drink, wasn't there?

The tea felt about as warm as his head did, or at least Yujin thought it did, now that he held the cup and was still struggling not to fall back over. Though, that also meant that he somewhat had lost his sense of self in the process, hadn't he? A display of pathetic behavior was all he could muster, but then again, there was nothing else for him to do and he had to make room for something that at least made a lick of sense as he slightly blew on the tea - or at least what he thought was tea - only to put it to his lips and have a realization. "Oh ...", he mumbled, looking at the cup, not that he was able to discern the color in this darkness. Instead, he drank all of it, sat the cup aside to where the rest was and then turned back over, lay down and snuggled up to Richard without even saying a word about it, as if this was perfectly fine and normal to do. "Is this okay?", he asked, all of a sudden, now that he was actually putting his arm around the blonde again, just in case, but before he'd eventually get an answer, Richard would find that his bedmate had dozed off and now was stuck in the land of dreams.