sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

"Me? Swallowed up by the snow?", Caelan laughed. This was practically his second home. "Just cared for the horses, checked the supplies up here, all that. There is no trees this high up, so every now and then someone has to bring some wood up here." It was sweet Ronan worried though, but there was really no need. Sometimes Caelan wondered if he presented his life as too easy and if it upset Ronan. While he went outside, doing all sorts of things and Ronan just lay in bed having trouble waking up. He didn't mind, but Ronan was onstantly stuck in his own head, worrying about silly things nobody else worried about.

Ronan denied some food, then changed his mind, but Caelan didn't question him. Before he could go and warm up their food however, Ronan already came over to him. "Sorry. Cameron and I are always on the prowl, I just didn't want to overwhelm you." He knew the two of them were full of energy all the time. When Orlando or Ethan joined them, they usually complained about the two not being able to sit still for a few minutes. Ronan came up to him and gave Caelan a kiss he returned. "Why are you apologizing? It doesn't hurt as long as I don't do any face gymnastics." It looked terrible still, red around the edges, but it would heal more and more over time. Camerons family was even going to compliment him on it. Unlike Caelans parents... his father could already barely stand to look at his son and that wouldn't change now. Whatever. He was old enough to not care about his fathers approval.

“Anything could happen. Am I too overbearing?” It seemed that say, or perhaps he was just a tad too clingy with this guy. Ronan couldn’t help it, he loved Caelan and Caelan loved him - they could barely keep to themselves as was and even then, as sickening as the thought of leaving him behind was, he couldn’t overly rely on the handsome, charming, ov- enough of that. He couldn’t help swoon over Caelan another time. “Isn’t that such a hassle? Do you just chop a tree down when you come up or do you really carry it all the way from the castle up here?”, he wanted to know. To him, Caelan was remarkable in many aspects, few of which he’d hate to have himself, yet many of which he’d likely never acquire. For Ronan, it was enough to just sit by and watch him, to worry a little to much or make up a convenient excuse as to why he was checking on him so soon, or bothering him to come back inside. Why even put up with the likes of him? Compared to someone like Cameron, Ronan felt both inadequate and annoying; he’d not do Caelan any good.

With a sigh, he tore himself away from those thoughts that kept gnawing at him, tore his gaze away from the things in his mind and stole another glance of the other to-be-duke, hoping to distract himself with his presence. “It’s fine, I can deal with that, just give me a bit to get going. I’m not as resilient.”, he mumbled, hugging his own arm. Ronan truly felt as if he didn’t even belong by Caelans side at times, as if he was playing the wrong game, pawing at the wrong tree. The kiss shut him up, warm pink dusted his cheeks in an instant and Ronan became terribly flustered, sputtering nonsense under his breath for a second. Was it true he behaved like a virgin maiden that, for the lack of a better expression, had a few screws loose at times? Right now it did seem that way. “It’s still my fault it exists in the first place. I should’ve not been so reckless … I feel terrible, still.” Something that wouldn’t go away just because Caelan comforted him. Besides, why was he co-opting Caelans pain for himself? Before the blonde could protest, Ronan already shut himself down. “Forget it, I should stop bringing it up. Sorry.” He turned toward their food instead, lighting the fireplace properly to heat it back up and make it edible. Wasn’t he a bundle of joy? The somewhat sullen expression on his own face had softened at least, now that he found something to do.

"No it's fine, but you don't need to worry about me. That just stresses you out. I've been up here more times than I can count, nothing will happen to me.", he assured Ronan. He already had too much to worry about, he didn't need to add Caelan to that list. "Have you seen any trees up here?", he then asked with a laugh. "Usually I buy wood and then bring it up here. Not by foot, my horse makes it up here just fine as you saw. Or I send someone else to do it. I'm not the only person staying here, if a merchant, or scout, or traveler needs it, this hut is open for them and they better have wood in that case." A lord sharing a place with a commoner was probably not an ordinary thought, but this hut was meant to help those who couldn't finish their journey over the mountain in time. It was better than to search for them, or find them dead. "Hm, why are you making such a face?", he asked looking at Ronan, who seemed in a bad mood this morning.

"You don't have to be. You can take your time, while I do the work, I really don't mind. I like taking care of you and in turn you teach and show me so many new things or tell me about your naughty books. We're even, really. Don't force yourself because you think you owe it to me." He wasn't sure how to tell Ronan that he actually, for real, no jokes didn't mind doing all sorts of things for him. If he wanted to relax in bed while Caelan chopped some wood, hunted some food, cooked and prepared a bath for him, that was totally fine by him. Ronan looked at that scar again and Caelan sighed. "I was the one being reckless.", Caelan answered while Ronan already turned heel. He looked at him for a moment, then grabbed him from behind and buried his face by his neck. "Maybe I ought to leave a mark on you too then, are we even then?", he joked nibbling at the soft skin. "A big dark mark on your neck might distract my father from my face, hm?"

“I don’t think I can’t not worry about you and your recklessness. Not that it’ll change just because I worry for you.”, he sighed in admittance. Be it as it may, Caelan was like a wild horse - horrible to get ahold of at times, even harder to tame and even then, it never meant that everything would work out just fine. “N-no?” Embarrassing. He was supposed to be the attentive and smart one, instead he’d been distracted by anything but nature’s beauty out here. White caked onto white, a never-ending winter on a snowy mountain pass, filled with little but snow and debris, the climate arid at best. “At least the people of Fhaergus look out for themselves and their travelers. I can’t say the same about Alster, but I’m glad you take this seriously. You don’t have to, at least going by your status - who’s ever going to have the gall to go after the son of a duke?” For not doing an imaginary duty no less. Living together with people in Fhaergus seemed much easier, like they all symbolized one big family, something that Ronan both enjoyed thinking about and loathed to the bone - it sounded and felt overbearing, just thinking about it did. “What face? I always scowl.”, he huffed, unsure what about that souring expression was wrong now.

“B-but, I’d feel useless. I can do stuff too, just because I’m cold or groggy doesn’t mean I can’t and you know that.”, Ronan protested, his head reddening a little more akin to the color of a beet, just because Caelan couldn’t keep his damn trap shut. Naughty or not, what did that have to do with anything!? “I’m not forcing myself and if anything, the things I owe you are so much more than what could ever be repaid by acting like a housewife and doing those chores.” Wasn’t it just that? Him, acting like Caelan’s betrothed at times, both as jealous as one and as overbearing as they came. Ronan was lighting one of the thinner pieces of wood on fire and shoving it in the hearth, making sure it spread to the others still in there and watched the flickering flame as he tried organizing his feelings and thoughts. “Nonsense, I shouldn’t have hurt myself and then insisted on still joining the tournament. I’m a fool.” He’d figured Caelan would leave him be as he heard his footsteps, asking himself too late why they came closer and didn’t disappear. As he found himself hugged, he almost jumped out of his skin, not expecting the sudden proximity of their bodies. “I- If it makes you feel better, just do what you like- Hey!” A cold shiver chased goosebumps down his back as Caelan bit his neck, with no signs of stopping just yet. “Y-you’re out of your mind.”, he weakly protested, sounding a bit appalled. “Where would I have gotten that if not from you? Or do you really want your father to go crazy, hm?” Ronan reached up with one hand to ruffle Caelans hair as best he could. What a nuisance this guy was.

"I won't die on you, especially not on a mountain I climbed hundreds of times.", Caelan grinned. Ronan was truly silly. "You'll get all wrinkly if you keep worrying about every little thing. I fought a storm on the high seas, I fought a wild boar and I fought a strong mighty warrior in a tournament and I am alive and well. I am practically invincible." Ronan wouldn't take that as gospel, but Caelan could at least try. Then he looked at Ronan kind of puzzled. "Hm? What do you mean? It's our duty to keep these things in order, to keep the mountains save for travelers and our people alike. Precicely because I am Fhaergus nobility, it makes this my duty. Well not climbing the mountain myself, but keeping an eye on things, so they stay in order. In the end we're all just serving our people, no?" At least that was how he was raised. His father would have liked him to be less hands on, but they shared the general idea at least. "You're usually not just staring though.", caelan teased Ronan. What a strange modd he was in today.

"I know you can do stuff, but that doesn't mean you have to. I gladly do them, really. It makes me happy to provide for you, to keep you warm and fed. You already have so much to worry about with your father and the duties you have in Alster. I on the other hand am mostly bored, so while you relax on this little trip, as you have earned as the new champion of Adrestia and a hard working Lordling, I welcome you in Fhaergus as my guest. So it's my duty to do all that for you anyway.", Caelan rationalized everything neatly, looking mighty proud of his explanation. "And I shouldn't have lowered my sword like an idiot, leaving my body wide open for an attack. Who's the fool now?", Caelan quickly asked. Ronan would never stop seeing himself at fault and Caelan didn't want that. Caelan still had his arms wrapped around Ronan with no intention to let go. "Whatever I like?" Caelan teasingly bit a bit harder, but he didn't mean what he threatened Ronan with. "Hm? You're the one who asked for punishment... What's a good spot? Here? Or here?" Caelan kissed multiple spots on Ronans skin on his neck and cheek, teasing him playfully.

"That's what they all say. Isn't a place you're familiar one the most dangerous one, especially because you stop being cautious and start being cocky at some point?", Ronan asked of Caelan, as if he was owed any sort of agency in that regard. Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn't. Perhaps he worried just a little too much and they didn't fool around enough to keep his mind off of those things. "And you're cockier than anyone I know, too. Brash, even. It doesn't matter if I get wrinkly if you're not around to see it.", he scoffed, sounding taken aback. Was it the sheer brashness of Caelans words, or the lack of awareness on how it made others feel if he said those things with nor regard for his own safety. Often enough he wondered if he should have been envious of that man, of the perceived strength he held, yet, time and time again, Ronan stopped and thought about it, only to find that two wrongs didn't make a right and that, he too, would think too highly of himself. Were they the same, one of them would get hurt sooner than later. "I guess we are, but frankly, Fhaergus' nobles are so much closer to their people than any other are." Perhaps Stenz came close, or maybe even Wezette if one hunkered down on the idea that out of all of them, Wezette was ridiculously poor half the time. Not that that should be his concern. "Staring? Staring at what? You have to be more precise.", he argued back, sounding as if he was out for a little scuffle, a small fight, just to lighten the mood in the long run.

As idiotic as he was, Ronan couldn't say that Caelan didn't amplify that idiocy tenfold. "You'd be bored if we switched tasks as well - are you going to send your finance reports to Alster once you are Duke of Fhaergus, to have Ronan of Alster lend you a hand? Don't be ridiculous, I want to do something together with you and for you now. Also did you just call me lordling? I'm not that short. If you weren't yourself I would've elbowed you in the stomach by now.", the feisty kitten replied, obviously out to bruise the annoying puppy that kept coming too close and being too annoying for the cats' liking. Whatever had he done to deserve this kind of treatment and whyever was Caelan a man that could never keep to himself? Had Ronan done a poor job at actually reining him in? "Both of us, for raising our swords against one another. I'll cheer you on from the sidelines from now on and don't you dare lose against Cameron, you hear me?" A threat that meant nothing at all and everything at the same time. He didn't hate Caelan's best friend, not this time around, but claiming he wasn't jealous just sounded like one big, fat lie. Those strong arms held him in place and Ronan, hunched over as he was, grimaced like he wasn't having the time of his life. "Not like I could ever make you do anything else. You're shameless ...", he aquitted his fight with a sigh spilling from his lips, not even trying to escape Caelan now and accepting whatever that dork had in store for him. Wasn't he just plain childish? He yelped a little, at least, but that was mostly due to Caelan biting the everloving hell out of him. "K-kissing is barely punishment, you fool." His heart fluttered as Caelan kept up the annoying pace. "Is that all you got?" Provocating that guy was probably the last thing he should be doing.

"Ronan... how am I going to live if I worry about something maybe happening at every turn? I lived this long, I will live a while longer. I won't suddenly die and I won't stop climbing mountains either." This was Caelans home and he always preferred bein out and about over being home. He'd not stop, not even for Ronans sake. "I will see you all wrinkly and old and probably even more grumpy." He wasn't going to go anywhere. What made Ronan so upset? "Did I do something wrong? Are you upset with me?" Because he tended to their horses? This made no sense. "Well Fhaergus is the smallest. There's not that many people here to begin with. I think everyone who lived here saw my face at least once?" Sometimes Caelan would go to the town to buy some things, or just stroll around, even if his father didn't want him to. He too showed his face, but much more officially. Caelans uncle barely left the woods though. "Staring at nothing while your head thinks awful thoughts.", he explained.

"That's actually a good idea. I'd have to visit so you can talk them over with me and we'd have to study them aaaaaall night. Shame really.", Caelan giggled. A reason to visit Ronan? To stay with him? Caelan was all for it. "You are young and small, I think Lordling fits." Now he was just teasing Ronan, who didn't have enough fun right now. "Cameron's pretty good and also not distracted by you." Caelan hadn't trained in a while. Well, he wasn't supposed to while he healed, but he also didn't feel like leaving Ronan to himself just to do that. "With all that complaining one day I'll believe that you don't like me.", Caelan complained himself now. Ronan found a lot of words that weren't all too pleasent, not that Caelan minded much. "Oh? So you want an actual mark?" Caelan couldn't just back now down and thus attempted to leave an actual mark on Ronans neck. He'd be able to cover it with his hair... probably.

“Is it so wrong of me to worry about you? Sometimes I wish I could lock you up and put you somewhere I have an eye on your shenanigans, but that’d be too cruel. You should be able to do what you want.”, he finally relented, figuring it wasn’t worth all the energy he put into it. Ronan was a worrywart, he knew that himself. “You promise? Will you put up with all my wrinkliness and grumpiness if I put up with yours as well?” It was more of a joking ask, interspersed between their otherwise unloving squabble, one that Ronan had started for no reason whatsoever, other than that he’d woken up in a bit of a tepid mood and needed an outlet for it. “No, I’m just … ugh, I don’t know. I’m being difficult again for no reason. Why would I be jealous of a damn horse?” Caelan clearly loved him more than he loved those damn horses and they couldn’t quite take care of themselves like that, thus, they needed a helping hand. What was he insinuating anyway? That he’d been too clingy? Or too detached? “Can’t imagine what that feels like.” Alster was barely larger in size, yet packed to the brim with people, unlike Fhaergus, that was taken up by mountains for the most part. “I haven’t thought about hurting myself yet, so we’re nowhere near awful yet.”

Ronan was unsure if Caelan needed or wanted him to be honest when it came to that, so he blurted it out plainly. Would he ever feel the urge to in Caelans presence, he wondered if he’d even let him - he’d much rather hug it out or tie him up, oh Ronan was sure of it. “You’re right, that’s quite the shame. Well, I’ll do it, if you get under the table and blow me every once in a while?”, the sarcastic and joking undertone was hard to miss. Not that he’d say no, though. That fool of his needed to start feeling more like a fish stranded on the beach anyhow, so this seemed the best option to get his attention. “You’re young too, and I’m not that much smaller!”, he protested once more, sounding a bit annoyed over the implication of Caelans words, but he wasn’t thrashing around just yet. Lordling did fit, Caelah was right. What an asshole! “I’m distracting you? I don’t even have any sort of cleavage or assets to distract you with!” Not even his ass looked good in these slacks, not upon a closer look anyway. Did he care? No, all he cared about was getting out of the dump he’d shoved his brain into. “What? But I love you! I’m … I’ll make it up to you, I don’t want you to … hey, that’s not a cheap tactic to get me off your case, is it?”, Ronan pouted, catching onto Caelans bullshit - if that was what it was anyway. Had he really hurt his feelings? No, he was playing around too mu- “Ack! What are you doing!? Don’t tell me you’re actually- What if someone sees!? You’re not going to leave more than one are you!?” Ironically it tickled, but the soft squelching of skin on saliva coated skin sounded almost disgusting, only to make his heart pick up the pace again and for blood to rise to his cheeks - the color of his face was close to that of a beet as he tried hiding it.

"Ronan, I won't go anywhere. I'm taking care of myself, I'm careful. You don't need to lock me up, if anything..." Caelan stopped talking. He wasn't the one who attempted to leave this world without telling his lover any of it. Who would have just left and should be monitored and locked up, but Caelan said his peace before and didn't want to start with it again. "There isn't any grumpiness from my side.", Caelan chuckled. He grabbed Ronan and put him up on the counter next to the stove and put his arms around his hip. "I'm looking forward seeing you all wrinkly and grey and when we're both old and have married some random women we don't care about and had children that can run our countries, we can hide away in some second summer home, just the two of us." That seemed like a way too far in the future plan, but Caelan couldn't imagine ever letting go of Ronan. "I'm sorry if you wanted to tend to the horses with me?" Caelan was still not sure what was going on or what he did wrong. "Well I'll show you." Ronan was visiting after all, they'd go to the town, get something sweet or maybe something else. "Just thinking about me possibly dying soon?", Caelan asked.

"Sure thing, you want a pre payment right now?", Caelan asked with a smile. "You're tiny, but that's fine, I'm a Lordling too." Caelan didn't try to make Ronan upset, sometime sit just came too easy and he needed to learn to laugh about these things. "I've had plenty of women to know that that doesn't distract me. I never really cared, now I know why." Ronan didn't have to compete with any womenly assets. "It's not. I don't think you don't like me, I sometimes just don't know if you want me to push back, or want me to leave you alone.", Caelan honestly replied. It was hard to please Ronan sometimes and it was easy to upset him with things that seemed mundane and normal to Caelan. He looked at Ronan and smiled. "You'll better hide it and have an explanation ready. I'll leave another one if your dare me to."

"I still don't want to let you go.", Ronan responded with a pout of his own, sounding both vapid and idiotic. No matter what he did or wanted, he seemingly always circled back to the same kind of behavior that plagued him day after day, week after week, month after month. Were he too possessive, he'd perhaps eventually lessen his grip on the reins he wanted to have on Caelan, but that wasn't it. "I know, but it won't always be all sunshine and rainbows either." Puppies didn't stay puppies forever, nor did kids stay kids forever, or peace stayed as such. What put him on edge this time, he wished he could say - it was like the void itself called out to him the moment Caelan wasn't there to appease his every mood. Ronan frowned upon being set down on the counter, only to lighten up after he felt and saw that he wasn't being left all alone, swinging his legs over the ledge. "I'll take you up on it. We could run away together now, but that'd hardly be fair to anyone." Nothing more than a childish dream that kept persisting in the very back of his mind, nothing less, nothing more. "What are you apologizing for? It's fine ... really." Why was he like this? Difficult and annoying, if not- no, he better not go there. "Maybe I'll like it.", he conceded, unsure if he was a people person after all. "No, nothing like that ... best not put the seed of an idea in my head." Or it'd haunt his dreams.

Ever since he was little, he always bore this stupid frown on his face and ever since he was little as well, he couldn't escape himself, as if he was shackled and tied down by some invisible force that wanted him to be like this. What more was there? Caelan's idiocy, it seemed - if Ronan could blush any more, he currently was being roasted. "N-no thanks, too early.", he scoffed, holding his hand over his mouth in an effort to concile the beet red color that had made its way to his face. "Tiny? As if! I'm almost as tall as you!" Lordling, huh? This specific lordling was good at goading him into giving exasperated reactions, making him lash out and overall making him embarrassed. "There's nothing to see, though. What could possibly distract you, hm?" Did Caelan have a thing for hands and fingers? Or maybe his neck? Some other kind of perversion that clung to his mind like the fragment of a long forgotten haunt? A ghost of sorts, one Ronan couldn't identify for sure. "Maybe some pushing back would do me good.", he mumbled under his breath, wiping Caelans spit from the mark he'd left already. For just a second, it hurt - Ronan couldn't say he was opposed to that feeling. "Well, I double dare you to. I know you wouldn't leave another, that'd be too risky." Would it now? Wasn't he just riling this man up on purpose to forget about his own awful mood?

"We're gonna spend a few weeks together now anyway.", Caelan pointed out with a smile. Ronan would stay for a bit and he'd have a wonderful time. Caelan already knew his family would make him feel welcome, he was everything his father wished Caelan was and aside from that, he felt like he needed to apologize to Ronan and his family for the trouble Caelan caused. Ronan would be fine. "Oh come on, it'll be fine. Nothing's going to happen." Ronan worried too much about things that were not even happening. "If you want to stay here another night, we could do that without my father sending a search party." That was at least what Caelan could offer right now. "But at home you'll get a hot bath, nice food and a soft bed in a warm room.", he counter offered. And Caelan would just sneak in whenever he felt like it. "I'm apologizing for making you upset.", he reiterated. Whatever it was. "You'll love it." Caelan loved his home, his country, just not his immediate family. "Alright."

"Too early? Later then?", Caelan chuckled, but he wasn't going to take a no as anything else. He still held Ronan a little, nothing forceful. "I doubt you'll still grow!", he replied cheeky and with a laugh, teasing Ronan a bit more. He looked at him, his blue eyes laying on Ronans eyes, then lips. "Well your face for one. I like your eyes and your lips, they are very kissable." He leaned forward, breathing a kiss on Ronans soft lips, then grabbed his hand and brushed over his fingers. "I like your hands, the fingers of a writer and painter... Are you saying my looks can't distract you either? I don't have any cleavage." This was just a matter of Ronans low self esteem, wasn't it? "I also already know very well what is underneath all those clothes. Your skin flushing red will never get old...", he whispered, before giving Ronan another kiss. Then he chuckled and shook his head. "I'll let you win this one."

"We just spent a few weeks together, mind you.", he pointed out, sounding somewhat relieved that this seemed to be a new constant however. Ronan enjoyed Caelans presence, found it calming, like he offered some much needed candlelight in a dark corridor during a moonless night. Perhaps that was what kept them together, pot meet kettle. "Ack, fine, but just because it's you.", he relinquished himself to fate, as if Caelan wouldn't just try and do it regardless. Whenever he felt hopeless, he kind of lost it and whereas he'd normally have to pick himself up, someone else was offering him to do the more brutal work of sorts. Happiness wasn't easy to come by these days, he rationed it, yet he had found a provider who had enough for a lifetime and then some. "N-no, it's okay. I'm just too much of a wuss sometimes, with my head in the clouds and my feelings buried deep in my gut." Afraid someone was going to ridicule or steal from him, surely. None of that would ever happen, oh how silly he was and how well he knew that he was. Would someone else have laughed at him? "Now you're just baiting me.", he tried to muster a chuckle. Ronan was so bad at this, he knew it. "You didn't even do anything, it's just my brain being useless." Which happened more often than not recently. "I'm taking your word for it." Not that he had another choice in that matter.

"M-maybe? I-I don't know. If y-you want to?", Ronan mumbled and seemed both overwhelmed and a bit taken aback by the way Caelan just decided why, yes, he'd be more than happy to dish these things out like they were commonplace. Mayhaps for them they were after all. "Don't test me! What are you going to do if I end up taller than you after all, hm!?", he huffed, puffing his chest out a little. Was he pushing that mans buttons or were his buttons being pushed without him being able to do anything against it? All he knew was that Caelan was ridiculous in his assumptions. "K-kissable?" He tried shying away, clearly even more embarrassed. The words that followed left him speechless and, whereas he tried to escape Caelan wholly earlier, he now was simply trying to avoid eye contact and shyly looking to the ground, yet still in his general direction. "You're ... you're so s-strong, and your hugs are so comforting ... I also like the way your arms look, the sound of your l-laughter, the roughness of your hands. You're like gentle spring rays, warm and loving.", he whispered, hoping th abscence of sound would swallow his own confession. "H-Hu-Huh?" Sufficiently embarrassed by now, he tried to cover his face and was intercepted by a kiss - he managed to hide it in both hands just thereafter. "You're ... you're such a ...", he mumbled, only to lose focus and bury his face in Caelans chest instead. "Don't look at me." Hard to comply with that.

"Is that a bad thing, do you have enough of me?", Caelan asked giggling. No way. They'd have some more time until Ronan had to return home and then some until the winter would seperate them again. Maybe Caelan would visit anyway, just to check up on Ronan and make sure he was okay. "You know you can talk to me anytime.", he told him. There was no need for cryptic ways of being upset, or worried, Ronan could just tell Caelan if he wanted to. "We'll have a good time, okay? No work for once." Ronan worked too much every day anyway, this was a holiday then and Caelan was free too. He'd show him the town, get him a warm skarf maybe, show him the meadows and woods, maybe he wanted to camp for a night or two. There wasn't much more to do in Fhaergus if he was honest.

Caelan laughed. "If you want to, sure why not. We'll be plenty alone in the estate as well. We'll see what you feel like doing then." He wouldn't force Ronan of course, he just wanted him to have a good time and if he could help him relax, then he'd do it. He had to practice anyway, this was all new to him, at least from this pespective. "Taller than me? Hah! I'll be as tall as my uncle at least and he's pretty tall.", Caelan replied with another laugh, not that he cared much about who was taller. "Also you can't get taller than me, how would that look if I carry you around?" Like a princess no less. "Kissable, yes...", he repeated whispering and with a big smile. Caelan received some compliments too and he liked hearing them, though he felt a bit bad as if he forced them out of Ronan. "Thank you.", he smiled. Ronan was visibly embarassed and promptly hid his face in Caelans shoulder. The blonde hugged him back chuckling happily all the while.

"I don't think I'll ever drink my fill of you.", he confessed silently, sounding almost as if he wasn't so sure himself what he wanted or what he just spoke into existence. There was nothing to be gained from rushing headfirst into a world of hurt, but there was something to be had from having infinite patience and a goal in mind. Ronan could brave through winter just fine, right? The cold would seep into his bones like every year and he'd lament the inability of the human body to hibernate, but he'd try his darnest to sleep for as long as humanly possible. "If only I could figure out what was wrong with me sometimes, then I'd at least have an answer for you." If Caelan asked the fitting question for Ronans preformed answer, that was. The way he saw it, there was no use in meddling with this anyhow - it wasn't like he would lose his head over the schematics and semantics of something avoidable. "No work for once sounds grand, I'll give you that." Far away from home and he'd get to enjoy himself too, if the things that Caelan spouted were right anyway. Then again, why would he lie? Something within Ronan wouldn't let him extinguish that tiny flame of endless doubt, and yet he couldn't help but wish it had never found the heat in the first place.

"M-me? Shouldn't you get to pick?", he sounded flabbergasted, like he hadn't talked about anything relating to sex first. Ronan didn't necessarily yearn for Caelan at all times, but he would never say no to him. Not in a million years would he deny himself that pleasure, wasn't that just a little odd. "Taller than you? I guess I have catching up to do." Proper eating, proper sleeping, no more selfdoubting and even then his success wasn't guaranteed - his genes weren't looking out for him, oh he was sure of that. If Darragh were his father, maybe then he stood a chance in the height department, yet that didn't matter, amicable as it was. "Ah, you're right ... well, I'd still be light as an autumn leaf on the breeze or however you want to call it." And it'd look odd, Caelan was right about that. Ronan wished it wouldn't, that he'd somehow manage to at least win against this man that one time, but he seemingly had no other choice but to concede again. "You're the worst ...", he mumbled into his shoulder and hugged him out of his own volition, only getting more embarrassed over Caelans soft nature and kind words. Finally, it seemed, Ronan had enough - he pulled away and tried his earnest to look at those blue marbles staring him down. "Can I kiss you?"

"I don't want to be apart from you either.", Caelan smiled softly. Ronan needed to hear it, despite Caelan telling him all the time. "Nothing's wrong with you, you're okay, alright?" Caelan put his finger below Ronans chin and lifted it up a little to be able to smile at him. He didn't mean to make Ronan doubt himself too much. "I just need you to tell me sometimes how to make you feel better." That's all he wanted really and he didn't want to push Ronan in the wrong direction or make him feel like he wasn't heard. "No work and sleeping in as long as you like.", he then added with another smile. Ronan deserved the break, the peace and quiet, the time away from his stupid father. If Caelan could he'd just switch with him. He didn't like his own father, but he'd love Ronan either way, so he'd be fine.

"You're my guest, why would I pick?", he laughed again. Ronan acted so shy all of a sudden as if they'd never done anything before. Caelan was supposed to be the one being shy, given that he knew little about what Ronan read plenty of already. "If you wanna catch up, you gotta eat more.", Caelan grinned, knowing very well that Ronan often lacked appetite. He told him before that he'd get whatever he wished for in Fhaergus and Allard would ask him his favorite food immedietly. "I'm not going to lie to you, I prefer being a bit taller and maybe a bit stronger. I want to protect you." That was nothing new, really. Of course Ronan could protect himself too, but Caelan kind of always wanted to be a knight, someone from a story fighting dragons. He hugged Ronan tightly still chuckling a bit until the rascal wrestled himself free and made Caelan giggle even more. "Of course you can. You don't have to ask."

"That makes two." Two peas in a pod, two stupid mutts that shared a single leash and brain and two idiots that would do whatever they wanted, granted they found time for it. "I-I'm fine. You're right. I'm okay.", he tried to verbalize it out loud, like a mantra, like the beads on a rosary and their structure would allow him to get the restlessness out of his mind that persisted. He almost pulled away as Caelan treated him like that, embarrassing that awfully prideful side of his, as he watched on for better or worse. "I ... I'll figure that out and let you know. This time I don't know what came over me.", he confessed. Ronan felt like a sinner, the skin flayed off of his back to atone, the silhouette of his detached flesh that of wings, strung along his body and exposed flesh like a moth's silhouette. To him, Caelan was a confessor that laid him bare, despite all of the protests he had for him, as if only things borne of conflict - of violence - would ever show him what he truly was beneath all the dirt caked onto his mind. "I'd feel bad and sleeping in as long as I'd like would be rude, too. Maybe no work and a nice rest is fine." What kind of impression would sleeping in even leave? No doubt a bad one.

"Because I trust you and you always put me first?", he secondguessed himself, als Caelan seemingly framed a different narrative entirely. Ronan knew he was soft and easy to manipulate, especially by the likes of this man, but he desired nothing more than to love him both wholeheartedly and without ever having to doubt himself. Naturally, these extremes went more than one way. "Like I could ever stomach more than a few nibbles here and there." Frankly, he preferred soup - it was easy on his ever irritated nerves, soothing even and his stomach wasn't used to most things anyway, safe for what, now? Alsterian booze and sweets? Truly, he was the worst. "Like a knight in shining armor. I don't think I have any issue with that.", he finally relented, picturing Caelan in a shining silver armor on a white horse, out of a childish fairytale that would never come to pass and yet, Ronan intrigued himself. "I-I'm just making sure!", he pouted, only to lean in and lay his quivering lips to rest on Caelans own. By the gods was he a wuss - and by the hells was he an idiot, too. All Ronan wanted was to shut himself up and Caelans lips, slightly chapped and a bit dry, were just the right thing for that. Daring as always, he put his arms around Caelans neck, now that he still sat on that damned counter and leaned back a slight bit, pulling Caelan with him and saving him a spot between his legs. Not that he had ulterior motives - it simply was easier like that.

Caelan tried his best to always make Ronan feel like he belonged right where he was and how he was. It wasn't always easy, but there was nothing Caelan wanted to change about him, whyever that was. "That's okay.", Caelan smiled at him. "As long as you feel better now." Distracting Ronan seemed to work wonders sometimes, but again, he didn't want him to feel like he wasn't listening to his worries and complains. If he rather wanted to help Caelan with the horses, that was fine for him, if only it wasn't for simply the notion that Caelan did too much, which he didn't at all. "Rude? To whom? My family? Nonesense! You're our guest so you can do whatever you feel like and I don't think my father will insist on attending breakfast every day, just dinner most likely." He was too busy for that anyway. If they wanted to camp somewhere for a few days, they just needed to make sure to announce it in time so the kitchen and his father knew not to expect them, it was as simple as that.

"Okay... but I've not been reading all these books about how to be with a man. I'm the virgin here!", he announced almost proudly, even putting a hand to his heart. It was ridicolous to say and that made it funny. Caelan already slept with plenty of women despite his young age, but that didn't mean he knew how to please Ronan. "You gotta, maybe without your father on the table, the food will taste better." At least Fhaergus cooking was good, if only Ronan also wanted to eat. He probably would to not upset anyone. "Perfect. So you know who to call for when you get kidnapped by a dragon." Dragon of course didn't exist, though maybe Darragh of Alster was one secretly. Caelan couldn't quite slay that one. Finally Ronan leaned in for that kiss and immedietly Caelans stomach filled with butterflies. No one else ever made him feel like that. When Ronan pulled him in he stumbled forward a bit and caught himself on the counter with a giggle. His hands quickly found their way around Ronans hip again, pulling and holding him close too. "Veeery kissable...", he mumbled before going back to it.

Enough about him, hearing about Caelan was even better - his family was, after all, not something Ronan was familiar with and just hearing of them gave the impression they were much more jolly and tight-knit than his own ever could be. Not that he would ever blame anyone but good, old Darragh for that, that sorry excuse for a no good father. “That I do, thank you, dearest knight.”, he tried his hand at a joke of his own but maybe the general attitude he expressed - the stiffness of his face and the trembling of his lip - didn’t make it sound all that funny and more like sarcasm. “Alright, alright. You seem pretty excited to have me meet your family, you know? I’m just hoping I leave a good impression.” With the right people, that was. Surely, Allard and Darragh had to have something in common, like being difficult or annoying and Ronan could picture Caelans father, whom he didn’t quite seem to like, all the same. What kind of punishment was this? No, he shouldn’t think about it like that - Fhaergus seemed like a lovely place to be this time of year and if all else failed, he still had Caelan.

“I-I was just c-curious!”, he quickly defended himself, taken aback by the fact he’d been thrown to the imaginary snakes at the expense of a joke. Ronan was plenty embarrassed already, to the point his heartbeat had donned a second occupation as the ringing in his ears, which had both been dusted a blush pink by now as well. Why was he keeping up with this? “Worst case I’ll only have some nibbles of dessert but it’s still better than nothing.” Moving the topic along seemed enough, though not having the likes of Darragh at his table also seemed like an easy way of dealing with the issue, as if the foreboding presence was the sole fault for his lack of hunger. Caelan himself was plenty good at distracting him, something Ronan enjoyed his presence for even more. “Doesn’t that mean I’m the damsel in distress?”, he asked, a bit dumbfounded, opting to pinch Caelan on the back with a little vigor. That was something that man had fully deserved. Ironically, he almost regretted it as they kept their act going and Ronan found himself kissed into silence, with the moment Caelan pulled away as his pivot - he didn’t want this to end, giving into the urge to kiss Caelan yet again. He’d denied wanting more just earlier, but pulling his boyfriend a bit further back with him, until he almost hit his own head on one of the shelves, seemed sound and absolutely not demanding.

"You'll do great, trust me. Just be yourself.", Caelan tried to assure Ronan. His father always wanted a hard working, well-read, intelligent son, Ronan was just that, everything Caelan wasn't. He'd do just great and he really didn't need to be nervous despite the gripes Caelan had with his old man. He was the only one that could pose an issue in the first place, all the servants and town people would love Ronan too, Caelan was sure. And his dog wasn't an issue for anyone, really. Caelan was mostly excited to show Ronan a different life, a different way of living, though he couldn't be sure him and his father wouldn't have another fallout after all. If anything though, Allard wanted to leave a good impression on Ronan, so he'd hold back and just scold Caelan a little bit when he thpught he was being rude, or not acting like a noble. That was non of Ronans concern though.

"Nothing wrong with that.", Caelan hummed, "I'm too." But he couldn't read that language, so Ronan had to teach him. "After all you're still so shy around me?" Or maybe this was just Ronan playing and Caelan falling for it, because he thought it was incredibly endearing. "I'll get you some Fhaergus sweets in town, you have to try them." Fhaergus didn't have anything special really, but maybe they'd find something Ronan hadn't yet had. "Ouch! Don't you want to be my damsel? I'll knock at your tower window in winter when you are held in solitude, whisking you away...", Caelan kept joking with hushed voice and a smirk on his face. His voice was soft, like a promise, not a confrontation. Kissing Ronan would never get old. Again he had to put his hand out as he was pulled in further, to not fall over, catching himself on the wall behind Ronan. His second hand was still tightly wrapped around his waist. He loved it when Ronan took some control and took what he wanted like that, for once, like he never did elsewhere. It made not only his stomach tingle, it made his legs feel the slightest bit weaker too.

“Right, just be myself and try my best.” Don’t layer it on too thick, don’t be a smartass or an idiot and don’t try to appease the wrong kind of people. Ronan could, in theory, manage such things but in practice, he often struggled with even getting a word out, unlike his mother or Caelan. Those two seemed to live headstrong lives, with just the right amount of confidence and a dash of with on their side, for the most part. Him, on the other hand? There was nothing remarkable he could recall, it was almost scary to even entertain this kind of thought. Whenever he thought for long enough, he’d come up with something, yet sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder why that was so hard in the first place, almost as if he had no redeemable qualities whatsoever, only to then be told that he was undermining himself. Sometimes, or maybe oftentimes, he didn’t understand these things or the people engaging in them. All he understood was that he was himself and that all of them had to be unique in some way - Ronan was fine with being average, he was fine with being overshadowed and he was fine with just about anything else, as longs as his past disappeared eventually.

“I’m not translating any of them for you if you keep teasing me.”, he threatened, yet sounded like a kitten hissing a demand that hit deaf ears, which belonged to someone that found all sorts of kittens equally adorable. Naturally, this, too, didn’t bode well. “I’m not playing, I am shy when you are like this … not that I mind.” Or that he wasn’t at fault for having another man between his legs, making him lean back on the kitchen counter of all places. How long until Caelan lost his composure with him? “I’ll come with, just so I know what you pick.”, he feigned suspicion, yet knew that Caelan only had the best intentions in mind. Ronan chuckled at the mere thought, knowing that they both were attached at the hip anyway. Who was to say he didn’t want to see those places with his own eyes? “At my tower window? Doesn’t my tower have a door? I don’t mind being stolen away, but don’t you dare do something stupid, you hear?”, he warned, almost as if he’d had a feeling that something was brewing in the distance. For now, he let it slide at least and vowed to forget about it - he had busier and more important things to attend to. Caelans hands barely moved yet they felt like they’d already touched everywhere, it drove him nuts. Hadn’t he just said he wasn’t in the mood? Ronan wasn’t so sure if that was a lie to save face or the truth, but he ironically couldn’t help it - he wrapped his legs around Caelan, afraid he’d leave, only to demand another kiss for himself, like the attention seeker he’d always been around this man. “I’m a hypocrite, aren’t I?”, he talked in between kisses, his hot breath aghast on Caelans lips. “What would you even do if I told you do me here and now? … This is a joke.”, Ronan felt the need to clarify, the redness in his face rather evident.