sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

    • "Well because you are my boyfriend, silly!", Caelan laughed only to flinch once more, why did Ronan have to be that funny anyway? Of course he was interested in him, would he stick to his side like this if he wasn't? Also he was supposed to know the man he gifted his heart to, right? He wanted to know everything about him, he wanted to understand him as best as he could, so he was able to make his life better. "Hm the thought of you having a crush on me despite wanting to be straight and wanting to hate me is funny. Imagine me kissing you and you kiss back while grumbling to yourself! That was actually the first impression you gave me - not that I wanted to kiss you back then - but... in the end you're pretty cute and cheerful.", Caelan chuckled. Ronan wasn't as sour as he looked, not at all actually. "I can stop you! And if you do leave a hickey I'll just tell everyone who I got it from!" That was a lie, but he still said it. There was no way he'd rat Ronan out.

      "Well I love you unimaginable much. I love you to the stars and back and around you I fell better than when you're not here. You take away the pain in my cheek simply by existing and being in the same room.", Caelan answered with all honesty, maybe a little too honest. Ronan wanted to hear that though, right? "Hm. Maybe I still have the strength to crush your bones, but if the tournament taught us one thing, then that I'm not able to hurt you, that is not a matter of strength." He lost because he was worried he had hurt him with that simple blow, it was simple as that, there was no way he was able to just grab Ronans arm and break it in two. "I could throw you off.", Caelan said, but did he want to? On the one hand he was hungry, on the other he just wanted some more time with Ronan, looking at him towering over him, touching him... "Mhhhhh! I dunno... I can't decide what to do! I don't want to let go, I just want breakfast in my mouth with you staying right where you are!", Caelan complained, why was this so hard? And why was he acting like a child? "Hm... we'll manage your first wish before I live, gimme some more days and it will be all fine." He looked at Ronan and tried to figure out his thoughts. "Now I'm even more curious!"

    • "I'm the silly one now?", Ronan chuckled. Of course he was, what else would he be? They both had their fair share of fun like this and ironically, he didn't want to do anything else but indulge some more in Caelan, spend some more time with him and enjoy the blonde being around him, as well as spending time with him and deciding whether or not it would be enough to just give him a hard time if he actually wanted to get up. In the end, they both had each other and could spend as much time together as they wanted, at least as long as they stayed where they were. "I can still do that, trust me. It's not like we're always this secure and secluded from everyone else, so I wouldn't put it past myself to react differently to things in different situations, you know?" The masquerade would be the only place where they could kiss - in public - without repercussions and he was pretty sure that Caelan would have a hard time, taking those hands of his off of him and just staying where he was. Right then and there, they'd be hidden, depsite being completely in the view of everyone and nobody would even dare assume anything. "As if you'd tell anyone about that! And as if you'd want me to stop!" Or did he now? Also ... "I'm cute and cheerful, hm?"

      "Eugh, Caelan, you are - without doubt - not only the happiest, most lovable person I've ever met but you also excel at making compliments. This sounds all so sweet, I think I've ingested too much sugar", he chuckled and then he leaned down, only to peck his lover on his lips and then move back up, continuing to stare down onto him and asking himself if this - truly - was everything he wanted and could ever ask for. Was it not that he - of all people - was the one that shouldn't ask for compliments? "And it also taught me that I doubt that I'll never be able to raise a sword against you again", naturally, that was. In the end, they wouldn't be able to fight each other and they had to make do like that, as sad as it sounded, Ronan knew that giving it another shot would be an effort, wasted in vain. "Then throw me off, show me how strong you really are!" However, he didn't even think that the blonde would - rather, he seemed to enjoy this, seemed to like being looked down upon and, in exchange, getting to look at him. "I'll get up, order you some breakfast and get right back, does that sound doable or would you rather have me stay where I am?", he asked, almost sheepishly, not anticipating a particular answer anyway. Caelan would get whatever he wanted. "Curious about my second wish? Should I tell you then, Mr. I-insist-you-get-your-first-wish-soon?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Yes you are, why wouldn't I be interested in you? You are also interested in me, right?", he asked with a smile, oh why couldn't he just lay still for a second, why did his hands need to continue touching any patch of skin he could reach? He never had felt like this before and now he was yearning for every touch he could get, or rather give. "Yeah, but in the end you like me, right? And you also stand to who you are, you've noticed this way before me." This meaning being abnormal at best, but who cared about that? "You won't be angry at yourself for kissing me, right? Though it would be kind of funny... because I'm so damn irresistible!", he grinned with one side of his face, he sure was energetic today and he spouted a lot of nonsense. "I don't want to, but would I tell the doc if he asks where this is coming from? And what will you say? After all you told them you're looking after me!", Caelan retaliated, Ronan would only get into trouble if he marked Caelan again. "You are cute and sometimes cheerful, yes. I like your cheerful side."

      "Caelan swallowed down a laugh and shook his head just a little bit. "And I mean every word of it.", he made clear, stroking softly over Ronans knee. "Throw you off? Maybe I want you here, I'm not some wild horse you still need to tame. I know that's what Alster is famous for, but that doesn't count for me.", he chuckled, not making an effort to throw Ronan off of his body, instead he just caressed him a little more. "You may leave for a few minutes and come back with an boiled egg.", he generously said as if Ronan was nothing more than a servant to him, though he overacted a little bit on purpose, it was a joke after all. "I am curious, but I also like surprises, so I don't know if I want to know... mhh... you decide, you know what it is after all."

    • "I don't think we both could even fathom taking our hands off of one another, it's as simple as that", he explained and he was right. They yearned for one another whenever they had time to and it was almost comical to imagine that they could be without one another - in the short time they'd spent together, their bond had become something so strong, something so tight, they couldn't escape one another even if they wanted to. "I'm just saying, hypothetically, that all of this could be the case. In reality, I love you to bits and I'd want nothing more than to spend my time with you, until the day I unfortunately die", he sighed, wanting nothing more than to cuddle that unfortunate boyfriend of his. Somehow, Caelan truly was unfortunate to be saddled with someone like him, quick to find himself not only in a depressed state of mind, but also stuck between two points in his life that barely allowed for him to have the fun he desperately wanted. "Sure, the great Caelan of Fhaergus is so irresistible, I can't wait to see what kind of faces he makes when I get to fuck him for real", he chuckled, fully aware that the two of them were nothing more than joking around right now. "You tried to stand up and fell - what do I know!" Ronan usually knew what kind of excuses he could use, but for Caelan, nothing came to mind. "Unfortunately, I'm mostly gloomy."

      Sometimes, he wished he was as full of energy as his boyfriend was, but alas, he barely ever found time to be and it felt like such a damn shame to have nothing but a distaste for the waking world in those bones of his, in the intoxicated mind that he called his own - and rightfully so. They both thought the world was revolving around them right now and while it might have been, that soon would be no more and Ronan knew that, well enough to admit to it. "The next time I ask for compliments, I should get drunk beforehand", he laughed, slightly embarrassed and ever so softly stroking some blonde strands of hair out of Caelans face. This was what they both wanted, no? "I'm not good at taming horses, so I'm glad you aren't one, but if you wanted to get rid of me, you could always throw me off!" That was true, he was nowhere near as strong or admirable as his beloved and it showed, just by looking at each other. "Thank you for being generous, master." Almost as if on cue, Ronan got up and started dressing himself appropriately, also finally fixing that hair of his and waddling over to the mirror to do so - he really needed a bath. "What about trying to get a bath after breakfast? We both need a good wash", he hadn't done much in the two days he was here, well, aside from all the paperwork, but nothing that had a lot to do with hygiene. "What I want is to ...", as soon as he had fixed himself, he waltzed back to the bed, so he wouldn't have to yell it. "... have you fuck me, as simple as that." And with that, alongside an uncharacteristical grin, he walked off to get them some breakfast. It took around fifteen minutes for him to return with a softboiled egg, some soup and a spoon. "Alright then", he said, putting the stuff aside on the nightstand. "Can you feed yourself?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Well it has nothing to do with keeping my hands by myself, I'm interested in you as a person, not your body. I'm interested in that too, but you're more important.", Caelan answered with a smile. Sometimes Ronan seemed like he didn't believe that, or he didn't deem it possible, neither actually, that Caelan really liked him and that he also was content with his body, especially his gender. "Don't talk about death all the time.", Caelan said. They were still young, there was no reason they would die anytime soon, except because Ronan tried to and Caelan didn't want to think or talk about that. It was stressing him out and gave him the feeling, he wasn't able to leave for only a second and he still didn't understand any of it, even if he said it was alright for Ronan to be who he was. Was it? Actually no, but Caelan shut his mouth, because a discussion about it was useless. He rather ignored the fact all together. "Irresistible faces.", he flat out answered without a flinch, as if he was dead serious. "You're not gloomy most of the time I'm around!"

      "Not good at taming horses? Isn't that an Alster thing? I dunno...", Caelan asked, but since he wasn't one it didn't really matter and he wasn't able to say he was good at taming wild horses himself. Ronan got up for now to get ready and Caelan couldn't do much but watch him comb his hair and dress properly. He sat up and leaned against the back of the bed meanwhile. "If I'm allowed to go to the bathroom by myself? I don't want to be scrubbed in here again... not that you did a bad job." But it gave him an excuse to wander around, however that might go. He looked at Ronan as he came closer again to tell him his wish and Caelan just rolled his eyes. "That's not very specific!", he yelled after him and he could have that any time anyway - fuck that hurt his cheek. Anyway that wasn't any good for a wish. Caelan couldn't do much now Ronan was gone, so he just waggled with his feet until Ronan finally came back. "I can feed myself, yes. But what about you? Aren't you eating?", he asked and already took the tray carefully to put it on his lap while eating. First the egg.

    • Ronan was, in fact, the one that had been responsible for Caelan getting stuck here, for chaining him to a place he shouldn't even be in and right now, he did nothing but indulge him and offer him everything he had, just to make him a little more comfortable than he was. Truthfully, he wanted nothing more than to spend time with his beloved, but in the end, he would reach a point where just that wasn't even possible and he'd have to adhere his fathers words - do what he'd been asked to - and stop fooling around so much. Wasn't it pathetic that he always kept thinking there was a chance for him to escape this world, this title that had been made his very own birthright? As much as he tried to run from the world that deemed him nothing more than a nuisance, he couldn't and instea found himself in the grasp of something else, of a world unknown to him - and truly, there had been nothing wrong with doing just that. While he love Caelan, dearly even, there was something so fundamentally wrong with it, if anyone ever found out, they'd surely meet their match in deaths grasp, strapped to a bunch of wood atop a stack of hay, burned to death for sins that nobody had ever declared as such. Wasn't it a stupid world they lived and tried to thrive in?

      "I ... don't. Um." What the hell was he supposed to respond with? That he truly but actually ha no appetite or that he should, actually, eat breakfast with his family like a proper lord? In the end, what did it matter? He'd only brought Caelans food and he needed all of that to get back on track sooner than later - there was nothing to waste, let alone was there something he could afford stealing from the blonde - not that he wanted to. "I should eat breakfast with my parents and brother, if anything ... but I'm not really hungry", he explained as he shook his head and instead sat down on the edge of the bed, eyeing his boyfriend for a good second and a half. "Also, my wish isn't really specific because ... you said you wanted it to be romantic, right? Does it have to be any more specific than that?", he asked, slightly confused about all of it. Ronan was, without doubt, not the type to brainlessly waltz into a situation - but right now, he felt stupid, more so than he had before and unsure about the thing that would come after it all. What if Caelan could leave in a few days? Anxiety rose within him. "How specific does my wish even have to be? ... Wait, no, eat your food first." Not that that would change anything, but he could definitely use some of guidance - and maybe he'd figure out what Caelan liked while he did.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan looked at Ronan somewhat confused and maybe a little bit worried. "Hm... Are you sure?", he asked looking at his tray, this was enough, right? "You can have some of mine.", he offered and moved his gaze back onto Ronan, he wasn't sure if he forgot to get himself something or if there was another reason. "Is it because you don't want to leave me alone? I know I was annoying and clingy, but I can eat alone if you want to get something with your family. Maybe tomorrow I could even join you. I'll eat and while doing that we can't talk much anyway, so eat something too, yeah?" He only now noticed that Ronan had spent the last days only here with Caelan. Maybe he left while Caelan had slept, but most of the time he stood by his side and it was alright for him to leave for a while. Maybe his parents were suspicious anyway if he didn't come to eat with them and instead watched the guy his father hated and he hurt. Caelan briefly put his hand on Ronans back, rubbing him softly, he wasn't sure if it was true he wasn't hungry, but he did what he could and offered two options.

      "It isn't a good wish anyway, because it is something you get anyway, sooner or later, rather later from my current point of view.", he smiled, he wanted to 'fuck' Ronan, he wanted it for a longer time right now but the time hadn't been right and it wasn't now either, he wasn't even sure if the place was right, he rather was all alone with him somewhere and not in their parents houses. "You can use your wish for anything, you'll get almost anything from me anyway, but if there is something you need to ask of me first, this is what the wish is for, you know?", he explained with a smile, rubbing Ronans back once more and then he finally started eating. He couldn't stop smiling although it hurt, sometimes Ronan waa so cocky and then he was shy and humble again.

    • "I am, don't worry about me." He'd really have to go back to eating with his family, no? In the end, he was the one that had opened up this can of worms and now he was supposed to get rid of it - or at least its contents, which - frankly - were just Caelan. In the end, what did it matter that he didn't quite understand, what did it matter that most of the pain he thought he felt was his own and no one elses? Relatively speaking, Ronan knew enough about himself, but Caelan was good - excellent even - at making him question himself. In the end, this all wound up doing nothing more to him than hurt him, didn't it? "No, eat your own food, Caelan. There's no need to share, there's plenty more where that came from, trust me", he announced, knowing that it was nothing more than a fact, than the truth that he lived with. Unlike that hut in Kilead, they didn't have to do anything - whatever they wanted, Ronan just had to open his goddamn mouth and he would get it all, as simple as that. "It's not because of that, don't worry. I promised to be by your side, so I will, but it's mainly about me, having to go back to eating with my parents at some point, you know? I can't stay cooped up in this room with you forever."

      Even if he wanted to, there was nothing more that he could do except claim Caelan still needed help with some stuff, or someone to have a watchful eye over him, since he already started to try and waltz around again - or something similar to that. "So, what you are saying is that I'd do better if I just came up with another wish, something that ... you wouldn't normally give me?", he asked, cackling about it. Caelan was right, at some point they could just sleep with one another whenever, once they'd made the damn first step, but as of right now, there wasn't much for him to do, other than think about it and then decide for himself whether or not he wanted to keep doing it, no? "Mh, then I'll actually need to think about it. I have no idea what else I could want, really", he sighed, confused for a second, but enjoying the hand that slowly rubbed his back, reassuring him that the world was whole and everything was as alright as it could be, wasn't it? "Is there anything you'd want? Like, I know it's my wish, but I can at least ask for opinions, can't I?" Maybe they could do something stupid at the masquerade, how about that? After all, there wouldn't be anyone to find out who they were so ... why not ... wasn't that a tad bit too indecent?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I always worry about you.", Caelan smiled, he cared about Ronan and he in fact was fragile. There was so much that could hurt him, it seemed like the whole world was against him, Caelan had all the reason to worry about Ronan all the time. "If you want me to play sick a little more so you can stay I can, or I'll eat with you and your family. I think I might be ready to tomorrow or the day after. If it helps, I'll do it, theyll behave with me around, right?" Caelan smiled, he didn't really want to eat with Ronans family, but it would be alright, he had to talk to business partners and Lords and Ladies since the day he was born, he was able to behave, even if Ronan didn't believe it. Since he was the future duke of Fhaergus, even Ronans father would behave, right? After all he needed to look good in front of him and he needed to be nice since his face was cut open. That was the qorls they lived in, full of liars, but it also was making things easier and predictable.

      "You can think about your wish as long as you want, or be spontainous about it, because you suddenly have an idea.", Caelan grinned slightly while slurping his soup. The egg was already gone, it had been a nice change, the soup was as boring as ever but Caelan ate all of it, he needed the strength to heal. "You can't give me your wish!", he declined with a short laugh, Ronan had the most stupid idea whatever. "I don't really have a clue either, having you wear a dress for me already was the best idea I ever had!" It would be so much fun if at some point someone actually hosted a madquerade ball, for now no one even thought about one as it seemed, but Caelan needed to get a dress still anyway, and maybe a beautiful mask fitting his own. Then they could finally dance in public, a kiss was maybe too much since he shouldn't kiss a random girl either, but he was able to hold him. "Do you know how to dance?", he asked out of nowhere, maybe they needed practice first? Ronan would need to learn a womans steps.

    • "Always? Don't be silly, sometimes is enough", he replied, knowing fully well that, maybe, just maybe, it wasn't. Alternatively, Ronan wondered if Caelan was taking the incident from a few days back to heart, if it weighed heavy on his mind or if he simply chose to be who he was - a good puppy - and just offer him whatever he wanted, give him the security he needed when he didn't even ask for it. "It's not that and I most certainly won't force you to eat with my family tomorrow. Please, Caelan, you don't need to worry about anything. They'll behave, regardless if you're sitting at the table or not." His mother and brother weren't the problem, rather his father and his antics were, the same antics that were driving him as far as they had some days ago and truth be told, he didn't even consider that taking Caelan downstairs, having him eat at the same table, would shut his father up once and for all. Was that even possible? For one, he feared that he'd be punished harder than before if he even mentioned a passing glimmer of interest in the blonde, for the other, he doubted that Darragh was as stupid as to hurt him while someone like a potential business partner was around - and that was something he had to consider. Ronan wasn't sure, he never had been, but with Caelan, he felt secure, moreso than ever.

      "I had one just now, but it won't happen until the masquerade ... whenever that is." The chances that his mother were to host one were slim, but also, he'd rather not have it at home when it could be happening anywhere - at least somewhere that wasn't Alster, or maybe Fhaergus. Truthfully, who would even get their ass to Fhaergus for a goddamn masquerade? Hopeless romantics, probably, and at this point, wasn't he one of them? "I'm not giving you my wish, I'm asking for suggestions! You are the one with experience, not me - so tell me what you enjoy!" Nothing, most likely, simply because Caelan had already expressed a certain distaste for girls and while Ronan appreciated his honesty, there had to be something more to it, quite frankly, he already knew - Caelan was gay, that was about the reason why. "So now you don't know?", he couldn't contain his laughter before he let himself fall sideways over the bed and Caelans legs, careful enough to not get caught in his soup - he wasn't even anywhere near it. "You just want an excuse to grope me in public without having to make it look like a joke, don't you?", he asked, fully convinced that that was about it, wasn't it? And if that were the case, they probably could find an unfrequented hallway and have fun, no? "Yes, but ... not the part I'd need to know. So I will have to practice that, I guess." Thne he peered up. "How's the soup? Boring? Bland? Wet?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I can't just stop worrying about you, sorry.", he smiled. Actually he wasn't sure if he wasn't scared from now on, everytime he was away from Ronan. He had been worried the time he spent in Fhaergus as well, after all he had seen the bloody sheets and he knew what they meant and what they implied. He had hoped Ronan had enough to live for if Caelan promised to meet him again soon, but now he knew that wasn't the case, even though he didn't understand why Ronan would just leave Caelan all alone in this world. Now he couldn't be sure anymore to see him again if he left him alone for just a second, his nights apart from his boyfriend were probably hell from now on. "I don't mind worrying and I don't mind properly eating with them, it's my duty, isn't it? I have to thank them for welcoming me too." They gave him a bed, something to eat and a doctor that patched him up, as the heir of Fhaergus he nerdef to behave accordingly while invited into a nobles house, regardless of whos fault the situation was, he knew as much and in that regard he heeded is fathers words. If it helped Ronan that was a nice bonus.

      "Good, then I'll wait until then, I'm looking forward to it!", Calean said with a big smile only to flinch a litte, but he couldn't hide his excitement. Then he looked at Ronan confused. "Experience? Well nothing I did I really liked but when I did it with you it felt good all of a sudden, so my experience doesn't really help me, I'd need to try things out with you, though the first step would be, you know... Sleeping with you, but that has to wait. I can't think of much else we haven't done already... " Caelan looked at Ronan who suddenly lay across the bed. The soup was gone and so Caelan carefully pu the tray back on the nightstand. Then he lookef at Ronan, sat up a little and started to pull some of his black hair out of his face. "Yes I want to touch and hold you without needing to be scared someone could see us.", he nodded though Ronan didn't mean it that seriously. "Maybe we can practice together!", he suggested, when he fwlt better that shouldn't pose much of a problem. "The soup was... Soupy, pretty much."

    • “You’ll have to at some point, I’m not a little kid that has to be supervised all the time”, he chuckled. Ronan knew that Caelan only wanted the best for him, the best for both of them and that entailed them being nothing more than stuck in place, being forced to take care of one another - and, well, that wasn’t necessarily bad but wouldn’t the blonde bore of such a task at some point? Death waited for no one, but Ronan was doing nothing more than to help and get rid of himself so there’d be room for the perfect family his father was envisioning - something in which he had no place. “You don’t have to thank them for anything, really! I’m the one that got you into this situation and it’s my responsibility to take care of you, nothing more!” For now, Caelan was their guest and no one would dare to question that or the ethics behind it - as simple as that. That meant he could spend more time with his beloved and Ronan wouldn’t be killed by boring paperwork - at least not immediately. Alternatively, they could try to get the blonde downstairs tomorrow and allow him to join them tor dinner or something, even though the doctor would most likely advise against it. Ronan was aware that his boyfriend didn’t want to sit around any longer, but he still was in pain, wasn’t he?

      “You’re just going to accept it like that? With no explanation? You sure are weird sometimes, Caelan.” Well, he’d see at the masquerade - whenever that would be, hopefully soon and not spontaneous, even though they usually tended to be. Normally, Ronan wouldn’t attend something as stupid as that - which meant that, if Henry wasn’t attending and Myriad wasn’t hosting, he either could say he’d be visiting the prince instead or that he wasn’t feeling well and would stay at home, whatever was more convenient. “So you have no clue either ... that’s fine, we can figure something out!” Sleeping with Caelan, as good and as dreamy as it sounded, was nothing more than a wish that would stay unfulfilled if all of this went on like that, wouldn’t it? Not that he was scared of it, but there was something that made his heart beat faster when he thought about it. “Should we go back to the hut for that?”, he asked, looking over to the blonde that was busy getting some strands of hair out of his face - Ronan was dead serious about that. “And that’s why the masquerade seems like a good idea. I doubt that it would work if I don’t wear a mask, though, so it’s really just masquerades we can spend together, isn’t it?” And they’d have to commission a dress for every single occasion too, how annoying would that even be? “We could try, that way we’d have an excuse to hold onto each other”, he laughed - he liked the thought of that. His hands reached for one of Caelans before he pressed it against his cheek and leaned into the touch. “Hmm, what now? A bath?”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Yeah? You're not? Maybe I think you're acting like one!", Caelan retaliated and tried to stick out his tongue just a little bit. Ronan was actually quite mature when he sat there on his desk to work through all the papers. It seemed like he already governed Alster, not his father, while Caelan rarely had to do anything for Fhaergus, because his father didn't trust him. Ronan was diligent and precise, he was so much more than Caelan and yet if it came to a level of emotions, Ronan seemed like a child sometimes. He had endured more hardship than Caelan, but the way he handled it seemed odd to the blonde, it was nothing he would come up with himself. "Hm, I'm still grateful to get treated here and I should at least say that, that's kinda my job I guess.", he chuckled, he needed to be a polite guest and follow etiquette, right? It didn't matter that he was the one that got sent to the infirmary by the heir of Alster himself.

      "Yeah, for now I'm not too curious, I rather have you surprise me if it has to do with the masquerade ball.", he smiled, he already was too excited for that to finally happen, to have Ronan close by his side, to wrap his arm around him while talking to people... it was going to be awesome. "Well we have enough books to give us ideas I guess...", Caelan mumbled, his cheeks turning a little bit red by just thinking about the contents. Ronan had read so much more them him, he sure had a bunch of ideas. "The hut, or some other secluded place, maybe one in Fhaergus, whatever we visit first.", Caelan smiled, he wanted to do more than they had before, but they needed to wait for now for who knew how long, it would take a while until they were able to be alone again. Ronan grabbed Caelans hand and the blonde started to softly stroke over his skin on his cheeks. "You'll have to let me take the lead, can you do that?", he asked with a slim grin, actually they changed roles all the time anyway, was that normal for a couple consisting of two men? Well... it wasn't normal to be a couple in the first place. "A bath sounds nice, I want to get up anyway."

    • "Do you really?", Ronan asked, looking at his boyfriend with a somewhat puzzled expression. Maybe he did and maybe this had been nothing more than a game, still, but in reality, Caelan was wrong. Ronan of Alster was no kid, didn't act like one and he wouldn't let himself be branded as such, not in a million years. The hunt was, as one might say, on - but right now, there was a single target that hadn't exactly disclosed his attention to its fullest and therefore, Ronan had to wait it out and ask himself what it was that he wanted more than anything - Caelans undivided attention and for him to amit that he was nothing more than a liar, or if he wanted to play games with him, games of any kind. Ronan stuck out his tongue, almost as if to counter the blonde and then laughed. "It's your job to thank my parents for taking you in because their eldest son cut your cheek open like a fruit, ripe for eating? Don't be silly - you're never that uptight!" Still, Ronan barely knew Caelan and it stuck - after all, he had been the one that had had an eye on his now-boyfriend, not the other way around. Wasn't that somewhat sad, though? They both barely knew one another, what if they weren't a perfect match like Ronan wanted them to be?

      "A surprise for Caelan of Fhaergus it is, but ... don't say I didn't ask you if you wanted to know!", he said, then wondered if he should pester his mother. Why? Well, maybe she knew where and when the next masquerade would happen, but that would be ... a tad bit too obvious, wouldn't it? Therefore, it was up to Caelan. "Ideas and sort of instructions, as long as they go indepth about the matter at hand", he concluded. Ronan knew, or well, thought he knew things but in the end, they both would have to find their way there - this wasn't something easy, was it now? Just like he'd never sleep with a girl - or at least hoped that he would have to - Caelan was going to try something new, something he'd never done before and he'd never done before. They both were clueless. "Or we ask my mother for the keys to her summer residence - it should be void of any servants and there's enough to see and find, we'd not have to go outside for a few days. Plus, the pantry should at least be stocked with durable food", he concluded. Not, that Saoirse would be keen on giving up those keys, though - after all, she never let anyone go there that wasn't loyal to her, never brought any of the servants that had a glimmer of respect for her husband and Ronan wondered why that was - why he'd never been dragged to the summer palace. "I can give up my authority over you for an hour or two, I think ... even if it feels so damn good." At some point, he'd end up coming up with stuff that furthered his desire for undivided power, wouldn't he? Again, he leaned into the touch and enjoyed the cold shiver running down his spine, enjoyed how good it felt and how easy it was to get lost in Caelans grasp. "Then ... let us get up?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Sometimes maybe, when you're all shy and hiding from my friends for example.", Caelan answered with a slight grin. Ronan was actually pretty mature in some regards, while in others, he wasn't at all. Sometimes Caelan had the feeling he didn't think very far, not that he did himself, so it didn't matter anyway. Sometimes Ronan was out for a fight for no apparent reason, that was childish too. "I know I don't look like it, but I am my fathers son and he somewhat raised me well and polite. He'd pluck my head off my shoulders if I'm not a good guest, so yeah, at some point I will thank them for taking care of me.", he smiled, Ronan was right, that wasn't really like him, but he also never saw him talking to the Lords and Ladies at the events with his father. Caelan was able to completely change then, though he still had a somewhat big mouth, but he wasn't only able to charm any girl - or Ronan for that matter - but also some older Ladies and even their husbands. The perfect son Allards was talking to them about was just what he played when he joined the conversation and even when he wasn't around, he knew how to behave in front of a duke in his own house.

      "Yeah yeah, I just figured, whatever it is, you'd probably wear a dress and that's going to be fun, I guess. But you don't have to use up a wish if you're just asking me to kiss you in public, I'd do that anyway!", he laughed. Actually he shouldn't kiss anyone in public, but on the side he did kiss some girls and if some Lords and Ladies saw it, it didn't matter much. Their society was very very strict about two men having a relationship, but kissing or sleeping with someone before marriage somehow was completely fine. Of course there was talk, but it happened so often, if they'd kill everyone for it, there wouldn't be any nobility left. "A big house all to ourselves? Sounds awesome too, though that will have to wait too I guess. Your father probably kicks me out as soon as our Doc tells me I can travel.", Caelan sighed, they spent a lot of time together, but it somehow wouldn't be enough until he left, right? "It feels good to have power over me?", Caelan asked with a smile and took his hand to himself again. "You have to get off of me if we want to get up.", he said and as soon as Ronan did, swung his legs out of bed for the first time since he got up here. Then he stood up, a little bit too fast as it seemed, because his vision turned black and he needed some moments until he could see again. His head hurt a little bit more, but he was glad to finally be on his feet. "Where's the bathroom here anyway? Is it even ready? Well maybe I can find some other clothes meanwhile, I'm wearing this for far too long already.", he said and looked for his bag, someone has tidied up his room and put his stuff away, he wasn't sure if that happened while he slept or before he came here.

    • "Hiding from your friends makes me childish? I'm just not the most social person, that's all, I swear." Was Caelan right, though? Wasn't he just as shy as anyone, wasn't he unwilling to spend time with anyone that wasn't his friend and wasn't he scared of the people that he thought coul harm him? Ronan was, as one might put it, not only suspicious of himself - or anyone else for that matter - he also felt like he was stuck in his ways, deadset on a goal as old as time. Something out of his grasp, way too far away and forcibly thrusted onto him. "You are to be duke after all, just like I am. In the end, I guess it's not too hard to expect you to have some sort of manners, however small they may be", Ronan chuckled. Truly, they both shouldn't be with one another, they should spend their time elsewhere and occupied with other thoughts, but everything that was on his mind right now was his boyfriend and his reckless decisions - the ones he had made and the ones that were yet to come. Was he even equipped to handle that, let alone allowed to accompany him until one of them found his end in some ditch, far away from reality? They'd either be found out and die young, or they'd live for what felt like an eternity, unable to spend a lot of time with one another - Ronan didn't even know how long he'd live if he were to marry some girl, a stranger without a face and name, just because he had to. Honestly, he'd rather ... well, yes.

      "That's not what I was thinking about! Well, not a dress or a kiss, but I hope you'll like it too - you'll see what I mean sooner or later." While he himself felt like an immovable object, Caelan probably was an unstopable force - strong, dashing, lovable. Nothing, really nothing, would surprise Ronan at this point and as truth be told, he knew well enough that he barely had to do anything about that anyway. He was who he was and there was barely anything that could change that, he was sure, even though he wished for nothing more than just that. If he'd ended up normal, if he'd been Darraghs son and if he wasn't solely attracted to men, maybe he'd live a better life than the one he had, even though that would mean he'd probably never have exchanged a word with someone like Caelan. "I didn't mean now anyway, don't worry about it. We can do that once we meet again, there's no need to forcibly rush things, even if they are exciting", he chuckled, getting up on those feet of his to allow Caelan to rise from his own bed, too. "It feel incredible to have power over you, trust me. It's something I never imagined I'd have, not over you or anyone, so ... it's hard to give it up, especially if you've just gained it", Ronan explained to the blonde, knowing fully well that Caelan probably had never felt anything comparable. "I'll get a maid and have her ready your bath, you can select some clothes in the meantime and ... we'll see each other later? I have to wash up myself and eat breakfast with my parents." This was merely a proposal of sorts, nothing else. "Unless you don't want me to leave."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I know that much!", Caelan laughed and thought back at the time in the woods when they first met. "How come you weren't as shy when we met? You were really cocky and just talked to me, you even flirted with me if we're completely honest there, you weren't shy at all and that although you had a crush on me.", he wondered, it was weird actually, when Ronan first met his friends and wasn't able to open his mouth anymore it had surprised Caelan, after all Ronan had talked a lot when it was only the two of them and he got Caelan to hug him throughout the night with ease. "See? I'm gonna be a great duke!", he said as if Ronan just gave him a compliment, which he didn't really. Caelan wasn't sure if he was able to govern Fhaergus one day, but he tried his best, even though his father didn't see that and didn't let his son practice. Ronan had too much paperwork while Caelan had none whatsoever, both ways felt wrong.

      "I'll probably like everything you come up with.", Caelan smiled, not worrying about that wish in the slightest, actually Ronan didn't need those anyway, Caelan had never said no before, right? "The question is, if your father lets me back in again after he got rid of me, though I guess we can just meet somewhere while you act like you go to that residence alone.", he smiled. Maybe he was able to leave a good impression by Ronans father though, maybe he even liked him and let Ronan invite Caelan, who knew? Ronan said his father hated Allard, well Caelan was nothing like him, so...? "Hm, I get it, you want to feel strong. I have no problem with that, well except while dancing.", he chuckled and just noticed that he was in a very good mood right now. There was still a slight headache and the pain in his jaw, but it was fine. Even after he stood up it didn't get much worse, though he took it slow with moving over to the cupboard to check if some maid put his clothes in there. Yep. He picked something comfortable, since he was still lying around most of the time. "Wait what, later?", he suddenly asked after hearing Ronans words. "I actually thought you'd come with me... I mean... what if I loose consciousness and drown in the bathtub? Who's gonna scold me for getting the bandage wet? Who's gonna stop me from getting the bandages wet and who's going to pick me up before I get all wrinkled if not you?"

    • "Oh do you now?", he asked, as cocky as always - Ronan could either be the biggest asshole one had the displeasure of meeting, or he was something akin to the perfect, albeit somewhat shy and not so outspoken son-in-law. Naturally, that only attracted some old hags and people that thought he was, in fact, interested in their ugly daughters - or his father would be willing to marry him off for the right price. Well, not that he would have much of a choice in the end. "Some people just terrify me, especially large crowds and many people - that's about everything, really. It's not like I want them to, but it's easier to confront someone - you, for example - when they're by their lonesome and not within a large crowd of people, just like your friends. But I digress, I can go back to being meek and shy around you if you would like me to." Ronan would - either - become who Caelan wanted him to be, someone he used to be, just for the sake of satisfying his boyfriend, or he'd stay who he was, right up to this moment. Nothing else mattered, just Caelans happiness and if that meant he'd have to stay alive for a considerable amount of time, he'd force himself to - just for a bit. "Sure, and I'll be a great wife. Dream on", he chuckled. Not, that he doubted his boyfriends abilities, but the chances of Fhaergus ever prospering were ... slim.

      "Is there even anything you'd dislike?" Truthfully, there probably was plenty that Caelan couldn't stand, but they'd only find out about that sooner than later. Why? Well, to put it simply, mainly because they were both occupied with things far outside their initial thoughts and right now, that felt almost odd - it was odd to love a man, to consider having a boyfriend and it felt horribly odd to exist, among other things. "You've done nothing wrong, so don't sweat it. He has no definite reason to expel you from our country, you should - therefore - be relatively save." Wasn't that just another white lie to save face? Darragh was, without a doubt, someone that did whatever he felt like, whenever he felt like it. Naturally, that meant he'd lash out eventually and Ronan would find himself dangling from a thin string, barely able to hold on. "It would be weird for me to lead while I'm the one wearing a dress anyway, so don't sweat it, I signed up for this and I'm pulling through." That also meant that he had nothing to fear, at least if he tried hard enough to not do omething like that, as long as he stayed by Caelans side, though, that also meant he'd be occupied with something. "You ... agh, fine. I'll not go anywhere then and entertain those silly little thoughts of yours. I guess it won't hurt if I at least wash my hair, too", he grumbled, then brushed past the door and stuck his head out, only to inform a maid of Caelans ... idea, that very much was his own. It took around twenty minutes for her to return and inform them both that the blondes bath was ready. "Need anything else? Otherwise, we can go."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Just stay as you are, as I side, I don't dislike you having power over me. You're cute when you're shy, but you're sexy while you are not.", he explained with a grin appearing on half of his face. Ronan was just fine the way he was, Caelan didn't mind having to take him under his wing for any situation with more people and on the other hand, he didn't mind if Ronan was cocky or demanding when they were alone, Caelan was actually pretty easy to deal with and he didn't intend to change Ronans whole personality, only the part of him that thought he wasn't worth anything, because that simply wasn't true. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean? You don't think I'd be a good duke? Now I'm hurt!", Caelan acted theatrically. Actually he wasn't sure himself, even someone as confident as him questioned himself if all he heard from his father was that he wasn't able to govern a country. Allard would never give up the throne, would he?

      "I don't know, I'll tell you if there is something.", he smiled, he couldn't think of anything right off the bat, Ronan needed to do it first, then he was able to tell him to stop, but what was there not to love about Ronan and the things he did? "Is that so? Well good then!", Caelan answered, he still hasn't exchanged a single word with Ronans father, he only knew what Ronan told him, but he also let his son stay by his side all the time, so that was something at least. After Caelan picked some clothes he sat back on the bed while they waited for the water to be ready. The blonde was able to feel his weakened body that used up strength to heal, rather to stand up straight, let alone walk, but he was confident he'd be able to walk on his own. It took a while for the water to be ready and when it was Caelan stood up way too fast yet again and stayed on the spot until the black dots in front of his eyes disappeared. "I dunno... a towel if none is there?", he asked and already moved towards the door. In the hallway he stopped looking left and right. "Where to?", he asked and let Ronan lead the way. It wasn't far but still exhaustig and when Ronan opened the door to the steamy bathroom, Caelan already saw black flickering on the corners of his eyes. He walked in and put his clothes aside, then sat down on the side of the tub with a big sigh, taking some breath. He just walked a few meters and it had made him so damn tired, he hated this, how long until he felt normal again? For now he just sat there and hoped his head felt better anytime soon, he didn't want to raise his feet only to loose balance and fall had first into the water.

    • "Sexy? My god, Caelan, please", Ronan couldn't contain his laughter. Hearing things like that, uttered to refer to him, of all people, was something he never thought would be the case. In the end, maybe Caelan was right and he was just that, but having to change for someone he loved sounded, in fact, silly. Even sillier once he considered that the blonde loved him regardless, enjoyed his presence without questioning his motives and Ronan was, in fact, thrilled by the things he'd heard. Naturally, he'd just brush it off, consider the compliment something he didn't actually want to hear and a waste of his time, but for some reason, it wasn't - not, if Caelan said it and not, because they both shared a bond closer than anyone else would find comforting. "As if something like that hurts you! I'm not saying you wouldn't be a good duke, I'm just saying that Fhaergus might be the wrong country for you to rule", not that Alster was any better. Naturally, rulers and heirs of thrones differed - Caelan wasn't like Allard, Ronan wasn't like Darragh and that led to some serious questioning, of themselves and all of their own actions. Whether or not they'd end up being successful in their endeavours, though, was entirely up to them.

      "You better do", Ronan answered, knowing fully well that his boyfriend wasn't exactly obligated to tell him about every single little thing going on in his life, but ... it would be good to know if something upset Caelan, wouldn't it? Otherwise, what was he supposed to do once he found himself in a pinch and discovered the blonde just swallowed his worries, bottled them up and never let them out again? "Good? I can't guarantee for anything, don't get the wrong idea." Sadly, his father seldom showed his face, but even if Caelan met him, Ronan doubted he could introduce the two of them ot one another - not that it was relevant anyway. Just as he shouldn't be here, there was no place for him in Thria either and his father, who was nothing more than a vagrant, had nothing to offer except stories of long forgotten days. "Just follow me", he answered and showed the blonde the way to the bathroom, only to be hit by steam wafting into their direction after it had accumulated in here from the water being as hot as it was - and Caelan, without a regard for his injuries or anything like that, just seemingly sat down on a corner. "Do you need help? Like, um, should I give you a hand? You look sort of exhausted."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.