sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

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    • "You're hurt, I'd rather beat you while not using that to my adventage. This isn't a real fight anyway, you won't kill me. I'm pretty confident I can beat you without targeting that hurt wrist of yours.", Caelan smiled, he knew Ronan wouldn't like that, but Caelan would at least need a handicap too if he was, like... fighting with one hand behind his back or something, that would only pose questions for the audience though. Maybe Ronans father even thought Caelan was mocking his son, he didn't want that to happen. "I am your devoted boyfriend, how does that sound?", Caelan chuckled, he'd do anything for him even without a wish. "I'm not very good at playing sick, I can't sit still very good even if I am.", he answered. That wouldn't work. "You'd have to break my leg or something, if you want to keep me from going back home... even with a broken arm our fathers would both send me back to Fhaergus."

      Caelan listened to the instructions and nodded afterwards. "Alright, I'll meet you in the bathroom then.", he smiled, Ronan seemed a little bit more awake after dinner now, though the hot water would make them both drowsy enough to go to sleep right after, well at least Caelan thought that. He stood up after another small kiss, gave one back on Ronans cheek and then went about his way. He walked to his room and found it without a peoblem, then he grabbed some clothes he could sleep in and a fresh set for the next day. For a second he wondered if he should take his whole bag, what would people think if he carried around clothes and even tell a servant he'd visit Ronan? Well he could opt for saying he was allowed in the big bathroom for whatever reason. Good, he carried his clothes in his hand and walked back, meeting no one in particular and having no problems finding his way back. He quickly put his fresh set of clothes in Ronans room and then followed the hallway to the back to knock on the door he thought was the right one. Left was it, right?

    • If Caelan insisted that he'd rather not hurt him, rather not use the obvious advantage, was there even a chance for him to say anything against it and argue that he'd rather be injured instead of treated like a decent human being? "Just fight like you normally would, then", he insisted. They wouldn't have to stop there and if Caelan wanted a rematch when his wrist was fully healed, he could have it - whenever he liked. Of course Ronan expected to be beaten by him both then and now, though he couldn't say for sure. He just knew that he himself had no aces up his sleeve and it was almost impossible for him to even figure out the moves of the blonde, even if they were predictable, the mix of anxiety and adrenaline would make him blind. "That sounds cute but also quite cheesy", he laughed. They both were blind and drunk on love right now, wanting nothing more than the other to stay by their side and do nothing but cherish one another, to spend time with each other and have nothing on their mind except that. Ronan was, all things considered, crazy about things he could barely understand but that was exactly what he had to deal with either way. "I won't break your leg."

      As soon as Caelan left, he too made his way for the bathroom - the steam that had accumulated in such a short time flowed right out as he opened the door, which was why he almost immediately closed it behind him. After that, he put his fresh clothing on one of the wooden racks in the room and started undressing - should he take the bandages off? If he did, he probably should not put his hands in water ... actually, he should leave them hanging out of the tub regardless, a bit of fabric wasn't going to save his wounds from hot water and he knew that it would sting. He cast aside that shirt of his, fumbled with the buttons and all that and put them into a designated bin - even though he didn't have to, he didn't want some poor servants to pick them up after him, just because he was a messy noble that didn't care about anything but himself. A soft knock on the door later, he made his way to the door, opened it and as he saw Caelan, grabbed him, pulled him inside of the bathroom and locked the door behind them. If anything, this place was more marble than anything else in this goddamn mansion and for what? Nothing, probably. "Why is being away from you so hard?", he simply asked, loosening his hairtie and tossing that one aside - his hair was falling all over his face, but he didn't care - not when he was starting to unbutton the blondes shirt. "I wish I could just lock you up and never let you go, you know?" Wasn't that a bit morbid?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Mhh... sure. I know you don't want me to go easy on you or be worried, but I can't help it. I'll try to fight you like any other though.", Caelan said, he didnt want to mock Ronan and play it slow ith him, that would only make him mad. However, the thought of hurting Ronan hurt Caelan himself, he didn't want that to happen and he wasn't sure if he was even capable of fighting him tomorrow. When they agreed to their little fight things had been very different, although not much time had passed since then. "You won't? Wel... then I have to leave I guess...", Caelan sighed. Not that he had wanted Ronan to break his leg in the first place, he wasn't crazy. A broken leg probably drove Caelan mad, not being able to go outside and do stuff, just lying around, that sounded awful! Well, but being apart from Ronan again did even more so...

      Ronan dragged Caelan into the bathroom as soon as he came back and closed the door. The clicking sound of the key turning was almost soothing, they were alone, all alone and no one would barge in here. Even if a servant or Ronans father would knock, Ronan would tell them off somehow, nobody would find out they shared a bath. Well actually Ronan wasn't the first guy Caelan shared some water with, he went on trips with Cameron and both of them weren't ashamed in any kind, but again, Stenz was very different from the rest of Adrestia... The blonde looked down upon his boyfriend who had already undressed. The thick steam made is hard to see his face and the warm air felt nice, Caelan looked forward to getting into the tub. Calean took Ronans hair and put them behind his ears, some of it he took and twisted them a little bit so they would stay at the back. "You don't have to lock me up to make me stay...", Caelan chuckled and as soon as all buttons on his shirt were openend, he slipped out of it, caring for his pants next. "You just need to hide me... though I'd not be able to go outside then and I', not sure if I can manage that, so in the end you do have to lock me up after all I guess."

    • They had the whole bathroom for themselves - actually, they had half of this place to themselves. Ronan knew that his parents would be busy with their guests until late at night and that Declan was, usually, fast asleep. Nobody would come here, not while many of the servants were busy and the ones still finding time to attend to him had been shooed off by none other than himself, simply because he wanted some peace and quiet with Caelan, who he'd yearned for. It was almost comical that he did, he didn't know him for such a long time, but in the end, desire and longing had culminated and made the blonde irresistible - he wanted nothing more than to be held by him, to be with him and then he also wanted nothing else than to spend the rest of his days with his boyfriend, even if it all sounded horribly cheesy and stupid. Truth be told, Ronan knew less than he let on and he also, quite frankly, didnt understand his own feelings right now. Why was it that he wanted his boyfriend so bad, but would have to stop himself from doing something so stupid as to break any of those bones of his, simply because he couldn't bear it?

      Right here, right now, they were stuck in their own little bubble and only in their own little world - there was no need for them to worry about trivial stuff any longer and even if someone had the audacity to bother them, it wouldn't be for long. Also, he finally could wash the sweat off of his body and he had nothing but praises for Caelan in mind. "Guess I'll have to lock you up after all, then", he chuckled, helping Caelan with those pants and underwear of his, casting them aside quite carelessly and hoping to get into the tub as quickly as possible. Not, because it was cold - quite the opposite - but because he wanted nothing more than to wash up and be held for some time, especially since ... "Can I even get my hands wet?", he suddenly blurted out, looking at them and then at Caelan. It wasn't about his hands but rather both of his wrists - one still had a slowly healing cut and the other, well, it had been burned to death, hadn't it? "Anyways, I hope you like this bathtub more than the one in the hut, it has more room", he chuckled, before he grabbed the blondes hand and brought him over, quickly pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth before getting in himself. "What else am I going to do with you, if I can't keep you here or lock you up?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "But I couldn't bare being alone here, are you sure you ready to take responsibility of your own puppy? It needs very much attention, it wants to be fed, patted and played with, you know?", Caelan joked, talking like he talked with a child that wanted a real puppy and not a very much grown up human being. and as if he wasn't talking about himself at all. Being locked up wasn't something he was able to bear though, this much was true. He always needed to move and he soon started to miss fresh air, even sick or hurt nobody could ever really confine him. Staying hidden in Ronans room sounded nice, but he'd sneak out and somebody would spot him and then what should they do? Lie? But what would they say? Well all of this were stupid thoughts once again, thoughts that led nowhere, because doing something like that was impossible. Breaking a leg was still the best bet and that didn't sound too good actually.

      Caelan looked at Ronans wrists and knitted his brows. "Well I suppose you shouldn't... mh, guess I'll have to help you then, I don't mind!" Caelan started grinning, what a turn of events, that those injuries were able to lead to something good had been almost unbelievable, but this way he had a reason to touch Ronan all over, that was if he didn't insist on Caelan just giving him a wet towel, as long as he didn't dip it in he still could do anything else outside the tub. For now however Caelan got dragged along again and he smiled. This was so unlike Ronan and today he actually thought the fellow noble would be tired and unmotivated for anything else than sleeping. Instead he grabbed Caelans hand again and again, wanted him to join him and have fun, be alone and... whatever else he wanted. For whatever reason it made Caelan incredibly happy, although nothing much had happened so far, still he felt loved, wanted and whole in Ronans presence, especially when he was in such a good mood. "Any bathtub I can share with you is good.", Caelan chuckled, was he too flirty sometimes? He wasn't sure, those things just slipped off of his lips. Caelan had almost no chance looking at Ronan, but that was fine, for now he just joined him in the big tub. The hot water felt good after this exhausting day and Caelan sighed greatfully. "I could kidnap you instead, you know? But I don't want to start a war...", Caelan joked and moved a little closer, not sure what Ronans goal was, for now he kissed Ronan on his cheek and smiled. "What is it now, should I help you rub the sweat off your body, should I help you to relax your muscles a little bit, or do you just want a moment of relaxation...?"

    • “I have enough attention I could give you, that’s definitely not the problem we’re dealing with. I’ll give you whatever you want, whatever it may be just attention, a meal or some scratches, as long as you stay a good puppy, I don’t think it’ll be a problem”, he chuckled in retaliation. They both were disasters and yet they proved to be a perfect match for one another - wasn’t it ridiculous for them to indulge in one anothers presence like that, simply because they had spend a few weeks apart? Well, even just a few weeks felt ridiculously hard to endure and now that he had the blonde so close to him, in his grasp even, he didn’t want him to go anywhere ever again. “Unfortunately you’re not a bird that I could just shove into a cage either”, he sighed. This was going to be harder than he’d initially thought and honestly, it had showed. Ronan knew much, but not enough to even enjoy these thoughts he had - maybe breaking Caelans leg was their safest bet, but not here or no, maybe he’d have to injure it during or after the tournament tomorrow. That ... would work, right? But why was he actually gunning for that? It wasn’t like they couldn’t meet again.

      “And I don’t mind being touched by you, either. I actually want that”, Ronan laughed as he’d sank into the tub and enjoyed the warmth that enveloped that body of his soon thereafter. Truth be told, he wanted to hold his hands in as well, but instead he let them hang over the edges of the marble tub and stared up for a second - the same white and grey marble, almost everywhere. “And any amount of time I can share with you is even better”, he answered. Now that Caelan was here, now that he had him to himself, Ronan wondered how long it would take until he’s stop being as irresistible as he was to him. “Just tie me up, throw me over your horse and hide with me in Fhaergus? It sounds enticing but my father would not only burn down Fhaergus, he’d also gut you.” Which put them back to square one - one of them had to do something, anything, to get the other to stay or to take the other with then. “Why not wash me first and then you help me with relaxing? And after that, well, if I won’t pass out, I’ll have a reward for you. Does that sound acceptable, puppy?”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Are you sure you won't work all the time? Or what if your father wants to eat dinner with you, or I don't know... hm...", Caelan mused, but this wasn't going to lead anywhere anyway. He'd not be able to stay although he wanted to. While Allard would probably let him stay here or wherever he wanted really - because he couldn't stop Caelan anyway and Alster was probably better than Stenz -, Ronans father would probably not allow that. He had even told Ronan to stay away from Caelan, why would he suddenly change his mind and how would they explain their sudden friendship? Darragh of Alster probably didn't even care about the whys, he probably rather stopped Ronan from seeing Caelan again. As long as not only their relationship, but also their friendship stayed hidden, no one had an extra eye on them and that was probably a good thing. "If I'm with you, maybe a cage is half as bad.", Caelan said, he wanted to be free, but he also wanted to be with his boyfriend. The time without Ronan felt weird, Caelan often found himself not sleeping but rather thinking about the black haired, wondering what he was up to in the exact same moment. He was longing for him and he hadn't been able to sleep well the past few nights, because he just had been so damn excited to finally see him again.

      "So that was your plan all along!", Caelan laughed, not meaning it. He already searched for a sponge or towel to use on Ronans skin, but for now all he could see was a lot of marble, this bathroom probably cost a lot. They didn't have something like this in Fhaergus, it was luxurious enough probably, but nothing like this. "That doesn't sound too pleasant...", Caelan sighed, no kidnapping Ronan then, sadly. Caelan looked up, somewhat intrigued, looking at Ronan as he sat there. "Accepptable yes, though don't push yourself, if you're tired and passing out that's fine, we will have one more night tomorrow.", Caelan hummed and finally found a sponge lying around. He took it and sat down across from Ronan, taking one of his legs to start with. He softly pulled it up and placed it on his lap, then he soaked the sponge. Afterwards he started to softly rub the sponge over Ronans skin, starting with his feet. He slowly moved further up his leg, to his knee and finally his thigh. If Caelans father had known he helped Ronan of Alster - or anyone really - wash himself, he'd about had enough of the blonde probably. He lowered himself in front of another duke, but Caelan didn't care at all, he wanted to do this, he wanted to help Ronan and make him feel good in one go. After the first leg, the second followed and Caelan didn't even try to do something indecent. Instead he put the spronge away afterwards, since he didn't want to change positions too much. He started to work with Ronans legs again, softly making his muscles relax, though his arms and shoulders probably needed much more attention.

    • "If anything, I can still confide in my mother. She usually gets my father to change his mind pretty fast, but she's not always around, so I wouldn't dare risk it to ask if you can stay here, she agrees and once she has to leave because of whatever, my father throws you out and then tells her you wanted to leave on your own", he elaborated. Darragh could be like that and sometimes, when Saoirse wasn't around, he'd do stupid stuff like that, simply to teach either of his sons a lesson. The only difference was, that he'd usually apologize to someone like Declan or make it up to him, but as for Ronan, he'd never really cared about that sort of stuff. Frankly, it was almost infuriating to think about but truth be told, what did he know? Was there even anything to know in this grand scheme of things, did his father want him to catch onto something, anything, or was all of it just to showcase that he loved his little brother - his actual son - more than him? "You're just going to break the cage bars if you want out, though, and I can't have that", Ronan slowly mused, trying to figure out what he actually could do to keep Caelan around, even if just for one more day. All things considered, though, there was barely anything he could do, wasn't there?

      "Yes, of course. I almost killed myself just so that I can get Caelan of Fhaergus to wash me - dream on, puppy", Ronan cackled, despite there not being much to even consider laughing about. Truth be told, it was an unforgiving world that they lived in and they had nothing but their status to go by, but ... death wasn't a joke to him, nor would it ever be, simply for the fact that he saw it as a last resort that he slowly edged his way towards. "Let me guess, you'd rather keep those guts of yours in your stomach and your country from being a flaming fireball - I can understand that." They were running out of options faster than anything, but the truth was, there never had been many to begin with. "I may be tired but I want to make the limited time I have with you last - after all, what am I going to do if Fhaergus gets walled off from the rest of the world earlier than expected? I'll have to wait ages until you can come visit me again, and as we've concluded, I'm a rabbit, I'll die from loneliness", he joked around, letting the blonde do as he pleased and barely looked at him with those half-lidded eyes of his - the water was warm, hot even and the steam wafted through equally heated air. Ronan thought he was melting, just for a second, though. As soon as Caelan actually put aside the sponge and started to massage him, there was a quick jolt of paint coming from that direction that immediately got him out of his trance. "Either I'm really tense or my body just hates me", he spewed through gritted teeth, letting the blonde continue his work. "Can something feel good and horrible simultaenously?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "One day is better than nothing though, right?", Caelan asked, "Or maybe keeping our friendship a secret is better. I don't know, your father will probably know it at some point, we weren't exactly hiding today. Should we? I want to spend time with you, even if Im not able to hug or kiss you, after all I can't just hide away with you either." He also wanted to spend time with his friends and a lot of people would inquire about his whereabouts if he just vanished at events like that, he usually wasn't, usually he was very present, so that would just be suspicious. "Well I won't break anything for real, if you're scared about that, not if I can help it..", Caelan smiled, joking again of course, joking was really the only thing they were able to do, if being together wasn't possible and it wasn't. Why wasn't is enough that they loved each other? Why wasn't it enough to tell everybody and everybody would accept it? Not even if Ronan was a girl it would have been easy, this was unfair.

      "Wow you fell harder than I though!", Caelan laughed, though he pretty soon shut up to have Ronan relax and enjoy what he was doing. Yes he always thought about Fhaergus, his country, he didn't want to endanger it, he had some sense of responsibility even if his father didn't think so. He knew he had to lead that country of his father, even if he didn't want to and wasn't as lucky as his uncle, though saying that was wrong in a way too. Caelan looked down on Ronans leg than at him. "It shouldn't hurt, unless you have never relaxed a second in your life, you haven't even used your legs as much today.", Caelan said and slowly let go. "Your muscles aren't even that tense and I'm not trying to fix anything... but yes it can hurt just a little bit, but it's usually a good pain...? No more massages for you though, I get it, you'd probably kill me if I touched your shoulders. Turn around that so I can take care of your back."

    • "Yes, but who said I can't at least be slightly greedy?", Ronan asked, a smile on his lips. There was nothing but thinly veiled prejudice that drove the people and it all ended up showing one way or the other. Truth be told, it was somehow, some way, exhausting - more than anything. Who was he hurting by loving a man, by loving his fellow to-be duke? No one, if anything, it would only result in their countries growing closer, even if a messy fallout could ruin it all - but Ronan didn't dare think about that possibility, he'd rather enjoy what he had on his own, like that, in this tub. "I don't care what my father says, not this time. I'm done being scared of him, so I might as well just do whatever I want and be your ... friend", well, that sounded odd. They both knew they weren't just friends, but even if they called one another their boyfriend, wasn't it a tad bit too early? "Hmm, I mean, you could at least act like you broke your leg but I doubt you'd able to sit still long enough for anyone to actually buy that", and again, Ronan found himself mulling over stuff like that, just because he didn't want to let go.

      "I love you, alright!?", he acted as if Caelan had just ticked him off, then smiled softly into the blondes direction. "Well, maybe I've fallen harder than I thought I would myself, but I don't know, who can resist you?", he asked, his voice almost soft and smooth as one would describe silk. He still remembered having a horribly sore throat from their encounter last time and how it had hurt for some days - he had liked that kind of pain, even if it had become a bit annoying toward the end. "I don't think I've ever relaxed a second in my life, not that I can remember, anyway." There was no chance to take an actual break from abuse and the fact that he always wanted to please everyone weighed heavy on those tense shoulders of his. "I won't kill you and I mean, I enjoy pain ... but ... you know", he sighed, then turned around in probably the least elegant way possible and closed some of the distance between him in the blonde, keeping those arms of his out of the tub, still. In all honesty, he wanted nothing more than to sink into this godforsaken marble tub and not come back up for air. "You're free to do whatever you want, you know?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Can we afford that?", Caelan asked smiling. If they were too greedy, maybe all of their lies would collapse in on themselves and they were fund out, caught and killed. Not even Ronans friend - the crownprince himself - would be able to safe them, he wouldn't be allowed to raise his voice and even if his father was his opinion, not even the king would be able to safe them if he didn't want to commit political suicide. This world was awful, it always had been but now it got painly obvious to Caelan. If they still got children, if they still led their respective countries, why was it not possible for them to love each other? Because they were supposed to love their future wifes? Someone they didn't even know? Caelan for one was sure he'd never be able to love whoever he was supposed to marry. "I don't want the situation with your father to get worse because of me."; Caelan said, was it even possible to get worse? He couldn't know that, he only saw Darragh from afar up until now. "Aside from me being unable to sit still long enough, wouldn't your doc try to look at it? He'd know soon enough I guess.", Caelan chuckled, he couldn't be so incompetent to miss the fact that Caelan merely was simulating.

      "Alright!, Caelan laughed. "Hmm... I mean I've got a bunch of people wrapped around my finger, I'd say, so not a lot of people, not even you? But does that mean I seduced you, like a demon or something?", Caelan inquired with a sly grin, though if anything it was the other way around, wasn't it? Ronan was the one who had cast a spell on Caelan and who showed him so many things he didn't even think about before he met him. Caelan had to shake his head again. "You need a vacation, in Fhaergus!", he said, away from his father. He needed to relax and not be so tense all the time, how did he even manage that? "Just put your arms on the side and your head on top, relax, I want try to massage you any more, don't worry.", Caelan smiled, picking up the sponge again. "I don't want to cause you pain." For now he started to softly rub the dirt and swet off of Ronans back, drawing small circles. He washed his shoulders and upper arms and also went down his back as far as he reached. Caelan probably never washed anyone else ever again, why would he as future duke? This was a privilege only Ronan had and Caelan liked doing it, he wanted to help and make Ronan feel better in his hurting body. When he was done he moved a little bit closer, wrapped one arm around Ronans body, pressed a kiss between his shoulders and then rested his head on Ronans back. "I love you...", he murmured silently, he didn't want to break Ronan out of his relaxation. Should he also wash his chest, or his hair?

    • "We won't know until we try, do we?", Ronan asked, grinning from ear to ear. Obviously they couldn't, but a little thrill had never hurt anybody and while he feared that at some point, all of this would collapse on his shoulders like a house of cards, Ronan also knew that he had to do what he wanted to, mainly because it felt like it was the right thing for both him and Caelan - because he didn't want to hide away any longer, no matter many voices in his head were telling him the exact opposite of just that. Truth be told, Caelan would probably not approve of an idea as silly as this one and it had to be said that he, of all people, was more or less hurting himself with a mere childish decision like that one. "It'll get worse regardless, unless everything he wanted was me to join tournaments, which would mean all of this is fixed, ain't it?", Ronan asked almost sheepishly, knowing that he was in for a world of hurt from the getgo and knowing that there had barely been anything to save him from just that. Well, what was holding him together? Certainly nothing more than a bit of determination and the love he got from Caelan. "Mhh, he'd notice, yes, but he wouldn't call you out for it in front of everyone. It's rather that he'd ask why you're faking it, you know? No guarantee he won't tell, though."

      In the end, all of them adhered to his father and some of them - like his doctor - had made fast friends with this idiot. Sometimes, when the man was in a good mood, Ronan didn't have anything to fear and much rather ended up having to just explain the situation to him, got patched up, handed some painkillers and told to leave and rest up. Other times, he wound up being chewed out by the doctor and subsequently punished by his father, who had been informed. "Maybe you are the devil, who knows, though, I doubt there's one, just like there isn't any god to believe in", he explained, but ... was it any news that he'd rather be a heretic than a believer? Ronan knew as much as everyone else did, aside from the fact that he couldn't believe in a god that seemingly hated him for existing and made him doubt wanting to be alive. "Then whisk me away, Caelan of Fhaergus!" They both were joking, thinking about what-if's that simply couldn't take place and it all culminated in nothing but halfbaked ideas that tried to get something of the initial message across. "As you wish", he said, complied with what he'd been told and let his fellow noble wash him, just like that, forgetting about all the regrets he could have had. The short, unexpected kiss made him flinch before he giggled. "I love you too, Caelan", he mumbled, closing those eyes of his and merely thinking for a second. "Who else is gonna care for me while I can't use those hands of mine? Shouldn't that be my loyal puppies duty?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I think you deserve anything anyway.", Caelan smiled, from what Ronan had told him he had endured enough and his life was too hard already, Caelan wanted to give him anything he wanted and if it was that Caelan should stay here, he wanted to. Maybe he could endure being locked up in Ronans room, or a cage, maybe he could piss Ronans father off enough to have him lock Caelan up and Ronan still could visit him... well that was a stupid thought and not preferable probably. "Let's hope he's proud of you. If not, come see me in Fhaergus, I'll hide you away, that's the last place he would look, right?" Again Caelan smiled, though Ronan couldn't see it right now, what could he do to protect Ronan if Caelan couldn't even stay here? "Well and what should I say if he asks? I acted like I broke my leg, because I want to piss your duke off? Or that I want to spend time with the heir of Alster? Or that actually my ass hurts and I don't want to ride home, but that was too embarrassing to tell? What if he touches my butt then?!", Caelan asked and acted shocked, as if it could really hapen, but after all Ronan was the only one allowed to touch Caelans butt!

      "If I'm a devil there isn't much wrong I have done to you, after all you had given me those books and watched my ass from afar, it more sounds like you are the devil here and I'm just a poor innocent soul!", Caelan spouted theatralicy as if he was a poor maiden from some story and Ronan the evil dragon that needs to be slayn. Nothing of this was Caelans fault, Ronan was just too much all of what he ever wanted! Damn him! Caelan chuckled by this thought. "Maybe you could say you want to watch our lazy asses, look like the weapons productions runs as it should so you get your shipment in time.. you know, business in Fhaergus your father would aprove? Maybe?", Caelan voiced his idea, well it was at least somewhat more realistic than anything else. "Well another reason I should stay, in the end you ask a hot servant to brush your back, I'd need to kill him...", Caelan groaned, not meaning it really, though the thought of someone else touching his boyfriend was not a good one. Meanwhile Caelans hand grabbed the sponge again and started to let it brush to the front, on Ronans chest, doing his work there. He washed Ronans chest and stomach while he kissed his back once more. "Is there any spot I missed...? What about your hair?"

    • "You think I deserve something? That's pretty sweet of you, puppy", the black haired noble chuckled. Wasn't the steam getting to their heads or was it simply the feeling of the fleeting moment they were in that made Ronan so sleepy, so fast? Even if he didn't want to show it, even if he could surpress a yawn, that was about everything he could manage. After that, it wasn't much more than him, sitting there and hoping to disappear in his lovers embrace sometime soon. "I don't think he'd dare to even consider I'd rather spend time in Fhaergus than that little hut of mine so it might take a while until he finds me, though, if he gets the wrong idea he might as well act like I've been kidnapped and that wouldn't be a good idea, either", if he just asked to go back into seclusion, maybe his father said yes and maybe it would be fine to hide somewhere that wasn't his usual spot. Someone would come looking for him eventually, but he had a plethora of excuses for scenarios like that, simply because he knew most of them already and he has been playing with the idea of leaving for some time, too. "That's someothing you have to come up with ... and I doubt he'll touch that ass of yours, unless you really broke something in that area."

      "Speaking of which, did you read the one I gave you, little devil?", he asked, chuckled almost. He wasn't opposed to Caelan not finding time and just not even caring about the book in the first place, but on the other hand, maybe he'd learned something, literally anything, whatever he could. "Of course, then my father will either insist he comes too, an official emmissary should or something else. It's best to just ask my mother, she's usually better at coming up with lies than I am, trust me." Saoirse knew how to lie, which was not to say she fancied it, but whenever Ronan needed something from her - given, she had to be around for that, he'd end up unscatched, simply because she had said something that Darragh would normally not accept as an excuse from his little, stubborn son. "You need to kill a poor servant for assisting his master? If that's so, maybe I should enslave you and make you my very own servant, how does that sound?" He couldn't, not without angering Caelans father and he couldn't, just because there was nothing much that he could do, ever. Ronan felt the soft touches and the tension finally seemed to well down, even if just a bit. "No, I think I'm as clean as can be. As for my hair, if you want to deal with it, feel free to, but im saying, it won't be as easy as you imagine it to be."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Of course you do!", Caelan said, knowing that Ronan probably thought differently. His father made him to what he was and that was a young man that believed the words of the man he should look up to, that believed that he wasn't good enough and deserved all the pain he got, when in fact he wasn't. All Ronan deserved was love and not a twisted father like his was. Ronan wasn't even that bad of a son, maybe he was a little gloomy, but Caelan was sure that Allard would want a son who was like him. He read a lot, was intelligent and didn't get into trouble all the time, he didn't have the urge to run outside and be loud, not like Caelan was. Maybe Darragh in turn wished for a son more like Caelan? Though who would he push around then? Caelan wouldn't let him, not one bit and if he had been his son and still his self from a few years back, he'd probably even fought back at some point, punching his own father, which sure was no good idea. Darragh probably didn't even know that he was lucky with the son he had. "Hm... we're running out of ideas...", Caelan sighed, he couldn't take Ronan with him and he also couldnt hide here, so maybe they should just make the best of it while they were both at the same place.

      "Of course I've read it. Every page.", Caelan said almost a little bit disappointed because Ronan felt the need to ask that question. He promised him to read it and he didn't even need Ronans letter to remind him, he had it finished before, simply because the book was something that belonged to the black haired and Caelan felt cloder to him while reading it, even if the contents of the book made it feel a little bit weird. "Mh... I don't want Alster officials aside from you in our country I guess...", Caelan sighed and there another plan went out the window. "Hm... maybe your mother could just visit us and take you along? I saw our parents talk today and she is an official as well, it wouldn't be weird at all, though I'm not sure how to plant an idea like that in my fathers head. You said they acted a little odd with each other, if that's true, I'm not sure if they'd want to be seen outside of events with each other? You don't think they have an affair do you?" Caelan didn't think of his father like someone who would ever cheat on his wife, no matter if he liked her or not, but he was a damn good liar, he fooled the whole damn world, so maybe he fooled his son as well, at least in some regards. "If I'm your servant I can stay, right?", he asked like seriously thinking about it. Then he put the sponge away again and wrapped his arms around Ronan, while he rested his head on Ronans back, closing his eyes. "You'll ruin your hair tomorrow anyway...", he said, the tournament was right before lunch was served, so the winner could be celebrated while eating. That was in a few hours, no use in fixing Ronans hair now... Caelan rather held him for a while and was close to him. Well he'd also have to wash himself at some point, but he could do that quickly when Ronan was starting to get dressed or something...

    • Caelans words were quick to make anyone lose his mind, that much was clear, but Ronan also knew - for a fact, that was - that his lover wasn't only using those sweet words of his to gain some stupid favors, no. He actually, truly and sincerely, seemed to care about him and his wellbeing, about him feeling loved and cherished, but other than that, was there even anything he could do? Not much, hm? "And so do you", he returned to the blonde, wishing to sulk some more in the steaming water and yet he was always reminding himself that he simply couldn't, that those hands of his had to stay out of the goddamn bathtub and that there was not a single reason for him to give in, sink to the bottom down below and enjoy the little moments he had in this world, the time he could actually spend with Caelan without figuring out one too many things to begin with. Wasn't this wrong? Should they really be doing this instead of eating and bantering with the blondes friends, down there, amidst the crowd of oh so many people that wanted nothing but a piece of a fellow noble? "Maybe we don't even need one", he mumbled. Was there a need for an idea, a plan or did it even matter?

      "And? What has the great Caelan of Fhaergus learned?", he chuckled. Ronan had poured over those books almost as if they were the only thing that ever had interested him, as if there'd been nothing in particular he had to care about and after he'd read them, he knew much more about himself than he thought he would. "Then come up with something, or I'll have to drag another noble with me", he chuckled, knowing fully well that the only person that he'd actually be able to cross borders would be his mother - Saoirse liked Fhaergus, she liked Allard for all it was worth and yet, her oldest son couldn't put a finger on the situation, why it was like that, well, he had no idea. "An affair? I ... doubt my mother would be as stupid as to have an affair with another duke. Actually, I think there's something else, but I have no idea. Maybe they were friends?" Or maybe Darragh thought that Allard was his ac- No, that was incredibly absurd. "I could ask my mother if she wants to visit Fhaergus, simply to ... rekindle some diplomatic relationship. I can't really tell her I want to go to the most frigid country on this continent to get fucked by their heir, can I now?" His hands were pretty useless right now, especially in the position they were in, but he couldn't do much but lean back, snuggle up to his boyfriend and enjoy the warmth of his skin that led goosebumps spread all over his body. "I doubt Allard of Fhaergus would like you becoming my servant, but ... it's worth a try? You can feed me grapes by the handful, then", he joked and the lone thought made him blush - they couldn't do that, even if they were just playing a game. "You can ruin my hair tonight, if you want!" Well, wasn't he getting bold? Instead, Ronan reached for the sponge with the better-off hand. "It's fine if I wash you as long as I don't get the bandages wet, right?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan had always been a charmer, he was able to wrap a lot of girl around his finger by just being himself and some form of sugarcoating, his victories at those tournaments had done the rest, but everything he said to Ronan he meant exactly like he said it. Even with girls he didn't lie, didn't tell them he loved them or they'd be the only one for him, so when he told Ronan he loved him, he really did, he meant it and of course he wanted only the best for him. "Maybe dwelling over what we can't do just takes away from the actual time we have together...", Caelan sighed, they haf time for each other now, maybe there was no use thinking about having to leave right now. Instead Caelan wanted to enjoy the little time they had and he wasn't upset at all that he didn't spend any more time with his friends today, they alreafy had a piece of him during the day, the night belonged to Ronan and only him.

      "I... I mean I'm not sure if I understood all of it and... If my imagination is... Correct, about all the ways we could..." Caelab wasn't a virgin anymore and yet he felt like one and he was embarrassed even thinking about the contents of the last book he read. It had layed out different positions while the cheesy love story intertwined in the story had been pretty unimportant. Caelan still wondered who the heck had the balls to write something like that and he also wanted where he himself should even start. He just hoped for Ronan taking the lead in that regard, he had read a lot more anyway... "To be honest I don't take my father as someone who would cheat on his wife either, so that was probably a stupid thought, so I guess they are just friends like you said. At least that would pose a reason for a visit though!" Anf they were thinking about ways to spend more time together once more." If I haf my brother maxbe he'd sell me to you! ", Caelan chuckled, though he probably wasn't fit to be a servant. What was more scandalous, having an affair with another noble or one with his own servant? "You say that like you don't plan to uphold your plan and just keel over.", Caelan pointed out and watched Ronan taking the sponge in his hands. Caelan slowly let go of Ronan in case he wanted to turn around, though he wasn't quite sure what Ronan was thinking anymore." I... Guess? But you don't have to, really. "

    • It was obvious he'd been charmed by the devil himself, wasn't it? In the end, there wasn't much left, except to admit that he himself was nothing short of the devil, too, and that temptation as well as lut had been a sin all along, something they both had to deal with. Ronan knew, for a fact that was, that there had been nothing but the luxury that came with their status that had allowed them to come this far, but they'd also end up dead in a ditch as soon as somebody found out, let alone if they were to confide into someone that saw some wort of gain in their stupid actions. "You're right, we should think and talk about the things we can do, right here, right now", and his gaze fell upon the soapy water they were sitting in, on the marble that had gradually warmed up thanks to the hot water and the atmosphere they were sharing among themselves. Truth be told, could he really, truly even enjoy this or was there nothing to be enjoyed, nothing to be loved about his life that felt as cold and as hard as the marble he was sitting on right now? Well, he'd be damned if he knew, because he simply didn't - the only thing he could do was contemplate that life of his, however bad it may be.

      "There's a few, more than just me sucking you off, you know", he chuckled. This was embarrassing, but the heat of the water had already made him blush, had turned spots of his pale skin into red splotches, but it didn't itch or hurt - it was pretty normal and it would go away soon thereafter, once he finally got out. For now, he took in the warmth - any he could get - and smiled, gently. "Well, we never can know. Nobles are nobles and if they want to sleep with a maid or a butler, they will. But I wouldn't judge your father. And ... we should talk about something else." They really needed to stop thinking about eventual seperation and the like, it would only drive both of them mad and result in things that Ronan, for one, did absolutely not enjoy. Indulging in death because of desperation was one thing, but a broken heart felt like it would be enough to end him in one swift motion. "Sure, I'd like that imaginary brother of yours to sell me to you, for a fair price, because I'd love nothing more than someone as hot as Caelan of Fhaergus servicing my every need", his voice was soft and silent, breathless and almost wordless, too - as if he suddenly was afraid of someone hearing him. "Can I be tired and slightly horny or is that off the table?", he asked in bewilderment, even though he was merely playing it. Then, he finally seperated from Caelan and took the sponge in his own hand, soaked it with water and squeezed most of it back out, before turning and starting to was Caelans face, then his throat, his shoulders and his chest. "I simply want to return the favor, as long as the pain isn't killing me."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I-I know! Now...", Caelan said almost meekly, taken aback from the fact that Ronan just spouted this out loud here, though there was probably no one even close to this room, if they were Caelan needed to shut up unless he wanted them to hear two voices come from this room and Caelan doubted they'd just brush it off, this wasn't Stenz after all, or did the blonde worry too much, because he liked Ronan a lot more and differently than his other friends? Maybe he wouldn't have worried if he sat here with Cameron, Orlando or Ethan, why would he? That there was more they could do, besides feeling Ronans lips around him, or lying in bed face t face to touch each other, that he knew, he even had read something like that in the hut. It was unbelievable how he was the shy one now, he didn't want to be, but Ronan was the one being all cocky and confident here. Caelan never had felt like this, not even before or during his first time having sex, he hadn't cared all that much. Maybe he was not only nervous because all of this was new, but also because he actually felt something for Ronan.

      Ronan was right, their parents was something they shouldn't talk about right now. He doubted they had an affair either way, maybe Ronans father was just pissed because his wife had another man she occasionally talked to, other than him that was. Maybe if he wasn't so an asshole to her children she would not do it, then again Allard was a dick sometimes too, so that didn't count probably. Well, Ronans mother probably knew nothing about the situation in Fhaergus when no one else was around. "You think I'm hot?", Caelan asked with a grin, had apparently only heard that and already knew as much. Though now Ronan was the one whispering as if someone was walking by outside, this being the last door of the corridor made this highly unlikely. "You can be all you want, but... I guess you'll have to decide whether you want to go to sleep or not.", Caelan chuckled and shook his head a little bit. "You know I can wash my own face, I'm not a child." Everything else felt good though and so Caelan leaned back a little bit and closed his eyes to enjoy what Ronan was doing if he wanted it. Sitting here like this, with the sponge brushing over his body, the hot and steamy air, all leaned back after a hard day made him sleepy and he noticed that he almost felt too lazy to go back to Ronans room at some point. "I'd rather have you having no pain at all...", he murmured, reaching out his hands. When he found Ronans body without opening his eyes, he pulled him softly towards him, having him sit directly in front of him. It would have been even better if Ronan crossed his legs behind Caelans back, but for now he was content with having him closer. He wrapped his arms around him and pressed a kiss on his chest.

    • "What now? Hm?", Ronan probed some more, being deeply amused by so much more than just the simple fact that he had Caelan wrapped around his finger, so close to him, almost unbearably so and the whole bath they were sharing felt like some kind of indescribable torture for him, unable to dip his hands into it and tease the blonde as he pleased. It was getting stuffy under the bandages, he felt as if he were sweating and yet he couldn't do much more than to ignore it and focus on anything but that. Wasn't it a sin for him to share this bath and then even more of a sin to even consider touching his fellow noble in an indecent way? Ronan of Alster was, like this - right here and right now -, a man incapable of being saved, no matter what one would try. Wasn't it almost laughable that he - of all people - was considering to end it all, over such simple things as love and not receiving any, because - in the end - who was really, truly loved? Well, even if that existence of his was a sin in and of itself, why would he care? That had only meant he shouldn't be alive in the first place, but now that he was, he could at least drag Caelan to hell with him, no?

      A sly grin had made its way onto his lips - Caelan was making him feel good, simply by being there. In reality, he hadn't smiled or laughed in what had felt like years, not genuinely at least and while he had tried a lot, a bit too much of everything, there wasn't much more for him to do than that - he had to fit in, be the missing puzzle piece that everyone searched for but that - theoretically - didn't fit, not a single bit. "Scalding hot, actually. I mean, you even burned me", he joked - well, he did now, but the apin from a cauterized wound and the smell of burnt flesh was still something that wouldn't go away all that soon. Ronan was, without a doubt, not only tired and felt like he was suffering, but he also knew he brought all of this upon himself and right here, right now, he was doing his best to not only forget the pain, but also stop revelling in all the mysery he was so quick to suffocate in. "Right now, I'd rather spend some more time with you after this than to straight up fall asleep", well, he probably would, he knew himself well enough and if he wear to take some of the powder the doctor had given him, he'd be out cold in no time anyway. "Let me wash you properly", he complained. Ronan wasn't one for jokes, well, he actually was but right here and right now it barely felt like he was. "Some things can't be changed by words alone, sadly", he mumbled, but soon found himself in the blondes embrace and let go of the sponge, which probably would soon sink to the bottom of the marble tub and lay there. "What do you want?", he asked, using his hands to softly stroke through the blondes strands of hair, as best as he could. "I've missed you too, you know."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.