sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

    • "Isn't that what all people do, all the time?", Caelan asked and after all everyone moved forward by doing their best right? No one knew what was good enough and what ifs where no use. They just had to go on with life, live as best as they could and hope it would benefit them in some way someday. Thinking too much about what could have been or what would happen if wasn't of any use, life had a tendency to surprise oneself if one was too sure about everything. Just as it surprised Caelan with finding Ronan and with feeling for him like he did. "Just tell me what it is you want, would you?", Caelan answered, ignoring Ronans question completely, he just wanted to know how to help him, not tell him how, when he didn't even know what it was Ronan wanted. Setting ones mind to something was sometimes enough to achieve something, sometimes not, but they wouldn't know until they tried?

      "Well your father isn't here, maybe you should stop thinking about him. If you let him ruin your day when he's not even here, that just makes him win, right? Don't give him more power over you than he already has.", Caelan answered and kept moving his hand over Ronans back. What else could he do? They should probably talk about something else or find something to do that took Ronans mind off of his father and his life. They were here together to enjoy themselves and to figure out how to go one from the day forward Caelan had to go back to Fhaergus again. Their fathers would nag on them soon enough, when they were home again, but now they had each other and that for a limited amount of time, they should do their best enjoying this time. However, caelan couldn't just pull Ronan out of these thoughts just like that, right? "What about your wish, you still want that? maybe that takes your mind off of things. Or I'll shut up and let you read your book?"

    • "Maybe it is, who knows anything about this world or anything about what it's like to be part of it?" Ronan wasn't so sure on his role here, wasn't sure how he was supposed to take it that he'd not live long enough or leave a lasting impression on his people - in the end, it all faded to black and one would be confronted with his or her sins, knowingly so, that there were countless things they'd probably done wrong during their life. This here, was it a mistake or just a confession that he, indeed, wasn't even strong enough to surpress his carnal urges? Whatever it may be, he didn't necessarily think of it as something bad, instead, he'd gained something he hadn't had before - and that was, truth be told, Caelan. "To be stronger, to be able to stand up for myself, but that's hardly possible if I don't work on myself", he was easily out of breath, hardly went anywhere and yet he was here, whining about things that would be fixed by a bit of training, if only he had enough muse and time to commit to it. Darragh had never said that he had to, he just had given up at some point and now it was Ronan who thought, maybe he would be able to appease that father of his if only he became his ideal self.

      "I'll ... try, I guess? There's nothing much I can do, anyway", a sigh spilled from his lips soon after, but he enjoyed the slow touch that carved itself into his body, still. Caelan was more than he could ever ask for, more than he wanted to have and yet, it was as if someone had dropped the blonde into his lap and told him he was free to do whatever he wanted, as long as he was all nice and loving to him. Silence was nice, but not here, not now - and it wasn't a good look to frown and unleash all of his saddness so soon after smiling. "I ... no, don't shut up. Take your time, you wanted to relax today. We can fulfill my wish tomorrow, I don't mind the wait. For now, why don't you read that book of yours and let me cuddle with you a bit? I think that's enough to keep me engaged", he proposed. If he got bored, he could simply grab that book of his, there wasn't anything else he needed, anyway. Ronan knew he had to work on himself, somehow, some way, but it always as hard to truly grasp the situation if one had no coherent idea.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "So it is very much possible. Of course it won't just come to you, but you have the most energetic guy with you you can imagine. We can start doing a little training session right away if you want. What should it be? A fistfight? Swords? General muscle training? A run through the woods?", Caelan asked with a smile, poking Ronans side just a little bit, but not actually trying to get him to stand up just yet. Ronan seemed way too lazy for that or maybe he was embarrassed in front of Caelan, maybe he didn't want to prove that Caelan was the one that was able to run for a longer period of time or something stupid like that. "You know, I'm not really the guy to train on a schedule, but I could think of something for you, though you'd have to keep going even without having me around." Maybe winning at the tournament itself would help Ronan, after all his father was a famous fighter, right? Maybe that brought them closer? Who knew.

      "Just tell me how I can help taking your mind off of things and I'll do it.", Caelan smiled, his fingers drawing circles on Ronans back , he even pulled him a little closer and on top of his chest, he wanted to keep him close. "I'm actually not sure if I can relax the whole day, I said that without thinking, though having you close makes it easier, I'm not yet aching to stand up.", Caelan smiled and of course Ronan was allowed to keep cuddling with him, he was anytime. "Well... you have to decide, I either read or I don't shut up, I can't exactly do both, unless you want me to just act like I'm reading." Grinning he still stretched for the book on the nightstand. He opened it up and started trying to figure out where he left off. Could he really read it while having Ronan this close though? It was emberassing how much a few written words affected him.

    • "You're the rashest guy I've ever met, I'll give you that. But I don't want to dive into that head first, not right now. I'm tired and you can chase me through the woods later, maybe even tomorrow - I know, I should be more motivated if I want results anytime soon, but trust me when I say that I'm just exhausted from existing", in general, this wasn't a sentiment that was anything new, especially not if it came from someone like him. Training with Caelan wasn't a bad idea, though - nobody would disturb them out here and they'd get to do whatever they wanted to, without having to go through much of a hassle, either. "Come up with something and I'll pull through with it. Maybe that'll distract me from your absence once you're actually gone", it was a small sound that spilled from his lips, but it wasn't the most welcoming or loving one at that. Right now, he felt good - welcomed in Caelans arms, as if the tides of this world couldn't turn anytime soon and change every aspect of their feelings for one another - but when it all did, when it all came crashing down, he'd not be prepared for it, anyway. "It feels so odd, talking about how you'll be gone so soon and not getting to spend time with you for quite a while, but ... I'll make it up to you."

      Right now, right here, he couldn't get on his knees, or just slide off of the bed. Instead, he nuzzled his face into Caelans side, his eyes already closed and his arms losely clinging to him. "Hard to say, maybe you being here is a good start", without Caelan, it felt as if there was a part of him missing - not a small one at that. And yet, he'd spent all of his life, frantically searching for that part of his that never was to be with him, as it seemed. If one could judge their situation, it wasn't a fun one; they were forced to live around one another until hell froze over, but the moments they'd be able to spend together were - in the end - few and far between. "Good, then stay where you are, I want to cherish this moment", he murmured, his bad mood slowly dissipating. Ronan was convinced they belonged together, but in the end, who could really tell? Caelan could just be confused, he himself could just be confused and they both were reaching for something they shouldn't even touch. "Mh, I'll let you read, but if you need anything, don't hesitate to just ... strike up a conversation again", he said, shortly peering up before pressing his face back into the warm, clothed skin and ignoring his responsibilites until further notice. Was he really this tired? A nap wouldn't hurt, no ...
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Well... you have to promise me though to keep up with your schedule while I'm not here to force you.", Caelan answered with a smile and let his hand run through Ronans hair. "You seem like the jogging kind of guy you know, I think it will even do you good to go outside and run a few minutes every day. You are training your body while at the same time get outside, be alone for a few minutes and it does wonders if you have to think about something." Of course Ronan needed to be motivated first, but maybe if they started that here together, he'd adapt it at home. Caelan would do it in a pace Ronan was comfortable with, not too far and not too fast. "And to top it up and get some strength into your arms, how about fifty sword swings a day, moving up if it gets too easy?", he asked grinning, of course Ronan could do a lot more, but Caelan wasn't sure if he was up for it and if he had the time. "You'll make it up to me? As much as you're not with me, I'm not with you, sadly. But we'll pull through and meet again soon enough, we'll figure something out and in summer there are a lot of those events anyway and we can meet without raising suspicion."

      "Well being here is not hard, I can do that.", Caelan chuckled, Ronan looked like he could fall asleep again at any second, did he want that? Well, Caelan wouldn't stop him if he didn't ask and maybe if Ronan was asleep, it wasn't so embarrassing to keep reading. Caelan held the book with one hand while the other was drawing small circles on Ronans back, he'd only need to raise his hand to turn the pages while he read. If Ronan wanted to just lie here and close his eyes, that was fine. The sight alone was almost too cute to concentrate on that book, but Caelan kept reading while Ronans breathing changed. He'd probably start drooling on Caelans shirt like that, but that in itself was pretty sweet and Caelan tried to turn the pages as silently as he could.

    • "Fine then. I, Ronan of Alster, hereby declare that I will keep up with Caelan of Fhaergus' training regimen, even if he's not there to physically torture me", he joked, but in the end, he meant it. This had been his own request, came from his own volition - he wasn't going to flunk out just because he was alone and saddled with paperwork - not in a hundred years. "Going outside? Sounds horrible. But, why not?" Did he really hate going out that much? Well, he disliked it during the winter months when frost seeped into his bones and his flesh tingled after only a few minutes, signaling him that it was too damn cold and that he should go inside, should huddle up in there and preferably never come back out again. His room had been his safespace all his life - it was the only place he seemingly wasn't bothered in, that he could retreat to until he had to attend other matters and Ronan wouldn't hurt himself by just taking it away again. "Alright, I'll swing my blade at you and we'll see if you can dodge, then", he proposed, as stubborn as ever, but why not? That way, he'd get to train and Caelan would be able to get some in as well. "Alright, if you don't want a reward ..."

      He'd cuddled up to his lover and had drifted off eventually, sooner than expected - Ronan had just given in to his own urges and yet he'd been nagging about wanting to get up an hour or two ago, didn't he? At least their life out here was a serene one; they could have whatever they wanted and spend their time as they liked - and nobody would bother them, not even the sun and the moon, they were with one another and didn't need anyone else. Ronan eventually rose, his head a bit dizzy and his drool on Caelans shirt - how long had it been? He didn't know. Instead, he cuddled back up to the blonde some more, rubbing his own face against the wet spot in Caelans shirt that he'd left and pulling back all of sudden. "I drooled on you ...", he murmured and rubbed his eyes as he sat back up, on his knees. Stretching himself and yawning came first, then he peered to Caelan who still lay there and had to endure him for what felt like an eternity. "How long did I sleep? I ... didn't want to, sorry." Despite usually lacking the ability to wake up fast enough, he was pretty fast right now, wasn't he? "How's the book?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Torture is such a harsh word...", Caelan chuckled, but for Ronan maybe it was torture. Maybe they could find a way Ronan had fun with though, that would be best. For Caelan training wasn't hard or a nuisance, he always liked moving around, so all of that came naturally, but he had to force himself to read a damn book in exchange. Ronan was quite the opposite, but as much as the book wasn't half as bad, the feeling after working out would maybe feel good to Ronan too. "It'll do you good to breath some fresh air.", Caelan simply answered grinning and Ronans room was probably somehow depressing, at least if he never left it... "If you want me to dodge, I'll do my best, though I'm more the punching back kinda guy... not making it too easy for me though, are we?" Caelan laughed a little bit and he was hoping he'd be allowed to use his sword for defense at least, what if he didn't jump away quick enough?

      Caelan let Ronan sleep and while he snorted away Caelan kept reading the book and the time just flew past them. At some point his arms started to hurt from holding the book up, but soon enough Ronan woke up anyway. It took him just a few moments to realize he had been asleep and that he had been drooling on Caelan meanwhile. "Don't sweat it.", he smiled, setting the book aside while Ronan stretched himself. Well waking up didn't seem as hard all the time at least, he looked awake and that without Caelans help. Maybe because this just was a nap. "I actually don't know, but I think it's just noon.", Caelan answered, he only could tell by the sun forcing its way into the hut and maybe by the burnt firewood. "The book's... interesting.", he answered with a grin, if he kept up the pace he'd be trough in no time. "So what now?"

    • In the end, the reason he awoke had been one he couldn't remember - but he did, because his body was tired of sleeping itself and he appreciated that, knowing fully well he'd probably nag about not being woken up otherwise. "Still, I don't want to sleep the entire day away, knowing I could have done something else, you know?" Silence wouldn't befall the two of them anytime soon, that was for certain, but the other reason he didn't want to waste any of his time here was because it was incredibly limited - because they couldn't stay out here for forever and just live as they pleased. "You read the entire time? Well, that makes for a good distraction while I'm asleep and drooling all over you ... at least I didn't bite you", he mumbled, sinking back onto his ass and on the bed subsequently, even if he maybe should get up, drink something and then check on the fireplaces. "Interesting? Just that?", he chuckled, in a better mood then before and actually getting up and out of bed. "Hmm, I'm going to drink something and after that, I don't know. Do you want to keep reading? Or do you want to try out something else? Any questions?"

      Without even waiting for anything, he got up and waltzed right back into the kitchen, stretching his cold limbs and trying to warm up just a bit as the cold still seemed to hang around in his fingertips - annoying, as always. Instead of settling for water, he grabbed the kettle and decided he'd rather reheat the tea than waste it and promptly got to it, peering out of the window while doing so and observing the snow-coated landscape for a moment - there wasn't much more than vast nothing, consisting of snow and trees, out there and yet, he only got pulled out of his daydream when he heard the kettle whistle a familiar tune. Ronan grabbed ahold of a small cloth that was situated on one of the counters, grabbed the kettle off of the hook and set it aside for a moment before he got his teacup from earlier. "Do you want some tea, too?", he asked, but instead of really waiting for an answer, poured two cups anyway - Ronan was sure that Caelan wouldn't mind, instead he brought the cups back to bed and situated one of them on Caelans nightstand, before he sat down his cup on his own. "Now, I actually don't know what to do if I'm terribly honest."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Yeah I know, it feels like wasting time.", Caelan nodded smiling, agreeing with Ronan and as long as they were together he rather spent his time with Ronan than doing anything else, though having him sleep in his arms, even having him drool on him was fine in itself. It was cute anyway and Caelan had him close, that was all he wanted. "Yeah... wait, what? Do you bite while you're asleep?", Caelan asked laughing, not sure if he understood correctly. The drool on his shirt didn't bother him much, but maybe he'd change it if the opportunity arose. "Yeah interesting... what do you want to hear?" Caelan grinned, he wouldn't know how to begin to describe what he just read the last hour or two. It was nothing he could find anywhere else and he wasn't sure how to feel while reading those words, as much as he wasn't sure what to do with it now exactly. Should he just pin Ronan to the bed and try some of that? "Questions? What questions?", he asked... about the book? Well, so many, but that wasn't really something Ronan could answer with words alone probably. "We can read, or take a walk, or cuddle, we don't need to worry for food for tonight, but we could hunt and add some meat... I don't mind what we do actually."

      Ronan already got up, he was energetic all of a sudden and he prepared the tea anew as it seemed. Caelan meanwhile grabbed the book again to at least finish the paragraph he had just read and not leave somewhere in the middle. It had been easier with Ronan asleep instead of him looming in the next room, why did reading that stuff make Caelans cheeks flush? It was kind of embarrassing and so he rather put it away again as soon as he found a good spot to stop. Ronan came back and Caelan reached for the cup he got without actually answering to Ronans question. He took a sip and put it away again... too hot for now. "I don't know either.", Caelan grinned. He rolled closer t Ronans side and reached for his knee and because nothing else was in reach right now, he pulled up Ronans shirt just a little bit to expose his skin and kiss a small spot on his back. "Do you have enough of the bed? Wanna move a little? I don't mind either way, you could cuddle up to me again as well."

    • "And I'd rather not do that, you know?", he uttered, knowing fully well that relaxing wasn't exactly wasting time if said time was spent together with his lover - but what else should he do? Truth be told, nothing much came to mind and the things that did felt like they'd be as bad as wasting ones time on all of these things - on so much stuff that didn't even matter. "Not ... really, but I just wanted to make sure. I'm not entirely sure that my biting feels all that pleasant." And as if someone had told him, he covered his mouth for a second by raising his hand up to it and hide his teeth behind it. Sometimes he did, but often enough he disregarded it. Truth be told, Ronan tried a lot of stuff one too many times and most of it felt as if it was nothing more than a waste of time, even though he felt more secure that way - just like he did in Caelans arms, once he'd found himelf in those. "Oh, nothing. I'm just glad you're reading it and keeping a straight face." They both weren't little kids anymore, that was true, but one could still laugh about things as surreal as these, things as strange as the ones the book was talking about. In the end, it didn't matter what they did, as long as they finally found a way to, no? "Anything about the book, or its contents, or something entirely else - whatever comes to mind, really", Ronan specified in the end, unwilling to let Caelan just guess - even though the suspense would've been nice. "So you want to add some meat to the broth? I mean, if you are aching to get up. I would have to check if I have suitable hunting gear, though - I doubt we can slay a rabbit with that sword of mine."

      It didn't have to be a rabbit, but what else would they hunt out here? A deer would outrun them, a boar would attack them and trying to find something like a wolf or a bear - who didn't even taste good - was akin to committing suicide. Now that the tea was too hot for either of them to drink, Ronan let it rest and just enjoyed the warmth that the slightly crammed bed emitted - they both had all the time in the world for now, even if that came to an end eventually, did it really and truly matter when? "Hm, seems like we're indecisive, both of us", he mumbled and let the blonde do as he seemed fit, even if he'd want nothing more than to kiss him back, on the mouth that was. The kiss felt good, even if the sudden surge of cold air felt a bit weird and ended up giving him more goosebumps yet again - maybe he should just cover himself with the sheets under them? No, he wasn't dying from the cold - rather, he was sensitive. "I actually have an idea", Ronan said, turned around and faced the blonde before he came close yet again and, as anyone would, searched for a good spot in front of his chest. Once that was accomplished, he was the one that fumbled with the blondes shirt for a while - as buttonless as it was - and inched upward just a bit so that he could press a kiss to Caelans lips and steadily wander downward to his jaw, then his throat and eventually back to his collar, where he - instead of softly kissing it - bit down.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Well you did bite me before, didn't you? Hard to miss those marks on me. But I didn't complain.", Caelan said grinning. Why was Ronan all of a sudden concerned about his bites? He had his lips and teeth all over Caelans body before, not only on the spots visible on his neck and chest, in fact the thought of this fact alone made Caelans cheek flash up once more. He reached out for Ronans hand and pulled it awa from his mouth softly. "Don't hide from me...", he murmured with a smile and let go again. "I uh... well you haven't seen me while I read it.", Caelan let out accompanied by a small laugh, admitting that he didn't just brush off all of what he read just like that. "Well you already told me where this stuff is coming from and as for the content... I... I guess I'll have questions if we were to do any of that while doing it, but not right now, no. Just... don't have too high expectations, alright? It's just a book after all, isn't it?" Caelan feeling a little bit shy and embarrassed was unusual for him, but he did and he worried he couldn't keep up with what Ronan imagined to happen, just a little bit. "A bow is enough, I'd be able to build an improvised one if we need it, but that would take a while. Meat is not mandatory, just a distraction if we can't think of anything else to do."

      "Well I'm pretty sure what you like to do is different from what I do when I'm bored... though I'm not opposed to just relax with you here or read.", Caelan answered, they were both so different, but Caelan didn't mind, he didn't mind doing something else for a change or really anything as long as he was able to spend time with Ronan instead of being on his own. Caelan looked up as soon as Ronan said he in fact had an idea. The fellow noble came close again, letting Caelans heart skip a beat and kiss him back, while leaning back onto the pillows. The buttonless shirt seemed to be a new obstacle Ronan faced there, maybe Caelan should just quickly get rid of it, but he didn't want to move away from Ronans touch and his soft kisses. That was not one of Ronans most original ideas, but Caelan wasn't against spending time like this together and he started with moving his hands around Ronans body and let them slide under his shirt, pushing it up just a little bit. "See? You bit me again and I'm not complaining.", he said with his grumbling voice. It did sting a little bit, feeling those teeth on his skin but it felt good, Ronan needn't worry. "But now, kiss me again." Caelan wanted to feel Ronans lips on his own and kiss him back, he wanted to hold him in his arms, though he held him pretty much since they woke up.

    • "I'm not sure if you had the chance to shy away, though", he concluded, as if it changed anything that they weren't entranced by the heat of the moment. Ronan was fairly certain that he, no matter what, would end up hurting the blonde one way or another, but until that happened, didn't he have enough time? Wasn't that just him worrying about so much trivial stuff while also diving headfirst into it? Breaking bones or running around like a maniac wasn't something someone his age should be unable to do, but at the same time, someone his age should love somebody, one way or another, or at least have a comically large ring on his finger that he could show off - instead, he stole himself away, alongside his fellow noble, hid away from his parents, unaware of any danger that was about to come his way. His eyes wandered to Caelans hand that got rid of his own and he didn't know how to feel about it, but left the whole situation uncommented. "I was asleep, drooling on your shirt, dreaming about god knows what", he answered, contradicting himself to the fullest. What else could he have said? He didn't know, maybe the great Caelan of Fhaergus was - actually - embarrassed by the contents of the book he was reading, or rather being forced to read by none other than him, a shortlived affair, at best. "I'm not expecting all that much, don't worry. It's your first time and ... my first time, I'll try to offer you help where I can." If they'd talk about it like this in public, someone who wasn't paying close attention would assume they were talking about something entirely else - but nobody heard them out here and it was better that way. "I should have bow here, some arrows too, but ... I'd have to check where and if they're in usable condition."

      That'd be all they needed, alongside some patience - and maybe, just because he felt generous, he'd bring that sword of his and a knife if he could find one, just in case they needed something, anything. That'd also be an opportunity to go and collect some small branches that had broken off from trees and partially buried beneath the snow, just to get the fireplace going a little bit easier. "When I'm bored, I ... well, I'm bored most of the time. I just find ways to ignore it or occupy myself with so much work that, in the end, it doesn't even matter if I was bored", he told the blonde, speaking of so much nonsensical stuff yet again. Ronan this, Ronan that - in the end he felt more like a damn duke than his father was, but then again, there was nobody sharing his pain or the sentiment and nobody who'd support him, either. Everything he had was himself, at least until a few days ago - now he had Caelan. Someone he could bother, or just play endless games with, someone that he'd always wanted to be by his side - someone he couldn't let go again, ever. "Oh, you aren't? Maybe I should bite you harder, then", he commented and before being able to hear Caelans words, bit down - rather softly - on his skin, just below the spot he'd had his teeth on earlier. "Demanding, are we?", Ronan chuckled, moving from his spot just for a second to kiss Caelan on the lips, to bite his lower lip as softly as he could and then to pull away again, not far - after all, he liked to look at the blonde, especially at his face.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "Just keep going with what you're doing... it feels good, all of it.", Caelan answered with a smile, he didn't want to miss Ronans touch, everything he did sent a tingling sensation across his whole body and he never had felt that way before, in fact he was pretty sure he found no person in the entire world - man or woman - that would be able to make him feel like Ronan did. At the same time spending time with him here seemed so easy, no matter what they did it was right and no second of them just being together would ever be a wasted one, it didn't matter if they went out to hunt or just cuddle under the blanket in the bed. "What did you dream about? About me perhaps?", Caelan asked intrigued and let out a short laugh, Ronan probably didn't remember and it wasn't important anyway. At least he had looked peaceful while he slept, so he couldn't have dreamed too bad. "Help...? Because you read a lot more than me? Well at least I have some real life experience.", he answered grinning, Ronan sounded like an expert, a teacher of some sorts but he hadn't done any of this himself, did he? "I can try fixing it if it's broken."

      Caelan had to chuckle again. "Well that sounds... kind of weird. But I'm just training or going outside myself if I'm bored, that's nothing more exciting." Caelan had no real work he had to do, even if he wanted to help his father with his affairs, he wouldn't let him, because he didn't trust him, Caelan knew as much so he had stopped asking. As Ronan bit Caelan again it didn't hurt either, but just for the sake of it Caelan let out a sighing "Ouch...?", just to tease Ronan a little bit. Afterwards at least he complied to come closer, Caelan kissed him back, chuckled a little bit when he felt Ronans teeth and as he moved away, Caelan followed him a few inches, until he let his head fall back into the pillows, looking at Ronan who just denied him more of what felt so good. Caelans cheeks were probably red again and he looked at Ronan somewhat longing. "More... I want more...", he said, softly pulling on Ronans shoulder and almost looking like a child who wanted to be carried by his parents already.

    • "Does it now?" The thrill, the mere thought of unraveling all that Caelan was made his heart beat faster than it should, told him so much more about himself than he ever thought he'd know. This was what he wanted, what he desired - there was nothing else, not a single thing that he didn't want, but he wouldn't dare to be greedy. He'd take whatever his lover wanted to give him, cherish it for nothing more than a second and then move onto the next one, only to come back to it and appreciate it again - that was all there was. Being together with the blonde felt like a dream come true, like all of his worries were washed away by the oceans breeze and all of it - too much of it - would be brought back by the same breeze, bestowed upon him. Right now, he was forgetting the many things he was supposed to worry about, for himself, for his lover, just so that he could worry later and he didn't regret it, not a single second - he wanted all of this, as much as he wanted to never let go again. "Who knows, maybe it was about you, maybe it wasn't - but I doubt a dream could feel as good as this." In the end, this hadn't been more than sharing some tender love, hadn't been more than spending time together and trying to figure out one another, after all, knowing ones partner was important, was it now? "With girls you didn't even give a damn about", he chuckled, exhilarated not only about that, but also the fact that Caelan was, well, his. "We'll see about that when we get to that."

      His bad mood from earlier had dissipated, the nap had done wonders for him and not only helped pass some time, but it also had proven to be useful in more than one way. Ronan felt excitement crawl up his already dry throat, knowing fully well that maybe he'd not be able to let go so easily this time. "I'm nothing more than what I should be, so I don't try to stir up ruckus. Somebody has to act like a good son once in a while, you know?" This wasn't exactly what he wanted to talk about, but he spared Caelan the grimacing and the bad mood that would follow after a conversation like that, just for now, as longas he could contain it. Now, his cheeks were flaring up, a single word was responsible for it and a bad feeling stirred in his gut. "Did ... did that really hurt?", he asked, his cheeky demeanor dropped and his eyes fixated on Caelan who seemingly denied it with that kiss of his, who was merely joking, right? "Oh you little ...!", he chuckled, visibily embarrased, maybe even a bit angry, but not enough to send this situation off the rails. Ronan stared instead, fully content with the reactions he got, with Caelans equally red face. "You are demanding today, not even saying please." But instead of letting the blonde suffer, he kissed him once more - messy at that - and move back down, kiss his jaw and his throat, before biting it ever so slightly, moving onto his collarbone and then his shoulder, pulling around the shirt so that he could access all those areas. His hands were busy supporting his body like that, but ... "You want to get out of that pesky shirt?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "From the first second on... the first second I touched your skin at that lake... and our first kiss in your room... I'm glad you were as bold as you were back then." It wasn't too long ago but Caelan was sure that he would be able to remember their kiss even in years from now. He was drunk, yes, but he did want it, he did think about it, but he didn't have the guts to do it, instead Ronan made the first move and pushed Caelan off an edge he didn't know he stood on. Everything felt right all of a sudden, everything felt clear and all he did at that lake, like how he found a reason to touch him, to the time with his friends, the cardgame... Caelan had wanted this all along, but he wasn't able to see it. Now he was though and he was happy about it. He didn't care that this was going to be complicated, that no one could know... he still wanted it. "Now you're flirting with me.", Caelan pointed out chuckling and his hand slowly moved over Ronans soft skin. "Well at least girls are alive, not like those damn books." Caelan laughed just a little bit, they both knew exactly nothing in the end.

      "Act like a good son sounds about right and in truth you bring your lover to a shabby hut and be bad, huh?", Caelan chuckled, diverting the conversation just a little bit, since he didn't want to repeat what happened before. It was fine to talk about their parents and be mad about it, but not now. Caelan tried to contain a laugh when Ronan was so close to apologizing for his bite, Caelan was pretty sure he didn't act like he meant it, but Ronan sometimes was just so insecure which made him cute. He noticed himself though and Caelan let out the rest of his small laughter, the part he couldn't swallow down completely. "Please, I want more...", Caelan repeated just like Ronan wanted it, sighing in joy when the nobles lips left his own again to move around his skin. When Ronan asked him to remove his shirt, Caelans hands moved down to his lower back, before he put some strength in sitting up with Ronan together. Then he first let his own hands slip under Ronans shirt to move it upwards and eventually over his head and while he was getting rid of that, Caelan pulled his own shirt over his head. Immediately afterwards he pulled Ronan towards him, pressed his tender body against his own, feeling his soft skin and now he was the one kissing Ronans neck softly.

    • "Now you're getting kitschy", Ronan chuckled, feeling good about the sudden praise but ... wasn't Caelan getting a bit too bold? Even if fortune did favor the bold, he was spanning the bow that they had shared between the two of them and taking it so far, Ronan feared the bowstring would snap as soon as they went andy further than this and stopped. The kiss had been engrained into his mind, much like the rest of the evening, but among bottles of wine they shouldn't be drinking, they were nothing more than rowdy teenagers that did what they wanted and maybe they thought about the consequences, but not long enough for them to really matter. What he had done was nothing short of insane and Caelan was also at fault, could have pushed him away, could have forced him to leave at any time, but instead he took what he'd gotten, wanted it himself and made no secret of it. Not around Ronan, at least. "Am I? What makes you think that? Do I even need to when I already have you wrapped around my finger?" Wasn't he right? Caelan was already doing his bidding, listening exclusively to him and if one didn't know better, they'd assume that it'd always been like that - but the catch was, nobody would see them like this and they both were at one anothers mercy. "But someone who was alive, at one point or another, would have to write those books and would have had experiences with the subject matter, wouldn't they?" Why else would anyone write about something like that anyway?

      "Nobody said I actually had to be good and besides, I'm not seeing that lover of mine complaining about any of this, so why shouldn't I be bad from time to time?", he laughed, knowing fully well that this was supposed to be wrong, supposed to be a sin of some sort, but frankly, Ronan of Alster had stopped caring some time ago. When, he wasn't exactly sure, but eyeing his fathers servants from time to time, up and down and then doing the same with Caelan, who he found hot - to say it in the most simple way - gave him a loose idea, if anything. The books didn't help, either. His mother already had a package to carry and so did he, but he only kept adding onto it with his foolishness - the problem was, he didn't care - didn't care about his ragged breath, or his heart hammering against his chest or those flushed cheeks of his. Ronan only cared about the thrill, about feeling good and about Caelan, who made him feel good, who's touches burned themselves into his cold skin and were enough to let warmth pool in his stomach, enough to give him indecent thoughts. "If you want more, beg for it, puppy", he demanded all of a sudden, a sly grin forming on his face and yet the puppy had different ideas, rid them both of their shirts and caused a shiver to run through his body, to let his hair stand on end - it wasn't exactly warm in here, but he'd manage. The blondes skin felt like it burned holes into his own, yet it was undeniably good, so so good, he didn't want him to let go again, instead let his hands wander and draw soft circles into the warm skin, all while enjoying the kisses on his neck. "What is it that you want, Caelan?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • "I'm sorry...", Caelan said with a slight smile, but he did mean it. They wouldn't be here if Ronan hadn't kissed him, Caelan at least wouldn't have know what it was he wanted, but he did want to know. "Don't be shy about it... if I'm honest, I did search for a reason to touch you at the lake already, I just didn't know it myself.", he told him honestly. Ronan didn't want to be praised, he did say as much, but what was Caelan about to do if he was all those things? Just shut up? Probably. "I've invented flirting, I know how that sounds!", Caelan answered laughing. "ou might have wrapped me around your finger, but you never know how much? Better keep the fire burning." Caelans eyes slowly moved towards the book lying on the nightstand and all of a sudden he vividly imagined what he had read just... with Ronan and himself instead of those characters of the book. With red cheeks he looked at Ronan again. "Well you're right... but that doesn't let you know all of that, unless you wrote it."

      "Of course I'm not complaining! Bad boy...", Caelan chuckled teasingly, all of what they did was wrong, if Ronan was a good boy, he wouldn't dare touching Caelan, but he did and it felt good. And he wasn't just a bad boy, he also was starting to get cocky again, though Caelan didn't mind at all. Caelan stopped his kisses to mutter in Ronans ear. "Please... I beg of you? Keep kissing me, keep touching me..." Did he mean all that? Yes, but he wasn't really bagging for that Ronan wasn't teasing him enough and in fact Caelan was able to take whatever he wanted right now, he was pretty sure of that, he even was asked what he wanted. "I want you to get out of those pants... and then I'll wrap you in one of the blankets, while helping you stay warm, how does that sound...?", he asked and while he said it he let one hand slip into Ronans pants, placing it firmly on his butt.

    • "And now you're sorry about something that you shouldn't be", he laughed, finding the situation almost too comical to be true. Ronan knew fully well that they were committing sins here, that there was nothing nice about all of this is one thought about it for a little while longer, but in the end, what mattered was - most likely - everything but that. "So you weren't just being nice to me, you had an ulterior motive. Well, if you dared to touch me at the lake, I'm not sure if I'd have let you just do whatever you wanted, you know?" Ronan would've been too startled, too confused about what he'd been offered all of a sudden and truth be told, he'd probably have felt like Caelan was doing nothing but teasing him, trying his earnest to make him show a side of himself that nobody should have seen to begin with - at least that was, what Ronan thought he'd have thought. "You invented it? Get off of your high horse then and show me", another, albeit small laughter escaped his lips. Truth be told, he wasn't counting on any of this to work, or on them to just do what they wanted, right here, right now. Actually, was Caelan even in the mood for pulling through? "At this rate, I'm going to explode." He'd spill his guts on the floor like they'd belong there and not in the good way, despite only feeling mildly peeved and a lot more playful than usually. "I didn't because I'm a decent son, so I guess you win - though, must've been hard to fake enjoying all of those nights. Which ... makes me wonder, but I think that question is a bit too personal."

      The last thing he wantedwas to be seen as annoying, or too distracting or really anything of the sort. He could be nosy if he wanted to and right now, he was indeed asking himself if he really wanted to be just that - to ask Caelan if he even was relieved after a night of pretending, or if he just had to keep on pretending and eventually look for a way out, to have a quite moment and relieve himself any other way. "You're the one chastisting me now? How cute", he almost mocked and stuck his tongue out for a brief moment, grinning at the blonde like a stupid idiot that didn't know any better and had lost all of his manners instead, just to get what he wanted - which was a begging puppy infront of him, preferably kneeling and crying about wanting someone that only he could give him. Being in power felt nice, too nice in fact. "If I feel generous, I might as well. Good puppy", he replied and leaned over, planted another short kiss on the rugged lips of the blonde and bit a variety of spots, all while his hands were just doing whatever they thought'd be alright. "You're making demands and haven't even fulfilled your end of the bargain, not even fulfilled my wish. You are pretty selfish, but ... I can punish you later, for all that it's worth. How does that sound?", he asked and would, probably, be lying if he said that the hand on his ass didn't at least feel nice. Before even waiting for any kind of instructions, he wrested himself free and as he did, tossing the pair of pants out of the bed, let his hands wander to the button of Caelans. "And now be good and get rid of yours, too."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.

    • Caelan let one hand slide to Ronans cheek, caressing it and moving away some of his hair. He looked at him while thinking a few days back. "I did touch you, remember? Put my arm around you in the lake... and got you to take off your shirt. But I stopped and tickled you instead of doing anything else. I told myself I was just teasing you, because you made it so easy, but that wasn't true. At first I thought you'd not let me anyway, it was a joke I needed to pull through with after you didn't act like I expected, but the truth is, I was hoping for it. I couldn't just kiss you though and even with a good amount of wine I needed you to do it. And that though I'm supposed to be the brave one!" Caelan chuckled a little bit and kept brushing over Ronans cheek. "What? Every time I try flirting with you, you either get red like a tomato or it is too much and you complain about the compliments I give you!", Caelan retaliated and then looked up a little bit surprised about Ronans question. "It's not really, if you want to know something that's fine. I do enjoy good company and some fun, so it's not like flirting with a girl was annoying from the get go, just kissing her - or more - didn't feel exciting, not like it does with you.", he explained. "Just ask if you want to know anything."

      When Ronan stick out his tongue, Caelan moved forward to just kiss him, forcing him to pull his tongue back in or be alright with playing with Caelans a little bit. If he wanted to do something with it, he rather put it to good use. Caelan soon enough also got what he wanted, felt Ronans warm breath, his lips and his teeth all over him and it felt nice. His hands kept moving over Ronans body. "You asked me what I wanted, so I told you... but I'm not opposing to the idea of fulfilling your wish now?", Caelan said with a smile, softly biting Ronans neck. "Punish me...? You also promised me so many rewards, it's only natural for a puppy to go rogue if it doesn't get what it's promised." Caelan looked up, watching Ronan get rid of his pants and almost immediately unbuttoning Caelans own. He didn't need Ronan to ask a second time, so he moved a little bit to toss his own pants on the floor. Then he grabbed a blanket just like he promised and tossed it over the two of them, while crawling back towards Ronan, kissing his stomach and chest, in fact he wanted to kiss every inch of Ronans skin.

    • Always, every damn time - Caelans touches felt otherworldly, as if it was everything hat he needed, as if there was nothing else he should concern himself with. Ronan was aware of so many things, but not on this one - not until now. This felt like something he'd wanted without knowing and leaning into the blondes touches was something he couldn't stop doing, after all, he wanted more than he was given and he wanted so much more than he should be asking for. Wasn't he bad, wasn't he horrible at best? Ronan wanted so much and didn't want to give anything back, only wanted to have his fellow noble for himself and never share him with anyone ever again. "Well, you did touch me but in the most innocent way I can think of. You didn't really dare do anything and truth be told, I was pretty mean to you, too!" He wasn't doing much more than to annoy the everloving fuck out of his lover and deny him so much more than he did now, but ... that had changed pretty quickly. Now they were here, in a shabby cabin in the woods, occupied with one another and back in bed, revelling in the touches they received. "Alright then! Flirt with me as much as you want, I'll try to contain myself!" All of this felt like it was agonizing, but he didn't mind - in fact, it sufficed that he spent most of his time just trying to accept all of these foreign feelings and accepting what he couldn't. "I mean ... I'm not in any position to ask, but ... were you even satisified when you slept with them?"

      Ronan was as blunt as ever and Caelan got his revenge in form of a kiss, all sloppy and sudden, but he didn't mind - this was, what he had coming and if the blonde got comfortable with all of this that way, then it was alright, wasn't it? They both had to learn, had to try and understand one another, but other than that, there wasn't much more to be done except enjoying what they were doing and that was alright with Ronan, who felt like his face was burning up again, who felt like he was burning to fine crisp. "That'd mean you'd have to get out of bed and I'd have to look for some rope, so ... maybe later", he retaliated, not wanting to give up the warmth he was receiving. Actually, now he was the one unsure about whether or not he could bear to tie up his puppy, just for the sake of trying something out and then having a go at it. "And yet you can't wait for anything. I'm not going to promise you any rewards from now on or I won't ever hear the end of this, will I now?", he sighed and pressed a kiss onto his lovers lips yet again, trying to make him shut up. Maybe it was better that way and maybe, just maybe, punishing a rowdy puppy would help him. Surely, this was going to end in a disaster - not a bad one - but the kisses made the butterflies in his stomach flutter, more than he should - why the hell was Caelan capable of such a feat to begin with? "You're too good to me, you know?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.