sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

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    • "No one would expect you to be the culprit of those.", Caelan grinned. No that was impossible, not with his reputation and not with Ronans general invisibility to others, he maintained for a while now. No one would even think about it, after all this was nothing people did, it was a sin, it was bad and punished by death at the very least, so why would two Lords indulge in any of it, if they have never shown any signs of it? Caelan felt pretty safe about that. "I think I won't have to beg, nor would I need to use a wish to have you kneel before me again.", Caelan grinned pretty confident, so he really had no idea what he should wish for. Maybe a chance arose with time. "You should also practice wearing high shoes, you know? Maybe you can look me in the eye without tiptoeing for once then.", he laughed, knowing all too well that that probably infuriated Ronan, he liked joking around with him.

      "Good to know.", Caelan hummed, he'd make good use of that, that was for certain. This morning could have gone wrong if only one of them had acted like nothing happened or the alcohol made them forget. It could have been awkward if they weren't okay with all of that and came clean with themselves and their feelings. Ronan seemed like he admitted to it a long time ago and Caelan generally didn't care about rules and doctrine, but rather about how he felt and he felt good. Deep down he probably knew he was gay before that night, tried to force this urge out of him, because after all he didn't want to be a disappointment to his father. It didn't matter how often he said he didn't care and how little he tried to please him, it didn't matter how far Ronan and he ran to escape their fathers grasps, after all they still were their sons, wanting to be appreciated. "Of course I'll take good care of you!" However, Caelan wanted to be true to himself as he always was and he knew, that those butterflies in his stomach were nothing that would just pass like that, it meant something, namely that Ronan was the one person he wanted to spend his time with. "Whatever room you prefer.", Caelan smiled, but he was pretty sure, that Allards room was close if not next to his. "Maybe we'll better stick with this one.", he said, changing his mind, he didn't want his father to know any of this and he certainly didn't want him to hear something that should stay unheard. Even with a girl he would prefer her room over his own. "I can't go out without a shirt... remember what you told me by the lake.", he chuckled and leaned forward for a kiss. "Hike somewhere? Sit outside? Isn't that dangerous, what if some other couple has the same idea?", he asked, though did he just say that? Calling them a couple maybe was a little premature, though he really wanted to call Ronan his and his alone.
    • „I wouldn‘t put some of them past them to not believe whatever lie you can come up with“, he retaliated, but it was seemingly unlikely. People would think that Caelan of Fhaergus had enjoyed yesterday night a little bit too much, had dragged a girl back to his room and left it at that, whereas most of them were - most likely - convinced that Ronan was either keeping to himself or maybe he wasn‘t feeling well enough to leave his room. His sickly reputation would probably be the cause why nobody even cared if they saw him or not, they accepted that he was who he was and that it was fine for him to just try and enjoy himself as best as he could, even if he barely ever did. „Oh? Is the puppy full of himself? I don‘t take commands from you, I do what I want“, Ronan hissed, already getting agitated again - Caelan was good at riling him up, even more so over something stupid like this and as if he didn‘t already know that this was but a stupid joke, he fell for it every single time. „Fuck you, Caelan“, the noble answered, his expression twisting into a stern but very much apparent frown.

      „I could have been dishonest“, he answered, fought himself out of his fellow nobles grasp and left it at that for now, reaching for the rest of his clothes and putting them back on. Caelan wasn‘t wrong, he would appear taller with some high heels, but it wouldn‘t help him against someone like that, who was way taller from the get go. Once he was wearing all of his clothes, he sat back down on the bed - not before grabbing his boots and dragging them with him. Getting into them was always a nightmare, maybe because he would have to get used to being a few centimeters taller after he wore them, or maybe because they were ... just there to hide some more of his insecurities. Ronan knew that he wasn‘t the tallest, that he wasn‘t the strongest and all of it - eventually - was something that he had to attribute to himself being an insecure mess and nothing more than that. With Caelan around, it felt like nothing of it did matter, but words were still a knife that was being forced into his body and twisted around. „You better do or I‘ll throw you out“, the noble murmured, finishing his task soon enough and getting back up on his feet, only for the dizziness to come rushing back all at once and disappearing seconds after. „Lets come back here, then.“ It was a promise for another meeting they shouldn‘t been having, with ulterior motives that shouldn‘t even be thought about. „Well, but not THAT hideous thing, urgh“, well, it was for the best if Caelan continued to wear his damn shirt, that was for sure. After that, what else was he supposed to do? Just sneak out of here? Well, whatever it was, Ronan walked back up to Caelan and kissed him - wasn‘t that what he‘d wanted before he‘d just left him standing there. „When did I agree to date you? And also, if you make fun of my height again, you won‘t get another kiss - have I made myself clear?“ Did he just chuckle? He sure did.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "I don't have to lie. Just say I was with someone, drank too much and overslept. All of which is true.", he smiled, just leaving out the important parts. If someone asked him with whom he spent his night, he'd just say he never asked her name and that was about it. If pointing at a random girl got Cameron off his case, he'd do it, after all some girl he already had spent a night with would run around somewhere and Cameron would not talk to her anyway, just maybe noting to himself, that he'd better not touch that particular lady. "You know... you wanted to kneel before me yesterday too.", he said with a smirk on his face, looking at Ronan that was so easily angered. Could he actually stand having Caelan around in his little hutch? "Calm down, I'm just teasing you.", he smiled in case Ronan didn't understand that, he didn't want to get rid of him after all.

      Caelan watched Ronan fight himself back into his boots, asking himself why he wore something complicated like that, but didn't say it out loud. He himself was already finished, waiting for Ronan to finally dress up too. "I'll camp right in front of your door then.", Caelan smiled, he certainly would if he wasn't let back in. Maybe he'd bring Ronan a deer as a peace offering... he was a puppy, wasn't he? "I'll find you here as soon as I'm finished meeting up with my father and my friends. Maybe my father drags me along with him to meet some people too, so don't worry if I come late, I won't forget about you. Eat without me if you're hungry though...", he smiled, receiving a kiss finally and his stomach started to tingle again. He didn't let go Ronan just like that, grabbed him by his hip and placed his other hand on Ronans chin. "You only make it harder for me to leave...", he said, his voice low and he stole himself another kiss, oh how he wanted to just huddle up in hear together with Ronan instead of doing anything else. "Very clear... you're perfect just the way you are.", he continued, then slowly let go of Ronan, though he didn't want to. Why was it so difficult to just go? usually he'd be out as soon as he woke up. "So, how are we going to do this? Leave apart of eachother? Shall I go first?"
    • „And you‘re just gonna gloss over the part that you slept with a man. I mean, that‘s not a lie, you‘re right“, Ronan whispered, just to make sure nobody would hear them - or suspect a thing because they were passing by this room and hear this commotion. What it‘d be like if someone found out? They‘d probably not even have time to explain - their death was certain and that was something that Ronan was scared of, maybe also a reason why he had never kissed anyone up until now and why it wasn‘t something surprising to him, that Caelan wanted their secret to be somewhat well kept. „And you wanted me to suck you off, so we‘re both at fault and I‘ll get on my knees when I want to, not because you want me to - I‘m not to be commanded, Caelan“, the black haired youth huffed again and was almost certain that - among mainly muddled up conversations - he had urged Caelan to use him like a toy, the thought alone sufficed to let the blood rush back to his cheeks and have a faint, pink tint. Why now? „I know you are but you‘re so damn mean, too. I‘m insecure, alright?“ When would he know peace?

      Normally he wouldn‘t wear those boots, but this was a formal event and they were good for riding, as well as dragging his unwilling body somewhere. Maybe he should dare to get new ones, something that actually and particularly would help making him taller, but not only that, it‘d suffice to actually not have him tiptoe and give him some sort of peace, that he had yet to find. Why was everyone so keen on teasing him anyway? Because he was so easy to anger and even easier to get mad? „Do that, then. Maybe I‘ll let you back inside if I feel like it, we‘ll see about that, though“, Ronan sighed and was very much prepared to let the blonde back inside after an hour or two, because he didn‘t want him to freeze or even feel like he was unwanted. Once they‘d arrive at the hutch, he‘d have to get rid of a considerable amount of dust, probably. „I can wait and also, I too have a few people to talk to, I sadly won‘t be back as fast as you‘d like me to be, but if you‘re patient, I‘ll reward you.“ And then? What‘d he reward Caelan with? Getting back on his knees and just doing what the blonde wanted? No, that‘d just give him more reasons to tease him. Caelans touch still burned through his clothes and Ronan hated it, hated that his body reacted to it and did the blondes bidding, moved as he wanted and even anticipated being kissed back - why was he yearning for this so much? „And you make it hard for me to stay composed“, Ronan sighed, already in a better mood than before and definitely not charmed by Caelan yet again, except, who was he even trying to lie to? „Urgh, that‘s too sweet. Spare me the sugarcoated words for when I‘m drunk, please Caelan“, Ronan almost begged, before eyeing the door, hearing Caelans words. „Can we stay here instead?“
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "You're not to be commanded? Except when I use my wish to tell you to, though... I think I'd get you want on your knees if I really tried...", he said with a sly grin and he meant it. The right words, the right touch here and there on Ronans body, maybe he couldn't remember all of last night, but he'd find the spots on Ronans body again, that made him shiver and long for more and if he had to do something for Caelan to get what it was he wanted, then he'd do it... probably. This was fun, Caelan had fun with Ronan, he just needed to be careful not to anger Ronan for real. "I'm sorry Ronan, I'll try to be nicer, okay?", he said and as an apology Ronan received another kiss and a slight brush over his cheek with Caelans fingers. When he moved back again he looked at him chuckling. "Your cheeks are getting red, what are you thinking about?"

      Now he cuddled up against Ronan again, still smiling, he didn't want to go and he sure as hell didn't want to be kicked out of Ronans little hutch. "I'll try to be good, I promise. I'll fulfill you every wish, get you a warm and tasty dinner without having to move a finger for it yourself and at night, I'll keep you warm, just like two days ago.", he said proudly, his voice changing almost to a whimpering soon after. "Everything to not be kicked out by you." He was playing yes, he had fun, also true, but he meant all that and while he was surprised himself as to how he acted, he knew he was just being himself and did what felt right in the moment. "A reward? I can't wait!", he grinned all happy, even happier when Ronan said he had a hard time too. Was this how it felt falling in love? His heart pumping faster than usual, the butterflies in his stomach not wanting to leave and he didn't want to be a second without Ronan. "You're easier to deal with when you're drunk!", he chuckled, "But I meant it, I think you're beautiful." Was Ronan playing hard to get again, or was he really not up to hear any charming words or compliments? It was very hard to tell, after all they didn't know each other very well. "Don't ask something like that, or I might actually not go and annoy you the rest of the evening... you want that?"
    • „I‘m not and trust me, I have enough endurance to not fall onto my knees like a damsel just because you want me to - I may be yours, but not yours to command“, he hissed, knowing well enough that their non-existent match had ended in a draw and they both were at the mercy of one another. This was, in fact, just a dog barking but with no signs of eventually biting his owner - no matter how much he‘d try, he‘d be unable to truly hurt him. „I hope you do or I‘ll have to force some manners into that body of yours, one way or another.“ However, just stabbing Caelan with a fork seemed contra-productive, if anything. What, it not a mess, would this be anyway? They‘d sit here again and giggle about something stupid and that‘d be it eventually, even if that meant that they‘d have to take care of some stuff first. „I ... argh, do you I really have to tell you?“ The only apparent answer was that yes, yes he‘d have to tell the blonde eventually and if the had to, he‘d lose his mind eventually and then come clean with himself that he was at fault for doing this, that this had happened because he was stupid enough to let it happen.

      Caelans warm embrace felt good, enjoyable almost and the reason why he got up in the first place had been lost by now. Why did they even force themselves up if they didn‘t want to and more importantly, why had they dressed up if all they wanted was to enjoy themselves a little while longer? „Now that sounds like a proposal. We‘ll see if you can live up to it, though!“ Ronan wasn‘t any better, he was as much of a tease as Caelan was, but truth be told, he didn‘t think he was capable of making jokes that insulted the puppy to some degree and instead, he let his hands wander over Caelans back while he was held. „Hmm, you could use a reward, after all, you were a good puppy up until now, weren‘t you?“, he giggled, but he was also painfully aware that he - in fact - had nowhere to go anyway and while Henry wasn‘t here, there wasn‘t anybody but Caelan to entertain him. Did he have some rope in his hutch? Probably, but it wasn‘t a particularly nice and smooth one - maybe it‘d suffice to keep the puppy down, though. „When I‘m drunk I‘m not only easier to deal with, I‘m also nicer to myself, so yeah, it might be that. But ... thank you for appreciating me, though, I wouldn‘t call myself beautiful or worth looking at“ and while there were butterflies in his stomach as well, this was nothing more than a simple crush that he had on a lost noble that, maybe - just maybe, wasn‘t sure what he wanted. Ronan shook his head, not wanting to succumb to these thoughts again and thus took a step away from Caelan, slowly wresting himself free of the embrace. „Look, I‘d love to but we should not linger here - we‘ll just have more stupid ideas and I could die for some food anyway, so, lets do something that needs to be done and then come back here. I‘d love to ... you know?“ And thus he pressed his hands against Caelans warm chest and onto the shirt, before he unbuttoned one of the buttons. „Don‘t you dare come back in that hideous thing, you hear me?“
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "We'll see about that...", Caelan giggled, he really wanted to try and tease him as much as he could, until Ronan would do anything for him and then... he'd probably ask for nothing. It was the game that was fun, not the outcome and after all, Ronan shouldn't do anything he didn't want himself. Trying to be strong was nice, but Ronan had yet to learn that he could always count on Caelan catching him if he struggled, helping him back up, that also meant he'd never hurt him. What was it Caelan found so attractive on him anyway? He was beautiful, Caelan didn't lie about that, but that aside, Ronan seemed almost broken, fragile and easy to break, while or because he endured so much until now. Caelan admired him for that and in a way Ronan of Alster was more true to himself than Caelan had ever been. It was enough with living a life of renounce, Ronan should get what he wanted from now on and if Caelans memory didn't fail him, one of which had been Caelan for a while. "I'd love to see you try...", Caelan murmured still caught up in his thoughts and looking at Ronan as if he was something special, he was in fact to Caelan. "It's alright...", he smiled, no Ronan didn't have to be teased any longer, all he received was Caelan hand on his cheek for a second.

      "I won't disappoint you, I promise!", Caelan grinned and enjoyed Ronans touch very much. "At some point I won't do anything without a reward in sight anymore, don't spoil me!", Caelan giggled as well, yet he somehow enjoyed being treated like that. He wasn't entirely sure who the dominant one of both of them was, while Caelan kept teasing Ronan, and could easily hold him in place, Ronan was the one only having to use some simple words to make Caelan do his bidding. Both of them were probably and Caelan at least enjoyed both roles. "Well I think a wish just came to my mind... I'll use it soon enough...", he purred, looking at Ronans body which had nothing to be ashamed of. "You know, I'm not saying all that, because I want to charm you, I already had you in my bed, so there is no need for that. Just keep that in mind.", he grinned, his compliment turned into a tease halfway through and yet this was exactly how Caelan of Fhaergus always had been - a charmer and a tease. Ronans touch made it even harder for him to leave, but he pushed Ronan gently away after all, but left his shirt as it was. "Alright... I'll go now. I'll meet you hear later.", he said, Ronan got one last and very short kiss, then Caelan turned to the door, peeked outside and left for his own room to get a fresh set of clothes.
    • "Is that supposed to be a dare?", the noble retaliated. Ronan knew well enough that he was probably being played like a fiddle right now, that Caelan barely had any interest in actually make him wince and whine, or force him onto his knees - or did he? Whatever it was, the reality of it would be, that he still was unsure what he wanted and that everything he tried to get his hands on was very much, well, not what he was expecting. Among other things, he was sure that - if he would not prefer to be by his lonesome - he'd actually have time to waste with someone that would learn to appreciate him, whether they wanted to or not didn't matter. Caelan, on the other hand, had already become someone that Ronan only could set his eyes upon and wonder what it was that let him seem so attractive and why his gaze was particularly glued onto him, marbling at his body - draped in fabric or not - whenever he got the chance to. It felt hopeless to have a crush on Caelan of Fhaergus and yet he did, his feelings had betrayed him and he felt that now. "I won't go easy on you then", and Caelan didn't even know him. Yes, Ronan was someone who'd give up easily and thought that being faithless was the only way to go, but in reality, he also wasn't all that bad at ruining someones day, or make him do their bidding. "Mhm", he murmured, leaned back into the faint touch on his cheek and then, well ... that was about it.

      "Then don't disappoint me in that regard, either, or I'll have to cut short on that rewards of yours and I'm sure you don't want that, do you now?", Ronan teased him now, tried his best to turn the tides for himself and yet, his face had returned to being unmoving and the expressions he made were as stern as ever. The alcohol had left his system and as much as he cherished Caelan, he was still quite a mess on the inside - and his mood wasn't the best, it never was, but sometimes it lightened up for just a minute or two, or because there was someone like Caelan of Fhaergus to entertain him, but right now, was there even anything entertaining that they couldt talk about? "Did I give you ideas? How bothersome", he complained, before his own gaze followed that of Caelan that - surprisingly enough - was eyeing that wretched body of his, that could barely do anything right, though, Ronan could still force it to comply. "And what if I say that I like being charmed by the likes of you? I know your comments are genuine, as well as I know that you wouldn't dare hurt me, but ... this is a bit much, especially all at once. I've never been loved all that much, I've never loved someone - I'm new to this, give me time", he sighed. And thus, it was time to go seperate ways and try to pretend that they hadn't slept together with one another yesterday, that they hadn't committed a crime against god and his ways - but why did he care? "Take care, Caelan." And thus, the blonde was gone and he scoured the room for something to write - he couldn't leave his father in the dark about his seclusion, even if he wanted nothing more than that.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Caelan was the one struggling as soon as he left Ronans room and the further he went, the more difficult it seemed to get. It wasn't about their night spent together, or his own feelings, but about Ronan who was so different than anyone Caelan knew. All his friends were rather carefree, maybe not all that stupid and rash, but they relaxed a lot and gave a damn about what others thought of them, especially Cameron. Ronan was the opposite, he worried too much and he probably already wondered why Caelan treated him like he did, taking his words to serious and being scared Caelan could leave again. He didn't want that, he didn't want Ronan to feel that way and be scared Caelan changed his mind, because he wouldn't. Maybe he already had teased him too much, pointed at spots which already were weak, letting his shell crumble and let all of Caelan words get to him. He probably needed to be more careful with what he said, it was strange, because he never cared about that.

      He was too pushy and clingy, wasn't he? He never felt this way before, never wanted to stay at someones side but now he did and apparently with Caelan it was all or nothing, no in between. He however knew that he could be a handful, that he always was giving something extra in anything he did and Ronan was maybe scared and confused, or thinking Caelan just played with him, which he didn't. Caelan was the one now feeling insecure and scared about loosing what he had gained so suddenly and unexpected. Time was what Ronan asked for, so... maybe the hutch wasn't a good idea, maybe all of this went way to quick, but nevertheless Caelan would tell his father, after all he could also go to Stenz instead or just bid his time somewhere alone, if Ronan changed his mind. Maybe he was the one overthinking now though... and it was exhausting.

      Caelan went to his room, got a fresh set of clothes and then washed away the sweat and other body fluids from yesterday, taking a little more time than he usually needed. With a shirt of his own and the hickeys visible on his neck, he went to find his father. He did, pretty fast at that, Allard was talking to some people, laughing and drinking a glass of wine, while Caelans mother had sat down with some friends of her to talk. Allard saw Caelan walk towards him, smiled, though it wasn't real - Caelan knew as much - and grabbed his son on the shoulder to pull him towards him, introducing him to some Lord. Caelan as always smiled as well, was polite and soon enough he found himself in a discussion about the Fhaergus mines and their efficiency. It took his stomach to growl to let him be free of this, the Lord leaving, while his father turned towards Caelan, the smile still present, because after all he could have been seen. "What is it son?", he asked, fumbling around Caelans shirt as if he hadn't stop caring already. "I just wanted to tell you, that I'll come back to Fhaergus maybe a week or two later." "Oh? Why's that?", his father asked still smiling, anyone seeing them or even hearing them in public must have thought they were a perfect, open and loving family. Caelan hated it, but these events gave him the chance of asking almost anything as long as they were in public. "Just visiting a friend." "Cameron?" "Maybe, don't know yet." His father looked at him, thinking obviously but he didn't need his son back in Fhaergus anyway. "Alright. So... a lot of people haven't seen you yet. Come with me." And with that Caelan let himself be dragged around, he even got a plate with some food on it, so his stomach wouldn't make any unwanted noise. It felt like hours when he finally got away. He ate already now, though he wanted to have dinner with Ronan, feeling bad about it he still got another plate, then he was going to act he ate. He also took dessert with him, not as much as the day before though and with all of that he went back to Ronans room.

      Or so he thought, he had to run into Cameron, didn't he? He asked him what had been going on, where he was, though judging by how Caelan looked, he already knew as much and asked so many questions, throwing with assumpetions, that Caelan had nothing more to do than agree, bring some stupid jokes which had been fake all along and finally admitted, that he had someone waiting for him again. The question if it was the same girl was answered with a yes and Cameron grinned, because it never happened before. He let Caelan go to his beloved 'or whatever' and probably went to find Orlando and Ethan. The tournament had helped himself win another girl alongside the trophy. Now finally, after he didn't know how much time, he was standing in front of Ronans door, knocking with his boot, because he had the plates in his hand, the food was probably cold by now and Cameron hat snatched some of it too. He was tired although he had slept the whole damn day.
    • Writing a letter to someone like Darragh was all stiff and as formal as he could get - and yet, he sat there, in fresh clothes and still soaked in yesterdays sweat, having pushed the plates and the half-eaten dessert from yesterday night aside and he wrote, crumbled the paper up and went for another one, and another one. He thought he was going to go insane if this went on, that he was losing his marbles if he couldn't find a good way to package all of this and how he'd escape his fathers punishment for even considering to go into seclusion now - but Ronan didn't care, not when his body was this tense and his breath this ragged - and his mind drifted back, to yesterday night, to what had happened between him and Caelan and as if - out of sheer embarassment - he recalled, that he'd moaned his name more than just once, he dragged the feather down again and left and ugly ink splotch on the paper, before he crumbled that one, too. No matter how much he tried to concentrate, none of it would work, he was dragged back to all those things he'd felt yesterday and his churning stomach wasn't making it better, exactly like the sweat that already felt like it was coming down his forehead again - and thus, he got up. The letter was left unattended as he went for a bath, decided to force himself out of his clothing yet again, and washed everything away. Caelan told him that this body of his was beautiful, that he had meant it - and then, there he was, letting water rinse down his body and wondering what exactly it was, that one could find beautiful and why, of all people, someone like Caelan thought just that. Ronan had no self-esteem, didn't think of himself as worthy and yet he somehow seemed to be, even if that body of his wasn't as useful as it should be.

      Once he had forced himself back out of the shower, had dried himself off and forced himself back into all of his clothing, he sat down at the table again and wrote, kept it simple this time - now that he was able to, anyway. Whatever it was that his father wanted to hear, it actually didn't matter - he'd be blunt and honest, truthful enough for even Darragh to understand and if the old man wanted to punish him for his sins, so be it - he wasn't getting much more than basic info anyway. This felt like it had taken up the rest of the evening, but in reality it had - maybe - been an hour, which was why he actually sealed it tight in an envelope, put one of the sigils on it that he could find while rummaging and then, draping his coat over his shoulders again, left his room, walked downstairs and found someone to unhand the letter to, someone that'd actually deliver it in the next few days. After all of that was done, Ronan went back inside, sought out those he had agreed to meet today and have a conversation of his own with - that he could actually use some food right now was apparent and the Lady he was talking to actually caught on pretty quick, shoving him a small platter of biscuits, from which he took a few. She - and her colleagues - were talking about old tales and about how Darragh of Alster used to be such a dashing young man, that they both had their sour stare in common and they asked - once or twice - how the good old Darragh was, to which Ronan couldn't say much. This conversation, which had devolved from talking about Alster as a whole and if his mother was looking to sell some land to a few of the Ladies' relatives, had divolved rather soon - and Ronan used it to excuse himself from the table for the night. Making his way back to his room, he found Caelan standing there and ... kicking the door of all things. "Let me help you", he sighed, pushing the door open and taking one of the plates out of the blondes hand. "Hush", he murmured, as he gave Caelan a little push to go inside and eventually closed the door behind them. "Took us both long enough."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Caelan looked up when Ronan wasn't opening the door, but coming from behind to open it. He pushed Caelan inside before he could even say hello and even took one plate out of his hands... of course the one with the sweets. The door was closed and there they were alone again. "I brought food, where's yours?", Caelan asked, putting the plate still in his hand on the table somewhere. Now what was he going to do or say? Caelan wasn't sure if he could just ask for what he wanted, let alone take it just like that and the feelings from before had made room for something awkward, because he still thought about Ronans words just a few hours ago. To break the ice so to speak however, he just asked: "What have you done until now? I already felt bad for being this late... my father dragged me around for quite some time, but I told him I won't be home for another week or two."

      Because he didn't know what else to do, he sat down by the table, though he wasn't hungry anyway and rather shoved the plate to the still free seat across of him. "I'm actually not hungry, sorry. My father kind of forced me to eat already, after my stomach disrupted the conversation.", he said with a say, looking more than guilty. After all he promised they'd eat together and probably both of them were looking forward to it. He already felt Ronan was unhappy, not pleased by his words and unsure what was going on between them and now he ruined their so to speak date, he was really really sorry and he didn't hide any of it. He also was tired for some reason, playing the happy and loving family exhausted him everytime and usually he met his friends right after, or got a bottle of alcohol... or both. Today however he didn't want to drink, he had enough yesterday and he rather spent time with Ronan being by his senses, though he already ruined it as it seemed.
    • "I ... forgot about that completely", he sighed, but they already had closed the door and Ronan was peeling the hairtie out of his hair before he even sat down. His foul mood wasn't because Caelan had taken forever, but because he himself had taken way too long to get anywhere and then, those conversations weren't even all that meaningful because the only thing that mattered was gossip about Darragh, at least it seemed that way. Ronan also sat down the plate with the sweets, simply because he wouldn't indulge in those just yet and in all honesty, he didn't even know if he could stand some more after those biscuits. "Heard someone gushing about my father and trying to get me to open my fucking mouth about it. It was unpleasant, to say the least. I managed to get the letter done and had someone send it off, so we should be fine if we want to go to the hutch in the next few days", but maybe they shouldn't, he thought - maybe they should just avoid one another like the plague for a while and see if their feelings were genuine or if they dissipated faster than they anticipated.

      Ronan, not convinced by himself, didn't sit down and instead stood there, arms crossed, gaze fixated on Caelan - he looked exhausted and as if he was actually sorry - and he could do nothing more than sigh. "Caelan, it's fine. You couldn't help it, we'll have plenty of opportunities to share a meal", well, that meant he'd have to eat everything by himself and something told him that - if he ate more than a moderate amount - he'd probably kill himself one way or another, simply by staring at the food for a little while longer. Instead, he came closer, unfolded his arms and put one of his hands on Caelans thigh. "Well, at least you aren't wearing Camerons hideous shirt anymore, that's a plus", and as his other hand slowly traced over it, it actually felt nice - even though he'd prefer Caelan without a shirt to begin with. "You look like you're kind of unhappy. Did I scare you?", he wanted to know, almost immediately and instead - to take care of this mess he'd made, pressed a soft kiss to Caelans lips, letting his hand move over his thigh. "But it's good to have you back, I was so lonely", god, what was he talking about? He wasn't lonely, just pissed off, but his mouth had more to say in that one than his head, as it seemed.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "Ah, don't worry then!", Caelan said, at least he didn't feel as bad now that he already ate. The first thing Ronan did was untying his hair and Caelan watched him from the corner of his eye, simply because all of a sudden he felt bad staring at him. That Ronans father seemed to be the topic all the time with everyone, was probably not improving Ronans mood, but the trip to Ronans hutch was all ready, if they still wanted to. "You know, if you changed your mind about that hutch, about a week with me, then that's fine.", Caelan started, presenting Ronan bluntly with a way out, after all he didn't want to scare him away, or make him feel uncomfortable. Whatever they said yesterday was pretty much meaningless anyway and this morning they still were sleepy, so was it their actual thoughts, or just some effect of the alcohol and tiredness? "If you want me there now, but decide otherwise later, I can leave any time too."

      Caelan looked at Ronan as he came closer and was trying to comfort him, though he didn't ask him to and if anything he wanted Ronan to feel better and not himself, yet he was happy about the treatment he got. A faint smile did crawl on his lips after all, Ronan making a joke about Camerons shirt amused him and he let out somewhat of a small puff. Yes this was a shirt of his own and it seemed to match Ronans taste at least. Being touched although only slightly felt nice and he couldn't have been that wrong if Ronan did that, right? "I'm... not, I just thought about what you said before I left, you needing time...", Caelan sighed, but still smiled a little, Ronan did nothing wrong and if he wanted time, then he should have it. "I should be the one asking if I scared you, I'm... I'm always all or nothing, running in open doors, rushing ahead... I'm sorry if I'm too much for you right now.", he said accompanied by a bitter smile, he knew himself, though his feelings for Ronan were new. Still, he could be a force one had to learn deal with at first. But the kiss he received made all his thoughts seem stupid to begin with, the tingling in his stomach was back, even more now and the hand on his thigh made him feel warm. He smiled at Ronan, he knew he missed him though they were only apart for a few hours and yet it felt even more present now, now that he was back with him. "I'm glad, you're glad to see me... I thought maybe you have enough already...", he whispered softly and honest, not in the slightest trying to charme Ronan this time.

      Dieser Beitrag wurde bereits 2 mal editiert, zuletzt von Earinor ()

    • "Are you sure? I don't want to steal your dinner, you know ... I can always go and get something, or at least share it with you." Ronan was somewhat certain that his body was urging him to finally buy into his desires and actually eat something that filled him up, not something that - for conveniences sake -, was made to taste pleasant. After this, however, what would they do? Was the late night hike still a thing or would they both do better to lay back down and succumb to their tired bodies? Eventually, they'd also need to pack u- ... what? "I haven't. If you do, please tell me, but I'm still very much fine with the idea of dragging you back to Alster and having fun with you", Ronan chuckled, somewhat excitedly. Not, because that meant they could get as intimate as they wanted, but also because they would actually be bound to have some fun together, however little it may be. But if Caelan didn't want to, then Ronan wouldn't force him to do something - the hutch was small enough so that a single person wouldn't feel lonely in it, so he could just decided to settle with the bitter aftertaste of gall in his throat and that was about it. Ronan wouldn't die, just because he was denied something. "Once you set foot in the hutch, I'm not letting you go that easily, so stop worrying your pretty little head!"

      Now he was the one that was up to make stupid jokes, that wanted to make Caelan smile and he actually managed to get him to - he didn't do a horrible job, which - in theory - was somewhat weird to him, but who was he to deny himself pride and the blonde a little laughter? "I do need time, but I don't mean apart from you, at least necessarily. I'm just not used to being complimented and cherished for who I am ... if I worded this better you wouldn't be worrying about something so stupid, sorry." Nothing in life was free, let alone something in life being easy to understand. Ronan knew, as good as anyone else, that sometimes, fate purely eisted to fuck someone over and then not pay the victim back when the time came - he didn't want to be one of them anytime soon. "I'll get used to it, if you give me some time. I'll try not to get as mad at you over trivial things, okay?", he said and pecked Caelan on the lips once more, before he stroke over his thigh again and had a stupid idea that he couldn't wait for. Brushing over his fellow nobles thighs, Ronan eventually sat himself down on Caelans lap - sideways, so that he could still stare at him and hold him - and giggled. "It seems unlikely that I'll get tired of you anytime soon, so consider yourself my captive", he purred, just a his almost fragile fingers made some of Caelans buttons come undone. "So, what now?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "I'm sure, my father forced me to eat a whole dinner already, just so I don't disturb him in any way.", Caelan smiled, he was pretty full, maybe he could eat another cookie or so, but it wasn't necessary. He didn't need any more dinner though, so Ronan wouldn't eat anything away. Caelan smiled when Ronan told him, that he didn't change his mind, so he was worrying over nothing eventually. "I haven't either. I want to spend time with you alone, figure things out and have fun.", he said, he really mean it. They'd have time to actually get to know each other a little better, though Caelan felt like he knew Ronan for a long time already, yet they only met two days ago. All of this was probably new to both of them, so they also could use the time to figure things out, see what both of them really wanted... Caelan had slipped before, called them a couple, but maybe it was way too soon for that and maybe it was nothing more than a short affair. "I'll take your word for it.", he hummed, reaching out for Ronans cheek to softly caress it for a moment.

      "You don't need to apologize...", Caelan said with a smile, again softly stroking over Ronans cheek. "I'll try to hold back with my compliments. We'll have time in your hutch to figure us out, I'll learn what you want and what not.", he assured Ronan and he really wanted to do all that. Despite the fact that he still felt Ronan was stunning, he could hold back with telling him all the time, maybe only appreciating little things every now and then. Still, a touch of his was enough to make Caelan happy and to make his skin tingle. The small kiss made his cheeks warmen up and his heart felt like a weight dropped from it. At last Ronan sat himself on Caelans lap and he wrapped one arm around him. "I'll do that...", he murmured, leaning forward to kiss Ronans neck. Being his captive sounded quite enjoyable, it really did and in a way he actually was, bidding Ronans every wish already, if he just asked. "You're better in opening up buttons when you're sober...", Caelan chuckled, faintly remembering Ronan struggle the day before. Now however he reached for a fork, skewered a potato and presented it to his fellow noble. "Now you'll eat. But you can keep sitting here, if you want..."
    • "I mean, we both haven't eaten in a while, were pretty drunk last night and slept more than half of the day away - I'd be pissed off by my stomach growling too", Ronan laughed as his gaze fell back upon the plates that Caelan had dragged in. The food probably wasn't warm anymore, but that didn't mean it had to be stone cold - and if it was, who cared? He was starving, to put it into simpler words. "That sounds good to me", the Alster sprout remarked, as if he didn't already have second thoughts about it. Maybe this was a mistake and yes, maybe they were just head over heels for one another because they seemed to understand each other and be able to tell one another what they felt without having to worry about it being told to someone, but ... was it more than that? The butterflies in his stomach felt real and so did his heart that started beating even faster once he had gotten all up close to Caelan again. If they spent time together now, cause they already couldn't stand to be apart from one another, how would they deal with all of this when they had to be apart? When Fhaergus was cut off from the rest of Adrestia? Ronan couldn't spent all these winters in a different country and eventually, they'd have to get married anyway. This was nothing more than harmless and thoughtless fun, shouldn't it be? "I'll tie you to the bed if I must." And that was, in fact, a promise.

      "I still feel like I should make myself clear and not give you second thoughts, of all people", the noble said as he - again - felt need to lean back into the soft touch of Caelan that felt like it would be able to burn him to crisp if it lingered to long. Why was it so late again anyway? And why was he sitting on another mans lap of all places? "And I'll learn how to tease you - sounds good?", he joked, but instead pressed another kiss to Caelans cheek, not wanting to actually get up and eat his food - even if his stomach was rumbling already and Ronan knew, well enough, that a few biscuits weren't all that filling. Right here, right now, the rest of the world didn't need to exist - he didn't need to be a noble, a heir to an entire dukedom - he could just be Ronan and that was alright, as long as Caelan was just Caelan, too. "Really now?", Ronan chuckled upon hearing the blondes words - who wanted to be the captive of someone like him? Well, maybe someone as strange as him. "Now you're acting more like my servant than my captive, but who am I to complain?", he said, before he actually - instead of taking the fork - bit the potato slice off of it. "I mean, you are pretty comfortable ..."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "You know... I think I had an eye out for you, the moment we met in those woods, though I didn't notice myself. The frown didn't even bother me that much obviously.", Caelan smiled, his voice soft, again he felt like a loud word could bring all this to an end, as if they were in a dream and could wake up anytime and Caelan didn't want to wake up. He probably needed to stop looking at Ronan as he did, especially as training for when they met around people, he couldn't look at him with big longing eyes and obviously in love. So he looked away and leaned his head on Ronans body for a moment, feeling his warmth and hearing his heartbeat. Then he chuckled, lifted his head back up and looked into Ronans eyes kind of puzzled. "When I'm tied up to the bed, how am I gonna cook for you?", he asked with a slight laugh. Should they get anything before traveling to the hutch? Or would they live from what Caelan brought home, if he managed to leave Ronan alone for a while, though... he could take him with him too, if he wanted to hunt, or maybe search for something else that was edible. They could also get some traps if Ronan had none... maybe they were lucky catching a rabbit over the course of the day and at the evening Caelan could cook it. It almost sounded like a perfect live... Caelan wasn't even there yet and didn't want to leave anyway.

      "It's alright. Just promise me to tell if anything is bothering you and I'll promise to ask if I'm not quite sure what you meant.", he said smiling, placing another kiss on Ronans neck. His arm still wrapped around Ronans hip tightened his grip for a short second, pressing his tender body onto his own. Again a chuckling left his throat and he looked up to Ronan who despite his size was now taller than Caelan, as long as he sat on his lap like that. "Sure, that's not even that hard I guess, not for you, you'll figure it out soon enough." Caelan couldn't really say how he was best teased, because he never felt interested in the person he spent those moment with, except for Ronan. He'd also lie if he said that yesterday didn't rob him of his senses already, though maybe the alcohol played it's part too. "Sure! Tie me up and hold me close in that hutch of yours, maybe you'll never let me go back to Fhaergus.", Caelan joked and he wouldn't have anything against it to be honest. His home has never been a place he liked to return to anyway. He watched Ronan picking the potato off the fork and eating it. "Am I to feed you now?", Caelan asked laughing, but he still skewered some vegetables and another potato on the fork and held it up for Ronan again. The only problem was, he had no second hand to actually cut the meat. "Maybe I should think about a carreer as a chair instead of being a duke."
    • "And I had a crush on you since ages, but I never would have dared to actually approach you ... unlike two days ago", he sighed. Actually, he probably wouldn't even have bothered to approach Caelan if he was unsure whether they'd been alone. And two days ago, they both could have used a companion for the night and so, without even wanting to admit how lonely he was, Ronan approached the fellow noble - with hostile and stern behaviour, just like he always did. Everyone could hurt him and the world itself was a horrible place, but then again, if he continued to think just that, what would he gain? "I can cook, you just do the hunting and better don't run off, or I'll come chasing after you, you know?", the black haired youth chuckled, after all, he wasn't being all that earnest. Yes, once Caelan would set foot in the hutch, he wouldn't let him run off that easily, but whenever he felt like leaving, he'd be more than welcome to - even if it'd sting. "But don't worry, I'll see to it that you get enough sunlight and fresh air. Though, maybe a puppy would do good to wear a leash, what do you think?" Again, this was nothing more than a joke - just thinking about it, Caelan being dragged outside on a leash, let him chuckle yet again. It was ridiculous at best.

      "That's another deal then." Both of them needed time to get accustomed to one another, no? Especially since Ronan had no idea about romance in general - except for a few shitty books - and Caelan was the one that must have felt quite confused when he came clean to himself. The kiss, so soft and short, sent a shiver down his spine and he tensed up for a second. Was his neck ticklish? It seemed to be. "Mhm." Though, his position was actually favorable - right now, he was the one looking down at his fellow noble, instead of having to look up, having to tiptoe or pulling him down to get a single kiss. "And what are you gonna do? Just whine and moan about wanting to be let go off when I actually start teasing you? Can you even endure being tied up?" Not once did Ronan want to mention their duties as heirs, knowing well enough that their time spent together would be like a short spark of happiness in his otherwise dull life, that nothing of this should even be able to transpire was also painfully clear, but he didn't want to think about it, not here, not now and especially not for the rest of the day. "If you want to, I can feed myself - but you offered me the food, not the fork, you know", he chuckled, before biting the skewered vegetables off of it yet again. Should he just take the damned fork? "Hm, that'd be a waste of talent - being a chair, I mean. What about a career as my lover instead?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "Maybe you should have talked to me sooner.", Caelan said, slowly moving his hand wrapped around Ronan to stroke over his tender body in his arm and on his lap. "Or maybe two days ago was just the right time." Caelan didn't believe in fate, had Ronan approached him earlier, maybe the same thing had happened, but maybe it was as he said and there was no better time. If they met on an event like this, Caelan probably would not have spent as much time with Ronan, they wouldn't have talked about their problems and they hadn't bathed in a lake. "I can do that, though that means I won't be tied up then too... I'll hunt you whatever you want, even a mighty deer if you wish, though I don't think we could eat all of its meat on our own.", he smiled. If Ronan wanted something specific, Caelan would spend all day outside to find and kill whatever he wanted, though he rather spent time with Ronan in his little hutch, or outside stargazing. "What's the weather like in Alster now anyway?", he asked, it was still spring, so there might even be some snow left. "A leash? Do you want me to crawl on all fours as well? I won't run off, don't worry... and I always find the way back home." This time Ronan didn't receive a kiss on his neck, instead he was gifted a small and playful bite, because he was so cocky all of a sudden. Caelan liked it, but a little playful punishment was due anyway.

      "We love to make deals, don't we?", Caelan laughed and Ronan obviously noticed it too. Actually their whole friendship started probably with Caelan proposing a deal concerning the tournament they now missed anyway. After all those deals probably weren't necessary and as much as Caelan liked doing whatever Ronan wanted yesterday, as much Ronan seemed to like the idea to fool anyone on the next masquerade ball. Caelan already hated keeping his hands to himself when in public, so he looked forward to actually touch Ronan in front of other people. "I never was tied up, so I wouldn't know. Though I think not being able to touch you would pain me soon enough.", he answered in all honesty, looking at Ronan. "Why do you want that anyway?" Caelan chuckled again, only a little, all these ideas they seemed to have for when they finally were alone, without the possibility of someone hearing or running in on them. Again Ronan just took the food and not the fork and Caelan skewered some more pieces. "You know, I can't cut the meat right now though...", he said, only shortly trying to reach the table with his other hand, but it seemed impossible. Caelan already acted hurt, because his career as a chair was over before it started, but he couldn't even start for real, because Ronan made him grin from ear to ear. "Your lover? I like the sound of that, alright!" His hand, lying on Ronans hip, subtly slipped a little bit under Ronans shirt, touching his skin, but just taking the same position there without moving, while he apparently kept feeding his fellow noble.
    • "I'm still pretty shy, no matter how I act now, you know? I don't know everything about you and even two days ago you were pretty much a stranger to me." What else was he supposed to do? Ronan doubted that he'd have Caelan, of all people, if they weren't certain that they'd been completely alone and nobody was lurking in the shadows to listen to them. So, what was it that he had to do now, except hope that fate loved him and this wasn't just a random lucky streak. "We don't know, but what we know is that us meeting wasn't the worst idea that fate ever had", and there he was, yet again, believing in something that most likely didn't exist. There was no god and no stars that dictated how humans had to live their life, just idiots who took everything for granted and only ever asked for grace when they were faced with pain - and Ronan had enough of the so called pain. "Don't worry, we'll figure something out. And ... you really don't have to hunt a deer or something like a boar for me, I'll survive just fine", he answered, but couldn't necessarily imagine what they'd do. He usually went hunting, but ... either for birds like pheasants or he put up traps that rabbits eventually found their way into. "Hm, it's definitely colder than here and there's still a bunch of snow in the higher parts, but other than that I'd say it's probably how you'd imagine a summer in Fhaergus." After all, Fhaergus sounded like it was always frozen, down to the bone - wasn't it? "Hm, that's a nice proposal. Who knew that Caelan of Fhaergus wants to be treated like a pet?" But before he could even revel in this new realization, he yelped out in surprise and touched the spot where he felt Caelans teeth linger. "No fair."

      "Oh yes we do." Their whole relationship had come from one and Ronan would be lying if he didn't say that he did, in fact, anticipate the upcoming masquerade and the fact that he'd get to fool everyone around him - but he'd have to shut his mouth for that, which was just fine with him, he'd let Caelan do the talking and just enjoy being out in public with him as long as he could and as intimate as possible, no? "Then that's another thing we'll find out", the heir of Alster proposed, thinking about where he stored what in the hutch and if some things needed to be thrown out once they arrived. Aside from the bloodstained bedsheets, however, nothing came to mind that fast. "Asserting my dominance over you, or maybe I'm just curious and want to try some things out now that you're here and willing to lend me a hand ... or your body." Some books were, well, not for the public eye and if one would take a look at what his father had confiscated over the years from some earls and scholars as well as wolves, one could only marble at the forbidden knowledge that was stashed away in the Alster mansions library. Not, that the word forbidden stopped him, although sometimes he thought about how it'd be easier to just not touch any of those damn books. "Hmmm, do you want me to get off of you or lend you a hand? The choice is yours." Ronan couldn't imagine how stupid it'd look for them both to use one hand so he could eat, before he had bitten the vegetables off of the fork again and watched his fellow noble struggle to extend his second hand. "So do I. That's another deal then. You're my lover and I'm yours." Something in him felt warm, almost happy about the fact that he turned another supposed joke into an actual deal yet again. "Though, that reminds me", the hand under his shirt made him flinch for a second, but he soon came to enjoy the burning feeling on his own skin, eating bite after bite off of the fork, before he urged Caelan to put the vegetables away. "My, you're quite eager today too, aren't you?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.