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“War’s never fun, but I’m glad they found one another. It seems like they were close … I’d like to be close to you like that.”, he blurted out, knowing better, yet causing a ruckus on purpose. Nothing was earned, much like many things weren’t awarded. Yujin felt as if no matter how deep he fell, how far he sank and ultimately however far down it it was that he came to a halt, he finally understood that this wasn’t the lowest point of his life, it never had to be - Richard would pick him back up …

"Prisoner? What kind of romance novel did your fathers get out of?" Again with cracking lighthearted jokes that didn't seem to hit anywhere except a wall that he picked out himself. Richard was being a sweetheart, which Yujin enjoyed, even if he missed the anger and flame a little bit, he'd never confess to it, not when he could enjoy this all the same. "You know, maybe it's the other way around for us. I'm the curious one that wanted to talk to the stranger that wound up here. Fortunately, he w…

"I'll have to take your word for it." No wonder Richards father fell for that man then - were all the wolves that ever met a sheep interested in them solely because they were this curious and prone to probing? Yujin didn't want an answer for that, not at the moment when he was content indulging himself in what he already had. Falling for Richard was his own fault and the culprit, caught redhanded at the scene of the crime, was more than willing to indulge in his spoils for staying persistent. Wa…

Yujin took preciously few things at face value at times or misunderstood most of them on purpose - regardless of what happened, all he could do was hope for the best. Now that he had gotten over that awkward phase, he was finally free to see world with his own eyes, one that didn't necessarily love him as much as he loathed it, but even then, those things were mutually exclusive either way. "You're much better at making stories up than I am, I'll give you that.", he praised Richard, without havi…

"Perfect, more room for my own, then.", Yujin responded. He didn't have any that were big enough to cause trouble be complicated, much less did he understand why he should even harbor such sentiments even now, but he knew that bitter medicine was often one of the hardest pills to swallow for anyone - he had had plenty of his own, had he not? Right now, he was the one that was waiting for others to mess up to swoop in and go for the kill, only figuratively. "It's been a while since you sent those…

"And now that I am ... whatever is this is, I would very much like to beat both of them up. But we can't have that, not right now. Let's save the revenge fantasies for later.", Yujin tried to be calm about it, even when his blood boiled dangerously hot within his veins. There was no excuse for any of this, there never had been, but there always was something someone could come up with, wasn't there? Right now, he was the one that had to come up with a farce, good enough to mask all of this. "But…

Saying that he didn't know this was uncharacteristic for himself would be a flat out lie - he was more of an escapist, someone that distracted himself with all sorts of hijinks than he was someone that genuinely was interested in anything that had to do with confrontation. Yujin often blamed himself for things outside of his control that he couldn't possibly have forseen, but this time? He needn't take blame - he ought to take action. As he finally stood there, he knew well enough what it meant …

“It’s fine. It really is. At least there’s someone that believes in me, in a sea of people that either hate my guts or just don’t want me to make my own decisions. What a pain.”, Yujin ultimately lamented. He wasn’t some sort of dog that, at the mere sight of its owner, would ultimately keep wagging its tail for both attention and appreciation. Suddenly, he seemed past that phase, like the blink of an eye was enough to change a person and as weird as it felt, who knew if this wasn’t the version …

Everything hurt slightly less, which made it much more bearable and at the same time gave him a moment to think - he wanted this, right? Wanted to be with Richard, through sickness and health that would always loom over them like some third wheel they hadn't invited, yet it was running along with them, a hair's breadth away, not farther, not shorted, none of that. Was it fine to hate himself for his inability as they toiled about in the baths like this, someplace that was filled with laughter an…

"I'm ... hah ... aware. But that's in the past ...", he mumbled, eager to get this over and dealt with. Yujin didn't remember everything, he never would be capable of doing that and that was something he needed to make peace with, sooner or later, whenever he managed to find a moment for it. For now, there were more pressing matters to attend than his own feelings of betrayal, or the problems he had encountered with said memory and their inconsistency over the past few weeks. All that mattered n…

"I know. You never want me to.", he mumbled. Richard was too caring if anything. There was nothing he could feasibly do about it, telling him to stop wasn't an option simply because Yujin already knew that, regardless of it all, he was too kind, too much of a sweetheart, too loving for his own good - even when Yujin didn't deserve it, Richard still seemingly made a point to always accommodate him and figure out the best solution for both. Yujin, on the other hand, never put himself as part of th…

“And still, it led you back here. I know it wasn’t easy. I wish I could’ve been there for you, you know.”, he proceeded to tell Richard, almost as if it wasn’t his worst kept secret. Yujin hated it, hated knowing that nothing that he could have done would have helped, but what was more, he hated being abandoned, being left alone, being treated like that - like it was easy to just discard him, only to have regrets about it and crawl back when it was convenient. He longed to be as benevolent and b…

Wasn’t Richard right about that? Anger could move mountains in one direction but not the other - it couldn’t fix anything, not when it was done and over with what it tried to achieve. There were few things he could add to that and trying to deny it wasn’t his thing, Yujin knew it would only lead to some sort of ungovernable situation. Instead, he tried to play with Richards hair, soft, blonde strands of straw that was so different from his own. Wasn’t it funny? How different they were, while bei…

"It'll come back soon enough." Hunger always came back, be it with a vengeance or simple desire - it would seek Richard out, maybe even when he least expected it in the first place, but Yujin knew that it would look for him, then come back and bite him in the ass. Perhaps it was what either of them needed, or maybe it just went to show that he was healing after all. Yujin had his own form of healing, this one was showing as well, but he regretted it, not because or in spite of his body hurting, …

“If you want to that can be arranged.” Just like nothing had changed, that’s what they acted like. Yujin was tired of having this conversation in a language that was mostly spoken by those that seemingly hated him for no good reason, whereas the adrestian language seemed so much more welcoming to him. Maybe it was because of Richard, just him and nobody else, that he felt like that, but even if, he didn’t care much for it - he wanted this after all. Yujin still couldn’t smile, couldn’t force him…

"Oh ... Yes. Two birds. Nothing much. The kitchen has use of them, so all is well.", he responded, this time getting it into that narrow skull of his. Something was pulling and tearing and hurting someplace, maybe even screaming for attention but Yujin bunched it down, somewhere inbetween his other sorrows and the understanding that he misunderstood everything if he wanted to, yet had a functional brain that could, if it wanted to, it could claw itself out of that mess by itself. What even was w…

Regardless of what would happen to him, he wanted Richard to be save, which meant he couldn't stay in this castle he refused to leave. Deep down he wanted to run away, be selfish, be the reason they left in the first place, wanted to see a world that had shut him out, from beyond a silessian border, but he knew as well as anyone that wishful thinking had never gotten anyone far in life. Actions mattered, many of them and running away from his responsibilities was worse than inaction, akin to tre…

A moments notice of peace was all Yujin could ask for, just a tidbit, a chance to be for himself and not freeze or be in pain. Something was terribly wrong with him, he'd figured that out a while ago when everything started hurting, yet he rather took the pain than another one of those pills or some powder that was handed to him. In fact, he'd fed all of it to the next fireplace, to the plants, to anything he could find, even the snow, just to avoid taking it and not arousing any sort of questio…

Idling by wouldn't help him - he really didn't want to, actually. Today was another day that was much of the same - waking up, training, washing up, eating and then trying to figure out what to do with his anger before the next meal, or anything that was useful to him. Taking one walk of the other didn't help, but Yujin had had enough of that, wanted to prove himself to someone, if only himself, knew he was strong enough to protect ... what, exactly? His own dignity had been shattered and his pa…

"That's what you think. Just because it's different wherever you came from doesn't mean it's the same here - if you wholeheartedly believe that it is, that it's this easy for everyone to always cut their ties, it's naive and idiotic at the same time. I guess that's why you're a good fit for him.", he huffed. Richard started pissing him off - his entire attitude did. What a leech he was, and yet, Quan wasn't any better - the two of them fit with one another, as they did with the men they picked a…