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Again, he seemingly had deserved this, and yet, he was also sure that it mattered about as much as an invitation to his own burial would - Louis and him were arguing about shematics, about the fine details in life and about something that Josiah had just been too dumb to get on his own. No matter what, sometimes people needed to spell things out for him, and this time, it would have helped if Louis did, but instead, he'd done the exact opposite. "I believe you. I have no reason not to.", he repl…

"That's not it, I never said that either. Look, I care for you, and I just want you to know that ... but even that aside, I just want to make sure you're comfortable. We are friends, we've been friends since I can think and we haven't seriously spoken to each other in what feels like forever - I just want to make sure you're fine.", Josiah stated, and he wasn't sure if Louis was being upfront with him. One could and would lie to get out of situations he did not want to be in, something that seem…

"Good." Alright. Alright, that was fine, better even - why should someone like Louis need to care? It was his body, his scars, his story; the less it bothered him, the better it was. Still, Josiah felt like he failed, bore not enough scars of his own to warrant this incident ever happening, and yet, what was he to do? Apologize for an act that he'd never performed? Cry for forgiveness? No, neither of these things were appropriate for him to do. "I wouldn't say I'm sensitive, I just care for you,…

"I never said your looks weren't fine. Do you ... think less of yourself because of the scars?", Josiah asked, and he meant it. There wasn't a moment where he didn't wonder if he'd look more acceptable without his scars, or without the flashy hair, but then again, it had become part of him - all of it - and he was the one that had started it all in the first place. "I'm just curious, I'm sorry. You've never let me get that close ever since the fire, so I had to jump on the opportunity. I didn't …

Was this topic really that sore for Louis? Josiah could only fathom, but it would be better if he let it be, then. There was no harm done if he ignored it, and actually, he didn't need to badger the younger one for more information than needed. Both of them were being immature, at least with the way they currently behaved, but at the very least, neither of them held it against the other. The blonde was happy about a few things, not in here but overall, and he snickered as he heard Louis. "Did an…

"I know, but just because you've had worse doesn't mean that the small things won't hurt.", he reprimanded the big guy. Sure, Louis was taller than him, maybe the slightest bit bulkier, but overall, not only were they pretty much the same in build, they also shared their pain often enough. The scars on Louis body were proof enough of that, and while Josiahs were miniscule in comparison, they both had something more to bond over than just that. As it seemed, the circus was out to get them; which …

"That's good ... I think? I mean, I'm glad you aren't hurting too much, but ... does it really not hurt? That wasn't exactly a soft slap." In fact, it was so hard that calling it a slap wasn't even the right word for it. He'd punched Louis square in the face, so much so that he had pummeled to the floor and fallen right onto his ass, his fall merely cushioned by whatever meat and muscles that he had on his bones. If anything, at least his ass was probably bruised just the slightest bit, but Josi…

The wind carried endless whispers, far into the country and back out here - often enough, Josiah felt as if this circus always stopped in the middle of nowhere, at the edge of the world, with nobody but the world itself encompassing them, watching over them, keeping them afloat; out here, they were all alone, victims to howling winds that, for better or for worse, would catch up on them if one let them. Not once was he able to figure out why it kept him on edge, not twice did he think about what…

Josiah was glad the children behaved; in fact, he actually was overjoyed that all of them seemed to be into the idea that was proposed to them and the gift they received: Fluffy sweetness, something given to them by Louis, who probably would never take credit for a job well done like this one. To them, he wanted to be strict, maybe even impossibly far away so they wouldn't grow attached, but Josiah knew his old friend a bit too well, regardless. At heart, he seemingly still had a soft spot, some…

Gifts were important to the kids - they had next to nothing half the time and a real present was hard to come by. Sometimes, Josiah spotted them looking at their guests, lugging around their beloved and expensive toys, or just wearing nicer clothes; there was always something that the children could be jealous of if they as much as sought it out for more than a second. Someone could have had more than them in a past life, someone could perceive their individual treatment as unfair and so forth -…

Caring for them was a feat in itself, but not an unwelcome one by any means - Josiah enjoyed doing what he did, be it for the sake of just doing it, or for the sake of having done it, having cared for those that couldn't care for themselves; he was like a big brother to most of them, and if he was honest, he didn't want it any other way. There were so many of them that could use someone to lift them up, that could potentially live a better life were they not ensnared in the deep of this world, b…

"See?", Gin replied. This still meant that Kosuke could at least have some next of kin, although not all of them - a set of parents, even if unrelated by blood, was nothing bad to have, even if they were older, maybe even more strict. Gin would be too embarassed to face his own, but Kosuke shouldn't be embarrassed by his line of work, or rather afraid that someone would hate him for it. "You had to pick something if you wanted to survive, right? You didn't just decide that you wanted to be part …

"It's not ...?" That was a new sentence for sure, one Josiah could hardly comprehend, and one, that despite everything, made him more numb to the pain of the world than anything, if at all. There was no way for him out of this one, it seemed, but he had to rely on Louis regardless. Arguably, maybe that wasn't the best or cleanest way to care for it, or maybe he was simply being a tad bit too insecure when he thought about it, and yet, he simply nodded and figured he'd give his old friend a chanc…

Josiah was, for the lack of a better word, exhausted and, in theory, definitely not lost within his own thoughts, but in practice, all of this was a bit much for him, his brain, and potentially even this relationship that he skirted around with Louis. What were they now? Friends? Behated acquaintances that spent years by each others side? Or maybe something entirely different? Neither of those two monikers fit, and while he thought about it, he couldn't come to a conclusion - his body felt heavy…

Questions had burned in his mind for an indefinite amount of time and the only thing that truly plagued him the past few years had been Louis; he'd been his shoulder to cry on, his rock to cling to, but eventually, he removed himself from him and Josiah was left with nothing but himself, with tears he had to dry on his own and with wounds he licked clean in the loneliness of the night that never seemed to fade anymore. As the darkness hat seeped into his trailer, it had also gotten comfortable i…

"You never can, never! And that fucking sucks!", he complained. Truth be told, Josiah wasn't as much on the fence about it as he believed he would be, and yet, his entire body felt as if it was jittering all over yet again. There was no way out of this, much like there wasn't any way for him to combat any of this, and yet ... well, and yet, he was the one of the two of them that was keeping Louis pinned to the ground, yelling obsceneties at him and claiming he was the worst person to ever walk t…

His fingers dug into fabric that encompassed Louis form - Josiah wasn't done with him, he didn't want to be done with him until his face wasn't the goriest, bloodiest pulp he'd ever laid eyes upon, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it, no matter how much he tried to reason with himself. That was one thing, yes, but the other, quite frankly, encompassed nothing more than a stupid realization - he was nothing more than a clown, but instead of admitting to it, he pretended to be better than …

"You said whatever first. Who cares what you say AFTER whatever if you've already established you don't care? Ugh.", Josiah grumbled, there was no way for him to lose out on that one, surely, but he'd already set everything in motion and was decadently crafting his own downfall, right here, in the middle of nowhere, while he simply wasn't sure what he wanted. He was confused, in many more ways than one, and he realized that way too late - but it was late anyway, today could only get worse, and f…

"Whatever? Really? That's all you've got?", Josiah grumbled as an answer. Sure, nobody gave five fucks about Louis if he thought that through, but he didn't want to be the one that this guy came to when he needed a shoulder to cry on, nor did he want to be the person that had to painstakingly admit that he liked him with all his flaws, no matter how large they were. Josiah was over that, he wasn't going to look at this world with rosé-tinted glasses anymore, because, quite frankly, that hadn't g…

What was going on? Louis acted like his mean streak died and he had no fucking idea what he had been on about for the past few hours, but at the same time, Josiah was the one that wasn't going to buy some sort of stupid excuse for a thing that should have been apparent from the getgo. Actually, why was he even entertaining the guy outside of the cage? "Oh, sorry, you walk around and look at everyone as if they pissed on your breakfast. Because that makes a big difference.", Josiah replied, rolli…