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This was a mistake. To fall for the tricks of the mundane, was, too. Ros was failing himself, but not just that, he was also failing others. In theory, maybe he was absolutely and undoubtedly smitten by the idea of this working out, but the grim reality of it was that, after everything he’d done, he now stood in his doorframe, a bag whisked out of his hand and the promise of nothing else left. Right. He closed the door, locked it and foisted the key away, onto a hook. Afterward, he was quite a w…

With his things packed back up, Ros had made his way out of the building again - his coworkers, some of them at least, had given him quite the stare-down, hoping he'd disappear back into thin air and not annoy them for the rest of their shifts and today, they actually got what they wanted, if only because Ros didn't want or need to be here in the first place. Where were they even getting all of that energy from? Who even knew. Not that he cared. As he put his coat back on, the map neatly folded …

That morning he'd made the unanimous decision that it was time he got out there - he found the spare apartment someplace, factually not too far from the cupboard he'd imagined it to be in, and had snuck out rather quietly, while Nathan still seemed to be quite a ways asleep. Ros needed a moment, he needed some silence and some distance to order the thoughts in his head away from the feelings he still thought himself to be experiencing after all this time - there was nothing, they weren't connect…

Ros didn't say anything about that thereafter - it didn't help that the two of them usually fought, so getting into the thick of it now wasn't something he deeply desired, or even wanted to happen in the first place. It was simply better they both shut themselves up for now, and then, when they actually had somethink to share with one another, they could back to what they wanted to actually confer to one another - if there was anything. Did he know? Was he aware? Who knew. Ros was his own bundle…

With the topic dropped, their conversation felt much better, much safer for Ros to continue - even though there was nothing to really feel save about here, he was the predator and Nathan the prey, and he felt as if something was off if they kept digging into his flaws? Maybe, Ros just enjoyed being hypocritical for the sake of it, which many a time meant that he was right on the money, he just simply did not like admitting to his own problems and thought that, if he was lucky, he'd be able to wi…

Was Nathan right? Ros didn't want him to be right, but he was, for the first time in maybe a while of recent memory, this man was more right than Ros wanted him to be and maybe, just maybe, that hurt ever so slightly, knowing that he'd always deny him that before, tried to fit in, and now, he just ... was right about it all. Would Ros ever admit to it? He didn't know. Fuck, he hardly knew if he wanted to hear this, but today wasn't the day to get shmarmy or up in arms about certain things, espec…

Ros raised an eyebrow then shook his head. Nathan misunderstood. "I don't like meat when it's mushy. But to keep it eatable, it has to be frozen, which makes it mushy. It's pretty disgusting. But I'm also not thrilled to hunt, at least when I'm ... like this. Sometimes some less fun parts of me get the better of me, especially when I'm hungry, and then it's not about needing to eat, but like if a well-fed housecat found a mouse that runs but never hides.", he explained his problems away as Natha…

"Look at it like that.", Ros looked at him like he wasn't sure what to say at first. "If you only eat carrots, and only carrots, but you know just about anything else might make you reel, or if you're past that, it might just be like a clump of stone in your stomach, you know that you can eat carrots and nothing else. The problem is, there's one part of you that wants to know what other stuff tastes like, and there's the other part that really wants the carrots. Now imagine you don't always feel…

"It's really not that, don't worry.", he chided his former lover with promises of being alright, with this being fine and there being nothing he could or feasibly should worry about in the end. Roscoe was, always, someone that didn't want to be seen as anything less than he was, yet, at the same time, took on project after project and ate through himself like a crumbling limestone wall until there was nothing left of his rigid self, and he broke down into his pieces, trying to reassemble himself…

Ros was never true to himself or anyone else - of course the bowl was full of soup because he deluded himself into thinking that he wanted that, some cardboard concoction he could barely taste in the first place, and not what his body needed. Nathan was right, though, and yet he still rolled his eyes - this had merely been a gesture of good will. "I will, when you're sleeping. Don't worry. I need to get around to it first, and I think I'll need a bit." The thought alone made him wince, though. R…

With that out of the way he felt courteous to at least inform Nathan. "My coworker is fine, since you were wondering. I don't think it affected her that much, maybe it's even a favor to her, in a way." Getting her in danger not so much, but ridding her of her last attachments to her former boss for sure. With all that out of the way, however, there was just about a few things he could be left wondering many a thing about. "You're right. But you can't conjure any of that right now. Just rest up a…

Ros put on an apron and got to it - at least he had that stuff home, and even if not, he probably had it in the freezer. Was it fresh enough? Who even knew. His principles about food were buying it fresh and if it would go bad before he ate it, he usually chopped it up or made something out of it, then froze it for when the need arose. Contrary to popular belief, though, he never housed many guests and his haphazard state of picking apart his entire kitchen - no, his fridge and freezer - came to…

How long had he known the other for? It was too long. By now, they both knew what worked and what didn't, how to make everything count in the way it did and how to make sure there was no subservient emotional attachment to a one-off thing that would hold them both back because they couldn't navigate past it. Such a thing never existed, or hardly ever, whatever the case or cause. "They did him in for, well, everything they could make stick. Aside from that, probably something related to me, or ju…

The comment caught him off-guard, yet at the same time he could fathom what it meant. You don’t look like you’re in your early stages of humanity anymore - you look much more well-adjusted, not like the guy I fell for in the first place; but Nathan wasn’t like that, he never made snide remarks if they weren’t hands deep in one anothers hair and he knew quite well that Ros would shut him up before he could even say anything out of line. “Better than yesterday? Yeah, the meat helped. I’m still in …

Ros had wholeheartedly expected Nathan to stay passed out for the time being, not move an inch or even rouse from his sleep, and yet, he was proven wrong immediately when his freezing hand was enough to pull back the curtains that blinded Nathans eyes it seemed. There was nothing at first, just the usual, but before long, he did indeed make noises and seemed to be back in reality before long. Was this to be expected or was Roscoe simply too clingy with Nathan right now? Whatever the case, he gav…

Ros' sleep was anything but peaceful - it was more akin to a fit that he hadn't had in a long time, so bad that he clawed himself into one of his pillows and tore it apart at some point during the night, which he only came to realize come morning. He still felt sluggish, none the wiser about what had happened the day before, or even the night after that, but the moment he woke up in a sea of his own hair, he sat up faster than he should've. Annoyed, he rubbed his head, checked his chest - he was…

Right. They'd never officially broken up, but telling Nathan now that he didn't consider this too be over if he were deep down ugly and honest would only send him further away than ever. Ros didn't even particularly feel anything for him anymore, he simply was happy to have him around and to entertain himself with his relentless barrage of reactions that he could muster. "Was that too close? Sorry.", Ros instead responded in a sweet voice, hardly satisfied with what he'd fed himself, yet, he was…

With Nathan found, Ros watched him for a bit, intrinsically so - whenever he was hungry, and somehow found himself in a sort of post-gorge bliss, he was quite attentive and not at all the horrible creature that Nate sometimes made him out to be. No, in fact, he was docile like a kitten right now, eyeing one of its parents' tails swishing behind their back, wondering if he should risk to pounce on them and obviously lose. Sadly, though, Nathan wouldn't be able to really keep up with him and Ros d…

Ros was spent and he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day in this bed and not move anywhere anymore - there was no place for him to go after all if he kept this up, and besides, escaping his own consciousness was always the best way to deal with things he didn't want to deal with. He was so close to drifting off when his ears picked up on someone - Nathan - wandering around the apartment, seemingly looking for him and following the trail he'd left behind. How long until he found…

This was freeing - it felt like he'd taken off a corset he'd improperly worn for ages, something that had tied off all the air he'd ever had in those very lungs of his and now, that he could actually breathe, he realized that his hunger was something that needed to be stilled and that Nathan wasn't something he wanted to eat, no, not even when he looked at him with eyes that showed the smallest glint of satisfaction for once in their life. Come tomorrow, he'd be able to patch himself back togeth…