Suchergebnisse

Josiah fell asleep very fast and Lucy was happy for him. She stroked his back a bit longer until she was sure he was fully asleep, then allowed herself to fall asleep as well. She felt save in Josiahs arms and she slept well all night through until she was woken up by a shake. She slowly opened her eyes. She too was a bit stiff from seemingly not moving the whole night, but she slept wonderfully without any nightmares or intruding thoughts. Josiah was already up and getting dressed, while Lucy s…

Jo needed someone to look after him as well, even if he denied it and Lucy felt like it wasn't just her needing some comfort tonight. The small bad was warm and cozy like this, unlike the empty bed she had. It was a luxury to have a trailer for herself, but often she rather had a roommate like Conny and Leila had been. The silence of the night was too often too scary, even before all the things that happened. Lucy preferred the day, when the whole circus grounds were bustling with life and there…

"I just don't want you to beat yourself up over anything. Whatever Louis says, don't listen to him and he's also not your responsibility, okay? He's a grown up who can make his own decisions." Lucy sighed. Josiah was usually running around all smiles, but deep down he wasn't that at all. He always ate everything up and never let it out. Sometime he'd just shatter. That he only punched Louis in the face once was a miracle, but she agreed to not talk about it anymore for tonight. They were both ti…

"I know... still..." Lucy got too attached to the children she knew that much, they always left, barely stayed someone as long as them and took it to adulthood. Leila was going there, but then... It was so unfair. It was really nobodies fault, definitely not Cornelias nor anyone elses. They always trained without the net, they did their tricks thousands of times... maybe they challenged luck one too many times, but either way, the whole situation could have been handled with more grace. The fact…

"Then someone else will leave...", Lucy cried, very well aware that Josiah didn't need all her feelings dumped on him either. She wasn't mad at Josiah for not telling her, she was just sad and overwhelmed by everything that was happening. She was tired, exhausted even and all of this was just too much. It had been bad when Louis and Josiah were always fighting, but now? Leila was dead, Cornelia was a wreck, Lucas was gone, Josiah was hurt and Louis? He turned more and more unrecognizable to her.…

Arthur was a bit overwhelmed by Lucys sudden entrance, but he didn't blame her. Instead he noticed that she wasn't feeling too well and he felt bad for worrying her. Josiah didn't feel well either and once the two of them locked eyes, Arthur was pretty sure he was intruding here. "Yes, no problem.", Arthur smiled and got his head patted. Then he left. he didn't feel kicked out, it was true that it was late and that he needed to sleep, so he made his way over to the trailer in which most children…

"Oh! That late?!", Arthur asked a bit shocked. He should have gone to bed a long time ago and he missed dinner too. Well, that was fine, he wasn't very hungry, but he also felt bad for being gone for so long. Everybody else probably slept by now. "Oh... I mean I am sad... Leila was nice. But I mean, I didn't know her that well... and Lucas neither. The other children talk a lot, I didn't want to intrude..." He didn't feel like whatever he felt compared. "Oh... I mean it is pretty late and there …

Arthur jumped when the door to the trailer suddenly opened. He'd been so focused on the book that he forgot everything around him and he looked at Josiah with wide eyes. "Oh... uhm, I... I don't know h-how late it is.", he replied, closing the book in his hand and getting up, because he felt it was rude to talk to Josiah sitting on the floor. Josiah was already aiming for his bed, throwing himself on to it. "Me?", he asked confused. Who cared about Arthurs feelings? Josiah was the one hurt and t…

Louis took feeling better gladly today. There was no grief, no regret, not guilt, he was just himself, he felt like himself, even though in a few hours he'd ask himself what he had been thinking. He felt unshackled as well. Not just like a boy with barely a personality, eager to help everybody out before the show. "Louis honey, you look different today.", a voice behind him started and he turned around with a smile. He looked into Ruths face, normally eager to shoo him around and he gladly accep…

No fight, no arguing, barely any acknowledgement from Josiah. The cold shoulder, huh? That was fine, Louis didn't want to argue, but it was unlike Josiah to back down like this and not want to work. He would have asked him if he was alright, if he needed anything or if Louis should tell him where most help was needed, but he didn't want to keep him and he did want to be done with this talk before he switched and Josiah would only be more offended. Louis had looked forward to some time of peace o…

Louis helped where he could, even though he wanted to hide. His body hurt still, this was unusual, but he pushed through it. He hang the plan of todays show up in the dressing room for everyone to see so everyone would be on time and didn't forget they had a bit to do extra. Nobody seemed to talk about Leila which was a bit surprising, but not something Louis would complain about, he didn't want to talk about her either, or think about what happened. Lucas was missed by the other children and th…

Louis looked like James almost offended, as if he just wanted him to pretend Louis was as stoic as ever. "I told you I am fine. No pressure whatsoever.", he relayed with a sigh. James was too nice, even worse than Jo and Louis couldn't deal with this right now. He saw Mara eaten by her cats and James crushed by his weights. It was too much to look at any of them at the moment. "I'll grab an apple if I feel like it." James did too much, but he did that for everybody, Louis wasn't special in that …

Was he on a short leash? That man or whatever he was never really talked to Louis. Maybe he assumed too much but only when he questioned that status quo did something terrible happen. Well other than the terrible things that happened here all the time, but nobody knew about it. "No, I'm fine.", he assured James and Mara. It was almost weird for them to worry like that. Did he look that terrible? There was no way he could rest anyway though, even though today he felt like he was about to collapse…

People started talkin again after Louis seemingly walked in at the absolute wrong time. He wasn't good for entrances outside the big tent, after all he was mostly the first one around. James didn't take a no as that and he fell only short of taking Louis by the shoulder and simply sitting him down. Maybe Louis wasn't as alone as he thought. James was stronger than anyone else around here, he was a monster of a man, but mostly in stature. He was a kind soul in the end and at the moment Louis appr…

As Louis entered the small wall-less tent they usually ate their food in he felt it was awfully silent. He scanned the surroundings and saw neither Cornelia nor Josiah. He could only hope they both were okay, but he probably wasn't the on they wanted to see right now. Everyone was probably shocked by what happened. Plenty of children 'left' every now and then and new came but a death like that? Since Louis almost died nothing much had happened. Of course there were accidents, broken bones, cuts,…

Louis just wanted to sink into the ground and never return. He never truly gave suicide a thought, it never even occurred to him, but now that he asked the question of if he was even able to die, it stuck in his head. It would be selfish and cowardly and nobody would care. No, he had to pull himself out of this. He went to Josiahs trailer half hoping he was awake, half not. He unlocked the door and took a peek inside. He heard him snore a little, so he was definitely alive, good. Louis went to h…

They all had plenty of bad moments and aside from that they all looked like monsters in the right light, just like Louis did, but only half so. He didn't comment it, Alice seemed almost sincere, as if she was the one not part of the group. First she pranced around him like a cat, pushing him into corners and now she acted awfully high and mighty and as if she was better than the rest. Truth be told, Louis had enough of her and he believed that she could probably say more, but refused to do so. W…

Louis fit nowhere and Alice mocked him for it. What was he to do if everybody slammed their door into his face? He might end up hanging out with Roy, the only person who seemingly wasn't offended by Louis existence. He wasn't as bitter and cynical as they wanted him to be, nor did he have fun when children were sacrificed to the ringmaster. The warm feelin that he felt wasn't enough to coax him to their side, in fact it did the opposite. He didn't want to be complicit like that. Nowadays he aske…

"N-No... I..." Louis had no answer for her. Maybe he was sentimental. Even though he tried to burn those bridges that connected him and Josiah for years, today might very well have been the day he actually suceeded. He never wanted to hurt him for real, he never truly wanted to lose him, despite telling him to go and be save. Josiah wouldn't forgive him for today, neither would Cornelia or anyone else that cared for Leila. Not that they'd think he killed her, but he whisked her away and he'd hav…

Louis could never tell when those guys were joking. They never took any situation seriously, so there was no reason for them not to. Alice at least said something about what was going on and maybe he would have listened more if she didn't get all touchy with him while doing so. Would she truly give him any answers? He wasn't so sure about that, he still didn't know where she stood and what her goals were. In the end she might have just found it funny that Louis had no idea of what was going on o…