Suchergebnisse

Josiah had imagined many things to be waiting for him, but something was just simply ... off. Whatever it was, he couldn't know, but he could at least try and piece it together - if he was sound of mind, that was. Louis was stupid, always on edge, never talking about what was on his mind, but right now? Right now he ran his mouth like he couldn't get enough of it and like he needed to vent all frustrations and reservations he'd kept to himself for way too long - and it hit, if it hit earlier, ri…

He was perfectly fine here, mulling over things, considering things that hadn't even transpired yet, but he was thinking it through now - Louis wanted him to leave, and whether he left alive or dead didn't matter, not to him. Where would he go anyway? Look for his parents? He was here because they probably didn't want him, and Jo understood that fully well - right now, he didn't even want himself, he wanted nothing more than to rip his own head off from where it sat on his shoulders and kick it …

And all of that was deserved too. That was what he got for talking to Louis like that, and it was what he got for making a spur of the moment decision - he lay there, for a moment, at the bottom of the steps that Louis had cast him aside to and he knew, in that moment, that it didn't matter. He got back up and wiped his eyes dry, gave his clothes a pat and walked off - he didn't want to be here, because it meant that he'd have to be close enough to Louis to admit that, at first, it was a rouse; …

Josiahs brows were furled at this point and his own head a dash away from being a madder shade of red. This was going to hurt, he knew it, but nothing could have braced him for the impact that was about to hit im like a freight train. There was nowhere to go but up ahead from here - upward and onward, as they always said, and he let all of Louis' stupid insults and dumb excuses trickle on him like torrential rain would; in a pour, hard and hurtful, and not pretty at all, like someone was pelting…

Josiah grit his teeth, bit his bottom lip shortly thereafter and looked at Louis, almost bewildered, almost as if he'd lost it completely now - this man was off the rocker, or very close to go off of it, and now he was telling Josiah he shouldn't give a shit about him? What was wrong with him? "You change your mind every other minute.", he retaliated. Louis was never set on anything, and Jo wished desperately it were - there was no way to reel him back in, hell, there was no way to make himself …

Louis was the same as always - difficult, hard to please and not impossible to read like he seemingly wanted to be. There was something that had changed, alright, but that was that and here was now. Why would there be any reason for him to go anywhere, for him to keep evading a question as simple as this one? Not once had there been a need for him to keep his thoughts to himself, and not once had he had to think this much about something as silly as their current interaction - way back when, at …

"I''ll figure it out myself, then.", he told Louis with a smile that could only tell so much. In fact, there was nothing that he could tell him at all, and there wasn't anything that he had hoped to achieve with telling him that. Louis was, in the end, selfish to a fault and also busy, too. Neither of them should help the other in that regard, but Jo, ever the same, had hoped for some advice in any way. almost as if he wasn't sure on who to ask, or who it could be that wanted to give him a helpi…

There was nothing to compare this situation to, much like there was nothing to explain here. Jo wanted to talk to Louis, plain and simple, just tell him he wanted to perform tonight and that was that, but it also begged the question of who would look after Conny - who had time for that in the first place? Now his own head reeled, he hadn't thought this through, and he wasn't going to bank on having her fall asleep like last night. It simply wasn't possible. Perturbed, maybe even annoyed, he grun…

Lucy seemed to stir immediately and Jo felt bad for waking her in the first place - there theoretically wasn't even a need for it, and in preparation for the coming day, he'd completely forgotten that it wasn't worth waking her in the first place. "I ... ah ... before you came here yesterday ... no, not ... fuck ..." Jo looked better rested than the last day, but there definitely was a sense of urgency in the back of his mind, and he had so much to wrangle, all of a sudden. Was that why he'd bee…

Not all of that was something he'd take for granted - Jo was often secretive, even with himself, and letting someone into his temple of solace wasn't something he'd do because he needed to feel better about himself, but because he knew that some people just couldn't go where he was going anyway. Some of them didn't have the luxury of silence, of a moment of respite, but he had enough of that and often yearned for company instead, which was probably why he also indulged Lucy - tonight wasn't fun,…

"Mhm.", Jo dismissed it, simply for the fact that he really wasn't in the mood to dream about Louis, too. He had enough of this man for a night and keeping his thoughts occupied with him only spelled disaster - he'd be inadvertendly reminded of the fact that he was doing nothing but making himself feel paranoid over something entirely outside of his control, all the while he thought himself to be better than that in the same breath. "I appreciate it, I really do.", he told Lucy, knowing that a h…

He knew, too. There was something that he couldn't grasp, and no matter how hard he tried to understand Louis, it didn't work. Nothing got through to him, and when he thought he finally did, Louis started going on about the same crap again, like a broken record, as if he'd explode if nobody else said what he wanted to say to Josiah. Whyever he felt the need to do that, Jo couldn't say, but he knew he could only wait for so long before it would happen again. Maybe keeping away from Louis altogeth…

"It's not something we can control, really.", he reminded her, and he was right about it, too. Whoever the ringmaster deemed as useless, or no longer needed, would go and disappear into the night that nobody ever saw coming. Jo wasn't having it anymore - he didn't want to believe any of those lies any longer or be compliant to them, yet, he couldn't do anything else at the moment and was forced to just accept it for what it was. Was it fate? Was it something nobody could control? He wasn't sure,…

Now that Arthur was gone, someone else was here and Josiah was left to wonder how many more of them would be crying in each others arms over Leilas death and maybe Lucas' disappearance. It was too much, there was no way of knowing, but they were all wallowing for their own reasons, be that as it may anyway. "He's fine, I'm sorry. I'll let you know next time he's here.", he assured Lucy and rubbed her back gently, as if she needed every piece of love that she could get in that very moment - Jo wo…

Arthur talked, which was nice, and Jo figured if he dozed off now, that would be for the best - he could blame it on fatigue, and Arthur would, in turn, not blame it on him for passing out mid-conversation like that, hopefully, but in reality, there was no way he'd be able to do any of that right now. "Yeah ..." That late indeed. Sure, they could go to bed, but who was to deny Arthur an extra hour of sleep, or maybe even some time alone tomorrow morning if he wanted to be knocked out cold? Not e…

With the little guy here, he could still sleep - Josiah just didn't not want any company, wasn't it that? He felt as if the moment he'd be alone, he'd probably go off his rocker and just be a mess himself, knowing that he could always try to save himself into someone elses arms, but at the cost of being nothing more than a burden to many more than just himself. There was this absolute misery of understanding something that he didn't quite like, or get for that matter. "It's probably around midni…

Jo was done eventually and wiped the paint off altogether - it was useless to him in the first place, he wouldn't perform tonight. What use was it if he occupied a spot others could need? None, absolutely zero, and he'd not force himself onto anyone either, knowing fully well that it would hurt others more to see him as a miserable heap of sadness than if he just forced out a smile. Tonight was absolutely done for; what was it again? Not everything could always go his way, sure, but he felt as i…

There wasn’t any energy left in him, not a lot at least and that which he had, he didn’t want to use to argue with Louis. It was no use anyway - neither of them needed to argue with the other and they could confidently avoid the problem altogether if they simply never argued again. Josiah knew that that was idealistic and unlikely, even in a perfect world, but tonight he wanted the world to be as close to that as it could be, even with how absolutely not alright it all was. Silence was cast betw…

He wanted to be quick with this, simply because he’d spent too much time dallying around already anyway, and he didn’t want Louis to come offer him some sort of help, or others to worry for him more than they already did. Jo was glad to get this over with, to get himself out there and just enjoy the show he’d put on, so it was no real surprise that his face was stark white with paint already, the moment Louis showed up. Just as he was about to dot on the rest of it too, but there was nothing he …

With Louis gone, the table grew silent initially, until Mara actually got up herself and waved James a quick goodbye - she went to all the people that Louis had told her to ask, in hopes of just making this mans job a little easier, but she saved the worst ones for last. Some of them she simply couldn’t understand, hell, she didn’t even want to understand them and they made no efforts to do the same for the rest of them. Oddballs, all of them, and yet the ringmaster kept them around for some rea…