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Arthur wasn't sure about that and as soon as he heard Josiah, he was sure he could get down from here - no, he had to stay up here, didn't he? Everything was questionable for sure, but for now, he wanted nothing more than to get away from the height and Leila, or his own incompetence - Louis tried, sure, but he wasn't really good at trying in the first place. Instead, the blond boy had no idea of what he wanted to think about all of this and grabbed the rope he was handed by Leila, albeit only s…

There was no way he could master this in what Josiah would deem sufficent time. Factually, there was no way out of this for him either, however, and given everything that had happened, there was no need for him to raise a stink over it. Right now, he was supposed to make other proud of him, and in a way, he should be the one that made everything possible for himself, but Arthur just knew that he wasn't made for this. All that happened so far was, in a way, against him, and all that would happen …

Still, fears were normal to have, were they not? Heights weren't something he liked dealing with, he never had - not that he was terrified of them, but he just didn't enjoy them, and yet, this seemingly wasn't something he'd get out unscathed. For now, Arthur was the only one that could reign in his own fear, and for that, he had to do so much more than just stay up here, even if he was trembling and close to someone that, by his own impression, had not cared much for him, or rather wanted him g…

Still, it was uncanny. No matter how much he tried, he just couldn't get used to the air up there, or the general atmosphere. Arthur had always been brave, but not that brave, and even if he considered all his options, not once had he tried to climb onto the roof of his parents home, which had to stand around the same height as this, or possibly was even smaller. No matter his efforts, he figured, and no matter his ideas, he told himself, all of that would be wasted if he just ... ignored the ho…

Arthur wasn’t so sure about, well, all of this. Being a clown was maybe an idea, and something like juggling balls he’d learn - or maybe some neat tricks like the other kids, where they had pulled a coin out from behind his ear this morning while they’d chuckled and mumbled at breakfast. Naturally, he had expected something similar, something … steadfast, something he just needed to practice to perfect, but instead, he found himself here, someplace much darker than anticipated. Even with the ope…

And thus, that had happened. Josiah was one of many that grew up here but one of few that survived - the natural selection of the worlds best performer wasn‘t always the nicest, quickest or easiest in any way, but even when push came to shove and he wound up with a difficult decision placed right in front of him, he‘d found a way out. Not this time, though, and all that was left of a silly mount of glory in his voice were tired words as he slipped into a slumber for the night, not particularly d…

Was he mad for the sake of being mad? Whatever. No, he was not, he'd never be, he wasn't that type of petty, he figured, but maybe he was, simply because he could be and potentially because life was being needlessly mean to him and the only constant in his life he'd had when he grew up, at least that shared his age. Was this going to amount to anything when he was done? No, Jos was simply throwing a tantrum now, he realized it soon enough, and was seemingly even more childish than before. This a…

The murmurs and whispers of his friend were hard to drown out when it was all he could focus on. Josiah knew that Lous voice would stick with him, stay with him and make him feel plenty of different things, but time and time again, there were moments where he had to swallow a bitter pill and realize that neither of them had been kids in a while; they were adults now, and as much as he had wished he'd grow up years ago, he now wished he never did, or maybe that Louis never did. Whatever the case,…

Jos wanted to sleep, for one, but for the other, he'd be content with simply falling out of the rafter right now. If he were to fall asleep, at any given point, he'd probably have to set himself straight for it, and yet, he simply could not help it. Was it because both of them had changed so much, or was it because neither of them wanted to admit that they had changed so much more than they should? Figurately, maybe Lou was right - maybe they both were too much for each other, or too adult to st…

None of this was enough - neither one of them was enough, and in fact, none of these explanations were enough for him either. If anything, Josiah had more questions than answers now, and all of them were scalding hot, burning into his tongue as he clicked it and asked himself if both of them had, at some point in their lives, considered that two goats had birthed them instead of a set of human parents - they were equally as stubborn as those things, butting heads over everything, and while Lou s…

In times of sadness, having a smile and infectious laughter was important. However, currently, it was anything but that - Josiahs emotions fluctuated and he wasn’t sure what of this was just an act and what wasn’t; how much he could do for his friend and what little there was he simply could not. Would it suffice to make him giggle, or was it more than enough to turn him into a slightly humorous pile of something? As Josiah wondered about that, his own act was still a questionable one, but even …

"I never will!", Josiah grumbled, all too aware that this wasn't the answer someone like Louis wanted to hear. No matter the circumstances, those two would always behave like a pair of conjoined twins, or at least one of them would act like that was what they were, without giving the other room to breathe - it was Lous own fault that he came here tonight, to someone that had desperately waited for him to finally talk with him after what felt like forever, and Jo couldn't help but be an idiot abo…

Josiah had many more questions than he had answers for, but one glance at Louis told him that he wouldn't find out anything - he was like a lockbox, but without, well, a lock or a key in the first place; a wooden cube, sealed tightly, with an indent showing that it was to be opened, and yet, because of the mechanism inside, nobody could get in. As much as he wished for himself to be smarter than that, Josiah knew he wasn't, knew that if anyone, it was Louis who had always been the fastidious and…

Once it was time to sleep, the two of them could just shut their mouths and descend into a fit of smothering warmth, keeping each other aloft in one anothers arms and tucking each other in - there was no security in this world, no hopeless daydreaming needed to imagine the weirdest things of all. If they needed something, they had it, mostly for their shows, but even then, that neither meant that it was truly theirs, nor, that it was actually bought for them. As Josiah thought about it, his gaze…

Sending kids to the chopping block had never been his intention, and yet, without fail, he continued to do so, may it be what it was - not once did he stop to consider that his actions set more than just him up for failure, that it hurt others, that it terrorized those who couldn't do anything but watch in horror as he attempted his very best to fit in or make those who couldn't fit in seek out a place like this one. In a circus, not a single soul needed to be part of a grander scheme, they just…

To this day, gauging all of this was more of a hassle to him than an annoyance. His best friend was lost in the fire that day, not having made it out alive, he was plenty sure of it, but then again, if that were the truth, he'd be staring at a clone of the man that had pulled him out of there; something that he couldn't believe to be real, or something that a simple trick of the light would pull off. His eyelids were heavy, surely, but that didn't mean that Louis had become some sort of light be…

"Maybe. Or maybe they couldn't keep us. You never know.", Josiah replied, seeing the whole bit in a slightly more optimistic light. Surely, there was an answer for everything that the two of them were asking one another, but surely, there was no telling what actually went down. As much as either of them deserved to be happy, and as dire as their situation sometimes seemed, as plausible was it to understand that, no matter what, any kind of interest they harbored in their past would change too mu…

"See? Me neither. And the curious thing about that is, well, uhm, where are our parents, if we even had any to begin with?", he questioned with a sigh, although he already knew the answer, which had been burief deep within his chest. Josiah doubted he'd ever had any, but at the same time, someone like him just didn't hatch from an egg at the side of the road, or perhaps fell from the sky, right into their bosses arms - in the end, it mattered little, because the circus was all their life had for…

"Because we were sort of adopted by him, no? I mean, he raised us, and besides that, who wouldn't want to make their parent proud?", Josiah threw in. There was no harm done in impressing a strange person one viewed as their parental figure, and yet, neither of them had ever stopped to consider just how much had changed between them and the world around them. Neither of them could make sense of what was happening to those kids that didn't stay, could they now? It all fell apart in the same corpse…

"They're just kids. Remember when we spent hour after hour talking to each other at night? I say we let them have some fun - not every single day, but at the very least every once in a while.", he chuckled, knowing well enough that he wasn't going to suddenly and indefinitely change how some people thought. Louis was more practical, he figured, and Josiah understood why he wanted something done, right then and there. Was there any use arguing? He figured not, lest they'd break out in one of thei…