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Braving the bed all day was boring enough when he needed to do it because of a cold, but today was somehow so much worse - he couldn't find a position he was comfortable in for long, and overall, time became a slog, even with his eyes glued to the pages beneath his fingers that wanted to unfurl a story for him that he didn't understand, not in the slightest. Louis was trying to tell him something, but there was a suspension of disbelief involved that Josiah couldn't seem to break. What was suppo…

"Less loud? You're the riot here, unfortunately. Might subside if you come around more often.", one of them commented. This wasn't gonna rain on their parade, in fact, having Louis simply be part of their lives was fine for them, they knew he'd crawl back here eventually, knew he'd needed someone like him to survive the frontiers of the world, but he'd always wanted to be oh so special, beloved by those he shouldn't stick with anymore, loved in a world of light that didn't fit him at all. In the…

Was it a disservice to pretend that Louis just never fit in with anyone? No, but he could be with the misfits if only he could endure their senseless chatter and the incessant prodding at his very core. There ought to be something that he could handle, yet, if it were among the freakshow of the circus, it might as well be their attitudes and their forgiving nature for he, truly, was just one of them. A misguided wolf, hiding among a herd of sheep that stood in the fields, doe-eyed and unaware of…

They were easily amused for sure, like a crowd of cackling hyenas that had to fear nothing but their own hunger and the ringmaster, that didn't exactly keep them on a tight leash either. Seemingly, they were free to do as they wanted, but even now, it seemed as if they felt dutybound enough to travel with the entirety of the rest of them - they just split into their own little groups as the caravan moved from one destination to the other. "Fear you ain't findin' peace 'n solace here.", Roy answe…

"Look who's joining us.", one of them mumbled to the other. They always kept to themselves - there was no need for them to hang out with him, sure, he was one of them deep down, but he kept his safe distance. How very brave of him to actually come crawling out here now, though. Something had to be amiss for him to join them, but they snickered among themselves all the same - there was nothng to hide their, their faces bore that ugly sheen all the same, were warped into nothingness and grotesque …

"Says you.", Leila couldn't help but grin at him. They were both silly, but actually, perhaps not all too similar. Maybe this was getting into his head, too - it was all one way or the other with them, wasn't it? There was no winning here, there was no use interfering with something she didn't even know, but staying away from it felt like she was just going to make it worse. "No, I think he'd start acting like you just caged him up, maybe even go insane ... if he isn't already. I don't think I'l…

These two always seemed to have something to say about one anothers behavior - it certainly didn't help that they seemed to be fighting over the simplest things at times, but Leila was willing to hear them both out and smile about it, knowing that at the end of the day, they'd get along again just fine and all of this would be an afterthought. Hopefully. "I'm glad ... well, for you. Not for him. That doesn't sound too good." She put her pointer to her lips and tapped on them, her eyes cast upwar…

Like a leaf in the wind, Louis toiled and turned with nowhere to go, trying his utmost to make some sort of wave, cause a ripple effect that actually forced him to stay away. Josiah hated it - he hated every second of the delusion that they could still be friends, that they were there for one another until hell froze over in one moment, then couldn't even coexist in the next; it made him bitter, maybe even shrivelled up that heart of his that was ready to just give Louis one chance after the oth…

"Yes, but that ... Louis, listen. I'm sorry, okay? Even if it's not my fault, and I know you'll never let me take the blame, but I'm sorry.", he sighed. In accordance with everything, maybe this kind of excuse wasn't good enough either way - maybe he should man up, tell Louis how he was feeling, how many times he felt lost, and how much it actually meant to him that the two of them were going about it some kind of way. Alas, there was much to mend and yet so little time to do it properly. "I am,…

"I know." None of that was, in essence, maybe. But there was something else that happened, from time to time at least, and there was nothing much he could do about it. Why, praytell, would he even care too much about it all, tough? Louis said it was fine, and Louis word was one he could trust, yet, he knew that - deep down - deluding himself didn't help either. "You're not fine. Look, if you were fine, we'd both be unscathed." What mount of grief was buried deep within Louis, he couldn't tell - …

"I'm ... that's not it. Maybe I do, though." Was he guilty? Louis had to suffer because of him, because he was inadequate, entirely useless, lost, maybe even ripped to shreds by his own inability to do anything right. Even now, he needed someone to save him, to keep a close eye on him lest he'd eat himself alive by being an idiot, but on the other hand, maybe this was all he needed - Josiah was, inherently, alone. Sure, there were people like them, there was Lily, there was James, there were man…

"I know ..." Maybe he was dooming himself for no reason, pretending like he didn't know that he was cared for, beloved in his own sense, but the wave of sadness that it took to actually dismantle Josiah was nowhere to be seen or felt. There was an aptitude of silence all of a sudden, there was a surge of understanding for the situation as a whole and a little less than that. "Never. I never listen to you, and I really don't know why.", he admitted eventually. Listening to Louis ... why would he,…

"A burden to you, not the others. They'd argue I'm more of a burden when I keep resting.", Josiah was agreeing to disagree, yet again. This friend of his seemed to be hellbent on making him stay in bed and admit to his mistakes no matter what, and the two of them, why, they were hardly compatible in their opinions at time. Everything seemed to boil down to one common goal, and every step taken away from it felt like five steps taken toward it at times, even if nobody wanted to necessarily hear t…

The last thing he wanted was a lecture - Josiah could care for himself, he was content, he was loved the way he was, he was simply himself and that was all that mattered in the end. There was no such thing as trusting anyone too much, or too little - he could merely pray for his own downfall if he would keep relying on everyone around him, but not himself. Why was it those thoughts that plagued him the most? If only he knew. "And I already told you, I'm alright. That's nothing I can't wait out, …

The glance that Louis gave him said it all. Sure, it was one thing to demand something like this of him so adamantly, but the shove itself made him wince - his entire body felt as if he could barely keep it afloat on those nimble legs of his, and the area Lou touched - metaphorically - shrivelled up, to ease the sudden surge of insane pain he felt. "I'm alright, I told you.", he reiterated with gritted teeth. What was he losing or winning here? Was there a way for him to escape the fate he'd sou…

It was only natural of him to bite back if somebody wanted to actually force their ideologies upon him. There was little to no reason for him to fight all of this, let alone was there any need for him to actually come up with an excuse this time; Josiah knew he was tired, that he was forcing himself to stand in a pair of shoes he'd didn't even want to be in, but he'd told Louis yesterday: He wanted this, more than anything else. All of this, it had to happen now, in this very instant and he need…

Josiah wished he understood, really, but even as he read that book, there was nothing that immediately caught his eye or would point him into Louis general direction. Wasn't all of this just hogwash? Was her supposed to assume all of these words meant something in the world they live in? Sure, maybe another day, but tonight, Josiah couldn't scramble them together in a cohesive way - he passed out at some point, between the pages, without putting out his candle, so it smoldered away into the nigh…

Josiah rubbed his face - Louis was talking out of his ass again, and they'd never reach an agreement, ever. This was useless - the entire discussion was for naught, hell, it even hurt him to know that, no matter how he twisted or turned it, there was little to nothing he could say to defend himself with. Was he truly in the wrong, while Louis remained in the right? This was bullshit. All of these things, he didn't want to hear them - he didn't need to hear them, in fact. Sure, he'd gotten chewed…

"I'm stubborn because I don't want to be a burden all the time! I can handle myself!", Josiah was quick the argue yet again. If this kept going, they would never finish this stupid dispute of theirs, and maybe Jo didn't want to. It kept him close to Louis, didn't it? There was no need for them to just stop, for them to simply no longer care about the fine details that had caused their relationship to spiral out of control like it did. Why throw it all away? Just because he didn't like arguing? P…

"Then they should stop worrying about me, it's not that important anyway. I'm happy to give, I don't need to take.", he announced, proud of himself for truly not needing anyone for the time being. To stand on his own legs was desirable, to not rely on others was quite literally a virtue, but in the end, he had needed Louis for the smallest of tasks today. "Not entirely. I'm just saying you'll have wrinkles before you're really old, you know?" That was something silly to worry about, something th…