all the highs and none the lows. (Earinor & Akira)

Kosukes reactions were almost cute if he thought about it, but Gin couldn't blurt that out - maybe he'd undermine this guys ... pride, which was something he didn't want to do. Sure, he had gifted him an adorable little sea lizard, twice (kinda) and had already drawn comparisons to it, but he was fairly certain that Kosuke was taking it as some sort of joke, too, and thus, was also unable to get mad at something ridiculous like that. "I switched with a coworker that still owed me something. If I'm lucky, my boss isn't even here and won't take note of it, but if he is, I can still give him a valid reasoning, if he were to ask. Don't worry, really." While Gin figured the dude could be rather harsh, he also knew that this guy sometimes only meant well, at least in a weirdly twisted way. Who wouldn't be interested in keeping their business afloat and their employees in line? A pimp especially - while he wasn't at the brotel all the time, he did show up their when one least expected it, almost like some sort of accursed ghost that haunted the halls of this shitty establishment that ... now, Gin was thinking too much again, wasn't he? "No~!", he announced with a giggle as Kosuke snapped him out of it. "Kidding. Should be enough for simple cakes and cookies."

It seemed that, any conversation that the two of them got going was a rather fun one, no? All the moments they shared - especially right now - were rather memorable, even if they were rather small. Gin pinched Kosuke, just for the hell of it. "I know. It's not exactly delicate work, or anything like you're helping those poor saps, but in the end, a job is a job and we all shouldn't question it, you know? We'll just be ridiculed if we ask about things that everyone else ignores. That's how the world works, unfortunately.", he sighed and fled back into the warm embrace, even with his face, tucked away in Kosukes chest below the blanket - not because he was cold, but rather because Gin felt vulnerable and shy, which was something that only a tall, handsome man could fix, apparently. Either way, he was glad to have Kosuke - something that he could have only dreamt off not too long ago. This man, however, was almost like a godsent and Gin, who didn't give a damn about religion, did want to start a little prayer, just to thank this man. Or something. "Good night, Ko.", he giggled and then, eventually, closed his eyes before he was dragged away into dreamland.

Kosuke lay there with Gin in his arms, something he would have never anticipated to happen and he couldn't sleep. He was nervous, just because he held him and he didn't move an inch, because he didn't want to wake him up. While they were so careful when speaking to each other, Gin just blatantly took whatever he wanted. He came to see Kosukes apartment and now even slept in his bed. He didn't mind it, it was just very surprising. He also wondered about this guys boss and the fact that picking him up from work wasn't allowed. Maybe that meant they had to hide out a little bit after all. Would there be trouble? Kosuke didn't know what he got himself into at the moment, but he also didn't want to think about it too much. He liked Gin and he liked talking to him. He liked how honest he could be and how he didn't judge a man like Kosuke for anything. Not for his job and not for his childish favorite movie either, even though he was very well able to get worked up about unfairness in their lives.

Eventually even Kosuke fell asleep. He had had a long day of work after all, so he was tired. When he woke up the next morning, or closer to lunchtime actually, Gin was still laying in his arms sleeping. For a moment he needed to remind himself how that came to be, it was after all unusual for him to not wake up alone. He lay there for a bit, listening to Gins slow breathing, but eventually he carefully pulled his arm out under Gin and silently stood up, making sure he was still tightly packed into the blanket. He quietly left in his oversized shirt and sweatpants to go downstairs. The supermarket was already long since open and Kosuke slipped in, only to get greeted by the old woman owning the shop with her husband. "Good morning Ko-chan.", she greeted with her shaking voice, knowing that he always woke up late due to his work. "Good morning.", he mumbled with a smile and a soft bow, before quickly searching the shelves for some breakfast for his guest. Cooking wasn't easy in his tiny kitchen and he didn't want to make too much noise, so he simply picked some toast bread and red bean paste. "Breakfast? Do you have someone at home?", the old lady snickered and Kosukes face probably said enough. "It's about time you get married." "It's a bit soon for that...", he mumbled handing her the money. "You can keep the rest." "Ko-chan...", she reprimanded him for giving her a tip, but he didn't take it back, smiled and left to go upstairs again. Back there he quickly put the bread in a toaster. While it toasted he found some butter too and filled a glass with orange juice. Once the toast was done he smeared some red bean paste and butter on top, but everything on a plate and walked over to his bed and Gin, who seemed to be half awake already. "Ogura toast?"

Under any other circumstance, Gin wouldn't have fallen asleep where he did - he felt save with Ko, of all people, and what was more, he was losing his mind about the little things that made almost no sense to others. A little bit of gratitude went a long way, especially if one didn't hand it to a lot of people in the first place - but Kosuke deserved it, he figured, for being there for him, for being such a nice person no less. Gin slept well, surprisingly so, but what mattered more, was the fact, that he soon enough found himself back in reality, with the sun hanging high from the sky, shining into the tiny apartment that he couldn't quite remember at first, not after such a thorough sleep, as he blinked a few times and still held the blanket close that he didn't dare call his own. For a moment, he thought, the world stood still, hadn't moved one bit and was just there to chastise him for being easy, for falling for the first man that was actually nice to him - but it wasn't like that, not at all. Why would it be? That was stupid. He was an idiot for it. Gin knew that. Love was but one stupid variable in a world he didn't understand.

For a moment, he blinked into unfamiliarity, was wondering what had gotten him here, before he decided that he had to look for Kosuke, whom he'd missed dearly at this point - was he too repulsive to sleep next to? Had he awoken for other reasons? Gin couldn't say, but as he blinket around the place, he couldn't find him either. Was this some sort of cat-and-mouse game? Gin couldn't say, he was fairly certain that nothing would be happening if he just lay there, but instead, he sat up and rubbed his eyes - so long that he was soon absorbed by his own thoughts and by the time someone thrust a plate close to his face, he was almost startled. "WH- When did you get here?", he exclaimed in surprise. The shock had definitely woken him up, but Gin played it off and grabbed the toast off of the plate, slightly inching out of the bed as to not get crumbs everywhere. "Thank you ... how did you sleep?", the redhead yawned. His hair probably looked like a mess, but Gin was tired enough to excuse it with every single fiber of his being, at least for now - why wouldn't he, he figured? "Come here?", he asked with a smile, patting the space next to him.

Did he startle Gin? "Sorry...", he apologized and handed the plate over while Gin crawled out of bed. "I was in the kitchen." He had tried to be as quiet as possible, but he didn't think he did a good job with it. Gins head sometimes just seemed to be in the clouds and he was easily startled that was for sure. It was the second time in 24 hours, Kosuke should start to consider that, when approaching the redhead. "I slept well, how did you sleep?", he asked, looking at his 'bed' which was barely one. "I know it's very... crude.", he apologized and eventually sat down next to Gin, offering him the glass of orange juice he brought too. "Thirsty?", he asked with a smile. Usually he'd go for a run right about now, but it wasn't the end of the world to skip that once. Today he worked at the Yaseyumei again, so he started late, which was why he had some more time to attend to Gins needs and talk to him. He could even bring him home.

"I don't have a shower, but there is a bathhouse around the corner. I can borrow you a towel if you need one.", he suggested, but maybe he'd just shower at home or at work. "How long can you stay? I can take you home if you want." It was quite a long walk, maybe Gin rather took a taxi, but if he would, Kosuke decided he'd pay this time. It was unfair to expect him to pay both rides. They both benefited from him being here so it was only fair to pay half of the cost. Kosuke only now - with better light - noticed that Gin looked quite cute in that oversized shirt and his hair was a mess, pointing about everywhere. He didn't want to intrude and fix it, so he abstained from touching and bothering Gin while he ate.

"Huh? Why? You're fine.", he chuckled. "Oh, I was spacing out, I thought you were gone? Well, more half-asleep than spacing out anyway.", he admitted with a bit of a toothy smile. Gin was, as all things in life could be, someone that did nothing but adhere to the rules that he was provided with and every now and then, he acted out the slightest bit, be it because he generally needed to, or because he was somewhat nervous. As his thoughts got the better of him, he'd not even realized how much time had passed, but he had felt comfortable enough to let down his guard around Kosuke, had he not? That was, at the very least, a good sign in his mind, even if the raven man wouldn't consider it to be. Potentially at least. "Like a rock - just very comforted. I'd go as far as to say it's the best sleep I've had in a while.", and he meant it. For one, Gin may be a mess, but for the other, he was still very much himself and as everything stood, he wasn't exactly the type of guy that, for one reason or the other, would simply consider to call it quits - with just about everything no less. "No need to worry, I enjoyed it. It's different, but I wouldn't call it crude."

For a while, he'd slept with a matress on the floor as well, in hopes of finding better vibes, or enjoying it more than elsewhere, but in the end, he'd gravitated back to the good old-fashioned set-up and even traded in a pretty expensive futon, just to figure out how he'd sleep best. Obviously, it was a bed, and obviously, he was thirsty - he took the glass from Kosuke and washed all of it down in one fast gulp. "I ... uh ..." That wasn't the plan, but it was gone so fast, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd even been handed orange juice. "Apparently I was ... can I get some water? Kitchen sink?", he inquired with the slightest hint of remorse in his voice. How lovely the world could be, he realized, only if he himself gave more than two fucks about it. And how sweet it all would be if this was his everyday life, one that could be lived without problems or repercussions, or anything other than what he'd initially wanted - why couldn't the two of them just be a happy couple? "The towel would be great! And ... hm, it's ..." Gin reached for his phone and rubbed his eyes. Why was it 1PM already? Well, he had Ogura toast that he started eating with the littlest of bites because he figured it'd be the only thing he'd have for a while, but ... hm. "You can drop me off at work at ... around four or five? Whatever is easier for you. I can shower there." In theory, his shift didn't start until six, but he was sure that the Yaseyumei called to Kosuke much earlier. "Unless your shift doesn't start until, uh, I don't know, nine? That's wishful thinking."

"I was, for a bit. I thought I'd buy you some breakfast, I didn't have anything here.", Kosuke explained and since the supermarket was just downstairs it was easy enough to get something short notice. "When I woke up you were still asleep. I didn't want to wake you up as well." Kosuke was glad he had a good nights sleep and was now starting to wake up again. Kosuke knew he didn't have the most comfortable home and bed, but if it was good enough for Gin, it was good enough for him too. "You're overexaggerating.", Kosuke said with a slight scuff. Why was this guy praising him so much all the time? That was truly not necessary. "It's just a mattress on the floor after all and it's still messy.", he smiled, refusing Gins compliments, or attempts to make his home sound better than it was. It was cheap and Kosuke didn't spend much time here anyway. It was good enough for him, he just needed a place to sleep, a roof and some room for storing all his stuff.

Gin took the glass out of Kosukes hand and immediately drank all of it. He even demanded more, water this time though and Kosuke stood up smiling. "I'll get you some.", he told him while wandering off again to the kitchen, to pour his guest some water. He didn't drink the one from the sink though, he had bottled water at home, so he opened up a bottle instead. He came back with a full glass and handed it back to Gin. Then he checked his wardrobe and wound up with a fresh towel, but wasn't sure if Gin still wanted it. "I need to be at the Yaseyumei at five, so I can drop you off before that if you want, but if you rather shower at home, that's no problem." He took a bath last evening so he figured he was alright for today until after work. "If you don't want to walk, I can pay for a taxi. You've already spent enough yesterday to get here."

Kosuke was a sweetheart, one that Gin couldn't resist, but also one that he didn't know if he should rely on. This guy had it hard enough as was, he didn't need a nagging whore in his own four walls, which was why he felt especially inclined to praise him for whatever little thing he did, it seemed. Even if that weren't the case, though, he wondered if he'd still get away with more than that, or if he was forever and always doomed to just keep in line with what had been dismissed by his own, unruly actions. Silence was all he had for a while, Gin knew that, but now that he had more, he couldn't help it - he wanted all of it. "Ah, so I wasn't wrong!", he blurted out, sounding almost excited about the fact that, yes, he was right about Kosuke leaving him alone for the slightest bit of time - didn't that encompass some sort of trust? He wondered. "I'm not. If you like it here, if you think it's comfy yourself, why would it be crude? Be honest, Kosuke - do you like it here? Or do you ever dream of more?", he asked, rather unprompted and ate up. The toast was a welcome change of pace and it was nice, too. "Thank you for the meal."

Before long, he was handed a glass of water and Gin drank half of it, before he set it aside, alongside his plate - he didn't want to get up right now, but he also placed it away from his little helping hand, so Kosuke wouldn't feel inclined to just get up again. This was all nice and fine, he figured, but maybe he could come over here when Kosuke was still working? Then again, he wondered if he ever got off before this guy would - or if he'd even appreciate someone fucking around with his interior decorating. "Before is fine! I just need to be done and ready for my shift at six, so before five is enough time to get ready. Sometimes, you know, I wish I'd work a normal nine to five, but on the other hand, I doubt I'd ever have met you if I did, you know?" Something about that felt almost sad, yet incredibly reasonable. Kosuke was a free man, in his own way, and Gin could be, too - yet, they both were still chained to the ground, not by their ties to life, but their youthful idiocy years ago. "No, we'll walk. Please, I insist. No taxis."

"Uh... I don't mind this place. I live here for a while now and I'm not often here anyway. I mostly use it to sleep, sometimes I watch a movie.", Kosuke answered with another smile and a shrug of his shoulders. No he didn't aim for more than this, he didn't need more and he couldn't imagine starting a family either, so there was no real point in more room for children or anything like that. "But that doesn't mean you have to like it." Gin was worrying too much it seemed. Like he'd keep up with anything Kosuke could throw at him, even if he lived in a dumpster, Gin would probably tell him it was alright if he liked it himself. He wondered if his job changed Gin, so that he had to always act like he liked every single word his customers spouted. "Don't worry.", he smiled about the toast, but instead of being handed the plate it was placed far away from him. Did that mean Gin wanted him to stay seated here for now? He did and looked at the redhead.

"Ah... in the end we would have even less time to meet I think. At least we're working similar hours some of the days, right?" When he was at the Yaseyumei that was. It wasn't even that far away either, so meeting up, or bringing Gin to work wasn't as complicated. Kosuke chuckled. "I don't mind walking, I just thought you might. That means we should leave here at about half past three." Which gave them another two hours and then some to do something else. "What would you like to do until then? At this hour the bathhouse should be quite empty if you changed your mind, otherwise... there isn't really much to do around here. I'd usually go for a run right about now." They could go for a walk, or watch TV, that was about all the entertainment Kosuke could offer. This area here was full of small houses and there weren't many shops around here either.

"And yet it's your home, isn't it? Theres no need to be shy, you know, but not having the right funds can be a limiting experience, I can imagine?", he guessed. Gin himself was no interior decoration whizz, but all in all, he'd gotten a few hand-me-downs and oder scrap over the years, that - unsurprisingly, in his opinion at the very least - did their jobs fairly well, even if he had to upcycle them at one point or another. Something like new upholstery, or fixing holes in leather were easier said than done, but it was a nice skillset nonetheless. Still, his boss made sure to provide for him, for whatever reason he truly had. "I do - to me, it's still cozy, even if you deny me that opinion.", he chuckled. That was what he'd concluded and, if he were terribly honest, he wasn't even entirely keen on the way his poor raven framed it. None of this was bad, even as the clock marched on and the sun now showed him all that he'd not seen yesterday - Gin liked it, if he was honest, and it wasn't like he desperately wanted to get out of here either. Sure, it was crammed, but nice, in a way.

For a bit, he just sat there and enjoyed the midday sun and the presence that was with him - Kosuke, whom he could probably share the rest of his life with if he so wanted, but who knew? That wasn't for them. Their fate was different and their choices were rather idiotic ones, always had been, no? "True, I'd just be a sad little housewife that has to eat dinner alone and you'd have breakfast and lunch to yourself. Wow, that sounds way more depressing when I put it that way.", Gin replied, but he was still snickering as he thought of it. Why wouldn't he do this, really? There were benefits to be had, especially if one of them had an upstanding job, but at the same time, maybe he'd be in even more danger, especially if he, as a man, tried to marry another man somehow. "Sounds good ... it'll be a long but rewarding walk, considering I won't have to move much for the rest of the night, but ... are you fine with that?", he immediately wished to know. If not, they could always arrange something else. Gin grabbed his glass of water and took a big swig, to get rid of the other half, as he then let out a sigh. "Hm, a run isn't for me, but maybe we could, I don't know, what would you enjoy?", he pestered the raven man once more.

"Ah... see? It's too crude. I don't know if I'd by anything if I had money to spare to be honest.", he answered rubbing his neck. He never had had much in his life, not in his childhood and not now, so he also didn't seek anything out that was overly pricy, or simply unnecessary. Now that he had a guest however, he wondered if he should have something like a chair, or a bed, or an additional sofa. "I'm not...! I'm just... Maybe you just try to be nice, you know?" Kosuke should accept what Gin said as fact and not always question it. Now he felt bad because he was like this. He felt like hugging Gin as an apology but he didn't. They were glued to each other the whole night, maybe that was enough for a while and Gin would have enough human contact at work. Maybe Kosuke needn't worry about that, but he did. There were a few things they both maybe still wanted to talk about, that they started to talk about at the festival but stopped, because it felt inappropriate in that setting.

"It does... well, but I'd make it work somehow. There are other jobs too, some later at night, some at the day... I never asked for any specific jobs anyway, maybe it's time I did. But for now it works out quite well, doesn't it?", he smiled, looking at Gin and eventually looked at him somewhat confused. "Fine with what? A walk? Sure." Why wouldn't he be? He wondered for a second if Gin meant his job, but he didn't think so. They both knew who they chose for company, didn't they? It made no sense for Kosuke to tell Gin suddenly he was offended by what he did. "Uhm... I don't know. I usually work or train and if not that I am watching TV or read a bit. That's about it and there is nothing much else to do around here... sorry..." Gin liked to play games, right? Well there was nothing much to do here. "Do you want to eat a bit more before work? We could get something now, or we get something on the way, that's usually what I do."

"Kosuke, calm down. It's anything but too crude, you know? And besides, maybe it suffices if we just fill some of the empty space with memories?", he offered. There'd be trinkets at almost every festival that they could attend, and if he were honest, there were a lot that he wanted to see, even if some of them were rather specific to certain regions, which meant they'd need more than a simple daytrip and therefore, were kind of inaccessible to either of them. It sucked, truly did, though he knew well enough that it all would be in vain if he didn't even ask. Gin could provide for travel expenses, he was sure of that. "If I were, I'd have an ulterior motive and like I said, I don't care for your money." Love was a lot more complex than that and for the time being, he figured it must be that and nothing else. Sometimes, stuff like that happened - to be spellbound by someone one barely knew, lovestruck at first sight, or in their case, first touch. However, it was fine, lovely even, especially in hindsight. The two of them were idiots if they refused to admit all of that by now, weren't they?

"Hm, do you think you could get a day off if you ask for specific jobs, then? I ... don't want to be straightforward, and I don't even have a license, but I'd love to travel a bit, especially with you? ... Not that we can't take the train, though. I'd like to see the valley of blue flowers in Ibaraki, for example.", he suddenly suggested. They'd get out of here for a day, could have a nice dinner the night before and then just spend the entire day enjoying themselves, snapping some pictures and looking at the blue flowers, before having to head back - or taking a detour to the sea. Why not go for some time on the beach as well? It made him chuckle, just as he thought about it. That was a nice idea, actually, something that he wouldn't pass up on, not even when it didn't seem to be the most feasible of all methods. "Read? Oh! Do you have any kinds of favorite books?", Gin wanted to know. Maybe Kosuke meant something entirely else, like magazines, or maybe something silly like manga, but all in all, Gin wasn't opposed to anything - he himself had read a fair share of series, even if he didn't enjoy most of them; was he supposed to admit that he liked shoujo the most, like, now? That'd be embarrassing. "I'm fine, maybe I'll grab something on the way, but I'm generally not a big eater. Thank you for the offer." He leaned over and rubbed his head against Kosukes shoulder. "It's so nice and serene here - I thought you'd hear more, but you have a pretty quiet neighbourhood."

"Emtpy space?" Now Kosuke laughed and didn't take Gin serious anymore at all. "Do you see an empty space here?", he asked chuckling. Almost everything was full of stuff. Magazines, books, clothes and so on, there was barely room for the new Tokage. Then he softly grabbed Gins hand, just to hold his fingers a bit. That was allowed, was it not? "Money is not the only thing people can be after...", he mumbled with a smile. "Maybe... you just want me to like you...?" He already did, very much so. Gin didn't need to worry, or act differently in order for Kosuke to keep having him around, or picking him up, or bringing him home. It was odd really, Kosuke wouldn't call it love, but he definitely enjoyed being with him, talking to him and even only texting with him. Even if their texts came hours apart due to their jobs, it was still nice to read a line after a long day of work and Gin always seemed like he cheered Kosuke on. It was cute and encouraging.

"Oh I... don't know. I have a license, but no car. I could maybe do debtor jobs, then I'd have off early, if I'm quick maybe even at around 3PM and when I take the shift at Yaseyumei at the evening, I'd have more than a day of free time? Similar to yesterday and today..." A day off was something else entirely. Maybe if he were to deliver something in the area, but he couldn't just ask about that. He was a nobody and there was nothing anyone would do for him. Why would they? "I read some krimis lately and sometimes a classic or two... I got some books from the pair downstairs." They were too nice to him. Kosuke leaned over to the little table which had a book on it, burried by other stuff. He folded one corner to remember where he stopped and now handed it over to Gin, who came closer again to cuddle. "Yeah... There is not much going on around here, that's true... It's louder at your apartment complex, right?"

"Lots of empty space if we rearrange a bit." But maybe that was just him, without knowing how futile this scenario truly was. He could only hope to make a quick buck off of something like that, or to get his hands on enough free time to get his dear Kosuke some much needed help; in the end, however, he wasn't doing so great, was he now? It was stupid to think that maybe he did, or that eventually he would - they both lived their own lives in a weird way of co-depending on their own jobs no less, and Gin had to admit that it made him lose his mind, more often than not. Why wouldn't it anyway? All in all, he was making one mistake after the other - but those weren't bad mistakes, not at all. "I know you already do like me, so I'd say my mission is accomplished?", he teased, rather endearingly. Was he wrong? He doubted it. There were many more things he'd ultimately disagree with, but all in all, he was happy, right here and right now, entirely absorbed in what little attention he received from Kosuke - what if he appreciated a nickname much more?

"Hm, no no, I don't want you to stress yourself, really!", he suddenly blurted out. "Wh-what I actually mean ..." His eyes wandered down toward the hand that held his own and blushed the slightest bit. Those small, loving gestures were enough to get him going and he was, all things considered, incredibly thankful for them - to have someone that actually gave two damns about him and loved him, as he was. Redhead or not, he couldn't help but grin. "It'd still be nice if we found the time at some point - the flowers are only in bloom for a few days in the year from what I remember, so we'd probably have to time it right. I'm sure we can manage." That, at least, was, what Gin hoped would happen. In the end, he wasn't so sure, and could only admit that his own faults weren't anything that should stand in their way, lest he'd actually realize just how dumb he behaved. Gin smiled. "Oh? Let me see if you have anything I like too! We could trade books the next time we meet, if you'd like?" Without another word, he took the book Kosuke handed him and turned it over, to at least read a bit of a plot summary. "Pretty much, at least when the kind of posh kids are around and stir up trouble. Wouldn't be the first time."

"If you want to have things rearranged then I'll do it, but you have enough on your plate with work and all. Don't worry about it, but if you tell me what you want, I'll make it look like that the next time you arrive." He simply wanted Gin to feel comfortable, that was all. If he had to change his flat for that, he'd do it for him. He looked up at Gin and smiled. "But you're more insecure than you let on... I know that... and I'm sorry we couldn't talk yesterday, so if you still want to, we could now?", he offered and softly intertwined their fingers. What were topics yesterday? Some backhanded comment of one of Gins customers? Kosuke felt bad for quickly brushing it off and for not being there for him when it happened. "I don't think you're too thin, for the record...", he mumbled, "But then again... I've never really thought about what I like in a man...? I'm also not very picky with women I guess... ah... I mean... forget it." he was making an idiot of himself, didn't he?

"It's no stress.", Kosuke answered, trying to calm Gin down a bit. "I'm just not sure if I can do more than that." It wasn't even about money, the Yakuza liked to have their people in check and not have them run around god knew where. "Maybe I could borrow a car from one of my colleagues." That at least solved one problem. "I'm sure I can make it work." He wanted to, he wanted to make Gin happy and a small travel sounded very nice. He didn't get out of this city since he first came here. Gin grabbed the book Kosuke was reading at the moment. It was an old book about a detective solving crimes, nothing special, though at the same time it was a political book with a critical view on society. He always got books like that from the old couple. Maybe they did know what he worked as and that was a subtle hint, but he simply thought that the old man had been politically interested in his youth, or was still.

"This isn't about me.", he intervened. When had this started and why on earth was he the main focus of their project now? Gin felt bad, especially if that meant that Kosuke was just adhering to all of his wishes. "You should feel comfortable in your own four walls, and if you do, like, right now, then I don't want you to change anything.", Gin set straight. Why would he? There was no need for him to believe that he could be anything but a nuisance to this man, but at the same time, they were trying to get one another to like each other more, weren't they? Therefore, it was only right if they spoke about these types of things before they went south. However that would happen. Probably because they were a wholeass mess anyway. "Don't worry, I was just ... tuckered out yesterday and curious. You didn't hurt me, but truth be told, sometimes I just ask myself a few too many things.", he admitted. That, and also - sometimes, people just got to him, more than they should, as irritating as it was. "No, I can't forget that - so you're not picky? And my boney hips are fine?", he chuckled. Well, that was quite the relief, wasn't it?

"Are you sure?" For some reason, Gin didn't trust this type of peace for just a second, even when he was held so softly and close, without any indication of anything being wrong. In time, he figured, all would be alright and there was nothing to worry about, but if he were terribly honest, maybe that wasn't what was going to happen at all. Fate was a fickle thing, he'd learned that, and he could only giggle at it. "If you can't borrow it, I can pay for a rental ... who knows how much he values the car, and we'd be putting some mileage on that, you know? But I can reimburse him with some gas money.", he spoke with due diligence. A little trip, away from here, just out of Tokyo, for a day or two, that would be lovely - he'd arrange it, somehow, on his day off maybe, but that meant that Kosuke would have to miss a friday at the Yaseyumei and, for all intents and purposes, he guessed it'd be rather packed in there. What if he just pretended to be sick? Gin wondered, squeezed his hand and then set the book aside. That wasn't for him, not now. "Come to think of it ... you read complicated stuff like this but dropped out? You're pretty good, then - I thought you'd show me something ... more childish, or rather appropriate for your potential reading level, but this is pretty advanced, Ko-chan.", he teased him.

"Uhm... I feel comfortable almost everywhere. Especially now that I have a place of my own. When I grew up, my family was very poor and I always had to share a room and even my bed with my siblings. This is pretty luxurious where I come from... uh but you had lots of money, right? I guess this is nothing much where you come from.", he explained with a slight smile. When he was a kid he hated being around his siblings all the time. They had been loud or clung to him in their sleep and Kosuke was so glad when he came out of there. Now he viewed it differently. He missed his family. "Someone said something to you, right? You know... you can't make everyone happy. There are people who like it that way and people who like it another way. There is plenty options out here, you don't need to change for anybody." Maybe Kosuke shouldn't talk about things he didn't understand and things Gin didn't even think about right now. "Yeah... I suppose I'm not picky.", he then smiled. "You're not that thin anyway."

"Stop throwing your money around.", Kosuke suddenly let out, but still smiled. Gin was so adamant about paying for anything and Kosuke didn't quite understand why. He too wanted to get out of here and back to studying, right? Gin seemed to have more of a chance for a normal life and that wouldn't include Kosuke, but that was alright. His gaze shifted towards the book Gin read the cover text of. Was that a compliment or an insult? "I uh... well... as I said the shopkeeper downstairs gives them to me.", Kosuke mumbled and grabbed his phone to show Gin an app used to search for Kanjis he didn't know. He felt like a child in this moment, but he was one in some degree. Only because he dropped out didn't mean he stopped learning. If Gin were to open that book he'd find notes in Hiragana next to some words. Kosuke remembered the Kanjis after a while and he had read enough already, so there wasn't that many notes in this one.

"With your siblings? I had money, alright, and could have whatever I wanted, kind of - aside from a sibling. Somehow, it's almost melancholic if I think about it. My parents wanted a child that carried whatever legacy they had left for me, but instead, well, I took a nose-dive down into the dumps, with no support and no money. I always wanted a sibling, but in hindsight, better not.", he declared, as if anyone had asked his opinion for real. Why, though, were they communicating this way? It was easier to talk about pain, to share gripes and hurt with others, he figured, and Kosuke seemed to have the same idea. Gin couldn't blame him, they both were but puzzle pieces in a world that neither of them really fit into anymore, and yet, they were trying their utmost, weren't they? Pain came to them in the crudest of forms, he knew as much, and he knew that, in the end, even the comfort he shared with this young yakuza, right here and now, wouldn't it haunt him? "If you view it like that.", Gin looked up, right into Kosuke face. "No, no I can't. Everyone has preferences and not everyone can cater to everything. It happens. Kind of has to, you know? It's still a slap in the face, though." Did it hurt? Yes, at least to someone that lived a life as superficial as his; it hurt in its own way, even if he knew there was nothing he could change about that. Occurences like those just weren't as uncommon as some people believed. "Excuse you?", Gin laughed. "Compared to you, I'm a skeleton!"

"I'm not. You just don't give me any chance to pay.", Gin berated the older guy. It was the truth - and even then, even if this guy was his senior, his senpai, that didn't mean that Gin couldn't treat him to something fun as well, at least not once in a while. Sure, the two of them had little to no business with one another before their little stint, but, right now, weren't they bickering like a happy couple, old and forlorn in their long since iron ways of thinking. Would they ever stop? He couldn't say, but he was still holding onto Kosukes hand and squeezing it rather tightly, much like it was a lifeline that had been tossed at him - something that he needed, whether he wanted it or not. "Huh ... oh, that's useful! I know, Kanji sucks, sometimes, especially if you have to bend over backwards to get it. But ..." Gin went back and opened a random page of the book, somewhere where Kosuke had left off. "See! There's barely any notes, so you are quite the studious guy, huh? I'm sure you'll get an opportunity or two in the future to prove yourself further ... and for now ...", the redhead leaned his head onto Kosukes shoulder and yawned deeply, already tired again, it seemed. "Why don't I lend you some of my books?" Maybe Kosuke would profit from a subscription to an online reading service? Huh, but taking notes on a phone would suck ... hm. Gin had to come up with something.

"Yeah... my parents slept in the living room and there was only one other room left. We also didn't really have a bed, just some futons that filled the whole small room at night. My siblings tended to move a lot during their sleep so I usually ended up with a leg or an arm over me in the morning. It was fine when I was younger, but when I grew older, I wanted my space. Being offered an apartment all by myself was convincing enough for me to move here and well, that's how I got here and got my job and in addition a ton of debt.", Kosuke explained further, looking at Gin who shared his own story. "Your family doesn't want to help you get out of here?", he asked carefully. Many families abandoned their children, because they didn't want to be associated with their new life and the shame it brought. Even Kosukes family rather didn't know where his money came from or what he was doing and he didn't want to tell them either. Every now and then he sent them money, that was all. "You shouldn't take that to heart.", Kosukes smiled regarding comments on Gins looks, only to be laughed at. "That sounds like I'm fat... am I?", Kosuke asked. He thought he was in pretty good shape, but he also wasn't as brawly as some of his coworkers. In the end, they liked him in the club, because he looked pretty presentable, but could pack a punch too.

"I'm older, so I should be paying. Besides, you payed some things before.", Kosuke defended himself and was now watching Gin skimming through his book. He showed him a page, one close to where he left of. "Prove myself...? In my line of work it's not really necessary to be able to read... and I doubt they'd want me as something like their accountant.", he almost chuckled. There was no use in him having any kind of education. Sure, being able to read simple instructions was helpful, but what more did he need? He didn't even need to think for himself, he was just supposed to do whatever he was told. "I wouldn't mind some new books. I'll read them when I have the time.", he nodded in agreement. Reading was nice after work, he usually came home and when he wasn't completely beat, or couldn't find sleep right away, he read a page or two, before closing his eyes.

Gin furrowed his brows in confusion. He knew that there were less fortunate souls out there, that they always had been there and that he, of all people, wasn't someone that was in any position to judge them for what they did to make ends meet; he'd become one of them, at least in a way, and right about now, he should have realized that he still lived in relative luxury, at least compared to Kosuke, whom he seemed to bombard with questions and inquiries that the poor man had to spell out for him, like he'd be the ditzy and disagreeable heiress of a large corporation. "Mh, sorry for asking.", he retaliated, his mouth forming a thin line for a second and the fiery red brows scrunching up, then relaxing with a sigh. The two of them, weren't they silly? Worse yet, they kind of fit together, in their own way. "So they helped you on your own two feet, only to backstab you and bury you in a mountain of debt? Talk about a two-sided sword. I'm sorry about that.", Gin apologized and buried his nose in the book he was haphazardly skimming through, unsure of its contents; did Kosuke like stuff like that? Gosh, if yes, maybe he would do much better elsewhere, though, what would this guy even do? Whore himself out? What a silly idea. "F-fat? That's not what I sai- meant! You have a much more ... desirable and proper physique, alright? I wouldn't be surprised if others swooned over you!" Icky fashion sense aside.

"What? That ... that doesn't matter, really! I insist on paying, Kosuke, really." The redhead had more cash than this guy, he was sure - there was little he could do for himself in any way, and he knew that he had to be out of here sooner or later, but now, while he was here, he could use his wealth, or whatever he had left of that. Gin shook his head. "Back to what I was saying earlier. My family would rather abandon me than know what I'm up to these days; but I can care for myself, no need to worry about me. I can get myself out of there eventually, you'll see!", he boasted, though, was he really telling Kosuke that or just himself, in hopes of making it reality one day? Gin lived comfortably and didn't have to wrack his brain over the miniscule things in life if he continued living like that, and yet, he couldn't and wouldn't make do as someones tool. This had to end eventually. "To the others? No, to me, you ditz." A hearty giggle left his lips and he looked at the raven-haired gentleman as if he'd been starstruck, no, spellbound by his beauty. What attracted him to Kosuke, of all people? "I bet they pay their accountants better. But that's besides the point. I'll get you some books for next time ... when will that even be, actually?"

"Why are you apologizing?", Kosuke asked surprised and a bit confused. Everyone here had their stories and rarely did someone come from a wealthy family like Gin. Usually people talked over their past over one too many drinks and otherwise were silent, but Kosuke didn't mind sharing with the redhead. "That's how it goes for most of us. And nobody is collecting the debt, not from us really. It's a means of keeping us loyal and showing us where our place is. In fact, I could get out of this little apartment if I wanted to, I don't have any rates to pay as long as I keep coming to work and know my place, you know? Still... even though I don't even know what I would do instead, I want to have the option to leave at least... I think.", he explained, but really, he never learned any skills that would help him in another job unless he worked maybe for the police, but in that case he'd be a dead man anyway. Kosuke sighed and leaned back. "To be honest, if not for them I'd probably live on the street or try to steal, which isn't what I want." This was just how life was when growing up like he did, he wasn't special, Gin was. "Hm? I dunno... I wouldn't know."

Kosuke looked at the redhead again and shook his head. "It's fine.", he reiterated and Gin didn't need to spend a fortune on him. "I'm sorry. When you managed to get out, do you want to go back to them? They don't have to know what happened, right?" Family was important, wasn't it? Even though Kosuke had little to no contact to his own. He left his home, so they wouldn't run into him while he was working. "To you?", he suddenly asked, thought about it and then nodded. "Ah yeah... I mean I am sure you've read plenty of books already. I can hardly compete." Kosuke rubbed the back of his neck and smiled apologetically. "Well i I mess up at work it doesn't matter much, for an accountant however...", he mused then smiled again. "Well I can probably adjust my schedule to cater to yours, so... just tell me day and time and I'll make it work. Should we get going already...?" He took his phone to look at the clock, time surely flew by with Gin, even though they did nothing but talk all the time.