cursebound. (Earinor & Akira)

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    • "Yes. Someone like me shouldn't be around people.", he told the priest, looking nowhere in particular, but raising his gaze towards him soon after. "I don't mind that. Even before this curse I've been on my own. I am used to it." Betrayal was hard to bear and he rather didn't put his trust into anyone. He lowered his gaze again while he thought about it. Even without the curse it was easier to live by himself, without the constant fear of having placed his trust in the wrong people and without the fear of losing them one way or the other. All he lost so far was his own life in a sense and he didn't intend to figure out what it meant to lose someone else. "Then thank you for having me as a guest. I'd understand if you were to ask me to leave again." Not only because of the murderous curse. He'd been a bad person before and after that happened to him, he knew as much. For years he didn't question his profession and just did what his master wanted, or later, what he was paid to do. Taking a life meant as much as squishing an ant under his boot to him, but now he understood the value of life. Was the curse meant for this? Maybe. But why did others have to pay for his sins?

      This priest that accommodated for him, he was way too nice and Genji almost felt bad for not telling him the whole truth about himself. Maybe his attitude would change, but Genji needed help, even if he was a selfish person once more by staying quiet. He simply shook his head, brushing the priests concern off. It didn't matter what Genji thought, the priest would continue giving him food and clothes, disregarding any concerns anyone could have. "Just be careful with it...", he mumbled, looking at the stack o clothes with the bandages inside. Finally he stood up and took the bundle to pull a piece of the tainted fabric out. He also pulled the cover off one of the many pillows, to put the bandage inside and close it up like a bag. He handed it to the priest, so he was safe while carrying it to his own quarters, or wherever he needed it. Once the priest took it from him, Genji quickly stepped back again. "Mhm... It possesses thoughts and wishes it wants seen through...", he explained before sitting back down. He didn't know if he could truly rest up, even if he tried.
    • He was being ridiculous. Not once had Mikuni thought that he'd encounter someone like him, someone so obsessed with the principle of being alone, that he wanted to throw himself at him to make him overthink all he could. But alas, there was no reason to, and even worse, he couldn't act like he was just doing this out of goodwill. Being cursed was one thing, but worse, being alive was another. There were plenty of disagreeable humans in the monastery, but Genji wasn't one of them - his origins were something better left in the past, something he wouldn't pry for if it needn't be, but he also knew fully well that, at some point, he was going to hurt himself over something so ridiculous that it would have been better if he trusted humans in the first place. Silence came and went soon therafter, but Mikuni simply chuckled about it. That was one way to see things. "I won't, trust me. And if I do, I think I'd only do so because I wanted to come with you, at least down the mountain." It wasn't like he had anything else to do. For now, he laughed about it, quite hefty, and he was smiling like a toddler that had found a new toy, which he hadn't - this was fun, simply for the fact that Genji didn't seem like he hated him. He lacked knowledge.

      As he grabbed the linen fabric sack, he couldn't help but inspect it. There were no immediate blemishes on that thing, which was eventually why he simply smiled at it. Would that change? He had some water and probably dead skin to experiment with, as well as those soaked bandages - and a whole day ahead of him. Surely, he should pay his respects at the altar and give himself a little pat on the back, but not now. Coyly, he leaned against the door and inspected his little bundle. "I will be, thank you for your trust.", Mikuni answered. If this was anything to go of, Genji might be someone with a hard shell and a soft core, though, he wasn't so sure about the latter. Did his victims haunt him on a daily basis? If only he knew. Whatever the case, he wouldn't prod the issue and instead resolved to stay right where he was, occupied with what little thoughts he ought to have regarding Seimeis dismissal of their newcomer - of his curse, that would probably benefit nobody if left untreated. "Does it ever take full hold of your body? Push your own mind to the back and make you a passenger in your own flesh or something?", Mikuni wondered. Then, he shook his head. "I feel you, I really do. But I should take care of this first, before anyone else needs the bathroom. If you'll excuse me!"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "You are too nice and too trusting. You'll only get hurt if you stay around me...", Genji told the young priest. He knew nothing about him, but it seemed like he wanted more than this life here. Seeking Genjis help for that was wrong however. Death followed him around and somehow touched everyone he met one way or the other. He didn't intend to hurt anyone around here, but Genji knew, that if the curse wasn't lifted, he'd kill again. Maybe not in a few days, maybe not even weeks, but he would at some point. The priests laugh felt odd to Genji. It filled the whole room and the assassin wasn't used to laughter, not anymore at least. There had been times when he lived a quite normal life, one where he drank wine and ate because it tasted good and not because he had to. He even laughed back then, but not anymore. He didn't even remember how his own laughter sounded like. Even his voice sounded foreign to him, since it had been a while since he had used it.

      With the bundle in his hands the priest was ready to go and Genji was kind of glad to be able to not answer his last question for now. He nodded simply, the priest should get rid of the tainted water, he was right. Once he opened the door and closed it from the other side, Genji sighed in relieve. He was alone at last and nothing had happened. He lay down on his bed and his left hand found its way on his right shoulder. "No...", he mumbled as if a curse could listen, yet the pulsating feeling that had spread throughout the blackness on his skin grew lighter with the steps of the priest walking further away. He took some deep breaths and his hand clawed itself into the fabric of his robe. Slowly but surely the ringing in his ears stopped and his arm felt like his own again. Maybe now would be a good time to try and rest, maybe even sleep. He turned to the side and closed his eyes, hoping that he was tired enough to just fall asleep, without thoughts - his own and others - piercing his mind. As long as he was here, he couldn't do much but wait.
    • Like that, he whisked them away - he was gone before anyone knew it, and it would stay that way. Mikuni made a straight line to the bathroom and took a small sample, which he dumped in a bucket. The rest of the water sat there, wearing the color of coal, ever so still - hauntingly beautiful. For now, nobody should venture in here, though, Mikuni was sure that it wouldn't help if he locked the doors or explained his reasoning if they caught him - it would only lead to more questions and to Genji being thrown out, for potentially leaving behind harmless pigment. All things considered, he wandered away, back to his room; it was crummy, narrow and somewhat dusty. There was a tall window, one that barely opened if he tried, and yet it sat there, taunting him with anything it could, as soon as he sat himself down at the little table that he had in his room - he grabbed the potted camellia he kept in here, and before long, fed her dry soil the water from the bathtub; nothing happened, not for now, even as he intendly stared at it, hoping to detect a change. Nothing happened. He placed the plant back where it belonged. What was he even expecting? Some immediate changes?

      Mikuni had better things to do; he reminded himself of that, and yet failed to adhere to them. He sat there, in silence, and watched the birds that clung to the skies, the clouds that drifted from one place to the other, and the sun, as long as it was bearable to give it a good look. Soon enough, he got back up, leaving the bandages on the table - he was going to get Genji new ones, however long that would take, and he'd do it before he forgot to - he brushed past his fellow priests, past their chambers and made his way into their hospital wing. All they needed was here, but even then, there was only so much he could take. "Mikuni-no-Homare." A giant shadow was casting his gaze upon his neck. He froze. "Yes?", his lips were dry, and thus was his throat. "What are you doing?" Was everyone in here going to rip him to shreds for trying to help some longer guy, up there, in a stone tower, like an outcast? He grabbed a fistful of bandages and some herbs. Those were simple remedies, they wouldn't help with the curse. "Helping someone in need, what else does it look like?", he sighed and crossed the shadows path. These guys were unbelievable. "The goddess is too sacred to care for outsiders. Let someone else do it, someone with actual experience.", he bossed. "No. I'm not the goddess, I'm just blessed by her. And now leave me be." Mikuni tired of these conversations, and still, he carried on, past all of them, back up to the guest wing. He softly knocked on the door. "Genji? I brought bandages." It was already getting late, wasn't it?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Genji didn't really know what to do with himself. He couldn't sleep, not when he heard people all over this place. Not here or close but he heard them through the window. Maybe his senses were heightened and changed, because of the curse most likely, or maybe he was just afraid and those voices weren't really here to taunt him. He knew how many people were all around him right now. They were like prey and he was the hunter, even though he didn't want to hunt. A wolf would always be a wolf and he was no different. He peered towards the door as if he had to check if the door was still closed. He felt whatever was brooding inside him was happy, happy to not be away from other humand anymore and happy to have some pray around every corner. For now it seemed content with it and didn't try to coax Genji to do anything. At least it seemed unuspecting of that Genji was trying to accomplish here, but maybe it also knew that those people couldn't help him. If that was the case, maybe all of them were in grave danger...

      Time went by and the light that shone through the colored glass changed. Eventually there were steps and then a knock on his door. Genji knew who it was, it had to be the young priest. He slowly stood up from his bed and walked towards the wooden door. The priests voice rang through it. Genji sighed, when he put his hand on the door handle, took a moment and only then opened the door slowly and not fully. He looked outside in the hallway to see the familiar face of the priest. He stretched out his left hand to take the bandages he had brought. "Thanks...", he mumbled, already ready to close the door again, but the priest still stood there. "Anything else...?", he asked him. Maybe more questions about the curse? Genji wasn't sure if he was able to answer them, or if he truly should. If the priests knew how many people he truly killed, they'd send him away the next moment.
    • Incessant was her laughter at the back of his head, and annoying the teasing chuckles that followed - sometimes, only sometimes, he felt like he could hear her, from somewhere out in the stratosphere or the broken skies, the islands of dragons and gods, or wherever her immortal soul resided. She was close, yet so far, but even then, that made her a goddess, there was no doubt about it - Mikuni and her didn't share a body, they shared a blessing, and a link to each others mind, but even then, only one of them was real and the other an emphemereal being of broken light, reflected onto countless surfaces, with a voice that was given to her by singing birds. "No need to.", he spoke, as his eye feasted on the creature that was allowing itself to open the door, and yet, was stuck within its own four walls. There was no smile he could muster, no word he could say to soothe a broken soul, but he could look at him with gentle eyes and hope that, however his life would turn out after making it here, it would be a good one - to him, his own could be different, or the same; surrendering to fate was an option he had, but he didn't want to take it.

      "Anything else? I think it's obsolete to ask you if you are lonely.", he chuckled. That he was, even if he didn't want to admit it - and he knew it for a fact. In reality, he could hardly tell if this little bird of his - he decided that Genji was one - would take flight, out of that window, if he just let him be. After all, what was he to do when he injured himself on his way down the mountain? Regrouping and licking his wounds was hardly an option that was available to him. In the end, little did it matter, what they did from here on out. Mikuni tried to smile at him, for both of their sakes. "Would you like some alone time, or am I allowed to come in? It's always good to have company, but I'm accepting if you'd rather rest for today and embrace the hardships of tomorrow after sufficient sleep." And that, he meant, with all his heart. Genji owed him nothing, and while Mikuni was a naturally curious person, he knew when to set boundaries; when he voice in the back of his head told him to leave it be already, to shut up and move on from it all. His foot was already in the door. "Thirsty? Hungry? Anything else maybe?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • The priest looked at Genji like he was something special, which he probably was, in the worst possible way. He didn't know what to think of that. he didn't sense anything evil from this person, he just seemed a bit childish and too curious for his own sake. He was probably also caring, if Genjis fate truly interested him. The priest chuckled and Genji didn't quite know what to think of it. The boy asked what Genji wanted, but still he already was halfway through the door. It wasn't like Genji couldn't keep him from entering, but he also didn't want to hurt him, or be ungrateful for the hospitality he already received. "I'm not used to so many people around me...", he mumbled with a short sigh. It was kind of exhausting, even though no one bothered him up here in his solitary cell. He heard them sometimes though and he knew they were here. He'd seen plenty of people in these halls when he followed the priest around. He rather stayed in here all by himself, even if he was locked up eventually.

      The priest seemed to want his company, or maybe he was just polite, but either way, it was dangerous for him to come too close. Genji slowly shook his head, yet there was actually some questions he had. "If I were thirsty, where would I find water? I can bring it up here myself if I know where it is and what I can use...", he asked the man in front of his door. He didn't need something now and the priest didn't have to bring everything to him, he could get things by himself, unless his presence was frowned upon. He'd go at night then, when everybody was asleep and he would meet no one. But there was something else. This room was nice, but empty and Genji didn't always want to be alone with his thoughts. He knew, if he just lay there on his bed, he had too much time to think and the curse would intrude those thoughts sooner rather than later. "I have one request.", he told the man hesitently, as if it was too much to ask. Maybe it was. "Do you have a book I could borrow? It doesn't matter what kind."
    • Times changed. People did, too. Happiness was a fleeting emotion and childhood but a part of ones life - much like certain people. Eventually, Genji would be cured, even if it weren’t here, but he still had stories to share that someone like Mikuni, who’d only lived the most stagnant of lives, wanted to hear. Someone would eventually try to cut him some slack, yes, and he’d be hellbent on finding out what lay beyond the mountain, but maybe it was better he wouldn’t wait for so long - he had plenty of difficult days ahead of him and a headache that was brewing at the back of his mind accompanied him, too. It was throbbing and thumbing, roaring and thundering in his little pea brain, now that he was forced to think outside the parameters of reality for once. “I doubt you’d want to change that?”, he wondered. Plenty of questions came to mind, but all of them were rather unpleasant or needlessly rude - they where about when’s and why’s, about past mishaps and future loss of control. For now, he had no other choice but to sigh gleefully at the thought alone - this world was full of pests that he couldn’t comprehend, and yet, Genji wasn’t one of them. It almost felt like … he was much more similar to him than anyone. “Either way, we all are different. I shouldn’t be so demanding of you, I’m sorry.”

      Not only that - he was overbearing. Much like a childless aunt would be; much like he imagined his real father to be. In reality, he knew neither of those people well enough, but he was herding Genji - someone who claimed to be much older than him - into a corner and sheltering him, babying him; keeping him away from any and all potential harm, by simply locking him away. How was that fair? Mikuni sighed. He was overdoing it. Without another word he pulled his foot away and leaned against the frame, eyeing the stranger from the crack that he barely was visible through. “The cistern, if you want. If that’s too far of a journey, you can get some from the fountain in the courtyard, but it’s not always the best. Or freshest.”, the priest lamented and crossed his arms in front of his chest. For now, he thought, and then again, he had a much different realization as he was going through all there was in his stuffy head. Who had time for all those thoughts? They were a waste of time - he had other things to get to, and yet, the selflessness that dominated his life and the bitter ending to all those heroic stories he’d read didn’t do him any good. Mikuni wanted to be different. “Huh?”, he looked up, somewhat spooked, before his brain could fully process the request. “Any book? I can get you one from the library … right now?”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "I can't...", Genji was quick to answer, quicker than he usually was. Normally he took his time when he spoke, at this stage in life at least. He carefully worded everything and maybe he also was out of practice when it came to speaking to others. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be around people, but he doubted that he was cut out for a whole lot of human interaction after he lived years in solitude. Before all of this happened he'd been around people, plenty of them, but it didn't mean anything. He simply wasn't the type, he never had been, but now it was set in stone anyway. Whatever it was that lived inside him woke up whenever Genji was close to people. When he could hear, see or smell them, it was enough to have this voice in the back of his head that told him what he needed to do. it wasn't an actualy voice, no words were spoken, but he still felt like someone was nagging and trying to convince him of what to do. Even now he felt it, but he had it under control. It was tiring though, but most of all it was scary. Genji didn't want to hurt this man.

      He shook his head when the man tried to apologize. There was no need, he was one of a million people that treated Genji with kindness. That he was oddly curious didn't offend Genji, nothing did. He told him about the cistern and a fountain, either was fine for him. "Thank you.", he told him, thanked him for the information and he'd find a cup or something in here probably. He'd get something later, when the monastery calmed down and everyone went to sleep. The following question seemed to startle the priest however and Genji couldn't discern why. "It's not urgent. Whenever you have time.", Genji answered softly. It was a genuine request, not one he posed because he wanted the priest to go away. It didn't seem like he wanted to do that anyway and Genji felt a bit awkward with silence suddenly spreading between them. "Do you have more questions about the curse...?", he asked while he was a bit at a loss here. He didn't know what the priest wanted.
    • Silence like this was awkward. He couldn't help it; he was trying his best, and yet, he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if somebody like Genji was more talkactive - more hellbent on getting revenge on those who cursed him in the first place; and still, he was nobody that should insert himself in stories like this, knowing that he would be of no use for Genji as well. What would he do? Hunt down every last person that had ever wronged him or that newfound acquaintance of his? Now, Mikuni was being ridiculous - Genji would find revenge for his own curses by his lonesome, Mikuni just knew he would, and he'd continue to serve the goddess until the very end, as fate willed it. "Still afraid you'll hurt somebody?", he asked. Very much so, probably. Not only were they both trying their best in their own ways, they'd both just not be a great match for each other, he was sure. He wanted to help, to understand, and then he wanted to leave and finally help himself, wanted to be selfish, and then, eventually retire at some point - he didn't need no grand adventure, multiple small ones were plenty fine!

      "Or is it something else?", he inquired, less cocky this time. Of course Genji was afraid of hurting others, as stupid as it sounded - it was, without a doubt. Was a former assassin capable of caring that much? He wasn't so sure; he wanted to give it a try himself, that life of his, but there was no need to infect himself with a sentient curse, especially when he already had something that pestered him his entire life. Silence befell them first, and Mikuni swallowed, as he thought of things he could do - slipping away would be the easiest, though, the book was not an urgent matter. He swallowed. This wasn't going as planned - he should be talking more. "Does it hurt? Was it your ... change of heart? Or did you already stop killing before?", he wondered. Then, a few more ideas cropped up in his head. If it was sentient, was it a curse or a fungus? If it hurt, was it truly incurable? Would it help to cut it open? There were many more things that suddenly floated his head, but his gaze remained steadfast. Suddenly, he seemed to have the worst of revelations. "Have you tried ... cutting the affected tissue off? Or up? Is the flesh also affected?" Seimei should be doing this, not him, but in the end, he prefered to be in charge anyway. Like this, he could finally do what he wanted.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • The priest knew what was up and yet he asked over and over again as if he couldn't stand the idea of someone being alone. Alone was good though, Genji didn't want to fight all the time, but he always found back to humans somehow. If someone would just lock him up, maybe that would be for the best, if this place couldn't help him, maybe he'd ask for that instead. A cell, some food, water, that is all he needed and he'd stay in there to never hurt anyone again. "I know I'm going to... if you can't help me...", Genji answered and only realized afterwards that his words sounded like a threat. "I-I I mean..." He didn't know how to explain himself, not without spilling more than he intended to. "I can't control it forever...", he tried to explain. "I never can..." The last part was more mumbled to himself and he averted his gaze. They were right being scared of him, why was this priest not? Why was he so hellbent on spending time with Genji? Or was it just the fact that he sensed Genji hadn''t told him everything yet?

      And then the questions poured out of the young man, one after the other. Genji couldn't even answer and eventually, when the priest stopped talking, he sighed in resignation and opened the door fully. "Why don't you come in?", he asked, stepping to the side to make room. After the priest stepped inside, Genji closed the door again, but stayed where he was, away from the priest. "Please sit.", he offered while he himself wanted to stay where he was, with some meters inbetween them. He leaned against the wall next to the door and crossed his arms, his fingers running over the fabric that covered his upper arms. "Sometimes it hurts, when it tries to gain control.", he answered the first question. "I killed for money... countless people. The curse was satisfied by that. It only started showing when I stopped, that is why I didn't notice it sooner. It vanishes when I... take a life..." Genji looked to the side, to somwhere else, just not at the priest. He focused on the colorful window instead. "Maybe I tried cutting it off before, I... it seems that way, but I can't remember..."
    • Badgering questions, ones that kept coming and haunting him, that he uttered when he felt it was right, but in the end, there was no way to know for sure - maybe they weren't, but obviously they struck a nerve, and almost like that, he sighed in exasperation as he finally was allowed inside. Did he even want that? Entering the lions den was an almost critical decision, yet, what other choices did he have? None, absolutely zero, zilch, and then again, he didn't want to disappoint the only person that gave him something akin to a chance - someone that tried to make him understand his ailment. It was silent for a good while, as he tried to stomach the reality of things, like the weird threat he'd just received. He would kill again, no matter what happened, wasn't that what he wanted to say? "What if you sit out a round of murderous rampage? Like, if you, I don't know, am forced to sit and listen, or rather that thing - your curse - has to? Or would you just never regain control of yourself?" Thousands of questions had taken ahold of his brain and were shushing him simultaneously. Mikuni wanted answers, and yet he doubted that Genji was able to satisfy him in any way that mattered. They both needed to know more.

      As he was offered a place to sit, he took it, and expectandly stared at the man that had invited him into his chambers, who leaned against the cool walls of natural stone, seeking comfort elsewhere. Mikuni wasn't sure if he should avert his gaze or if he was simply encouraged to look, and yet, whatever the case, he kept on staring like it was the only thing he knew how to do. Wasn't that almost sad? Bewildering, maybe? Silence, then nothing ... and after that, the words poured out of the strangers mouth. "Is it more of a throbbing or pulsating pain? Does it reach beyond the marked spots? Heart, brain?", he inquired. Maybe he should have taken something to write with him, to document this foreign ailment and keep its knowledge for later generations of priests who might have to deal with the same things, but ... he didn't feel inclined to, not one bit. That much was for sure. Still, he smiled and seemed to be in a good mood in general, now that even Genji felt confident in spilling the beans - his story was awful, but Mikuni wouldn't be deterred by it. "Would you mind if someone took a blood sample?", he wondered. A tissue sample would be the same, but ... maybe it had its own properties and carried the curse as well? Mikuni pulled his legs up and placed his chin on his knees, with his arms around his legs to keep them in place. His eye still rested on Genji. "What if you killed something that was truly immortal? Would that satisfy your need to kill, still? Even if nothing dies?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Genji doubted anyone here could help him more and more, especially since it was a young priest that asked questions about it and not the experienced ones. Father Seimei asked two or three questions, then he took a book, almost like a cover, even before Genji was reveiling that he had killed before. "I tried locking myself up... I tried going far away, where no one lived... at some point it makes me give up. I can't fight it anymore and when I close my eyes for just a moment... I've woken up somwhere else... somewhen else." And he knew what had happened, what he did. He didn't know how long or how many, but it did happend, even though he wasn't sure why the curse let him free again. Locking him up didn't work, not forever and what happened when he lost control, Genji didn't know. If he killed someone himself at least he could pick who and how... murderers, thiefes, people who were already dying anyway... that was much better than a child, or a mother, but mayb he was just telling himself that.

      Genji looked up almost confused when the priest asked another question, as if he had forgotten that he was having a talk with someone in the first place. He furrowed his brows and his shoulder twitched while thinking about his answer. He rolled his neck a bit as if it suddenly got stiff. "It's pulsating when I'm near people, twitching almost. Sometimes it feels like insects are crawling under my skin. When it tries to take over, holding back and moving in the other direction can hurt. A strained pain, like working your muscle too hard. It grows further than this. It has before. It reaches for my whole arm, then the other and my leg... it grows up my neck too.", he told the priest. Genji looked up as if he wasnt sure the priest was serious, then he rolled his shoulder once more, looking away again. "If it helps...", he answered and wondered what became of the world, that priests did something like that. "I don't want to try. Animals don't work. Demons maybe, but... I don't think who I kill is simply dead..."
    • They had all lost their minds. Maybe Seimei was indeed better equipped to deal with a squabble like this, with something that he had no idea about, but alas, Mikuni was naturally curious and hellbent on understanding this ailment that, while it didn't plague himself, was at least coming for a man that had little to no ways of curing himself. If he had tried all there was available to him, surely, Mikuni would be able to find something, anything, to deal with it - as crass as his methods were, he didn't want to confine himself to a priests repertoire of things, especially when he knew that it would lead nowhere helpful. How many cursed people had they actually healed in the past few years? Zero? That sounded about right. And those who would tell on them, Seimei put away elsewhere, as a sacrifice, or so he'd been told by the annoying voice in the back of his head. Was she even helpful? Mikuni couldn't tell. "So it's really like you're sharing your body with a foreign entity that lusts for something, and as long as you are willing to provide, it's satisfied and doesn't try to wrangle for control of your body. But the longer you don't kill, the more aggravated it gets and the easier it is to make you forfeit control ... that's a though one.", he mumbled.

      Now he had information that helped somewhat, about the pain and the feelings, the eventual surrendering of ones mind, and the unacceptable way that this all was going down. For some weird reason, though, he wasn't scared, but at the same time, what was he to be scared about? After all, he was already taking a gamble with whatever it was that he was doing like this - he wasn't helping anyone if he kept badgering this poor, lost soul with incessant questions. His mouth felt dry. "No further than your neck?", he wondered aloud. Was he to ask for every little detail? It seemed so, and yet, he wouldn't mind - he had enough time, and even with the sun wanning on the horizon, he wasn't scared one bit. Why should he go back to his room when there was someone much more important here? "I'm ... not sure if it helps. And I'd be frowned upon by the rest of the monastery, I'm sure. It was a mere suggestion, and I'm sure you've already gone to a regular doctor for your ailments, who probably chased you away the moment he thought of it as a contagious curse. This isn't easy, but I'm trying my best.", Mikuni confessed and then got up from where he sat. This was no use, he was clearly not helping Genji in any way. "You mean the curse infects them?" Now, he was even more curious. Could an annoying goddess be corrupted by such a thing? Mikuni wouldn't know, but on the other hand, he also didn't know if he himself was to raise his voice like that, in suggestion of unholy practices. "If no man or animal suffices ... what else could? A god?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • The priest summarized the situation as it seemed, though he still didn't know everything. Genji wasn't sure if it helped though, if he knew what kind of curse it was, he'd know by now, but that didnt seem to be the case. How would they cure something that they didn't know? Genji was doomed, wasn't he? He'd continue to wander the arth as a monster, something like death itself, or even worse, because he caught the souls of those he killed. He doubted there was an afterlife for them, or for him. Even locking himself up didn't work. Eventually he'd need food, or else... He just couldn't risk dying, whatever he did. "You can't heal me, cn you?", he summarized himself. "Not you, not father Seimei" Wasn't it so? Nothing would save him, nor would it save those who crossed his path at the wrong time. Genji cleared his throat. Maybe it was better he left right away, before something happened. For now he had that thing under control, but for how long? He was putting everyone here in danger.

      "Further too... I suppose...", he answered, but he didn't exactly have a mirror with him all the time, especially not when he tried to lock himself in a dark tower, to stop killing. It would be best someone else locked him up, but who could he trust to still keep him alive when he turned into a monster? Death was never an option and thus he was all alone. "I don't think it is contagious... I never saw anyone else with it, in all those years...", he told the priest. "Doctors said it's a curse... not their expertice, if they talked to me, but that was a long time ago..." When it started, maybe medicine changed, but he also thought priests knew more about curses. Doctors were there to treat wounds. "I appreciate your effort, but it is probably in vain...", he mumbled and it was alright. The young priest stood up suddenly and Genji didn't know why. Maybe he had heard enough and wanted to leave? "Infects...? I'm... not sure... their... bodies are normal, I suppose. I'm not just killing them though... it feels more like I'm... collecting them.", he tried to explain, suddenly looking at the closed door. "Did you hear that?", he asked. He thought he heard something drop to the floor. He waited a few moments, before turning to the priest again. "Suffice...? For it to go away forever? No death will make it stop."
    • What? Now, Genji was acting like he'd been offended by whatever he'd said. Was it too much? Had he asked the wrong questions? Mikuni wasn't sure, and yet, his lips formed a thin line and his throat was much more dry than before. Exasperated, he sighed - he let his head hang for a good minute, had his shoulders slouched and his mind occupied. If he had fucked up, would Genji book it out of here? Surely. That meant, he'd never hear stories of what it was like to be able to go where one wanted, or what it would be like to not live out the remainder of his life as a priest - Mikuni wasn't stuck here, he could leave if he wished to, but he wanted to know more about the harshness of the world out there before he felled a decision he might regret eventually. "Me? No.", he admitted, averting his gaze as he stood upright again. His neck hurt, or so he thought, and he put his warm hand against it while he pulled a face that clearly said 'you caught me' without much of a change in his demeanor. "As for Father Seimei, I don't know. He tries his earnest, I'm sure, but I'm rather unexperienced. I want to learn too, you know? I just want to help you, if you'd let me - I won't try anything crazy.", he promised as he looked up again. Somehow, Genji seemed exhausted from all the talking, too.

      "Hm.", Mikuni simpled mouthed and then shaked his head. Was this guy just completely lost and pulling every last stop he could, so that maybe something would cure him? He wasn't so sure. Right about now, there wasn't much he could do, but even then, he could at the very least try, right? Nobody would judge him for doing his best (they always did), which meant he'd not be judged for just trying (he would), even if it wound up as a complete failure. "It will be in vain if you believe that it will be. Please, let me give it a try! I can bring you to the library if you would like to take a look at all those books yourself - one of them is bound to have something, you can't be the first to carry an ailment like this. Other people have killed before, maybe even more than you.", he proposed. Now, that sounded sort of pathetic, did it not? What purpose would it serve if he just begged a guy like that to let him heal him? Nothing. Like the wind, he'd be gone in a few days, cured or not - Mikuni froze in place soon enough. There was nothing, maybe the wind knocking against the window, but definetly no noise. "Huh? What? No. Did you hear something?" An assassin probably had better hearing than him. "We should go take a look.", he proposed, making a beeline for the door and opening it just a smidge, to peek outside. "There's ... nothing.", he told Genji. What did he even hear? Mikuni cleared his throat. "Then what about doing the opposite of killing someone?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Genji looked at the young priest who defended his superior, but the assassin was able to look through that. Maybe he believed Father Seimei was able to heal him, maybe he even blindly trusted him, but Genji saw the effort he put in and frankly, it hadn't been much. "I don't think he wants to help me. I saw how his attitude changed once I told him I killed before. He's not the one asking me questions about that curse and I assume, to find a cure, he would need to.", he told the young priest, but it seemed whatever was the case, he'd stand behind his superior and that was only right for him. "I don't seek help for myself... I don't want anyone else to die by my hand. That is why I am here." Of course it benefitted him, but that wasn't the point. If someone refused to help him, he'd refuse helping all the future victims as well. Genji tried to be the best self he could, to not be sent away and finally find help, but he couldn't lie about his curse completely, if he wanted them to help him. Genji bit his lower lip and tried to get his thoughts under control. "I'd understand if you too didn't want to anymore..."

      Genji looked up again, almost spooked. "The library? No... no no no..." He shook his head. "I shouldn't go there. If there is a book about this curse, you will probably find it..." But he doubted there was. If he was the only one for... however many years that had it, why would there be books about it? Another thing he doubted was that any man killed more than he did. This priest still didn't see the whole picture, Genji didn't even remember how long he'd been alive. Suddenly the young man walked towards the door and Genji slipped away a bit, rubbing his right arm. he shot a quick glance outside, but from this angle he didn't see much. "It doesn't matter...", he mumbled, unsure if he just imagined that noise. Even if someone was listening in though, what was the point in hiding, if they'd force him to leave anyway. "Opposite? I can't follow..."
    • "I ... well, yes ...", he admitted, sounding defeated about it. That old geezer was no good in any way, he knew as much, and yet, he was bound to somewhat defend him - Father Seimei had never ridiculed him, only chastised him, and while some of his fellow priests were much worse, he knew that he could expect the higher-ups to have his back. Eventually. At some point. If Seimei cared, he clearly wouldn't want him here though, and all of a sudden, he doubted this old man even more. Mikuni sighed, then looked back at the assassin they'd all let into their house and homes, giving him a slight smile - something he didn't seem to be capable of himself. "So you're being selfless, in a way.", he concluded. Maybe, he'd fit right in with the rest of the priests; though, they were far from the picture book version of them, though, maybe the winds of change would reach even this stupid place in a few years - they all were deserving of peace and change. Still, he could only swallow the excess saliva that was forming in his mouth as his thoughts ran rampant and the connection he had to the goddess muddled everything up yet again. Why couldn't she keep those stupid thoughts to herself? They'd poison and influence him. Mikuni grabbed Genjis hand. "I want to. I don't see a reason why you wouldn't be deserving of peace and change."

      Many people killed - sometimes it wasn't even people, sometimes it was monsters in the hide of an animal, or the skin of a dying man, but that didn't change a thing. Genjis very soul ought to be plagued by what he had learned from his own life, and the curse itself was probably a manifestation of one too many things. "Huh? Why not? It should be empty around this time, if you're fearful of injuring one of my ... brothers.", he spoke with slight disdain of them, but let go of Genjis hand soon enough. "I'm sorry, that was hardly appropriate." It was something he'd done because he felt like he should, not because he knew that it would help. Who knew? Maybe he'd become the next target of the curse, only for this little vermin of a living being - if one could call a sentient rune that - to realize, that he was very much like holy ground nobody should tread on, all thanks to the blessing of an even uglier vermin that had once been mortal, before ascending to another plane of existence. "Are you sure?" If he wasn't, they could still take a look. Mikuni cleared his throat and looked downward, then up again - there was no shadow beyond that door of theirs, which was why he closed it hastily. There could be one. "Do a good deed. Help them. Soothe a forgotten soul. Exorcise someones demons.", the priest elaborated. "You can't know if you haven't tried."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "It's okay...", Genji simply replied. It wasn't this priests fault if the others, the more experienced ones didn't want to help Genji. Before this all happened to him, he'd boast about how many people he killed... at least he thought he did. Sometimes his memories simply faded, even though he just had them in his grasp a few moments earlier. An emotionless killer was who he was and now he couldn't bear killing anymore, yet had to do it over and over again. He looked at the window while he tried to follow his own thoughts and memories to a time before all went down hill. He couldn't even picture himself as being content and happy with his life. A whole lot of time passed where he was nothing but a tool, but after his master died it changed and if he remembered correctly, he turned into an even worse person. His gaze slowly moved halfway back to the priest, but instead of looking at him, he looked at the floor below his feet. "Maybe I'm not and this is why I can't get rid of the curse...", he pondered. He felt awful, so of course he knew he'd feel better if the curse was lifted, therefor he didn't do everything only for others. Additionally, maybe if he didn't give in so easily, more peoples life would have been saved, but the tim before he arrived here was... he couldn't quite remember how long the curse had taken over.

      Suddenly the priest came closer and before Genji knew it, he had taken ahold of the blondes hand. He looked at him spooked, puzzled and confused. What was he thinking just touching him like that? He didn't want to hurt this man by pulling his hand out of his grip, or b doing something else rash. "I should stay here...", he muttered and finally was let go of, only to quickly take another step back. His right arm and shoulder twitched and it felt like whatever lived in the dark void was twisting and turning like a snake, trying to get out of a sling, so it could jump towards his prey. His left hand held onto his arm as if he had to keep the snake contained, or it would break out of his skin and he also felt like the curse was stretching out, making a bit of visible progress on his skin and flesh. Besides the time the priest touched the dark skin before, when was the last time someone did actually touch Genji himself? Years over decades over... He'd forgotten about the noise he heard and even if someone was listening in, father Seimei probably already decided to send Genji away again. "I saved someones life once...", he suddenly remembered, then shook his head. "Maybe you should go..."
    • "But is it really?" In this world, nobody could take anything for granted. Mikuni wouldn't take Genjis company for granted, he wouldn't accept that the other priests would have to like him, simply because he was the child of a goddess, or rather her flesh incarnated, but he also had to realize that, while he couldn't take everything as a given, he didn't have to endure it all, either. A smile, striking and yet somewhat sad, reached his lips but not his eyes - he couldn't command anyone to do his bidding, could only beg and pray, but he'd do his utmost to get this man the help he needed. "If you weren't, the Goddess would have turned you away. The Lunar Temple wouldn't have allowed you within its hallowed walls.", he blurted out. No, she wouldn't even allow him to physically be here, but then, why did she forgive Genji? She couldn't possibly know him; he claimed to be old, and yet looked like a youngster, more in line with those who had recently finished their first theological studies. There was no way of knowing and someone like him shouldn't and wouldn't pry. Silence was all he was capable of producing, even if he felt an itch in the palm of his hand; the urge to reach out again and embrace Genji, who clearly had his own curse to deal with.

      No more touching. Why would they? It was improper and from the reaction, based on the fact that those nails were digging into that cursed, hidden skin, Mikuni already knew that something was ailing him - hurting him from inside, and yet, Genji was a prisoner in his own body, unable to deny whatever kind of being it was, control. If he'd attack him? If he'd survive? Mikuni could hardly tell, but he knew it needed but one precise cut, hit or touch and he'd have breathed his last. Sad, that was what it was. "Should I lock you inside for the night? I'll bring you food and water first, if you'd like." And then, he'd be stuck in here, unable to leave, unable to hurt anyone, unless he tore the door from its hinges or forced himself through that window, impossibly high up in the sky, much like a tower intended for prisoners, instead of an underground cell, damp and moldy. "Sorry for ... putting my hand on you like that. Does it hurt a lot?" An answer was all he needed. He'd get it eventually, he was sure of that, but right now, he'd much rather not feel up any of those touchy subjects. There was nobody shuffling around outside the door, nobody that was going to grab ahold of him when he left - he simply strutted closer to the door, grabbing the handle. "You're right. I'll leave you be for tonight. Sleep well, Genji."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.