cursebound. (Earinor & Akira)

"Yes of course.", Genji replied somewhat surprised. "Has it been different when you knew me?" Maybe so, after all, according to Otoha, he killed frequently and thus the course most likely didn't get much of a hold of him. If it lay dormant most of the time, there was nothing much to talk about, but it was different now. That it was developing was questionable though, Genji didn't believe it did and he hoped it wouldn't. In a sense Mikuni and Genji were quite alike, both possessed by immortal beings though Genji wasn't sure if calling the curse a being was the correct term. "It has always been a bundle of emotions... or maybe that is the wrong term. It is driven by instinct, like an animal and I can feel what it wants. Food mostly, but it also wants to survive. If it were conscious, I'd probably have died and set it free by now." He reaped enough souls, probably, the curse could just leave him vulnerable in the worst possible times, but it didn't, it didn't work like that. Once it started killing it didn't stop until Genji managed to break free, or no one else was left.

"Mikuni does not seem like he had an easy life up until I came either... he was unhappy there. You... you might be underestimating him...", Genji suggested carefully, as if disagreeing with Otoha was something he shouldn't be doing. While he looked at her before, he now turned his back again and kept walking through some bushes and eventually larger and larger trees. The forest ground was dry, which was good. If anyone was following them, they'd not have an easy time finding any footprints here. "I doubt we'd end up at the same place after our death... but you are a goddess. You know better than me." If he were to die anyway that was. Otoha wanted him to and she didn't care about the countless life his death would cost. Had she always been like this? So much disregard for human life? Or did that come with divine power and an immortal life? Genji looked up when Otoha started laughing. She didn't have a high opinion about her vessel, did she? Genji held another branch and watched her pass it, before letting go and trailing after her now. "Should I...?" Probably not anytime soon. He muscles would ache from their journey, Genji doubted he had strength to spare for training.

"Not entirely, but back then, you were ... well. You know, you weren't who you are now.", she admitted, and she knew what she was talking about. Genji was the man she loved, for better or for worse the one that she'd always come back to and it wasn't a stretch if she claimed to be a bit more than just enamored by his ideas. At least she had been, at times when she had been younger and much more naive, those had changed, however, and she had realized just how fucked up her very own life had to be if she prefered a murderer over a genuinely sweet, seemingly naive guy that barely could fight the burden he was saddled with. "Don't be so sure of that. We all get cursed for reasons, be it because we kill, or slander, or maybe even because we are found at the wrong time in the wrong place. It happens, to the best of us, and sometimes the world just isn't fair. Hell, I doubt it aims to be fair half of the time, but I can't answer that truthfully. Either way, remember one thing, Genji: Happiness finds those who seek it, sooner than later.", she waffled on with a shrug of her shoulders, almost as if the definitive question in her life wasn't about whatever or not she still saw Genji as a living, breathing being, but rather, why in the world she had only herself to blame for his inevitable downfall. What was going to happen from here on out?

"He's like a little kid - he can't appreciate what he has because he doesn't know the full picture. Sure, he had a different life, and yes, Seimei clawed him from his father, but you have to admit, if my vessel would have stayed where it was, someone would have killed him in his infancy. I'm not underestimating him, though - he's just being silly. This is too big of a step for him, I'm guessing - he doesn't want to come out at all.", Otoha sighed as she trailed after Genji, into the unknown, where the trees grew older and taller, until their branches felt like they were woven into one another and the sun couldn't reach the ground anymore - dried leaves covered it, year round, and as they pranced on, she wondered if she'd ever been here before, or if it was just another forest without a name or reason for being. "I'm divine, and who says you can't be, too? However, first, that curse ... we can't have it plaguing you, not in life, not in death." It had to disappear, had to let them both be - as soon as it was out of sight, out of mind, neither of them would have anything to fear; the two of them could enjoy their life for a good while and then, they could destroy one another - it would be the sweetest of retributions. "It's your choice, maybe he'll need it. I had a plethora of vessels, some knew, others did not, but at least they all were able to fend for themselves, magic or otherwise ... but Mikuni knows no magic at all, either."

"I know. And you have no obligation to help a man that you don't know. So if it is a task I must perform before you'll help me, so be it.", he replied. Retrieving her bones then, wherever they might be. Her ancestry was a mystery with no mention of their children at all in Seimeis books and Genji didn't know where to start. He knew it would take him a long time to do Otohas bidding and he'd kill again before he was done. Best Mikuni and Otoha stayed out of his way, so he wouldn't hurt them again. Her words made no sense to him. A reason he was cursed? It wasn't only he who was punished, it was all the people who found their end because of him and who would have the same fate befall them in the months and years he kept living to come. How was any of that meant for him alone. If it was a punishment he deserved this was definitely the wrong one. Maybe Otoha was happy to see Genji again, deeming this her reward for waiting, but he was hardly what she wanted, nor was he who she deserved. He kept quiet and walked on.

"Appreciate you, you mean...?", Genji asked, but he shut his mouth right after and even upped the pace a bit. He didn't want to anger Otoha and yet, Mikuni was possessed by her, robbed of his own life. Since he was a child he was only seen as her vessel and nothing else and he was never allowed to find his own path. He had no easy life and though he was undying, he needn't be appreciative of that fact alone. It seemed like Otoha despised Mikuni a bit for his naivety and for his weakness, but he was never able to find himself to begin with, because of Otoha. "Me? Divine? No..." Whatever it took Otoha to ascend, Genjis soul was too far gone and even if it were possible for him to become a god as well, he didn't want to be. He saw what an immortal life meant and he didn't want one. He wanted to die and he never wanted to hurt anyone ever again, that was all. "It's his choice then..." He'd be tired enough should he come out again. For now Genji was here to protect them. Magic wasn't something that would hurt his body with Otoha around, but who would he have learned it from in a world it became a sin to use it?

"And yet, I can't help but feel a pull toward him, feel like I have to help him somehow. View it as stupidity, or as the answer to my forlorn souls questions, but I don't feel like taking the backseat in such a endeavor, be it because I fear losing you or because I want it done the right way. There is simply no moment in which I seem to have the ability to catch a break, not with you around." It was like all those years ago, back then, before she became a god and Genji was strangely occupied with the thought of not wanting to kill anyone at any point anymore - they both had grown and their personalities reflected the fact, even though it was sad enough that they couldn't have spend the last few years with one another, by their side. Was it all in vain? Oh, how much he hated the thought that it could be, and oh, how hard it was for her to understand why Mikuni was weeping in her stead. There was nothing to gain if he kept close to someone like her, an immoral, inhuman being that had long since ascended, but Genji seemingly wasn't any different. Those two, didn't they belong together in their own right? How preposterous.

"No, you misunderstood. He had a serene life, up there, away from any danger, or any trifling chores. He'd have succeeded Seimei eventually, once he passed and I'd have picked a new vessel - that's how it works, now that I am ... no, was affiliated with them. Either way, his chances are around zero now, but it doesn't matter. He'll find his place.", Otoha grumbled. Genji hadn't angered her, not in particular at the very least, and the two of them had to admit one thing: They were talking about Mikuni like he wasn't there, which he clearly couldn't be at this point, despite them trying their earnest. Otoha had buried him, deep within her conciousness, and that would eventually be his eternal resting place, in a few years time at the very least, she figured, if she were unable to find herself a more fitting body. "We talked about that - I get it, divinity isn't for you. I will let you pass on gracefully once this is done and over with, don't worry." And yet, it was sad - she'd join her beloved in death. Couldn't they spend more time together in the world of the living? They were capable of so much, and yet refused to torture those that lived in this world all on their own, simply to pay their respects. "Don't hurt him too much.", she warned Genji, trudging after him, as she caught up to him and grabbed his hand. "What's with the long face anyway?"

"Tell me then... did we try to break this curse when you were still human? I am sure plans for your ascension had been forged before we met and becoming a goddess was not for me, but maybe we tried something else?", he asked her. H couldn't remember the things they tried and he didn't know what it took to get rid of this burden. He might have tried the same thing plenty of times before, but his mind was a mess and his memories lost to time. He was able to recall what happened since he arrived at the monastery, even though time was but an abstract construct for him at this point, but things in the past were lost and plenty. He didn't even remember why he sought help at that place and if he were to believe those texts, he had come there before, before Mikunis time, but Seimei recognized him and deemed him lost when he contracted the curse once more. Maybe he hadn't been such a bad man after all. Speaking of which... "I wonder... those men that were at the monastery before... they didn't look for me, but for Semei. Do you know why that might have been...? They didn't seem like they wanted a chat with him."

So many things happened at the same time. Genjis arrival, him meeting Otoha and Seimei once more, them trying to sacrifice his soul to her and all the death he caused and then, only a few days later, those men arrived. It was hard to believe all of that was coincidence. "He told me that he had no friends... and that the killings were too much for him. Long before I was his age I killed countless of people, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard on a child to witness it. Countless people died there for you and subsequently him. A warm bed hardly makes up for it.", Genji voiced his own opinion. He felt like Otoha was too hard on that boy and Genji felt indebted to him. Maybe that was why he took his side. Genji wouldn't hurt him, Otoha needn't worry, as long as the curse wasn't involved at least. He suddenly felt a hand around his own and looked at the foreign face, yet whenever he looked at Mikunis body while Otoha had control over it, he could see her as she was, or at least as his memory procured her. He averted his gaze quickly. "I... that's how I always look... I'm sorry..." He kept walking.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Otohas heart skipped a considerable beat as she thought about it. This guy was something else - always had been, always would be and forever could be. Was it something that had to happen? Or were the two of them just forlorn enough to graviate back toward one another? It didn't make much sense in her case, but she snickered. "We tried, and I almost cracked it, too. But guess what, my time ran out, and it took forever until I could walk the mortal plane again - so long, in fact, that you were all but gone once I returned.", she chastised him. Whatever else was she to do? Now, they were at an impasse, but Otoha knew that the knowledge wasn't lost on her - it was lost on Genji, who had long since moved onward and upward, out of the shadows of his own existence and into the embrace of all the virtue in this powerless world; but desperation tied them back together, and it brough him, her fated soulmate, back to where he belonged. "Paladins or inquisitors. I don't know from where, I haven't seen their emblems, but they never mean anything good. I doubt they were there to hang Seimei, or exact justice, but their presence alone is foreboding to say the least." Otoha didn't want to hear it. Those miniscule, brainless idiots were always hanging around the wrong places at the wrong times.

This guy was a tough nut to crack, she knew, and she was aware, but worst of all, he had changed so much, Otoha didn't even recognize him. Fuck, he couldn't say that she still liked him like this - well, she did, she was smitten by this guy for a very good reason, but she also knew that he no longer was who had attracted her in the first place and it sucked, majorly. Where had her Genji gone to? Probably hell, where he definitely belonged, but this one, this lukewarm milquetoast, seemed to have taken his place. Hah, that was just her luck. "He's crying about spilled milk. Look, Genji, I get him, life isn't always nice or easy or pretty, or anything like that. But he's been properly worshipped, he's been taken care of all his life and in hindsight, he complains about sacrificial offerings, about things that he had no control over - it's not his fault but it's already happened. You can't change the past.", the goddess tried to clarify and couldn't help it - she searched for this mans gaze, almost like her life depended on it, and he tore away from her, almost as if he'd die if their eyes met. Had Genji always been this shy? No. "Surely, I do agree on the warm bed part, but he'd overexaggerating, trust me. It's not been that hard on him, and he's no little kid either - at least in normal human terms." That was the truth - the years in which people like him would age well into their hundreds was long over, nobody had magic and nobody could learn how to be immortal anymore. "H-hey! That's not what I meant, you look upset - I know your face, Genji. I know your neutral expression and that isn't it!", she proclaimed as she ran after him.

"I'm sorry I... wasn't there and I'm sorry I forgot about you...", Genji uttered, thinking Otoha was blaming him and she was right to do so. "Still, what did we try then?" Or wouldn't she tell him? From what she said about who Genji was before, he doubted it involved his death, or maybe that was why they hesitated. The man he was now didn't fear to die once the curse had been broken however. Otoha wanted to find her remains, to presumably be able to die, so was that it? Genji couldn't help but feel like she toyed with him, but he didn't have anywhere else to turn to either and besides that, he owed her too, didn't he? They lived a life together, he didn't know how long, but long enough to have children and see them grow. Claiming that never happened only because he didn't remember it felt wrong and thus he could only try to show her a glimpse of the person she wanted to see. Right now however, it seemed as if he shared nothing more but his looks with that man.

"Will they be searching for you?", Genji asked instead. Those people were after him now, knowing who he was, but they'd also investigate the monastery. Half burnt carcasses didn't tell them who might have survived, but they'd search for their goddess and their vessel, would they not? Did they know Mikuni was immortal? Genji listened to Otohas words, to her claiming that Mikuni was but a spoiled child. Lost human lives could hardly be called spilled milk. In a way it wasn't Genjis fault either, that he killed people when a curse forced him to or even when he was human. He did it to survive and because a stranger took an impressionable child under his wings and yet Genji would never stop blaming himself for all the lives that were lost. Had Otoha always been this cold? Genji didn't dare question her any more than he already did. He heard her footsteps on the leaf littered floor behind him, as she picked up the pace too while they hiked down the mountain, but he didn't slow down. "Things on my mind... always... I've changed after all..." That much was true. His thoughts were racing all the time and since he met Otoha once more it seemed like he only had more questions instead of getting some answers.

"What are you apologizing for? Your brain would have disintegrated otherwise, I'm quite sure. Information is something you can't store in your noggin forever, dear - there's no need to be afraid of that, though, I admit, it's rather sad.", she whispered with a hint of anonimity in her voice. Otoha had awoken from a slumber longer than what the gods would allow her to have - longer than what the world would want her to endure, and now that she was herself again, or rather a caricature of what she once had been, she faced whom she loved the most. It was a joke, per se, one twisted and sick and cruel, but something unescapable; she had to deal with it, whether she wanted to or not, it no longer was her choice, and it never would be again. "The most. Our best. Everything there was, and then ... well, we ... I'll save it for another time, honestly, it's a bit too much for such a concise moment. I'm sorry, I get it, you probably want to know right now, but trust me when I say that the horrors of humanity and mankind aren't what should be taking ahold of your brain. We should be leaving this place behind, not fill your brain with silly ideas from ages past. Right now we best trek out of here."

Was she being too secretive? Did she kill too much time with the way she acted? It didn't matter - she didn't need Genji to become self-aware, or loathing of his primary existence, but she had to admit: Whatever this man thought about, it better not be this very moment that they shared in vain, running from a safe haven to the next, in the hopes of finding clues and whereabouts of people that never made it to this stage of life. But that was something she didn't need to tell his guy, oh no, they both had their own ambitions, in a way, and giving Genji false hope, all the while she instilled some sort of fear in his core ... that was the best she could do, for now. "I doubt it, unless they have a way of figuring out that Mikuni isn't among the deceased. Then, they will; and they will try to wrangle us from you, try to make you pay, and if they figure out what your death will amount to, well, let me say this: Your suffering will never end. I'm certain of that.", Otoha informed him as the trudged along a path, narrow and treacherous, formed by nothing but roots, moss and dying leaves - she followed Genji close behind, though, her heart skipped a beat as she almost slipped and caught herself on a sleeve of his. "You never were a man of words, I'll give you that, but maybe you changed for the better - changed to be a better version of yourself, you know? I ... I mean, you're you, and I still find you quite ... hm. Your personality is still pretty attractive to me, if that is one of your concers.", Otoha answered, slowly letting go of Genji as she followed suit. "What's past this forest?"

"Still... it must be hard to find your lost uh... lover... and he doesn't remember you, nor the time you spent...", he elaborated still apologetically. It was harder on her than on him. He didn't know what he had lost and he didn't know what memories he could want to keep alive, despite them being wholly different hundreds of years later. Otoha, as a godess, seemed to have a better grasp on the fragile concept of human life, so maybe it was easier for her to accept, but Genji still felt bad. Yet she still didn't want to tell him more and she kept being cryptic about their past. There were so many questions and Otoha refused him answers willingly. What was it what she was afraid of telling him? It only made him feel anxious, nervous and scared, because what else could he have done that was so horrible, she wouldn't want to break what was left of him? Neither did she want to talk about the efforts they made to break the curse, nor did she want to talk about her death. He could have told her that he was able to walk and talk at the same time, but he kept quiet and accepted her decision.

"Would they take chances, just assuming he is dead too...?", Genji wondered. Either way, they would want to kill Genji, kill Noroichi, now that they knew where he was. He knew they'd send half an army after him. "If they believe me and are able detain me for all eternity... I don't care about my own suffering..." The only reason he didn't trust anyone with that sort of thing was that they'd rather kill him, acting like he wasn't telling the truth about the world ending, just like Seimei didn't believe him. Before Genji could think more about it however, he felt a tug on his clothes and turned around to catch Otoha and hold her to make sure she had good footing. "Are you alright...? I'm sorry... I went too fast...", he mumbled, looking at her. Was what Otoha thought of him to his concern? No, he was simply feeling bad for not knowing her anymore and for how that made her feel. He wanted to be close to her, that were feelings his body or heart seemed to remember, but it weren't any thoughts he could grasp. He let her go once she did and made sure she wouldn't trip again. "Nothing much... The forest runs wide, the nearest villages are all on the other side of the mountain. I brought a map from Seimeis room... but I haven't thought of a destination yet." He eyed Otoha a bit longer. "Tell me if you need a break."

"It could be worse, trust me. Sure, it's akin to a gutpunch, but I don't wish to blame you for things you have no control over, and I also don't need you to belittle me for knowing what you don't. It's fine, Genji, really, it is and there's no harm done just because the two of us won't see eye to eye on the same topics any longer. Knowing that you are as safe and sound as you can be, well, it's enough for me I'd say.", she told him. Was Otoha truly sincere once she riffed on a statement like this? Maybe, but on the other hand, she was still a goddess, still preoccupied with her own ideas and the revelation that, in life, nothing was as it seemed and nothing had to be as it was - there was no way for her out of that, and there clearly was no moment of respite that she could take and wonder over yonder with, in terms of: Did she still love Genji? Or was all that she felt for a man like him a hoax that she gobbled up like some naive child, only waiting for the grave realization that, whatever or not she truly gave a fuck, she was only hurting herself? No answer for that one, huh ...what a shame that was. "Do you feel sorry because it ignites some kind of feeling within you, or do you feel sorry because you think you would have done so ages past?" Otoha couldn't say that the old Genji was much of a gentleman in his younger years and frankly, she hadn't cared much back then either.

"No. Taking chances is like losing, you know? As if." They'd never do that, they were too old and precarious for assumptions like that. Why would an elite force of paladins just act like something of value had been lost without any striking evidence? They'd be insane and Otoha didn't trust the kind of peace that they sang of. "Do you? Or are you simply saying that because there's no other way out for you, at least none that you can see?", she asked with a sigh. Maybe this was all wrong, maybe the two of them were just too different to work with one another, but at least they continued on and didn't stop to have a shouting match in the woods, somewhere, where they'd be spotted in a matter of seconds if they weren't silent enough. Their footsteps alone echoed through the entire place and carried an air of realization with them. Nothing in life was free and their own life wasn't mean to be in vain, either. "I'm fine, you can let go, don't worry. You should worry about yourself when you go at such a breakneck speed - if I hurt myself, that's nothing that would kill me.", the goddess informed Genji once more. The truth was all she had for him, as much as he was trying his best to confer the same thing upon her. Still, why was it that her heart beat so fast when he looked at her with those big, blue, watercolor eyes that seemed to sink deep down into her soul? Otoha huffed. "Then lets find the edges of this thing and get out of here. Sound good? I know what bed we'll sleep in tonight, if you'll allow me to helm this expedition."

Otoha played her feelings down, only to turn around and claim it hurt her. Of course it did, but she wouldn't take any apologies from Genji and he couldn't make it better in any way. He might as well been dead so he wasn't sure if Otoha meant what she said. The man before her just looked like the one she loved, nothing more. "I truly feel sorry Otoha...", he answered, his head hanging low, but he didn't look at her, out of shame most likely. "Even though I might not remember you, I don't want to hurt you and I can imagine that this is hard on you." She probably already knew that eternity was lonely, but maybe she banked on the fact that her chosen man was the only one able to meet her again. Now she must feel disappointed, because he was here with her, but not really. It hurt him too, truly, even though he didn't know that woman, not really. Yet he loved her, didn't he? At least he would have described the feeling in his stomach like that.

"I do. I've killed countless people, more than others are ever able to meet in their lives. For hundreds of years I did nothing else. Death is what I want, but not what I deserve. If it is endless torture, then so be it, I won't fight it. As long as nobody dies anymore, it is of no concern to me, what happens to this cursed body." Just days before he hadn't killed one or two priests, he killed all of them except Mikuni. He had to atone for his sins, sins he amassed for hundreds of years according to Otoha. He knew she didn't understand him and wanted to protect him, but even a goddess couldn't do everything and she didn't need to either. He trailed after her now, deciding to not tell her, that he'd be fine with any pace, instead he let her take the lead, since they had no concrete goal anyway. "Mhm...", he nodded to her wanting to go ahead and simply trailed after her at the pace she chose. The forest was big and the mountain steep. He wasn't sure if they'd make it out of the woods in only one day, but he didn't question Otoha, nor did he question Mikunis limits.

What was she even going on about? Otoha could only wonder if her own hubris would lead to her eventual downfall or if Genji was a tried and true method for her self-descipline, one which had long since lost all squalor and worth, now that she had grown past the need of interhuman connections. The life of a goddess was a lonely one, she was sure of that, but otherwise, wasn't she just one and the same as she had been before her death? "You needn't, please.", she replied, rather stern this time around. Genji was only holding himself and his own feelings hostage, hurting her in every sense possible. There was no sensibility in those words, as much as there wasn't any kind of enjoyment in all the things he spouted. Out here, no pretty words would dull the pain one like her had endured for centuries and definitely not the words of her long deceased lover. "It is, and I feel happy to know you've learned compassion, but this truly isn't the time for any of that, trust me, dearest Genji, you're only disappointing yourself if you think it is." Condulating herself, of course, would be something different, but that's not what she was here for after all. Otoha wanted to escape, not him, but life, and if she could drag Genji to hell with her, so be it.

"So? Do you think I haven't killed? My, Genji, I know those memories elude you, but who said you never had a partner in crime? We had to provide for our children somehow, but to be fair, you were rather ... well, it's not like you weren't stinking rich when we married.", she eventually let slip from her lips and moved onward with all the baggage she carried - emotionally and in reality. Was this even going to help with anything? There was so much to do, yet such little time to fulfill all those requests they never got in the first place. Where was the need for the two of them to spend endless days in what felt like a castletown, holed up in their own luxurious village, filled with nothing but their closest aides? Those days were over, Otoha was sure, and Genji didn't want to settle anywhere anymore - not even in this forest, one which was dangerous and frought with wildlife that could hark at them every second now, yet, it did not. "Come to think of it, where were you before all of this?", she asked soon after. Oh, Otoha wasn't going to let this guy off the hook so easily.

Who was he back when Otoha knew him? Was it really him? It seemed like he was worse than when he was still human. He killed for a living, because it was all he knew, all his master ever showed him and all he was good at, or so he thought. After his masters death he was able to provide for himself and fill the hole he left. Genji had enough money to live comfortably and to buy whatever he wanted, whether it was fancy clothes or a woman occasionally. Yet he noticed that he felt empty and he attributed it to his line of work. He wanted to do something else. He wanted to work like any other man, not by killing from the shadows. When he wanted to stop it was too late however. In the beginning he'd still kill occasionally, but the more people died the worse grew his nightmares. So he stopped, or at least he supposed he did. Otoha however spoke of a coldhearted killer, of a man that killed to survive and also to gather more wealth. Someone who disregarded every life he took even though he knew what it meant. He didn't like the man she described and he feared that being close to her once more, would turn him back into an even worse monster than he was now.

"I still killed more than any other man ever could... and I trap my victims souls...", Genji answered. At least he thought that was how it worked, but either way, Otoha tried to simplify something that was complicated. His actions weren't excused by her doing the same, or any other person. There was no excuse for his actions. Knowing that there was once someone he could confide in made him even more lonely, now that he knew she didn't share his opinions. Talking grew more and more exhausting. He looked up, at Otohas back while she marched ahead, but let his gaze sink to the ground soon after. "Where...?", he reiterated the question he was asked and shook his head. "I... I don't... remember. A small village... I believe...? Someone there talked about the monastery and I... I think I came here after..." And maybe he even killed that person or everyone in that village. He didn't know and his head hurt trying to remember specifics.

Otoha was sure that she had nothing of value to infere upon Genji - there was nothing this guy needed to hear, and there also wasn't anything she desperately had to share with him. It followed, in a sick and kind of twisted way, that the two of them would do best if they just kept their mouths shut and tried their earnest with repaying the debt that they had fallen into, thanks to one another, though, what else were they to do in this case? Not only were they so close again, they also couldn't remember a smidge of the past - at least Genji couldn't and Otoha was none the wiser, in a sick and twisted sense, as she tried her very best to not spill the beans too early. There was little that worked in that case, but why would she tell the truth to a man that didn't even understand the weight of her words? Genji wasn't who he used to be anymore, Otoha needed to understand that, but somehow, someway, she couldn't get herself to do that. Just this once, she figured, she could let herself slip, only to realize that, no, not even this once, she could permit herself to act out of line like that.

"But you aren't actively doing it - you aren't hurting any of them because you genuinely desire it, not anymore, that's from ages past - and back then, another soul was just another coin to you, until the curse took root in your body and you were forced to overthink your actions. Live your life as a man or as a beast - what did you pick, I wonder?" Noroichi probably had the answer for that and the two of them would, eventually, figure out what a dead and forgotten man was speaking of, especially now that he was robbed of his voice and the last bits of reality left within it. "Huh? Your memory is that spotty already?" Otoha didn't turn around, no, she kept on walking, wondering and taking in every single sight - what was for dinner? She probably could get them a bird, lest the soul would fester in Genjis mind as well, but she wondered. Just how much would this man be able to remember if he couldn't even recall the place he'd last been at? It was a struggle for sure, she had to admit, and she wouldn't want to trade with Genji, not for a pitiful second of his sad little life. What a joke the world could be, for all of them, for any reason. "And you passed out in our orchard, where Mikuni found you and then took you in. That's how we met again. But why is your memory that bad? Do you remember anything past that? Beyond that?", she desperately tried to squeeze out of him. What on earth, huh ...

Whatever Otoha said, there was no justifying Genjis deeds. The curse was unfair to others, maybe even to him, but all those lives lay on his shoulders still. He didn't make a strong enough attempt to save all those priests, he killed them all and he didn't want to know how many times something like this happened before. Maybe he was better off killing selectively and choosing to do it, maybe he was a monster for going on rampages and eradicating whole villages. "I don't feel like I am living in the first place...", Genji replied, wondering why Otoha kept asking him all those questions and why she was torturing him like this. He wasn't allowed to choose his path, he died a long time ago and was now simply suffering for his crimes. He got the point, he understood the purpose of that curse, but he didn't understand why other people had to be hurt over and over again. There was no life he could be living, he simply survived, failing constantly at trying his best. More people would die and it would never stop. Did otoha even have a plan?

"I'm sorry...", he mumbled while still trailing behind her. No, he couldn't remember her, nor could he remember what he did for as long as he lived. It was only a matter of time until he forgot about the monastery too, how he got there and how he left. He'd forgotten it before. "I... I remember Mikuni... waking me...", Genji agreed and tried to make sense of the mess in his head. "I remember my past... clearly... my past as a human, before the curse...", he told her. It was true, it felt as if it was yesterday. He knew where he lived, who he was and what he did. He remembered the world, he remembered the amount of magic around and could compare it to now, where there was none, or only very little. He remembered men turning into demons because of it and he remembered sanctions placed on cities to avoid bloodshed. He even remembered the doctors he went to for his own ailing, but none of them was able to help. "I... I also know... that magic is forbidden nowadays, but I don't know where I learned of it. I also remember knowing you... I... I know I loved you when I look at you... I remember how it felt when you were at my side... but I can't grasp any memory connected to any of those feelings... I'm sorry..."

What a sorry sap. Otoha wasn't so sure about this anymore, in fact, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to face Genji right now, like this, when he was sad and pliable, open to any kind of manipulation, and at the same time, so shored off into his own head, he wouldn't even dare to try to accept a fake truth as reality. It sucked, surely, it had to - at least for this guy, who couldn't recall anything and should be happy he still knew his name, and yet, there was nothing for either of them to do about his predicament. "Genji, stop apologizing. You did nothing to me, and you can't help it either way. It had to happen - otherwise, that curse might not have been much of a curse after all. What if all of this is happening because Noroichi is eating away at your own soul? Ever considered that?", she spoke, her tone vexing, her own realization imminent - she was a goddess, she was depserately in love with a man that stopped existing around hundreds of years ago, and she clearly couldn't deal with whatever she got now. In fact, Otoha felt like a mother that was caring for a son that couldn't fend for himself, though, she knew that Genji drew her ire on a whim; she clearly wasn't doing it on purpose and naturally was only trying her best, in many more than one way.

"It's fine, it's fine - don't worry so much about all of this, we'll find a solution, I promised you, right? Now, calm down, dear - there's things in life that just don't fade, and it is what it is either way. Some things aren't meant to be influenced.", she further went on and decided that, yes, tomorrow, Mikuni was going to care for Genji and she was going to take the backseat, give this poor sap some sort of direction that they should go toward and then retreat - she couldn't deal with this, and frankly, she didn't want to, not when she stopped for a bit so Genji bumped into her, grabbed his hand and started pulling him with her. There was no magic left in the air and there was no happiness left in this place; they both had to agree that everything that they did wasn't worth anything anymore - their time was long over and, earnestly? They had it coming, whether or not they wanted it to. "You're fine, I'm here now, we're together now, alright? There's ... Genji, listen. Why are you so sad about something so simple? If those memories elude you, we can forge new ones until our time together is over. You're acting like everything is already sat in stone when nothing has been decided yet. Wipe your tears, will you?", the goddess implored him with utmost sincerity. "It's alright, really."

Genji felt sorry though. He felt sorry for all the lives he took and all the ones he would still take. He felt sorry for ruining Mikunis life. He felt sorry for disappointing Otoha and for hurting her. It didn't matter if any of it was intentionally or not, he still hurt everyone around him. "And if it is...? What of it?", Genji asked her. Whether it being the curse that ate away at him, or immortality itself, it didn't matter. He couldn't stop either of it and his memory would continue to fade. He was barely alive, just dragging this cursed body from place to place and any effort to change his fate ended in even more death. Mikuni and Otoha both were optimistic in trying to help him, but hundreds of years had past without any clue nor any step in the right direction. He was too old to be hopeful, especially when neither Mikuni, nor Otoha shared any substantial plans with him. "Where are we going...?", he asked her. All he wanted was to get them to a save place he could leave them, while he searched for Otohas remains for as long as he could remember his task. Maybe their old home would be a beginning and he read where he'd find it in the library. He wasn't sure if there was anything left these days though.

Otoha was right though, some things weren't meant to be influenced and maybe all that it needed was to seal Genji away. Otoha was a goddess, her powers surely would allow that? Even if, she refused, because she wanted to save a man that was long dead. Suddenly she stopped and Genji almost ran her over. He apologized once more, but Otoha simply grabbed his hand and pulled him further down the mountain. A shiver ran down his spine, he bit his lip and he wanted to let go again, yet he did nothing and just let her her way. Was she trying to comfort him? He felt chastised instead, but didn't say anything anymore and he especially didn't apologize anymore. He simply nodded in agreement. He was tired after their exchange and he preferred some silence, even if it meant he was more aware of the curse starting to wake within him.

Otoha wasn't having this conversation anymore. In fact, she was dragging herself down this mountain as fast as she could and Genji seemingly followed suit without another word. There was little they could do, sure, that was the obvious solution to any problems that ever existed, but in truth, they had to admit, that they weren't doing as much stupid stuff as one would assume just from looking at them. The two of them, adults or not, weren't out for vengeance like this; it was a stroll they were taking, and neither of them was all that clear in the head, which eventually only led to something like a disrepancy among all the other thoughts, at least in Otohas noggin, as she chased the wind down the mountain and her heart skipped a beat whenever she felt just how frail this body was. Her own wasn't like this, it was trained, knew where it found proper footing and balance, but Mikunis, well, it felt much like that of a newborn dear, feasibly stuck in this perpetual state of weakness, and she wondered just how much he could take if she already felt how sweaty those palms were and how harshly those clothes clung to her form, once the glistening sweat on her body was forming a connection with the layers of fabric she'd draped themselves in.

She didn't know how long they'd been running for when she stopped, but she knew that all her being ached and she couldn't move on, not without a proper rest, especially now when it felt like no sun was coming through those tree crowns and all she had was a sorry excuse for as to why she actually was using this body. "We're going away from here. Okay, fine, no more charades.", she reprimanded herself and gasped for air. "We're going home, but that'll take a bit, so, I'm just moving toward the closest village to this monastery first.", Otoha elaborated. Her eyes were tied to the trees, to what was above her, and without much grace, she went to the first one that seemed sturdy enough and tried to climb it. Those soft, thin fingers of Mikuni had no grasp on the trunk and bark whatsoever and she grit her teeth. Did she really have to ask Genji for a lift? He definitely had to be tired, too, and Mikuni wasn't going to climb this thing by his lonesome, not in a million years whatsoever. "Ugh." Sleeping on the floor also wasn't, what she wanted, though, and resting up there definitely was the better choice. She tried again, and failed again - this time, her fingers even bled from the friction. "Stupid body ..."

Genji followed Otoha, seeing her struggle more often than not. A few times she almost tripped on some roots sticking out of the ground and Genji almost caught her, before seeing that she was fine. This body, Mikunis body, wasn't used to any of this and Otoha felt it too. She grew tired in this vessel but firmly pressed on without speaking another word. Her feet started to drag on the floor ans Genji could see the sweat forming on her vessel and wetting her clothes. "You should rest...", Genji pointed out eventually, but Otoha had a clear goal in mind as it seemed and they went on a bit further. "Let me carry your bag at least." No, she was too proud to accept Genjis help and she was in the process of ruining this poor guys body. If she felt tired herself, was she even able to heal it? Genji wasn't sure, but at least she answered him again after a while. "Is that smart...? With people looking for both of us...?", Genji asked. He wanted to avoid the nearest villages until things have calmed down. They were both easy to spot, especially when traveling together.

Otoha finally stopped, beat and exhausted, but instead of sitting down for a bit, she tried her luck on one of the trees. Genji wasn't sure if he should step forward, if he should touch her at all and unprompted, but after she slid down and tore her skin open on the bark a second time, he came closer and softly grabbed her wrists. "Otoha... you need to be patient.", he tried to reason and stepped a bit behind her to get a white fabric out of the bag she carried. Shortly after he pressed it on her palms. Then he helped her to set the backpack down and did the same with his own and leaned it against the tree. He hesitantly grabbed her and put his arm around her waist. "Hold on.", he mumbled before using just a little bit of magic to get up the tree and set her down between two big branches. He crouched in front of her on another and held on to a smaller branch above his head. "Are you sure you want to rest here? I can go and take a look around. Maybe I'll find a more suitable place."

She wasn't so sure about any of this anymore - had she ever been? No, no, she never was. Actually, she was tainted with her own idiocy and just chasing after some stubborn beliefs that she couldn't let go of, wasn't that it? Yes, and even worse, wasn't she just the same person that tried, in vain, to get something to work that never was supposed to be working in the first place? It was, what it had to be, and quite frankly, she wasn't going to gain any footing in this life of hers if someone like Genji kept existing in it. Hindering her every move, telling her what to do, how to behave, how to exist - he acted like he knew, and he probably did, she had to admit, but she didn't understand, either. There was a sense of serenity in this moment of respite that she couldn't quite grasp; there was something that hurt her, deep within, as her own core slowly but surely infected itself with the stupidity she couldn't keep bottled up. "Resting is for those that haven't worked a day in their life.", she suddenly murmured, believing that the staunch expression on her face spoke so many volumes, it had to hurt, in a way, not just her, but others as well. There had to be things that happened, sooner or later, and she was the epicenter of those happenings, in a strange way at the very least.

"Patient? With a body like that? Spare me the excuses. Mikuni is just weak, he has to learn how to handle himself, not the other way around. I'm trying my best here, but apparently it's not good enough for you or me.", the goddess spoke, simply upset enough to not act out the usual serenity that she displayed with every turn and move of her body. It was nothing if not something that she had to learn by her lonesome, and even though she attempted to be the very best at just that, she couldn't help it as she sighed and took the fabric from Genji, gently rubbing her aching hands against them. Blood stained the piece of fabric and her gaze hung upon Genji, who seemingly had a better idea than this. What a stupid man he could be - but whatever, there was no need to go bother him with her ideas; she was done and tired and this was stupid, especially when he pulled her so close again, wrapped her into his arms and reminded her of days past, which never would transpire ever again. Now, she was jealous of herself, wasn't she? "No, it's fine, here is fine, lets just rest in the trees and move in a bit. I don't need to think about it, actually, I don't want to waste too much time anyway and you can't sleep. This body is just exhausted and that's draining me, if I'm honest."